1 00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:04,921 -♪ Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy ♪ -♪ Hey, what up girl? ♪ 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,132 ♪ Grab my glasses, I'm out the door ♪ 3 00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,634 -♪ I'm gonna hit this city ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ 4 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,052 ♪ Before I leave, brush my teeth ♪ 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,013 ♪ With a bottle of Jack ♪ 6 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,681 ♪ 'Cause when I leave for the night ♪ 7 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,474 ♪ I ain't coming back ♪ 8 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,394 ♪ I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes ♪ 9 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,229 ♪ Trying on all our clothes, clothes ♪ 10 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,565 ♪ Boys blowing up our phones, phones ♪ 11 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:27,610 ♪ Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs ♪ 12 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,696 ♪ Pulling up to the parties ♪ 13 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:33,241 ♪ Tryin' to get a little bit tipsy ♪ 14 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:34,617 ♪ Don't stop, make it pop ♪ 15 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,120 ♪ DJ, blow my speakers up ♪ 16 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,663 ♪ Tonight, I'm-a fight ♪ 17 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,999 ♪ Till we see the sunlight ♪ 18 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,667 ♪ Tick-tock, on the clock ♪ 19 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,711 ♪ But the party don't stop ♪ 20 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,213 ♪ No, oh, ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 21 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,049 ♪ Oh, ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 22 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,800 ♪ Don't stop, make it pop ♪ 23 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,719 ♪ DJ, blow my speakers up ♪ 24 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,679 ♪ Tonight, I'm-a fight ♪ 25 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,723 ♪ Till we see the sunlight ♪ 26 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,683 ♪ Tick-tock, on the clock ♪ 27 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,685 ♪ But the party don't stop ♪ 28 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,520 ♪ No, oh, ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 29 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,272 ♪ Oh, ooh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ 30 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,910 {\an8}(wind whipping) 31 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,455 {\an8}-(upbeat instrumental rock music plays) -(sighs) 32 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,624 {\an8}Oh, yeah! 33 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,709 {\an8}Ooh,yeah! 34 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:28,421 {\an8}Duffman is here to refill your beers! 35 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,714 {\an8}Okay. Thank you. 36 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,842 {\an8}Now, for the only thing better than Duff. 37 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,469 {\an8}-(overlapping chatter) -Better than Duff? 38 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,179 {\an8}Free Duff stuff! 39 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,263 {\an8}-Oh, yeah! -Oh! 40 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,558 {\an8}Now, who wants... beer cozies?! 41 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,935 {\an8}A shirt that says "Yo!" 42 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,937 {\an8}Sassy seat cushions! 43 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:48,650 {\an8}And flash drives for your PC so you can take your data and 44 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,944 {\an8}back it up! 45 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,654 {\an8}-Whoa! -I need some of that. 46 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,823 {\an8}And now, Duffman has a dinner date 47 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,533 {\an8}with his estranged daughter. 48 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,661 {\an8}Must not bring up why she dropped out of college. 49 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,496 {\an8}It's too sad! 50 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,790 {\an8}Huh. Huh. Hey. Ha! Ha! 51 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,875 {\an8}Guess what company 52 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:09,170 {\an8}had a giveaway at Moe's last night? 53 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,213 {\an8}No, I won't. 54 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,757 {\an8}Keep guessing. 55 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,717 {\an8}What's it say, boy? 56 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,052 {\an8}Responsibly. 57 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,554 {\an8}Oh! 58 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,973 {\an8}Kid, you've been staring 59 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,684 {\an8}at these gelatin desserts for 15 minutes. 60 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,144 {\an8}Pick one! 61 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,354 {\an8}It's so hard to decide. 62 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,107 {\an8}Is the yellow one lemon or pineapple? 63 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,567 {\an8}It's your pet canary. 64 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,568 {\an8}Now scram! 65 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,695 {\an8}(groans) 66 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,613 {\an8}-Hey. -Haw haw! 67 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,531 {\an8}You're a spaz! 68 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,408 {\an8}That's not true. 69 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,743 {\an8}First of all, Milhouse fell because you tripped him. 70 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,247 {\an8}Secondly, spaz is short for spastic diplegic, 71 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,833 {\an8}someone who suffers from a serious medical condition. 72 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,752 {\an8}Thirdly, your "haw haw," through overuse, 73 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,588 {\an8}has lost its power. 74 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,173 {\an8}Wow. 75 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,383 {\an8}I bow before your logic. 76 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,551 {\an8}(grunts) 77 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,595 {\an8}(groaning) 78 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,639 {\an8}Excuse me. 79 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,184 {\an8}I couldn't help but notice how logically you argue. 80 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,602 {\an8}(laughs) 81 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,646 {\an8}Well, I am one: flattered, and two: intrigued. 82 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,814 {\an8}Lisa Simpson. 83 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,149 {\an8}Ms. Dubinsky. 84 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,610 {\an8}I'd like to invite you to join our debate team. 85 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,695 {\an8}I didn't know we had a debate team. 86 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,780 {\an8}Well, it's the one extracurricular activity 87 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,783 {\an8}that can't be cut, because it requires no equipment. 88 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,160 {\an8}We're low on funding, 89 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,913 {\an8}so Ralph Wiggum will be standing in as your lectern. 90 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,166 {\an8}I'm a furniture! 91 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,420 {\an8}And that is why 92 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,255 {\an8}hybrid car buyers should be given rebates 93 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,799 {\an8}paid for by taxes on hamburgers. 94 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,509 {\an8}(blows horn) 95 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,344 {\an8}Thank you, Lisa. 96 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,178 {\an8}Excuse me. 97 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,221 {\an8}The podiums are needed 98 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,722 {\an8}in the art room as easels. 99 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:46,184 {\an8}BOTH: Yay! 100 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,769 {\an8}Megan, cross-examination. 101 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,438 {\an8}What if someone's driving an old, but functioning, car? 102 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:51,689 {\an8}Wouldn't the carbon required 103 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,525 {\an8}to create a new hybrid exceed the savings in gas? 104 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,735 {\an8}Initially yes, but... 105 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,363 {\an8}And isn't most electricity in the United States 106 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,615 {\an8}ultimately derived from the burning of coal? 107 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,659 {\an8}Currently. However, solar and wind are... 108 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,828 {\an8}The sun and the breeze-- the two things you know a lot about. 109 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,955 {\an8}Right, Blondie? 110 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:07,872 {\an8}Blondie?! 111 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,582 {\an8}Like, totally. 112 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,626 {\an8}Why don't we get a bitchin' new perm 113 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,669 {\an8}with daddy's credit card? 114 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,212 {\an8}(laughter) 115 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,755 {\an8}First of all, 116 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,424 {\an8}my father no longer has any functioning credit cards. 117 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,968 {\an8}Secondly, how dare you refer to... 118 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,470 {\an8}-Ooh, you can count to two. -Aah. 119 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,264 {\an8}Do you need some ice on your head? 120 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,682 -(laughter) -(gasps) 121 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:26,724 I... I... 122 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,768 (horn blows) 123 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,770 The winner by a hair-- 124 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,231 a brown hair-- Megan! 125 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,440 Ooh! 126 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,692 Sir, that hollow mountain in Nevada 127 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,902 that was supposed to hold a million years 128 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,737 of nuclear waste is full. 129 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,532 Did they jump on the pile to smoosh it down? 130 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,201 It went down in one place and up in another. 131 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,495 We need somewhere else to dispose of this plutonium. 132 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,872 Eh, just find the biggest idiot on our payroll 133 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,624 and slip it in his bag. 134 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,877 (humming) 135 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,713 BURNS: Ooh! 136 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,756 That's a bingo. 137 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,759 Mmm. Good mac and cheese. 138 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,969 I've had better. 139 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:06,306 Down at the train station. 140 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,849 I'll have to check it out sometime. 141 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,559 {\an8}Mmm! 142 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,020 {\an8}The best mac and cheese I've ever had 143 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,980 {\an8}is at a bowling alley in Ogdenville. 144 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,523 Mm, I am pretty full. 145 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,317 Bread crumbs on the top. 146 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,028 I'm on my way! 147 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,699 That bag-- surely it's attended. 148 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,745 Unattended bag! 149 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,829 (screaming) 150 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,832 All panic! 151 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,500 (screaming and shouting) 152 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,840 So, what do you think? 153 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,925 I think we're gonna blow it up 154 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,136 and let the bleeding heart liberals ask questions later. 155 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:48,806 Well, now, why can't it be blown up by a woman of color? 156 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,017 Five, four. 157 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,227 No time for a full countdown. 158 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,191 Ooh, it's dinner time! 159 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,442 (grunts, sighs) 160 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,194 (humming) 161 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:05,990 This just in. 162 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,452 The suspicious bag detonated at Springfield Union Station today 163 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,912 contained deadly plutonium, 164 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,539 which can only mean one thing-- a terrorist plot. 165 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,041 Enough radioactivity was released 166 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,502 to create 17 Hulks and a Spider-Man. 167 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,587 Here's an artist's conception. 168 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,381 Quite disturbing. 169 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,007 (excited, overlapping chatter) 170 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:23,883 (gavel bangs) 171 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:24,884 I admit it. 172 00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,302 Everything I've said 173 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,721 about terrorism till now was fear-mongering. 174 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,932 But today, I monger the truth. 175 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,893 To protect our city from all future bombings, 176 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,437 dirty, clean, dive or carpet, 177 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,481 we have hired an outside consultant 178 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,066 from London, England. 179 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,026 Does he have a cute accent? 180 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,278 (with English accent): Why don't you be the judge, young lady? 181 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,864 Ooh, he sounds just like Paddington Bear! 182 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,825 My name is Nigel Bakerbutcher. 183 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,076 (whirring) 184 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,619 Sleepy London town. 185 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,997 Once upon a time, the only problem we had here 186 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,083 was from overzealous Cockney flower sellers. 187 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,000 Flowers, guv'nor? 188 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,335 A pretty for your buttonhole? 189 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,503 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. 190 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,712 (men muttering) 191 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,714 But in London of the 21st Century, 192 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,883 the watchword is vigilance. 193 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:10,513 London is now ringed by the most comprehensive array 194 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,182 of surveillance cameras mankind has ever seen. 195 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,864 (murmuring) 196 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,365 Excuse me. 197 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,076 Is this what the framers of the Constitution would want? 198 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,537 Well, I'm Wally of Wally's Framers, 199 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,497 and this is exactly what I want. 200 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,750 How many personal freedoms are we willing to give up 201 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,335 in the name of security? 202 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,837 (chuckles) 203 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,299 That blonde girl thinks she's smart, like us dark hairs. 204 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,676 Again with the blonde! 205 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,928 Why in the world would the color of the hair 206 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,805 on someone's head have anything to do 207 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,557 with the intelligence within? 208 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,726 Yeah, you're so right. 209 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,603 I'm smart, too. 210 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:02,773 I got Joe to promise to leave his wife when I turn 50. 211 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,233 Eh, uh, yes. 212 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:08,613 Now, all in favor of these cameras say cheese. 213 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,156 ALL (except Lisa): Cheese! 214 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,451 Those opposed say, "I hate America." 215 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,368 I ha... 216 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,828 Oh, wait. 217 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,163 Oh. 218 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,207 Motion carries. 219 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:22,668 Next up: motion to limit terms of city officials. 220 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,588 All in favor say, "I have sex with animals." 221 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,090 I do have sex with animals, 222 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,426 but I am not in favor of term limits. 223 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:31,969 Mm-hmm. 224 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:37,433 Lisa, I know kids have been making fun of your blonde hair, 225 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,976 so I got you this book 226 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,187 from the Being Different section of the bookstore. 227 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,898 Hmm? 228 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,901 "Sally Circle was eating donuts and Ovaltine 229 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,320 when her father came in with terrible news." 230 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,822 We're moving to Rectangu-Land! 231 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,033 Round up the family and let's roll! 232 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,785 -(mocking laughter) -LISA: "Everyone was mean to Sally. 233 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,787 She was too well-rounded. 234 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,497 She felt cornered. 235 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,332 They wouldn't let her play four-square 236 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,584 or invite her to the box social. 237 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:04,710 The end." 238 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:08,130 That's a rather unambitious book. 239 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,550 I want a camera on every light pole. 240 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,677 I want two hidden cameras there, open camera there. 241 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,594 Hidden. Hidden. 242 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,554 (echoing): Hidden. 243 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,390 Hidden. 244 00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,642 Cluster! Right there! Yes! 245 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,895 Um, you ain't gonna like what you see. 246 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,064 KRUSTY: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't make ice? 247 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,817 -She lost the recipe. -(laughter) 248 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,903 You know why it takes longer to build a blonde snowman? 249 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,530 You have to hollow out the head. 250 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,240 (laughter) 251 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,035 (Bart laughs) 252 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,453 He sure nailed you, Lis. 253 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,205 You're blond, too. 254 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,957 Blonde guys aren't dumb. 255 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,250 They're evil. 256 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,253 Like in The Karate Kid and World War II. 257 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,339 All right, boys. 258 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,843 Let's see the dark underbelly of our fair burg. 259 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,349 Okay, we got a litterbug 260 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,936 on F-6, double homicide in progress on Q-20... 261 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,772 A woman sunbathing topless on R-15! 262 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,608 Uh, Chief, I think we got a misuse 263 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,443 of police equipment on ZZ-99. 264 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:13,154 Killjoy. 265 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,867 Gas station customer washing windshield 266 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,702 without buying gas. 267 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,662 Girl using Wite-Out as nail polish. 268 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,539 Oh, man, this is hard. 269 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,459 Hey, did you get that guy who was parading around naked? 270 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,253 He was just jogging in a tan sweat suit, Chief. 271 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,255 Are you sure? I thought I saw his... 272 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,674 That was a fanny pack, worn on the front. 273 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,634 -But there was a... -Water bottle... 274 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,468 -But it was... -Leaking. 275 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:36,844 That's it! That's it! 276 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:39,680 I can't take another minute of these stupid screens! 277 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,932 Go-Go find some concerned citizens 278 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,476 to pick up the slack. 279 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:44,894 Well, how many should I get? 280 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,813 Uh, well, we've got, uh, eight chairs, so... 281 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,148 Oh, no, wait. 282 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,067 Put one chair in my office facing my desk, 283 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,818 so-so I'll seem like a meetings guy. 284 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:53,986 Yeah. Oh, uh... 285 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,237 Oh, have a seat. 286 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,448 Uh, I'll be with you in one minute. Yeah. 287 00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,824 Ah, that's a new low. 288 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,577 We have chosen you to help out, 289 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,580 because you are all that rare combination. 290 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,540 Prying, but not pervy. 291 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,042 (polite laughter) 292 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,629 Now just follow a little formula called P.B. and J.: 293 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:15,257 Peer at the monitor, Be judgmental, and Jot it down. 294 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,843 One way to remember that is A.B.C.: 295 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,680 Always Be Considering P.B. and J. 296 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,349 But the single most important rule is the four A's: 297 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:26,060 Always Act According to A.B.C. 298 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,648 Uh-oh. 299 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:31,816 What is it, Ned? 300 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,442 I've got two teens in a public park 301 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,819 goin' at it like a couple of gibbons 302 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,153 in the back seat of Noah's Ark! 303 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,738 Should we inform the Chief? 304 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,156 Hmm, maybe. 305 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,325 But I feel a little like I'm the Tom Voyeur 306 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,327 to these Huckleberry Sinners. 307 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,663 Or you could correct the behavior yourself 308 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,790 with our Nag-a-sonic speakers. 309 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,459 Oi! Snogging people! 310 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,919 What the hell was that?! 311 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,629 Tongues where I can see them, please. 312 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,382 I ain't lettin' you touch me with somebody watchin'. 313 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,968 Come on, baby, it's just a voice. 314 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,678 Don't push it, Kearney. 315 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,888 -I'm Jimbo! -Oh, great. 316 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,099 Make me look easy in front of the voice. 317 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:06,851 But you are easy! 318 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,145 Don't be ashamed of what you are! 319 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,563 Shauna... 320 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:13,774 I've gone from lookie-loo to talkie-too. 321 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,861 Excuse me, that's your salad fork. 322 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,238 That Wi-Fi's for hotel guests only. 323 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,825 What's the matter, sir, too cool to sing "Happy Birthday?" 324 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,285 Isn't this great, Marge? 325 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,662 We're like Jiminy Cricket for the whole ding-dang town. 326 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,166 A half-man, half-bug that knows what's best for everybody. 327 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,542 Mm-hmm. 328 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,085 I don't know. 329 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,004 I'm starting to think we're prying too much 330 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,589 into people's lives. 331 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,841 And this room isn't really the best place 332 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,259 for Maggie to hang out. 333 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,886 That's not Sesame Street, 334 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,220 that's a gay bar. 335 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,306 (dance music playing) 336 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,141 (grunts) 337 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,186 Although I guess 338 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,730 this would teach her sharing and caring, 339 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,648 but... we're going home. 340 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,955 (sinister laugh) 341 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,708 Dye! Dye! Dye! 342 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,960 (maniacally laughing) 343 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,297 Tomorrow's forecast is... 344 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,924 Okay, place your bets. 345 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,801 -Partly cloudy. -Partly sunny. 346 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,427 Golf ball-sized hail! 347 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,346 A chance of severe thunderstorms 348 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,890 with golf ball-sized hail! 349 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,058 Whoo-hoo! 350 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,392 (Flanders clears throat) 351 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,979 I spy, with my electronic eye, illegal wagering! 352 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,606 Hey, weren't these cameras installed 353 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:38,526 to keep America's enemies from blowin' up our homeland? 354 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,694 Well, sir, how many times have you been blown up 355 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:41,737 since the cameras went in? 356 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,322 Zero times. 357 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:44,865 Mm-hmm! 358 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,951 Now I'm gonna go (clicks tongue) 359 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,744 till you give the money back. 360 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:49,745 (clicking tongue) 361 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,997 Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm! 362 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,124 (grunting) 363 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,376 Cut it out... 364 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,794 Cut it out! 365 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,337 (mumbling) 366 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,381 (clicking tongue): Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm! 367 00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:02,967 All right! 368 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:03,968 I'm goin' home. 369 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,761 It's not safe in here. 370 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,762 (thunder crashes) 371 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,557 (grunting) 372 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,310 FLANDERS: Don't use that dog as a ramp. 373 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,605 Less radical... Less radical! 374 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,815 (camera whirring) 375 00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,233 Stop gleaming that cube! 376 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,028 (grunting) 377 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,906 So, you like to watch, huh? 378 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,700 Well, take a look at this! 379 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,910 Huh? 380 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,037 Hmm. 381 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,081 FLANDERS: Buttocks! 382 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:35,833 Tushie! (groans) 383 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,210 Ugh! 384 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,254 -(Flanders sighs) -Whoa, a blind spot! 385 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,928 FLANDERS: Boy cheeks! 386 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,805 Fanny! 387 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,765 Derriere! 388 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,476 Hiney! 389 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,353 Backside! 390 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,355 Cover up that coin slot! 391 00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,982 Hey, boy, whatcha doing? 392 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,358 Experimenting with my butt. 393 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,069 (chuckles) My little Einstein. 394 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,833 Welcome to Chaos Corners, the Pleasure Patch, 395 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,460 Satan's Triangle-- 396 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:21,545 the one place in town no cameras can see you, 397 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,797 and no laws can touch you. 398 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,137 Oh, yeah, that stopped the kicking. 399 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,393 Inspiration Point looks pretty uninspired. 400 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,895 All's quiet in Murder Town. 401 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:41,899 Yep, Springfield is cleaner than the Lord's hand towels. 402 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,610 Sour ball, take me away! 403 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,862 Mm-mm-mmm. 404 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,364 Mmm! Mm-mmm... mmm. 405 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,490 (cheering, laughter) 406 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,617 (engines revving) 407 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,122 (tires screeching) 408 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,000 Another tie. 409 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,170 Followed by three hours of parachute repacking. 410 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,297 (gasps) 411 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,173 Koo-koo-roo! Koo-koo-roo! 412 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,509 (gasps) A phony bird call?! 413 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,760 That means Marge is coming! 414 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,053 Everyone, act legal! 415 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,013 (jaunty, old-fashioned melody playing) 416 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,648 (humming) 417 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:26,527 Homer, Maggie has to wear that clown mask for Halloween. 418 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,903 What's going on? 419 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,697 Well, uh... 420 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,532 the one place the cameras can't see is right here in our backyard, 421 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,450 so I'm charging people to do whatever they want. 422 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,661 Isn't that wonderful? 423 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,454 I don't see what's so wonderful. 424 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:41,083 Remember how you wanted me to get that expensive operation? 425 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,544 Well, now I can afford a motorcycle! 426 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:47,339 Ever hear of the expression "Not in my backyard"? 427 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,341 Well... that! 428 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,802 Nothin'. 429 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,595 Nothin'. Somethin'. 430 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,305 I don't want to get Homer in trouble, 431 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,183 but it's just plain wrong to use that blind spot 432 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,478 to turn our backyard into a Mecca of misdemeanors! 433 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,022 (gasps) Blind spot?! 434 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,815 Mecca?! 435 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,696 Rod, hold up Daddy's shaving mirror out the window, would ya? 436 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,700 (overlapping chatter) 437 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,370 I see you now. 438 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,289 Rod, you and Todd stay in the house. 439 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,957 Todd's not in the house. 440 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,460 (gerbils squealing) 441 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,003 No! 442 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,887 And that's why school uniforms should not be mandatory. 443 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,263 Lisa, rebuttal? 444 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,310 (all gasp) 445 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,188 Dressing in uniforms is a good thing. 446 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:47,858 If everyone looks the same, it levels the playing field. 447 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,693 Hmm, very smart. 448 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,779 -That's well-reasoned. -A true brunette. 449 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,281 It's better to just fit in with the crowd. 450 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,699 -She's as bright as her hair is dark! -So smart! 451 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,784 Great point! 452 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,619 Oh, I can't go on! 453 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,037 This rebuttal is a sham! 454 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:00,913 (all gasp) 455 00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,206 You aren't being persuaded 456 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,457 by the content of my argument. 457 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,001 You're being convinced by the color of my hair! 458 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,503 -Well, that-- that's absurd! -Ridiculous! 459 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,630 Although her brown hair makes a persuasive case. 460 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:11,632 Well guess what? I am not a brunette! 461 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,550 I'm a blonde! 462 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:14,468 (screams) 463 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:15,636 Roots! 464 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,054 (sighs) 465 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,973 We must rid ourselves of these outdated clichés. 466 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,850 Not all blondes are dumb! 467 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,520 Not all fat people are jolly. 468 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,146 Would you be jolly 469 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,774 if you thought Comic-Con was moving to Anaheim? 470 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,944 And not all old people are bad drivers. 471 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,656 This building cut me off! 472 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,950 (horn honking) 473 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,035 (gunshot) 474 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,995 (crackling, whistling) 475 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,835 Who wants feet steak? 476 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,294 ALL: Me! Me! 477 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,546 Over here! 478 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,215 De-meat those feet! 479 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,384 Oh, no! I don't have to listen to you. 480 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,053 If I'm not on camera, you can't see me! 481 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,847 I'm standin' right here! 482 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,849 Everyone in this town is sick and tired 483 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,517 of you looking over their shoulder. 484 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,519 "Don't leave your sprinklers on in the rain! 485 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,397 Don't burn that pile of ventriloquist dummies!" 486 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,857 Oh, but you promised! 487 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,024 Later. Later. 488 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,277 But, neighbor, why did you have to do this? 489 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,488 I've tattled this town into a paradise! 490 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:23,287 This used to be just a little part of me. 491 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,372 You see, Ned, your citywide nagging 492 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,583 compressed all of our town's misbehavior 493 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,002 into one small place. 494 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:33,172 Creating a glittering diamond of super evil. 495 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,298 (sighs) 496 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,632 I guess I did create this. 497 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,342 Like God created the devil. 498 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,886 God created the devil? 499 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,554 Finally, He did something cool. 500 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:41,889 (sighs) 501 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,349 Oh, I never wanted to turn into Big Brother. 502 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,185 I just wanted to be little sister, 503 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:49,104 tattlin' on everyone so the town would be a nicer place. 504 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,648 Well, if you ask me, you were trying to play God. 505 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,025 (gasps) 506 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,319 That's the worst sin of all, for some reason. 507 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,987 What can I do to make things right? 508 00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:59,364 You can help me take out those cameras. 509 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,203 Neighbor, we got some work to do. 510 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,746 (grunting) 511 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,581 Yes! 512 00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,291 (glass shattering) 513 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,835 (gunfire) 514 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,764 So, sadly, the most popular reality show in England 515 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,307 is no more. 516 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,936 I'll miss that Ralph Wiggum. 517 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,021 Reminds me of my boy. 518 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:35,859 Oh, Mummy, my cat's breath smells like cat food. 519 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,070 ♪ Y'all ready for this... ♪ 520 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,406 (people talking) 521 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:24,491 Shh! 522 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,121 {\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem