1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,256
CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,467
{\an8}MARGE: And here's a marble
for Lisa for cleaning her room,
3
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,554
{\an8}and a marble for Bart
for not trashing Lisa's room.
4
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,097
{\an8}The jars are full,
5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,475
{\an8}so you've earned
your Saturday Surprise Dad Day!
6
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,727
{\an8}BOTH: Yay!
7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,188
{\an8}This Saturday, from the dad
who brought you cemetery paintball
8
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,232
{\an8}and go-karts on real roads,
9
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:26,568
{\an8}comes the greatest activity yet...
10
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,572
{\an8}BOTH: Video game convention!
11
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,824
{\an8}-(cameras clicking)
-(murmuring)
12
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,162
{\an8}(crowd gasps)
13
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,955
{\an8}(crowd cheering)
14
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,457
{\an8}And check these out.
15
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,333
{\an8}BOTH: VIP passes!
16
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,753
{\an8}Is there any better feeling
than cutting in line
17
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:47,839
{\an8}because a plastic badge
says you're special?
18
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,507
{\an8}(drools)
19
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,719
{\an8}(Bart and Lisa drool)
20
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,554
{\an8}(all gasp)
21
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,307
{\an8}-BART: GTS!
-HOMER: So many games.
22
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,017
-LISA: Ah.
-HOMER: Wow.
23
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,727
BART: Whoa.
24
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,771
(gasps) W.O.K.?!
25
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,898
HOMER: Ooh, the Flying Tomato.
26
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,941
BART: Ah! TMTOLO!
27
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,568
DL2L-to-D!
28
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:11,571
Oh! ACSOL! HC1?!
29
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:12,739
Whoa!
30
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,492
Guts of War Two:
Entrails of Intestinox!
31
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,038
{\an8}Colon slash!
32
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,414
{\an8}Rectum kill!
33
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,917
{\an8}We've made a game
that'll reward the hardcore gamer
34
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,086
{\an8}with hundreds and hundreds of hours of--
35
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,004
{\an8}-Finished it.
-Huh?
36
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,423
{\an8}(fanfare plays)
37
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,759
{\an8}But working on this game
cost me my marriage.
38
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,803
{\an8}I-I have twins I've never met!
39
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:38,264
{\an8}Well, when you meet them,
tell them your game's too easy.
40
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,895
{\an8}This game has all the best
college marching bands.
41
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,356
{\an8}From the precision footwork
of Ohio State
42
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,526
{\an8}to the lame,
dead-on-arrival humor of Stanford.
43
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:52,112
{\an8}-(crowd cheering on game)
-("Stars and Stripes Forever" playing)
44
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,489
{\an8}Uh-oh, I'm losing the crowd!
45
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,032
{\an8}(grunting)
46
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,408
{\an8}GAME ANNOUNCER:
Level cleared.
47
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,661
Next level: study for chemistry test
48
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,746
on 12-hour bus ride home.
49
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:02,956
(giggles)
50
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:05,542
This is the funnest game ever!
51
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,504
{\an8}Man, how many quarters
does this game take?
52
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:13,216
{\an8}Dad! Funtendo is unveiling
their new system in three minutes,
53
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,676
{\an8}in Hall G!
54
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,386
{\an8}And we're in Hall D.
55
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,139
{\an8}Three halls, three minutes.
56
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,308
{\an8}No problem.
57
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,982
{\an8}-HOMER: Out of my way! Move it!
-(people screaming)
58
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,568
{\an8}Geeks must yield to normals!
59
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,777
{\an8}(grunts)
60
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,737
{\an8}(panting heavily)
61
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,534
{\an8}(cash register dings)
62
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,578
{\an8}-(chewing)
-(ascending beeps)
63
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,164
{\an8}-Room's full.
-HOMER: Hmm.
64
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,915
{\an8}Aha!
65
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,208
{\an8}(laughs)
66
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,960
{\an8}BOTH: Yay!
67
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,670
{\an8}(fanfare plays)
68
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}Whoo-hoo!
69
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,883
{\an8}-(humming)
-(tires screech)
70
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,342
{\an8}Conventions rock!
71
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,635
{\an8}Fun Dad rocks!
72
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,095
{\an8}I need a nap!
73
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,680
{\an8}(Bart and Lisa laugh)
74
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,724
{\an8}You kids have had a big day.
75
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,310
{\an8}Head up to the tub
while I deflate your toys.
76
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,520
{\an8}Save us, Fun Dad!
77
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,813
{\an8}(laughter)
78
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,815
{\an8}(Rod and Todd grunt happily)
79
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:17,447
{\an8}The kids sure had
a good time with you.
80
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,241
{\an8}Yeah, I was on today.
81
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,410
{\an8}Scary on.
82
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,829
{\an8}How come they never
call me Fun Mom?
83
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,373
{\an8}Look, honey,
a family's like a team.
84
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,919
{\an8}And on every team,
you have the slam-dunking megastar
85
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,004
{\an8}and the referee.
86
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,255
{\an8}It's not fair.
87
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:38,843
{\an8}Moms want to be fun,
but we're stuck with all the mom stuff.
88
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,512
{\an8}Okay, okay, how about this--
89
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:45,642
{\an8}next week, you take the kids
on a Saturday Surprise Dad Day.
90
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,310
{\an8}What if...
91
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,939
{\an8}we roll pennies
and go to the dollar store?
92
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,273
{\an8}That's good, Marge!
93
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,859
{\an8}Get all the terrible ideas
out of your system.
94
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,361
{\an8}Oh.
95
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,863
I've got it!
96
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:03,117
Your Saturday Surprise Mom Day
is the X-Games!
97
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,411
BOTH: Yay! X-Games! X-Games!
98
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,455
All right!
99
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,958
That isn't an "X," Mom.
100
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,377
Welcome to the Cross Games, Simpsons.
101
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,379
{\an8}A Christian fellowship expo!
102
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,047
{\an8}Are there at least games here?
103
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,590
{\an8}Oh, no, "games" stands for
104
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,927
{\an8}Gathering of American Messengers
for Evangelical Sports.
105
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,387
{\an8}-Sports?
-(chuckles)
106
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:26,015
{\an8}"Sports" stands for Strict Parental
Oversight Rather Than Sports.
107
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,268
{\an8}(both groan)
108
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,021
Come on, kids,
fun comes from inside.
109
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,148
It isn't about what we actually do.
110
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,484
Yes, it is! That's all it is!
111
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,820
You're right, you're right, you're right.
Let's go.
112
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,280
Thank the Lord!
113
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:45,243
Two children to play debtors
in the Parable of the Unjust Steward.
114
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:48,204
All the other kids are at
something called the X-Games.
115
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,957
(Bart and Lisa groan)
116
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,962
{\an8}I'm sorry, gang. I blew it.
117
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,631
{\an8}(groans) I hate it
when grown-ups call kids "gang."
118
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,133
{\an8}Don't worry about it, Mom.
119
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,969
{\an8}Dad will take us
on a great outing next weekend.
120
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,846
{\an8}(sighs)
121
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,556
{\an8}(engine clanks, rattles)
122
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:10,977
{\an8}Why do old squirrels
always crawl into my engine to die?
123
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,645
{\an8}(groans)
124
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,815
{\an8}Guess we'll be making
an unscheduled pit stop, gang.
125
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,734
We're not a gang!
Gangs are cool!
126
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,360
(tires screech)
127
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,823
-Uh, Mom, where are we?
-Nowhere scary.
128
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,702
(engine hissing)
129
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:29,370
Everything's fine.
130
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,789
We'll just wait here
for the tow truck.
131
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,377
That newborn has earrings!
132
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:44,093
-Mom, we're hungry.
-(groans)
133
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:48,222
I guess we could make a sprint
for one of these local establishments.
134
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,311
(Marge groaning)
135
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,775
They're using pancakes as spoons.
136
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,027
Ooh, let's see what else
they do wrong.
137
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,241
(groaning)
138
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,577
Ew! Ugh!
139
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:13,247
They're selling CDs in the restaurant!
140
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,042
-Back to the car!
-What can I get you?
141
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,669
Oh, I'll just have a side salad.
142
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,797
We have no side salad.
143
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,882
-Back to the car!
-Relax, Mom.
144
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,301
-Be adventurous.
-Yeah, just have fun.
145
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,969
Dad would.
146
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,639
(sighs)
147
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,599
What's the craziest thing on the menu?
148
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,893
(chuckles)
She means the most authentic.
149
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,062
Well, that would be
150
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,897
{\an8}the Zelzel Minchet Aletcha Wat.
151
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,484
-Then I'll have that!
-(all gasp)
152
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,698
Okay, Marge, you test-drove
a convertible once, you can do this.
153
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,081
(lively Ethiopian music playing)
154
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,417
(taste buds gasping,
murmuring excitedly)
155
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,172
Holy casserole-y!
156
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,715
That's good gloop!
157
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:06,884
Mmm. Mmm.
158
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,636
I wish I lived in Ethiopia!
159
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,682
Exotic, vegetarian,
160
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,809
I can mention it in a college essay.
161
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,019
Mom, this is amazing!
162
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,188
(all chewing noisily)
163
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,190
Wait, wait, wait,
what is she eating?
164
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,817
They've never served me that dish,
165
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,986
and I wear indigenous
beaded headgear.
166
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,237
Oh, this?
167
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,906
It's just a little
Zelzel Minchet Aletcha Wat.
168
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,241
It's all I ever eat here.
169
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,536
(gasps)
They have prepared her a dish
170
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:37,248
-from the non-translated page!
-(gasps)
171
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:39,417
So grab a pancake
and slurp some slop!
172
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,836
Foodies, heed my call!
173
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:44,255
{\an8}Commence ripping and dipping!
174
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,842
(all chewing noisily)
175
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,344
So, did all of your cars break down?
176
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,764
Mom, they're here on purpose.
They're foodies.
177
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:57,435
Indeed. Our passion is to seek out
interesting foods,
178
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,937
savor their exotic flavors,
then blog about them.
179
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,606
Yes.
180
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,025
We discovered Korean barbecue
in this town.
181
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,444
Uh, before the Koreans?
182
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,946
Oh, sure they cook it,
but they don't get it.
183
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:13,242
"When you stick a pancake into
a friend's mouth, it's a goorsha."
184
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,203
Everybody goorsha!
185
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,913
ALL: Goorsha!
186
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,331
BART and LISA: Goorsha!
Goorsha! Goorsha! Goorsha!
187
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,041
-Goorsha! Goorsha!
-Goorsha! Goorsha!
188
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,835
-Goorsha!
-Marge, the kids are acting ethnic!
189
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,462
Relax, Homie.
190
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:27,507
Have some leftover
Galalalalalalalalah.
191
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,883
(grunting)
192
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,011
Oh, no.
193
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,264
I don't eat anything new
unless I've eaten it before.
194
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,266
Aw, come on, Dad, be a foodie.
195
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,101
You're already a fatty and a drunkie.
196
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,104
I don't want to think about food,
I want to like it.
197
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,898
Why drive across town
198
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,776
to savor a bowl of mystery mush
199
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,778
when there's four different
Krusty Burgers
200
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,488
we can see from our house?
201
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,574
Oh, and here's my favorite restaurant--
202
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,034
La Fridge.
203
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:58,621
It's open 24 hours a day
and there's no dress code.
204
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,252
What kind of American man
205
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,504
doesn't want to explore
global food culture?
206
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,297
And then brag about it
on the Internet.
207
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,800
We should start our own food blog.
208
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,762
(gasps)
The Three Mouthketeers.
209
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,264
Three?
210
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,183
You mean, one, two... me?
211
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,479
(gasps, grunts)
212
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:31,571
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪
213
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,407
♪ Marge and Bart and Lisa ♪
214
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,492
♪ As one now ♪
215
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,287
♪ We're having fun now ♪
216
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,998
♪ Throwing down mad foodie game ♪
217
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,499
♪ Knowing all the chefs' names ♪
218
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,085
♪ Rolling into K-town,
bibimbap and bulgogi ♪
219
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,921
♪ The hotties that I chill with
sriracha and kimchi ♪
220
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,757
♪ Give me house-made terrines,
my duck is always confit ♪
221
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,260
♪ I braise with a billion more
BTUs than I need ♪
222
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,929
♪ Cook Thanksgiving turkey
in a trash bag, sous-vide ♪
223
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,016
♪ A fumatore in Brindisi
FedEx me salami ♪
224
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,768
♪ Don't scoop gelato
unless it's got umami ♪
225
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,521
♪ I'll be frank like Bruni,
ruthless like Reichl ♪
226
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,316
♪ Wiley like Dufresne
when I take the mic out ♪
227
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,692
♪ Rhyme about radicchio ♪
228
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,943
♪ Criticize Colicchio ♪
229
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,570
♪ Every pub is gastro ♪
230
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,071
♪ All my beef carpaccio ♪
231
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,239
♪ Throw it in the pho, yo ♪
232
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,991
♪ And don't you call that pho pho ♪
233
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,909
♪ Talk about broth-squirting dumplings ♪
234
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,411
♪ Dumplings, dumplings, dumplings ♪
235
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:24,874
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪
236
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,711
♪ Uploading pics with our Fun Mom ♪
237
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,839
♪ Fun Mom, Fun Mom ♪
238
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,636
People are loving our list
239
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,555
of Springfield's top 99
Afghan restaurants.
240
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,266
I feel bad for all those places
that didn't make the cut.
241
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,269
All right, food nerds, reality check.
242
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,689
All the food in those pictures
is poop by now.
243
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,651
Minds blown, you're welcome.
244
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,235
Oh.
245
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,905
I'll remind you kids what real fun is.
246
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,616
Hey, hey, kids! (laughs)
247
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,409
Krustyland has a new ride.
248
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,994
The Eyeballs of Death.
249
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,789
It only passed the safety panel
by a three-to-two vote.
250
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,999
And that third vote didn't come cheap.
251
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,668
(laughs)
252
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,088
And I've got tickets
for the grand opening Saturday night.
253
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,507
-Whoa!
-(gasps) Cool.
254
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:18,594
Uh, kids, don't forget about
our special plans Saturday night.
255
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,429
Oh, sorry, Dad.
256
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,682
Our blog is so popular,
we got an invitation
257
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,351
to the most exclusive restaurant in town.
258
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,269
Kent Brockman himself
259
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,690
could only get a reservation
at 5:30 or 9:30.
260
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,234
(giggles)
It's called El Chemistri,
261
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,695
and they use science
to make the food.
262
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,783
Behold... pine needle sorbet.
263
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,619
(moaning)
264
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,122
Pine needle... sorbet?
265
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,541
Pine needle sorbet?
266
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:52,169
My kids do not eat sorbet--
they eat sherbet.
267
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,713
And they pronounce it "sherbert,"
268
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,548
and they wish it was ice cream.
269
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,134
Sorry, Dad,
this is our thing now.
270
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,010
Fine, blow off Fun Dad
271
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:03,639
and go eat your walrus mustaches
and deep-fried pixie wangs.
272
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,227
Don't be so jealous, Homie,
273
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,731
just because the kids are finally
having fun doing something with me.
274
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,316
Aah! Jealous? Me?
275
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,693
(chortles)
276
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,987
That is to laugh.
277
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,697
The very idea.
278
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,701
If anything... (laughs)
279
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:26,328
-you're the one who's jealous.
-Of what?
280
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,331
Of how much fun
I am to be around!
281
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,709
(sobs)
282
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,836
It's always a party
283
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,130
with Fun Dad!
284
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,174
(sobbing)
285
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,888
Too sad to walk.
286
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:47,933
Too sad and fun to walk.
287
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,734
-What are you doing?
-When I'm sad,
288
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,944
I make baseball bats.
289
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,615
Homie,
I don't want you to feel excluded.
290
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:05,785
Would you like to come with us
to dinner at El Chemistri?
291
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,497
Really?
You'd let me in on your thing?
292
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,082
Even though I think it's stupid?
293
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,626
Of course.
294
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,878
-Hand me that saw, Marge.
-Why?
295
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,422
When I'm happy,
I make birdhouses.
296
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,509
Kids, guess what.
Mom invited me to your fancy dinner.
297
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,927
-Cool.
-Awesome!
298
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,554
I guess Fun Dad is a foodie now.
299
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,224
BOTH:
Food Dad! Food Dad! Food Dad!
300
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,809
(groans)
301
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,145
(groaning)
302
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,482
I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain.
303
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,984
There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,
304
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,611
as long as I'm paid in emeralds
305
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:43,531
and my hotel room has a bidet
that shoots warm champagne.
306
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,491
I'm here at a Singapore
street-food market
307
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,410
with famous blogging family,
the Three Mouthketeers.
308
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,956
Marge, you've got to try
some of this hang hir kuay chap.
309
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,917
Ooh, triple spicy barbecued stingray
310
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,086
stuffed with pig organs.
311
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,213
Fun Dad is a foodie now!
312
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:01,131
(munching loudly)
313
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,299
(swallows)
314
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,302
This is my thing
and always will be.
315
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,930
(munching loudly)
316
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:11,350
Food Dad! Food Dad! Food Dad!
317
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,398
Everything's more fun with Homer.
318
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,859
(speaking faux Swedish)
319
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,536
But this was all I had.
320
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,289
BRITISH MAN:
Stop your bloody whinging, Marge.
321
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,124
Aah! Gordon Ramsay!
322
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,334
You (bleep) it up,
big blue, didn't you?
323
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,379
Why did you invite Homer?
He stole your bloody thunder.
324
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:43,632
You're not as (bleep) fun as him,
and you never will be.
325
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,384
(crying)
326
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,137
Darling, darling, crying's not fun.
Homer's fun.
327
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:51,056
-Now, get out of my dream.
-It's my dream.
328
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,559
Not anymore it's not.
Ramsay, awake.
329
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,228
What in the hell was that?
330
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,106
(gasps, sighs)
331
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:02,484
Fun me. Fun me. Fun me.
332
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,237
Kids, I was thinking,
was it really such a great idea
333
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,072
to invite your father to that dinner?
334
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,950
Relax.
Dad will be the life of the party.
335
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,744
He'll be the fourth Mouthketeer.
336
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,330
But there weren't four Musketeers.
337
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:18,167
Yeah-huh. Athos, Porthos,
Aramis, and d'Artagnan.
338
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,836
D'Artagnan wasn't a Musketeer.
339
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,673
He only had a letter of introduction
to the captain of the guards--
340
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,592
which he lost!
341
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:30,012
You know, I'm pretty excited
about this far-out dinner.
342
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,264
-Maybe I'll like it.
-Oh, I doubt it.
343
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,017
You sit at communal tables
full of hipsters.
344
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,810
Well, actually,
I've come around on hipsters.
345
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,188
Takes a lot of guts
to all wear the same hat.
346
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,565
And the food
will all be weird foams--
347
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:44,193
cooked with chemicals
or served in a test tube.
348
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,861
It's too crazy for you.
349
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,614
So it's weird.
Don't worry, I'll make it fun.
350
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,950
Yeah, you always do.
351
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,035
Well, here's where to meet us.
352
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:56,080
1501 W...
353
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,290
East Oak Street.
354
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,376
East Oak Street. Is that it?
355
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,086
Uh... yes.
356
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,754
Yes, East Oak Street.
357
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:06,507
That's where you should go.
See you there.
358
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,176
Don't you judge me.
359
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,054
Ah, save it for the sitter.
360
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,641
Welcome to El Chemistri.
361
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,935
Pease place these mints
in your mouth,
362
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,729
and when your table is ready,
they will vibrate.
363
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,816
Ooh.
364
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,654
{\an8}(dog howling)
365
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,031
Here it is-- 1501 East Oak.
366
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,826
No name on the door--
very trendy.
367
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,787
What do you want?
368
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,623
Is this the chemical kitchen place
where you do the crazy cooking?
369
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,125
Quiet, man.
370
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,377
The experience begins.
371
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,213
Where's Dad?
372
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,424
Uh... I don't know.
373
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,259
Probably changed his mind
374
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:51,969
and stopped off for doughnuts.
375
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,721
(chuckles)
376
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:58,809
Before you is
a deconstructed Caesar salad--
377
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,395
romaine lettuce gel, egg yolk ice,
378
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,939
crouton foam, and anchovy air.
379
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,399
You eat it like this--
380
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:08,485
gel, ice, foam, air,
foam, ice, gel, foam, air.
381
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,700
Just like Marge said--
chemicals and test tubes.
382
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,535
The open kitchen is a nice touch.
383
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,079
I guess I'll get started
before my family gets here.
384
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,874
How much for a taste?
You know, just to get me going.
385
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,667
-50 bucks.
-Ouch.
386
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,794
This place is fancy.
387
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,963
The next course is Regret.
388
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,012
(delighted moans)
389
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,890
(moaning)
390
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:40,017
(chuckling) Hipsters.
391
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,977
Too cool for school.
392
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,313
You don't look like
the kind of guy who does this.
393
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,690
Well, my wife thinks
it's too crazy for me,
394
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,734
but I'm going to prove her wrong.
395
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,987
(chuckles)
I'm doing this for my family.
396
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,998
All right, Breaking Baddies,
drop the meth.
397
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,335
Pick up the meth!
Pick up the meth!
398
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,505
(gasps)
This better be dinner theater!
399
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,716
And now, pork chops 100 ways.
400
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,927
(diners oohing)
401
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,639
100 pork chops!
402
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,849
I can't believe Dad is missing this.
403
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,144
Sure, your dad's great,
but I'm fun, too.
404
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,854
Look at me eat, huh?
405
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190
(munching loudly)
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
406
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,694
Who am I kidding?
I'm not enjoying this.
407
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,072
Even the foam tastes like nothing.
408
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,865
(sighs)
I'm calling Homer.
409
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,325
(cell phone chimes)
410
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,702
HOMER (on phone):
Marge! This isn't a food restaurant!
411
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,746
-It's a meth restaurant!
-(gunshots)
412
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,290
A meth-taurant! Aah!
413
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,709
(gasps)
Foodies, help me!
414
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,128
My husband's in danger!
415
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,256
-Oh, we can't leave now.
-We haven't had the root vegetables
416
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:54,716
cooked in the perfect vacuum
of outer space.
417
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,344
They say you can't even
understand parsnips
418
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,471
until you had zero-g parsnips.
419
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,390
(groans)
420
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,600
How dare you walk out on me!
421
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,853
Your dessert is in this doggie bag
422
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,231
woven from the silk of
a blueberry-fed spider.
423
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316
Take it and go!
424
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,277
-(sirens whooping)
-(police radio chatter)
425
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,695
Ah, shucks.
426
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,823
We get the family dressed up
to go to our favorite meth lab,
427
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,741
and it's all raided out.
428
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,077
-(children groan)
-Oh, honey,
429
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,164
I always liked
your home-cooked better anyways.
430
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,540
Aw.
431
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,876
Uh, where do you think
you're going?
432
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,045
A wife needs to tell her husband
she was wrong.
433
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,964
And in you go.
434
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,841
(whimpering)
435
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,467
Sorry.
436
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,220
Everything you've done here
has created problems.
437
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,474
(grunts)
438
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,101
(gasps)
I've got to save him.
439
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,979
(gasps)
Ooh. My dessert.
440
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,816
Eat deconstructed apple pie!
441
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,067
(grunts)
442
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,777
(swallows)
443
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,404
(sighs)
444
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,454
{\an8}Merci, Maman,
pour la tarte tatin à la mode.
445
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,543
(sighs)
446
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,798
Oh, Marge,
447
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,760
you saved me
from the danger you put me in.
448
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,638
I am so happy and angry.
449
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,223
I'm sorry.
450
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,433
I guess I just wanted
the kids to look at me
451
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,894
-the way they look at you.
-Aw.
452
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,521
Wow, Mom!
That was awesome.
453
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,273
We ate mad-scientist food
454
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,901
and broke up a meth lab
in the same day.
455
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,737
Fun Mom! Fun Mom! Fun Mom!
456
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,535
Now, that's my kind of foam.
457
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,120
This is nice.
458
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,248
A family fun day.
459
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,624
Here's 50 bucks.
460
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,502
For the next two hours,
I don't want to know you exist.
461
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,003
(laughing)
462
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,130
Family fun day.
463
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,595
{\an8}(lively Ethiopian music playing)
464
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:15,691
{\an8}♪ We're bloggin' a food blog ♪
465
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:20,028
{\an8}♪ Settin' up accounts for our users ♪
466
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,698
{\an8}♪ Usin' computers ♪
467
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,658
{\an8}♪ Post tweets every day ♪
468
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:27,327
{\an8}♪ Yo, yo, tweets every day, y'all ♪
469
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:28,912
{\an8}♪ Never give it four stars ♪
470
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,164
{\an8}♪ Ain't never give it four stars ♪
471
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,375
{\an8}♪ Maybe two, maybe three ♪
472
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:38,255
{\an8}♪ Moderatin' the comments ♪
473
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:42,718
{\an8}♪ Checkin' the page views,
page views, page views ♪
474
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,594
{\an8}♪ Duck fat ♪
475
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,847
{\an8}♪ Truffle oil, yo, yo, yo ♪
476
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,349
{\an8}♪ My food is art, my food is art ♪
477
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,643
{\an8}♪ It comes right from the heart ♪
478
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,770
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
479
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,985
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay