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-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(bells jingling)
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Ho, ho, ho!
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Welcome to the
Montgomery Burns Prize rewarding
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{\an8}"excellence" in the field
of alternative energy.
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{\an8}Local inventors are vying
for a million-dollar stipend
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{\an8}donated by C. Montgomery Burns
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{\an8}as part of a court settlement
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{\an8}for causing one billion dollars
of environmental damage.
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{\an8}Shoo. Go have one
of your enormous litters.
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{\an8}(growls, screeches)
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{\an8}First inventor, you, bus driver,
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{\an8}give us the gist of your terrible idea.
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{\an8}Well, I've harnessed the
ancient power of slavery
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{\an8}to run the school bus of tomorrow.
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(kids groaning)
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{\an8}(groans, sighs)
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{\an8}Whose boy is this?
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{\an8}I'll take him home.
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{\an8}You'll take his place.
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{\an8}Ah!
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{\an8}I would like to present
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{\an8}my Kwik-E-Smart
perpetual energy machine.
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{\an8}Three years ago, I tripped over the cord,
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{\an8}but the hotdogs, they kept rolling.
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{\an8}Some say they're powered
by decaying nitrates,
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{\an8}others by tiny insects
beneath the hot dog skins.
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{\an8}(wry laugh)
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{\an8}Hard to believe I once turned down
a job in Tampa, Florida,
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{\an8}because I believed in this city.
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{\an8}That was 15 years ago.
They wouldn't take you now.
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{\an8}Is anyone here an actual scientist?
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{\an8}Uh, yes, I have, on occasion,
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{\an8}dabbled in the scientific arts.
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{\an8}Frink Labs, a division of Allied Frink,
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{\an8}the Good-Glavin people,
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{\an8}are proud to present the Frinkasonic MHV.
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{\an8}And what, pray tell, is MHV?
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{\an8}Oh, yes, it's the Moyvin-Hoyvin Vehicle.
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{\an8}This non-magnetic babe magnet
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{\an8}is powered entirely by, you guessed it,
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{\an8}(quietly) sound waves.
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{\an8}-(crowd murmuring)
-(engine starts)
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{\an8}Ah, yes, you see?
Your quite appropriate oohs and ahs
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{\an8}are propelling me forward. It's wonderful.
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{\an8}(gasping, murmuring excitedly)
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{\an8}That's slightly more enthusiasm
than I had anticipated.
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{\an8}For the love of God, step on the brakes!
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{\an8}The brakes are powered by silence.
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{\an8}(people yelling)
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{\an8}(Willie yelling)
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{\an8}Look out because of the zooming.
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Why is it ejecting?
It's just a normal seat...!
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{\an8}(gasping, shouting)
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{\an8}ALL: No!
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{\an8}I'm okay.
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{\an8}I'll just go live with my son.
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{\an8}ALL: No!
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{\an8}Hurry up.
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{\an8}I want to get Grampa back here by 3:00,
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{\an8}so we can get him and Maggie
on the same nap schedule.
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{\an8}I've labeled all his boxes.
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}Well, I can't pick up something this heavy
without my lifting belt.
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{\an8}(sudden shout) Ow!
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{\an8}You know you can't lift your lifting belt
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{\an8}without wearing your belt-lifting-belt.
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{\an8}Oh, no. I won't be able
to help you pack up Grampa.
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{\an8}Fine.
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{\an8}Just stay here and hold down the fort.
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{\an8}Hold down the fort?
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{\an8}With my bad back?
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{\an8}(groans)
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(chuckles)
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Man, that keyboard-playing cat is so cute.
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(playing jazzy tune)
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"Villageville"?!
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"Build your own authentic
medieval village."
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I must have something better to do.
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And ca-lick.
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(fanfare plays)
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Finally, a woodcutter that will do
what I tell him.
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(humming happily)
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Holy moley!
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He's already made a clearing.
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Let's go for a glade.
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(chopping and bell dinging repeatedly)
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(chuckles)
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Just call me DeForest Kelley.
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I gotta write that down
and send it to Conan.
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Oh, move this here-- tap.
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Mill, mill. Barn, silo.
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Tavern, tavern, tavern, tavern,
tavern, tavern...
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Brothel.
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Parsonage.
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A Theater in the Round.
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And...
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hay pile.
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(panting)
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"And the Lord saw
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what He had made,
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and it was good."
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(groans)
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VILLAGERS (over speaker): Ew.
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Yeah, that's right,
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your Lord sticks his hand in his pants.
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And yes, it is the same hand
I tapped you with.
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(bell dings)
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Well, if I've learned anything,
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it's that you can't have
too much iron ore.
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Maybe one of your tavern wenches
can do the laundry.
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(shrieks) You're back.
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Did you spend this whole time
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doing fake chores in a fake village?
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-It's real to them.
-(groans)
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Um, where's Santa's Little Helper?
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I don't know. The backyard?
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The backyard? But what if he got out
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through your half-completed
tunnel to Flanders's fridge?
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I don't see him anywhere.
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You jackass. You lost our dog!
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Oh, my God.
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I forgot to feed my jackass.
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(bellowing) Hank-hew.
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(bellowing) You're welcome.
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Santa's Little Helper!
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Santa's Little Helper!
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I love that dog,
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but that is one long, stupid name.
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(both groaning)
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{\an8}(meows)
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-What the hell?
-Oh, right.
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The animal shelter hasn't had
any greyhounds turned in.
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Just a dachshund, a chow,
and a pregnant raccoon.
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A lot of good backups.
How pregnant is the raccoon?
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We don't want a raccoon.
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Good, Marge.
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Get their price down.
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Dad, I just noticed something.
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You're not upset enough about this.
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Hey, Lisa's right.
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You're the only one who
hasn't cried about the dog.
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-Not a crier.
-What? You cry all the time.
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You cried when they canceled
that show you hated.
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Goofing on it made me feel wise.
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(whimpering)
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-Where is that coming from?
-From the kitchen.
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-He's alive!
-And he didn't pee on the floor.
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For me, that's a perfect day.
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(everyone talking at once)
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Dad, why'd you shut our dog in a cabinet?
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I'll answer that.
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Your father's an "Idjit."
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I believe the word is "idiote."
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How did Santa's Little Helper
get in there?
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(gasps) I know what must have happened.
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I'm going to get a snack,
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but first, should I introduce
the black plague?
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Mm... what could be the harm?
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(man screaming over speaker)
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Whoa, now I've got to buy a corpse wagon.
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Well, that's how they get you.
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Hmm... Ooh!
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{\an8}It's amazing how many things
they can make taste like cheese.
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Oh, yeah, baby, I'm drinking you
down to your knees.
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(sniffing)
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♪ Gonna drink ammonia ♪
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♪ 'Cause it tastes like cheese ♪
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♪ I wonder what will happen... ♪
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A minstrel has composed
a roundelay mocking me?
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-Torture, torture, torture.
-(people screaming)
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Well, it's time we showed
this dog some love.
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(all speak soothingly)
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Attaboy.
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Hey Homer, how come
you're not hugging the dog?
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He knows I love him, and he loves me.
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(growling)
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That's short for "Rrright you are."
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I don't think you even like
Santa's Little Helper.
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You never take him for walks
or sleep with him in your arms.
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And I suspect you've been
chewing on his treats.
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How are they his treats
if I paid for them?
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Okay, okay.
I'll be nicer to the dude.
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I've just never really
been a dog person.
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Really?
What about Bongo?
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Bongo?!
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I told you never to ever talk about Bongo.
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(sobbing)
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Ever!
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What just happened? Who's Bongo?
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Bongo was Homer's dog when he was a boy.
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HOMER: He's still my dog!
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We got him years ago.
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HOMER: I don't know what you
just said, but it's wrong!
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Wrong, wrong, wrong.
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(sighs) I was working long hours
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at the Springfield Smokestack Factory.
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Oh, I was so tired when I got home.
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Then little Homer
would start crying and crying,
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but Bongo knew just what to do.
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-(howling)
-(crying stops)
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(snoring)
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Now, my dear, we can
watch Mannix as a couple.
203
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,845
Unfortunately, like all true stories,
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00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,515
this one has a crappy ending.
205
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You have a story with an ending?
206
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Uh-huh. All my stories have endings now.
207
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They're putting something
in my Jell-O down at the home.
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Anyway, Homer and that dog
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went together like Christmas
and suicidal thoughts.
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♪ Me and my Arrow ♪
211
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♪ Straighter than narrow ♪
212
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♪ Wherever we go ♪
213
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♪ Everyone knows ♪
214
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♪ It's me and my Arrow ♪
215
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(tires screech)
216
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♪ Me and my Arrow ♪
217
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♪ Taking the high road... ♪
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(alarm sounding)
219
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♪ Wherever we go ♪
220
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♪ Everyone knows ♪
221
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♪ It's me and my Arrow... ♪
222
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Aww.
223
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,366
(stammers, gasps)
I had no clue.
224
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,703
Then came the fateful day
225
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,663
when Mr. Burns was lobbying
226
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,791
for the go-ahead on his nuclear plant,
227
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and he was giving away
228
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,631
stuffed Isotoads to all the children.
229
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,384
Have a toy. Don't thwart my ambition.
230
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Look, they even talk.
231
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ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Cancer clusters are random occurrences.
232
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,140
Creepy.
233
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You can have mine, Bongo.
234
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,644
Those toys are people bribes,
you good-hearted little brat.
235
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-(growling)
-Ugh! He bit me!
236
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,482
-(growling)
-Get him out of here, son.
237
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Now.
238
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,988
Mr. Burns, I'm awfully sorry.
239
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Oh, I'll be all right.
240
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,075
Once I hold your dying pet in my arms
241
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and feel his wagging tail go stiff.
242
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Uh, sir, you are aware you're
at a PR event for children.
243
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,082
(chuckles)
244
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,751
Bring in the clown.
245
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:27,918
Hey-hey!
246
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,837
(laughs)
247
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,506
So, Lady Godiva gets a haircut,
248
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,342
right, and... kids?!
249
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,094
Uh, no problem.
I'll just cut to my clean material.
250
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,138
(muttering)
251
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,931
Farmer's daughter, no.
252
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,184
A man from Nantucket, no.
253
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,727
Bring out the monkey!
254
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,606
(laughing)
255
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,984
Next time I'm getting a smaller monkey.
256
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,570
Ow! Gow! Ooh!
257
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,238
Oh! Gah! All right!
258
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,495
So Mr. Burns wanted to kill Homer's dog.
259
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:03,913
Homer had no idea.
260
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,332
He was so innocent and chubby.
261
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,501
Course now, he's just stupid and fat.
262
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,419
-Focus.
-Huh? Oh, right.
263
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,004
Little Homer didn't know it,
264
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,882
but Burns had unleashed
the local dogcatcher
265
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,967
to bring Bongo in.
266
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,928
(sirens wailing)
267
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,471
♪ Little Homer had a dog ♪
268
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,598
♪ And Bongo was his name-o ♪
269
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,600
♪ B-O-On-On-Go ♪
270
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,976
♪ B-O-On-On-Go... ♪
271
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,978
-(tires screech)
-Get in quick.
272
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,939
GRAMPA:
This was before the day of safety seats
273
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,817
and coming to a complete stop
to let your child get in.
274
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:41,575
{\an8}When God closes a door,
he opens a gun shop.
275
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,952
Wait.
276
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,620
How could you know
what Herman said?
277
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,414
You were driving away.
278
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,165
-He wrote a memoir.
-Oh.
279
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,377
Uh-oh.
280
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,837
Huh.
281
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,171
Oh.
282
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,756
Anyway...
283
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,924
(siren blaring)
284
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,801
Son, I've got an idea.
285
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,761
A hole next to the seat to hold my cup?
286
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,263
That's a stupid idea.
287
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,181
Holding cups are what thighs are for.
288
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,599
Now hang on tight.
289
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,562
(sniffing, panting, barking)
290
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,981
(inhales) Mmm!
291
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,482
Smell them sausages, Lou.
292
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,484
Are you sure the Big Brother Program
293
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,278
couldn't find me anybody else?
294
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,613
Yeah, well, you were
my last pick, too, okay?
295
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:22,783
Tipping, aah!
296
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,285
(barking)
297
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,246
Oh, I'm a washout as a dogcatcher.
298
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,539
What do I do now?
299
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:30,791
Well, my dream is to be police chief.
300
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,627
Oh, no, you can't 'cause, um, that's
my dream. I'm gonna be chief of police.
301
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,671
Well, then I'll be a spokesman
for my people,
302
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,548
like Ralph Abernathy.
303
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,967
Ralph, I like that name.
304
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,055
Man, this story
is filling in a lot of gaps.
305
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,684
But I want to know about Dad
and his broken heart.
306
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,853
Your father lost a lot in his life--
307
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,521
his hair, his mother,
308
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,524
more games of Monopoly
than any man ought.
309
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:59,987
He'd go to jail and stay there
'cause he loves the easy life,
310
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,697
but I think losing that dog
311
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,492
was the toughest blow of all.
312
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,660
HOMER:
Where are we going, Daddy?
313
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,704
Remember our old neighbor, Miss Viola?
314
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,831
Well, she moved to the country,
where there was no limit
315
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,584
on how many pets
one single lady could own.
316
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,044
Miss Viola?
317
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,754
Isn't she cuckoo?
318
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:20,049
Now, son, a lot of people are cuckoo
319
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,009
till you need something from them.
320
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,471
I knew that Bongo
would have a good home there
321
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,515
and Burns would never find him.
322
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,099
Gosh, Miss Viola,
323
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,851
I want you and your husband to know
324
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,770
how much I appreciate this.
325
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:34,939
(both groan)
326
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,941
Well, let's get this dog in.
327
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,859
-(whimpers)
-Come on.
328
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,947
Son, uh, why don't you
give him your sweatshirt
329
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,490
so he'll remember you.
330
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,700
Okay.
331
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,245
How long till we come back and get him?
332
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,580
I had to tell my boy
333
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,416
we were giving away his dog for good.
334
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,752
I wasn't sure if a six-year-old
335
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,838
could even understand the concept.
336
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,339
What? No.
337
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,966
No! No!
338
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,509
Bongo!
339
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,135
(wailing)
340
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,680
Turns out, he caught on pretty quick.
341
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,520
Your father was devastated.
342
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:17,940
-(crying)
-(scoffs) Women and their crying.
343
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,317
(sobbing)
Finish the damn story.
344
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,945
I've got a hockey game tonight.
345
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,949
When I finally got back to the house...
346
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,368
Simpson, release your hound.
347
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:32,454
He's already gone
where you'll never get him.
348
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,623
I'm a powerful man, Simpson.
349
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,792
I can walk into McDonalds, order soup,
350
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,960
and they'll make it.
351
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,336
Go on. Get.
352
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,298
I got a bug zapper,
and I ain't afraid to use it.
353
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,508
Is that sugar water I smell?
354
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,968
-(electrical zapping)
-(groans)
355
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,971
Well, I'm afraid I already told my dogs
356
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,639
they could tear yours apart.
357
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,142
Don't make me look into those
pitiless black eyes and say,
358
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:56,562
"Daddy didn't bring you
a friend-friend to rip-rip!"
359
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,855
Where's Bongo?
360
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,356
Is he still at the crazy lady's...
361
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,774
Back to sleep, son.
362
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:01,901
(chuckles)
363
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,779
(groans, snores)
364
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,448
Oh, listen,
365
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,491
I can think of something you'd enjoy
366
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,285
more than killing a dog.
367
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,786
Dropping a horse on a church?
368
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,664
No! Breaking a man's spirit.
369
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,041
Mine.
370
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,959
Well, I guess I could always
371
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,920
drop a horse on a church afterward.
372
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,087
Fine.
373
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:25,341
I had to take care
of his hounds for a year.
374
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,844
I tried to wear a bite-proof suit,
375
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,723
but those satanic Snoopys
always found their way in.
376
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:33,933
(growling)
377
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,018
(groaning)
378
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,897
I'm not done with you.
379
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:44,068
I insist you never wear shoes
or a proper necktie again.
380
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,444
Just house slippers
381
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,072
and the most humiliating tie there is:
382
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,740
bolo.
383
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,825
(gasps)
384
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,827
But the hardest part
385
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:56,830
was that my son was so angry with me.
386
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,624
How was school today?
387
00:15:58,707 --> 00:15:59,875
Ketchup, please.
388
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,878
You're probably wondering
how I got rabies.
389
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,171
-Well...
-I'm not hungry anymore.
390
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,632
Our relationship never recovered,
391
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:10,177
and no amount of ignoring
the problem could ever fix it.
392
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,637
(sobbing)
393
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,848
Grampa, why is the
saddest story you ever told
394
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,059
the only one
that's ever made sense?
395
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,269
(scoffs)
Doesn't make sense to me.
396
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:23,107
I happen to remember it
just a little differently.
397
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,858
Well, tell us your version.
398
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:28,904
Now granted, I was just a kid,
but I say...
399
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,490
Grampa always hated Bongo
400
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,367
and loved money so he sold Bongo
401
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:36,453
to a wicked farm witch
just so he could hang out
402
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,206
with a bunch of rich dogs,
and kidnapped Santa
403
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:42,292
so I'd never get the toy
I actually wanted.
404
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,920
And then... then wha...
405
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,588
and then what happened... was...
406
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,966
(stammers)
407
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:51,719
Gee, my story
doesn't make much sense,
408
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,303
except the Santa part.
409
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,972
Yeah, but at least it was short.
410
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,890
Wait. Wait.
411
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,935
There's one part of the story
even Grampa didn't know about.
412
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,063
A few months later,
I went to rescue Bongo.
413
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,280
(coughing)
414
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:14,283
Hendrix, come here, boy.
415
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,201
(barking)
416
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,204
But there was one thing
I wasn't prepared for.
417
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,539
Bongo was...
418
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,292
happy without me.
419
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,754
He had become her dog.
420
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,797
Oh, Homie.
421
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,299
I'm so sorry.
422
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,384
Well, that's just the way dogs are.
423
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,429
The most disloyal, unfaithful
creatures God ever made.
424
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:38,515
Homer, maybe you should take
a look at this.
425
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:42,186
A Christmas card I got
from Miss Viola years later.
426
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,857
HOMER: He still had my sweatshirt.
427
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,151
Bongo didn't forget you.
428
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,320
Unlike those gerbils
of yours we gave away.
429
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,822
Oh, they were fickle as hell.
430
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,532
Oh, my God, Dad.
431
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,951
I owe you an apology.
432
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:01,038
You saved Bongo.
433
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,874
I never understood that till now.
434
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,626
(sobbing)
All these years I thought
435
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,712
you loved that dog more than me.
436
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:12,549
(sobbing)
Why would you think that?
437
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:16,804
Just because I put you in a home
where they feed you dog food?
438
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,807
Aw, give me a hug, son.
439
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,726
Okay, but I'm a little out of practice.
440
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:26,230
Hold your arms like you're
carrying a wedding cake.
441
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,232
-What flavor?
-It doesn't matter.
442
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,651
If it doesn't matter,
then I call Snickers.
443
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:33,654
-That's not a flavor.
-Everything's a flavor
444
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,072
in the kitchens of today.
445
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,698
Just hug already.
446
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,788
Homie? Huh?
447
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,541
(snoring)
448
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,459
Come on, boy, time to go to bed.
449
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,294
My dog.
450
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,005
All right, Homer, it's your moment.
451
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,382
But he's mine tomorrow.
452
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,175
(both snoring)
453
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,886
♪ Me and my Arrow ♪
454
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,225
♪ Straighter than narrow ♪
455
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,896
♪ Wherever we go ♪
456
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:13,152
♪ Everyone knows it's me and my Arrow ♪
457
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,200
More tea, sir?
458
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,244
No. Any word from Karl Rove?
459
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,037
Sir, despite what he's been
telling you, it's over.
460
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,706
-Romney lost.
-Damn it.
461
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,126
I guess it's time I explain
to these good people
462
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,461
the upcoming fiscal cliff.
463
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,801
Think of the economy as a car
and the rich man as the driver.
464
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,262
If you don't give the driver
all the money,
465
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,471
he'll drive you over a cliff.
466
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:44,474
It's just common sense.
467
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,101
Furthermore, rich people feel things
468
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,061
more deeply than the common man.
469
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,398
{\an8}(screaming, sobbing)
470
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,942
And we've got to change our
approach to immigration.
471
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,778
I have a progressive proposal
to let into this country
472
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,239
200 grimy Irishmen a year.
473
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,450
I've got lots of potatoes
that need peeling
474
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,285
and stables to be mucked out.
475
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,953
Sir, the insta-polls are in.
476
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,663
You're just digging yourself deeper.
477
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,040
Well, then let me just say this.
478
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,792
Marco Rubio... (speaking Spanish)
479
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,920
I'm afraid you
just made things even worse.
480
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,129
How? Why?
481
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,256
You just said Marco Rubio
is a pink handkerchief.
482
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,884
This public service announcement is over.
483
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,177
(glass breaks)
484
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,054
BURNS:
Execute the cameraman.
485
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,137
Shh!
486
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,935
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay