1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,214 -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -(machine gun firing) 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,299 {\an8}(theme music playing) 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,511 (gasps) 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,022 (burps) 6 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,108 -(whistle blows) -(yells) 7 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,406 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,830 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,543 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,253 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,131 D'oh! 12 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,425 -(tires screeching) -(grunts) 13 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,548 Meep, meep. 14 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,804 Meep, meep. 15 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:39,808 OTTO: Hey, this was one of the planets on Star Trek. 16 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:43,061 It's so hot I want to wedgie the sun. 17 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,979 I wet my arm-pants. 18 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,024 {\an8}Children, I hope we all have a pleasant and orderly day 19 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,400 {\an8}here at "Satan's Anvil." 20 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,070 {\an8}No one knows why the early settlers called it that, 21 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571 {\an8}and I suppose we never will. 22 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,740 {\an8}Now remember to stay hydrated, and... 23 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,659 {\an8}-(rattling) -Rattlesnake! 24 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,369 {\an8}(laughing) 25 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,955 {\an8}Ha! You fall for that every year, Seymour. 26 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,874 {\an8}And the one year I didn't, I was bitten by an actual rattlesnake. 27 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,794 {\an8}Yes, if I recall, you took a sick day you did not have. 28 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,546 {\an8}I was going to lose my foot. 29 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,965 {\an8}-Of which you have two. -Mm... 30 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,299 {\an8}Ah! 31 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,385 {\an8}(humming) 32 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,889 {\an8}Greetings, desert dwellers. 33 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,057 {\an8}Git out. 34 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,685 {\an8}The second we let one trespasser on our land, 35 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,520 {\an8}-then every goldang... -(squeaking) 36 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,980 {\an8}Aw, for crying out loud, 37 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,232 {\an8}It's like Grand Central Station around here. 38 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,985 {\an8}Now, Delbert, be nice. He's just a boy. 39 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:35,655 {\an8}Oh, sure, first they send a boy, then a prairie dog, 40 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,907 {\an8}then they send in them black helicopters. 41 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,248 {\an8}(rifles cocking) 42 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,334 {\an8}Sir, you have won a National Endowment For The Arts grant 43 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,003 {\an8}for your scrap-metal sculptures. 44 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:53,173 {\an8}You'll have to put that check in my cold dead hands. 45 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,094 Hmm. 46 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,640 {\an8}This park's environment has been preserved 47 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,517 {\an8}free of invasive species, 48 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,020 {\an8}except for one-- rock climbers. 49 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,357 {\an8}Uh, my jaw is not a toe-hold. 50 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,734 {\an8}But if I reach your summit, 51 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,777 {\an8}I'll have climbed rangers on seven continents. 52 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,862 {\an8}Fine. 53 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,406 {\an8}(grunting) 54 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,782 {\an8}(loud snap) 55 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,618 {\an8}Oh, I sprained my ankle! 56 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,494 {\an8}(sobbing) I'm gonna die up here. 57 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,080 {\an8}Hang on, I'm coming up for you. 58 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,416 {\an8}Hurry-- before it gets dark. 59 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:31,294 {\an8}This next move is tricky. Yeah. 60 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:34,422 {\an8}(grunts) 61 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,174 {\an8}(hums) 62 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,926 {\an8}Oh, my God. 63 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,886 {\an8}The legends are true. 64 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,262 {\an8}Did you find gold? 65 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,724 {\an8}Better-- the prospectors left naughty French postcards. 66 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,684 {\an8}Whoa, mama! 67 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,145 {\an8}Bart, this is fool's porn. 68 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,356 {\an8}I'll take it off your hands. 69 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,732 C'est si bon. 70 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,360 Si bon. Si bon! 71 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,987 And... remorse. 72 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,595 (bird squawking) 73 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:26,724 {\an8}"While beautiful, the desert also harbors hidden dangers-- 74 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:30,311 {\an8}cacti, poisonous snakes, and most deadly of all..." 75 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,814 {\an8}(grunts) Scorpions! 76 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,315 {\an8}(whimpering) 77 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,317 {\an8}(yelling) 78 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,569 {\an8}(gasps, curious grunt) 79 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,990 {\an8}They calm down when they're near the Springfield Silvertongues. 80 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,909 {\an8}Hmm. 81 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,786 {\an8}(gasps) Now they're aggressive again. 82 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,579 {\an8}I'm sure there's a correlation, 83 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,041 {\an8}but could there be a... causation?! 84 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,175 {\an8}These flowers saved me from a terrible fate-- 85 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,720 {\an8}not getting an "A" on my next science project. 86 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,097 {\an8}-(laughs) -Lisa, we have to go. 87 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,599 {\an8}Milhouse found a hippie skeleton and he's freaking out. 88 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,143 Never get off the bus. 89 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,603 Never get off the bus! 90 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,943 {\an8}Check it out! Something pathetic's going on. 91 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,404 {\an8}You can't throw me out! I'm not dead yet! 92 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,739 {\an8}That's the deal, man! 93 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,616 {\an8}I'm sorry, Abe, but you're just too cranky. 94 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,910 {\an8}I got a right to be cranky. 95 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,039 {\an8}The food stinks and the TV's only got one channel. 96 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,708 {\an8}-That's a fish tank. -You're a fish tank. 97 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,752 {\an8}That is so hurtful. 98 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,212 {\an8}(sobbing) I wish I was a fish tank. 99 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,090 {\an8}Then I could filter out his nasty words. 100 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,134 {\an8}He called me a fish tank... 101 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,886 {\an8}Just go, Abe. 102 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,471 That doesn't seem fair-- 103 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,973 they won't let him escape, then they kick him out. 104 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,516 I wonder where he'll go. 105 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,935 Either the grave or somewhere much worse. 106 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,105 (sputtering) Sour cream and chives? 107 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,274 In my day, all we put on potatoes 108 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,860 was pine needles and barber hair. 109 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,445 I hate this century. 110 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:06,908 Okay, we're going to take turns having Grampa as a roommate. 111 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,368 Who wants to go first? 112 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,619 (high-pitched) Me! Me! 113 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,706 I want him every night, forever and ever. 114 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,125 'Cause I love my-- (muffled) 115 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,296 Nose in a funny book, how rude. 116 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,256 Ain't you never heard of conversation? 117 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,925 (sighs) Fine. 118 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,718 -How's it going? -Terrible. 119 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,971 I got this new roommate, and he won't stop yapping. 120 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,100 Here's an experiment for you-- 121 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,144 find a man who wants to marry a lady poindexter. 122 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,604 (laughs) 123 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,272 MARGE: Homie... 124 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,024 Hey, you call that making love? 125 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,902 MARGE: Homer, I told you he wouldn't sleep through it. 126 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,488 In my day, women didn't make a sound. 127 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,660 LISA: This calls for some Springfield Silvertongue. 128 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,083 Dad, look. 129 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,918 This essence of a wildflower 130 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,546 makes these angry scorpions docile. 131 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,005 That's great, honey. 132 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,550 If you were a boy, you'd be a scientist. 133 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,051 GRAMPA: Back off, you mutt. 134 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,387 Or I'll make dog-head soup out of you. 135 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:14,142 Hmm, if it works on nasty scorpions, 136 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:18,771 then maybe... it'll work on nasty stains. 137 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,443 It does. 138 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,862 (grunts) 139 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,991 And there's something else it might be good for. 140 00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:33,286 (noisy chewing and swallowing) 141 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,081 Why are you guys eating so fast? 142 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,250 Trying to get out of here before Grampa wakes up. 143 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,878 -(footsteps thudding) -(Grampa muttering) 144 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,590 -That's him! -Mom, quick, our lunches! 145 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,425 Go! Save yourselves! 146 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,843 (gasps) 147 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,554 Good morning, family. 148 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,306 It's such a beautiful day, 149 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:56,184 I thought I'd take my little friend here for a walk. 150 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,269 Abe, are you feeling all right? 151 00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,395 Never better. 152 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,273 The sun is shining, there's a spring in my slippers, 153 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,567 and my wonderful son woke me up 154 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,278 with a delicious cup of coffee. 155 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,113 Hmm... 156 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:13,868 Dad, is there anything unusual in Grampa's coffee? 157 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,286 Uh, you look tense. 158 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,206 Let's discuss this over a cup of Grampa's coffee. 159 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,626 (shudders giddily) 160 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,217 Here you go, champ. 161 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,135 Go buy yourself some rock-and-roll records. 162 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,012 To the antique store. 163 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,847 (humming tune) 164 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,849 Now, what can I do for you? 165 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,518 Eat something green? 166 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,353 Vote for someone brown? 167 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,648 Dad, I know what you did. 168 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,024 -(Homer screams) -(doorknob rattling) 169 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,443 -And I locked the back door. -HOMER: D'oh! 170 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,072 ...and that's why you're acting so sweet and kind. 171 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,533 Because Dad drugged you. 172 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,830 -Oh, thank you! Thank you! -(laughing) 173 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,749 Your kisses feel like raw liver. 174 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,001 But it's not real happiness. 175 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,754 It's just because of an untested drug. 176 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,674 So what? There are no guarantees in life. 177 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,009 We don't know if this... 178 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,594 knife is safe. 179 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,556 Turns out it's not. 180 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,058 The point is, when I'm cranky, 181 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,227 nobody likes me, sweet pea. 182 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,563 Let me live as a happy man 183 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,190 for my remaining 30 years. 184 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,110 Come on, come on, make with the laffy juice. 185 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,654 I want to take Grampa to have his belly button pierced. 186 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,406 I could hang my Purple Heart from it. 187 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:37,285 ♪ Ya-da-dee-dee-dee, la-da-da-da-da-da-da... ♪ 188 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,121 -♪ Ya-da-dee-dee... ♪ -♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do... ♪ 189 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,376 It was wrong of me to play goddess. 190 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,439 Everything everyone just said is either obvious or wrong. 191 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,608 Homer, do something about your dad. 192 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,277 He's casting a pall over this grim dungeon full of losers. 193 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,778 Pfft! Dungeon?! 194 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,322 We can leave anytime we want. 195 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,534 Homer, why don't you just make some more of the serum yourself? 196 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,621 Oh, because Lisa won't tell me what flower it's from. 197 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,372 Excuse me... 198 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,625 My name is Walter Hotenhoffer, 199 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,044 and I'm in the pharmaceutical business. 200 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,670 I was wondering when that guy 201 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,547 was gonna state his name and occupation. 202 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,673 Quiet! 203 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,800 Sir, has your daughter found a drug 204 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,304 that renders old people tolerable to us normals? 205 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,723 Yeah, but Lisa won't tell me how to make it. 206 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,141 Lisa is irrelevant. 207 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,643 You'd better elaborate. 208 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,103 All I need is one drop of extract, 209 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,106 and I can synthesize the drug at my plant. 210 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,692 But where do I find that drop? 211 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,154 Nein... Nein... 212 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,824 Nein... Nein... Aha! 213 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,787 Not so fast, Fritz. 214 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,206 Before you waltz off with my grampa grease, 215 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:09,418 I want to know-- what did you do during the war? 216 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,338 World War II? I wasn't born yet. 217 00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:16,258 Funny how many Germans say that these days. 218 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,346 (humming tune) 219 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,765 Hmm? 220 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,850 (grunts) 221 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,522 (pants) 222 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,524 (Bart hums) 223 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,943 (Homer groans) 224 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,736 WALTER: From that one droplet, 225 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,948 I have synthesized 50 different compounds. 226 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,451 Please identify the one that is ausgezeichnet. 227 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,745 Nothing. Nothing. 228 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,289 Can't feel my fingers. Feel 'em too much. 229 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,625 Erection. Derection. 230 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,544 I smell music. 231 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,170 Oh, this'll never work. 232 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,965 But when you're doing it with people you love, 233 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,759 you just can't help smiling. 234 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,720 -(both gasp) -Jawohl. 235 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,681 -I've isolated the molecule. -(laughs) Nerd. 236 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,975 Now we test him. 237 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,853 "How do you feel about the high salaries 238 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,355 of today's baseball players?" 239 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,233 Oh, don't get me started on that one. 240 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,069 They're just plain better than the greats of my day. 241 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,781 God bless them, and their refusal to learn English. 242 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,450 (laughs) 243 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,828 Huh? This one didn't make me feel anything. 244 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,331 (howls) D'oh! 245 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,461 These are my "Suitcase Suzies," 246 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:36,088 who will use their beauty and free giveaways 247 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,091 to make sure our drug is prescribed. 248 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,927 Cool. Are they robots? 249 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,764 No, robots can develop human feelings. 250 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,017 We're graduates of Arizona State. 251 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,436 We scoop them up by the sorority. 252 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,690 Uh... this is the nerd fraternity. 253 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,193 (groans) Drop them in research. 254 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,779 Nice. 255 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,532 Thank you for the tour of your factory, Mr. Wonka. 256 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,368 I am not Willy Wonka. 257 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,538 No, no. You're Augustus Gloop, the fat German boy. 258 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,958 Ja, it is true, I am Gloop. 259 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,796 Being stuck in that tube changed me in so many ways. 260 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,299 Gentlemen, we've been doing a lot of funny things today, 261 00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,551 but now I must be scary. 262 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,305 -Go ahead. -Here is the prototype of our pill. 263 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,725 Grampapa, no one but you should take this drug 264 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,561 until it has been through rigorous trials. 265 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,231 Be careful-- if the wrong hands got hold of it, 266 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,401 a fortune could be made by selling this drug on the black market. 267 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,071 Hmm... wrong hands, eh? 268 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,240 That's your cue, boys. 269 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,783 (smug chuckling) 270 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:51,038 You sell drugs. Why can't you dress like that? 271 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,707 Because I use them, too, idiot. 272 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,510 MRS. SKINNER: No wonder you've still got pimples at your age. 273 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,512 You've got all this candy in your desk. 274 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,014 They're Tums for my acid reflux. 275 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,933 Even your acid wants out of you. 276 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,601 (knocking) 277 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,105 (whispers) I got something to stuff in that old bag. 278 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,273 (grunts) 279 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,862 Accursed tide. 280 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,364 Flee from my wrath. 281 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:29,034 No! I've been moistened! (groans) 282 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,412 (whispers) I've got some junk to put a smile on that corpse. 283 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,255 (Mr. Burns chuckles) 284 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,136 (chuckles) Don't player hate. 285 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,596 I'm just a businessboy. 286 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,181 All right, Bart. What are you up to now? 287 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,199 Now that's what I call a fishing trip. 288 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,951 (gasps) That's what I was gonna call it. 289 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,411 (laughing) 290 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:16,040 Wait, I can't go in there grinning like a Swede on payday. 291 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,042 It'll rile up poor Lisa 292 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,961 if she knows I'm still popping that smiley-pill. 293 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,963 Oh, yeah-- you better "grump it up." 294 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,757 (clearing throat) 295 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,677 (mumbling) 296 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478 Three dollars for a cup of coffee?! 297 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:41,023 In my day it cost you a dime, and they gave you back a quarter. 298 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,275 And another thing-- the, um... 299 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,195 It's okay, Grampa. You don't have to act grumpy. 300 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,490 I know you're taking the drug, and I don't mind, 'cause you're happy. 301 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,659 Oh! Thanks, sweetie. 302 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,452 I'm sorry I was so stubborn. 303 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,204 I hope you're not mad. 304 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,705 Oh, I ain't mad, 305 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,582 and I never will be again, 306 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:02,127 thanks to your wonderful, wonderful... 307 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,796 (all screaming) 308 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,214 Let me finish-- 309 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,676 thanks to your wonderful, wonderful drug. 310 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,313 (gasps) It happened to the scorpions, too. 311 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,732 The flower essence must have the side effect 312 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,485 of lubricating the eye sockets to the point of popping. 313 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,696 More saline, please. 314 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,407 At some point, I think we should see a doctor. 315 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,576 No, it's cool-- it's like we've got our own monster. 316 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,453 Your grandfather is not a monster. 317 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,748 Now, let's chain him in the basement until the circus comes to town. 318 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,000 Sounds good. 319 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,503 (sighs) At least no one else has taken this drug. 320 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,796 (loud gulp) 321 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,132 Bart, why are you tugging on your collar? 322 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,300 It better be tonsillitis. 323 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,011 Well, actually... 324 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:56,181 I may have accidentally traded a few of those pills for money... 325 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,559 -(all gasping) -...which I may have already spent, 326 00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:01,145 ironically, on these novelty eyeglasses. 327 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,105 Howdy, handsome. 328 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,524 Look! 329 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,034 Ooh! (laughs) 330 00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,167 Ooh, yeah, yeah. Who loves Mommy's eyeballs? 331 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,461 Oh, there's a kitty gonna sleep good tonight. 332 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,046 Yes, you are. 333 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,219 So, I guess we're all in the same boat, huh? 334 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,387 Nein, nein. 335 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,307 My boat is me and hundreds of lawyers. 336 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,726 Your boat has you and a lot of people 337 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,478 with their eyes falling out. 338 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,355 Walter, when a man puts something on a Frisbee, 339 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,149 he should stand by it. 340 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,692 {\an8}See? 341 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,985 {\an8}Walter: You are right. 342 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:54,073 As always, the Frisbee is the mirror to the soul. 343 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,658 Mr. Hotenhoffer, there's a mob outside. 344 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,161 An angry mob? 345 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,746 No, a cheerful mob. 346 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,791 (groans) I'd like to have just one day 347 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,418 when I don't put a gun to my head. 348 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,669 (cheering) 349 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,341 Now, I ain't much for speeches... 350 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,010 (popping) 351 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,430 But we sure do appreciate what you done for us, 352 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:22,434 and, uh, we were just hoping we could get more of that drug. 353 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,521 Lots more. 354 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,022 (cheering) 355 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,775 Those poor googly-eyed fools. 356 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,985 I cannot exploit them like this. 357 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,947 I will have to be content exploiting their fear 358 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,366 of losing hair and penis. 359 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,202 I will destroy the drug. 360 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,037 -(crowd jeering) -What? Well, I never... 361 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,665 Walter, let's not be so hasty. 362 00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:47,584 Who would begrudge them a few years of shambling, 363 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,837 dope-fogged, into the grave? 364 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,549 Besides, our generation's got everything under control. 365 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,676 Now, if you'll excuse me, 366 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,636 I was supposed to be drunk an hour ago. 367 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,263 To Moe's. 368 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,891 Flat tires? 369 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,476 No problem. 370 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,354 Oh! 371 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,731 Homer, use your head. Just buy a new car. 372 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,067 Great idea, but I don't have any money. 373 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,736 You could take out a loan with your house as collateral. 374 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,698 And I wouldn't have to pay it back for three more years. 375 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,908 What are the odds of that much time happening? 376 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,660 Pretty close to zero, I'd say. 377 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,162 Problem solved. 378 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,956 Generation awesome does it again. 379 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,500 -Boo-ya! -Oh, yes! 380 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,586 All right, you googly-eyed geezers, 381 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,839 turn up your hearing aids-- I've got something to say. 382 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,507 (feedback squealing) 383 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,384 Together, we survived the Depression, 384 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,179 won a few wars, and put a man on the moon. 385 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,223 In fact, the only mistake our generation made 386 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,726 was creating that generation. 387 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,019 (cheering and laughing) 388 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,563 If we want to set these bumblers straight, 389 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,733 it's gonna take all the crankiness we can muster. 390 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,944 So put down those pills, pop in your eyeballs, 391 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,780 and "upside-down" them smiles. 392 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,782 (cheering) 393 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,784 Let's do as he says. 394 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,288 (chuckles) 395 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:17,466 Wow, their "can do" 396 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:21,303 will bail out our "won't try" every time. 397 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,181 So I guess the lesson here is... 398 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,975 If you go on a field trip, don't break off from the group. 399 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,187 And if you are a fat little boy in a chocolate factory, 400 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,481 never try to drink from the river. 401 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,483 The tube. My God. 402 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,069 Every night I see the tube. 403 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,992 (theme music playing) 404 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,745 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 405 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:34,960 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay