1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,839 -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -(whimpering) 2 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,142 Heh. 3 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,819 NARRATOR: Neptune-- eighth planet from the sun. 4 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,697 A mystery now, we hope to have close-up photos 5 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,282 from Voyager 2 6 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,701 in 1989. 7 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,244 We do have them! 8 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:37,954 They're my home screen! 9 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,331 Miss Hoover, once again, the lesson plan I prepared 10 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,375 would have covered this topic much better. 11 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,793 But I can see... 12 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,295 (rumbling) 13 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,838 (whimpers) 14 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,173 Miss Hoover? 15 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,008 It's Tuesday, Lisa. 16 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,426 Taco Tuesday. 17 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:52,969 -(rumbling continues) -(shudders) 18 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:53,887 Huh? 19 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:54,888 Huh? 20 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,097 (bell rings) 21 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,350 ALL: Taco Tuesday! Taco Tuesday! 22 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,811 Taco Tuesday! 23 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:06,066 (quietly chanting) Taco Tuesday, Taco Tuesday... 24 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,150 (rumbling) 25 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,319 Oh, no. I'm about to become 26 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,613 another moppin' statistic. 27 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,410 {\an8}There's only room for one of us, Ethel. 28 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,873 {\an8}(music from Titanic playing) 29 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,089 {\an8}-(kids laughing) -(grunting, yelling) 30 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,008 {\an8}(grunting) 31 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,386 {\an8}(crunching) 32 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,347 {\an8}Bart, that's your sixth taco. 33 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,016 {\an8}You know, Whitman says, "If anything is sacred, 34 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,935 {\an8}the human body is sacred." 35 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,562 {\an8}(mouth full) Fascinating. 36 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,690 Congratulations, boys. 37 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,026 You made it through another Taco Tuesday. 38 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,445 {\an8}Back in the bucket till next week. 39 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,739 {\an8}Won't those vegetables go bad? 40 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,992 {\an8}Nope. They're genetically modified to stay fresh. 41 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,495 {\an8}Just don't ask how old the Jell-O is. 42 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,413 {\an8}LISA: Ew. 43 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,000 {\an8}Overreactor.org warns that over half 44 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,753 {\an8}of the vegetables sold in this country are 45 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,381 {\an8}genetically modified organisms 46 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,216 {\an8}whose effect on humans is... 47 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,884 {\an8}unknown. 48 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:19,305 {\an8}Whoa! Mom, you made me overswipe! 49 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,642 Your parents' credit card has been charged $20. 50 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,644 (laughs) 51 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,604 {\an8}(gasps) I have to get to the church. 52 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,482 {\an8}Helen Lovejoy is posting the spring volunteer sign-up sheet. 53 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,902 {\an8}In five minutes, every good task will be taken. 54 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,237 {\an8}-(tires screech) -Dang it! 55 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,740 {\an8}Jasper Beardley! 56 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,409 {\an8}You'll never make it! 57 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,994 {\an8}(low mumbling) 58 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,663 {\an8}(Marge murmuring, smacking lips) 59 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:44,998 {\an8}No! 60 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,333 {\an8}(low mumbling) 61 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,501 {\an8}(frustrated grunt) 62 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,753 {\an8}♪ ♪ 63 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,463 {\an8}(revving engine) 64 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,215 {\an8}Ooh... (groans) 65 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,426 {\an8}(low mumbling) 66 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,180 {\an8}(groans) 67 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,931 {\an8}(mumbling) 68 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,016 {\an8}Oh! 69 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,769 {\an8}What the hell is this thing? 70 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,354 {\an8}(signal light clicking) 71 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,522 {\an8}Bake sale-- taken. 72 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,524 {\an8}Candle snuffing-- taken. 73 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,444 {\an8}Baby shusher, miscellaneous choir support. 74 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,779 {\an8}Everything's taken! All that's left is... 75 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,573 {\an8}Teen abstinence counseling. 76 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,325 {\an8}You get to pass out abstinence pledges 77 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:22,952 {\an8}and make sure the kids sign their John Han-bleeps. 78 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,621 {\an8}(Marge grumbles) 79 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,790 {\an8}But, Ned, saying nay is your thing. 80 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,083 {\an8}Not this month. (chuckles) 81 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,919 {\an8}Edna signed us up for a tango class. 82 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,047 {\an8}It was the only way I could avert... (sighs) wine-tasting. 83 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:38,384 {\an8}Look, I'm really not comfortable talking about S-E-X 84 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,386 {\an8}with K-I-D-S. 85 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,222 {\an8}Language. 86 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,932 {\an8}Oh, it's not that hard. Just tell them 87 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,100 {\an8}that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies 88 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,352 {\an8}that God is making happen. 89 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,604 {\an8}We took the pledge! 90 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,689 {\an8}We won't have sex until we're married! 91 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,524 {\an8}To each other! 92 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,193 {\an8}(both humming a tune) 93 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,488 {\an8}Mm, their skipping lessons are really paying off. 94 00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,989 {\an8}MARGE: Hello. Hello. 95 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,324 {\an8}(nervous laugh) 96 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,202 {\an8}I'm-I'm Marge Simpson, and I'm here to talk 97 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,830 {\an8}about a... a-a wonderful, beautiful thing. 98 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:11,125 Speaking of beautiful things, tongue me, babe. 99 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,336 (both grunting) 100 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,422 (gasps) 101 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,262 How many of you are here for the free cookies? 102 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,846 Because we've discontinued that. 103 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,682 -I'm out of here. -Forget you! 104 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,725 One of our brightest and most meddlesome students 105 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,352 called this meeting-- somehow-- 106 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,938 to discuss an urgent menu matter. Lisa? 107 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,400 Our school cafeteria is serving GMOs-- 108 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,277 genetically modified organisms. 109 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,778 (people gasping) 110 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,947 Now, in order to thoroughly explore the issue, 111 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,449 I'd like to play the first video that came up in my web browser 112 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,785 when I typed in "GMO" plus "danger" 113 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,245 plus "question mark." 114 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,289 Hear, hear! 115 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,874 ♪ ♪ 116 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,627 NARRATOR: If there's one thing scientists love, it's money. 117 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,212 Money, money, money. 118 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,006 And that's been true of scientists 119 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,216 ever since caveman times. 120 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,719 We need look no further back than the ancient Mayans, 121 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,679 who crossbred plants and animals 122 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,765 in an unholy experiment in what is now a resort 123 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,601 that charges $30 a night to valet park. 124 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,979 Once you're there, they've gotcha. 125 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,314 (all gasp) 126 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,024 The Mayans didn't listen... 127 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,984 to themselves. 128 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,320 Yet today, we toy with our fate 129 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,238 by using retroviruses 130 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,241 to create these so-called "super foods." 131 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,243 Are we doomed to repeat an event 132 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,746 -(snaps fingers) -that destroyed all human life? 133 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,415 {\an8}The answer is in your mouth! 134 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,168 {\an8}(narrator laughing maniacally) 135 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:40,131 Um, that video seemed a little unscientific. 136 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:43,968 My name is Jenny McCarthy, and I endorse this tirade. 137 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,137 Oh, my God, it's worse than I thought. 138 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,140 Everybody wait here while I do some actual research. 139 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,392 Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone. 140 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,728 Well, hurry, we have no minds of our own. 141 00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,897 ♪ ♪ 142 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,941 I say we do not categorically ban 143 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,235 genetically modified organisms. 144 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,320 ALL: What?! 145 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,447 Well, GMOs are resistant to pests, 146 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,823 disease, and drought. 147 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,617 It's just possible that GMOs 148 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,161 can actually end world hunger. 149 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:14,040 I say, let's get these GMOs inside our children pronto! 150 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,166 Way ahead of you! 151 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,460 (people whooping, shouting) 152 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,548 I'm eating the food of the future. 153 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,635 (robotically) Beep, boop. What is love? 154 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,220 Boop, beep, boop. 155 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,971 Lisa, I'd like to thank you 156 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,140 for mollifying these land apes. 157 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,975 We'd like you and your family to visit us 158 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,769 at the Monsarno research campus. 159 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,270 Ooh, campus! 160 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,855 Do you have a statue of the founder 161 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,482 I can stick a funny hat on? 162 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,985 Go, go, go! 163 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,988 (giggling) 164 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,490 WOMAN: Simpsons, we're trying 165 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,493 to change the world one molecule at a time. 166 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,495 Sounds like that would take a while. 167 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,913 Ooh, you're right. 168 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,666 Everyone, three molecules at a time. 169 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,835 -(others grumbling) -Oh, you got to be kidding me! 170 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,670 (exasperated sigh) I'll be home late, honey. 171 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,005 Yeah. Three molecules now. 172 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632 Well, it's nice to see for once 173 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:07,593 a corporation that does good work and cares about people. 174 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,596 Yes, Lisa, we finally put to bed the silly notion 175 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,932 that our company is in any way evil. 176 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852 Now, say hello to our chief scientist. 177 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,854 -(door creaks) -(all scream) 178 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,689 {\an8}SIMPSONS: Sideshow Bob! 179 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,274 {\an8}Dr. Sideshow Bob. 180 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,025 Real doctor or PhD? 181 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,360 PhD. 182 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,532 All right, I'll leave you and Bob 183 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,409 in this locked room to get reacquainted. 184 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,743 (bolt clacks) 185 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,870 Simpsons, 186 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,330 there's no need for alarm. 187 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,377 That's not for you to suck! 188 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,087 Now... where was I? 189 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,047 Right. Uh, no need to worry. 190 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,091 I'm still technically shawshanking it 191 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,135 at Springfield Penitentiary. 192 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,470 This is getting boring. 193 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,889 Either murder us or tell us how you got here. 194 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,432 Very well. 195 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:59,270 The inanity of the vanity license plate puns 196 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,606 was slowly driving me mad. 197 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,608 So when Monsarno Labs asked for experimental subjects, 198 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,027 I... gladly volunteered. 199 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,580 My job was to make sure the experiments 200 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,458 wouldn't be too painful for the test monkeys. 201 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,335 -(zapping) -(screaming) 202 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,631 (flame whooshes) 203 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,965 I don't know what we're doing here. 204 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,967 Uh, we'll pick it up after lunch. 205 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,094 (quiet chattering) 206 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,224 -(zapping) -(Sideshow Bob screaming) 207 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,771 I wrote up my results and went from subject... 208 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,481 to scientist. 209 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,817 BART: (laughs) Look at me! 210 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,653 I'm Sideshow Bob! 211 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,404 (shrieks) Sideshow Bob! 212 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,323 Foolish boy! That's phosphoric acid! 213 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,034 A mere sip would have dissolved 214 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,119 a hole in your stomach the size of a silver dollar. 215 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,454 Yakety, yakety, yak. 216 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,706 "The spotted hawk accuses me, 217 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,500 he complains of my gab." 218 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:06,087 "I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable." 219 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,673 Walt Whitman. Leaves of Grass. 220 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,008 Very good. Lisa, you always were 221 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,679 the one rose petal floating atop the cesspool 222 00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,264 that is the Simpsons. 223 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,974 -HOMER: Well! -BART: That's mean. 224 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,017 -(giggles) Oh... -(door opens) 225 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,521 If you're done, our chief scientist has to get back to work. 226 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,357 Our corn on the cob has become self-aware. 227 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,901 Wait! Wait! Won't you visit me again? 228 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,571 Let me show you I really am trying to make a better world. 229 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,823 Lisa, we can talk Walt Whitman. 230 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,741 And, Homer, I think you'd enjoy the company 231 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,077 of the campus' lazy, overfed squirrels. 232 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,122 "Overfed"? I don't know this word. 233 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,000 ♪ ♪ 234 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:47,420 (crickets chirping) 235 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,425 Visit me, Lisa. We can discuss poetry, 236 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:56,012 fine art, and... and if we must, jazz. 237 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,514 Mom, can I visit Sideshow Bob? 238 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,474 Why would you want to do that? 239 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,101 He's tried to kill us! 240 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,186 You. He tried to kill you. 241 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,314 And I refuse to concede a mind that thinks 242 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,482 so much like mine can be all bad. 243 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:12,153 Don't you think the parts that aren't evil are a little, mm... 244 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,404 pretentious? 245 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,781 Absolutely. We're talking about Lisa, right? 246 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,867 -Shut up! -You shut up! 247 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,745 This is the pinnacle of conversation around here! 248 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,079 Fine, I'll take you. 249 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,664 They have this cool psych class 250 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,750 at the campus I sat in on. 251 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,753 (whispers) Uh, that was a sexual harassment seminar. 252 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,921 It doesn't matter-- I'm taking it pass-fail. 253 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,011 Blowing off steam in the crafts room, Marge? 254 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:40,097 No! I'm not giving up on reaching those kids, 255 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,350 and I might just have a secret weapon. 256 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,143 Mm-hmm. Is it finger puppets? 257 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,978 Maybe! 258 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,356 Well, we haven't had finger puppets in this church 259 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,858 since Reverend Brogan was arrested. 260 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,028 But I suppose enough time has passed. 261 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,113 And that's why Nancy No 262 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,283 is the most popular girl in Promiseville High. 263 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,995 Mm. I prefer the modern thinking of Yolanda Yes. 264 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,248 And I think I'd have a shot with Mabel Maybe. 265 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,459 (laughter) 266 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:12,046 I'm so tired of those kids sniggering. 267 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,799 Uh-oh. It's Horndog Hank. 268 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,343 Well, Nancy knows how to keep him away. 269 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,303 (material creaking) 270 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,263 Darn it, they're stuck. 271 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:24,934 (Marge groans) 272 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,560 (Marge sighs) 273 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,981 Um, can I take one of those 274 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,775 girl puppets home? 275 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,151 I won't do nothin' to it. 276 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,486 Oh! 277 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,364 ♪ You say modified tomato ♪ 278 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,324 ♪ I say modified tomahto ♪ 279 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,536 ♪ I say engineered potato, you say engineered potahto ♪ 280 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,413 -♪ Potato! ♪ -♪ Potahto! ♪ 281 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,456 -♪ Tomato! ♪ -♪ Tomahto! ♪ 282 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,792 BOTH: ♪ Let's splice some DNA! ♪ 283 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,381 (laughs) 284 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,924 (chuckles) 285 00:11:57,007 --> 00:12:00,511 That is my first non-evil laugh in years. 286 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,347 Bob, there's one thing I got to know. 287 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,266 Are you plotting revenge? 288 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:08,018 I don't plot revenge anymore. 289 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,354 It's like love. If it happens, it happens. 290 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,440 Now, how about those s'mores? 291 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,988 Dad! You already ate all the chocolate bars. 292 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,907 That's why I got to get the marshmallows down fast. 293 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,075 (crickets chirping) 294 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,702 I like how they cut them down 295 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,328 from 140 characters 296 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,206 to a more manageable 20 characters. 297 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,876 Oh, another seminar tomorrow. 298 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,754 I just wish I could connect with those teenagers, 299 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,089 since it seems like we'll never have any. 300 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,841 (chuckling) Oh, Marge, 301 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,010 teens can't control their urges. 302 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:44,263 It's why there's never been a teenage president. 303 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,682 Are you saying I'm wasting my time? 304 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,727 No. I'm saying you're wasting everyone's time. 305 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,146 But it's a church thing, so that's a given. 306 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,773 Oh. Well, then maybe 307 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,150 I need to give those kids a better example. 308 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,193 Good night! 309 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,237 Shut your eyes. They're too bright. 310 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,697 Sorry. 311 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,032 (birds singing) 312 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,243 Kids, today, we have a very special guest-- 313 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,871 my husband. 314 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,039 I brought Homer here 315 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,665 to show that we can, 316 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:15,377 and have, abstained for two whole days. 317 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,713 Two days? That's all? 318 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,716 That means, three days ago, the two of you 319 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,052 made the blob with two backs! 320 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,637 Listen, you punks, 321 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,223 if you can't handle the image of our naked bodies 322 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,100 in the tender act of a-oo-ga, 323 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,562 you should never have come to the basement of this holy place. 324 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,815 Ugh! He's touching her! 325 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,067 They're practically doin' it here! 326 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,360 Ugh! 327 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:40,861 (sexy purring) 328 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,656 (both moaning) 329 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,199 I'll sign the pledge! 330 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,785 Just get your fat heaving buttocks out of my head! 331 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,078 Never! 332 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,747 (tires squeak) 333 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,417 All right, Bob, you've created 5,000 patents, 334 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,628 so... one hour of freedom. 335 00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,130 But remember, your every move will be watched 336 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,424 by these unarmed docents. 337 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,344 That block's gonna need its own ticket. 338 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,179 I have a family membership. 339 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,015 Well, if that's your kid, kiss it. 340 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,350 (groans) 341 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,601 Mmm. 342 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,770 (makes loud kissing sound) 343 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,522 -(wheels squeaking) -What next? 344 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,857 Proto-Cubists? 345 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,608 (with French accent) The Pointillists? 346 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,611 Or the alleged art of Itchy and Scratchy? 347 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,197 Ooh, ooh, I like the Impressionists. 348 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,700 The boy bands of the art world. 349 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:32,204 But for you, Lisa, I shall face the Renoir with sangfroid. 350 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,164 {\an8}Warmer. Calder. 351 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,875 {\an8}Warmer. Warmer. Calder. 352 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,042 Calder. Calder! 353 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,045 That's using your $300,000 M.F.A. 354 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:48,971 To the Calder mobile! 355 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,431 Ugh! 356 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,350 Bob, you saved me! 357 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,019 But how did you get the strength? 358 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,396 Calder's work in this period was marked by heavy use 359 00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:00,107 of sheet metal painted to look deceptively airy. 360 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,151 -Well put. -Thank you. 361 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,611 Answer the question. 362 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,405 Well... there is something I should have told you. 363 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,948 You see, it occurred to me 364 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,743 that if I can genetically modify fruits and vegetables, 365 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,495 why can't I modify... me?! 366 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,248 You've been changing your DNA?! 367 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:20,044 Well, at first, just a peptide here and there. 368 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:23,589 Carrot for my presbyopia, Brahma bull for strength, 369 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,508 and a touch of corn for highlights on my hair. 370 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,928 So... how strong are you? 371 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,641 (wind whipping) 372 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,477 Figurines. 373 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,271 Get your porcelain figurines. 374 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,650 Now, how about those Impressionists? 375 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,154 I... but... 376 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,365 we sang Gershwin together! 377 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,576 Well, rhapsody in boo-hoo. 378 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,620 Do you know why we came to the museum today? 379 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:58,290 Well, I thought it was because it was Tote Bag Day. 380 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:03,045 Well, that was part of it, but the biggest part was that! 381 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,965 Washington's backbone, Einstein's eyebrows. 382 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,549 Florence Nightingale's tenacity, 383 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,635 though I'll have to clip around her moral fiber. 384 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,762 (gasps) You're going to take DNA 385 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,974 from these historical figures and add it to your own! 386 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,518 I shall be the wisest and strongest maniac 387 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,188 ever to bring the blessings of dictatorship to the world! 388 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,400 BART: Jig's up, Bob! 389 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,986 Return the spear to the Homo erectus. 390 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,113 {\an8}(laughing) Homo erectus? 391 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,615 {\an8}Where has that word been all my life? 392 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,826 Now, Bart, I promised I wouldn't hurt you. 393 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,327 You did that for me? 394 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,246 More for Mom, but yes. 395 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,415 But beware, I have DNA in me 396 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,291 from Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, 397 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,668 better known as... 398 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:46,255 zombie ant fungus! 399 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:50,676 And we're scared of that because...? 400 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,012 What I am saying is, I could be tipped 401 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,972 into a murderous rage by the slightest provocation. 402 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,516 Could you take a picture of me with my family? 403 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,684 Mm-hmm. 404 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:02,187 Oh, would you take another for safety? 405 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,356 Oh, I think my eyes were shut in that one. 406 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,108 (groaning) 407 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,277 Now, can you take one with my husband's camera? 408 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,154 They're all ugly because you're in them! 409 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,531 -Oh! -(children cry) 410 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:16,368 Taste Praxiteles of Athens! 411 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,703 (yelling) 412 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,204 (moos) 413 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,540 (panting) 414 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,004 -(phone rings) -Uh, Chief, 415 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,714 we got a report of a disturbance at the Met. 416 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,174 We got bigger problems, Lou. 417 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,801 Horny teens who should be out having bad sex, 418 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,722 but instead somebody made them take an abstinence pledge, 419 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:37,890 by the looks of it. 420 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,518 I don't get it. There are taboos 421 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,145 about premarital sex in the Middle East, 422 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,814 and you don't see those people getting all violent. 423 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,233 (panting) 424 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,485 (panting) 425 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,236 You can't escape me! 426 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:56,784 I've got grasshopper thighs and the sonar of a killer whale! 427 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,369 (making whale sounds) 428 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,250 (loud panting) 429 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,711 (gasping) 430 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:16,720 Uh, Bob, you can't kill us without a little singing, right? 431 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,013 A little singing? 432 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,473 If there's one thing he did not have 433 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,809 to genetically enhance, it's his voice. 434 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:26,563 ♪ Non più andrai, farfallone amoroso... ♪ 435 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,065 (tires screeching) 436 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,819 How dare you torture my children with Mozart! 437 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,821 Ah, you know Mozart? 438 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,031 I call all music Mozart! 439 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,659 We're here to stop you with the help of 440 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,828 the teenage abstinence class! 441 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,329 If you defeat this madman, 442 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,164 I'll release you from your pledge 443 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,167 and teach you other fun ways not to get pregnant. 444 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,336 I think I might be pregnant already. 445 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:50,879 Well, that's one of 'em. 446 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,424 (all grunting and yelling) 447 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,928 (groaning) 448 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,264 Python jaw... unhinge! 449 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,682 Aah! 450 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,268 (muffled) I don't want to die in some old dude's mouth! 451 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,311 (sobbing) 452 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,772 Bob, would you look at yourself?! 453 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,149 (mumbles) 454 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,526 To quote Whitman, "This is what you shall do: 455 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,570 love the earth and sun and animals, 456 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,948 despise riches, stand up for the stupid and crazy..." 457 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,367 (mumbles) 458 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:21,577 Who am I kidding? 459 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,871 My only exit... is a final one. 460 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,289 What?! No! 461 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,790 Farewell, Simpsons. 462 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,293 And, Lisa, when you're older, 463 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,212 write an autobiographical novel trashing the rest of them. 464 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,547 How veiled? 465 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,133 Thinly! 466 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,137 (grunting) 467 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,681 (chicken clucking sound) 468 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,102 Now, don't worry. 469 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,731 Your friend will always be part of our drinking water. 470 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,900 (water gurgling) 471 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,950 Oh, right, I gave myself gills. 472 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,911 (water gurgling) 473 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:08,040 (groaning) 474 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,213 (tango music playing) 475 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,967 I told you, the only dancing I like is square. 476 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,471 Hey, I let you pay for those boys' skipping lessons. 477 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,889 Okay. 478 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,350 ♪ ♪ 479 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,819 Ooh! Ned! Ha! 480 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,574 Sure do miss that laugh. 481 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,618 Haw haw! 482 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,662 I miss her, too. 483 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 484 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,965 Subtitled by Cody Noline