1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,171
(electrical buzzing)
2
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,889
(snoring)
3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,142
Oh, for the
love of...
4
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:18,977
-Huh?
-(cocks gun)
5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:19,978
(groans)
6
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,730
(sighs)
7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,523
Ah, Halloween:
8
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,985
the one night when we can walk
the streets undetected.
9
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,029
Hey, lame-os.
10
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,156
Turner Classic
Movies called.
11
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,158
They want
their costumes back.
12
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,618
(taunting laughter)
13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,787
We lame-os?
14
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,706
I have a remedy
for our predicament.
15
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708
Into this costumery.
16
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,168
(sinister laugh)
17
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,714
-Yeah?
-Oh.
18
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:48,882
(party music playing)
19
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,219
(doorbell rings)
20
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,598
(grunting)
21
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,641
Friends of Homer’s?
22
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,976
They’re not my friends.
23
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,853
We brought a bottle of booze.
24
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,230
Boooooze!
25
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,857
Come in! Come in!
26
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:06,900
(grunts)
27
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,526
(owl hooting)
28
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,823
(chuckling)
29
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,116
Mmm.
30
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,451
Good!
31
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,244
Beer good.
32
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,789
You good.
33
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:21,831
(both moan)
34
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,041
(doorbell rings)
35
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,001
(gasps)
36
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,923
(all scream)
37
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,926
You said you were going out
to kill children tonight.
38
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,427
We were,
39
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,930
then we bumped into
our old friend, the-the-the--
40
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,431
my man here!
41
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,683
You’ll be sucking
your own blood tonight.
42
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,769
Let’s get ’em, girls!
43
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,521
(monsters groaning)
44
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,814
-Bad Wolf!
-(whining)
45
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,023
Bad!
46
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,650
Lighten up, ladies.
47
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,985
It’s not cheating
when you’re wearing a costume!
48
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,154
(screams): Not the face!
49
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,968
It’s time to announce my choice
to represent our class
50
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,095
at the National Reading Roundup.
51
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,055
{\an8}(chuckling): Here it comes.
52
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,683
{\an8}My choice is...
Hubert Wong!
53
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,101
{\an8}-(applause)
-Wha...?
54
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,769
{\an8}Hooray for Different-Face!
55
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,813
{\an8}Congratulations,
Hubert.
56
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,773
{\an8}Or should I congratulate
your tutor:
57
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,984
{\an8}Amelia,
at the Homework Factory!
58
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,027
{\an8}Your victory is tainted!
59
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,071
{\an8}-Asterisk! Asterisk!
-Lisa,
60
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,364
{\an8}don’t take it personally.
61
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,867
{\an8}I barely spent any time
on this decision.
62
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,451
{\an8}Asterisk! Asterisk!
63
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,494
{\an8}Asterisk!
64
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,833
{\an8}Lisa Simpson
in detention?!
65
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,460
{\an8}My horoscope told me I’d see
something interesting today,
66
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,713
{\an8}but I thought that meant
the horoscope itself!
67
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,798
{\an8}Stupid Miss Hoover.
68
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,551
{\an8}(grumbling)
69
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,178
{\an8}I heard about your run-in
with Hoover.
70
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,387
{\an8}Aren’t teachers
the worst?
71
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,097
{\an8}I don’t want to
talk about it.
72
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,057
{\an8}Listen, you’re
a smart kid.
73
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,726
{\an8}I bet you like ideas.
74
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}I do.
75
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,188
{\an8}Well, I just had a whopper!
76
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,982
{\an8}What if you got revenge
on Krabappel for me,
77
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,735
{\an8}and I got revenge
on Hoover for you?
78
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:14,736
{\an8}Crisscross!
79
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,070
{\an8}Interesting.
80
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,907
{\an8}With no obvious motive,
no one would suspect us.
81
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}Exactly! Crisscross!
82
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,076
{\an8}-Do we have a deal?
-Thanks,
83
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,161
{\an8}but I’ll pass.
84
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,329
{\an8}If I say "crisscross"
one more time,
85
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,330
{\an8}-will that change your mind?
-Listen,
86
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,123
{\an8}you’re a persistent
fellow, but I...
87
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,541
{\an8}-Crisscross!
-I’m in.
88
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,585
♪♪
89
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,143
{\an8}Bart, have you established
your alibi?
90
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,603
{\an8}Yep. I’m at the tennis match.
91
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,313
{\an8}And people will remember
you were there?
92
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,232
{\an8}I’m pretty sure they will.
93
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,316
{\an8}Mm-hmm.
94
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,193
{\an8}Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
95
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,948
{\an8}(doorbell rings)
96
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,283
{\an8}Hello?
97
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,035
{\an8}Hello? Oh!
98
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,120
{\an8}I’ve been ding-dong-ditched!
99
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,497
{\an8}(sinister chuckle)
100
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,249
{\an8}Crisscross.
101
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,126
{\an8}(cackles)
102
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,171
{\an8}You should’ve seen the look
on Krabappel’s face!
103
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,340
{\an8}And you should’ve seen
the look on Hoover’s face.
104
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,258
{\an8}In fact,
105
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,759
{\an8}here it is.
106
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,010
{\an8}(gasps)
107
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,470
{\an8}You killed her?
108
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:23,972
{\an8}Right. Like we agreed.
109
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,431
{\an8}I never said "kill"!
110
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,808
{\an8}Yeah, ’cause you’re smart.
111
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,977
{\an8}You don’t say "kill,"
you say "prank."
112
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,561
{\an8}Like Mom and Dad
say "snuggle"
113
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,021
{\an8}when what they
really mean is
114
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,314
{\an8}"let’s lock the
door and hug."
115
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,441
{\an8}Well, I didn’t kill
Mrs. Krabappel!
116
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,735
{\an8}So, all you did was ring
her doorbell and run?
117
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,904
{\an8}Yeah, ding-dong-ditch!
118
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,156
{\an8}"Ding-dong-ditch"
means you kill her,
119
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,492
{\an8}then you throw
into a ditch.
120
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,536
{\an8}Geez, pick up a book.
121
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,870
{\an8}You’re a monster!
122
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956
{\an8}A deal’s a deal,
little sister.
123
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,958
{\an8}Tomorrow after school,
go to her house and T.P. her.
124
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,002
{\an8}That’s it?
Just T.P. her?
125
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,545
{\an8}Yeah, torture and pulverize her.
126
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,714
{\an8}Then ding-dong-ditch the body
and we’re even.
127
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,424
{\an8}I think I’m gonna
be sick.
128
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,262
(rhythmic chopping)
129
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,894
Oh, Lisa!
130
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,814
Come hold this blade so it
doesn’t slice through my neck.
131
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,692
Come on.
132
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,235
I trust you completely.
133
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,827
Slice her like a bagel!
134
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,911
Ah, got it!
135
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,121
{\an8}Thanks, Lisa.
136
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,914
{\an8}Last thing I want is
to be sliced in two--
137
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:32,999
{\an8}you know, like a bagel.
138
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,049
(water running)
139
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,300
(gasps)
140
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,468
Bart?
141
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,178
I’ve been waiting
for you...
142
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,305
and trying to figure out
how girls pee.
143
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,850
Sorry, Bart, I couldn’t do it!
144
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,810
There’s got to be another way.
145
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,437
What if I gave you
homework help?
146
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,980
I won’t give you
the answers,
147
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,191
but I’ll give you the tools
to find the answers yourself.
148
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,442
No dice.
149
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,943
Either take care of Krabappel,
150
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,821
or Groundskeeper Willie will say
he saw you kill Miss Hoover.
151
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,323
Why would Willie do that?
152
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,699
Let’s just say...
153
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,950
he owes me a favor.
154
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,285
(screams)
155
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,412
Crisscross!
156
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,373
Like the plaid
on me kilt!
157
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,415
You’re not wearing
a kilt.
158
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,625
Uh-oh.
159
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:16,876
All right, Bart.
160
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,419
I guess I have
no choice.
161
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,296
I have to kill...
162
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,006
-you!
-(screams)
163
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,538
♪♪
164
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,671
-(bells ringing)
-KIDS: Ice cream!
165
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,756
(kids cheering)
166
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,009
(merry-go-round squeaking)
167
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,678
-(growling)
-(screams)
168
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:12,807
Go ahead, do it.
169
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,142
You’re no different from me.
170
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,601
We’re made from the same dinna.
171
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,770
It’s pronounced D-N-A,
you idiot.
172
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,689
And we are not the same.
173
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,984
I am not a murderer,
and I never will be!
174
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:24,902
(groans)
175
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,696
-(gasping)
-(applause)
176
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,698
Well done, Lisa!
177
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,950
It was an accident,
I swear!
178
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,952
Sure. An accident.
179
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:33,995
Ha!
180
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,998
Ay caramba, you little snot.
181
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,051
I’m here at Krustyburger
for the launch
182
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,887
of the highly anticipated
"Burger Squared."
183
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,430
Krusty, what
can you tell us
184
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,724
about this fantastic
new sandwich?
185
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:55,850
I’m glad you
asked, Kent.
186
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,101
We start
187
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,896
with Grade A beef,
feed that to other cows,
188
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,356
then kill them
and serve the unholy results
189
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,400
on a seven-grain bun.
190
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,651
Burger Squared!
191
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,987
The math checks out!
192
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,572
Cows eating cows?!
193
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,157
That’s an abomination!
194
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,325
Now, Lisa,
195
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,868
you’re a vegetarian,
196
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,037
but these cows have made
a different choice.
197
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,873
And now, this lucky reporter
will be the first human
198
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,834
to sample this delicious crime
against nature.
199
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,085
Mmm.
200
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,587
Juicy, flavorful,
201
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,297
with just a hint of...
202
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,549
(angry zombie snarl)
203
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,760
Hey!
204
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,720
That’s my check-cashing
arm, you stupid...
205
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,305
(enraged zombie roar)
206
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,806
(screaming)
207
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,017
(roaring)
208
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,019
(people screaming)
209
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,527
{\an8}(all roaring)
210
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,613
A little tip: you might want
to wash me before you eat me.
211
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,865
-(roaring)
-Thank you.
212
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,201
The munchers got Moe!
213
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,869
Well, we’re not going
out to help him.
214
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,872
We have no idea what hideous
creatures might be out there!
215
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,708
-(pounding window)
-Please, let me in!
216
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,043
How do I know
you’re not a muncher?
217
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:07,046
I’m your father
and I need your help!
218
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,173
I can’t make sense
of that muncher talk!
219
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,259
-(ferocious snarls)
-(Grampa screaming)
220
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,052
-(munching)
-(body thuds, screaming stops)
221
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,011
(dog howling)
222
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,054
Hungry.
223
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:17,223
So hungry.
224
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,599
There’s nothing to eat.
225
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,810
Except this.
226
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,396
There’s gotta be something yummy
out there.
227
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,398
(electrical buzzing)
228
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,149
(roaring)
229
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,653
(gasps)
230
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,948
A hamburger!
231
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,577
(grunting)
232
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,036
(humming)
233
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,371
(munching)
234
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,039
(chomping, belching)
235
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:42,915
(gasps)
236
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,917
Bart ate
a tainted burger!
237
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,669
I’ll bash him
with this book!
238
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,546
-(grunts)
-(screams)
239
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,173
Dad!
No! That’s the last book
in the world!
240
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,258
Really?
241
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,051
Yes! It’s-- oh.
242
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,011
Go ahead.
243
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,680
Wait!
244
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,140
The burger didn’t change me!
245
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:01,017
I’m not a muncher!
246
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,560
Oh, my God.
247
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,187
If Bart could eat the burger
and survive,
248
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,566
then maybe he can yield the key
to an anti-muncher vaccine!
249
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,984
(gagging)
250
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,903
Then we must keep this boy
safe from harm!
251
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,822
Better call Dr. Hibbert.
252
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,949
-(grunting)
-(groaning)
253
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,075
(sighing)
254
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,369
Well, I suppose
Bart could be immune--
255
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,496
-(roaring)
-a genetic "chosen one,"
if you will.
256
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,581
(chuckles)
257
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,499
If so, secrets locked
258
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,586
within his blood could
be the key to saving humanity.
259
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,004
You must get him immediately
260
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,881
to the safe zone,
just outside of town.
261
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,925
If you see my wife,
tell her I love her.
262
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,510
You mean tell her
I love her?
263
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,595
Or I meaning you?
264
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,138
(screaming)
265
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,806
(dial tone droning)
266
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,725
Mm, I’ll just
high-five her.
267
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,810
(door creaking)
268
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:50,316
(whispering):
Now remember, no loud noises.
269
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,568
(door squeaks open)
270
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,154
Oh, man, that
breeze feels good!
271
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,114
(munchers growling,
Homer and Bart scream)
272
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,075
(whimpering)
273
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,827
To the panic room!
274
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,412
We don’t have
a panic room!
275
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,164
To the panic room store!
276
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,749
(munchers growling)
277
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,335
(muncher Grampa growling)
278
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:11,295
(two gunshots)
279
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,964
(à la Terminator): Come with me
if you want to live.
280
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,841
(growling)
281
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,053
Another politician
who can’t keep his promises.
282
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,262
APU:
Psst!
283
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,806
This way.
284
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,433
Well, this day can’t
get any crazier.
285
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,771
(munchers clamoring, growling)
286
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,028
(engine revving)
287
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,949
Apu, how did you survive?
288
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,617
Well, as a vegetarian,
289
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,994
I did not consume
any tainted burgers,
290
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,164
and as a convenience store
owner, I am armed to the teeth.
291
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,586
We need windows, too!
292
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,798
-(tires squealing)
-(growling)
293
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:59,135
-(growling)
-(glass shattering)
294
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,636
Shoot her!
295
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,513
(gun cocking)
296
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,806
I can’t shoot her.
297
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,057
She’s Lisa’s godmother.
298
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,559
You can apologize in hell!
299
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,852
I guess I could.
300
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,146
(gunshot, groans)
301
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,447
(engine revving)
302
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,115
(yelling)
303
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,700
-(crash)
-Hmm?
304
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,118
What the...?
305
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:24,952
(sighs)
306
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,454
I will get
out and push.
307
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:30,332
No matter what, Bart must
make it to the safe zone.
308
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,002
(growling)
309
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,045
(grunting)
310
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,464
(engine revving)
311
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:40,050
That was so noble of Apu
to give his life for us.
312
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,552
Where are you going?!
313
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,554
You were supposed to stop
at the bottom and wait for me!
314
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,848
(munchers growling)
315
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,268
(truck sputtering)
316
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,695
I don’t see the
safe zone anywhere.
317
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,988
Let’s play a game.
318
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,823
Who gets to carry
the chosen one?
319
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,325
Ow!
320
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:08,329
Aw, did the chosen one hurt
his chosen little noggin?
321
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:11,248
Ow! Ow! Ow!
322
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,375
Ow! Quit it. Ow!
323
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,169
-Quit it!
-(flies buzzing)
324
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,420
Well, well, well.
325
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:20,049
Who’s an unproductive
worker now?
326
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,801
Got your nose.
327
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,135
(laughs)
328
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,012
(shrieks)
Why you...
329
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,096
(grunts)
330
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,808
(growls)
331
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,644
(growling)
332
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,438
Homie, where
have you been?
333
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,482
(jabbering)
334
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,026
Dad, are you becoming a muncher?
335
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:42,404
I think the better brains is,
are you brains a brains?
336
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,781
(growling)
337
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:46,075
Where do you want it,
the mouth or the eyes?
338
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,827
-Ooh, mouth.
-Eyes it is.
339
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,204
No! When we get you
to the safe zone,
340
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,997
we can cure your father!
341
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,249
Safe zone?
342
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,792
You really think
there’s a safe zone?
343
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,210
(cackling)
344
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,212
Well, you’re right.
It’s right over there.
345
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,089
-(all clamoring)
-Let us in!
346
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:01,048
(shotgun blast)
347
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,341
Let us in.
348
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,260
We have the chosen one!
349
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,262
CROWD:
Oh...!
350
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,763
Welcome, son.
351
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,599
To survive, all we must
do is eat your flesh.
352
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,059
MARGE:
Hold it right there, bub.
353
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,812
What kind of civilized people
eat the body
354
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,648
and blood of their savior?
355
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,941
(uneasy murmur)
356
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,193
There must be another way.
357
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,029
Hmm...
358
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,781
(kids shouting playfully)
359
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,616
LISA:
Time has passed.
360
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,034
Children play in the streets.
361
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,328
At night,
there is music and laughter.
362
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:35,332
And all we had to do was let
Bart take a bath in our food.
363
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,251
Hey, Lis,
want some soup?
364
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,004
(sneaky chuckle)
365
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,005
(sighs)
366
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,549
Mm-hmm.
367
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,851
(moaning)
368
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:59,940
♪ Oh, why can’t no girl love
a guy with this mug ♪
369
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:06,405
♪ Whose mother declared
you’re too ugly to hug? ♪
370
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,370
How’s about pouring
me a beer, ugly?
371
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,873
How about some
of my new microbrew?
372
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,083
Must be another mouse
in the pipe.
373
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,960
Let’s see
if this cobra solves it.
374
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,962
(hissing)
375
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,298
Nothing.
376
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,883
Huh.
377
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:30,930
♪ Just once I wish cupid
would draw back his bow ♪
378
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:35,643
♪ And shoot me a cutie
whose standards are low... ♪
379
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,895
(whoops)
An unattended tap!
380
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,939
Like taking beer
from a baby!
381
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:44,944
♪ I’m unlucky in love,
I’m unlucky in luck... ♪
382
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:45,861
(Homer screams)
383
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:46,695
Oh!
384
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,529
Oh, my God, Homer!
385
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,323
Just try to relax.
386
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,617
Okay, don’t relax!
Don’t relax!
387
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,036
Oh, Marge, the most
awful thing just happened!
388
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,245
What is it, Moe?
389
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,040
Um...
390
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,335
She’s so beautiful,
it makes my heart take wing!
391
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,503
Look at me!
392
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,838
I can fl... Ow! Ow! Aah!
393
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:07,716
(groans)
394
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218
(sighs)
395
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,511
(grunts)
396
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:13,722
Um, Marge, Homer,
uh, just ran out
397
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,599
saying he don’t love you,
and he never did.
398
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,767
He what?!
399
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,228
HOMER:
Help me!
400
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,688
That, uh... that’s me.
401
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,106
I’ve been taking
ventriloquism lessons.
402
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:23,440
(laughs)
403
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,317
HOMER:
Help me or kill me!
404
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,486
Huh? Huh!
405
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:30,197
Now, let Dr. Moe cure
what ails you.
406
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,294
There’s something odd
about this beer.
407
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,214
-(gasps)
-♪ It tastes
like cuddling ♪
408
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:50,050
♪ It tastes like clean clothes ♪
409
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:55,097
♪ It tastes like hot steaming
cocoa mixed with rainbows... ♪
410
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,724
-It does?
-♪ Full-bodied ♪
411
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,225
♪ Full-blooded ♪
412
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:01,395
♪ It’s such a lovely blend ♪
413
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:06,191
♪ It’s jolly, it’s loyal, like
drinking your best friend! ♪
414
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,651
♪ I stopped my crying ♪
415
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,946
♪ Why, I don’t know ♪
416
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:16,952
♪ But this rosy, cozy,
bubbles-in-my-nose-y ♪
417
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:21,832
♪ Makes me wanna have... Mo’! ♪
418
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:24,043
(applause, cheering
and whistling)
419
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,090
This is the best
musical in light years.
420
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:33,260
Light years measure
distance, not time.
421
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,430
You know
what I meant.
422
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:39,641
(orchestra plays)
423
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,979
So, Marge, uh, Homer’s been gone
a whole week, huh?
424
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,357
Ooh, in an unrelated matter,
I just put on cologne
425
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,651
and shaved my knuckles.
426
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,321
I’m still hoping
Homie will come back.
427
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,032
Marge, I’ve got some
bad news to give you.
428
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,992
It’s a letter from Homer
on my stationery
429
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,786
in my handwriting,
430
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,746
using my idioms
and speech patterns.
431
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,081
And it begins, "Dear Midge:
432
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,124
you probably hate me by now,
433
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,210
and if you don’t,
what’s wrong which youse?
434
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,003
But don’t give up on men.
435
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,756
Bart, Linda and the other one
there need a dad."
436
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,424
That does sound like Homer.
437
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,968
"The reason
I left you is simple."
438
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,261
"I’m gay."?!
439
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,930
Yeah, read on. It gets gayer.
440
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,724
(talk-sings):
♪ While turning gay
the other day ♪
441
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,393
♪ A thought occurred to me ♪
442
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:29,525
♪ I’d like to try most every guy
from here to Timbuk-tee ♪
443
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,236
(singing):
♪ Oh, there’s so many men
around the world ♪
444
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,862
♪ Of every shape and size ♪
445
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,449
♪ I want to nibble on Jamaican
jerks and teriyaki thighs ♪
446
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,785
♪ I want
to French-kiss a Frenchman ♪
447
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,245
♪ And spoon an English duke ♪
448
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,579
♪ ’Cause frankly, dear ♪
449
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,374
♪ To not be queer
just makes me want to puke ♪
450
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,669
♪ So find yourself a man
who’ll want you in the sack ♪
451
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:51,213
♪ I recommend
our dear old friend ♪
452
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:57,219
♪ Bartender Moe Szyslak! ♪
453
00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:01,223
♪ Letters don’t lie! ♪
454
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,558
So, what do think, Marge?
455
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,184
Will you give Moe a throw?
456
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,936
Hmm, well...
457
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,355
Maybe you need a little more
milk of amnesia.
458
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:11,024
Dang, I’m missing
the secret ingredient.
459
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,695
Uh, let me squeeze some more out
of the secret ingredient bag.
460
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:15,988
(laughs)
Uh-oh.
461
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,865
Looks like I got to wing it
a little bit here.
462
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,075
The other day,
I ran into an Irishman.
463
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,660
(with Irish accent):
Oh, really?
464
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,828
No, O’Reilly.
465
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,121
(laughs, clears throat)
466
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,081
Oh, uh, I see we’re,
uh, back in business.
467
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,875
(groaning)
468
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,252
Now, a little more hemoglobin,
and your wife will be disrobin’.
469
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,129
-(grunts)
-(groans)
470
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,755
(phone ringing)
471
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:34,965
I can’t talk now.
472
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,508
I’m watching a play.
473
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,303
You want how much
for a radiator?
474
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,138
Is that new or rebuilt?
475
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,140
(laughs)
476
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:44,683
There.
477
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,647
Oh. Oh. Oh, my God,
I’ve never felt so...
478
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,816
uncreeped-out by you!
479
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,276
Marge, I loves youse.
480
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,986
Will youse be mines?
481
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,740
I guess it is time to move on.
482
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,164
MOE: Before you do, I just
got to warn you, Marge.
483
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:09,875
♪ My taste for romance
is kinda perverse ♪
484
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:13,337
♪ I can only make love
in the back of a hearse ♪
485
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:16,882
♪ Plus I gotta be dressed
as a Civil War nurse ♪
486
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,927
♪ And then when I’m finished,
I’ll go through your purse ♪
487
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,595
♪ But you could do worse ♪
488
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,305
♪ I could do worse ♪
489
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,432
♪ We’re proof that you ♪
490
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,434
-MOE: ♪ You could do worse ♪
-MARGE: ♪ I could do worse ♪
491
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:31,772
♪ She couldn’t possibly
do worse! ♪
492
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:34,399
(grunting)
493
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:39,738
Homer, does this mean
you still love me?
494
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,531
Of course I do, Marge.
495
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,618
Can you still love a man
who’s half-beer?
496
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,411
I always have.
497
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,833
To love!
498
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,127
(both sigh)
499
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:58,382
(to Simpsons theme):
♪ We hope you enjoyed
this year’s Halloween show ♪
500
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:02,135
♪ Treehouse of Horror,
number XX! ♪
501
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,845
Shh!
502
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,015
(snoring)
503
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,768
(snoring, mumbling)
504
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,602
(screams)
505
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,357
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem