1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,381
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:07,799
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,051
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:11,553
(screams)
5
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:12,804
(tires screeching)
6
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,976
(Marge shrieks)
7
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,525
-(rapid gunfire)
-(whimpering, shrieking)
8
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,412
{\an8}(organ plays softly)
9
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,252
(sobbing, sniffling)
10
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,924
So, how did
Malt Liquor Mommy die?
11
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,052
Stop calling her that.
12
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,470
I'll tell you
how she died.
13
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,721
You know that sign that says
14
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,222
"Do not stand up
on the roller coaster"?
15
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-Yeah.
-She overdosed
right in front of it.
16
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,935
{\an8}Oh. Class all the way.
17
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,104
{\an8}Marge, could
you let it go?
18
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,522
{\an8}You won. She's dead.
19
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,482
{\an8}Mm-hmm.
20
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{\an8}We are here
to mourn the tragic loss
21
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,904
{\an8}of Amber Pai Gow Simpson,
a gifted cocktail waitress
22
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{\an8}who hoped one day
to learn computers.
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(chuckling)
24
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{\an8}Amber said she wouldn't let
her eighth-grade education
25
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{\an8}stop her from
achieving her dreams.
26
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{\an8}And yet, it did.
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{\an8}Bart! Do you want
28
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{\an8}to leave the funeral
early?! Do you?!
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{\an8}Yes. Of course.
30
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{\an8}CARL:
"You were Homer's wife
31
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{\an8}for a two-day spurt
32
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{\an8}Your name was Amber,
just like the alert..."
33
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{\an8}(paddleball caroms)
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{\an8}MARGE:
Bart, put that away!
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{\an8}Thanks a lot.
I lost my place.
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{\an8}Um... Ah, here it is.
"The End."
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(scoffs)
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(growling)
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-Uh-oh.
-(glass crackling)
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(choking)
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(gasping)
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{\an8}Everyone relax, huh?
I know the Heimlich.
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{\an8}I learned it
a few years ago.
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{\an8}It was 1997,
45
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,040
{\an8}and Titanic was proving
unsinkable at the box office...
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(choking)
47
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(loud choking)
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Somebody do me!
49
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,131
(choking)
50
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(grunting)
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00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,801
Whew!
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(gasps)
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(all choking)
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(grunting, coughing)
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(laughing)
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Your son is
out of control!
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You've raised
a savage beast!
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00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,279
Yeah! Put a leash
on him, lady!
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Oh...
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{\an8}First, let me assure you
that Bart's antics
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{\an8}are perfectly normal
for a seven-year-old.
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{\an8}Actually, he's ten.
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{\an8}Oh, dear.
Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
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00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,877
{\an8}Spare us your
medical mumbo jumbo.
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{\an8}Just give us the pills.
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00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,922
{\an8}Clear-cut his brain
down to the nub.
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{\an8}Mr. Simpson,
it would be easy for me
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00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,676
{\an8}to pour drugs
down your son's throat...
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00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,386
{\an8}Thank you,
Doctor. Marge?
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00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,972
{\an8}But for Bart,
I'm going to prescribe
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00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,891
{\an8}a more unorthodox treatment.
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00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:08,938
{\an8}Cymbals... snare...
high hat... tom-tom...
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00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,440
{\an8}sticks, mallet and brushes.
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{\an8}This is a drum kit!
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00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,818
{\an8}Drumming demands energy
and concentration,
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{\an8}one of which Bart has,
and one of which Bart needs.
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{\an8}(skillful drum playing)
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{\an8}Homie, look.
He's enjoying it.
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00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,460
{\an8}(syncopated annoyed
grunts, D-oh's)
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I've never seen
him happier.
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00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,595
(drumming to
"The Hardest Button to Button")
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(drumming to song continues)
83
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:55,860
Whoa! Trippy!
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(drumming to song continues)
85
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♪ We started living
in an old house ♪
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♪ My ma gave birth,
and we were checking it out ♪
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♪ It was a baby boy
so we bought him a toy... ♪
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(clattering, song stops)
89
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,928
Hey, kid, why don't
you watch where
you're drumming?!
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00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,555
Sorry, White Stripes.
No hard feelings?
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Let's kick his ass!
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(song resumes)
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(drumming)
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(screaming)
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(skillful drumming)
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00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,671
Oh! Why couldn't
he give up this
97
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,881
like he gives up
everything else?
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00:04:58,965 --> 00:04:59,841
I know!
99
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,467
I'll use that
white-noise machine
100
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,428
I got you
when your father died.
101
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,138
(crashing waves)
102
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:09,392
(shouting):
Transport yourself to the shores
of Nova Scotia,
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00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,145
where cod and halibut
frolic in...!
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00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:14,564
He's just drumming louder!
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00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,983
So it's a noise war
he wants, huh?!
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00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:20,028
Then I'll throw in some
rush-hour traffic!
107
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,404
(screeching tires,
horns honking)
108
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And a circus fire!
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(people screaming
animals roaring)
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(shouting):
Sleep tight, my angel!
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Oh...
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What?!
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(shouting): Oh!
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Oh! Let me know...
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when and if
you want sex, honey!
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(drumming, traffic,
animal noise continues)
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(drumming continues)
118
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Oh, he's gotta fall asleep
sometime, doesn't he?
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(drumming)
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(despairing moans)
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You guys
need a break.
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Why don't I take Bart with me
123
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to the children's bebop brunch
at Jazzy Goodtime's?
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,781
Is it in
a safe neighborhood?
125
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-(drumming louder)
-Just make it happen!
126
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,577
Boy, get dressed!
127
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,120
You're going
to a jazz brunch
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00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,581
as punishment for all
the racket you're making!
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00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,291
I thought you wanted me
to drum.
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00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,711
I'm sending you
mixed messages.
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Now, get the hell
outta here.
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I love you so much.
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Damn you!
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(blows kiss)
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(playing jazz tune)
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(applauding)
137
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What it is, hepcats?
138
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,117
You want me to
scat-sing the menu?
139
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,368
Absolutely not.
140
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,453
Oh, God bless you, sir.
141
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,622
Hey, Bart, you want
to jam with me?
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00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,624
Okay. If you give
me your omelet.
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00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:59,085
Whoo-hoo!
I'm a professional musician!
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(playing "Take Five")
145
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♪♪
146
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Not bad for
a newbie, Bart!
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00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,443
You just may be
the second-best
player up here.
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00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:27,238
In case you're wondering
who the best one is, it's me.
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00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:32,076
Ah! Crazy man, crazy!
Oh, yeah!
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00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,828
(rattling)
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(indistinct talking)
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(gasps)
153
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They're looking at me!
154
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:46,215
All right, Lisa, time to show
these jazz legends
155
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how we swing in the suburbs.
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(wailing on sax)
157
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That's a wrap, kids.
158
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,018
Now go have
some Jazzy Bread.
159
00:07:57,101 --> 00:08:00,480
(whispering):
That's bread that fell
on the floor.
160
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,439
-Mhmm.
-MAN: Excuse me.
161
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,523
Are you Lisa Simpson?
162
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,193
(gasps):
Yes, I am.
163
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,905
I'm, uh,
Defonzo "Skinny" Palmer.
164
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,866
This is Marcus
"Marbles" Le Marquez.
165
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,451
Pleased to meet you.
166
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,994
We were about
to play a quick set,
167
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,163
-and we were
wondering if you...
-Yes?
168
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,456
-Lisa Simpson...
-Yes?
169
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,416
-would do us the honor...
-Yes!
170
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,959
-of sitting in...
-(gasps)
171
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,212
that chair in the audience.
172
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,588
We wanna jam
with your brother.
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00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,798
(shocked gasp)
174
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,514
(playing upbeat jazzy tune)
175
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,532
♪♪
176
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,374
Look! Bart's onstage.
177
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,001
And he's contributing
to the entertainment!
178
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,294
(cheers, applause)
179
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,255
Yeah!
180
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,050
I was jamming
with Skinny Turner
181
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,385
and Marbles Le Marquez!
182
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,428
And they want me
to join their trio!
183
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,346
Whoo-hoo! What's next?
184
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,431
A contract with
Groove-tone Records?
185
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,226
Take the G-train, baby.
Groove-tone!
186
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,063
(grumbling):
Oh, I can't believe it.
187
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,731
Stupid brother...
188
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,276
Lisa, why aren't you
smiling with us?
189
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,904
'Cause I've wanted to jam with
jazz musicians all my life.
190
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:35,074
How would Bart like it if I
just hopped on his skateboard
191
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,993
and instantly became great?
192
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,205
Ah... whoa...
193
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,833
(yells)
194
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,212
Mild! Mild! Mild!
Mild! Mild!
195
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,174
(grunts)
196
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,509
(groans)
197
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,178
Lisa, you've got
to be more careful.
198
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,431
I need you to teach me
all about the world of juzz.
199
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,517
It's jazz! Jazz!
200
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,602
(sobbing)
201
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,062
You don't even know
the name of the thing
202
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,939
you are stealing from me.
203
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,774
(chuckles):
Bart, you're so steady
204
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,985
on those skins,
we're gonna call you "Tic Tock."
205
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:14,113
Oh-- I always
wanted a jazz nickname.
206
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,197
Fine.
We'll call you, uh...
207
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,407
Downbeat.
208
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,867
'Cause
you're bringin' us down.
209
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:21,537
(groans):
That is the most unfair...
210
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,747
Downbeat, Downbeat,
please.
211
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,165
We're shootin' the breeze
with Tic Tock.
212
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,960
Oh, man, I am so juzzed.
213
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,343
Bart, a rising star like
you needs a manager,
214
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,427
and Gil's your guy!
215
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,971
Oh, I'm a jazz daddy
from way back.
216
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,223
With the skit-skat
skittily boom-de-boom,
217
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,516
and the ding-dong daddy...
218
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,810
Is that jazz?
That's jazz, right?
219
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,772
Cha-cha-cha
with the curly fries.
220
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:50,941
Hey!
221
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,694
Oh, son.
222
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:58,032
I like you more, now that
other people like you.
223
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,493
It's mergatronic, Daddy-Ho.
224
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,161
Bart, does that
even mean anything?
225
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,246
Xavier Cugat!
226
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,583
(plays drum flourishes)
227
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,335
(crowd applauding)
228
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:15,049
Bossie, the music business would
chew you up and spit you out.
229
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,260
You just keep your eyes
on the prize, girl.
230
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,970
(chainsaws whirring)
231
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,347
(suspicious moo)
232
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,765
Mom, I'm gonna lose it.
233
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,518
Bart's on the cover of both
local jazz magazines:
234
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,937
{\an8}"Blowin'"
and "The Sugar Sheet".
235
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:31,107
Here's the only thing I've
been on the cover of.
236
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,529
(sobbing)
237
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,615
Mm, look, uh, how 'bout
we go to the pound,
238
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,076
and get a puppy
just for you?
239
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,244
(stops sobbing)
240
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,871
That might work.
241
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,415
(dogs barking)
242
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,458
Oh, they're all so cute.
243
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,876
Yeah, you know
what's even cuter?
244
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,545
Picking one without
talking to me.
245
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,880
Well, I kind of like this guy.
246
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,466
(barks weakly)
247
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,344
(coughing)
248
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,097
Oh, but this one is precious!
249
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,098
(panting)
250
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:05,558
(hacking)
251
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,435
(yipping playfully)
252
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,228
(hacking)
253
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,438
(yipping)
254
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,315
Okay, this little guy's
coming home with me.
255
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,402
Who's gonna get neutered
tomorrow?
256
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,654
You are! Oh, yes you are.
257
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,825
(eerie tones playing)
258
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,788
Lisa Simpson...
you doomed me.
259
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,582
(gasps):
I did? How?
260
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,500
By choosing the cuter puppy.
261
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,502
You picked looks over
personality,
262
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,087
youth over experience,
263
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:38,340
no history of rabies over
unknown rabies status.
264
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,342
And now I'm going to die.
265
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,802
I never wanted
that to happen!
266
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:45,055
(ghostly):
You suuuuuck! You suuuuuck!
267
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,932
(scratching)
268
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,560
Ah, thanks, sweetie.
269
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,479
You suuuuuck!
270
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,355
Well, if you want him,
you can have him.
271
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,651
And if you
get tired of him...
272
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,028
I won't get tired of him.
273
00:12:59,111 --> 00:12:59,904
It's just too bad
274
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,447
you can't take ol'
Smiley here.
275
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,907
(whimpers)
276
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,826
Yeah, he'll be in God's
Dumpster tomorrow.
277
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,245
I'll take him, too.
278
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,456
And I'm gonna put
ol' Henry here to sleep...
279
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,958
because he knows
my darkest secret:
280
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,419
I like putting
animals to sleep.
281
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,545
(sighs)
282
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,255
I'll take him, too.
283
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:22,176
("Little Green Bag" plays)
284
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,938
♪ Yeah... ♪
285
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:41,237
♪ Lookin' back on the track
for a little green bag ♪
286
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,699
♪ Got to find just the kind
or losin' my mind ♪
287
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:50,621
♪ Out of sight in the night,
out of sight in the day ♪
288
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:54,500
♪ Lookin' back on the track,
gonna do it my way ♪
289
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,419
(musical interlude plays)
290
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,559
(song fades)
291
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,977
Okay, guys.
292
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:16,355
No one knows you're here,
so be quiet.
293
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:17,690
And if you get hungry,
294
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:21,360
there are rats living in
the Christmas decorations.
295
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,444
{\an8}(squeaking)
296
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,075
And then today at lunch,
297
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:31,370
Lenny and I went to the park
and rented a rowboat.
298
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,705
Carl sketched us
from the bank.
299
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,164
Summer days...
300
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,877
(growling, shrieking,
trumpeting, barking)
301
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,086
What are
those noises?
302
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,046
They sounded
zoological.
303
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:45,718
(shrieking,
trumpeting, growling)
304
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,136
Shut up!
305
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,554
(gasps):
I just said "shut up."
306
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,307
I'll punish myself
by going upstairs.
307
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,895
Bart!
What are you doing here?
308
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,314
Uh... not smoking reefer.
309
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,398
Uh, that's right.
310
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,191
We all not
smoking reefer.
311
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,405
(growling, yelling)
312
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,364
(screams)
313
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,074
No, Buttercup! No!
314
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,659
(yells):
My arm!
315
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,912
It hurts where
the tiger's biting it!
316
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:13,996
(gasps)
317
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,254
Bart, that was
a nasty bite you got.
318
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,966
You'll recover...
but you'll never drum again.
319
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,967
Says you.
320
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,511
(moans)
321
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,806
I was a great drummer,
and now I'm nothing,
322
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,350
just like Phil Collins.
323
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,893
I feel so terrible.
324
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,895
I just wanted
to save those animals
325
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,730
while Bart
became a drummer,
326
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:43,692
but I never thought the two
stories would intersect.
327
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,820
And what about my new job
as a Mexican wrestler?
328
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,239
Beware of Taco Belly. Whoo!
329
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,658
Eat your heart...
330
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,078
(gasps)
No mas! No mas!
331
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,413
(elephant trumpets)
332
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,169
Uh, yes, I would like a bird
333
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,964
because I'm often
lonely in the lab.
334
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,340
(moans)
335
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,800
Birds help.
336
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,885
See, Lisa.
337
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:10,719
We're making progress.
338
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:11,720
(gun cocking)
339
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,305
Drop the marsupial!
340
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,141
If those animals aren't gone
by midnight tomorrow,
341
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,644
Animal Control is
gonna round 'em all up.
342
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,605
And kill 'em.
343
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,442
(engine struggling)
344
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,527
(sighs)
345
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,946
Can I, uh, can I
borrow that ostrich?
346
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,030
Sure.
347
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,369
How cool is this?
348
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,495
(laughs)
349
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,789
I guess that's it.
350
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:40,916
These animals
are all gonna die.
351
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,210
Not if I can
help it, Lisa.
352
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,420
Do you have an idea?
353
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,423
Uh, no. Sorry if it
sounded like I did.
354
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,590
(jazz playing)
355
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,804
Hey, guys,
great news.
356
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,181
I can drum again.
357
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,275
Sorry, Tic Tock.
358
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,986
Your tick is on...
but your tock is gone.
359
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,822
Well, I've got
a confession to make.
360
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,825
This right arm...
it's not mine.
361
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:15,909
Whose is it?
362
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,161
I don't know.
363
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,416
Tic Tock, maybe you
could get yourself
364
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:25,836
some of that sweet, sweet...
what do you call it?
365
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,087
Arthroscopic
micro-surgery
366
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,089
to reattach
the ulnar nerve?
367
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,382
Yeah, that's
the jingle.
368
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,052
The doctor did say
surgery might help,
369
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,929
but it costs $78,000.
370
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:36,972
Well, I bet we
could raise it
371
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,850
with a benefit
concert. Huh? Huh?
372
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:40,684
Outta sight!
373
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:41,518
In the pocket!
374
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,437
Groovay, groovay!
375
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,521
Now, you boys know
376
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,606
you don't have
the follow-through
377
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:46,732
to put something
like that together.
378
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,025
Somethin' like what together?
379
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,068
A benefit concert!
380
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,402
Benefit concert!?
381
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,570
Outta sight!
382
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,738
In the pocket!
383
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,115
Groovay, groovay!
384
00:17:56,325 --> 00:18:00,913
Oh, this benefit concert
is gonna be Scooby Dooby.
385
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:03,665
I'm very happy for you, Bart.
386
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,750
(sighs)
387
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,001
Why are you sad?
388
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,211
Thinking about your marriage?
389
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,047
If we can't find
a home for those animals,
390
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,715
they'll be put to sleep.
391
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,842
Your sister's very upset.
392
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,011
Oh... I feel weird.
393
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,055
It's like a potato
chip full of shame,
394
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,681
going down
my throat sideways.
395
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,392
Honey, what you're feeling
is called "empathy."
396
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,603
Oh... now I'm gonna
learn a new word.
397
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,397
"Empathy" means
you're looking at Lisa
398
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,192
and feeling what she feels.
399
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,153
Your sister poured her heart
into rescuing those animals
400
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,907
to forget the pain of
being upstaged in jazz,
401
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,909
and now...
402
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,120
(moaning)
403
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,454
How can I end this torture?!
404
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,165
You could do
something nice for Lisa.
405
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,042
(agonized moan)
406
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,043
You're my mother.
407
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,461
How can you say that?
408
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,505
(moaning)
409
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:56,927
(drums playing)
410
00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,013
(playing jazz tune)
411
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,732
(cheering)
412
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,278
Hey, hey! We got more jazz
superstars on the way, folks!
413
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:17,531
Gooey Martin, Willie Mimms,
Drop Jaws Turner,
414
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:21,201
Sketch Friendly, Tootsie
Childs, Sammy Biltmore,
415
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:25,247
No-Talent Jones,
Anwar Benitez, Bossy Marmalade,
416
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,499
Bad-Check Mazursky,
Ray-Ray Takamura,
417
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,711
Shaky Premise,
Bootsy Croutonne, Richard Sakai,
418
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:35,132
The Pre-Marital Sextet,
C.S.I. Miami, D.W. Jitters
419
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,301
The Chubb Group,
Cantaloupe St. Pierre,
420
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,053
and many, many, more
funny names!
421
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,305
(laughs)
422
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:44,725
And it's all to fix
this very talented arm.
423
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:45,559
Ow!
424
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,269
Oh, right,
the nerve damage.
425
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,437
Here's
the benefit money,
426
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,814
Now I'm gonna go vomit
to keep my weight down.
427
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,775
That's right.
That's how Krusty does it.
428
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,029
(feeble laugh)
429
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,366
I wanna thank everyone
for this special night.
430
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,785
Jazz folk may have
the smallest apartments,
431
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,163
but they also have
the biggest hearts.
432
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,248
(cheering)
433
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:12,127
But the biggest heart I know
is in my sister Lisa.
434
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,088
(audience gasps)
435
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,131
WOMAN:
What about me...
436
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,258
...Tootsie Childs?
437
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,426
Lis, you poured your heart
438
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:23,430
into rescuing society's most
vulnerable critters-- animals.
439
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,016
So I want all the money
we've raised tonight
440
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,184
to go to building...
441
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,686
The Lisa Simpson Home
for Abandoned Animals!
442
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:30,854
(gasping)
443
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:40,739
Oh, Bart, thank you
so, so much!
444
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,159
(cheering)
445
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,911
You know
what we should do?
446
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,162
Hold a benefit concert.
447
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,830
Outta sight!
448
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:49,915
In the pocket!
449
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,251
Groovay, groovay!
450
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,169
Hey, am I still married
to your sister?
451
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,671
Naw, she died.
452
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,799
♪♪
453
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:42,634
Shh!
454
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,223
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem