1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,381
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:07,465
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,593
D’oh!
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:11,678
(screams)
5
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,221
(tires screeching)
6
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,724
("Pop! Goes the Weasel"
playing)
7
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,975
(music stops)
8
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,143
(moans)
9
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,991
{\an8}(kids laughing
and chattering)
10
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,622
{\an8}Otto, Bart won’t
give me a seat.
11
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,374
{\an8}You know I can deal
with your problem
12
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,751
{\an8}or I can rock out.
13
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,502
{\an8}But I cannot do both.
14
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,550
{\an8}(singing to music):
♪ We’re an American band ♪
15
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,970
{\an8}♪ We’re an American band ♪
16
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,139
{\an8}♪ We’re comin’ to your town ♪
17
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,891
{\an8}♪ We’ll help you party down ♪
18
00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:01,186
{\an8}♪ We’re an American band... ♪
19
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,812
{\an8}(whines):
Otto, help me.
20
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,147
{\an8}(music stops)
21
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,027
{\an8}Fu-u-u-u... nk.
22
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,199
{\an8}(groans)
23
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:15,492
{\an8}(birds chirping)
24
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,701
{\an8}What am I hearing now?
25
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,286
{\an8}(gasps)
26
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,704
{\an8}Nature?
27
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,539
{\an8}The ultimate bring-down.
28
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,749
{\an8}Why...
(grunts)
29
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,292
{\an8}was I...
30
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,628
{\an8}born?!
31
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:27,670
BART:
Don’t worry, dude.
32
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,798
We’ll hook you up
with some tunes.
33
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,342
CHILDREN (singing):
♪ Old McDonald had a fart ♪
34
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,594
♪ Fart, fart, fart,
fart, fart ♪
35
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,679
♪ And on his fart
he had a fart ♪
36
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,556
♪ Fart, fart, fart,
fart, fart. ♪
37
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,766
That’s not a song.
38
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,893
{\an8}Real songs are about
deals with the devil,
39
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,645
{\an8}far-off lands,
40
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,855
{\an8}and where you’d find smoke
in relation to water.
41
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,398
{\an8}Mister driver?
42
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:50,276
{\an8}One of my bus mates
has purloined my French horn.
43
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,153
Why can’t you talk
like a dude?
44
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,738
{\an8}Oh, knock it off, Kearney.
45
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,073
{\an8}Why are you still in
this school anyway?
46
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,033
{\an8}We were in third
grade together.
47
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,702
{\an8}Stupid school
doesn’t know how to teach me.
48
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,330
{\an8}♪ The farts on the bus
go round and round... ♪
49
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:05,250
{\an8}(making farting sounds
to music)
50
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,877
{\an8}Oh, wow, this is
about 90% less funny
51
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,295
{\an8}than you think it is.
52
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,131
{\an8}-W-Wait... the radio.
-(farting)
53
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,715
{\an8}That’ll drown ’em out.
54
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,468
-(disco music playing)
-(groans) Disco?
55
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,554
-(gentle music plays)
-Easy listening.
56
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,681
{\an8}-(country music plays)
-Country Western?
57
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,683
{\an8}-(slow music plays)
-World music?
58
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,519
{\an8}-(R & B music plays)
-Urban smooth?
59
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,688
{\an8}-(jazzy salsa music plays)
-Salsa fusion?
60
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,398
{\an8}-(radio shuts off)
-(moans)
61
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,777
{\an8}(gasps):
Metallica?
62
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,154
{\an8}(tires skidding)
63
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,905
{\an8}Am I on drugs?
64
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,533
{\an8}Yes, you are,
but that really is Metallica.
65
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,076
{\an8}Now if you’ll excuse me,
66
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,287
{\an8}I’m late for a gumdrop parade
on Foo-Foo Island.
67
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,914
{\an8}(laughing)
68
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:45,915
{\an8}What’s up, Metallica?
69
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,375
{\an8}Need a lift?
70
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:49,419
{\an8}We don’t take rides
from strangers.
71
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,129
I’m no stranger.
Remember this?
72
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:54,507
Metallica ru-u-u...les!
73
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,218
Oh, yeah,
Springfield Arena, 1997,
74
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,804
Row XX, Seat 64.
75
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,764
I was about to quit the band
when I saw your lighter.
76
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,474
You saved me
that night.
77
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,101
So what are you
waiting for? Hop in.
78
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,436
(chuckles):
Hop in what?
79
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,812
(tires screeching)
80
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,439
Look at me, I’m Otto.
81
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:13,318
I’m a hundred years old,
and I drive a school bus.
82
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,320
(Bart laughing,
tires squealing)
83
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,113
Oh, man.
84
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,408
Maybe me and Metallica
can go splitsies on a cab.
85
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:22,410
(engine accelerating)
86
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:26,122
Hey, loser, we got a ride
from a real fan.
87
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,125
I used to sleep
with Lars’s grandmother.
88
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,586
Never listen to
our music again.
89
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:36,341
(playing
"Master of Puppets")
90
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:39,052
(music continues)
91
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,224
Bye-bye, take care,
92
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,184
watch your step,
eat my shorts,
93
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,227
have a good one.
94
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,230
She’s all yours, dude.
95
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,690
Oh, and I think
I ran over a moose.
96
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,487
This is for every bus driver,
97
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,655
-lunch lady,
-(Bart cries out)
98
00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,864
gym coach, hall monitor...
99
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,157
Otto.
100
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,451
Are you meting out
corporal punishment?
101
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,619
-Can’t... talk... now.
-(Bart cries out)
102
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:06,454
I’m spanking a child.
103
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,958
You are temporarily suspended
from bus driving, with pay.
104
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,334
No...!
105
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,169
Hand in your beaded
seat-cover.
106
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,547
And your gun.
107
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,094
MARGE:
I hope you’re happy, Bart.
Thanks to your hijinks,
108
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,222
I have to drive you and
your friends to school.
109
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,849
Let me drive.
I go through yellow lights.
110
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,559
One more crack out of you,
young man,
111
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,019
and I’m showing everyone
112
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,396
your baby pictures.
113
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:32,981
(Bart gasps)
114
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,399
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
115
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,610
Carpool!
116
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,320
I brought my own car seat.
117
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,780
Look.
118
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,407
(panting excitedly)
119
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,160
Hey, Lisa, my safety bar
matches your eyes.
120
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,954
(laughing)
121
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,458
Carpool, Nelson!
122
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,545
Just a sec, I’ve got to finish
my science project.
123
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,881
(squeaks, chitters angrily)
124
00:04:58,965 --> 00:04:59,882
(chitters)
125
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,384
Whoa.
126
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,970
"Squirrels don’t like rocks."
127
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,307
Okay, just one more
kid to pick up.
128
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,893
Ew, it’s Michael.
129
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,187
That weird kid who
never says anything.
130
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,606
He’s so gross and stupid.
131
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,983
BOTH: Hi, Michael.
Hi, Michael.
132
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,653
Hey, dork, you’re sittin’
on my shadow.
133
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,697
Sorry.
134
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,283
What, you’re too good
to sit on my shadow?
135
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,494
Aw, I forgot my math book.
136
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,955
No problem, I’ll just drive
up to your house and get it.
137
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,582
(tires squealing)
138
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,463
NELSON:
Whoa.
139
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:41,174
Your mother must dance
at the nicest strip club
in town.
140
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,180
Michael, my son.
141
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,724
Here is your book,
and never forget:
142
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,310
the divisor
goes into the dividend.
143
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,687
Yes, Papa.
144
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,773
BART:
That was Fat Tony.
145
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,733
Your dad’s a mob boss?
146
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,401
(nervous laughter)
147
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,861
Please don’t have me whacked.
148
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,404
I was just kidding around.
149
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,614
We were all having fun.
150
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,823
Wasn’t it fun?
151
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,408
(nervous laughter)
152
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,701
Oh, fun is so fun.
153
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,411
There is no Mafia.
154
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,205
Columbus Day
is better than Christmas.
155
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,626
(all chatting)
156
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,461
(kids gasp)
157
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,505
KIDS (whispering):
He’s Fat Tony’s son!
158
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:23,216
His dad kills people!
159
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:26,511
His daddy putted bullets
in my daddy.
160
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,055
My daddy had to potty
in a bag.
161
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,770
Ah, look at
all this puke!
162
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:38,022
Why did I come in
on my day off?
163
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,401
Oh, Fat Tony’s lad!
164
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:42,485
(grunts)
165
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:46,489
(grunts)
166
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:47,657
God bless you.
167
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:53,704
(playing slowly
and discordantly)
168
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,627
Oh, stop, stop!
169
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,547
Who’s the out-of-tune idiot
on third clarinet?
170
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:03,798
That’s me.
171
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,425
I p--you didn’t
let me finish!
172
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,760
I... from now on you’re
not third clarinet,
173
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,595
you’re first
everything!
174
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,347
Now if you excuse me,
I’m brewing tea
175
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,890
and I have to go jiggle
my bags!
176
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,234
You’re sitting
with me?
177
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,694
I’m not afraid of you.
178
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,695
Well, you shouldn’t be.
179
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,821
I’m not like my dad.
180
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:27,905
I understand.
181
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,366
I’m not like my dad either.
182
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,285
Oh.
183
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,539
(crunch)
184
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,083
Ew!
There’s a triple-A battery
185
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,252
in my macaroni and cheese!
186
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,379
It counts
as a vegetable.
187
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,423
I can’t eat this.
188
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,258
You know,
I cook a little.
189
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,010
Maybe I can make
you something.
190
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,970
All we need is some
fresh ingredients.
191
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,305
Well, you’re not going
to find any here.
192
00:07:55,850 --> 00:08:00,563
(wind howling, ghost screaming)
193
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,398
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
194
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,649
get in the bowl.
195
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,654
Dandelion greens,
a sprig of wild dill,
196
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,990
fresh blackberry
juice for dressing.
197
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,911
It’s delicious!
198
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,162
Are you just
saying that
199
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:17,455
’cause you’re
afraid of my dad?
200
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,123
No, it’s great!
201
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,791
Ooh! Except for the bee!
202
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,338
It’s good
to see you laughing!
203
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,425
(car screeches to a halt)
204
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,094
You could make
a great chef someday.
205
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,431
(sighs):
My dad wants me to go
into the family business.
206
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,266
Which is, uh...
207
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,893
"waste management."
208
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,189
(grimly):
We are going for a ride.
209
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,732
(all scream)
210
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,526
By which I mean the carpool.
211
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,735
Perhaps we will get yogurt.
212
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,654
(all sigh in relief)
213
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,782
(grimly):
Now who wants to sleep
with the fishes?
214
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,952
Because I brought
this Finding Nemo bedspread.
215
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:56,869
(sigh in relief)
216
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,751
FAT TONY:
The Calabresis!
217
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,087
My archenemies
in waste management!
218
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,006
♪ I woke up this morning ♪
219
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,635
♪ I got myself a gun. ♪
220
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,890
Milhouse, may I borrow
your three-ring binder?
221
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,269
"Garfield" or "Love Is?"
222
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,354
Uh, I prefer the cat.
223
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,564
He hates Mondays.
224
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,566
We can all relate.
225
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,243
(all sigh)
226
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,494
(blaring horn)
227
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,040
-Eh.
-Not that bad.
228
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:50,006
BART AND LISA:
Mom!
229
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,341
I apologize for
my tardiness.
230
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,428
I "ran into" some
old acquaintances.
231
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,389
On the surface, that sounds
perfectly pleasant.
232
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,683
Papa, can Lisa and her family
come over for dinner?
233
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,852
We’d love to!
234
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,104
You know,
I’ve never met your wife.
235
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:09,442
Sadly, my Anna Maria was whacked
by natural causes.
236
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,403
Oh, you’re a widower.
237
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,489
I bring flowers to her
grave every Sunday.
238
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,951
Ooh, flowers every week!
239
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,703
I wish I was dead.
240
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,996
(doorbell rings)
241
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,416
Welcome to my home.
242
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,500
(gasps)
243
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,669
Must have cost
a fortune.
244
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,297
Actually, you can really
keep costs down
245
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,549
when you don’t pay
for materials or labor...
246
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,592
or permits...
247
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,552
or land.
248
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,346
Wow, your paintings
have brush marks.
249
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:39,597
(gasps)
250
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,932
And your statues have wieners!
251
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,769
Your words honor
my family.
252
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,729
In the words
of the old country:
253
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,939
Mangiare, i miei amici!
254
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,901
(chuckles):
He’s talkin’ like the guy
in Fat Albert.
255
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,319
(imitating Mushmouth):
Howba areba youba?
256
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,613
Homer!
257
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,782
D’oh!
(imitating Mushmouth):
Whyba youba doba thatba?
258
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,121
Boss, the Calabresis are
here for the sit-down.
259
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,500
The sit-down’s tonight?!
260
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,922
Again this Palm Pilot
has failed to remind me.
261
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,758
I believe this needs to be
hot-synced.
262
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:18,844
What are you doing?
263
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,096
I thought you meant
264
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,389
"hot-sync" it.
265
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,308
You know how it is with us--
everything means kill.
266
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,894
Sit-down item
number one:
267
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:30,981
your recent murderous overtures
with regard to my person.
268
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,317
We meant no disrespect,
Fat Tony.
269
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,777
We were simply trying
to kill you.
270
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,821
When we saw you driving
that carpool,
271
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,740
we figured you’d gone soft,
and were therefore whackable.
272
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,909
You’d be fools to kill me
273
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,911
for my son, Michael,
would take my place.
274
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:47,206
And wreak a terrible vengeance.
275
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,833
I made soufflés!
276
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,293
(oohs and aahs)
277
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,506
I’ve tried to make those, but
they always end up as brownies.
278
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:58,884
You said you meant
to make brownies.
279
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,261
Any other lies?
280
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,805
(chewing loudly)
281
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,098
Mm...
282
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,143
Oh, this must be
what angels taste like!
283
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:10,521
Oh, Michael,
one bite of this soufflé
284
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:13,566
and your father will realize
your gift deserves to flower.
285
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,071
Why can’t you
do anything?
286
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,617
So, we are at
peace once more.
287
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,079
Let us indulge in exaggerated
displays of affection!
288
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,039
This guy, I love him!
289
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,082
Get over here!
290
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,834
My brother,
over here!
291
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,878
You’re my everything,
over here!
292
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,921
You color my
world, over here!
293
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,840
Over here.
Over here, over here.
294
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,763
Papa, I brought
you some dessert.
295
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,933
(all chewing loudly)
296
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,395
My God, this is like
a lap dance for my taste buds!
297
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,980
Ah, yeah!
298
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,857
The flavor
just drove my sweet tooth
299
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,567
to a vacant lot
and whacked it.
300
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:59,320
Hey, kid, what bakery
did you boost these from?
301
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,115
Well, actually,
I made them.
302
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,744
Papa, I want to be a chef.
303
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,287
(laughter)
304
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,873
A chef, huh?
305
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,124
Hey, look what
we got here.
306
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,793
It’s Chef
Boy-ar-gay!
307
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,669
What’s he gonna do
if we rub you out,
308
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,670
serve our soup cold?
309
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,631
(laughter)
310
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,050
Well,
gazpacho is served cold.
311
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,134
So take that.
312
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,260
(laughter)
313
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,224
Hey, Tony,
catch you later.
314
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,725
Your kid’s got a
bright future--
315
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,977
catering
your funeral.
316
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,312
You know what I like?
317
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:35,189
Those little
baby hot dogs.
318
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,358
Do they small down big ones
or do they make ’em different?
319
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,367
Michael, you have
made me appear weak
320
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,285
in the eyes of my enemies.
321
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,704
Fat Tony, it’s
not important
322
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,623
what other people
think of you.
323
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:56,252
What matters is how
you feel inside.
324
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,257
(screams, groans)
325
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,508
Papa!
326
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,352
♪♪
327
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,688
Your father’s gonna be
absolutely fine
328
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,147
in about three months.
329
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,817
But for now, he can’t talk,
write, or blink.
330
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,193
(laughs)
331
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,237
With Fat Tony
doing the morphine mambo,
332
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,573
the Calabresis are gonna try
to put him down for a dirt nap.
333
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,741
Dirt nap, eh?
334
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,784
Hmm...
335
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,452
(snoring)
336
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,164
Homer,
our house is on fire!
337
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,791
-Help me save the children!
-(kids screaming)
338
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,835
Sorry, Marge,
can’t hear you!
339
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,420
(laughing)
340
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,674
What am I gonna do now?
341
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,843
Kid, the only way you’re
gonna live to grow shprazoot
342
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,846
on your abonjoola is if
you take your dad’s place.
343
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,139
Let’s go.
344
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,099
Hey, can we go by
the Lexus place?
345
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,184
I want to test drive
that new hybrid.
346
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,854
You are a hybrid:
half idiot, half moron.
347
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:57,855
Whoa!
348
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,274
Where did that come from?
Whoa!
349
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,192
I don’t know
what to do.
350
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,445
This is all
my daughter’s fault.
351
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,030
But I’ll make it up to you.
352
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,657
Bart and I will run your
business till your dad’s okay.
353
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,493
Well, what do you know
about being a mob boss?
354
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,912
Everything!
355
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,415
And I learned it all
from the greatest
gangster film ever:
356
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,625
Shark Tale.
357
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,544
This guy in here
owes us money.
358
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,339
Leave him to me.
359
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,673
Ow!
360
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,967
I hurt my fist and my palm.
361
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,594
I thought you guys
were looking out for me.
362
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:29,595
Ow!
363
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,305
(sobbing)
364
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,683
All right, tap jockey,
365
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,768
you owe Fat Tony 50 bucks.
366
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:36,894
Cough it up!
367
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,896
Look, Mister,
I-I don’t got the cash.
368
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,814
My clientele--
they’re all bums.
369
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:41,732
They never pay!
370
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,566
(grunts)
371
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,818
Just get the money!
372
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,448
Homer, the mob is putting
the screws on me, see.
373
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:52,242
I ain’t getting killed
’cause you won’t pay your tab.
374
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,911
Now give me 50 bucks!
375
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,579
(whimpering):
Take it, take it!
376
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,123
Just don’t hurt me!
377
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,418
Okay, pretty boy, where’s
Fat Tony’s 50 bucks?
378
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,129
Look, all-all I got is 25.
379
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,631
I swear! I swear!
380
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,050
It’ll do for now!
381
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,639
(humming)
382
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,017
(laughs nervously)
383
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,269
Hey, hey,
it’s Fat Tony’s crew!
384
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,897
How’s the big guy doing?
385
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,149
I sent flowers, but you
probably didn’t get them.
386
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,609
You know florists.
(chuckles)
387
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,528
Glug, glug.
388
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:31,156
Krusty, Fat Tony hasn’t
received his weekly payment
389
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,867
for keeping McDonald’s
and Burger King out of town.
390
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,203
Well, I’m a little short
this week.
391
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,706
Could I just pay you $5
to keep out Hardee’s?
392
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:41,959
-(punches landing)
-KRUSTY: Ow!
393
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:44,003
My schnoz! My punim!
My pupik!
394
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,087
(punches landing)
395
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,630
My genechtagazoink!
396
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,589
(Krusty groans)
397
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,258
(horn honking)
398
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,886
Homer, where’d you get
that truck?
399
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,265
Uh, it-it fell off a truck.
400
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,225
Uh, you know, a truck-truck.
401
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,060
(horn honking)
402
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,603
(tires screeching)
403
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,188
Where’d you get that?
404
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,442
Eh, it fell off
a truck-truck truck.
405
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,944
(horn honking)
406
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:09,945
(brakes squeal)
407
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:17,077
MARGE:
Homer, Helen Lovejoy never
returned my casserole dish
408
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,078
from the church potluck.
409
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,163
Could you pick it up?
410
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,372
No problem.
411
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,291
I’ll be back in ten minutes.
412
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,376
Hi-diddily-ho, mob-areenos!
413
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,175
(sighs)
414
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,968
I, uh...
415
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,429
I got your, uh, phone bill
in my mail by mistake,
416
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,306
and, uh...
417
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,184
I-I’ll just pay it.
418
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,727
(laughs)
419
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,104
(both laughing)
420
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,814
Dad, you want I should
plug him in the ankle?
421
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,066
You monster!
422
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,568
Just cut his Achilles tendon
with this knife.
423
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,654
(both laughing)
424
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,034
(both laughing)
425
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,705
(both laughing)
426
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,792
Bart, Mr. Simpson,
427
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,960
we are getting out of
the mob business, right now.
428
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,046
But this is
the only life I know!
429
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,589
I’m sorry.
430
00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,549
I just can’t live with myself,
seeing you this way.
431
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,677
-Can I still talk with my hands?
-I’m afraid not.
432
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,763
-What about with my ears?
-No.
433
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,098
(groans softly)
434
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,102
My friends,
I surrender.
435
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,938
I’m handing over
all my father’s territory,
436
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,982
in exchange for the safety
of my family and the Simpsons.
437
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,359
Sorry.
438
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,985
We can only guarantee
we won’t hurt them.
439
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,529
Yeah.
440
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,364
You know, they’ve still got
to eat right and exercise.
441
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,407
Walk the dog
once in a while.
442
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:38,909
He’s a furry little
fitness machine.
443
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,160
Well said.
444
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,246
As for me, from now on,
445
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,248
my only business is cooking.
446
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,378
You did the right thing, Mikey.
447
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,755
You weren’t cut out
to be a wise guy.
448
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:55,092
But you, you got
a future in this business.
449
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,593
Call me.
450
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,971
Thanks, but I’m going
into bootleg DVDs.
451
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,681
(chuckling)
452
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,310
It’s so great that Michael’s
doing what he loves.
453
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,354
And I can stop
looking the other way
454
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,856
from what my husband’s doing.
455
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,232
Lady.
456
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,191
Man.
457
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,401
Lady.
458
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,777
Man.
459
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,154
(leeringly):
Lady.
460
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,780
(sighs)
461
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,368
(all grunting and choking)
462
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,870
(men groaning)
463
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:27,875
I want to be buried
next to my wife,
464
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,793
under that bridge in Jersey.
465
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,337
(sniffs, gasps)
466
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,590
Someone poisoned
these meatballs.
467
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,049
Homer?
468
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,802
Hey, if I poisoned them,
would I be doing this?
469
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,516
(groans)
470
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,603
This is a chef’s
worst nightmare.
471
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,354
I won’t be using
this recipe anymore.
472
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:02,784
Well done, my son.
473
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,745
In making peace
with our enemies,
474
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,247
you were able
to take them down.
475
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,834
Perhaps you and I are not
so different after all.
476
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,003
Papa, I’m just
glad you’re okay.
477
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,338
Now get some rest.
478
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,593
Why didn’t you tell him
it was an accident?
479
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,303
It was an accident, right?
480
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,930
Michael?
481
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,724
Don’t ever ask me
about my business, Lisa.
482
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,018
Michael?
483
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,158
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
484
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,333
MICHAEL:
Vroom! Vroom!
485
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,085
(continues making
engine noises)
486
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,219
{\an8}♪♪
487
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,805
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA
488
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,097
Shh!
489
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,561
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem