1
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,798
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,988
Care to try our
new sciencewater?

3
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,824
The label
is all in lower case.

4
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,912
It's like drinking
e.e. cummings.

5
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:40,290
And each of our flavors
is named after a real word!

6
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,875
Nourish.

7
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,585
Vitality.

8
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,045
Purple.

9
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,796
Potato Lime.

10
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,632
Oh-I Love the .908-

11
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,966
New Car Smell.

12
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,804
Excuse me. I'm feeling
a little over-hydrated.

13
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,141
That's normal. It just means
your bladder's full of science.

14
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,561
Now if you'll excuse me, our
company just went bankrupt.

15
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,988
Gotta find
a place to tinkle!

16
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:13,990
Language!

17
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,704
Schools have bathrooms.
And I'm a woman,

18
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,499
so my going in unattended
won't cause a panic.

19
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,294
Hey, Mrs. Simpson.

20
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,587
Janey.

21
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,924
That's Bart's class.

22
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,011
Lousy teachers.

23
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,848
Lousy hangover.

24
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,518
This school has
really gone downhill.

25
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,065
That's an awfully
crowded classroom.

26
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,281
Three, two, one.

27
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,825
Okay, children, I've
just been granted tenure,

28
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,536
so I'm gonna sit back and
let Ralph teach for awhile.

29
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,252
Class, in what year
was one plus one?

30
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,922
The answer is
the Amazing Ralph!

31
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:16,261
The only person getting an
education here today was me,

32
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,887
in how bad it is!

33
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,140
Mrs. Simpson,
let me pour you a drink.

34
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,310
Scotch? Vodka? Gin?
I got everything you want.

35
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,895
I want my kids
in a decent school!

36
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,732
Hey, I want the "check engine"
light on my dashboard to shut off,

37
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,358
but that ain't gonna happen.

38
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:36,489
And because of cutbacks, they
were combining math with P.E.

39
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,325
They were playing
dodgebook!

40
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,745
Look at this. Springfield
Elementary's rating is so low,

41
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,748
it's more than two standard
deviations below the norm!

42
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,042
I can't understand
that math reference

43
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,169
because I went to
Springfield Elementary!

44
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:53,381
My cousin goes to a much better school.
He lives in Waverly Hills.

45
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,842
Their school system's
the best!

46
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:59,179
Their auditorium and their
gym are two different rooms.

47
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,349
We can't afford
to move to Waverly Hills.

48
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,476
Their house prices
have commas in them.

49
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,062
As it is, our lawn
is just green-painted cement.

50
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,569
I just wish I could go to a school
like that even for one week.

51
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,365
'Tis better to have learned and lost
than never to have learned at all.

52
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,617
What if we got a
small apartment there?

53
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,035
We wouldn't have to
live in it,

54
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,704
but we would have
a Waverly Hills address.

55
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,331
Mom, that's brilliant!

56
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:29,376
We could go to a school where
special doesn't always mean bad

57
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,629
and where the teachers don't have
to moonlight as telemarketers.

58
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,965
As you know, the music of
Air Supply is timeless.

59
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,802
And now their 50 biggest hits
are on four CDs.

60
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,721
Wait, wait, wait. You're
putting us in a new school?

61
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,264
What about my friends?

62
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,727
Oh! Elementary school
friends, those are forever!

63
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,272
You're always gonna be
friends with Milhouse!

64
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,568
Stand by me
Oh, stand by me.

65
00:03:55,652 --> 00:04:01,157
Oh, stand now, stand
by me, stand by me.

66
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,078
I need to rent an apartment in
the worst part of Waverly Hills,

67
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,538
the crappier the better.

68
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,747
Ah, so cheap, eh?

69
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,458
Ahso sheepay to you.

70
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,256
I can't afford this place.
It's way too fancy.

71
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,008
Sometimes there's
not a train going by.

72
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,970
Four walls?

73
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:26,099
I was thinking more of
something in a two or three.

74
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,355
No windows, no parking
and a man died here.

75
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,275
Play it cool, Homer. Don't
let her know it's perfect.

76
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,860
Yeah...

77
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,072
Well, I'm looking at a lot
of murder sites right now.

78
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,240
Where's the bedroom?

79
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,867
Right here.

80
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,287
Tempting, tempting.
Where's the bathroom?

81
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,788
In the Ethiopian restaurant

82
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,498
at the end of the block.
I'll take it!

83
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,256
Waverly Hills.

84
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:01,050
That's where I want to be!

85
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,428
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme.

86
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,972
Squatting
in Waverly Hills.

87
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,266
Waverly Hills.

88
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,394
Get education fraudulently.

89
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,646
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme.

90
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,399
Mooching off
Waverly Hills.

91
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,071
Well, welcome to
Waverly Hills.

92
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,407
Your children can start
school immediately.

93
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,742
Thank you.
Now,

94
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:29,370
you'll be getting a random visit from
the inspector sometime this month.

95
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,455
The what?

96
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,664
It's just a formality

97
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,750
to make sure
you actually live here.

98
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:37,629
Some people use the address just so
their kids can go to our schools.

99
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,841
I can see them now with their bald
heads and their blue-haired wives!

100
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,551
How I despise them.

101
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,262
Yeah. Well, here's
our inspector now.

102
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,018
Call it, friendo.

103
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,104
Heads! I mean, tails!
I mean, on its side!

104
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,569
Well done. Now let me
validate your parking.

105
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,365
That's not enough.

106
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,659
Thank you.

107
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,580
Goodnight, Marge.

108
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,627
It's so kind of you to live there so
our kids can go to a better school.

109
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,546
When do I get to
move back home?

110
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,297
You just have to
stay there

111
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:25,385
until that psychopathic school
inspector makes a surprise visit.

112
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,053
You can come home
when the heat's off.

113
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,557
The heat is off. The hissing
from the radiator is a snake.

114
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:35,228
Please just stay there till
Bart graduates high school.

115
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,481
That's another
20 or 30 years!

116
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,658
Where am I?

117
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,414
Wow! Your first day
at the new school.

118
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,833
Lisa, have fun.
Bart, don't.

119
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:04,048
Look at this place. It's
everything I've ever dreamed of.

120
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,800
On campus stables!

121
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,223
Field trips to Europe!

122
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,562
Oh, my God. Look what they
serve in the cafeteria.

123
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,109
Welcome. I'm your new
principal, Dr. Bettelheim.

124
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,819
Ooh! A doctorate!

125
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,322
Wait! Don't matriculate
those students!

126
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,615
Principal Skinner?

127
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,825
We need Lisa Simpson at
Springfield Elementary.

128
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:34,996
She's our top student and she writes the
fun facts in the morning announcements.

129
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,623
Skinner!

130
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,207
Bettelheim.

131
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,961
Superintendent Chalmers! What
are you doing at another school?

132
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:46,466
Seymour, as superintendent, I
supervise every school in the district.

133
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,094
So, you're overseeing
other people?

134
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,556
I'm sorry if you
misunderstood our arrangement.

135
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,475
What am I supposed
to tell our children?

136
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,478
They already know. And
they're happy for me.

137
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,819
Hey, neighbor.
Welcome to the jungle,

138
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,447
also known as, "Royal
Waverly Apartments."

139
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,157
Brought you
a housewarming present.

140
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,788
That was great! You mind
if I use that at work?

141
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:17,997
It's yours,
my friend.

142
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,374
Hey, are you
into poker?

143
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,834
Well, I love to play,
but I'm not very good.

144
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,046
Also, I always forget to cash
my chips back in for money.

145
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,758
This man crush
just got bromantic.

146
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,468
You make words into dudes!

147
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,428
Guy five!
Yeah!

148
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,976
Hi, newbie. I'm
Caitlin with a </span>

149
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,105
This is Kaitlyn with a </span>
And this is Kate Lynn, two words.

150
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,440
I'm Lisa, one word.

151
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,527
So, Lisa, what's your
favorite Alaska Nebraska song?

152
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,153
Mine's Touch a Star.

153
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,614
Mine's Make It Yours:
The Star Song.

154
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,700
Who's Alaska Nebraska?

155
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,910
Who's Alaska Nebraska?

156
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:59,872
Only the greatest 16-year-old
singer/actress in the world!

157
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,083
Do you even know
how lame you are?

158
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,711
I should warn you.
By using the term "lame,"

159
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,547
you're violating the Americans
with Disabilities Act.

160
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,007
Ew! That makes
you even lamer!

161
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,433
Bfillus?

162
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,642
Nice work.

163
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,060
But I always get A's!

164
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,146
At my old school,
I got so many A's,

165
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,398
the teachers didn't
even check my work!

166
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,400
Maybe that's why
you got so many A's.

167
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,570
Oh, my God.
You've been challenged.

168
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:33,489
Well, Lisa, let's see
how you respond.

169
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,417
Bart, at this school, I'm
not a brain, I'm not popular,

170
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,668
I'm not anything!

171
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,254
Not to worry. At this school,
we've got a clean slate.

172
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,174
In fact, I'm establishing
my cred right now.

173
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,551
Got you!

174
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,428
Come on!
Hey!

175
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:59,515
Take this as a warning, kids. Bart
Simpson is the ultimate bad boy.

176
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,143
Befriend him and you'll
wind up just like him,

177
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,271
a rebel who does
what he wants when he wants.

178
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:08,566
Wow. Come on,
tough guy. Let's go.

179
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,861
He's so bad!

180
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,620
Okay, I held up
my side of the bargain.

181
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,623
Now you have to go to
Ralphie's birthday party.

182
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,791
A deal's a deal.

183
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,918
And you'll stay
till we cut the cake.

184
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,836
Fine. I want
one gift bag now,

185
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,421
and one when
the party's over.

186
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,589
Fine, you got it.

187
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,969
You wanted
a powwow, Chief?

188
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,347
I know you been dealing
drugs at the high school.

189
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,642
But I'll look the other way if
you come to Ralphie's party.

190
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,353
I ain't gonna pin
no tail on no donkey!

191
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,522
Look, just come to the party.
It's gonna be fun.

192
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,981
Batman's gonna be there!

193
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,483
Batman?

194
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,069
I ain't messing with
no caped crusader.

195
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,826
Wow.

196
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,327
I wonder
what he did?

197
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,496
I heard he burned down
his old school.

198
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,414
I heard he killed
a groundskeeper.

199
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,500
Oh, my.
That's a bit rough.

200
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,591
Now to turn my sis from
loser to schmoozer.

201
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,306
Que' pasa, ladies?

202
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,516
You're that
bad boy.

203
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,393
What do you want
from us, bad boy?

204
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,519
Don't tell anyone

205
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:30,231
but my sister Lisa is best
friends with Alaska Nebraska.

206
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,566
Get out of here!
No way!

207
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,692
You so lie!

208
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,194
She didn't even know
who Alaska Nebraska was.

209
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,573
Duh! She said that because
she respects Alaska's privacy,

210
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:42,952
just as I have no doubt you guys
will respect Lisa's privacy.

211
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,048
We're approaching
bandwidth overload, sir.

212
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,967
It's gossip at
Waverly Elementary.

213
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,051
How juicy is it?

214
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,261
The juiciest!

215
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,557
Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Caitlin.

216
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,933
She knows my name!

217
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,643
No, she knows
my name!

218
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,562
Bart, your plan
worked.

219
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,857
My plan was to lie, lie like
hell, and that's what I did.

220
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,234
Well, well.

221
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,404
It seems like someone forgot
about a previous engagement

222
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,532
at the bowling alley
from 2:00 to 4:30!

223
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,112
Get him
and string him up!

224
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,076
"You have the right
to be delighted.

225
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:08,704
"If you do not have a gift,
one will be provided for you."

226
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,876
It's open.

227
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,963
Marge, I'm glad you came!
There's a kegger down the hall.

228
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,048
We can go as soon as I
desecrate this corpse.

229
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,386
I'm sorry, Marge.
Where are my manners?

230
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,722
Did you want to taunt my kill, also?
Press the X button.

231
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,474
I'm doing it!

232
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,983
I'll get us
some brewskis.

233
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,570
Cup, m'lady? Or would you care
to funnel it down thy throat?

234
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,281
Definitely a cup.

235
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,242
Foam wasn't
spilt in a day.

236
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,411
Dude, your date
is hot.

237
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,912
Does she have
a sister?

238
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,831
Two, actually. Twins.

239
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,332
Twins!

240
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,462
I was an astronaut for a little bit.
So many rules.

241
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,261
Your hair smells nice.

242
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,224
Listen. I got a place
down the hall.

243
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,600
Let's go.

244
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:19,066
So were you two in the
same accident or what?

245
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:26,032
We don't need a bed. We're
not gonna be sleeping.

246
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,116
Woo-how.!

247
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,747
We're not the only ones
having a good time.

248
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,499
What in God's name
was I thinking?

249
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,045
Maybe you could
over again.

250
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,839
I'll cook you my special
microwave burritos.

251
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:46,218
I stop the oven when the middle
is still a little bit frozen.

252
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:51,390
You know what a girl likes, mister.
So can I see you again?

253
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:55,519
How about you, me and
my wife have a two-way?

254
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,981
Hi.

255
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,359
Lisa, I re-graded yourpaper
from the other day

256
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,443
and you got an A.

257
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,528
Really?

258
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,614
My kid's a huge
Alaska Nebraska fan.

259
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,408
If she could somehow get an
autographed photo or t-shirt,

260
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,869
that would be
A+ in my book.

261
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,246
Did you just wink at me?

262
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,415
Oh, look. There are pumpkin
stickers on the floor.

263
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,602
They must have fallen off
your homework for next week,

264
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,336
which you don't
have to hand in.

265
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:27,259
I didn't think I'd get a fresh
start like this till junior high.

266
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,476
Even the Ralph of this
school speaks French.

267
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,149
I love tapas.

268
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:45,528
It's like appetizers for
a meal that never comes.

269
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,614
Try the “an
de Ieche de cabra.

270
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,033
Be sure to dig around
in the gunk.

271
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,246
Homie!

272
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,499
A key to your apartment.

273
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,503
And I've got
a present for you.

274
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,382
But you'll have to wait till
we're back at the apartment.

275
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,426
Why can't I have it now?
You got your present here.

276
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,929
Basic fairness
dictates... Oh!

277
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,393
Caitlin, hi. Do a reading
at your bat mitzvah?

278
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,023
Now my bat mitzvah means something.
By the way, I was wondering.

279
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,401
There's this Alaska Nebraska
concert this weekend,

280
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,319
and the tickets
are all sold out.

281
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,821
Well, if it's sold out,

282
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,700
even Alaska Nebraska's best friend
couldn't do anything about that.

283
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,244
Can't build more seats.

284
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,746
Then get us backstage passes.

285
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,250
Surprise!

286
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,711
I redecorated!

287
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,589
Where are my video games,
my X-Box? My Wii?

288
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:51,760
You don't need a Wii now that I'm
here, because you and me make us.

289
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,346
You know, you're starting to
remind me a lot of my first wife.

290
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,057
We can talk about that
after brunch with my mother.

291
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,521
Miss Nebraska,

292
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,649
your purified water and
fried chicken skins are here.

293
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,240
I am so tired
of fans in my food.

294
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:17,953
Alaska, we've never met, but
everyone thinks I'm your best friend.

295
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,496
Wait, wait.
Let me guess.

296
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,832
I'm supposed to give
all your best friends

297
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,876
front row seats
and backstage passes.

298
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,044
Could you?

299
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,462
First, riddle me this.

300
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,881
What's your favorite
episode of my show?

301
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,216
You have a show?

302
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,386
Look, can you
please, please

303
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,389
help a poor little girl who
was just trying to fit in?

304
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,892
It's what half your
songs are about.

305
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:43,520
You know what? I was a little
girl who didn't fit in, either.

306
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,899
So you know what I did? I
got a new nose, I got famous,

307
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,735
and now I date the starting point
guard for the L.A. Clippers.

308
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,155
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go meditate and smoke.

309
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,409
Wait. I want to
ask you something.

310
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,870
Could you tell I lip-synched
that whole speech?

311
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,540
You know what? I was a
little girl who didn't fit in, either.

312
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,335
So you know what I did?
I got a new nose. I...

313
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:07,628
That's amazing.

314
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,004
I know. Security.

315
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,341
You know, I think those shirts
should say "Insecurity."

316
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,927
Because if you feel you have to
put what you are on your shirt,

317
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,595
then I feel
sorry for you.

318
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,473
Do you feel sorry for me?
Guess not.

319
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,397
Where have you been?
We have mirrors to hang!

320
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,523
I went to a movie.

321
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,483
Without me?
How'd you get there?

322
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,277
I drove.
Without me?

323
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,071
Sometimes I think this
50-square-foot apartment

324
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,739
isn't big enough
for the both of us!

325
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,950
Fine! You can have
your key back!

326
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,620
I got it halfway.

327
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,289
It went back.

328
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,085
City inspector.

329
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:54,216
I'm here to verify that this is the
residence of Bart and Lisa Simpson.

330
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,734
Hello, friendos.

331
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,823
Here comes Lisa with
our backstage passes.

332
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,116
Yay!

333
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,577
People, I'm not
who you think I am.

334
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,830
I'm just a transfer student who
wanted to make some friends.

335
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,292
Yes, I lied to you. But you
only liked me because of a lie.

336
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,543
So if you think about it...

337
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,878
Get the liar!

338
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,514
Those are
last year's shoes!

339
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,558
Kill her!
Also, it's Lisa!

340
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:45,934
Kill her twice!

341
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,022
Go, Dog. Go
with pages missing.

342
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,776
Lego spaceship,
poorly assembled.

343
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:58,030
Clearly this is the home of
elementary school children. Too bad.

344
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:02,034
I was looking forward to killing you
and making it look like a suicide.

345
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,078
Thank you, friendo.

346
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,537
I am not
your friendo.

347
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,955
But I thought...

348
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,874
You said...

349
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:13,420
Mom! Dad! I have to leave Waverly
Hills and never come back!

350
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,505
I gotta get back, too!

351
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,941
I just remembered I was playing
hide and seek with Milhouse.

352
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:20,469
Three weeks? This has gotta
be some kind of record!

353
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,554
I can%leave
my bachelor pad.

354
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,847
My bros
will miss me.

355
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,015
No, we won't.

356
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,434
Your comments when we
watch movies aren't funny.

357
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,729
Why do you watch comedies if you
don't want to hear more jokes?

358
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:35,984
Please. I just want to go back to a
place where I'm ostracized for being me,

359
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,945
not for who
I pretend to be.

360
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,281
What do you think, Marge? Maybe
we've outgrown our first apartment.

361
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,536
Yeah. A house in the suburbs
does sound pretty nice right now,

362
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:49,206
although I am gonna miss
our little love nest.

363
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,924
Get a room!

364
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,759
Come on, boy. Be cool.
But...

365
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,594
Be cool or
you're grounded.

366
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,853
Waverly Hills.

367
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,814
That's where I want to be!

368
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,983
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme.

369
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,610
Squatting in Waverly Hills.

370
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,946
Waverly Hills.

371
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,991
Get education fraudulently.

372
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,285
Gimme gimme
Gimme gimme.

373
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,079
Mooching off
Waverly Hills.

374
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:56,899
English - US - PSDH