1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,213 -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -Whoa! 2 00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:06,840 (tires screech) 3 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,299 (theme music playing) 4 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,676 D'oh! 5 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,178 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 6 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,389 (piano playing softly) 7 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,152 -(static) -And in other news... 8 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,070 (all sigh happily) 9 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,997 {\an8}-BOTH: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? -No. 10 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,206 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -No! 11 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,833 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -I said no! 12 00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,877 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -What's wrong with your ears? 13 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,670 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -Look out the window! 14 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,464 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -We're not there! 15 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,424 {\an8}Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 16 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,633 {\an8}Okay. 17 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,260 {\an8}We're there. Finally. 18 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,429 {\an8}-Are we there yet? Are we there yet? -Huh? 19 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,264 {\an8}Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 20 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,515 {\an8}Damn technology! 21 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,517 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -Turn it off! 22 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,019 {\an8}-We did. -This is us. 23 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,771 {\an8}BOTH: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 24 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,856 {\an8}-(anguished scream) -(laughter) 25 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,107 {\an8}HOMER: Ooh, a spot. 26 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:10,361 {\an8}Okay, remember we're parked in the "Ethnic Princess" section. 27 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,113 {\an8}-(horn honks) -HOMER: Don't worry, 28 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,866 {\an8}this time I'm gonna write down where I parked. 29 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,921 {\an8}(crowd shouting) 30 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,547 {\an8}(screams) 31 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,134 Look! I see land! 32 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,055 (cheering) 33 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,265 Mama! We made it! 34 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,725 {\an8}Mama? 35 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,852 {\an8}No! 36 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,114 You planted that on me, man! 37 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,118 (screaming) 38 00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:05,125 Sorry. No outside pacifiers. 39 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,547 {\an8}Fine, but I'm not paying for the insurance. 40 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,466 {\an8}Oh, what the hell? Give me the insurance. 41 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,136 {\an8}(sizzles) 42 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,221 {\an8}Come on, Maggie. 43 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,182 {\an8}The first ride we go on will be for you. 44 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,770 ROOFI: ♪ Riding on a bug, riding on a bug ♪ 45 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:29,524 ♪ You'd rather be in school than riding on a bug ♪ 46 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,318 {\an8}♪ Riding on a bug, riding on a bug ♪ 47 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,112 {\an8}-♪ You'd rather be in school ♪ -Bug be damned! (gasps) 48 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,281 {\an8}-♪ Than riding on a bug ♪ -Ay, caramba! 49 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,325 {\an8}♪ Don't get off the bug, don't get off the bug ♪ 50 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:42,871 {\an8}♪ Certain death awaits if you get off the bug ♪ 51 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,956 {\an8}(ripping) 52 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,000 {\an8}-♪ Welcome to the bug, welcome to... ♪ -(groans) 53 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,711 {\an8}(groaning) 54 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,504 {\an8}(gun clicks) 55 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,173 {\an8}(heroic music plays) 56 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,383 {\an8}Whoa, this place sure has changed 57 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,969 {\an8}since Dizznee bought the rights to Cosmic Wars. 58 00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,930 {\an8}(bluegrass music playing) 59 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,891 {\an8}BART: Oh, geez! 60 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,018 {\an8}(mechanical whirring) 61 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,604 {\an8}Purchased for $4 billion, I was. 62 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:11,191 {\an8}Yet still hoodie ragged, wear I do, this. 63 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,111 Pirates of the Caribbean! Huh? 64 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,199 {\an8}They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people. 65 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,951 {\an8}♪ No means no ♪ 66 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,953 {\an8}♪ We know now ♪ 67 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,788 {\an8}♪ No means no ♪ 68 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,291 {\an8}♪ We know now ♪ 69 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,212 {\an8}(high-pitched) Ha-ha! My cartoons weren't good, 70 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,630 {\an8}they were just first! 71 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,219 {\an8}ALL: Ooh! 72 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,012 {\an8}Not enough ketchup. 73 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,770 {\an8}(groans) We've been here six hours 74 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,773 {\an8}and the coolest thing we've done is stand in the Cool Zone. 75 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:54,943 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: The Cool Zone is beyond maximum capacity. 76 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,694 {\an8}Disperse, disperse. 77 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,197 {\an8}(crowd grumbling) 78 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,282 {\an8}(screaming) 79 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,288 {\an8}(sighing happily) 80 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,456 {\an8}How about that one? 81 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,043 {\an8}(excited shouting) 82 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:15,046 {\an8}(screaming) 83 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:18,299 {\an8}Ooh, I don't like the end sounds on that. 84 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:26,808 ANNOUNCER: By 1994, we'll have drive-in theaters on Neptune! 85 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:30,061 Life magazine will be 400 pages long! 86 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:32,272 (slowly) And your telegrams will be delivered 87 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,232 by jetpa... 88 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,650 {\an8}Well, that's it. 89 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:40,071 {\an8}We've visited every section including Churro County, Toonton Abbey... 90 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,283 {\an8}but you know what we haven't had here? 91 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,410 {\an8}I'll tell you-- fun. 92 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,454 {\an8}The kind of fun attractive families have in commercials. 93 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,165 {\an8}Hey, Dad, I see a ride that actually looks decent. 94 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,460 {\an8}I just want to sit down, but the line for the bench is too long. 95 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,631 {\an8}No, look, it's a ride that just opened and no one's there. 96 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,177 {\an8}Dad, I don't know about this. 97 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,138 {\an8}It's not on the park map. 98 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,223 {\an8}Lisa, those maps were drawn 99 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,684 {\an8}by the first explorers of this theme park 100 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,269 {\an8}hundreds of years ago. 101 00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:12,603 {\an8}Let's go. 102 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,151 KANG: Assume a sitting position. 103 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,361 KODOS: One seat per human. 104 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,197 Come on, start this thing! I'm not impressed. 105 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,748 This is so fake. 106 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,923 -HOMER: Uh-oh. -ALL: Ooh! 107 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,009 We've left Earth's atmosphere. 108 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,094 Prove it. (squeals) 109 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,224 BART AND LISA: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 110 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,101 Are we there yet? 111 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,146 Welcome, humans. There is nothing to fear. 112 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,023 I am Kang the Abductor. 113 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,067 What the...? This isn't Halloween. 114 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,111 Are we truly in space? And if so, why? 115 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,238 All will be revealed in time, 116 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,032 unsuspecting humans. 117 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,951 Why does the last thing you say sound so ominous? 118 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,455 It's just the way we speak, easily reassured fool. 119 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,624 -(sighing happily) -Oh! Yeah, that's good. 120 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,544 We shall now attend to the complex calculations of hyperspace. 121 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,215 -(chuckling) -(music playing) 122 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,430 Hey, Captain Squid! If you really want to be nice to us, 123 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,848 how about some snacks? 124 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,351 Whatever you say shall materialize. 125 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,686 Potato chips. 126 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,688 ("Blue Danube Waltz" playing) 127 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,567 D'oh! 128 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,777 D'oh! 129 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,532 D'oh! D'oh! 130 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,412 D'oh! D'oh! 131 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,916 D'oh! D'oh! 132 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:59,419 Stupid kid, you ruin every trip! 133 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,550 Hokey Smokes! 134 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,635 I can't survive in these conditions! 135 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,554 Whoa! 136 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,805 (sighs) 137 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,141 Hmm! 138 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,476 (grunts) Hmm! 139 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,812 -(laughs) -Homer, please. 140 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,397 That's creeping me out. 141 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,276 D'oh! 142 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,027 (chuckles) Let me just... 143 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,320 There you are. 144 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,406 Just like new, 145 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,575 not a freak of nature. 146 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:34,203 Wow, look at all these knobs and buttons. 147 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,539 They are clearly a superior race. 148 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,583 But maybe that means they'll be nice to us. 149 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,669 You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans? 150 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,589 -Or the Belgians were to the Congo? -That's right. 151 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:48,009 Pick the only two times in history where things got messy. 152 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:51,596 We have begun our descent to our home planet. 153 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:55,183 Please turn off all portable electronic devices. 154 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,267 Who's gonna stop me? 155 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:59,312 Perhaps you haven't noticed the air marshal. 156 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,691 KODOS: Entering Atmosphere. 157 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,154 Have your cups lost their suck? 158 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,114 Slipped on some drool? 159 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,908 Larry H. Zeeblezorp 160 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,869 will have you rolling in space credits. 161 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:19,415 Wow. This place is completely alien, but everything's in English. 162 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,708 Just like Canada. 163 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,211 -Can I turn my phone on? -KODOS: Not yet. 164 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,880 Now what? 165 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,132 I say we take this bucket home! 166 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,386 -To Earth! -(engine not starting) 167 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,389 Come on. 168 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,183 Come on, you son of a... 169 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,726 Thanks for flooding it. 170 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,354 (engine not starting) 171 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,688 (groans) 172 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,359 Take these pills, and you can breathe our atmosphere. 173 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,860 Are there any side effects? 174 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,030 Yes, I'm afraid you will never develop tentacles. 175 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,032 (groans) 176 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,038 Behold the wonders of our world. 177 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:02,458 Purple landscape, purple trees. 178 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,794 Yeah, you really went with the purple theme. 179 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,129 We can change it at will. 180 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:11,551 Now look upward to see our seven suns. 181 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,512 (gasps) So, you use a lot of solar energy? 182 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,722 We have federal rebates for the panels, 183 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,599 but few take advantage of them. 184 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:24,105 Now we shall show you the sacred mysteries of our life cycle. 185 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,566 Behold, our miracle of birth. 186 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,945 Each birth is followed by another birth just seconds later. 187 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,405 (groans) 188 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,365 (all groaning) 189 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,372 And finally, a sadder slice of our lives. 190 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:45,960 Gaze upon the dead being dumped into a river of their own drool. 191 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,879 (bagpipes playing) 192 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,506 Farewell, dear friends, 193 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,217 on your sacred journey to the chopper-upper. 194 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,304 -Aw. -Why are you sharing all this with us? 195 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,807 Because we want you to fully appreciate the planet... 196 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,101 that you will never leave! 197 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,061 (gasping) 198 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,522 Wait, are you telling me 199 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,191 we're prisoners in this cage? 200 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,863 (bagpipes playing) 201 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,782 Okay, take five. 202 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,204 (dissonant bagpipe chord) 203 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,044 (screeching) 204 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,339 Don't look at them. 205 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,758 You can see those birds any time. 206 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,052 -(meows) -(screams) 207 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,932 {\an8}Right hand red! 208 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,559 {\an8}-Aah! -I win. 209 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,437 {\an8}-I think. -(grunts) 210 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,699 Would you like one of our toys? 211 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,034 Thanks. 212 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,703 Why did you do that? 213 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,288 I thought it was a ball. 214 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,874 That is the one thing it can never be. 215 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,843 (plays instrument out of tune) 216 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,387 Don't be alarmed. 217 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,430 I am a trained humanologist. 218 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,683 Let me just check your heart. 219 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,727 All well and good. You obviously exercise. 220 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,938 -(nasally) See, Marge? -Anything you need? 221 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,816 Perhaps you'd care to have your ink gland expressed. 222 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,235 -You're the doctor. -Homer! 223 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,320 You have to stop dropping your pants 224 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,572 for everyone who claims they're a doctor. 225 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,117 -Fine. -Now, I am here to complete 226 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,078 your knowledge of our great and generous species. 227 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,706 Are you the guy that talks nice before they kill us? 228 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,249 Eh, we'll come back to that. 229 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:52,545 As young thinglings, we are schooled in the wisdom of the universe. 230 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,214 Physics, mathematics, Fortran... 231 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,134 the greatest of the programming languages! 232 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,970 And now the part that is difficult to tell you. 233 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,305 At the end of a life well-lived, 234 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,891 there is one final ritual. 235 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,894 -We must eat one of you. -(all gasp) 236 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,856 But we'll let you have the fun of picking which one. 237 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:14,066 (laughs) 238 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,652 There's only one fair solution. 239 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,238 -We have to put it to a vote. -Before we vote, 240 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,241 I'd just like to point out in Sophie's Choice, she saved the boy. 241 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,788 (humming a tune) 242 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,749 This isn't a happy thing! 243 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,042 Here you go. 244 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,586 Okay. 245 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,379 What the... D'oh! 246 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,215 Well, we haven't heard from Maggie yet. 247 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,717 Now, what the... 248 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,969 (scoffs) Gibberish, pure gibberish. 249 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,054 You're the last vote, Homie. 250 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,225 (groans) 251 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,982 'Tis a far, far better thing I do 252 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,984 than I have ever done before. 253 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,862 Hey, look, Maggie made you a farewell card. 254 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,867 That kid's got talent, but come on! 255 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,328 Now do you see why I'm a vegetarian, Dad? 256 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,829 I get it, Lisa. 257 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,706 I finally get it. 258 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,416 You do get a last meal. 259 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,169 -I'd like rabbit, lots of rabbit. -Ah. 260 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,757 {\an8}Welcome to the World Series of Chomping. 261 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,719 {\an8}This annual consumption ritual is brought to you by scalp salt. 262 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,056 {\an8}From the same wonderful folks who make 263 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,558 {\an8}elbow pepper and groin gravy. 264 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,311 {\an8}Here comes sacrifice Homer Simpson. 265 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,772 {\an8}His hobbies include sitting, lying down, 266 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,066 {\an8}and reaching for things without success. 267 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:40,152 {\an8}Come on, folks, let's put your eyelids together! 268 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,654 {\an8}(eyelids clapping) 269 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,659 {\an8}Doesn't your culture say anything about mercy? 270 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,036 {\an8}Madam, you are speaking to the kindest 271 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,871 {\an8}and gentlest of us all. 272 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,040 {\an8}Let's see-- skull crusher, 273 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:56,961 {\an8}skin peeler, eyeball popper, scream collector... 274 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,672 {\an8}-(gasps) -Got it. 275 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:03,843 {\an8}Our elder Klaunax has been chosen for our ceremonial first bite, 276 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:08,097 {\an8}after which Homer Simpson will be dipped into a spicy cheese fondue. 277 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,306 "Fondue"? 278 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,893 Welcome to a faculty dinner party in 1979. 279 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,813 Silence! And celebrate the Solstice of Slobbering 280 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:19,358 to the sounds of the Rigel 7 Children's Choir. 281 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:22,027 ♪ Tasty creature ♪ 282 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,531 -♪ We salute you ♪ -(all slurp) 283 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:28,242 ♪ For your juicy ♪ 284 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:30,703 ♪ Sacrifice ♪ 285 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,538 (all slurp) 286 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,331 -(groans) -(laughs) 287 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,041 (grunting) 288 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,585 A transporter beam! 289 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,796 Someone is trying to steal our sacrifice. 290 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,881 Yes! 291 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,383 This mysterious tube can only lead to somewhere good. 292 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,719 So long, you stupid slobbering... 293 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,305 What the... (grunting) 294 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,267 And away we go! 295 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,019 (sighs) 296 00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,940 Way to go, George Mucus. 297 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,859 The fattest, stupidest man on Earth 298 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,278 slipped right through your sticky tentacles. 299 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,405 Why, you little... 300 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,700 What is this baffling construct? 301 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,202 -It's called a knot. -A not what? 302 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,122 -"Knot" with a "K." -Ks are silent? 303 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:18,208 Really? I've been saying kitchen. 304 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,877 -That's correct. -BOTH: Huh? 305 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,796 -(Homer gasps) -MALE: Do not fear. 306 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,423 You are among friends. 307 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,133 We are the resistance. 308 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,720 We don't believe in the barbaric consumption of other species. 309 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,305 So, what do you eat-- space broccoli? 310 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,933 Space broccoli has the most advanced feelings 311 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,643 of any creature in the universe. 312 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:39,521 I stepped on a piece once, and it cried for six years. 313 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,941 Frankly, they are a little full of themselves. 314 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,069 -Who are you talking about? -Um, Earth broccoli. 315 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:48,155 Yeah, I hate those guys. They think they're so big. 316 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,658 {\an8}-Let's go, Homer. -Where are you taking me? 317 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,911 {\an8}You are about to behold the secret rebel base. 318 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,746 {\an8}♪ ♪ 319 00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,833 Aah! 320 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,251 -Whee! -Yeah! 321 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,628 Why are they dancing? 322 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,254 Shouldn't they be making weapons? 323 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,923 This is excellent training 324 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,968 for the party we will throw when our rebellion succeeds. 325 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,056 -(music stops) -MALE: Oh, turn the music back on. 326 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,975 In a minute! 327 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,727 First, noble human Homer Simpson 328 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:22,564 will explain his primitive yet beautiful culture. 329 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,400 (bird caws) 330 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:28,153 But perhaps Earth's greatest achievement is moon rocks. 331 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,823 Oh, and the golden age of radio. 332 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:31,991 (all oohing) 333 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,369 Truly a species with much to offer. 334 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,413 MALE: Seriously? Are we listening to the same guy? 335 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,497 Silence! 336 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,916 Homer, we will get you back to Earth. 337 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,127 -What about my family? -Why do you care? 338 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,754 It's just your sex mate and spermlings. 339 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,924 "Sex mate"? (laughs) Clearly you've never been married. 340 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,509 But it's great, I'm telling you. 341 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,889 Unfortunately, we only had the means to build the spaceship for one. 342 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,183 We spent most of our money on the party. 343 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,477 Well, it is a great party. 344 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,564 {\an8}The pod is equipped to fulfill your deepest desires. 345 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:04,898 {\an8}Just concentrate. 346 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,242 Suddenly, this trip has gotten interesting. 347 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,871 {\an8}(gasps) 348 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:19,997 {\an8}What the... 349 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,498 {\an8}Oh, who am I kidding? 350 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,251 {\an8}I couldn't enjoy calorie one without my family. 351 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,170 {\an8}I'm going back to save them! 352 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:29,840 {\an8}Aw, if I could just live inside that head, 353 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:32,760 {\an8}so full of noble thoughts. 354 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,596 (growls, grunting) 355 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:40,768 The golden rule states if the chosen one escapes, 356 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,103 his family is eaten as forfeit. 357 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,564 What do your rules say now? 358 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,233 -That all will be eaten. -D'oh! 359 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,112 This system is really rigged against us. 360 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,157 (Bart and Marge groan) 361 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,034 You forgot to glaze me. 362 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,952 No, I didn't. You licked it off! 363 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:03,040 I think somebody's afraid to admit he's out of glaze. 364 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,917 (groans) 365 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,133 -Glaze, please. -(growls) 366 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,220 Make way for the queen! 367 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,309 I shall take the first bite. 368 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,061 It is quite an honor. 369 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,729 (whimpering) What's that? 370 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,689 Part of your magnificent behind. 371 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,650 We sliced it off when you were sleeping. 372 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,568 It does look delicious. 373 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,370 (gasps) What is it, my queen? 374 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:45,082 This ass is most disagreeable. 375 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,583 (gurgles) 376 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:52,589 The creatures are composed of completely indigestible toxins. 377 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,010 These humans have been poisoned 378 00:18:57,094 --> 00:19:00,097 by their unhealthy fast-food diet. 379 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,183 Um, are you sure you don't want to try me again? 380 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,145 You? Your lunches of hummus and rice cakes 381 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,690 combine in your stomach to form formaldehyde and animal fat. 382 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,191 Really? But I thought... 383 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,361 You'd be better off chewing tobacco like the boy. 384 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,280 -What?! -Dad said I could try it. 385 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,531 Homer! 386 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:20,909 Don't you people realize your queen is dying? 387 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,913 {\an8}I'm afraid the lardo speaks the truth, Your Majesty. 388 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,206 {\an8}It's all right. 389 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,918 {\an8}I have seen many glories and have only one regret. 390 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,545 {\an8}That my breasts aren't bigger. 391 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,963 I don't see any breasts. 392 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:37,759 {\an8}And those will be the last words I ever hear. 393 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,636 {\an8}(grunts) 394 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,138 Useless humans! 395 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,933 We will send you back to your planet, and your memories will fade. 396 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,645 {\an8}So, it will be as if none of this ever happened! 397 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:56,320 Captain's log, stardate 65848.2. 398 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:59,323 After successfully conquering the Rigelians... 399 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,908 Right, "conquering." 400 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,784 Well, at least Maggie can fly us home. 401 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,037 Thank God it's just like her busy box. 402 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,917 {\an8}Well, I guess we've learned 403 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,502 {\an8}that of all the countless planets in the universe, 404 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:16,381 {\an8}we have evolved into the most inedible species. 405 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,675 Like three-bean salad at a barbecue, 406 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,136 we will remain untouched. 407 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,806 We're receiving a transmission from an unknown source. 408 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,604 Hey, I finally tracked you down! 409 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,606 My oatmeal's gone cold. 410 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,524 The cat ate my heart medicine. 411 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,360 -I'm engaged to my nurse... -Set a course, Mr. Maggie. 412 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,986 Anywhere but home. 413 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,995 {\an8}HOMER: D'oh! 414 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,373 {\an8}(Star Trek theme playing) 415 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,960 Subtitled by A. Vandelay