1 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,723 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,925 Tis the season to be jolly. 3 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,001 Mid-June? 4 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,369 Kids, this is the holiest night of the year. Tomorrow is Father's Day. 5 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,808 And that makes tonight Father's Day Eve. 6 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:48,167 Joy to the world A father's born. 7 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,881 Let me receive great gifts. 8 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,408 Dad, there's no such thing as Father's Day Eve. 9 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,563 No Father's Day Eve? 10 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,889 Does this mean there's no such thing as Daddy Claus? 11 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,402 Fine. There's a Daddy Claus. 12 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,970 Is there a Super Bowl Bunny? 13 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,485 Sure. Why not? 14 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,642 Bart, Lisa, we've gotta get to the mall before it closes. 15 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,843 Oh, can I come with you? I know I can't! 16 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:23,247 Hey, Mom. Can I have some money to buy Dad a present? 17 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:27,291 If I give you money, how is the gift really from you? 18 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,600 Where do you get your money? 19 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,529 Here's a 10. Make your own card. 20 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,442 Now, Ralphie, let me explain it to you again. 21 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,808 I give you $5 and you buy Daddy a present. 22 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,405 Okey-doke. 23 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,120 Hey, give me that! Oh! 24 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,683 Whoa! This is a 50! 25 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,410 This kid's finally paying off. 26 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,805 All right, Ralphie. Let's see what you can do with a hundred. 27 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,044 Come on, Ralphie. Big money! Big money, Ralphie! 28 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,571 Big money... 29 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,081 Cool. 30 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,130 That's what I'm getting. How about you? 31 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,487 I'm afraid the best thing I could find is this. 32 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:30,081 Ay, caramba! You know, this mass-produced junk 33 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,561 doesn't express how I feel about Dad. 34 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,090 I am making him a present that comes from the heart. 35 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,803 Hello. I'm looking for something in a pipe cleaner. 36 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,326 Extra bendy with medium fuzz. 37 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,609 Mmm-hmm. This just came in from Zanzibar. 38 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,848 What a great Father's Day! 39 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,849 Here you go, Dad. I hope you like it. 40 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,331 I've forgotten what it is. 41 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,567 A Leather Buddy! 42 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,166 There's no limit to what I can do with this. 43 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,126 Fear not, m'lady. 44 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:10,046 Captain Dash Superstud is here with his small tool! 45 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,207 This is the worst Father's Day ever! 46 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,290 Oh, Captain, you're so handy. 47 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,209 Bart, this is the greatest present I ever received. 48 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,611 To open another gift now 49 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,887 would be like following the London Philharmonic 50 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,883 with Jessica Simpson. 51 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,724 What you got, Lisa? 52 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,087 What the hell is this? 53 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,402 The unicorns are you and me, Dad. 54 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,686 I drew it myself! 55 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,048 What do you think, 56 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,248 Pretty heartfelt, huh? Huh? 57 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,001 Oh, it's heartfelt. 58 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,163 There's no escaping that. Thanks, honey. 59 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,005 You didn't like it, did you? 60 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,885 No, no, no. It's great. I'm done with it now. 61 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,684 Lisa, sweetie, I think your father 62 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,296 would like to put your book up on the fridge 63 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,846 where everyone can see how nice it is. 64 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,882 Aw, isn't that cute? 65 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,245 Oh, Dad, how could you? 66 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,290 It's not my fault! Lousy magnet! 67 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,524 NO, no... 68 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:35,801 What the... 69 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,411 I still don't understand how her feelings can be hurt. 70 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,761 It's my day! 71 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,923 She's not going to get over this quickly. I know women. 72 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,043 Yeah. But I know how to win women back. 73 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,408 I even won you back after I lost our wedding album in a bar bet! 74 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,721 You what? 75 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,882 I mean, I will win you back! 76 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,806 Here comes the Moe With a pretty girl. 77 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:09,244 'Cause these are things that happened In real life. 78 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,569 Hey, Moe. Can we get a drink? 79 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,404 Ah, shut up and hand me more Moe heads. 80 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,524 Cool, I'm a street. 81 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,166 Hey, Simpson. Are you gonna steal the sign? 82 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,005 Yeah. If a sign's got your name on it, you can take it 83 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,321 and the cops can't do nothing about it. 84 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,402 It's like the Sixth Amendment or something. 85 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,605 Well, that sign would look good hidden under my bed. 86 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:47,001 Whoa! Can we dish out the peer pressure or what? 87 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,566 Hey, Milhouse! 88 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,923 Cool kids ride bikes with their eyes closed! 89 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,525 I'm cool! 90 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,287 I'm outta here. I got Hebrew school. 