1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,297
<i>CHOIR:</i>
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,977
(school bell ringing)

3
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,817
(whistle blows)

4
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,238
(beeps)

5
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,156
(beeping)

6
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,793
(saxophone solo)

7
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:44,711
(tires screeching)

8
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,048
D’oh!

9
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,675
(shrieks)

10
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,472
D’oh!

11
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,474
D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’oh!

12
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,976
D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’oh...!

13
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,109
(shrieks)

14
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,822
(buzzing)

15
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,243
(roaring)

16
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,620
(yells)

17
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,707
(roaring)

18
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,087
(roaring)

19
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,846
(animals screeching)

20
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,432
(hooting)

21
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,977
(hooting)

22
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,312
(wind whistling)

23
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:45,605
Hey.

24
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,451
Did you bring
the milk?

25
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,161
(sighs)

26
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,050
{\an8}<i>LOVEJOY:</i>
<i>This concludes our service.</i>

27
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,594
{\an8}<i>Go now in the peace</i>
<i>of the Lord.</i>

28
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,887
{\an8}<i>HOMER:</i>
<i>So long, suckers!</i>

29
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,389
{\an8}Move it, move it,
move it!

30
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,891
{\an8}Do you want to be second
out of the parking lot? Do you?

31
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,143
{\an8}(grunts)

32
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,644
{\an8}-Leave her!
-We left her last week,

33
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,354
{\an8}and she didn’t make
it home for dinner!

34
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,982
{\an8}(tires squealing)

35
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,233
{\an8}You’ll never
catch me, Lord!

36
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,985
{\an8}(Homer laughing)

37
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,904
{\an8}Oh, man, that church
service was so boring.

38
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,574
{\an8}I did a whole book
of Find-A-Words.

39
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:41,327
{\an8}Dad, all you circled
were the "I"s and "A"s.

40
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,913
{\an8}Those are words.
Well, where should we go
for brunch?

41
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,415
{\an8}Griddler
on the Roof?

42
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,292
{\an8}Thank God
It’s Fried Eggs?

43
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:48,835
{\an8}Luftwaffle’s?

44
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,170
{\an8}Bodacious Frittatas?

45
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,379
{\an8}Buffet the Hunger Slayer?

46
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,755
{\an8}I want to say one.

47
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,048
{\an8}Be my guest.

48
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,550
{\an8}Denny’s.

49
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,801
{\an8}(groans):
Oh!

50
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,012
{\an8}Every place has
such a long line.

51
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,471
{\an8}Don’t worry.
We’ll just go home.

52
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,098
{\an8}Your mother
can cook.

53
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,893
{\an8}I just want a simple salad
with pine nuts,

54
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,395
{\an8}haricots verts,
seasonal heirloom tomatoes...

55
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:08,771
{\an8}Forget it! One day a week,

56
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,648
{\an8}I should be able
to put on nice clothes

57
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,859
{\an8}and have someone
bring food to <i>me.</i>

58
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,986
{\an8}There’s a place...
with no line!

59
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,988
{\an8}HOMER:
Woo-hoo!

60
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,784
{\an8}Bart, that’s not a restaurant,
it’s somebody’s house.

61
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,494
{\an8}Lisa’s right, son.

62
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,539
{\an8}Your mom is way too classy
a lady to crash a private...

63
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,374
{\an8}I’m not cooking!

64
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,252
{\an8}And you can cut
your own meat!

65
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,879
{\an8}(groans):
Oh!

66
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,550
{\an8}Everyone just act cool.

67
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,594
{\an8}If anyone asks,
tell them we’re plumbers,

68
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,804
{\an8}and then start plumbing
until they go away.

69
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,014
{\an8}Hi...

70
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:44,474
{\an8}you!

71
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,477
{\an8}Dude! You don’t think,
you know me, but you do!

72
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,107
{\an8}Oh Homer, you’ve got to try
this roast beef au jus.

73
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,486
{\an8}Mmm! Au jus!

74
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,322
{\an8}Not quite gravy,
not quite blood.

75
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,074
{\an8}Look at the crowd
around that table.

76
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,952
{\an8}(gasps): It must be a make-
your-own sundae bar!

77
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,286
{\an8}Watch it.

78
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,622
{\an8}Oh, I can’t wait to
taste that hot fudge,

79
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,249
{\an8}and caramel
and crushed nuts

80
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,376
{\an8}all slathered
over a delicious...

81
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,253
{\an8}elderly corpse?!

82
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,963
{\an8}(gasps):
We crashed a funeral!

83
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,172
{\an8}Oh, my God!

84
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,258
{\an8}Quick, everyone,
put on their long faces.

85
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,010
{\an8}Longer!

86
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,433
{\an8}(whispering):
We should get
out of here.

87
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,977
{\an8}Come on!

88
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,188
{\an8}Where’s Bart?

89
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,398
{\an8}Mahogany.

90
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:34,983
{\an8}Great movie,
great casket.

91
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,859
{\an8}I miss my Pop-pop.

92
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,111
{\an8}I miss him, too.

93
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,362
{\an8}What’s your name?

94
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,197
{\an8}-Donny.
-You’re Donny?

95
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,117
{\an8}Pop-pop said that
after he died,

96
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,577
{\an8}you should give me
ten bucks a week.

97
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,579
{\an8}Starting now.

98
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:50,456
{\an8}Okay.

99
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:54,502
{\an8}Um, listen, I’m out
of town next week, so...

100
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:55,920
{\an8}Come on,
we’re leaving!

101
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,172
{\an8}Ooh. After one more
mini-quiche.

102
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,633
{\an8}(chomping)

103
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,343
{\an8}Excuse me.

104
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,971
{\an8}My brother twisted his ankle
setting up the chairs.

105
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:08,891
{\an8}Will the tragedies that stalk
this family never cease?

106
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,227
{\an8}(crying)

107
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,021
{\an8}Would you like to
be a pallbearer?

108
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,564
{\an8}Of course.

109
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:15,898
{\an8}(grunting)

110
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:19,027
{\an8}I thought
she said polar bear.

111
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,903
{\an8}Please, sir, a little
respect for the dead.

112
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,322
{\an8}Oh, yes, of course. Whoa!

113
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,865
{\an8}(thudding, grunts)

114
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,825
{\an8}(groaning):
Oh, my back!

115
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,870
It hurts, and not in a good way.

116
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,747
Well, time to move
on with our lives.

117
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,373
(chuckling)

118
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,500
(spitting):
Oh, stop it!

119
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,252
(spits)

120
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,713
(Homer sputtering):
I’m down here.

121
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,006
HIBBERT:
<i>Homer,</i>

122
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,883
you have
a mild back sprain.

123
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,426
And you also ingested

124
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,636
a dangerous quantity
of grave dirt.

125
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,473
Well, you’re always telling me
I should eat more dirt.

126
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,808
Not dirt. Vegetables!

127
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,977
Which grow in what?

128
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,188
Oh! Look, I just need
to make sure

129
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,231
your vertebrae
are properly aligned.

130
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,192
This should take
only a minute,

131
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,735
and cost about
a thousand dollars.

132
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,736
♪ D’oh! ♪

133
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:02,945
That doesn’t sound

134
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,447
like Homer’s usual
annoyed grunt.

135
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,656
Hmm.

136
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,200
♪ D’oh! ♪

137
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,284
(lower note):
♪ D’oh ♪

138
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,245
Fascinating.
When Homer’s on his back,

139
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,706
his stomach lodges perfectly
under his diaphragm,

140
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,583
giving him a powerful
singing voice.

141
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,626
Is that
a real thing?

142
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,211
It is!

143
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,420
Tenor Andrea Bocelli

144
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,422
recorded an entire
song on his back.

145
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,007
You know, Homer,

146
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,759
your singing could help
alleviate patient suffering,

147
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,552
and save us a fortune
in Demerol.

148
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,762
My pleasure.

149
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:32,433
♪ If ever I would leave you ♪

150
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:36,104
♪ It wouldn’t be in summer ♪

151
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,773
♪ Seeing you in summer ♪

152
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:43,653
♪ I never would go ♪

153
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,780
♪ Your hair streaked
with sunlight ♪

154
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,532
(beeping)

155
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,534
♪ Your lips red as flame ♪

156
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,244
(crying)

157
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:54,914
♪ Your face with a luster ♪

158
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:58,626
♪ That puts gold to shame! ♪

159
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,463
♪ But if I ever leave you ♪

160
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,383
(Homer’s regular voice):
♪ It shouldn’t be in autumn ♪

161
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,968
(operatic voice):
♪ How I’d leave in autumn ♪

162
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:11,472
(Homer’s voice):
♪ I never will know ♪

163
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:15,226
HIBBERT & HOMER:
♪ I’ve seen how you sparkle ♪

164
00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:18,563
♪ When fall nips the air ♪

165
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:22,191
♪ I know you in autumn ♪

166
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,779
♪ And I must be there. ♪

167
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:30,324
Ah, nothing lifts my spirits
like shopping.

168
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,076
Let’s see,
I’ll take his liver,

169
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,120
a case of Adam’s apples,

170
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,330
that motorcycle man’s
moustache.

171
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,623
Oh, the money you’ve
contributed

172
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,709
to anti-helmet laws has
really paid off, sir.

173
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,044
Well, young people
are my future.

174
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,505
HOMER (singing):
♪ And could I leave you ♪

175
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,841
♪ Running merrily
through the snow... ♪

176
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,217
(gasps):
That beautiful voice!

177
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,428
It’s making
my heart race!

178
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:54,474
(steam whistle blowing)

179
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,851
-♪ Knowing how in spring... ♪
-It’s coming from down the hall.

180
00:07:56,934 --> 00:08:00,146
To the Betty and Herbert
Weinstein Pavilion!

181
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:04,734
♪ Oh, no! Not in springtime ♪

182
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:09,655
♪ Summer, winter or fall ♪

183
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:14,744
♪ No, never could
I leave you...

184
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:19,165
♪ At... all! ♪

185
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,877
Excellent, excellent!

186
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,295
The Springfield Opera House,

187
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,130
of which I am founder,
artistic director,

188
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,256
and standing ovation
starter,

189
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,674
is producing
<i>La Bohème.</i>

190
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,177
I want you
to sing the lead.

191
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,638
But I can only sing
lying on my back.

192
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,348
Uh, we’ll cover it
with a rewrite.

193
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,148
Places, everyone!

194
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,025
Oh, oh, I just have
one question:

195
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,360
what is this movie about?

196
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,903
For the last time,
it’s not a movie!

197
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,447
Excuse me, "film."

198
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,783
It’s an opera
and you are in it!

199
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,992
Muah!

200
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,077
Good luck.

201
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,245
(applause)

202
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:04,544
♪ <i>Rodolfo, perché lete</i>
<i>che vi trovate gio? </i>♪

203
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,548
♪ <i>Ho danneggiato</i>
<i>il mio piede. </i>♪

204
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,635
♪ <i>Nei cieli bigi </i>♪

205
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:17,390
♪ <i>Guardo fumar dai mille</i>
<i>comignoli parigi. </i>♪

206
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,392
-Homer’s fantastic!
-Yeah.

207
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,352
But these seats
are terrible.

208
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,818
(sobbing)

209
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,655
♪ Mimi! Mimi! ♪

210
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,407
(sobbing)

211
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,786
♪ Mimi! Mimi! ♪

212
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,413
(sobbing)

213
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,791
ALL:
Bravo!

214
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,084
Bravo!

215
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,377
(cheering)

216
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,379
Encore!

217
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:52,133
My boy, you are a star.

218
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,217
Woo-hoo!

219
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,595
-An opera star!
-Oh.

220
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,851
Dad, you were great!

221
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,145
And you contributed
to our culture!

222
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,271
Well, I didn’t mean to.

223
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,814
No, no. It’s a good thing.

224
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,274
Oh, good.

225
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,234
This makes up
for me showing up drunk

226
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,111
to the father-daughter dance.

227
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,863
The dance isn’t
till next week.

228
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,947
Sorry, Lisa.

229
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,157
Can’t change
the future.

230
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:25,333
{\an8}(trumpeting)

231
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:39,639
♪ And the home ♪

232
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,642
♪ Of the... ♪

233
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:46,646
♪ Bra-aave! ♪

234
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,648
We’re free!

235
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,609
(sinister laugh)

236
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,361
(applause)

237
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,908
♪ Figaro, Figaro, la, la, la ♪

238
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,160
Nice set, Homer.

239
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,162
That was a hot one.

240
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,916
Wow, praise
from Placido Domingo.

241
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,959
Just call me P-Dingo,

242
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,212
Eh, I’ll think about it.

243
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:13,089
You know, Homer,

244
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,841
there’s one thing about opera
that has always bugged me:

245
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,427
everyone sings
instead of talking.

246
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,638
But you made
me believe

247
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,848
I was in a magical world

248
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,017
where singing
is talking.

249
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,852
Thanks!

250
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,230
You know, of the three tenors,
you’re my second favorite!

251
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,232
No wait, I forgot about
that other guy.

252
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,400
Sorry, you’re third.

253
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,778
Wait, Homer,
before you go,

254
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,489
there is a new note
I’ve been working on.

255
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,116
Tell me what you think...

256
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:44,870
(sings operatic note)

257
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,000
Hmm...

258
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,212
what if you gave it a little
more of this flavor...

259
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:57,007
(sings operatic note)

260
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,259
Like this?

261
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,594
(sings operatic note)

262
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,013
Keep reaching
for the stars, kid.

263
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,682
(sings operatic note)

264
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:05,599
(sings a groan)

265
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,104
Happy anniversary,
sweetie.

266
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,273
You know, it might be
a little more romantic

267
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,525
without your entourage.

268
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,069
But I need my childhood friends
to help me keep it real.

269
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,863
Would you have me keep it fake?

270
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,282
Homer,
can’t we please be alone?

271
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,451
It’s our
anniversary.

272
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,453
We’ll move
to another table.

273
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,288
Yoko.

274
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,622
See?

275
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,791
Isn’t it nicer,
with just you and...

276
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,209
Excuse us.

277
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,212
Would you mind signing
autographs for my mother and me?

278
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,214
(chuckling):
Oh, my pleasure.

279
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,050
To the hottest girls
in the room.

280
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,177
(chuckles)

281
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,803
What is he saying?

282
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,388
I said you look hot!

283
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,598
Hot!

284
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,225
-Ay Chihuahua!
-Ay chi-what?

285
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,810
(screaming):
Hua-hua!.

286
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,854
I want you to stop
flirting with women.

287
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,063
No problem.

288
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,690
Sir, may I say

289
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,484
I thoroughly enjoyed
your performance.

290
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,110
May I say

291
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,989
I’m enjoying the calm waters
of your deep, blue eyes?

292
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,073
Oh, well...

293
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,326
(chuckles)

294
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,410
What?

295
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,495
That’s how guys talk.

296
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,497
(growling):
Oh.

297
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,499
You are out
of control!

298
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,584
The late nights,
the eating!

299
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,628
You’ve actually
outgrown your cape!

300
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,506
Oh, Homie...

301
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,841
I miss our
alone time.

302
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,426
I miss you.

303
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,806
Need some help, H?

304
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,808
Want us to take Marge shopping?

305
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,769
You guys go on,
we’re gonna walk home.

306
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,646
Great call, H,
walking’s the best.

307
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,025
I really want to
hook up with Homer.

308
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,444
Now we both know
that ain’t gonna happen,

309
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,613
but, uh, I’m right here.

310
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,156
(radio clicks on)

311
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866
(Jane’s Addiction’s
"Superhero" plays)

312
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,286
♪ Yeah ♪

313
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,497
♪ Oh, yeah. ♪

314
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,626
Marge, when I’m onstage,

315
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,628
I can only sing
those love songs

316
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,797
by picturing
your beautiful face.

317
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,173
So in a way,

318
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,927
my groupies are really
<i>our </i>groupies.

319
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,762
Aw, you’re sweet.

320
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,264
WOMAN:
Oh, my God, it’s him!

321
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,182
(women screaming)

322
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,275
Use your opera
glasses, Dorothy.

323
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,489
DOROTHY:
Switching to thermal imaging.

324
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,493
Target acquired.

325
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,249
(panting)

326
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,585
Oh, we’re trapped.

327
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,712
Your fans will
rip us to pieces.

328
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,589
-Not me, they love me.
-(groans)

329
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,140
(ladies screaming)

330
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,433
Get on.

331
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,021
(engine revving)

332
00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,690
(tires screeching)

333
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,359
Sir, thank you
for saving us.

334
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,069
Do you want
to come in for coffee?

335
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,865
That’s right, I’m a woman.

336
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,326
A lady motorcycle driver?!

337
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,660
What is this,
<i>The Twilight Zone?</i>

338
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,081
It’s a shame a few
out of control fans

339
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,583
can make the rest
of us look bad.

340
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,377
I couldn’t agree more, Julia.

341
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,212
Listen, I love opera,

342
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,340
but I hate the way these people
treat your husband.

343
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,634
Why don’t you
make me president
of Homer’s fan club

344
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,469
and I’ll keep the
crazies in check.

345
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,846
That’s a great idea.

346
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,016
To celebrate, I’ll go whip us up
some Chex Mix pie.

347
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,226
So did you see
the show tonight?

348
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,354
Remember the part
where I forgot the words

349
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,940
and I just sang
"Uh-oh Spaghetti-os"?

350
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,691
I’m hoping
they send me a case.

351
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,986
(unzips)

352
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,196
Now listen, Homer.

353
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,198
You can have me
anytime you want me.

354
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,783
Marge!

355
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,534
But if you say
one word to your wife,

356
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,577
I’ll tell her you attacked me.

357
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,287
MARGE:
What is it, sweetie?

358
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,791
Um... everyone’s
wearing clothes in here.

359
00:15:58,874 --> 00:15:59,792
That’s nice.

360
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,881
(on phone):
Mr. Simpson will
send you a photo

361
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,466
if you send him
a self-addressed envelope.

362
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,635
-(clicks)
-Mr. Simpson cannot

363
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:10,719
sing at your daughter’s
birthday,

364
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,221
but he will come for cake.

365
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,640
-(clicks)
-Dedicate your shopping center?

366
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,016
What’s the anchor store?

367
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,059
I don’t think so.

368
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,852
She’s perfect!

369
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,229
For the first time
since you became

370
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:23,232
an opera star
I can finally relax.

371
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,359
Well, uh, I’m not sure
she’s working out.

372
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,405
(Homer shrieks)

373
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,074
(Mozart’s "Don Giovanni" plays)

374
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,789
(screams)

375
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,378
(shrieks)

376
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,802
That’s it!

377
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,137
Let me make
something very clear:

378
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,888
my heart belongs
to Marge and you can

379
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,015
never, ever have it.

380
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,683
This opera’s over

381
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,477
when the fat <i>man </i>sings.

382
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,562
All right, Homer.

383
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,855
I understand perfectly.

384
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,356
You shall never be mine.

385
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,650
That’s good.
You’ve calmly accepted

386
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,653
that you will never have the
only man you could ever love.

387
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,613
Now, I think it would
be best if you left.

388
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,409
-Julia, wait!
-Yes?

389
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:16,994
Before you go,

390
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,996
could you hire your
own replacement?

391
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,750
But make sure
she’s not crazy like you.

392
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,334
(Mozart’s "Don Giovanni" plays)

393
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,464
(screams)

394
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,299
Die, you stupid cobra!

395
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,675
Die! Die!

396
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,553
(giggling)

397
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,972
Dad, I think someone’s
trying to kill you.

398
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,098
Who could it be?

399
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,725
A disgruntled former employee?

400
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:43,145
Whoever it is, the cobra
is their symbol.

401
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:49,610
HOMER (singing arpeggios):
♪ D’oh, d’oh, d’oh,
d’oh, d’oh, d’oh, d’oh ♪

402
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:53,447
♪ Woo, woo, woo,
woo, woo, woo-hoo ♪

403
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:58,494
♪ Stu, stu, stu,
stu-pid Flanders ♪

404
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,913
Why the crescendo,
my dear, old friend-o?

405
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:03,457
♪ Get lost you waste
of a moustache. ♪

406
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,459
Okily-dokily.

407
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,670
Chief, I think we should
cancel the performance.

408
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,255
No can do, Marge.

409
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,174
My first duty is to the
season-ticket holders.

410
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,926
But don’t worry,
I’ve got the entire

411
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,761
opera house on
a complete lockdown.

412
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,888
<i>I got sharpshooters</i>
<i>on the gargoyles,</i>

413
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,224
<i>inflatable Homer</i>
<i>decoys in the seats,</i>

414
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,684
and to take out
the biggest threat of all,

415
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,645
we’re pre-crashing
the chandelier.

416
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:28,398
(glass breaking)

417
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,858
("Se Il Mio Nome Saper Voi
Bramate" begins)

418
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,653
♪ <i>Se il mio nome ♪</i>

419
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:37,407
<i>♪ Saper voi bramate </i>♪

420
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,910
♪ <i>Dal mio labbro</i>
<i>il mio nome... </i>♪

421
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,829
(groans)

422
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,372
I’m so tense.

423
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,541
I can’t enjoy Count Almaviva

424
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,502
serenading the intended bride
of Dr. Bartalo.

425
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:49,711
I just can’t.

426
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,338
I don’t see anything suspicious.

427
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:55,384
Except someone is loudly
unwrapping their candy.

428
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:59,012
It ain’t candy, it’s a lamb chop
wrapped in foil.

429
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,223
Hey, Mom, do all
conductors carry

430
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,975
poisoned blow-darts
in their pocket?

431
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:06,228
Well, Arthur Fiedler used to,
but I’d better take a look.

432
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,941
(gasps)

433
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,651
Chief Wiggums!

434
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,279
The maestro is the killer!

435
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,822
All right, I’m going in.

436
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,785
(horns blasting notes)

437
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,871
(moaning)

438
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,289
Allegro! Allegro!

439
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,207
-(orchestra plays faster)
-I mean, andante. Andante!

440
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,709
-(playing slower)
-Ah, yeah.

441
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,511
(grunts, thuds)

442
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,554
Snipers, take the shot.

443
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,222
(gunfire)

444
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,780
(crashing)

445
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,033
Okay, that’s a wrap, people!

446
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,411
Luckily, the sniper bullets

447
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,163
stopped her heart
from pumping the poison

448
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,498
through her body long enough
for the chandelier

449
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,083
to squish it all out of her.

450
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,336
With any luck, she’ll be up
and stalking within a week.

451
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,463
(chuckles)

452
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,048
I’m sorry you got hurt,

453
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,217
but you learned
an important lesson.

454
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,969
One comes between
me and my Homie.

455
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,804
(surly):
I’ll get you for this, Marge,

456
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,514
if it’s the last thing I do.

457
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,433
(normal voice):
Oh, and I scheduled
the cable guy

458
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,435
to come on Wednesday
between 10:00 and 2:00.

459
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,395
Oh, but Wednesday’s
not good for me.

460
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,648
(surly):
I know, Marge. I know.

461
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,650
(evil laugh)

462
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:40,781
Let’s go, Hagliacci,

463
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:43,784
or should I say,
Madame Butterface?

464
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,868
-What? What?
-I had two.

465
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,621
Well, that’s it.

466
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,790
I’m retiring from the opera.

467
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,625
It’s just too popular.

468
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,294
And I know something
much more fun

469
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,046
I can do on my back.

470
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,219
Singing opera made me
good at painting.

471
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,430
-Is that a real thing?
-No.

472
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,313
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA

473
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:57,774
Enhanced by Fotokem