1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,256 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,425 {\an8}(theme music playing) 3 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,720 (gasps) 4 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,852 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,063 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,233 -(whistle blows) -(yells) 7 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,448 (beeping) 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,872 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,208 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,545 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,048 D'oh! 12 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,467 -(tires screeching) -(grunts) 13 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,231 (groaning) 14 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:49,484 {\an8}I don't even want to smell sparkling apple juice again. 15 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,528 {\an8}Aw. Poor baby. 16 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,865 {\an8}Come on, Bart. 17 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,617 {\an8}Afraid of a little apple juice? 18 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,202 {\an8}(laughs) 19 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,371 {\an8}-Pig in a blanket! -Dad's underwear. 20 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,539 {\an8}Aunt Selma's leg. 21 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,541 {\an8}I hate New Year's Eve. 22 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,334 {\an8}I can't believe I made out 23 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,087 {\an8}with Ryan Seacrest on the TV screen. 24 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,296 {\an8}(raspy groan) 25 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,173 {\an8}Let's just take it easy. 26 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,843 {\an8}We all made mistakes on New Year's Eve. 27 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,558 {\an8}There's only one upside to today. 28 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,643 {\an8}(snoring) 29 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,895 {\an8}Come on, just one more drink, Marge. 30 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,148 {\an8}BOTH: Happy New Year! 31 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,691 {\an8}-Aah! -(noisemakers blaring) 32 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,527 {\an8}Everyone shush! 33 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,736 {\an8}Why are you hungover? 34 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,363 {\an8}I didn't see you drink last night. 35 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,531 {\an8}I didn't. 36 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,659 {\an8}I got secondhand wasted from smooching your father. 37 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:43,246 {\an8}So not a peep out of anyone till the Fiesta Bowl. 38 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}That's not for five hours. 39 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,208 {\an8}I know when the freaking Fiesta Bowl is! 40 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,543 {\an8}Sweetie, relax. 41 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,879 {\an8}Let's just watch some TV. 42 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,297 {\an8}(drums pounding) 43 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,257 {\an8}New Year's Eve might be over in America, 44 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,260 {\an8}but we're still rocking hard in Samoa. 45 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,220 {\an8}And here come the Blue Angels 46 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,890 {\an8}waking up the shrieking wah-wah birds. 47 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,183 {\an8}(jet engines roaring) 48 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,060 {\an8}(raucous squawking) 49 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,694 {\an8}(siren whoops) 50 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:15,737 {\an8}Well, well, well. 51 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,280 {\an8}Simpson, you've committed 52 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,616 {\an8}Springfield's first crime of the new year. 53 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,992 {\an8}Write him up, Lou. 54 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,410 {\an8}Huh? What'd I do? 55 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,455 {\an8}Failed to separate your bottles and newspapers. 56 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,999 {\an8}50 bucks?! 57 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,918 {\an8}That used to cover two public nudities 58 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,503 {\an8}and a poop in the park. (grumbles) 59 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,881 {\an8}Aah! That's vandalizing city property. 60 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,342 {\an8}Write him up again, Lou. 61 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,470 {\an8}-What the hell?! -Mild obscenity before 10:00 a.m. 62 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,554 {\an8}Also illegal. 63 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,306 {\an8}Come on, Lou. Give me a break. 64 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,558 {\an8}Sorry, sir. I take no pleasure in it. 65 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,769 {\an8}♪ Da-da-da, dee, da-da-da, da-hah ♪ 66 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,062 {\an8}Oh, yeah. 67 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,815 {\an8}Since when is all this against the law? 68 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,983 {\an8}Since today. 69 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,819 {\an8}As of Jan one, a bunch of new ordinances-- 70 00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,490 {\an8}with, uh, outrageous financial penalties-- took effect. 71 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,741 Oh, I get it. 72 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,409 The government runs out of money, 73 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,203 so they pass a bunch of lame-o laws 74 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,913 to sock it to the little guy. 75 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,456 Fine. You're telling it like it is. 76 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,791 Also a crime now. 77 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,251 And that one's going to cost you. 78 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,755 {\an8}(Homer wails) That's almost $1,000! 79 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,258 Rounding up your total-- that's a $50 fine. 80 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,592 (whimpers) 81 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,887 Wow, Homer. This year's only 11 hours old, 82 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,431 and it's already your annus horribilis. 83 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,017 My New Year's resolution was to learn Latin. 84 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,229 Uh, listen, Homer, I know a guy who fixes things 85 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,314 for folks who need things fixed. 86 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,566 But, uh, I can't talk about it here. 87 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,113 Eh, still not private enough. 88 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:43,157 Uh, this is private, but a little dank. 89 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,911 Uh, whoopsie. 90 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:50,248 Glinda, Madame Morrible, flying monkeys there, 91 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,001 can you tell me how I can get back to my bar? 92 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:57,255 Moe, you've always had the power to get back to the bar. 93 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,551 Whoa! It's a chimpan-me. 94 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,611 Maybe we should let these people enjoy their show. 95 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,245 Homer, what you do is go down to window nine at the courthouse. 96 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,830 You slip the guy 100 bucks, 97 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,541 and your record is as clean as... 98 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,669 Uh, I ain't got nothing, uh, clean to compare it to. 99 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,797 (hums) 100 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,592 (groans) Ten minutes? I can't wait that long. 101 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,011 I left an ice cream cone in my cup holder. 102 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,514 (grunts) Hold on. I will get help. 103 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,767 Must break glass. 104 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,686 (grunting) 105 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,609 No! 106 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,904 (chuckling) 107 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,405 (guns cocking) 108 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,157 Homer Simpson, you are under arrest 109 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,910 for attempted bribery of a public official. 110 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:12,497 Chief, this is just a big misunderstanding. 111 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,916 I meant to write "bride." 112 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,834 It's a wedding present. 113 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,544 Oh, how thoughtful. 114 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,004 Aah! My bribe! 115 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,714 Cuff him, Lou. 116 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:26,761 Oh, this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, 117 00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:28,763 and it's ruined. 118 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,182 Homer Simpson, you are hereby sentenced 119 00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,643 to ten years in the federal penitentiary. 120 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,770 -(crowd gasps) -It's okay. It's okay. 121 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:38,272 I can be out in 18 months with good behavior. 122 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,275 We're Simpsons, Dad. We don't do good behavior. 123 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,945 Don't tell me I'm not capable of good behavior! 124 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,447 -(angry shouting) -(gagging) 125 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,494 Your Honor, I would like to request a sidebar. 126 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,954 Granted. 127 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,288 (grunting) 128 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,040 (screaming) 129 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,922 CHIEF WIGGUM: Ten years. 130 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,048 (clicking tongue) 131 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,176 That is a long time to be away from your family. 132 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,554 All that time I'll be stuck in my cell, 133 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,431 unable to exercise. 134 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,850 Actually, most convicts work out like crazy. 135 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,019 I repeat-- unable to exercise. 136 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,272 All right, look, Simpson, there is one thing 137 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,773 you can do to get out sooner, 138 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,443 but, uh, it is extremely dangerous. 139 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,154 Simpson, we are currently conducting 140 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,239 a 20-year investigation into the activities 141 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:31,033 of Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico. 142 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,910 What, this guy? 143 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,456 Oops. 144 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,709 (wry laugh) We're going to plant you 145 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,795 in Fat Tony's gang as an undercover informant. 146 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,922 I can't go undercover with Fat Tony. 147 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,175 He's met me. I've been in his house. 148 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,886 I was briefly his "conserigliary..." 149 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:54,307 consugly... canoliar... Robert Duvall. 150 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,225 Everyone knows Fat Tony, 151 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,768 so we're going to plant you in the prison 152 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,312 with a disguise and a new name. 153 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:02,064 -Can I be Johnny Undercover? -That's a little obvious. 154 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,400 -Okay. Melvin Mafia. -No. 155 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,737 You will be known as Nicky "Blue Pants" Altosaxophony. 156 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,322 Can I keep the name after I'm done? 157 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,407 -No. It belongs to the government. -Oh. 158 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,493 MAN (over P.A.): No ice cream available! 159 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,952 Children, stay away! 160 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,245 (disappointed groans) 161 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,080 (coos with admiration) 162 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,415 Now, pay attention. 163 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,958 We're going to move in on Fat Tony 164 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,252 when he takes delivery on a shipment of Belgian guns. 165 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,630 In your left sideburn is a fiber-optic camera. 166 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,340 In your right, a wireless mic. 167 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,550 To zoom in, you go, "Ayyy!" 168 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,761 To zoom out, go, "Ohhh!" 169 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:36,265 Ayyy. Ohhh! Ayyy. Ohhh! 170 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,808 Fuhgetaboutit! 171 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,477 That activates the auto-destruct. 172 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,562 (howling, hooting) 173 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,857 Dear Lord, watch over my sweet Homie 174 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,734 while he's in the hoosegow. 175 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,694 Keep him safe from shanks and shivs. 176 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,821 Let him become rich in the jail-yard currencies 177 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,740 of cigarettes and dried fish. 178 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,708 Uh, what's my name again? Okay, I'm coming. 179 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,126 (inmate shrieks) 180 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,836 I'd like a third helping, please. 181 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,131 You do know the meat is made from diseased pigeons. 182 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,342 Just get the ladle down there deep. 183 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,386 That's where the beaks are. 184 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,516 Hey, you're that guy from the FB-- mmph! 185 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:19,976 Time to go to work. 186 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,019 Stop licking my hand. 187 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,854 There was barbecue sauce on it. 188 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,023 Here's how it goes down-- I rough up Louie. 189 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,276 Then you stand up to me, earning his trust. 190 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,612 But I haven't earned his trust if it's based on a lie. 191 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,489 Enough of your dime-store morality. 192 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,782 What's a dime store? 193 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,617 I... (groans) 194 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,955 -Aah! -(guards laughing) 195 00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,540 Blue pants power! 196 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,500 Ow! Hey. 197 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711 Hey, Nicky Blue, you're one tough yegg. 198 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,046 If you come out of your beating in one piece, 199 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,215 you and I should have a face-to-face. 200 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,843 Beating? What beating? (gasps) 201 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,720 Oh, that beating. 202 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,850 Don't worry. We're not going to touch you. 203 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,018 We'll make it sound like a beating 204 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,936 by tenderizing these steaks. 205 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,605 Can I have any of the steaks? 206 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,939 No. 207 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,275 (screaming) 208 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,863 HOMER: That's so mean! 209 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,700 Whoa! I'm impressed over here with that guy over there. 210 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,619 Please! Let me have it! 211 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,912 (agonized yelling) Come on! 212 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,789 Give it to me right in the mouth! 213 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,792 (Homer wails) 214 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,756 (sighs) 215 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:35,051 Well, back in my keister you go. 216 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,429 We brought someone to spring you. 217 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:41,766 Now, let us escort you to freedom. 218 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,935 -How are you going to do that? -Let's just say this prison 219 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,855 was built by Mob construction workers. 220 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,867 -He's in. -I was going to say that! 221 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,620 What's going on? 222 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,539 I called the prison and they won't tell me where Homer is. 223 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,917 -Sorry, Marge, I can't tell you. -(sighs) 224 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,670 If it makes you feel better, I can tell you about someone else. 225 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,964 Ooh! How about Krusty in the drunk tank? Aha. 226 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:17,009 (slurring) If, if Jews control the media, 227 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:21,347 why can't I get on Jimmy Kimmel, huh? Huh? 228 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,765 (frustrated groan) 229 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,855 So, what do you think of the sauce? 230 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:34,193 I detect a distinct lack of oregano. 231 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,821 I'll take care of this. 232 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,574 You carry oregano with you? 233 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,828 Oregano, basil, rosemary... 234 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,955 I-I think I got a ketchup packet for you, boss. 235 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,708 Did you order French fries and not use it? 236 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,460 Well, they gave me two packets, but I only needed one. 237 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,964 What other secrets are you hiding from me? 238 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:58,259 I-I-I bring my own candy to the movie theater. 239 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,469 Louie... 240 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,229 My beloved Anna Maria. 241 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:14,233 I hope Heaven's powder room is painted that eggshell blue... 242 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,526 -(cell phone buzzing) -...you could never 243 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,069 achieve on Earth. 244 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,824 (sniffs) 245 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,409 (sniffling) Sorry, boss. 246 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,494 No apology necessary. 247 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,079 I am touched. 248 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,749 You and me, Nicky. We feel. 249 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:33,961 Legs, Louie, Jimmy the Axe, Tommy the Face-Shooter-- 250 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,338 they never share my grief. 251 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,590 (scoffs) Yeah. 252 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,509 Those guys are probably FBI informants. 253 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,137 You think an informant could get that close to me? 254 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,305 Oh, yeah. 255 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,724 I got in your gang, and you barely know who I am. 256 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,310 That is good counsel indeed. 257 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:52,188 You have earned my complete, unquestioning trust. 258 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,024 But first, one little thing. 259 00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:58,194 You must make your bones. 260 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,280 Wh-What are we doing here? 261 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,407 I will tell you. 262 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:07,411 When I call for my Russian business partner, Yuri Nator, 263 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,413 I don't expect to be screamed at 264 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,875 like I was some ten-year-old punk making a prank call. 265 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,461 Yuri Nator? Yuri Nator! 266 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:18,339 Hey, my mouth is begging for a Yuri Nator! 267 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,049 (laughing) 268 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,884 Be careful what you wish for. 269 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,512 Why, you... I'm going to chop you into little pieces, 270 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,013 and make you into a Rubik's Cube, 271 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,140 which I will never solve! 272 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,059 (dial tone) 273 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,228 Well, I guess I could tell him 274 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,313 he could improve his phone etiquette. 275 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,483 Tell him with fire. 276 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,235 (anxiously) Ooh-hoo. 277 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,070 What's the matter, Nicky? 278 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,322 You got a problem with this job? 279 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,658 Oh, no, no! I was, uh, just thinking 280 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,827 how cheap this crime would've been in the '70s, 281 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,412 when gas was 35 cents a gallon. 282 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,554 (sighs) It was either this, or put in a ladies' room. 283 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,639 (sirens approaching) 284 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,309 Exquisite. 285 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,771 As a reward, I've planned a little surprise for you. 286 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,856 (yells) 287 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,734 This is horrible! I keep smelling my own breath! 288 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,361 Nicolas Blue Pants, 289 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,572 you have shown great fazagabool 290 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:28,367 in the face of overwhelming spoogatzagatini. 291 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,703 Huh? 292 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,166 -You're a made man, my friend. -Welcome! 293 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,127 Ooh... 294 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,297 Nicky, welcome to the family. 295 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,758 From now on, you don't know where you end and we begin. 296 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,303 Your problems are our problems. 297 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,138 My neck is kind of itchy. 298 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,223 Then all of our necks are itchy. 299 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,642 Now that you mention it, itchy like crazy! 300 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,227 Aw. 301 00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,190 Nicky, my friend, tonight is a big score 302 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,818 I've been setting up for months. 303 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,408 Just you and me. Sharing it together. 304 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,869 To heterosexual male friendship, 305 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,622 the kind the Greeks wrote about. 306 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,082 -(foghorn blares) -Huh? 307 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,837 Here they are! My Belgian guns. 308 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,255 Belgian guns. 309 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,882 I've been waiting half my life for this moment. 310 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,425 SUPERVISOR (over radio): All units, move in! 311 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,093 Tony, you got to get out of here, now! 312 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,178 What? Why? 313 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,348 -Don't ask questions, just go! -What's gotten into you? 314 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,725 You're as nervous as a cat when Johnny Kick-A-Cat 315 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,226 walks into the room. 316 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,020 Verlaat de vuurwapens 317 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,565 op het dok En wij kunnen een Chimay bier drinken! 318 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,192 Get a shot of Tony with the guns. 319 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,694 -(nervously) Um, eh... -SUPERVISOR: Closer. 320 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,780 -Ayyy... -SUPERVISOR: Too close. 321 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,114 -Ohhh! -Closer. 322 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,658 Ayyy. 323 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,369 -Too close. -HOMER: Ohhh! 324 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,372 -Perfect. -Wait a minute. 325 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,834 -(sirens wailing) -(clamoring) 326 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,169 How could you, Nicky? 327 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,088 I would have given you everything. 328 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,923 In the strip club of my heart, 329 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,008 you held the key to the champagne room. 330 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,010 I loved you, man. 331 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,637 (gasps) 332 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,560 -He's dead. -No. 333 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,396 You're wrong! Check again! 334 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,606 -Fuhgetaboutit. -(sobbing) 335 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,962 Homer, I just want to say that of all the rat bastards 336 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,923 we've had working for us, you were the snitchiest. 337 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,175 So that's it. You used me to kill a man, 338 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,469 and all I get is a handshake and a blanket? 339 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,555 We didn't say you could use the blanket. 340 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,433 And I'm not gonna shake your hand. 341 00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,310 Poor Tony. He didn't deserve this. 342 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:04,189 He was just a soldier in a war he started. 343 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,860 (cooing happily) 344 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,238 Homie, I know you had a terrible experience, 345 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:12,781 but it's over. 346 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,951 It's not over, Marge. It'll never be over. 347 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,038 When I shut my eyes, all I see is Fat Tony and me 348 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,373 having drinks at that bar on the beach. 349 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,792 You never took me to that bar on the beach. 350 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,836 Oh. Well, uh... 351 00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,379 you wouldn't like it. 352 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,840 -It's not very good. -Sounds pretty good. 353 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:32,551 No, no, I oversold it. 354 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,640 (thunder rumbles) 355 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,021 I'd give anything to bring you back. 356 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,149 MALE VOICE: Wake up, Homer. 357 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,151 HOMER: Huh? Wha... (gasps) 358 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,111 Fat Tony. 359 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,156 No. I'm his cousin from San Diego-- 360 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,741 Fit Tony. 361 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,244 Wow, I've never seen a mobster 362 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,663 use a track suit for exercising. 363 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,874 And there's no better exercise 364 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,793 than killing and disemboweling 365 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,170 a big, fat snitch. 366 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,546 I understand. 367 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,381 I loved him, too. 368 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,008 (sobbing) 369 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:19,181 Your tears seem in no way crocodilian. 370 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,849 Do what you got to do. 371 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,601 The quicker you kill me up here, 372 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,853 the quicker he can kill me down there. 373 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,274 Join me on the elliptical machines. 374 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,693 I will let you live for... 375 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,530 20 minutes. 376 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,078 I worked for Fat Tony. 377 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,330 And he was the best boss I ever had. 378 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,165 Well. This is awkward. 379 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,626 What? Oh, uh, Mr. Burns! 380 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,920 Uh, you were cool, too. 381 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,589 Oh, I so believe that. 382 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,262 He took me to a fight that he fixed, but he never let on, 383 00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:01,431 not even when I bet $500 on the wrong guy. 384 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,808 (chuckling) 385 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,602 Then he said he would dope a horse for me. 386 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,772 Homer, it is time... 387 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:12,359 to switch your elliptical machine to cool-down mode. 388 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,529 Are you going to kill me now? 'Cause I'm super ready. 389 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,949 No. Because my cousin lives on in your memories. 390 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,660 And to extinguish you would be to whack 391 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,412 what still remains of him. 392 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,957 Wow. The killers have been kind to me. 393 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,168 While the people who are supposed to protect me 394 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,669 treated me like dirt! 395 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,296 What kind of a world is this? 396 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,797 It's pretty screwed-up. 397 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,049 That's why I keep my friends close. 398 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,676 And your enemies closer? 399 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,219 No, why would I do that? 400 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,430 If they were close, they would kill me. 401 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,515 HOMER: Fit Tony took his cousin's place 402 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,184 running the Springfield mob. 403 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,023 The pressures got to him, so he started to eat. 404 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:56,153 Soon, he was known as "Fit Fat Tony," 405 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:57,988 then just "Fat Tony" for short. 406 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,201 And me? 407 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,162 Now I'm just an average schnook like everyone else, 408 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,039 stuck in this backwater burg 409 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,249 where all you can count on is your family, 410 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,211 and the only one who ever shot anyone is the baby. 411 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,631 I have to admit, it's a pretty good life. 412 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:18,550 (Sid Vicious' "My Way" playing) 413 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:22,888 ♪ Regrets, I've had a few ♪ 414 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:28,894 ♪ But, then again, too few to mention ♪ 415 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:34,233 ♪ I did what I had to do ♪ 416 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:39,780 ♪ I saw it through without exemption ♪ 417 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:44,993 ♪ I planned each chartered course ♪ 418 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,578 ♪ Each careful step... ♪ 419 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,205 ("My Way" fades out) 420 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,745 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 421 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:34,960 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay