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00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:06,297
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:08,717
(stomping)
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00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,468
(pacifier sucking)
4
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,438
(alarm buzzing)
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(sighs)
Monday.
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00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,026
Here we go again.
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(Hot Chip's "And I Was A Boy
From School" playing)
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♪ And I was a boy from school ♪
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00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:54,929
♪ Helplessly helping
all the rules ♪
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00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:03,897
♪ And there was a boy
at school ♪
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00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:10,487
♪ Hopelessly wrestling
all his fools ♪
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{\an8}Sorry, kid,
but there comes a day when
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{\an8}that just doesn't
do anything anymore.
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{\an8}-ANNOUNCER: Stuck in a rut?
-Hmm...
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER:
Ready for a change?
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{\an8}(excited whooing)
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: We built heaven
and made it float.
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{\an8}Royalty Cruises, one week away
from the everyday.
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{\an8}Visuals and commercial,
if anything, underplay
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00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,234
{\an8}the thrill of actual
cruise experience.
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{\an8}Want, want, want,
want, want,
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00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,570
{\an8}want, want, want, want!
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{\an8}Want!
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{\an8}-(humming)
-BART: Mom, Dad...
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{\an8}do you know there's a boat
out there where nothing sucks?
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{\an8}It's called Royalty Cruises,
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{\an8}and Royalty Cruise specialists
are standing by now!
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{\an8}(grunts) I'm sorry, sweetie.
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00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,378
{\an8}Maybe we could afford
a vacation if some big shot
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{\an8}didn't pick up the tab
for his buddies at Mr. Steak.
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00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,883
{\an8}Again with Mr. Steak!
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{\an8}Do you know
why I go to Mr. Steak?
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{\an8}Because at Mr. Steak,
they don't get mad at me
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{\an8}for spending a lot of money
at Mr. Steak!
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{\an8}Well, of course they don't!
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{\an8}Why don't you talk
to Mrs. Steak?
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{\an8}There is no Mrs. Steak!
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{\an8}Who could stay married
to such a man?
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{\an8}Okay, maybe I can pay
for the cruise.
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00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,613
{\an8}Let's see how much it costs
for a cabin on a low deck.
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{\an8}No porthole...
group Z lifeboat access...
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{\an8}Aw, it's still a ton of money.
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{\an8}Face it, we're just kids.
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{\an8}We can't afford stuff
with zeroes in the prices.
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{\an8}All we have in the world
are the things our parents give us.
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00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,423
{\an8}Hmm...
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{\an8}Bart! There's a really mean
squirrel in the backyard.
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{\an8}I need you to dare me
to fight him!
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{\an8}(gasps) Huh?!
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{\an8}Bart's been raptured!
And his crap's been crap-tured!
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00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,353
{\an8}(grunts)
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00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,316
{\an8}Ah...
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{\an8}Why do you want
a box of Bart's baby teeth?
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{\an8}Doctor says I need more calcium,
and I ain't "Tums Rich."
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{\an8}(loud chewing)
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{\an8}(groans) I sold all my stuff,
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{\an8}and it's still not enough money
for the cruise.
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{\an8}Just try to enjoy
your dinner, sweetie.
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{\an8}I can't, I sold
my "dinner futures."
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{\an8}Nice doing business
with you, boy. (laughs)
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{\an8}Homer!
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{\an8}(groans)
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00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,932
{\an8}It's okay. I don't have
much of an appetite.
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{\an8}I'm going to floor.
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{\an8}(grunts)
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{\an8}BART:
Mom! Dad!
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00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,442
{\an8}I woke up
and the money jar was full!
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00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,361
{\an8}That means the devil
accepted my bargain.
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00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,696
{\an8}Now, to uphold
my end of the deal!
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{\an8}-Snowball II!
-No!
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We saw how much
this cruise means to you,
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00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,995
so we all
sold something special.
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00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,040
And we made just enough
for an economy cabin!
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00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,542
I sold a couple of my
rare jazz records.
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After a while they all
start to sound the same.
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(chuckles)
Still love the genre, of course.
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00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,633
Not even close
to getting sick of it.
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And I sold our good china.
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Really?!
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00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,973
But that's been in your family
for generations.
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00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,432
Yeah...
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actually, my mom stole it
from a woman she cleaned for.
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00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,063
Took her years
to get the whole set.
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00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,982
And Dad donated
something, too.
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00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,150
What happened
to my mini-pool table?!
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00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,987
I was training
to be a mini-pool hustler.
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We sold it
to pay for a family cruise.
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00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,411
I never even got to realize
this jacket was too small.
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00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,997
It's weird to hear
myself saying this, but...
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I love you guys.
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00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:53,001
This is going to be
the best vacation ever!
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00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,961
Yeah, for you kids, maybe.
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00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:59,590
For dads, a family vacation
is a 24-hour-a-day babysitting job.
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"Are you wearing
enough sun block?"
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00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,344
"Is that splashing or drowning?"
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00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,598
"Why does every sand castle
require my participation?"
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00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,601
Then a kid disappears,
and it's total panic
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00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,687
until you find him
at the swim-up bar...
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00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,064
...eating a 30-dollar cheeseburger,
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00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,525
which he drops in the water!
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00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,737
And here's the worst part:
I never get anytime alone
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with my wife because we're all
sleeping in the same room!
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Look, that's our ship!
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(Concert For Harp & Strings in
C - III by Francois Boieldieu)
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Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
but your cruise is overbooked.
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-What?
-I can offer you a cabin
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on our sugar-free fitness cruise.
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ANNOUNCER: Welcome
to eight days and seven nights
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of pushups and kale!
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-(groaning)
-(groans)
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00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,151
Well, well,
Mr. Never-Wrong was right again:
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family vacations always suck.
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I called it!
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Called... it.
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Homer,
this is bad for you, too.
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♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪
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♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪
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(groans)
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Wait a minute, I can get you
back on your original ship,
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but in a different cabin.
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-Upgrade!
-(all cheer)
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I'm sorry,
there's been a mistake.
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-This isn't your cabin.
-(Bart groans)
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-Double upgrade! All right!
-(all cheer)
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(groans) I knew it.
It was all a dream.
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No, honey.
You just passed out
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when you saw the private bedroom
in our triple upgrade!
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I actually did it--
a perfect vacation.
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You'll never guess
how many bath towels they gave us...
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00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,666
enough!
(squeals) Whoo...
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00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,918
And there's a DVD
library of movies
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that haven't been released yet.
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Whoa...
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00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,214
Whoa.
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00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,799
(chimes)
Greetings, cruisers!
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I'm your cruise director,
Rowan Priddis,
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00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,721
and welcome aboard
the Royalty Valhalla,
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00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,058
where the only rule
is "Always Have Fun!"
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{\an8}Your every need will be catered to
from our toddler's club
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00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:21,816
{\an8}to "Condolences,"
our award-winning luxury morgue.
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{\an8}Your enjoyment pays my salary,
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{\an8}so in a sense,
each of you is my boss...
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{\an8}and as my boss...
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{\an8}I'd like to ask you
for a week of vacation.
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{\an8}A week I will spend here
on this cruise,
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{\an8}performing my normal duties
as cruise director.
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{\an8}That's how much I love my job.
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Bon voyage!
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Whoa, a "fun schedule"!
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There's so much to do.
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Laser-tag, waterslide bobsled...
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00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:52,138
(gasps) Oh! Ice cream snowball fight
starts in five minutes!
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(Bart and Lisa laugh)
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00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:59,604
Homie, we actually have the cabin
all to ourselves.
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00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,440
(moans)
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00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,942
Sex on a family vacation?
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00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,195
I never thought
such a thing was possible!
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00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,280
-(both moaning)
-Oh, ho...
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00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:12,408
(chuckles) And the ocean
will do all of the work.
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00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,076
(both moaning)
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HOMER:
Ocean sex rules!
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00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,748
-Go to hell, land sex!
-(Marge moans)
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00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,418
(sighs)
KidZone.
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00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,462
Let me guess:
a broken foosball table
165
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,797
and a game of Clue
missing its candlestick.
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00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,801
Lisa Simpson? Our KidZone
pre-screeners have placed you
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00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,929
with our most
sophisticated children--
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00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,764
"KidZone: Elite".
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00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,063
Help me study the effects
of rising ocean acidity.
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00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,316
No, help me tag
and release seabirds.
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00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:46,526
It's so diverse.
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00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,820
I've died and gone
to a PBS Kids show!
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00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,573
(blissful chuckle)
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00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,908
Two?!
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00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,285
(rapturous giggle)
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All right, fun schedule,
you're about to get did!
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00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,668
(shouting excitedly)
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00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,674
(Ruslan And Ludmilla Overture
by Michael Glinka playing)
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00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,201
(song ends)
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00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,333
(giggles) Two diplomats' sons
are in love with me.
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00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,752
Who will I choose:
Ghana or Portugal?
182
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,255
Boy, thanks to you,
we're having fun--
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00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,382
"before you were born" fun.
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00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,967
Where did the ship
stop again?
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00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,262
I don't know, a lot of barefoot kids
kicking soccer balls,
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00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,849
shell necklaces; they really
hid the poverty nicely.
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00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:04,186
Any place is fun
if you're there with "Super Lips."
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00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,397
(both chuckle and moan)
189
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,065
(chuckles) Your names...
190
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,985
I'm just glad everyone is having
the best week of their lives.
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00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,237
-(drumroll, rim shot)
-(microphone feedback squeal)
192
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,198
Whenever we reach the halfway
point of our voyage,
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00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,951
I like to take a moment
to reflect.
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00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,828
Hit it,
Gary Ocean and the Motion!
195
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:24,749
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
196
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:28,753
♪ Ice-sculptures, conga lines,
and working on your tan ♪
197
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:32,548
♪ Enjoy it while you're here ♪
198
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:37,178
♪ One week of glitz and glam
instead of pain and fear ♪
199
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,307
♪ In just a few days' time,
this boat pulls into dock ♪
200
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:46,020
♪ And when it does, you lovely
people may be in for a shock ♪
201
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,064
♪ Here you've made
exciting friends ♪
202
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,024
♪ Back home,
you'll all lose touch ♪
203
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,901
♪ Here, Hawaiian shirts
are cool ♪
204
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,736
♪ Back home, well, not so much ♪
205
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,074
♪ Back home, you'll be too tired
for making magic in the sack ♪
206
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,992
♪ So, eat buffet,
and play and pray ♪
207
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:03,537
♪ There's some delay
on our way back ♪
208
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,625
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
209
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,044
♪ Here at sea, we drink and frolic ♪
210
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,046
♪ Back home,
that's called alcoholic ♪
211
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,800
♪ Your future's up but parabolic ♪
212
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:22,556
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
213
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,724
-(cheering)
-Bravo!
214
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,267
-Yeah, all right!
-Oh, yeah!
215
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,395
(gasps)
216
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,897
(panting)
217
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,273
The song's right.
218
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,567
No matter how much fun
I cram into this cruise,
219
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,152
it only lasts a week.
220
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,571
Then it's back to Mom and Dad
fighting, Lisa moping,
221
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,990
homework, bullies,
and a lunch bag sandwich
222
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,493
soggy with the sweat
of a juice box!
223
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:48,124
After this cruise, for the rest
of my life, it's all downhill.
224
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,292
(monitor beeping steadily)
225
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,003
(sighs)
226
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,506
Only good week of my life.
227
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:03,973
(monitor flatlines)
228
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,059
Haw-haw!
229
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,936
(monitor flatlines)
230
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:12,606
Why can't vacation last forever?
231
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,401
I've got to do something.
232
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,527
(gunshot)
233
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,528
Sorry.
234
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,323
(people chattering)
235
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,078
There's something I see
236
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,873
that's even more beautiful
than Ganymede, Lisa.
237
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,624
I... Oh.
238
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,251
That's right, Io.
239
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:36,797
But no moon of Jupiter
is as beautiful as you.
240
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,007
Oh.
241
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,762
(both laugh)
242
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:43,929
BOTH:
Purple!
243
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,432
(laughing)
244
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:49,435
(moaning)
245
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:52,897
(alarm wailing)
246
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,273
(static crackles)
247
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,901
This is General William Sullivan
with an emergency message.
248
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,987
I'm speaking to you
from a CDC clean zone.
249
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,741
Outbreak of the deadly
Pandora virus is spreading rapidly.
250
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:07,203
Unprecedented threat requires
a worldwide quarantine.
251
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:10,831
All ships must remain at sea
until further...
252
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,374
Humanity must endure.
253
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,001
-(clamoring)
-MAN: A virus?!
254
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:17,046
-WOMAN: We're stuck on the ship?!
-MAN: What should we do?!
255
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:20,508
(clamoring continues)
256
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,761
They're buying it.
They're buying it.
257
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,055
"Chillingly plausible" indeed,
258
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,349
Joe Morgenstern
of The Wall Street Journal.
259
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,101
Now to make sure no one
can call home to check
260
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,104
with a little help from
the make-your-own-sundae bar.
261
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,359
Squirt, squirt.
262
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,110
Mmm.
263
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,112
(static crackles)
264
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,864
(chuckles)
265
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:44,865
Mmm.
266
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,116
(laughs)
267
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,285
(clamoring)
268
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,081
Our attempts
to contact the mainland
269
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,958
have met with nothing
but static.
270
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,877
It appears we have no choice--
to avoid the virus,
271
00:13:56,961 --> 00:14:00,548
we must remain at sea
indefinitely.
272
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,383
-(clamoring, screaming)
-Oh, no!
273
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,176
-We're stuck here!
-BART: Whoo-hoo!
274
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,429
Vacation forever!
275
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,481
ROWAN (over P.A.):
Good morning, everyone!
276
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,193
As we greet a sunny
Day 12, After Virus.
277
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,404
While the world
deals with their pandemic,
278
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:26,740
we're having a "fun-demic,"
under the capable hands
279
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,368
of our Norwegian
Captain Svalbard.
280
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:33,122
I always knew mankind's
hubris would doom us all.
281
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,875
Ja, he spoke of it often.
282
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,501
Once we reach our exciting
283
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,503
and hopefully
virus-free destination,
284
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,464
romantic Antarctica,
our activities will include
285
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,508
building shelter,
hunting for food
286
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,261
and starting civilization anew.
287
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,221
While supplies may be
running a little low,
288
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,849
not to worry,
as today's delicious buffet
289
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:56,061
features fresh seagull
and hull-scraped barnacles.
290
00:14:56,145 --> 00:15:00,524
In the Chuckles Comedy Club,
we have Joey Scazzazone,
291
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,068
with his
no-longer-observational take
292
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820
on our pre-virus lives.
293
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,071
Hey, so what's the deal with
294
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:09,074
how many Starbucks
there used to be, huh?
295
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,410
I don't know why
that bothered me so much.
296
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,162
Hug your kids.
297
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,080
(feedback squeals)
298
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,540
ROWAN:
Need a break?
299
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,543
Then don't check out
the Sensations Luxury Spa,
300
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,047
which is now the stronghold
of charismatic cult leader
301
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,256
Dave the Lifeguard.
302
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,760
Mankind was warned
not to run near the pool!
303
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,261
Mankind did not listen!
304
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,263
The virus is his reward!
305
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,849
CROWD:
Ohm... ohm...
306
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,937
So, remember, rule number one
is "always have fun,"
307
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,732
because fun is the only thing
that will keep us alive.
308
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,609
Fun!
309
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,528
Worthless, worthless,
worthless.
310
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,239
Hey, guys, can you believe
how awesome this is?
311
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,158
If it wasn't
for this virus thing,
312
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,743
we'd all be back
at our old sucky lives.
313
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,705
And, instead, you're here, where you
can be lovey-dovey all the time.
314
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,415
Come on, kiss.
315
00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,750
Kiss!
316
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,504
Bart, we're too worried
to enjoy each other's mouths.
317
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,006
Yeah, and the customer
service on this cruise
318
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,424
has really gone downhill.
319
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,593
Drop dead, fat-ass!
320
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,889
Last week, that steward
brought me extra shampoo.
321
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,183
He called me "lovely lady."
322
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,228
Hey, Lis, at least you nerds
are still geekin' it up.
323
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,981
What could be sweeter than
a vacation that never ends?
324
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,732
Sweet? Sweet?!
325
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,900
The passengers on this ship
326
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,568
could be the last people
on earth.
327
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,237
Like monks during
the Dark Ages,
328
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,905
it's up to the KidZone: Elite
329
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,157
to make a record
of human culture.
330
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,784
This group is adapting
children's classics
331
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:37,579
for the stage to entertain
generations of survivors.
332
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,249
Erik, we must work
with the humans.
333
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,418
You are so naive, Charles.
334
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,837
We should rule them
as conquerors.
335
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,799
Can't anybody enjoy
their forever vacation?
336
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,009
(grunts angrily)
337
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,593
Check it out!
The gallery was gonna
338
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,928
throw these paintings overboard,
339
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,431
like they were
worthless garbage.
340
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,558
Bart, glad you're here.
341
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,768
We're all gonna watch
a movie together.
342
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,145
Yeah, a movie!
343
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,440
It is about time you guys
started having some fun.
344
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,985
Humanity must endure.
345
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,862
General, it's worse
than we thought.
346
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,071
The virus is getting bigger.
347
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,197
(roaring)
348
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,949
(screaming)
349
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:14,950
(gasps)
350
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,535
Bart, how could you?
351
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,037
Uh, got to go!
352
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:22,082
Man, I kicked butt
in the gladiator arena today.
353
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,793
I won the last package
of hot dogs on the ship.
354
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,629
I got robbed by marauders
on the way home.
355
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,465
There is no virus!
356
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,967
Bart faked the whole thing
with a DVD.
357
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,137
A direct-to-video DVD.
358
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,766
You stand accused
of letting down your team
359
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,225
during music trivia.
360
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:44,938
Your fun-ishment: eight hours
in the penal conga line.
361
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:45,898
(gasps)
362
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:49,151
(groaning rhythmically)
363
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,071
Excuse me,
Cruise Director Priddis.
364
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,156
My son has something
to tell you.
365
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,242
Speak, passenger,
son of passenger.
366
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,411
It was all a hoax;
there's no virus.
367
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:00,537
(crowd gasps)
368
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,498
But the warning from the general!
369
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,167
That was just Treat Williams
in a virus movie.
370
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,003
You know, I thought
that general looked familiar.
371
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,672
What?
I'm in a lot of movies.
372
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:14,259
(Simpsons gasping,
crowd grumbling)
373
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,054
I take back everything
I said to you
374
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,431
that night in the dolphin lab.
375
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:20,432
(gasps)
376
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,018
All that happened is we got
a little extra vacation.
377
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,228
Is that so bad?
378
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,313
MAN:
I think I ate people meat!
379
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,356
(groans)
380
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,233
I know my son
did a terrible thing.
381
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,401
But there's a chapel
on this ship,
382
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,445
and in that chapel
there's a book,
383
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,532
and it says,
"Judge not, lest ye..."
384
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,450
(groans)
385
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,993
After this,
I'll be lucky to get work
386
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:43,038
on a clothing-optional
Jimmy Buffett cruise!
387
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,624
What about the duty-free
stuff we bought?
388
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,960
"Never have fun!"
389
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,045
My booze and cologne!
390
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,340
(grunting worriedly)
391
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,637
(humming)
392
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,688
That's fair.
393
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:10,566
Sorry.
I deserve it.
394
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,776
Ow! That one really hurt.
395
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,613
Sorry, sweetie, I just needed
to get that out of my system.
396
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:20,284
This stupid prank is the most
selfish thing you've ever done!
397
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,369
I wasn't being selfish.
398
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,705
I did it for you guys, too.
399
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,291
Lisa, you made friends
with kids just like you.
400
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,961
Mom and Dad, you were more happy
and in love than I ever saw you.
401
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,380
It was the best week
of all of our lives,
402
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,966
-and I wanted it to last forever.
-(Lisa and Marge aahing)
403
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,218
Choke on my numb
blue hands!
404
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,053
(grunting angrily)
405
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,930
Oh... what the...
406
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,932
(groaning)
407
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,642
LISA:
Hey, up here!
408
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,977
You got to see this!
409
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,771
ALL:
Ooh!
410
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,691
LISA:
From egg to baby to grown-up,
411
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,067
we can see them living
412
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,028
their entire penguin lives
from up here.
413
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:57,571
(crackling)
414
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:58,864
(chirping)
415
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,490
BART:
What a load of crap.
416
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:03,702
They spend all their time
trying to raise a baby, and why?
417
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,830
So it can grow up
and do the same dumb thing,
418
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,373
on and on forever.
419
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,250
The penguin's life isn't all bad.
420
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,960
Those ones are having a blast.
421
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,216
But the slide's
just like our cruise:
422
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,967
a short awesome thing
that just shows you
423
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,094
how boring the rest
of your life is.
424
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,764
Well, sure,
life is full of pain and drudgery,
425
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,934
but the trick is to enjoy
the few perfect experiences
426
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,685
we're given in the moment.
427
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,229
Yeah, stupid.
428
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,565
Stop thinking about fun
and have it!
429
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,068
("Winter's Love"
by Animal Collective playing)
430
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,986
Whoa... whoa...!
431
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,321
(laughing)
432
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,906
Hey, wait for me!
433
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,743
(all laughing)
434
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,094
What a great ride.
435
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,770
Shh!
436
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,985
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay