1 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,214 -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -(Willie grunts) 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,299 {\an8}(theme music playing) 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,594 (exclaims) 4 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,852 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,022 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,732 (tires screeching) 7 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,526 D'oh! 8 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,903 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 9 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,322 ♪♪ 10 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,582 (yells) 11 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,096 {\an8}Mm! 12 00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,851 (whistling) 13 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,148 (moaning eerily) 14 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,831 Hey! Huh? 15 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,184 {\an8}-♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪ -(Bart slurps loudly) 16 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,519 {\an8}(scary music plays) 17 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,524 It's alive! 18 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,323 It's alive! 19 00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,700 (screams) 20 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,285 Friend? 21 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,539 (screams) 22 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,332 {\an8}(laughing) 23 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,084 {\an8}Bart, you want to see something cool? 24 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,169 {\an8}Oh, did you pick that big scab off your knee? 25 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,713 {\an8}-No. -Don't touch the scab! 26 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,925 {\an8}My science fair project proves that an asteroid 27 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,470 {\an8}will strike the Earth on July 15th, 9789. 28 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,223 {\an8}Who cares? I'll be President of Hell by then. 29 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,183 {\an8}Fine. Good luck with your project, 30 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,102 {\an8}which I'm sure you haven't started yet. 31 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,856 {\an8}I'll tell you my project. A fisteroid hitting the planet Nerd! 32 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,316 {\an8}That's pathetic. 33 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,319 {\an8}Aw, geez, I put a lot of time in this. 34 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,238 {\an8}Back to the drawing board. 35 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,408 {\an8}Hmm... 36 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,785 {\an8}Hey, Bart! Is your cootie shot ready? 37 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,204 {\an8}No. The science fair's not till next week. 38 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,956 {\an8}I really need that shot. 39 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,542 {\an8}My dog and I accidentally touched tongues. 40 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,753 {\an8}How is it "accidentally" when this is the fifth time? 41 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,215 {\an8}-(door shuts) -Bart, isn't that awfully similar 42 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,885 {\an8}to the cootie patch you did last year? 43 00:02:56,968 --> 00:03:00,221 {\an8}That was preventative. This is morning-after. 44 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,099 {\an8}Oh, you're right. 45 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,269 Oh, what am I going to do? 46 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,271 Good ideas don't grow on trees. 47 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,106 Hmm. 48 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,108 Or do they? 49 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,611 {\an8}(humming wistfully) 50 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,907 {\an8}(grunts) Good shot! 51 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,910 {\an8}Not really. I was trying to bounce it off your left testie. 52 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,578 {\an8}"Testis," my friend. 53 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,748 {\an8}(sighs) Look, I need help with my science fair project. 54 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,753 {\an8}To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball. 55 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,005 {\an8}Ah! To be a mathlete! 56 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,673 {\an8}Without the "M." 57 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,843 {\an8}(dance music playing) 58 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:42,055 {\an8}Fly, orb, and find thy hoop! 59 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,438 I'm in! 60 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,275 (panting) 61 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,610 (bird caws) 62 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,738 {\an8}"In the event of a primary core breach, 63 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,491 {\an8}you have 15 seconds to avoid a complete..." 64 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,826 {\an8}(yawns) 65 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,335 (snoring) 66 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,295 -Howdy! -(sputters) 67 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,047 A woman of stature! 68 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:19,133 {\an8}-Roz Davis, your new assistant. -Assistant? 69 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,095 {\an8}Well, I have been pretty overworked lately. 70 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,639 {\an8}But I guess I should find out a little bit about you. 71 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,641 {\an8}I'm just a gal from Ohio 72 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,811 {\an8}who never wants to call her daddy again and say, "I need to borrow money." 73 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,312 {\an8}So your dad has money to lend? 74 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,898 {\an8}(bird caws) 75 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,900 {\an8}This is where we get our coffee. 76 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,443 {\an8}Just leave a little at the bottom, 77 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,654 {\an8}so someone else has to make the next pot. 78 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,698 {\an8}The burning smell will let them know. 79 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:42,991 {\an8}Genius. 80 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,742 {\an8}Uh-oh. It's old man Burns. 81 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,245 {\an8}Hello, young man Burns! 82 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,665 {\an8}Oh, Simpson, you do know how to whip my buggy. 83 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:55,878 {\an8}(chuckles) That sucker soaks up flattery 84 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,673 {\an8}like a Twinkie soaks up gravy. 85 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,843 Well, when it's a handsome guy like you talking... 86 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,594 (laughing) Well... 87 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,014 Your giggle's like strawberry wine. 88 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,432 Oh! 89 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,142 (giggles, snorts) 90 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,436 And your snort's like a summer breeze. 91 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,770 (laughing) 92 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,856 (choking, coughing) 93 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,528 That's not very attractive, though. 94 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,363 -You okay? -(grunts) I'm fine. 95 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,371 Bart, I fail to see the scientific function 96 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,999 of this "Homer Humiliator" you've devised. 97 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,336 Well, we gotta come up with something. 98 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,881 Hey, what if we make some kind of robopet? 99 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,425 What made you think of that? 100 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,679 -(panting) -(shrieks) 101 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,931 Thy will be done, Lord Vader. 102 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,975 Just don't hurt me. Oh, please! 103 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,978 A robopet! Not a bad idea. 104 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,522 -Bully, Bart! Bully! -Where? Is it Nelson? 105 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,108 No, Bart, it's just an expression. 106 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,444 Who hath summoned me? 107 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,071 (shuddering) 108 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,948 -♪ Everybody ♪ -♪ It's a future shock ♪ 109 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,743 ♪ Future shock ♪ 110 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,244 ♪ Future shock... ♪ 111 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,289 -Baby seal, huh? -Research shows it's impossible 112 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,417 to gaze at a baby seal and say anything but... 113 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,253 -Aw... -Precisely. 114 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,091 And at science fairs, the "aw"s get the "A"s. 115 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,384 {\an8}-(growling) -Ah! 116 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,761 {\an8}Heavens to Asimov! Hmm. 117 00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,597 {\an8}Must make sure these wires aren't crossed. 118 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,685 Aw... 119 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,357 -(growling) -(shrieks) Marge! 120 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,442 Get my seal club! The big one! 121 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,027 They're all pretty big. 122 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,659 (grunts) 123 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,379 {\an8}I'm an experiment. 124 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,258 (beeping faster and faster) 125 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,636 -Fine. -(beeping) 126 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,390 (sighs) 127 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,891 BART: Check it out! 128 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,101 ALL: Aw... 129 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,395 So the soft fur, big eyes, and gentle motion 130 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,605 are designed to make it one hell of a pet, 131 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,357 with none of the poop. 132 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,443 This is the most adorable thing 133 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,862 I've ever seen in my entire life. 134 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,578 (clears throat) What a wonderful science fair. 135 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,621 Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, 136 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,623 we could not afford our third place ribbon. 137 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,668 Now, in second place, Lisa Simpson's grim description 138 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,463 of our shortsighted dependence on fossil fuels. 139 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,506 It's about an asteroid. 140 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,550 They're all the same, Gloomhilda. 141 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,636 First place goes to Bart Simpson and Martin Prince... 142 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,805 -Yeah! -(kisses) 143 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,974 ...for creating a furry robotic friend 144 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,393 who provides comfort when humans fail to. 145 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,728 Which they will, trust me. 146 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:02,273 I carried you in my belly for four and a half months. 147 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,693 When you fell out on the bus, that's when my job ended. 148 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,655 (Ping-Pong ball bouncing) 149 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,742 Congratulations on getting a ribbon, Lisa! 150 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,745 You must've baked a mighty fine pie. 151 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,538 It wasn't a pie. 152 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,957 It was science! And it's not fair. 153 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,210 My project was way better than Bart's, 154 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,045 and I didn't have help from a nerd! 155 00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:26,881 -I'm my own nerd! -Oh, sweetie. 156 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,342 Being second ain't the worst thing that can happen. 157 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,928 Look at poor old Jasper over there. 158 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,680 (raspy sigh) 159 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,643 (sighs) He lost his wife, his kids don't call. 160 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,521 Soon he'll just be bones and beard. 161 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,773 (muttering) 162 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,278 (electronic barking) 163 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,490 (barks) 164 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,537 (laughs) 165 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,997 (waltz music playing) 166 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,047 {\an8}Wow. 167 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,591 {\an8}While I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, 168 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:14,303 {\an8}Bart's invention actually changed someone's life. 169 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:18,307 {\an8}And best of all, I got funding for my Homer Humiliator. 170 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,767 Hmm! 171 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,727 Ooh! D'oh! 172 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,939 Why would a Homer Humiliator do this to me? 173 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,789 (ringing) 174 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,708 Yello. Hey, Barney. 175 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,919 A free movie screening? Of course I can go! 176 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,547 I just need somebody to hold down the fort. 177 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,798 Hmm... 178 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,550 Hm! Oh, uh, Roz? 179 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,261 I have to step out for one hour and 43 minutes. 180 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,138 -Could you cover for me? -Go ahead. 181 00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:00,600 (whoops) Oh, uh, if an emergency alarm goes off, 182 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,227 there's earplugs in the top drawer. 183 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,229 (horn honks) 184 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,485 (grunts) 185 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,160 Mm-mm. 186 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,828 (groans) 187 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,538 (laughing loudly) 188 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,582 Life imitates Flart. 189 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,835 -It says that on the poster. -I thought of it first. 190 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,547 Marge, I just saw the greatest movie! 191 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,176 Guess what happens when a mop is replaced with an octopus. 192 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,677 I'll give you a clue. 193 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,054 It's funny! 194 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,598 Take off the 3-D glasses. 195 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,518 -(screams) -Simpson-- a gangly little bird 196 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,271 told me you've been lollygagging at the Biograph. 197 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,690 (stammering) Someone snitched? 198 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,525 W-W-What are you going to do to me? 199 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,153 -You're demoted. -Up, or down? 200 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,113 -Down! -(shrieks) 201 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,241 Don't tell my wife. 202 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,327 (children laughing) 203 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,081 So, partner, what's next on the agenda? 204 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,832 Oh, um... 205 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,292 Back off, man! 206 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,628 Can't you see you're embarrassing Bart? 207 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,505 When did you take that picture? 208 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,673 (chuckles) 209 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,966 Last time you slept over at my house. 210 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,761 I love when you're sleeping and at peace. 211 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,805 (groans) 212 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,599 Hey, Skippy, we need some more of them lovable critters 213 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,101 for our friends at the home. 214 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,103 (chuckles) Unless you got any heroin. 215 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,604 You got any heroin? 216 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,690 Hmm? 217 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,859 Well, then, critters it is. 218 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,947 I'm telling you guys, 219 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,366 Roz told old man Burns I ditched work early, 220 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,118 and now I'm her assistant. 221 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,494 I don't know, Homer. 222 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,747 You're saying she's nice on the outside, but mean on the inside? 223 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,041 -No one could pull that off. -Enjoy. 224 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,710 And as for you, Homer, don't worry. 225 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:54,380 You're at Moe's tavern-- lady-free since '83. 226 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:57,133 What the... This is a gentleman's club! 227 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,218 Yeah! (belches) 228 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:02,638 So, what you boys drinkin'? I'm buyin'. 229 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,473 Can we just have the cash value of the drink? 230 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,809 -Be my guest. -I'd rather use my money 231 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,894 to buy a Moe souvenir T-shirt. 232 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,564 That comes in kid sizes, too. 233 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,941 HOMER: Oh, no, this is terrible. 234 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,943 What am I gonna do? Oh... 235 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,529 -Aren't you gonna come to bed, Homie? -Can't, Marge. 236 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,656 I'm fighting for my professional life here. 237 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,533 Do you know what I just learned? 238 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,870 My job is the reason I get those checks every week. 239 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,040 And now that I'm demoted, the checks have gotten smaller. 240 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,376 Not in physical size, but... 241 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,794 I know. I know. 242 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,964 ♪♪ 243 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,194 I represent the Eternal Valley funeral home, 244 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,489 and I'm here to talk about an extremely unpleasant subject-- 245 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,282 people continuing to live. 246 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,659 If we don't have a frickin' funeral soon, people, 247 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,828 you can say good-bye to Howard's Flowers! 248 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,705 Calm down, Howard, Jr. 249 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,041 Now, here is the zip, the zap, and the zing. 250 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,293 We're gonna rewire Charlie Loveable here 251 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,879 into the greatest threat to seniors' lives 252 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,256 since nursing homes themselves. 253 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,302 Switcheroo. 254 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,471 (growling) 255 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,937 Impressive. 256 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,190 Hard to believe two ten-year-old kids built this. 257 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,858 And I heard one of them did all the work. 258 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,943 -Wow. -It's true. 259 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,952 (panting) Am I early? 260 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,495 You're late. 261 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,914 Since I got demoted, I have to show my I.D., 262 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,541 but the picture was taken so long ago, 263 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,750 I put on a lot of weight, 264 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,877 so I have to stretch out my face and say, 265 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,921 "I used to look like this." 266 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,172 Late. 267 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,509 You're mean. 268 00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:06,470 Now, I want a list of 100 ways to make your job worse 269 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,055 by close of business today. 270 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,558 -Can one of the 100 be making the list? -No. 271 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,685 Can some of them be callbacks to earlier ones? 272 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,854 -Also, no. -(groans) 273 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,816 We're live at the Springfield Retirement Castle, 274 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,694 where longtime resident, Alice Glick, died last night, 275 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:24,238 at the paws of this cuddly little killer. 276 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,282 Our Channel Six substitute medical expert 277 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,784 Dr. Nick Riviera had this to say. 278 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,078 The champion was cleared to fight. 279 00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:34,707 Ahem, Doctor, this press conference is about a nursing home death. 280 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,333 The Springfield police are in the process 281 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,459 -of taking all the robots... -(screaming) 282 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,837 ...into custody, safely returning the seniors 283 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,047 -to their hopeless, dismal lives. -(gunfire) 284 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,216 Shut that thing off. 285 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,635 -(machine stops) -I meant the TV! 286 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,679 -Sorry. -(machine whirs) 287 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,181 (doorbell rings) 288 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,019 Hi. We need someone to reprogram our robots to break out of jail. 289 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,771 (stutters excitedly) A chance to reprogram robots? 290 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,524 Well, I had a date with a beauty queen tonight, 291 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,109 but forget it. 292 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,778 (touch-tones beeping) 293 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,989 Uh, hello, yes, hello, Miss Wyoming? 294 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,326 I'll have to climb your Grand Tetons another night. 295 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,202 (laughs) The breast joke! 296 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,121 I-I served it up. 297 00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:16,540 Why won't he love me?! 298 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,043 (sobbing) 299 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:28,052 "Do this, do that." Lousy Roz thinks she's so big. 300 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,179 Well, looks like it's time for another 301 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,139 "End of the Walk Talk With Homer and Ned." 302 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,475 Tonight's topic-- the niceness of the evening. 303 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,144 -Hey. -Homer, all nonsense aside, 304 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,729 are you oka-lidoka-laroony? 305 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:42,399 (sighs) I'm having problems with my new boss Roz. 306 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,778 She's the most evil person to come out of Ohio since LeBron. 307 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,571 But at least he thought long and hard 308 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,658 before screwing everybody over, in public, for no reason. 309 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:54,370 You know, I knew a backstabbing Buckeye named Roz at Bible camp. 310 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,498 -Twice as tall as she should've been. -(gasps) Is this her? 311 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:58,832 Come on! 312 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,335 The apple must be wreaking havoc with the Twinkie! 313 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,962 (gasps) It is. 314 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,546 But if you've got the stones, 315 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,715 I can tell you how to slay that "Gal-ioth." 316 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:10,344 Are you aware that "stones" means man junk? 317 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,763 What the-- I've been using that around the boys. 318 00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,932 (groans weakly) 319 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,768 Whew! Thank you. 320 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,688 Now, it was one of our biggest celebrations, 321 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,399 the 19th Sunday after Easter. 322 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,985 We'd just had a rousing no-fun run, and in the heat of the moment, 323 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,404 I wanted to offer my respectful best wishes. 324 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,863 Peace be with you. 325 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:32,741 Well, sir, she went crazy. 326 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,827 Crazier than sleeping in on a Sunday. 327 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,704 I can't stand to be touched! 328 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,914 Never tell anyone! 329 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,250 And I haven't. Not until now. 330 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,460 That's it! That's it! 331 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,212 My nightmare is over! 332 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,424 Oh, Flanders, you are my personal savior. 333 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,342 Oh, that's nice, but I don't approve of... 334 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,429 Hail Flanders! Mightier than Jesus! 335 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,264 (groans) 336 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,309 Yes, I, uh, I hereby call to order 337 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:03,355 this meeting of the North American Man-Bot Love Association. 338 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,859 I'll say this one more time-- we really should change that name. 339 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,736 Yes, all right, I'll change it to whatever you like, 340 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,697 as long as "Man-Bot Love" is in there somewhere. 341 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,450 Now, let's look at these blueprints, shall we? 342 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,785 (excited murmuring) 343 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,372 MARTIN: Wish I'd thought of that. 344 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,125 Uh, first, we remotely adjust them 345 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,210 so they will never be malicious again. 346 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:26,503 There, there, and there. 347 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,756 Now, arise, little ones! 348 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,551 (snores, mutters) 349 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,553 Hey-Hey, what's going on here? 350 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,472 I better call 9-1-1. 351 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,432 (busy signal beeping) 352 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,185 Oh, it's always busy when I call. 353 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,395 (sighs) What a bunch of idiots. 354 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,194 Hey-- Aw, I can't stay mad at you. 355 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,238 {\an8}Go on, get out of here. 356 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,532 {\an8}-Oh, oh, Chief? -Yeah? 357 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,036 Yeah, you, too. 358 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,038 (chuckles) 359 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,290 Although this millennium is still young, 360 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:06,126 I feel it is time to award this giant trophy, 361 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,795 paid for with your health care cuts... 362 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,589 -(crowd groans) -...to our beloved Roz. 363 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,217 (one person clapping slowly) 364 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,803 What the deuce? Sarcastic clapping? 365 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,640 Congratulations, Roz. 366 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,600 What are you doing here, Simpson? 367 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,894 If there isn't dry cleaning in the back of my car, 368 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,355 there's gonna be blood on my knuckles. 369 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,441 Uh, I just came to say that you're perfect. 370 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:33,445 So perfect, I think Mr. Burns should give you a hug. 371 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,115 (gasps) Who told you? 372 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,742 I won't say, but his initials are S.F. 373 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,452 Stupid Flanders! 374 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,287 (chanting) Hug, hug, hug! 375 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,164 EMPLOYEES: Hug, hug, hug, 376 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,167 hug, hug, hug, hug. 377 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,878 (roaring) 378 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,463 (bones cracking) 379 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,466 You're fired. 380 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,636 I underestimated you. 381 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,179 I don't know what that middle word means. 382 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,224 Well, it means my perception of you is that you were kind of a goof, 383 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,184 but now I see you're rather clever. 384 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,603 -What is perception? -It's how I view you. 385 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:07,938 -You understand that? -No. 386 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,231 I used to think you were an idiot. 387 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,066 Now it turns out, you're not such an idiot, 388 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,861 in fact, you might even be smart. 389 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,279 Little help? 390 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,782 (both grunting) 391 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,292 (muffled grunting) 392 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,502 Rub the butter around you. 393 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,129 (gulps) Need more butter! 394 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,256 And not the unsalted. 395 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,049 Do you want to get out of there or not? 396 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:43,557 Mr. J., if I don't get my green card, 397 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,727 they're gonna turn me back into a washing machine. 398 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,896 No dawdling. Just move it along. 399 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,986 (sighs) 400 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,616 Oy, oy! My mechanical mensch! 401 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,035 How I missed you. (grunts) 402 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,621 Bless you, boys. 403 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:09,541 Now that we got 'em back, we'll never let 'em go again. 404 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,501 'Cause there's no stronger force 405 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:15,130 than a senior citizen holding onto a freebie. 406 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,341 ("Golden Years" by David Bowie playing) 407 00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,468 ♪ Golden years ♪ 408 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,012 ♪ Gold... ♪ 409 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,056 (growling) 410 00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:26,350 ♪ Golden years... ♪ 411 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,977 ♪ Gold... ♪ 412 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,023 ♪ Golden years ♪ 413 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:35,234 ♪ Gold... ♪ 414 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,694 {\an8}♪ Don't let me hear you say life's ♪ 415 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:41,490 {\an8}♪ Taking you nowhere, angel ♪ 416 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,992 {\an8}♪ Come, get up, my baby ♪ 417 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,328 {\an8}♪ Look at that sky, life's begun ♪ 418 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:50,832 {\an8}♪ Nights are warm and the days are young ♪ 419 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,668 {\an8}♪ Come, get up, my baby ♪ 420 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,045 {\an8}♪ There's my baby lost, that's all ♪ 421 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,631 {\an8}♪ Once I'm begging you, save her little soul ♪ 422 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,675 {\an8}♪ Golden years ♪ 423 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,760 {\an8}♪ Gold... ♪ 424 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,515 {\an8}♪ Come, get up, my baby ♪ 425 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,433 {\an8}♪ Last night, they loved you ♪ 426 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:12,896 {\an8}♪ Opening doors and pulling some strings, angel ♪ 427 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,982 {\an8}♪ Come, get up, my baby ♪ 428 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,317 {\an8}♪ In walked luck and you looked in time ♪ 429 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:21,613 {\an8}♪ Never look back, walk tall, act fine... ♪ 430 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,740 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 431 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,955 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay