1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
(beeping)
2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,721
KIEFER SUTHERLAND:
Previously on 24...
3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,806
I mean The Simpsons:
4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,392
Behold... our new
state-of-the-art weapon
5
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,436
in the global war
against misbehavior.
6
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,146
CTU...
7
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,939
-the Counter Truancy Unit!
-(kids gasp)
8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,774
(moaning)
9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,234
-(screams)
-(Nelson laughing)
10
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,235
(whimpers)
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,530
I’ve got something!
12
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:34,993
The sixth-grade
security camera
13
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,619
shows three
empty desks.
14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,704
Enhance!
15
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,541
Dehance!
Dehance!
16
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I ran the attendance
protocols.
17
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,131
Here are your three
missing students:
18
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,716
Hmm.
19
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:51,634
Good work, Database.
20
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,094
MARTIN/MILHOUSE:
We helped.
21
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,059
(alarm blaring)
22
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(siren wailing)
23
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(shouting)
24
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(amplified breathing)
25
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,152
(ticking)
26
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,157
Whoa.
27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,950
-This is the source
of the stench.
-Hey.
28
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,952
Get your own yogurt.
29
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:21,372
Vile curd.
30
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Simpson, you can take your
putrid mess
31
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,796
far out of my sight,
you song-less land whale.
32
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Whoo-hoo!
33
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,423
Business trip!
34
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,259
(laughing)
35
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,764
(kids laughing)
36
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Simpson!
37
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,726
I’ll teach you
to make a Poupon "me."
38
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,478
(raucous laughter)
39
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,355
(grunts)
40
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(shoes squeaking)
41
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:03,832
(groans)
42
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,127
(humming)
43
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,504
If someone did eat
Bart’s shorts,
44
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:12,549
they’d have a tummy full
of pocket garbage.
45
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,051
Hmm.
46
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,261
Mm.
47
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,263
Hmm.
48
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,016
(gasps)
49
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,394
The school’s having
a bake sale today?!
50
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At 3:00?!
51
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,149
I promised them a cake.
52
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I’ve only got 27 minutes.
53
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,861
The pre-heat is on.
54
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SUTHERLAND:
Or maybe it’s a.m.
55
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,004
Whichever one is the morning
one, it’s not that one.
56
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,554
{\an8}Apu, I’m returning
a yogurt
57
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,306
{\an8}I wasn’t a hundred percent
satisfied with.
58
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,600
{\an8}Mmm?
59
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,685
{\an8}Ooh. Oh my God!
60
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,396
{\an8}If a dead fish and a homeless
person had a baby,
61
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,773
{\an8}and the baby puked,
and a dog ate the puke,
62
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,942
{\an8}this smells like the rear end
of that dog!
63
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,152
{\an8}I’ll give you any
yogurt in the store,
64
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,613
{\an8}just take that thing
with you when you go!
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{\an8}(chuckling)
66
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,952
{\an8}JIMBO:
Let’s spit
in the coffee pots.
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00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,454
{\an8}DOLPH:
I call hazelnut.
68
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,581
{\an8}Truants moving
into the Kwik-E-Mart.
69
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,124
{\an8}I’ve got a visual.
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00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,212
{\an8}(sniffing)
71
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,421
{\an8}Ugh!
72
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,465
{\an8}That yogurt is toxic.
73
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,217
{\an8}It’s just what
we’ve been looking for.
74
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,934
{\an8}Now this crossword’s nothin’
but swears.
75
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,143
{\an8}(gasps)
76
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,895
{\an8}We’ve got what
we need.
77
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:49,812
{\an8}Milhouse, bring them in.
78
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,024
{\an8}Roger that.
79
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}And Lisa,
if I don’t make it back,
80
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,403
{\an8}there’s a letter in my locker
I want you to read.
81
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,780
{\an8}I already read it.
82
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,615
{\an8}We’ve all read it.
83
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,867
{\an8}Wait, Milhouse,
hold your position.
84
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,202
{\an8}Something
doesn’t add up.
85
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,204
{\an8}Look what the bullies
could have stolen...
86
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,415
{\an8}Big Chief Rotten Cheeks
Chewing Tobacco...
87
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,293
{\an8}a take-a-penny tray
with a quarter in it.
88
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,796
{\an8}So why steal the yogurt?
89
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,839
{\an8}We have to find out
what they’re up to.
90
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:17,924
{\an8}Hmm... Milhouse,
91
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:18,925
{\an8}change of plan--
92
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,177
{\an8}observe and follow.
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,971
{\an8}Permission to buy
a Hostess fruit pie
94
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,305
{\an8}to keep
my strength up?
95
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,473
{\an8}Denied.
96
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,938
{\an8}Hey Milhouse,
who are you spying on?
97
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:34,190
{\an8}-Those bullies?
-Huh?
98
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,358
{\an8}(screaming)
99
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,655
{\an8}What about the fat guy?
100
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:41,990
{\an8}Hey, lay off.
101
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,700
{\an8}You’re the fat one
of you guys!
102
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,576
{\an8}I’m bulking up
for football!
103
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,287
{\an8}(Homer whimpering)
104
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,122
{\an8}HOMER:
I’m still alive.
105
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,707
{\an8}You call that playing
to win?
106
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,795
{\an8}(Milhouse and Homer screaming)
107
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,424
{\an8}(Homer giggling)
108
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,967
{\an8}HOMER:
Ooh.
109
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,261
{\an8}MILHOUSE:
Mr. Simpson,
I’m scared.
110
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,054
{\an8}HOMER:
This is our life
now, Milhouse.
111
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,764
We’re Dumpster folk.
112
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,890
{\an8}(static bursting)
113
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,225
{\an8}I’ve lost Milhouse.
114
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,978
{\an8}He’ll be somewhat missed.
115
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,772
{\an8}Who do we send now?
116
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{\an8}(moaning, whimpering)
117
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,776
{\an8}Principal Skinner,
118
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{\an8}you know we have
only one agent
119
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,655
{\an8}who stands a chance
with those bullies.
120
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,282
(sighs)
My brother.
121
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,955
Lord, give me guidance.
122
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,041
{\an8}That’s right, the Guidance
Department-- Detention Room.
123
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,083
{\an8}Thank you, Mrs. Lord.
124
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:43,634
{\an8}(grunting angrily)
125
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,722
{\an8}Hmm?
126
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,848
(grunting)
127
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,975
{\an8}All out?
128
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,020
{\an8}I can’t make my famous raisin
sponge-cake without raisins.
129
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,855
Kids love the zing of raisins!
130
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,240
If I help you,
I want full immunity
131
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,284
for all pranks past
and future,
132
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and you have to teach me
a swear word
133
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I don’t already know.
134
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No deal.
135
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,458
Okay, suit yourself.
136
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,044
{\an8}It’s not like you have any
major events coming up
137
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,504
{\an8}that the bullies would want
to disrupt.
138
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,755
(gasps)
139
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,507
The bake sale!
140
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,425
{\an8}Principal Skinner,
as we both know,
141
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,219
{\an8}but you might need
reminding,
142
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:30,098
{\an8}the annual bake sale provides
90% of the school’s funding.
143
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,683
Okay, you
have a deal,
144
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,102
you conniving
little...
145
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,062
-(whispering)
-(gasps)
146
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,064
Wow, that’s a swear?
147
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,399
Used as a noun it is.
148
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,691
Sweet!
149
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,943
Now I’m going to need
some wheels.
150
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,319
{\an8}Yes, of course.
151
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,154
{\an8}I think we can wrangle you
a used bicycle.
152
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,239
{\an8}Do you prefer Schwinn or Huffy?
153
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,032
{\an8}Bart? Where did he...?
154
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,575
(gasps)
My car keys!
155
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:50,576
(engine starting)
156
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,120
{\an8}(tires squealing)
157
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,163
Road kill, burnt hair,
158
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,748
my sister’s retainer case,
159
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,543
six weeks of bottled farts,
possum placenta,
160
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,753
sweat from a walk-around
Goofy suit.
161
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,631
And finally, T.C.B.Y.--
162
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:07,009
that container
of botulized yogurt.
163
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,137
Okay, everyone, masks on.
164
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,640
(grunts)
165
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,187
(liquid gurgling, hissing)
166
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,400
{\an8}Gentlemen, we’ve created
the mother of all stink bombs.
167
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,402
{\an8}(laughter)
168
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,237
{\an8}Most satisfactory.
169
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,697
(door squeaks open)
170
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,365
{\an8}Jimbo, sweetie, I have
to run to the bank.
171
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,033
{\an8}Are you boys going
to be okay alone?
172
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,535
{\an8}Put a top on, Mom!
173
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,829
{\an8}Everyone’s seen
your implants.
174
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:35,955
But the doctor said
the air will help them...
175
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,165
Just go!
176
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,458
(door closes)
177
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,377
Lookin’ good,
Carol!
178
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,712
(squeaking)
179
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,713
(hissing)
180
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,094
(sniffing, liquid hissing)
181
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,054
(squeals)
182
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,391
(beeping)
183
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,440
(both grunting)
184
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,234
I saw it first!
185
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,444
You are such
a liar!
186
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,570
(grunting
continues)
187
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,280
(train whistle blowing)
188
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,365
You give
that to me!
189
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,996
(methodic beeping)
190
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,003
(train whistling blowing,
train chugging)
191
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,632
(crashing)
192
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,968
(train whistle blowing)
193
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,597
(liquid hissing)
194
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,682
(sniffing)
195
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,434
Must... escape.
196
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,686
(wheel squeaking)
197
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,398
(whimpers)
198
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,816
Springfield
Elementary is about
199
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,487
to be Stinkfield
Elementary.
200
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,618
Lisa, they’re going to put
a stink bomb in the school.
201
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,161
I might be able
to stop them,
202
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,580
but I’ll need a schematic
of Jimbo’s house.
203
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:03,000
Jimbo drew a couple of pictures
of his house in second grade,
204
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,585
{\an8}but I can’t vouch
for their accuracy.
205
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,045
{\an8}The teacher gave him
a frowny-face.
206
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:09,465
(button tones beeping)
207
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,427
I’m so proud
of us.
208
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,721
(Odd Couple theme
ring tone playing)
209
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,515
You got Jimbo.
210
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,683
They’re on to
you, Jimbo!
211
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,767
Get out of there!
212
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,477
Scram... mbled eggs
would be lovely
213
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,312
for breakfast,
Mother.
214
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,855
(whispering):
Just go! Quickly!
215
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,065
We’re busted!
216
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,567
Thanks, mole.
217
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,235
Now make your split-
screen vanish.
218
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,069
Will do!
219
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,696
Ooh!
220
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,870
Damn it, these blueprints
are all wrong.
221
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,291
Where’s the roller coaster room
and the shark tank?
222
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,500
-(heavy door closes)
-Huh?
223
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:45,876
Ooh.
224
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:53,551
(grunts)
225
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,517
Son of a beach ball,
they’re gone!
226
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,728
(whimpering)
227
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,229
(phone speed dialing)
228
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,064
I’ve got a man down!
229
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,316
Well, not a man.
230
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,817
A very special boy.
231
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,193
(static on other end)
232
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,653
Chloe, I need those
schematics now!
233
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,113
What? Who is this?
234
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,365
I’m Jack Bauer.
Who the hell are you?
235
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,660
-Me? Uh, I’m...
Ahmed Adoody.
-(rapid gunfire)
236
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,039
Chloe, find out all you
can about Ahmed Adoody.
237
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,582
Does anyone there know
Ahmed Adoody?
238
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,584
Ahmed Adoody, wealthy
Saudi financier.
239
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,753
Disappeared into Afghanistan
in the late 90s.
240
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,296
-Really?
-No, Jack, it’s
a joke name.
241
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,797
You’re being
set up.
242
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,008
Damn it!
243
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:37,219
(laughing)
244
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,765
Now, let’s see.
245
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,059
20 minutes at 300 degrees
is the equivalent
246
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,477
of five minutes at...
247
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,895
Let’s see...
(mumbles)
248
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,104
1,200 degrees.
249
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,107
Now...
250
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:53,319
to make the folded index card
that goes in front of the cake.
251
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,238
(loud hissing)
252
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,907
(sniffing)
253
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,992
(explosion)
254
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,911
(hissing)
255
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,496
(groans)
256
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,916
D’oh!
257
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,042
(clock ticks)
258
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,710
No!
259
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,714
Oh. Pink frosting
fixes everything.
260
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,388
HOMER:
Say, is your butt numb
from all this vibrating?
261
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,306
(laughs)
Oh, mine is.
262
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,558
Still, I wouldn’t describe
it as unpleasant.
263
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,644
Well, let’s get
some shut-eye.
264
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,314
Ooh, it’s that
bar I like!
265
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,607
Wait here in the car.
266
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,942
Ow!
267
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,738
Okay, this might
hurt a little.
268
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,073
No problem.
269
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,701
(whirring)
270
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,327
Oh, sweet mother
of Mary!
271
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,246
(whirring)
272
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:48,249
(groans)
273
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,834
Okay, Milhouse,
what do you want to do?
274
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,502
Well, the school’s having
a bake sale.
275
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,920
Old Betsy’ll get us there.
276
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,340
(grunting)
277
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,846
We are projecting an
effective stink radius
278
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,348
farther than any of us
can kick a kickball.
279
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,351
Sir, we have to call off
this bake sale now!
280
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,520
Yes, yes, yes,
we have to do something.
281
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:14,483
Although, the basketball hoops
have been retracted.
282
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,736
D.J. Fun-times has already
cashed his deposit,
283
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,113
and Superintendent Chalmers
won’t be happy to hear...
284
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,365
I won’t be happy to
hear what, Seymour?
285
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,159
Um, that, uh, bake sale
revenue projections
286
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,744
are through the roof!
287
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,746
I’m very happy to hear that.
288
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,707
You don’t know me at all.
289
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,960
We have to find those
bullies before the
bake sale starts.
290
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,838
Martin, run a top-down search
on the school security grid.
291
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,674
Will do, and you chose
the perfect person.
292
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,925
(laughs)
293
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:45,973
(mechanical hum)
294
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,184
(gasps)
The stink bomb!
295
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,186
I can’t let anyone see it!
296
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,645
Martin, anything?
297
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,730
I wish.
298
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,940
This is as boring
as mainstream cinema.
299
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,650
(both laughing)
300
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,735
So true.
301
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,783
(methodic beeping)
302
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,505
Cops. Act natural.
303
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,050
(girly laughter)
304
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,635
(high-pitched voice):
Hello, Officer!
305
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,303
Oh, afternoon,
ma’am.
306
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,597
(sighs)
What is it about a woman
in a Dumpster?
307
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,228
(methodic beeping)
308
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:44,406
Wait!
309
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,825
(grunts)
310
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,284
Mr. Simpson!
311
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,202
(groans)
312
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,834
(gasping)
313
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,836
My cake!
314
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,842
(grunts)
315
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,021
They’re gonna wish the bake sale
was a nose plug sale.
316
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,815
And it totally isn’t.
317
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,817
(all laughing)
318
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,403
Teens?
319
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,946
In Willie’s hidey hole?
320
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,448
I’ll mop up your blood
from the inside!
321
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,449
(all scream)
322
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,666
(alarm ringing)
323
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,377
We have a fire alarm
in the ventilation room!
324
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,295
I’ll check it out.
325
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,507
(door opens, closes)
326
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,967
(panting)
327
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,594
(sighs)
328
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,470
♪ Skip, skip,
skip to my Lou... ♪
329
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,805
Top of the morning,
Nelson.
330
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,140
And to you, Martin.
331
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,058
♪ Skip to my Lou,
my darling. ♪
332
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,519
Hey, Nelson,
what gives?
333
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,855
Martin just skipped past you
singing "Skip to My Lou,"
334
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,732
and you did nothing.
335
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,151
Can’t a guy enjoy
a catchy tune?
336
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,444
(grunts)
337
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,113
Ow! Ow!
338
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,740
I’m unclear
on what you want!
339
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,827
Is Martin working for Jimbo?
340
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,331
Uh...
341
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,624
Ow!
(groans)
342
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,833
Yes.
343
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,251
Yes what?
344
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,170
Ow!
345
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,421
Yes, sir.
346
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,256
(groans)
347
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,716
Lisa, are you
on a secure line?
348
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,092
I am.
349
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,260
You’re on a Bluetooth
cell phone,
350
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,596
the most vulnerable
device known to man.
351
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,264
But it looks so cool.
352
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,682
Listen, there’s
a mole inside CTU.
353
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,516
A mole?!
354
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,768
Yes, a mole.
355
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,311
Now, I don’t
have much time,
356
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,188
so I’m just gonna come
right out and say his name,
357
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,314
so get ready
to know his name.
358
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,358
His name is
the following: M...
359
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,989
♪ Skip, skip, skip to my Lou. ♪
360
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,533
(overlapping chatter)
361
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,953
Rice Krispie Treats?!
362
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,330
Way to phone it in,
Sarah Wiggum.
363
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,207
Excuse me, excuse me,
I’m in the sale.
364
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,124
I’m in the sale.
365
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,545
Okay, I kept
my end of the deal.
366
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,130
Release my friends.
367
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,303
All here, from
Asimov to Zarathustra.
368
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,639
Where’s Phobos?!
369
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,057
He’s with us now.
370
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,143
(groans)
371
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,144
We’re out of here.
372
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,312
Smell you later.
373
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,606
Three minutes
later, to be exact.
374
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,525
(beeping)
375
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,612
What have I done?
376
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:53,846
Raisin cake.
377
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,431
Who wants raisin cake?
378
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,474
Don’t worry, it’s not too moist.
379
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,727
Hmm?
380
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,311
(sighs)
381
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,398
Can I have some
more money?
382
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,316
I gave you ten dollars.
383
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,694
All the other moms
gave their husbands $20.
384
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,446
Well, all
the other husbands
385
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,281
don’t come home
dirty from fighting.
386
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,532
I had fight.
387
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,200
Lenny said his dad
is Hulk Hogan,
388
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,827
and I know he’s not.
389
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,704
Here’s five
more dollars.
390
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,872
(gasps)
391
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,915
(laughing)
392
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,042
Bart, are you all right?
393
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,251
Bart?!
394
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,544
Hey, I’m fine.
They haven’t made
395
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,962
a French horn yet
that can hurt me.
396
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,256
Now, I’m sending you
a picture of the bomb.
397
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,799
(grunting)
398
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,470
My God.
399
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,597
That’s a class-five
stench-dispersal unit.
400
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,474
We have to short
out that fan.
401
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,229
"H.D.W."
402
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,481
What’s that?
403
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:46,732
That’s the main valve
404
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,193
of the hot dog water
recirculation system.
405
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,780
There’s over 30 years
of wiener soakings in there.
406
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:53,989
Lis, you have
to release that water.
407
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,699
It’s the only way
to short out the fan.
408
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,701
But you and Willie
will drown.
409
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,161
Possibly,
but I can’t risk
410
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,496
Superintendent Chalmers
finding out about...
411
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,456
Finding out about what, Seymour?
412
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,417
Um, about how early press
coverage of the bake sale
413
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,044
is uniformly positive.
414
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,214
Once again, you have thoroughly
misgauged my response.
415
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,591
This is going on
your permanent record.
416
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,852
The hot dog water’s
going to push us into the fan!
417
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,815
And I just sharpened
those blades.
418
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:53,549
(weakly):
♪ Skip to my Lou...
my darling. ♪
419
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,884
Bart, I’ve got an idea.
420
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,637
As you’re dying,
jam the blades with your spine.
421
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,721
Keep pitching. I’ll be back.
422
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,722
(inhales deeply)
423
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,605
(humming)
424
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,690
(gasps)
425
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,401
Look!
426
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,571
A window to
a child’s watery grave!
427
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,781
Don’t worry,
I’ll free the boy.
428
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,032
(crowd gasping)
429
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,493
(gunshots)
430
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,537
(gasps)
431
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,414
Damn it! This glass
is bulletproof.
432
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,832
There’s nothing
that can shatter it.
433
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,667
MARGE:
Yes, there is!
434
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,635
(beeping)
435
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,596
Huh?
436
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,097
Ooh, a thermos.
437
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,141
With seven cups of
coffee still in it.
438
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,184
Oh, wait, six.
439
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,602
Dad, that’s a bomb!
440
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:47,978
Here! It’s yours!
441
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,104
(panting)
442
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,064
(gasps)
443
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,191
How do I stop it?
444
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,235
Oh, that’s convenient.
445
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,572
(sighs)
446
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,032
SKINNER:
Thank goodness
this crisis was averted.
447
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:01,408
Nicely done, Lisa.
448
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,076
Hey, what about me?
449
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,453
I almost died,
and so did Willie.
450
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,288
(grunting)
451
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,081
Oh, leave me be.
452
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,542
I don’t want to live if I
have to clean up this mess.
453
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,928
Oh, my special
little guy.
454
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,181
I’m so glad
you’re okay.
455
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,558
Oh, I’m just glad you
taste like hot dogs.
456
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,398
(crowd gasps)
457
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,358
Good work, Lisa!
458
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:35,400
What about me?
459
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,402
Bart Simpson,
12 minutes ago,
460
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,029
you made an annoying
prank phone call to me.
461
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,030
All units, move in.
462
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,208
I pulled every single field
agent off all other cases
463
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,252
to track you down
and bring you to justice.
464
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:57,047
It was a tough decision, but I
think I made the right call.
465
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,717
(explosion)
466
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:01,551
(all gasp)
467
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:02,719
It’s okay,
that was Shelbyville.
468
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,804
(all sigh)
469
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,013
(methodic beeping)
470
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,350
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
471
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,436
Shh!
472
00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:56,356
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