1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,005
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,247
Oh, my God! Everything
we own is in that house!

3
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,448
How often have you
driven by a fire and thought,

4
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,010
“How can this
benefit me?“

5
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,730
Well, think no more
and drive on down

6
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,802
to the Smoke Damage
Outlet Store!

7
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,042
Where there's smoke,
there's bargains!

8
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,416
We've got
fire-damaged furniture,

9
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,601
smoke-damaged
smoke detectors,

10
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,729
action figure puddle, something
we think was an air conditioner,

11
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,201
and boxes and boxes
of “you-figure-it-out."

12
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,962
Come in today and
meet Smokin' Joe Frazier!

13
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,362
I'm only here because
my name had “Smoke" in it.

14
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:58,128
Oh, come on. That has
nothing to do with it, Smokin' Joe.

15
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,488
I can send people
to your house. Bad people.

16
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,643
Come on! We're going
to that store

17
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,564
before the next commercial
makes me do something else.

18
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,291
Buy the suit off my back,
only $9.95.

19
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,164
Stop, drop, and save.

20
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,167
I've never noticed
that sign before,

21
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,084
and I'm a very
good noticer.

22
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,606
They must've just
made this a toll road.

23
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,604
They can't charge me for
something I use everyday.

24
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,967
What's next?
A spatula tax?

25
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,644
Well, what choice
do you have?

26
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,883
Voilà! Which is
French for ta-da!

27
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,810
Boy, you sure
showed them.

28
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,564
Hey, if she's not paying,
I'm not paying.

29
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,563
And if you're not paying,
I'm not paying.

30
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,369
Of course you're not.
We're in the same car.

31
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,727
Oh, I just wanted us
to start talking again.

32
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,404
No one is using
the tollbooth.

33
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,165
Damn it. We need those 75¢ to
de-python the town fountain.

34
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,521
Get those cheapskates through
that toll by any means necessary.

35
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,887
Got it.
No survivors.

36
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:22,960
No shooting!

37
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,331
But it's already cocked.

38
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,448
All right, shoot it
in the fireplace.

39
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,804
What the Hello Kitty?

40
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,565
Tire spikes?

41
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,689
Oh, they blocked
my shortcut.

42
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,730
I'm trapped like
the "L" in a BLT.

43
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,890
We've gone over
the spikes, Tim!

44
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,962
We're gonna have
to come up with 75¢!

45
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,481
Don't worry.
This one's on Jesus.

46
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,081
Oh, be cool for once.

47
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,562
Do it, Marge. Today 75¢,
in five years, 80¢.

48
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,320
Assuming voter approval.

49
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,370
No!

50
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,040
Oh, boy.

51
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,447
My tires have been
severely damaged!

52
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,285
The prophecy
has been fulfilled!

53
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,091
Seymour, get out
and change the tires!

54
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,242
I don't have
four spares, Mother.

55
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,971
You don't have
four anything.

56
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,805
I fell into
a burning ring of fire

57
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,522
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher.

58
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,682
And it burns, burns, burns.

59
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,883
The ring of fire
The ring of fire.

60
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,970
Kent Brockman here
atop Mount Springfield,

61
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,850
where the melting icecap has
revealed a discovery so gruesome

62
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,096
we'll give you a moment to get
the children out of the room!

63
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,320
That's long enough.
Here it is.

64
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:36,207
A frozen mailman somehow buried
in ice several decades ago.

65
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,327
For further analysis,

66
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,522
here's the one scientist
who's always home

67
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,250
when we call,
Professor John Frink.

68
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,886
Uh, based on
the ice core samples

69
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,203
and the size of the
mailman's bell bottoms,

70
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,521
measure that there,
we have determined

71
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,286
he was frozen
sometime in the 1960s.

72
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,727
Swinging for all
except for me.

73
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,361
I was making napalm
to drop on Da Nang!

74
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,204
The post office has
promised to deliver

75
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,965
every letter in
this 40-year-old mailbag.

76
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,522
So get ready, Mr. Largo.

77
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,364
You were accepted
to Julliard.

78
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,363
Ah! I got into Julliard?

79
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,444
I could have been second chair
with the Cincinnati Pops!

80
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,050
I'm C3-D2!

81
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,531
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!

82
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,045
Here you go, pally.

83
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,010
What's this? A letter from 1966?

84
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,761
This says I ain't
allergic to pollen.

85
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,525
So I could've gone to the park
and played with other kids!

86
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,329
I gotta make up
for lost time!

87
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,847
Sitting in a rocking
chair eating baby crackers.

88
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,287
Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock, banana.

89
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,649
A-B-C-D-E-F-G Wash those
June bugs off of me.

90
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,406
Yeah, I got a 40-year-old letter
here for Mrs. Abraham Simpson.

91
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,687
My grandma? I haven't
seen her in years.

92
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,801
She ran away.

93
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,247
Ran away from all this, huh?
What a fool.

94
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,362
Hey, Grampa, we got a
letter for Grandma.

95
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,161
Open it up. This may be my last
chance to invade her privacy.

96
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,651
"My dearest Mona,

97
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,167
"you've just left my arms
to return to your husband, Abe,

98
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,049
"and already I ache for you."

99
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,088
Mona cheated on me?

100
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,889
I don't know how
she found the time

101
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,008
with her late night
pottery classes

102
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,363
and supermarket trips
that took all weekend!

103
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:20,126
Lisa, I'm not sure that letter
is age-appropriate reading.

104
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,363
Why can't the government edit
our mail like other countries?

105
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,205
"I know I'm just a lifeguard but
I want you to run away with me.

106
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,044
"If you don't reply
to this letter,

107
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,851
"I'll know that you've
chosen to stay with Abe.

108
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,129
"But I know in my heart that the
baby you're carrying is mine."

109
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,648
"Love always, M."

110
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,290
That's ridiculous!

111
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,084
That was my baby
in her belly!

112
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,128
Look how happy
we were.

113
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,645
What the...

114
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:57,443
Homer, that means your dad
might not be your dad.

115
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,284
I don't care what
that letter said.

116
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,806
This man raised
me single-handedly.

117
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,531
When I think of all the
things he's done for me...

118
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,250
The many times he...

119
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,245
Lifeguard, huh?
Mmm...

120
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,527
So this guy might
be my real father.

121
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,927
And his name
starts with.

122
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,685
Moleman? Mister Burns?

123
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,206
M. Night Shyamalan?

124
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,841
That would be a twist worthy of
his increasingly lousy films!

125
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,843
Of course
I'm your father!

126
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,685
Here. Mush up your face
and you look just like me.

127
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:33,526
See?

128
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,285
Yeah, but that also works
with the dog's butt.

129
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,649
Oh, hello, handsome!

130
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,324
Well, this whole
fatherhood issue

131
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,971
could be resolved
with a simple DNA test.

132
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,530
Aw, nertz to that!

133
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,524
Homer, I fed you and clothed
you until you were 13!

134
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,080
If that's not a father,
I don't know what is!

135
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,049
I'll be waiting
for your apology

136
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,408
on the "old man bench"
at the mall!

137
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,011
I sit by the trash so people
have to come up to me.

138
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,044
Finished your soda, eh?

139
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,805
Oh, your hair's looking
sharp from the back.

140
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,244
Homie, what's wrong? Did those
pork chops give you a tummy ache?

141
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,527
The only tummy ache
is in my head.

142
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,888
I can't stop wondering
who my real father might be.

143
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,806
If you're lost, you
can look And you will find me.

144
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,689
Time after time.

145
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,688
If you fall I will catch you
I'll be waiting.

146
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,083
Time after time.

147
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,247
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me.

148
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,721
Time after time.

149
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,242
There's only one
lifeguard whose name begins with.

150
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,129
Mason Faibanks.

151
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,441
His hobbies are philandering,
writing letters,

152
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,569
and making up
for lost time.

153
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,523
"Okay, until you're sure this guy's
cool, stick to your cover story."

154
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,524
"Oh, that sounds hard."
"Just do it!"

155
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,041
Can I help you?

156
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,084
Uh, yes, I'm a reporter
with a local paper.

157
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:15,131
I'm doing a story on people
who wear sweaters.

158
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,089
Do you mind if I ask
you some questions?

159
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,241
I'd be delighted.

160
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,449
But I must warn you I don't
wear a sweater every day.

161
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,921
Interesting.
Interesting.

162
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,922
So I infer from
all the knickknacks

163
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,002
you're some
sort of fruitcake?

164
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,130
No. Actually, I salvage
valuables from sunken ships.

165
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,924
Some call me
a treasure hunter.

166
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,843
Oh, that is so cool!

167
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,446
Ooh, a dish
of shrunken heads!

168
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,806
Those are raisins.

169
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,289
So you don't have
any shrunken heads?

170
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,806
Well, my hat size
is a number six.

171
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,200
That is small, right?

172
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,004
It's smaller than average.

173
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,365
And this is
the lady in my life.

174
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,041
You know
it's a boat, right?

175
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,167
Indeed I do.

176
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:09,007
I loved a real woman a long time
ago but, uh, it didn't work out.

177
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,607
Well, uh, I'm sure
my listeners would love

178
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,489
to know the story
behind that name.

179
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,325
Listeners? I thought you
worked for a newspaper.

180
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,643
No. Uh, I said I worked
for a radio station.

181
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,610
980 on the AM dial, but
number one with our viewers.

182
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,923
Viewers? Wouldn't that be
for a TV station?

183
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:31,489
Ah, well, I...
I think you're my pappy!

184
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,210
What?

185
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:37,205
I found this letter you wrote
to my mom, Mona Simpson.

186
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,966
Dear God! I always dreamed
this day would come.

187
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,884
And now that it's here,
there are so many feelings,

188
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,246
I...

189
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,561
Oh, possible Daddy!

190
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,450
Mwah!

191
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,531
I'm sorry. I got a little
carried away there.

192
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,284
Perfectly all right.

193
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,482
Here's your gum back.

194
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,171
Springfield Public
Access Television presents...

195
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,886
The Bully Corner, with
Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney.

196
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,803
Good evening,
dumbasses.

197
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:09,204
Tonight, our guest is Oscar
nominee William H. Macy.

198
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,327
Welcome.

199
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,811
Thanks for having
me on, guys.

200
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,089
You know, these public access shows
remind me of independent film.

201
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,731
Special people,
not special effects.

202
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,241
Big hearts,
not big budgets.

203
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,320
Very well put!

204
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,850
Now get him!

205
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,081
Hey!

206
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,243
So tell us, what's next
for William H. Macy?

207
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,607
Besides bleeding.

208
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,210
You know
Neve Campbell?

209
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,450
Marge, I found
my real father!

210
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,045
His name is
Mason Fairbanks!

211
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,488
He has a knife just for cheese,
and he talks like this.

212
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,769
"Homer,
please do that in the loo."

213
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:50,083
Oh, Homie, you just
met this British man.

214
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,051
It's too soon to get
so emotionally invested.

215
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,605
Hmm, honey,

216
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,160
you've given me a lot
to think about tomorrow,

217
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,844
when we're on daddy's boat!

218
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,763
Mr. Fairbanks,
looking at your boat,

219
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,003
I gotta say Grandma
bet on the wrong horse.

220
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:12,564
Now, Bart, over the years, I've come to
learn that the most valuable treasure

221
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,768
is right here

222
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,444
on this map.

223
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:21,480
These waters are home to a treasure
lost hundreds of years ago.

224
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:24,689
The famed emeralds
of Piso Mojado.

225
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,491
You know, if I was born
three months later,

226
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,608
emerald would be
my birthstone.

227
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,809
Yes. Fate has a strange
sense of humor.

228
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,327
The emeralds were nestled in
the bosom of a Spanish galleon

229
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,289
returning home
from the Caribbean.

230
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,401
We must pray to
Santa Maria to save us.

231
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,569
One of you
was not praying!

232
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,564
It was me! I was thinking
of a joke I heard!

233
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,051
Why you little...

234
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,286
And now that treasure
is somewhere down there.

235
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,249
Wow. That story
had everything.

236
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,881
Action, treasure,
water, a guy...

237
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,656
Would you like to come
to our house for dinner?

238
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,727
I'd be delighted.

239
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,964
I've dined with the Prince of
Wales and with killer whales.

240
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,203
But only the latter knew how
to chew without humming.

241
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:47,367
Listen, old timer, I'd like
you to meet Mason Fairbanks.

242
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:53,371
You! First you stole my wife and now
you're trying to steal my family!

243
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,442
Perhaps I couldn't
have stolen anyone

244
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,683
had you given them, uh,
what they needed.

245
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,923
I was busy telling young
people to get a haircut!

246
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,445
Mason, come see my room!

247
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,410
Homer, look what
this is doing to Grampa.

248
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:10,929
We have to settle this question once
and for all with a paternity test.

249
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,490
I'll take any test
you want.

250
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,848
Eye test, pap test,
memory test, memory test,

251
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,366
Vinny Testaverde,
Ferrari Testarossa.

252
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:19,930
Grampa, stop.
Never!

253
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,604
President's
Physical Fitness Test,

254
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,524
Sealtest ice cream,
Testors airplane glue.

255
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,688
Now, Homer,
I'll compare your sample

256
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,969
to the ones from Grampa
and Mister Fairbanks.

257
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,166
And then, bingo!

258
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,891
Who's your daddy
will become abundantly clear.

259
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,123
I've prepared a T-shirt for you
that covers either eventuality.

260
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,045
I have the results.

261
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,121
Oh, God.

262
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,170
Whatever happens, Abe,
I hope we can be civil.

263
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,605
Aw, poop in your fist!

264
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,802
At least I can make both.

265
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,566
Homer's biological father

266
00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,845
is Mason Fairbanks!

267
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,130
Who's Mason Fairbanks?
This guy.

268
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,201
Whoo-hoo!

269
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,045
See, Abe?
We're still visiting you

270
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,449
even though we have
no biological obligation.

271
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,887
You've said that
three times already.

272
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,968
Well, then you think
of something.

273
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,641
I guess Homer
couldn't make it, huh?

274
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,731
No. But he told us
to say "hi."

275
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,241
Hi.

276
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,730
So what setting
is that fan on?

277
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,731
Medium.

278
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,410
I would've guessed low.

279
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,684
You would've
guessed wrong.

280
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,001
Today I'm filled with joy.

281
00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,522
Searching for treasure
with my long lost son.

282
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:05,447
My dream for each of you is that you
find the happiness I feel today.

283
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,370
And my dream is to someday
wear a real wetsuit

284
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,488
instead of one that
is just painted on.

285
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,721
Missed a spot.

286
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,127
There we go.

287
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:24,482
These waters contain some of Mother
Nature's most stunning creatures.

288
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:33,331
That's what you get
for being luminous, jerks.

289
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,925
Homer, look!

290
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,447
The treasure
of Piso Mojado!

291
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,124
Hey, guys.
We found the treasure.

292
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,124
When I get to shore, I'm
bringing it right to the bar.

293
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,170
We'll see you soon, Homer. We
got somebody else coming in.

294
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,926
This is W-A-3-Q-I-Z.
Do you read me?

295
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,527
Seymour, isn't it about
time you made a real friend?

296
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,644
Mother, please. I'm communicating
with my fellow hams.

297
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,245
How do I talk? Push
this button here?

298
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,368
You're all losers!

299
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,443
Oh, which way
did Mason go?

300
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,522
That must be him over there.

301
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,404
What do I do?
What do I do?

302
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,720
Daddy... Daddy...

303
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,249
Daddy... Daddy...

304
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,922
Grab Daddy's keys.

305
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,205
Grab Daddy's keys.

306
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,730
I love that little guy.

307
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,040
What the heck...

308
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,482
I drew
this picture of you.

309
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,489
Aw, it's beautiful.

310
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:12,005
Homer, on your wedding day,
I want you to have this.

311
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,323
It may not be much.
But it's all I've got.

312
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,845
That is so sweet.

313
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,162
I gave you everything
and it still wasn't enough.

314
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,448
Daddy... Dad...

315
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,407
Dad, you've been in
a coma for three days.

316
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,767
They had to feed
you through a tube.

317
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,723
Oh, Homie, I always believed
you were gonna make it

318
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,849
no matter what that pushy
casket salesman said.

319
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,241
Well, Homer, now that
you're alive again,

320
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,527
I'll leave you
with your real family.

321
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,365
Wait. Can we have
a moment in private?

322
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,771
Of course.

323
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,928
As I lay dying on
the ocean floor,

324
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,367
I remembered everything
you've done for me.

325
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,363
To hell with
that stupid DNA test

326
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,411
and its 99.99997% accuracy.

327
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,608
You're my dad
and I love you.

328
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,569
I love you, too, Homer.

329
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,531
And now there's something
I've gotta tell you.

330
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,443
I really am your father.

331
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:21,927
But how?

332
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:27,046
After seeing how happy you
were with Horatio-Homewrecker,

333
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,525
I made a decision.

334
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,444
I switched the names
on the DNA samples.

335
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,244
Then I put my name first on
the fist for a new heart.

336
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,567
My old one's fine
but you never know.

337
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,211
Only a true father would
lead his son to believe

338
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,760
he belonged
to someone else.

339
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,401
Aw, Dad!

340
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,811
Oh, Homer.

341
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,042
Now why don't you
stay for dinner?

342
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,090
It would be
my pleasure, son.

343
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,571
Send up two hams.

344
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,291
Hey, this one's cold.

345
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,607
Listen, I wanted to ask you
if you could do something

346
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,682
my former father
never did for me.

347
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,000
Anything, son.

348
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,283
Teach me that the stove is hot.
Very well.

349
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,489
No, Homer.
Mustn't touch.

350
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,166
I said no, Homer.

351
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,203
All right, nap time!

352
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:38,124
But I'm not tired.