91 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,681 I'm sorry I made you feel bad, honey. 92 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,082 But I'm gonna show you just how much I care about your feelings. 93 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,770 One adult and one baby, please. 94 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,083 I'm not a baby. A baby is zero to two. 95 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,369 Her first words. Play along! 96 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,807 It's 50 cents less for babies! 97 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,968 I'd rather not go than lie. 98 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,166 How you doing? 99 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,481 So, is that your jacket on the back of that chair? 100 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,441 Check it out. I stole the sign. 101 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,841 Check it out. We stole The Scream. 102 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,889 Put that away. It creeps me out. 103 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,164 ...stupid dad doesn't care about my feelings. 104 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,005 Oh, Lisa, may I borrow one of your colored pencils? 105 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,602 Sure! That's all you men do is take and take and take 106 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,160 without regard to feelings or unicorns! 107 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,562 Here, take my lunch, too! 108 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,486 Just take my whole backpack! 109 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,006 Which of you boys hurled Lisa Simpson's backpack through my window? 110 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,204 Oh, it had to be a boy, did it? 111 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,648 You think a girl can't flip out? Well, you're wrong! 112 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,523 My flexi-cast! 113 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,763 Lisa, I hold in my hand a sticker with a frownie face on it. 114 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,525 Don't make me affix it to your file. 115 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,807 "Don't make me affix it to your file." 116 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,487 I'm peeling off the back. 117 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,762 Don't make me do this. 118 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,650 May God forgive me. 119 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,166 Willie, we've got rats chewing through the wiring again. 120 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,164 Leave me alone! I'm making me ramen noodles! 121 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:12,245 Mr. And Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid we have a real problem with Lisa. 122 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,802 Your daughter broke a window, upended an ash can, 123 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,531 and hurled a Thermos brand thermos onto the street! 124 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,251 Does it still keep hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold? 125 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,842 I'm afraid it doesn't keep any drinks anything. 126 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,725 I've asked the school psychologist to shed some light 127 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,246 on your daughter's sudden burst of inappropriateness. 128 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:39,001 I'm afraid Lisa's rage stems from extraordinary disillusionment 129 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,884 with a parental figure. 130 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,769 In this case, her father. 131 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,367 Oh, sure. It's easy to point out my faults. 132 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,602 It's a little harder to shut up! 133 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,207 Looking at your daughter's essays, this isn't a new trend. 134 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,521 "Daddy's Face-Down Thanksgiving." 135 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,090 "Left at the Grand Canyon." 136 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,731 "The Day a Policeman Came to My Soccer Game." 137 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,283 Mr. Simpson, Lisa is at a crucial juncture. 138 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,604 If she doesn't see her father as a positive role model, 139 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,127 she could hate men for the rest of her life. 140 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,811 Oh, I know! 141 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,004 But how can I undo eight years of jerkiness 142 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,970 in two easy sessions at no cost to me? 143 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,088 If I may make a suggestion. 144 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,122 The school is looking for a new Safety Salamander. 145 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,729 When Lisa sees you teaching children to avoid downed power lines, 146 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,371 it could restore her faith in you and the male gender. 147 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,805 Oh, I don't know. 148 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,616 What happened to the last Safety Salamander? 149 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,211 Uh, he fell asleep in the suit and suffocated. 150 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,641 I can do that! 151 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,283 Okay, Lisa. Time for Daddy's big surprise. 152 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,322 Sometimes it's scary when your dreams come true, isn't it, sweetie? 153 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,290 I guess. Yeah. 154 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,204 Now I'm off to bring safety to Springfield Elementary 155 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,884 and win back your love! 156 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,201 Whoa! 157 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,522 What's that, honey? I can't hear you very well? 158 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,727 Salamander away! 159 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,646 Sorry, Bart! 160 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,810 The first rule of bus safety 161 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,769 is always wear your seatbelts. 162 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,241 School buses don't have seatbelts. 163 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,163 Then what protects you if we crash? 164 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,129 A metal bar at tooth level. 165 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,281 Stop this bus! 166 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,371 My teeth! 167 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,646 Look, Lisa. I made safety happen. 168 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,571 Safety tip 99, 169 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,563 always double bolt your easel. 170 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,881 Ouch! Son of a... 171 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,761 Questions? Comments? 172 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,966 Are you a girl? 173 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,327 Because I don't see a sala-wiener. 174 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,130 Did I hear, "Where are the fireworks?" 175 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,971 Because here they are! 176 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,481 Every man for himself! Trample if you must! 177 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:58,760 On! 178 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,247 Safety! Safety! Time for safety! 179 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,841 So, sweetie, am I your hero again? 180 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,970 Jamie's father just takes her to the zoo once a month. 181 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,082 Couldn't you be that kind of dad? 182 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:25,081 Now, honey, you know Daddy's not allowed in the zoo anymore. 183 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,525 Oh, yeah. 184 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,201 But I'll never stop trying to redeem myself in your eyes. 185 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,325 How did you do that? 186 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,930 I don't know. 187 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,521 I said turn left on Bart Boulevard. 188 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,047 I'm telling you there t'ain't no Bart Boulevard. 189 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,361 Forget it. Baby's already out. 190 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,808 Just get out your hunting knife and cut the umbrelical cord. 191 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,126 Yes'm. 192 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,010 Hey! Watch it! 193 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,323 This is Kent Brockman live at the scene of the worst accident 194 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,731 in Springfield history. 195 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,566 But not to worry. The city's emergency services are on the way. 196 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,410 Can we all agree not to get our insurance involved? 197 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,130 Come on, people. Be cool. 198 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,126 Springfield needs a hero and it needs one now. 199 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,130 This looks like a job for a dad trying 200 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,964 to win back his daughter's love. 201 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,967 I'm forever indebted to you, and my many creditors. 202 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,082 We were carpooling! And that's it! 203 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,481 My mother's still in the car! 204 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,411 No, she's not. 205 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,771 Three cheers for our new hero! 206 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,251 Only three? 207 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,644 Okay, six. 208 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,569 That's more like it. 209 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,882 Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! 210 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,800 Oh, please. You're embarrassing me. 211 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,801 I hereby award you Springfield's 212 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,043 highest honor, the key card to the city! 213 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,686 Now any new business? 214 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,364 Mister Mayor, your administration 215 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,204 has been one fiasco after another! 216 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,486 Who the hell are you? 217 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,641 Your press secretary. 218 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,405 I knew I should've hired my nephew. 219 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:37,811 I am your nephew. 220 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,209 Okay, so I stink. Tough Toblerone. 221 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,089 Read the charter, people. 222 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,170 I cannot be removed from office 223 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,244 except by a simple recall election. 224 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,570 And... Uh... Disregard that last part. 225 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,723 Recall! Recall! Recall! 226 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,804 Recall! Recall! Recall! 227 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,964 Recall! Recall! Recall! 228 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,289 Recall, recall, recall. 229 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:09,570 Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby has survived 12 re-election campaigns, 230 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,849 countless accusations of infidelity, bribery, extortion, 231 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,003 and his bizarre attempt to hijack a 747. 232 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,720 Take this plane anywhere girls are going wild. 233 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,048 But the mayor may have a tougher time 234 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,010 getting past next month 's special recall election. 235 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,048 Over 200 candidates have filed, 236 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,043 including yours truly, Kent Brockman. 237 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,522 In other news, a common household fabric can kill you. 238 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:35,087 Find out which one when you vote for Kent Brockman. 239 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,128 Dear God. Every whacko, nut case, and Disco Stu in this town 240 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,281 is gonna run against me. 241 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,404 Just imagine me the mayor! 242 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,563 Then nobody would laugh at my singing. 243 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,247 I'm proud to be an American 244 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,810 I am so screwed. 245 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,484 Vote Luigi. I make the good government just the way you like. 246 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,809 Vote for me, a steroid-abusing, 247 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,083 pot-smoking, women-groping, son of a Nazi, 248 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,050 washed up has-been movie star! 249 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,689 Oh, also, I believe we should keep an open mind 250 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,285 toward stem cell research. 251 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,603 This election is out of control. 252 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,523 Someone terrible could win. 253 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,767 If you're lame enough to vote, vote for me. 254 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,482 Jimbo, tough on nerds. Tougher on dorks. 255 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,085 Dad, we gotta do something. 256 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,362 What can I do? I'm only one man. 257 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,851 Lincoln was only one man. 258 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,207 Are you sure there wasn't a midget in his hat? 259 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,770 I read an e-mail that said there was. 260 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,128 Look, as the Safety Salamander, you are beloved by all. 261 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,406 And if you were the mayor, 262 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,280 we could make sure that only good people, like me, tell you what to do. 263 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,847 I will run for mayor. 264 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,366 And I will be your campaign manager! 265 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,205 And I'll find out what a mayor does! 266 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,561 Expand my brain, learning juice. 267 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,368 Oh, I hate press conferences. 268 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,244 Homie, you might score more points 269 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,607 if you didn't wear that salamander suit. 270 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,082 You look like the mascot for some horrible southern college. 271 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,926 Marge, without this outfit, I'm just Homer Simpson, multiple felon. 272 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:31,484 With it, I'm a costumed hero like George Washington or Dame Edna. 273 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,691 Today marks a new dawn for Springfield. 274 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,771 This salamander is sitting on eggs labeled elder care, flextime, 275 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,081 and downtown pedestrian mall! 276 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,965 And those eggs are ready to hatch! 277 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,684 Now I will take your questions. 278 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,685 Uh, what special powers would a salamander bring to the office of mayor? 279 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,443 Well, there's my x-ray vision, my fire breath, 280 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,522 and I can get big laughs with tennis balls. 281 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,761 Bloop, bloop, bloop. 282 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,246 Bloop, bloop, bloop. 283 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,211 Oh, I didn't know salamanders could do all those things. 284 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,124 And to think, for all these years I've been a gecko man. 285 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,049 Take a hike, jerk. 286 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,123 Mister Simpson, what about those photos 287 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,123 of you strangling your child? 288 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,041 Why should we let this election be influenced 289 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,849 by a photo taken hours ago? 290 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,124 Now restaurant matchbooks for everyone! 291 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,489 Salamander! Salamander! 292 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,406 Homer, you're doing great. You're way ahead in the polls. 293 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,847 Even those negative campaign ads aren't hurting you. 294 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,526 Simpson barely even comes in to work anymore. 295 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,489 He pays a homeless man to do it for him. 296 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,803 I, um... I don't feel so good, Blue. 297 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,243 Hey, people may not love Homer Simpson 298 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,890 but they love this suit. 299 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,649 Just like they love their stupid American flag. 300 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,687 Oh, what's that smell? 301 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,482 It's the smell of impending victory. 302 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,130 Did you just vomit in that suit? 303 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,326 A little. 304 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,485 Have you cleaned that suit once since you got it? 305 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,880 No. But I swam in it. 306 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,281 Ugh. I better wash that thing. 307 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,840 It's hard to know where the suit ends and you begin. 308 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,160 Yeah. 309 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,084 But aren't you gonna have fun finding out? 310 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,286 No! 311 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,971 That's weird... Started off as an egg. 312 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,806 Our next question goes to Eleanor Abernathy. 313 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,531 Also known as the Crazy Cat Lady. 314 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,449 Uh, Cat Lady, how would you boost 315 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,010 the city's commercial tax base? 316 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,487 Small business incentives, 317 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,690 corporate accountability.-. 318 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,764 Cats in everyone's pants! 319 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,240 All right. Thank you, Cat Lady. See you in the spin room. 320 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,244 - Okay. Okey-dokey. - Yeah. 321 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,126 Our next question is for the Safety Salamander. 322 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,850 Sir, how would you restore our city's crumbling infrastructure? 323 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,480 That's an excellent question, Kent. First of all... 324 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,050 What the... Must have shrunk when my wife washed it. 325 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,489 Why, without his costume, he's naught but a man! 326 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,848 Hey, screw this. I'm not gonna let any human tell me what to do. 327 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,560 That's right. I am a man. 328 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,688 The man who dressed like a salamander 329 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,001 to win back his daughter's love. 330 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,531 Let's meet her now! 331 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:40,569 Uh, well, my son is here, too. Let's meet him now. 332 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,091 Here's Bart! 333 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,842 What's up? Boring! 334 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,241 We're sick of you and your hatchlings! 335 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,283 Please stop throwing fruit! 336 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,242 Our exit polls show no candidate 337 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,129 attained the 5% necessary to win. 338 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,489 And Mayor Joe Quimby will keep his job, which I didn't want anyway. 339 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,364 Your loss, jackasses. 340 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,844 Well, Dad, you tried to make this town a better place. 341 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,891 And no matter what, that makes you my hero. 342 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,281 Aw, thanks. Now how about a dance with your daddy? 343 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,089 I can't believe I lost after Ben Affleck 344 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,128 campaigned day and night for me. 345 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,487 Yeah, I warned you about that. 346 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,171 Whoops! Be careful of my tail! 347 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,208 You don't have a tail anymore. 348 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,965 You know, I... I still feel it. 349 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,765 It's so itchy.