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00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,256
{\an8}-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(cheering)
2
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D'oh!
3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,509
(tires screeching)
4
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(grunts)
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(clamoring)
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{\an8}Okay. Next question.
7
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,517
Yes. Will there be another
Simpsons movie?
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♪ ♪
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LISA:
Our Lord, Buddha, says,
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00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:37,245
"The secret of existence
is to pass beyond fear."
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My brother is about
to meet fear...
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00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,082
and as usual...
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he won't pass.
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{\an8}Wake up, Lis!
It's the last day of school!
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{\an8}(groans)
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00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:50,300
{\an8}Wake up, Maggs!
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00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,593
{\an8}It's the last day of school!
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{\an8}(singsongy)
Last day of school!
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{\an8}-(metal clanging rhythmically)
-Last day of school!
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{\an8}Found my summer hobby!
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{\an8}Banging pots together!
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{\an8}Don't worry, Marge.
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{\an8}As a favor to you,
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{\an8}I'm enrolling
that precious little jerk
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{\an8}in this fresh air summer camp.
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{\an8}(Marge groans)
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{\an8}That's a prison road crew.
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{\an8}I did that last summer.
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{\an8}I'm not allowed back.
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{\an8}(humming)
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{\an8}(whirring)
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{\an8}Good-bye forever,
multiplication!
33
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{\an8}(slurps)
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{\an8}Uh...
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00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:20,789
{\an8}needs more numerators.
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{\an8}Ah, "July 4th..."
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{\an8}What the...?
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{\an8}No fireworks?!
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{\an8}Can't this stupid city
entertain me one night a year?!
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{\an8}The city's broke.
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{\an8}The fire department
has to raise money
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{\an8}by delivering pizza.
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{\an8}My baby!
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{\an8}Back ribs!
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{\an8}Marge, when you're broke,
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{\an8}that's when you got
to keep up appearances.
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{\an8}The Fourth of July is the one
day a year when our city puts on
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{\an8}her high heels and tube top
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{\an8}and leans into
America's car window.
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{\an8}(crying)
God bless her.
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LISA: The last day of school.
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Field Day.
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{\an8}When you learn to balance
an egg on a spoon
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{\an8}and run with your leg
tied to someone
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{\an8}who wouldn't
talk to you all year.
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00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,920
{\an8}Hey! Are you coming
to the after-school pool party?
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{\an8}Not now.
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{\an8}(giggles)
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{\an8}Aw... no fair!
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{\an8}He actually has three legs.
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{\an8}You lay off my son, Tripod!
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{\an8}He won fair and square,
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{\an8}just like my twins,
Wheel and Barrow.
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{\an8}Now, take you brother
to the face painting.
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{\an8}But don't make yourselves up
to look all freaky.
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{\an8}One, two, three, toss.
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{\an8}(laughs)
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00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:39,159
{\an8}The eggs are supposed
to be tossed between students,
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{\an8}not at the principal.
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{\an8}Once more and hurl!
Aah!
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00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,749
{\an8}We will do this
until we get it right.
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{\an8}Look, do you want this to be
your last school memory?
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}Pull harder!
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{\an8}What is wrong with you people?!
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{\an8}Hey.
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{\an8}I have thumbs, too.
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{\an8}(chiming)
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{\an8}(yells)
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{\an8}I like the Play-Doh
that comes out the back.
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{\an8}See you next June, Macaroni.
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(door latch slides shut)
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And now the climactic
Race around the School.
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00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,122
Previous winners include
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Sideshow Mel,
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Señora Bumblebee Man
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and Olympian Edwin Moses.
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I'll bet your
biggest hurdle was
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leaving your
beloved hometown.
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All hurdles
are the same size.
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00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,092
Man... who is this loser?
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I've got a secret, Bart.
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That's good.
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Want to know what it is?
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00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:43,932
No.
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My secret is:
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I've been training
for this race
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and no one suspects.
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Check it out:
100
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,272
I'm wearing a dummy tummy.
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00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,361
I'm gonna win,
and it'll change my life!
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00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,781
Wow!
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Breaking that tape
cured your asthma.
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00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,619
(deep voice)
Marvelous! Ha-ha-ha!
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(guffaws)
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(gasps)
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00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,878
(lisping)
Six on Bart Simpson.
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00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,047
BOTH:
Two on us to win.
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00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,715
$20 on Milhouse.
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Milhouse?!
(scoffs)
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That's a thousand-to-one odds.
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00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,930
Perhaps I should
take my action to Willie.
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(grunts)
I ain't makin' book no more.
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I lost the deed to my shack!
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00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,769
You are late
with the rent, Willie.
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I'll have it by Friday, Mr. U.
I swear.
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We can handle your action.
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(trumpet playing in the distance)
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Betting is now closed.
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(panting)
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00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,825
And now, the 79th running
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of the Race around the School.
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Gun in the school!
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What the...?
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00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:53,042
Just, just go.
And they're off!
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00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,961
We've got a pack
of fifth-graders on the rail,
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Simp-son holding down the center
128
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,717
while Database and Cosine
are still testing the wind speed.
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00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,468
As the runners go into the first turn,
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Lewis is in the lead!
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Followed by Lovejoy's daughter,
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00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,556
Fat Tony's nephew,
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00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:07,807
-Brockman's little girl...
-(screams)
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00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,225
...and Jailbird's kid!
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The Frank Sinatra kid...
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00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,395
well, he's doing it his way!
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Rounding out the pack
are all the kids that we never see.
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What's this?
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00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,068
Milhouse takes the lead?
140
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,611
The same boy
who sprained his shoulder
141
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,322
doing the Pledge of Allegiance?
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(panting)
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00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,491
Uh-oh!
If Milhouse wins this race,
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00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,201
we're out a fortune.
145
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,995
Don't worry.
The race takes a turn
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00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,955
through the trees
where no one can see.
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00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,333
When Milhouse gets there,
you know what to do.
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00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,084
Oh, yeah. Totally.
149
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,170
I mean, it's so obvious.
150
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,671
Just punch him!
151
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,964
Exactly.
152
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:44,010
Right in the nnn...
fff... dee...?
153
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,762
There is no wrong answer!
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00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,889
CHALMERS:
And Milhouse, the boy nobody loves,
155
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,849
is widening his lead!
156
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,476
And what does he have
to jump over?
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00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:52,852
Nothing, that's what.
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00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,395
I'm out of here.
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00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,814
(grunting)
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00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,108
Good job, Edwin.
161
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,778
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
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00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,364
And when I win,
I'm changing my name.
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To something cool like Winnie!
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Did you come to give me
a cup of water?
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(both grunt)
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(groans)
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The best day of my life
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just turned into every
other day of my life.
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LISA:
Bart faced a terrible choice--
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00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,637
take a beating with his friend
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or slither off like a coward.
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And like he did with every
multiple choice question
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he ever saw, Bart chose "B."
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00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,404
(crowd cheering)
175
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,989
The winner is Bart Simpson!
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00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,574
LISA:
Bart won a blue ribbon.
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00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,700
But was it worth it?
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00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,036
MARGE:
Lisa! Bath time!
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00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,205
LISA:
Mom! I'm narrating!
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00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:56,165
MARGE:
The water's gonna get cold!
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00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,750
LISA:
Fine.
182
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,382
LISA: As the pin on the back
of the blue ribbon made its way
183
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:06,426
through Bart's shirt
and into its housing,
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00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,511
the seeds of his comeuppance
185
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,430
flew out of the woods.
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00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,348
Son! What happened to you
187
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,851
in the dark place
behind the school?
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Something good?
189
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,440
I'm afraid I don't remember.
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00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,858
Whew.
191
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,193
Well, it looks like Milhouse
has traumatic amnesia.
192
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,070
He may never remember
what happened to him.
193
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,115
The most important thing is,
the race results are now official.
194
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,784
Now I've got to look
at some severe cases
195
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,203
of ice cream headache.
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00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,456
(theme from M*A*S*H playing)
197
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,635
(Bart groaning)
198
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,473
(gasps)
199
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,475
Help me, Bart!
200
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,561
(screams)
201
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,438
Help me, Bart!
202
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,647
(shouts)
203
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,648
(gasps)
204
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,485
Help me, Bart!
205
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:08,613
(gasping)
206
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,239
Why am I having nightmares?
207
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,616
I'm no coward.
208
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:12,783
(screams)
209
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:13,868
A chicken feather?
210
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,411
Why would you hand this to me?
211
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,163
Oh, you must've figured out
212
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,998
I chickened out during the race.
213
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,501
Well, who are you to judge me?
214
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,587
I suck? You suck!
215
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,256
LISA: While Bart was being
outwitted by a baby,
216
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,093
something was coming to a boil
in our pop's brainpan.
217
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,180
Marge, if this stupid,
one-reactor town won't put on
218
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,848
a fireworks show, I will.
219
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,308
I've mapped it out.
220
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,227
(laughs)
Hmm?
221
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,562
(groans)
222
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:45,358
Maybe we should just light
sparklers in the backyard.
223
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:48,903
Eh, I've had my problems
with sparklers.
224
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,530
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
Fun! Fun! Fun!
225
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,031
(screams)
226
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,158
LISA:
Fourth of July fireworks
227
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,409
were a different story.
228
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,994
They meant more to my dad
229
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,829
than my Mom could ever know.
230
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,831
It was the one night
of every year
231
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,376
that he couldn't hear
his parents argue.
232
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:06,128
He figured it was because
they loved the fireworks
233
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,589
just as much as he did.
234
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,466
I want to take a class!
235
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,594
Why can't you be happy
ironing my shirts?!
236
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,179
I need space!
237
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,682
Then close your eyes
and go to Hawaii!
238
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,811
LISA: With his mom gone,
Homer needed a hero,
239
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,646
and no one was a bigger hero
240
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,607
than the magical little man
behind the controls.
241
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,110
(fireworks whistling)
242
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,695
Are you God?
243
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,530
No, no.
244
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:36,033
But I shoot rockets
into his a-face.
245
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,910
Here's-a my card.
246
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,163
Don't forget to treasure it.
247
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,124
Hmm.
248
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,333
Now let's see.
249
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,127
Which pants have that card?
250
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,004
Board shorts, interested shorts.
251
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,506
Here we are.
252
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,508
Ka-boom.
253
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,679
Giuseppe, I want you
to come out of retirement
254
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,765
for the greatest fireworks show
of your career.
255
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:03,227
Why do you come here
and remind me of a time in my life
256
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,564
when I made a-tons of money
doing a-what I love?
257
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:09,400
If the Expendables movies
have taught us anything,
258
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,068
it's that people
do their best work
259
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,571
after they're old and forgotten.
260
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:17,491
Well, I am younger
than Sylvester Stallone.
261
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,368
I will do it!
262
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,749
Hey, buddy.
263
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,376
Bart, my truest friend.
264
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,878
I brought you a cake.
265
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,379
Read it.
266
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,214
That's an odd message.
267
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,009
But who am I to argue
with icing?
268
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,095
Will you watch
Cassidy the Crocodile with me?
269
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,431
Um, that's kind of a baby show.
270
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,725
It's all I can handle now.
271
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,268
(sighs)
272
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,854
Henrietta Kitten?
273
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,397
Will you marry me?
274
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,483
Meow, meow, maybe.
275
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,109
Why would a kitten
marry a crocodile?
276
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,361
Wouldn't it eat her?
277
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,528
(shushes)
278
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:57,031
Suspension of disbelief.
279
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,867
Friends help friends
in trouble.
280
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,035
No! Turn it off!
281
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,662
It's too intense for me!
282
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:06,040
Some guys just can't
handle crocodiles.
283
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,625
Is it over yet?
284
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:08,959
(chicken clucks)
285
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,503
And if you're dissatisfied
286
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,879
for any reason,
287
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,255
I will refund your money
288
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,466
in the form of acorns.
289
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,595
(groans)
290
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,474
Hey, this gunpowder,
it has a-crystal meth in it.
291
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,101
Crystal meth?
Then what the heck
292
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,187
did I sell to them
Colombian drug lords?
293
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,856
Brandine!
294
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,651
We're feuding
with the Escobars again!
295
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,320
Does that mean
I ain't talking to Maria?
296
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,155
Duh! Yes.
297
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,365
Homer, we will get
298
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,243
the fireworks someplace else.
299
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,705
The pig's been eating
the C-4 blocks again!
300
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,748
(burps)
301
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,084
(dog howls)
302
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:54,004
We've invited a new athlete
to join our do-gooding dream team.
303
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,383
Please welcome fleet-footed
phenom, Bart Simpson.
304
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,094
(crowd cheering)
305
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,054
Hey, everyone.
I sure got a lot of attention
306
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,265
for winning this year's
Race around the School.
307
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,100
(crowd cheering)
308
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,018
Completely deserved!
309
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,478
Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Mel.
310
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,939
But I am not here
to talk about myself.
311
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,859
Milhouse,
would you join me at the podium?
312
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:15,943
(clamoring)
313
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111
What's going on?
314
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,571
Seriously,
what-what's transpiring?
315
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,197
I've got to set things straight.
316
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,075
During that same race,
my friend Milhouse was in the lead,
317
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,369
when something
horrible happened!
318
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,998
LISA:
Bart knew the worst thing to do
319
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,167
was pile lie upon lie.
320
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,085
And that's exactly what he did.
321
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,628
Rather than try to figure out
what happened,
322
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,422
Milhouse had the courage
to move on.
323
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,048
To me, that's a hero.
324
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,383
(crowd cheering)
325
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,843
Nicely done.
326
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,970
Now we will give out
free rubber bracelets.
327
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,555
Do not wear them to bed.
328
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:45,973
They smell like truck tires.
329
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,141
They're disgusting.
330
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,730
Crotch or forehead?
331
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,899
Uh, forehead for once.
332
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:57,193
Wha...?
333
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:10,080
Bart Simpson!
334
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,917
You ran away
when I was getting beat up!
335
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,251
(crowd booing)
336
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,419
Bart's a coward!
337
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,670
He lied to us!
338
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,173
Stop the tattoo!
339
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:22,009
Uh, I could make it
a bag of groceries.
340
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,470
All right, make sure there's
some French bread sticking out.
341
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,515
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!
342
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,104
(crowd shouting)
343
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:37,024
Look how he runs now!
344
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,692
LISA: So Bart was revealed
as a coward.
345
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,862
And now it seemed
like the whole world
346
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,614
was against him.
347
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:44,615
(screams)
348
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,700
(panting)
349
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,078
MALE ANNOUNCER: Have you ever
considered a reverse-equity mortgage?
350
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,163
That's what put me
in this dump!
351
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,999
Grampa,
everyone's calling me a coward.
352
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,876
Well, join the club.
353
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,338
Anyone who makes it to old age
has got to be part-coward.
354
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,674
Come on,
you were in World War II.
355
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:04,093
Do you know
how I survived D-Day?
356
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,096
(retches)
357
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,515
Don't worry--
just a day at the beach.
358
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:13,686
(gunfire)
359
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:17,439
I'll be back around 1946!
360
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,608
But don't people hate cowards?
361
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,651
Sure do.
362
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,403
But we outlive the brave.
363
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:26,031
Leaving us cowards to make time
with the heroes' widows.
364
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,368
After Korea,
I was drowning in boobies.
365
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,871
Wow, that sounds pretty sweet.
366
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,372
Well, there is a price.
367
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,542
Do you wake up sweating
in the middle of the night?
368
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,543
Yes.
369
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,919
So do I.
370
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,045
But I get back to sleep
371
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,797
by counting the men I let down.
372
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,800
There's Jerry, Izzy, Brooklyn,
373
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,262
the O'Donnell boys,
the lost ship PT-108,
374
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,681
the Poor Buggers of Meatloaf Ridge,
375
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,516
the Andrews Sisters...
376
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,976
(snoring)
377
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:59,189
(gasps)
378
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,736
I understand.
379
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,280
You have standards.
380
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,449
(gasps)
381
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,201
This is an angry sleepover.
382
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,829
I'm only doing it
'cause it was on the books.
383
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:15,998
LISA:
While Bart was in hell,
384
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,333
Homer was happily surrounded
385
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,543
by fire and brimstone.
386
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,213
Okay, let's make some fireworks.
387
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,008
Now drive slowly and a-carefully
388
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,551
to my workshop.
389
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:31,013
It's in-a the Cobblestone
a-District.
390
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,685
Oh, thank God--
a rickety bridge.
391
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,608
Don't worry.
392
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,819
We'll be safe
in the Gas a-Lamp a-District.
393
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,824
(tires screeching)
394
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,831
("Stars and Stripes Forever" playing)
395
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:13,889
Can I pitch something?
396
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:14,974
Go ahead.
397
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,475
Boom! Biddy bom-bom boom!
398
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,310
Biddy bom bow! Ba-dip-boo!
399
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,687
Boom! Boom!
400
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,481
That's-a nice.
(laughs)
401
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,317
♪ Sometimes when we touch ♪
402
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:29,154
♪ The honesty's too much... ♪
403
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,409
Wrong holiday, Charlie Brown.
404
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,413
(overlapping chatter)
405
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,039
Yoink. Ha-haw!
406
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,541
We're on it, ma'am!
407
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,544
Okay, coarse gunpowder,
get the ball in there,
408
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,963
don't forget the wadding,
tamp, tamp, tamp,
409
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,673
fine gunpowder in the pan,
410
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:50,384
firing stance,
take careful aim and...
411
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,677
(grunts)
412
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,721
Uh, yeah,
not enough tamping, Chief.
413
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,347
Coarse gunpowder,
ball, wadding,
414
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,349
tamp, tamp, tamp,
tamp, tamp, tamp,
415
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,768
fine gunpowder in the pan.
Come on...
416
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,775
Aw, my boy's having a bad night.
417
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,527
We should get
this show on the road.
418
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,863
No, the time is not yet right.
419
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,407
When they look at their watches
and mutter,
420
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,368
"Hey, when are these a-jerks
going to a-start?"
421
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,621
That's when they're ready
to be enchanted.
422
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,914
Come on, let's go!
423
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,833
I can't stand to see
my family unhappy
424
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,294
on America's holiest day.
425
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,755
Actually, July 2 is
426
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,758
when congress declared
independence,
427
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:34,219
the date that-a
should be celebrated.
428
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,554
Hey, Super Mario.
429
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,806
Don't you tell me about America!
430
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,641
Idiot! I'm-a right!
431
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,934
No, you're a-wrong!
432
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,687
"July 2"--
I am quoting John Adams!
433
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,189
Who the hell is that?
434
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,356
(both grunt)
435
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,109
(all screaming)
436
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,278
Oh, dear.
The term "target audience"
437
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:54,198
is taking
on a sinister connotation.
438
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,788
Milhouse, this is my chance
to make things right.
439
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,040
What are you up to now?
440
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,876
Get on that bus! I'll explain
during the explosions!
441
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,128
Don't a-panic! We'll be okay
442
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:11,048
as long as the sequence
doesn't a-start.
443
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,634
Hit Bart's dad in the butt!
444
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:14,927
Roger that.
445
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,470
Did you factor in the wind?
446
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,638
No.
447
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,641
(beeps)
448
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,227
♪ Sometimes when we touch ♪
449
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,062
♪ The honesty's too much... ♪
450
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,313
Don't worry, boys!
451
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,982
I'll be with you
all the way to Berlin.
452
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,319
(cackles)
453
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,822
(all clamoring)
454
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,909
(coughing)
455
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:39,993
So, who is our hero?
456
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,370
I hope it's Carl.
457
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,955
Nah, no such luck.
458
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,123
I was just Tweeting a picture
459
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,166
of what I thought
was my last meal.
460
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,085
Hot dog and French fries!
461
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,256
(all gasping)
462
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:57,386
Milhouse is our unlikely savior!
463
00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,347
-Quit explaining everything!
-Let him talk!
464
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,682
Well, it wasn't me.
465
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,016
It was Bart who...
466
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,893
Saw everything you did.
467
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,854
Milhouse is the hero.
468
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,773
Take it from me, the boy
who's lied throughout.
469
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,442
ALL:
Milhouse! Milhouse!
470
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,819
Oh, I get it now.
471
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,321
Thanks, Bart.
472
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,700
LISA: So Milhouse got the redemption
he deserved,
473
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:22,578
and so, in a way, did Bart.
474
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,289
ALL:
Coward! Coward! Coward!
475
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,541
LISA:
Which meant that, at long last,
476
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:30,752
my brother could get
a good night's sleep.
477
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,422
(slow melody playing on piano)
478
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,472
Oh, enough doom and gloom!
479
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,058
(playing upbeat melody)
480
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,616
Look, Maggie, I undid my deed.
481
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,952
So I'm just gonna take
your feather and say good night.
482
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,371
Oh, where are these coming from?
483
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,333
Oh, I see.
484
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:13,128
That's all you wanted.
485
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,380
How's that, kiddo?
486
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,217
{\an8}(clucking)
487
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,138
{\an8}♪ ♪
488
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,016
{\an8}HOMER:
♪ Sometimes when we touch ♪
489
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:29,603
{\an8}GIUSEPPE:
♪ The honesty, she's-a too much ♪
490
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:35,192
{\an8}BOTH: ♪ And I have
to close my eyes and hide ♪
491
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,779
{\an8}GIUSEPPE:
♪ I wanna hold you till I die... ♪
492
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,239
{\an8}HOMER: (laughing)
One more year, tops.
493
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,448
{\an8}GIUSEPPE:
I live-a longer than you.
494
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,450
{\an8}I take a senior spin class.
495
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,285
{\an8}Always I'm increasing
the tension.
496
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,703
{\an8}HOMER:
Then, burn on you
497
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,914
{\an8}'cause you'll be holding
onto a dead guy. (laughs)
498
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,749
{\an8}GIUSEPPE:
♪ I wanna hold you ♪
499
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,961
{\an8}♪ A-till the fear
in me subsides... ♪
500
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,087
{\an8}HOMER:
Believe me, if you're holding
501
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,256
{\an8}onto a 300-pound dead guy,
502
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,424
{\an8}fear is not gonna be
your problem.
503
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,593
{\an8}GIUSEPPE: Congratulations,
you have ruined a beautiful song.
504
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,804
{\an8}HOMER: It's a song?
I thought we were just riffing.
505
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,014
{\an8}GIUSEPPE:
I apologize to Dan Hill
506
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,015
{\an8}and all of our viewers.
507
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,558
{\an8}-HOMER: I don't!
-Shh!
508
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,520
{\an8}Usher, will you stop
that person who's shushing?
509
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,940
Subtitled by Sally Albright