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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(tires screech)
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D'oh!
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(screams)
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{\an8}♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪
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{\an8}♪ Are you listening? ♪
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{\an8}♪ In the lane... ♪
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(grunts)
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{\an8}Dad, I’m freezing.
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00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,833
Don’t worry, kids.
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{\an8}These wool socks and down
parkas will keep you warm.
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{\an8}(shivering)
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{\an8}We wouldn’t be
in this trouble
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{\an8}if you’d just paid
the heating bill!
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{\an8}I thought global warming
would take care of it.
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{\an8}Al Gore can’t do
anything right.
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I got some old
magazines to burn.
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Popular Science.
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Redbook.
(flames roaring)
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Big & Tall Halloween
Costume catalogue.
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Next item.
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No! That’s my
memory box!
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{\an8}Mom, I didn’t know
you went to college!
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{\an8}Yeah, you always said
that after high school,
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{\an8}Dad "blessed" you with
the unplanned miracle of me.
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{\an8}Hey, parents
are allowed
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{\an8}to keep some
secrets.
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{\an8}Like which kid’s
their favorite!
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It’s Lisa.
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{\an8}You know, Mom and Dad
are almost 40,
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{\an8}and Bart is ten.
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{\an8}That means you didn’t have him
until way after high school.
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{\an8}Yeah, what happened while
I was chillin’ in Dad’s junk?
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There is a part
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{\an8}of our past that
we haven’t told you
kids about.
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A turbulent part.
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{\an8}Come on.
More turbulent than now?
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{\an8}We’re in every kind
of therapy.
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{\an8}Things happened between your
mother and me
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{\an8}that we’re not proud of.
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{\an8}It was the middle
of a wild decade
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{\an8}known as the 1990s.
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The ’90s? Never heard of it.
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{\an8}Oh, it was a
wonderful time.
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{\an8}The Iraq war was over
once and for all,
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{\an8}a struggling Matt Groening
created Futurama,
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{\an8}and young people believed
in their dreams,
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{\an8}thanks to a TV show
called Melrose Place.
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{\an8}Your mother and I were dating,
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{\an8}and we had just moved into
our first apartment together.
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{\an8}Luann, a picture of
you cheating on me
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{\an8}is downloading
onto my computer.
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{\an8}I’ll know who you were with in
less than six hours!
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{\an8}Unless someone
picks up the phone.
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{\an8}No, no, no, no! Oh!
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{\an8}HOMER:
We didn’t have a lot of money,
but we were young and in love.
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{\an8}Oh! I’m afraid
it’s Top Ramen again.
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{\an8}With you, baby, Top Ramen tastes
like Cup O’ Noodles.
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{\an8}(slurping)
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{\an8}You know, these IKEA foam futons
do Velcro together.
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{\an8}Uh, I-I’m sorry.
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{\an8}I’m not ready
to do that yet.
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I want to wait
until I’m married,
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or at least really drunk.
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I understand.
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We should follow the lead
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of today’s celebrity
role models.
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HOMER:
Like all young people,
I had a musical dream,
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a dream called
inoffensive urban light
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hip-hop smooth grooves.
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Okay, everyone,
let’s warm up our harmonies.
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♪ Homer ♪
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♪ Lenny ♪
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♪ Carl ♪
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♪ Lou the Cop ♪
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(soft rock instrumental
intro plays)
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(in harmony):
♪ I’ll make rub to you ♪
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♪ Show respect for you ♪
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♪ Hug so safe and strong ♪
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♪ Backrub all night long! ♪
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♪ I’ll make rub to you! ♪
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MARGE:
But our happiness
was about to unravel
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just like Kevin Costner’s
career because of The Postman.
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You applied to college?
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Why didn’t
you tell me?
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I did tell you.
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I thought you were telling me
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you wanted to apply yourself
to making a collage.
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And as I recall,
I was against it.
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I can’t believe I got in.
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It’s like a dream come true.
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An expensive dream.
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(sighs)
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Oh, baby,
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you deserve every
last bit of it!
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I can get the money,
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but it’ll mean swallowing
my pride and working for...
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my dad!
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(kids shouting,
electrical buzzing)
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Well, well, well,
look who’s come crawling back
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to work for your old man.
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What do you need
the money for?
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Medicine?
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None of your business.
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Now give me a job
at your business.
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-You’re dead!
-Die! Die! Die!
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Suck my beam!
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(yelling)
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Okay, all right!
Time’s up!
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(whirring)
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(sighing)
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(grunting)
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This counts
as your break.
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HOMER:
But Marge’s education was worth
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all the pistol-whipping
in the world.
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This place is just
like the brochure:
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Autumn leaves.
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Bull sessions.
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And that is why
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The Lord of the Rings
can never be filmed.
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MARGE:
Fraternity pledges
in their beanies.
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I think I’m gonna like it here.
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So, have you all bought
the required textbooks
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for this class?
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Good. Now throw them all away!
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(class murmuring)
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Everything you think you know
about history is a lie.
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For example:
the Founding Fathers.
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What did they have in common?
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They defied a king?
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They created a system
of checks and balances?
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Wrong! They were all white,
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Protestant,
property-owning males.
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(all gasping)
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MARGE:
Are you saying
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that America was founded
on misconceptions?
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Who said that?
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(class murmuring)
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Hmm.
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That is exactly
what I’m saying.
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PROFESSOR:
Fall semester,
you just got interesting.
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(sobbing)
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This book sucks so much.
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Homie, my mind has been opened
in so many ways!
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Did you know that
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every US president
has been a straight white man?
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Even Walt Disney?
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And did you also know
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that history is written
by the winners?
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Really? I thought
it was written by losers.
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(laughs)
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(sighs)
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If you think that, you should
meet my new professor.
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Professor August has shown me
a side of the world
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I never knew.
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Professor August, eh?
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Who is he, some
gray-haired old bookworm?
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Uh, not exactly.
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Marge, I hope I’ll be seeing you
tomorrow during office hours.
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(giggles)
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Uh, 3:00 to 5:00, right?
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If my beads are parted,
come right in.
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I will!
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To the faculty club!
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(bell dinging)
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Oh!
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I never heard
that noise before.
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Are you sick?
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(groans)
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Hmm. I wonder
what’s on your mind.
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(bicycle bell dinging)
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(tires squealing)
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Hmm.
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Okay, I relit
your pilot light.
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00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,055
Now I just need to do a little
work on the thermostat.
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Would you like me to tell you
a story while I work?
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One about a woman I loved
and lost?
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We’re in the middle
of our own story, thank you.
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Right. No one
wants to hear
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about the gas
man’s girl.
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"Just shut up, monkey man,
and make the gas flow."
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Anyway,
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I was growing to admire
my professor more and more.
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...so that’s why
instead of "X-X",
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I think of the female genes
in a more positive light...
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..."Plus-plus."
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(applause)
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Professor, do you think
white male scientists
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have marginalized
the contributions
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of the Third World?
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Great question.
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00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,759
And the answer is
"of course."
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Could a tribe of bushmen
have invented penicillin?
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Maybe they already have.
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But no one asked them.
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No one asked them.
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(sighs)
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(Seinfeld theme song playing)
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(laughing)
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Oh, Elaine,
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00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,652
will you ever find someone
who’s sponge-worthy?
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00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,821
Professor August says
the situation comedy
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00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,531
is a doomed genre.
204
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,658
Here’s what I say to that:
no soup for you!
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00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,661
Because I am
"master of my domain."
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(sneering):
Newman.
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00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,790
I wish you would support
my comments.
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00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,168
Hey, I worked hard all day
to pay for your education.
209
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,003
Can’t I get all Zima’d up
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00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,464
and have my best girl
put salve on my laser burns?
211
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,381
Aww.
212
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,383
Are the lasers
supposed to burn you?
213
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,385
Apparently if all
the kids fire
214
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,137
at your stomach
at once, it adds up.
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00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,393
(gasps)
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00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,190
(gasps)
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00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,150
♪ ♪
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♪ Closing time ♪
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00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:57,870
♪ Open all the doors and let you
out into the world... ♪
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Marge, your art project
for "protest studies"
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00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,502
is very impressive.
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00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,674
(giggles)
Thank you, Professor August.
223
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,175
Oh, please, I’m your advisor.
224
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,343
Call me Steffan.
225
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,389
Oh, thanks.
226
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,641
It-It’s just a note
from my boyfriend.
227
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,685
Let me guess:
he’s a high school flame
228
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,311
who’s preventing you
from flowering.
229
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,563
Homer’s perfect for me!
230
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,147
Just look at this note:
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00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,191
{\an8}"I miss you."
Aww.
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00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,944
Actually, Marge, if I may
deconstruct that letter.
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00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,988
When he writes
"I miss you,"
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00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,490
"I" is the subject
and "you" is the object.
235
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You are his object.
236
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,744
But Homer’s
so supportive.
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He’s paying for me
to go to college.
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00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,123
He’s paying
for you?
239
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,541
Like he owns you?
240
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,543
I’m sorry, but that
is oppression.
241
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,128
Well, I know you’d
never say anything
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that isn’t objective...
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00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,381
Marge, your assignment
is to think
244
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,216
about what I’ve said
about your relationship.
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When is it due?
246
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Before it’s too late.
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Steffan!
248
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HOMER:
Marge! Marge!
249
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Where are you?!
250
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:02,893
{\an8}Are you by that
251
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,937
(mispronouncing)
Joan Myro statue?
252
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,939
It’s "Juan" Miro!
253
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,149
Stupid townie!
254
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,692
(students laugh)
255
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,152
Hey, it’s townies like me
256
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,070
that cook your food and clean
your bathrooms!
257
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,072
If you did the
former better
258
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,782
we’d use
the latter less.
259
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,409
(sobbing)
260
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,244
That’s it, townie! Run!
261
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,121
Run back to your town!
262
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,831
Marge, this dreamcatcher
263
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,124
was given to me
by a warrior
264
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,584
of the Lakopane tribe,
265
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,461
a tribe ruled by women.
266
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,421
I think it has already caught my
dream.
267
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,840
(chanting)
268
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,344
What the hell is
going on here?
269
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,803
Chanting?!
270
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,889
Homer!
You’re embarrassing me!
271
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,141
Marge, what are you doing
in this crazy college?
272
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,560
This place is nothing like
Animal House!
273
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,938
I smashed a beatnik’s guitar and
he sued me for damages!
274
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,940
Successfully!
275
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,734
Homie, go home.
276
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,027
We’ll talk about
this later.
277
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,028
Fine!
278
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,406
Slam!
279
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:04,205
(Carl, Lenny, Lou humming)
280
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,665
I can’t do it!
281
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,416
Our harmony-laden R&B
doesn’t make sense
282
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,085
in this cruel world.
283
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,670
I’m taking our music to the next
level:
284
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,840
Guitar Rock Utilizing
Nihilist Grunge Energies.
285
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,510
Or, as I call it: Grunge!
286
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:21,681
We are Sadgasm,
and this song is called...
287
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,641
"Politically Incorrect."
288
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,684
(audience gasps)
Oh!
289
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,061
(softly strumming)
290
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,320
♪ Pain is brown ♪
291
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:40,199
♪ Hate is white ♪
292
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:44,286
(cheering)
♪ Love is black ♪
293
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,832
♪ Stab the night ♪
294
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,834
(alternative rock playing)
295
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:53,713
♪ Kingdom of numb ♪
296
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,549
♪ Closet of hurt ♪
297
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,592
(siren blaring)
298
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:02,388
♪ Feelings are dumb ♪
299
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,682
♪ Kisses are dirt... ♪
300
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:05,766
Kurt? Kurt?
301
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,934
It’s Marvin!
302
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,228
Your cousin, Marvin Cobain!
303
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,771
You know that new sound
you’re looking for?
304
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,815
Well, listen to this!
305
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,151
(alternative rock playing)
306
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,445
Marge! Marge!
307
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,448
(crowd cheering)
308
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,491
Hey, Marge.
309
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,077
Homer, your music is
so angry and bitter.
310
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,996
Now why would I be angry
and bitter?
311
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,998
Because I’m paying for you
to make goo-goo eyes
312
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,083
at some smooth-talking
professor?
313
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,376
Well, here’s
a question for you:
314
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,211
why should I stay
with a man
315
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,588
who resents
how I’ve flowered?
316
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,048
Well, if you feel that way,
maybe you can find someone
317
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,800
who wants to nurture
the new you,
318
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,595
maybe someone a little older
and more sophisticated,
319
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:45,723
who can take you to Europe
during the summer.
320
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,475
-Fine by me.
-D’oh!
321
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,894
(bell ringing)
322
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,731
Hey. Will you sign
my boobs?
323
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,191
Yeah.
324
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,743
Mom, why did you stop talking
for two and a half minutes?
325
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,536
It seemed like 20.
326
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,414
Whatever. Homer and I had
the wrenching task
327
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,918
of dividing up a shared life.
328
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,962
{\an8}Okay, I’ll keep the LPs,
and you take the CDs.
329
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,340
I’ll take the typewriter;
you take the computer.
330
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,801
I’ll take the Enron stock;
you take the Microsoft stock.
331
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,802
And, um...
332
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,888
Who gets... Cutie-puss?
333
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,848
I just want a tentacle.
334
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:36,607
("Bittersweet Symphony"
by The Verve plays)
335
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:45,866
HOMER:
I was so depressed,
I spent all my time in a bar.
336
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,076
Gimme a beer, Moe.
337
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,619
I don’t sell booze
no more.
338
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,747
This is a cigar bar now.
339
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,707
Fine.
Cohiba me.
340
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,670
Leave the humidor.
341
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,551
I don’t feel so good.
342
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,053
(belches)
343
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,016
I wasn’t trying
to steal your watch.
344
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,852
I-I was just
comin’ on to ya.
345
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:15,896
Okay, let’s go back
to my place.
346
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,690
Oh, boy.
347
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,109
Ready to take my personal
tour of Springfield’s
348
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,695
most wheelchair-unfriendly
restaurants?
349
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,405
MARGE:
I sure am!
350
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,907
I want your knowledge
inside me.
351
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,291
(sighs)
Seeing Marge always
reminds me of Marge.
352
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,128
(sizzling)
353
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,714
Now where will I get my oxygen?
354
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,757
(sobbing)
355
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,551
{\an8}(grunge rock plays loudly)
356
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:52,933
♪ Razorblade of apathy ♪
357
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:56,687
♪ Shave me with your irony ♪
358
00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:00,774
♪ Shave me! ♪
359
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,152
(cheering and whistling)
360
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,362
(birds singing)
361
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,865
Have you really read
all of these books?
362
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,784
Morally, I couldn’t display
them on shelves if I hadn’t.
363
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,579
But I watch sports as well,
just like a regular man.
364
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,373
Good Goddess!
365
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,460
The Patriots are deep
in Redskin territory.
366
00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:22,421
This isn’t entertainment;
it’s genocide!
367
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,423
(sobbing)
368
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,677
(grunts uneasily)
Why don’t we put on some music?
369
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,512
♪ Shave me! ♪
370
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,764
No! No!
371
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,182
I need whale songs!
372
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,979
(whales vocalizing underwater)
373
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,233
Marge, may I compliment
your appearance?
374
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,318
Yeah, sure.
375
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,070
You look lovely.
376
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,738
If I were to approach
you for a kiss,
377
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:50,157
would you construe that
as harassment
378
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,700
or give your
willing consent?
379
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,577
Consent, of course.
380
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:56,330
Ah. Continuing in that
line of thought,
381
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,874
may I kiss your mouth
with my mouth?
382
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,334
Just do it already!
383
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,294
(whale songs playing)
384
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:06,340
HOMER:
I had finally realized
every rock star’s dream:
385
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:10,135
hating being famous.
(strums guitar)
386
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,016
Why aren’t I happy?
387
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,769
I’m the hottest grunge artist
on Mucous Records.
388
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:21,105
Weird Al is doing a parody
of my song.
389
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:25,192
♪ Raisin bread with applesauce ♪
390
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:29,405
♪ Tony Danza,
he’s the boss ♪
391
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:38,580
♪ Brain freeze! ♪
392
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:43,085
(turns off TV)
He who is tired of Weird Al
is tired of life.
393
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,964
Look at that lighthouse.
394
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,259
That’s the ultimate expression
of phallocentric technocracy,
395
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,636
violating Mother Sky.
396
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,097
I thought they were just tall
so boats could see them.
397
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,183
No, Marge. Everything
penis-shaped is bad.
398
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,687
Look, a wedding!
399
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,523
Slavery is alive and well
in Springfield.
400
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,192
You oppose marriage?
401
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,820
Marge, marriage has oppressed
women for centuries.
402
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:13,532
But, Steffan, I would like
to get married someday.
403
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,909
(sighing)
Oh, Marge,
it’s statements like that
404
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,911
that make people say
women are stupid.
405
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,580
It’s statements
like that that...
406
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:20,789
are mean!
407
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,834
Well, it may sound mean,
but I’m just trying
to help you evolve.
408
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,046
Oh, evolve yourself,
Professor Jerk!
409
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,339
Or should I say,
Associate Professor Jerk!
410
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,759
(gasps)
411
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:37,347
I only got denied tenure because
my department head is an idiot!
412
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,768
Der, duh, what did
you say about me?
413
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,269
I’m sorry,
Professor Moose.
414
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:46,857
You’re about to get your PhD--
Pound Head Down.
415
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,276
(grunts)
416
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,904
(grunge guitar playing)
417
00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:01,580
♪ Spread yellow gunk
on my pancake heart ♪
418
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:04,958
{\an8}♪ Country-churned girl
in my grocery cart... ♪
419
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,294
Could he be singing about me?
420
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,173
(gasps)
He is!
421
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,175
♪ I paid for her dreams ♪
422
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,885
♪ She taught me to cry ♪
423
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,762
♪ Like watery knives ♪
424
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,680
♪ Like rain from my eyes ♪
425
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:24,353
♪ I can’t believe
you’re not mine ♪
426
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,985
♪ I can’t believe
you’re not mine ♪
427
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,737
♪ Mar-ge-rine ♪
428
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,741
♪ Mar-ge-rine ♪
429
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,286
♪ Mar-ge-rine ♪
430
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,665
♪ Mar-ge-rine! ♪
431
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,002
♪ Mar-ge-rine! ♪
432
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:52,256
He loves me so much
after what I did to him.
433
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,507
(song continues)
434
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,425
{\an8}("Special Report" theme plays)
435
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,262
We interrupt this "Bleak Block"
to bring you a breaking story.
436
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:01,098
Grunge trailblazers Sadgasm
have broken up.
437
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,725
(sobbing, gasping)
438
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,353
Reclusive front man Homer
Simpson has holed himself up
439
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,980
in his mansion,
as rumors swirl
440
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:10,399
about an out-of-control
narcotics addiction.
441
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,818
This is Kurt Loder reporting
from... the ’90s.
442
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,696
(gasps)
Oh, no, narcotics!
443
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:21,201
♪♪
444
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,202
(gasps)
445
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,579
Oh, my God,
you’re a junkie!
446
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,038
I need it...
447
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,665
I’m getting you off this stuff.
448
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,125
But I need it!
449
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,960
No, you don’t!
450
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:34,673
(moody instrumental plays)
451
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,384
MARGE:
Unfortunately, as I later
learned, that wasn’t heroin.
452
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,052
It was insulin.
453
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,430
Homer really did need
those injections.
454
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,892
I had become diabetic from
drinking too many Frappuccinos.
455
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,937
Homie, I got so caught up
in the world of college
456
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,107
that I forgot how
important your love was.
457
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,359
Can you find it in your
heart to take me back?
458
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,652
Of course.
459
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:56,945
The thing that stood
between us
460
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,947
--the ’90s--
is almost over.
461
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,490
You’re right.
462
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,326
But I’m worried
about what’s on the horizon:
463
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,661
reality shows,
Britney Spears,
464
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,289
the suspicious number
of home runs being hit...
465
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,707
At least we know
there’ll never be
466
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,500
a president worse
than Bill Clinton.
467
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,879
Imagine, lying in a deposition
in a civil lawsuit.
468
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,423
That’s the worst sin
a president could commit.
469
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,550
There’ll never be
a worse president. Never.
470
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,427
Never.
471
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,304
HOMER:
With the ’90s drawing
to a close,
472
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,514
and the Sydney Olympics
to look forward to,
473
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,141
our love rekindled.
474
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,935
And one moonlit night,
475
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,771
I finally had fun
at a mini-golf course.
476
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,022
(Homer chuckling)
477
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:34,816
(moaning)
478
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,276
MARGE:
Homer, stop!
479
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,738
You don’t have to tell
the kids everything!
480
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,114
What did I miss?
How did it end?
481
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,407
Did you two ever get back
together?
482
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,035
Yep, that professor couldn’t
keep me and Marge apart.
483
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:47,621
I mean, unless he had been
a little nicer at the beach.
484
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,289
(both laugh)
485
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,459
Well, that professor
did teach me one good lesson:
486
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,795
Homie is where my heart is.
487
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,131
And once we were
back together,
488
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,093
I was too happy
ever to grunge again.
489
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,096
(scoffs)
Townies.
490
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:13,188
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA
491
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,101
Shh!
492
00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:56,356
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem