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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'oh!
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(tires screeching)
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(grunts)
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(whirring)
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Mmm. Paper jam.
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Okay, Dad, I'm ready for
Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
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{\an8}How come there's never
a Take Your Son to Work Day?
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{\an8}'Cause boys are already on track
to get all the good jobs.
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{\an8}The Dirty Dozen? All guys.
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{\an8}Twelve Angry Men? Uh, men!
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{\an8}The X-Men?
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{\an8}Mostly men.
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{\an8}-Good one, Dad.
-Yeah.
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{\an8}Well, despite all that,
today's going to be fun, Dad!
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{\an8}Will there be lots
of other girls there?
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{\an8}Just a few. For some reason,
there's been a lot
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{\an8}of infertility
at the nuclear plant.
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After we show you the wealth
of jobs in the steno pool,
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{\an8}a hearty luncheon of bison
with lake beaver will be served.
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{\an8}GIRLS:
Ew!
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{\an8}And upon leaving,
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{\an8}you will each receive
a piece of orangewood
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{\an8}to bite down on during childbirth.
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{\an8}(chuckles)
Excellent.
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{\an8}(person applauds)
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{\an8}It's getting harder
and harder
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{\an8}to maintain my sunny disposition,
Smithers.
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{\an8}Oh, you're always
my ray of...
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{\an8}Shut up.
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{\an8}Dad, what does that do?
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{\an8}-I don't know.
-Who's that guy?
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{\an8}-I don't know.
-Where do those pipes lead?
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{\an8}Not sure.
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{\an8}Is it called the cooling tower
because there's...
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{\an8}-Not my department.
-How many kilowatts are...?
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{\an8}Look, sweetie,
would you like to go
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{\an8}to the cafeteria
and get some ice cream?
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{\an8}-How many kinds are there?
-Twelve.
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{\an8}Curse that Elon Musk!
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{\an8}Thanks to that Earth-smooching
buttinski,
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{\an8}I'm on the verge of bankruptcy.
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{\an8}All I have left
are the clothes on my back
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{\an8}and the clones in my freezer.
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{\an8}43 is missing again.
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{\an8}I had to replace my beloved hounds
with teacup poodles.
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{\an8}It's pathetic. Watch.
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{\an8}Release the hounds.
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{\an8}(barking)
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{\an8}(chuckling)
Aw.
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{\an8}No. Help. Oh, stop.
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{\an8}Oh, spare me.
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{\an8}And all I got from Mr. Musk
was an electric car,
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{\an8}which I charge by stealing power
from my nosy neighbor.
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{\an8}Hey, dippily-do, neighbor-oni!
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{\an8}Stupid Branson.
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{\an8}But I have a new scheme
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{\an8}that will undo the terrible damage
done by my other schemes.
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I have an appointment
with a Nigerian King
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to negotiate a uranium deal
that will put me right back on top.
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Nothing can stop you, sir.
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But, uh, not that you're not
at the top of your game.
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Uh, what if you
don't get the deal?
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I'll just have
to sell everything
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and move
to the South Pacific with you.
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What a grim fate
that would be.
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And with your omelet,
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would you like the fried potatoes
or the mixed berries?
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I'll have the berries.
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Ah.
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A terrible fate indeed, sir.
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Oh, no. My almond milk
leaked all over everything.
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Dad, do you have anything
I can eat?
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Hmm?
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Oh, uh, I will turn this corn chip
into a wonderful meal,
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using my greatest skill--
lunchroom trading!
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Shut your eyes.
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("The Thieving Magpie"
by Rossini plays)
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Pretty impressive, Homer.
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But what about
the presentation?
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The eyes taste first, then lips,
then palate.
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Then the body's harshest critic--
the colon.
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(Rossini's "Thieving Magpie" plays)
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Okay, sweetie,
open those baby blacks.
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(gasps)
Wow, Dad.
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(giggles)
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Thank you. Ooh.
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Welcome, Your Majesty.
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Mr. Burns, I don't know
what you have heard,
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but I do not eat monkey brains
from a skull.
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Oh, this is for me.
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Before we begin,
I have a favor to ask.
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My daughter is traveling with me.
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Hello.
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She is my true treasure.
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During our complicated
negotiations,
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I need someone
to look after her,
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keep her out of trouble.
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Hmm.
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That man is the perfect choice.
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What?!
Sir, that's Homer Simpson.
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You forgot that
he's the most incompetent...
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(both laughing)
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Homer Simpson
would be perfect.
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Simpson, all you have to do
is babysit the princess--
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keeping her in this hotel room
during the negotiations.
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Babysitting, eh?
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What do I know about kids?
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Homer Simpson, I give you
Princess Kemi of Nigeria!
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Watch that girl like a hawk.
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(screams)
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Princess, why'd you put on
that coat?
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You're obviously cold.
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May I escort you
to the radiator?
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No. I want to go out.
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I'm 25 years old.
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(phone ringing)
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Uh, just a second.
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Hey, Marge.
Yeah, I'm working late.
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Yup, special project.
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Lenny said you
were babysitting,
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and if you are babysitting,
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why can't you do some at home?
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I could use a night out.
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Sorry, Marge,
but I am the royal babysitter.
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If I start watching commoners,
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the tongues of the court
will be awag.
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Really? Awag?
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Really?
Well, if you think that...
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-(beeps off)
-I want to go out
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and see the America
whose greatest cities
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I've only seen
destroyed in movies.
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I see. You want excitement.
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Princess, have you ever heard of
Studio 54, CBGBs, the Roxbury?
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Yes! I've dreamed of...
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All gone.
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But in their place, we have
500 channels of television.
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All awesome.
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Sit down, and I'll show you.
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So, all these concubines belong
to this one tyrant?
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He's called "The Bachelor."
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Please let me go out.
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All right, Princess.
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I'll take you to a place
that's fun with a capital "F."
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(grunting)
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Moe, this is Kemi.
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She's an honest-to-God princess.
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Ah, really?
Hey, tell me something.
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I heard that Queen Elizabeth in person
is actually not that funny.
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I am from Africa.
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Wow, Africa.
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I had a good friend
who really wanted to go there.
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So, uh, you speak
English there?
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I speak five languages.
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(sputters)
Nobody does.
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(speaking Portuguese)
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(speaking French)
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(speaking Spanish)
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(speaking Japanese)
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Uh, which means what?
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"I don't wish to show off."
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Yeah, that's pretty good there,
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uh, but don't expect me
to bow and scrape.
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Uh, well,
I'll give you one scrape.
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Yeah, that's it, Majesty.
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Notice I didn't say "Your."
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(laughs)
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Oh, they don't make them
like you in Nigeria.
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Nigeria?
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Homer, can I speak to you
in private?
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(grunting)
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Can I try it?
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Ah, you got to be mad
at something.
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Well, I'm mad I'm not doing it.
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Okay, I'll tell you why I'm mad.
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A few months back,
I got an unsolicited e-mail
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from an actual Nigerian prince.
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♪ ♪
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The prince needed to transfer
$40 million out of the country.
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He offered to split that with me
181
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,187
if I paid the five grand
for the transfer fees.
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HOMER:
And you gave it to him?
183
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MOE:
Yeah, I did.
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I was sure the guy
was on the level
185
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,485
because of his bad spelling
and grammar.
186
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Now, guess how much
of the $20 million I saw?
187
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-$8 million?
-Ze-ro.
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Get out of here!
189
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,123
If Kemi there
is a Nigerian princess,
190
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,751
her brother just might be
the Nigerian prince
191
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that took my money!
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Listen, Moe, I'm Kemi's guardian.
193
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,967
She and I are going back
to the hotel now!
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(gasps)
She's gone!
195
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,097
And she trashed my bar!
196
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,099
Oh, no, wait.
She actually cleaned up a little bit.
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Yeah, good for her.
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(panting)
Chief, thank God!
199
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:47,860
I was drinking at Moe's,
and I lost an African princess!
200
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,946
Lost African princess, eh?
201
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,781
Well,
lucky for you, she just happens
202
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,783
to be in the back of my cruiser.
203
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,536
Yes! The prayer I forgot to say
has been answered.
204
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,122
What the...?
205
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,792
You're going straight
to the drunk tank, rummy.
206
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,961
"African princess."
207
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,587
(distant gunshots)
208
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,799
Chief, I just saw someone
robbin' the Kwik-E-Mart!
209
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,511
Oh, now African princesses
are robbing the Kwik-E-Mart, huh?
210
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,763
Get in the car, booze bag.
211
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,932
Chief, I have been shot
in the shoulder!
212
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,475
In the car!
213
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,727
What is this, St. Patrick's Day?
214
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,312
Why, this is terrible.
215
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,773
Can't even think of anything
to mumble to myself.
216
00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,817
That's how upset I am here.
217
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,945
Hello. First of all,
I wanted to pay.
218
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:34,907
Also... maybe...
I wanted to talk more to you?
219
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,367
Really?
220
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,912
Okay there, Moe,
you got to get to the brother,
221
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,582
because he knows what
my PIN number is, and I forgot.
222
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,000
Yeah, duly noted.
223
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,628
Uh, so, Your Tootsieness,
tell me about your family.
224
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,797
Got any aunts, uncles,
cousins, sisters...
225
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,299
brothers?
226
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,134
I have a brother.
Yes. One.
227
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,719
I see.
228
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,804
Now, Moe,
don't jump to conclusions.
229
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,556
A lot of people have brothers.
230
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,266
-Does he have a computer?
-Yes.
231
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,809
MOE: It's him!
232
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,144
HOMER:
Guys,
233
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,812
thanks for bailing me out,
234
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,439
but I still have
a huge problem.
235
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:07,940
Well, till we find her,
236
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,818
maybe we could get somebody
to pretend to be her.
237
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,613
You know, get a nice wig
and a dress.
238
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:17,283
Oh, no, I am not dressing up
like an African princess.
239
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:20,411
I am not! I am not! I am not!
240
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,997
Thank you for listening
to my objections.
241
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,415
Well,
you were really vehement.
242
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,708
(phone ringing)
243
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,668
Uh, hello, Simpson.
Just checking up.
244
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,337
May I speak
with the princess?
245
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,130
Um, yeah, sure. Uh...
246
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,965
(high-pitched Southern accent)
Hello, this is the princess.
247
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:37,345
I'm with Homer Simpson,
and I do declare he's wonderful.
248
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,847
Oh, that's right,
I'm from South Africa.
249
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,599
Fiddle-dee-dee.
250
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,727
Well, sounds like everything's
going just the way I want it.
251
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,730
Yeah, so all my money's
tied up in this "jernt."
252
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,607
Can't even afford
elocution lessons
253
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,776
to teach me how
to pronounce "joint."
254
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:54,487
I guess I could do it online,
but, uh, what's the "pernt"?
255
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,571
(laughs)
256
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,989
What-What's so funny?
257
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,283
I thought my English
was perfect,
258
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,827
but you make me feel
even better about it.
259
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,037
(chuckles)
260
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,082
Eh, usually people that tease me
get thrown out on their ass.
261
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,459
But, uh, your sayin' it
made me feel good.
262
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,212
Geez, I sound like one
of those guys in them rom coms
263
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,924
that play at the theaters
next to the theater I'm in. Heh.
264
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:19,011
So, uh, what's a "princessess"
like you, uh, do all day, huh?
265
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,264
A lot of spinning wheels
and witches treating you like crap?
266
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,475
I read. Are you familiar
with the books
267
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,477
by my countryman Chinua Achebe,
268
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,021
Things Fall Apart and No Longer At Ease?
269
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,857
Hey, you guys got real
optimistic literature there.
270
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,610
(giggles)
Fair comment.
271
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,905
(yawns)
I haven't eaten all day.
272
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,032
Well, don't eat those eggs!
Uh, we don't know
273
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,701
what kind of bird
they turn into.
274
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,744
But there's
a string cheese or something
275
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,455
in the fridge in the back.
Uh, help yourself.
276
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,375
All right, after she eats,
I'd better close up.
277
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:52,169
(yawns)
Oh. Come on, pal.
278
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,341
(grunts)
Come on.
279
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,177
That's really stuck there good.
280
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:07,226
Ah, I can't be mad
at her no more.
281
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,488
Good night, moon.
282
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,198
Good night, broom.
283
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,118
Good night, jukebox
that won't play a tune.
284
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,453
Good night, eggs.
285
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,954
Good night, dregs.
286
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,707
Good night, bugs
crawlin' up my legs.
287
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,293
Good night, beer.
Good night, mice.
288
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,463
Good night, princess
who treats me nice.
289
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,881
Yeah.
290
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,967
(yawns)
291
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:47,558
So my offer
for one ton of your uranium
292
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:48,726
is a goat.
293
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,227
Will you stop offering me that?
294
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,980
I come from a modern nation
of 90 million people.
295
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,566
-Two goats.
-You are starting to insult me.
296
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,193
All right,
let's cut to the chase.
297
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,821
My board has given me permission
to go up to 12 goats.
298
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,823
(grumbles)
299
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,704
-How about here, sir?
-Looks good to me.
300
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,207
I'm so sorry
I pretended not to be gay
301
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,875
for all those years.
302
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,045
Well, better an old queen
than never a queen at all.
303
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,463
(chuckles)
304
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,343
Pay attention.
My last offer:
305
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,844
20 million goats.
306
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,722
Okay, but no dogs
disguised as goats.
307
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,058
Oh, great,
here comes the haggling.
308
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,478
Well, well, look who's up. Heh.
309
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,605
Uh, Princess, I'm gonna
do something for you
310
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:38,108
I've never done for anyone in this bar.
Call you a cab.
311
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,653
No. I want to spend time with you.
312
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,279
I want to see this town.
313
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,240
Do you mind
ridin' a cute little scooter
314
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,825
with your arms around my waist?
315
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,076
I don't.
316
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,661
To the scooter store.
317
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,580
♪ ♪
318
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:09,348
And after you eat the soup,
you can eat the bowl
319
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,808
or you can put "kerns" in it.
320
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,143
What, uh, whatever you like.
321
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,649
I have a confession to make.
322
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:20,651
This is my first montage.
323
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,863
Just relax and enjoy the music.
324
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,866
Moe Szyslak.
325
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,951
This is the part of the fairy tale
326
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,245
where the princess
goes back to the hotel
327
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,955
and watches TV.
328
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,540
Come with me.
329
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,835
So where are we headed, dude?
330
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,295
Just go and go fast.
331
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,881
Okay, um,
usually I do kind of a funny take
332
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,425
on an airline pilot
greeting the passengers.
333
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,511
You know, like,
"Hey. Thank you for flying Air Kevin.
334
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,180
If you look out to the left
of the pedicab, you..."
335
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,473
Just move the pedals.
336
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,517
Whoa, sounds like the tower
337
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,228
has cleared us for takeoff.
338
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,981
We're tryin' to escape that guy.
339
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,734
Well, dude, as long as he can run,
he can beat us.
340
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,068
D'oh!
341
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,865
So, anyways, the place that
I really feel the pedaling?
342
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,158
It's my legs.
343
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,784
Okay, all right, we're safe.
344
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,245
Actually,
I wanted to go back with him.
345
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,623
I don't want to get
my father mad, O.
346
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,666
Go back? But I didn't
show you the place
347
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,710
where Dave Grohl got mugged.
348
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,172
I have to leave,
but I still had a wonderful day.
349
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,799
MOE: Thank God I shaved
my forehead this morning.
350
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,176
-(shutter clicks)
-(gasps)
351
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,303
A paparazzo?
Please don't send that.
352
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:32,097
If my father sees it,
it will ruin my life.
353
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,683
Well, thanks for making it so easy.
354
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,446
And you have
the 20 million goats?
355
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,697
Two, now.
356
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,242
19,999,998
357
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,702
on delivery.
358
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,996
-Very good.
-Um, shouldn't we
359
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,414
see how the princess is doing
360
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,166
before you sign,
Your Majesty?
361
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,793
What are you talking about,
Smithers?
362
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,002
(phone dings)
363
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,089
(gasps)
I can't even trust you
364
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,883
to watch an impetuous adult
who does what she wants?
365
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,219
The deal is off.
366
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,471
SMITHERS: Wow.
After spending my life serving others,
367
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,640
I'm finally gonna get what I want.
368
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,392
Uh, sir, there may be a bright side.
369
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,227
There's never a bright side.
370
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,063
SMITHERS:
(chuckles) He's almost mine.
371
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,570
Yes, you've torn that up,
all right.
372
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,447
Father, I want to explain.
373
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,409
I was a young woman
who wanted to see the world,
374
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,828
and this kind man
has shown it to me.
375
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,663
And stolen your heart.
376
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,248
Eh, well, that's what I do.
377
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,292
Uh, sorry, but there ain't
no off switch for this.
378
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,715
(laughs)
He has not stolen my heart.
379
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,967
Wha?!
380
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,262
Why has he made the ancient
tribal sound of confusion?
381
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,931
I think he is a sweet,
sweet man.
382
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,641
But when I kissed him
on the forehead,
383
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,101
it was not romantic.
384
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,270
More like when
Snow White kissed Dopey.
385
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:04,523
Oh, no, no,
not this comparison again.
386
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,026
I'm sorry, Moe.
I don't love you.
387
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,112
But I really like you.
388
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:13,240
Well, daughter, even though
you have done nothing seriously wrong,
389
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,868
first I will tear this contract
one more time.
390
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,119
(grunts)
391
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,913
And as for you,
your punishment will be...
392
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,499
Uh, may I speak to you,
Majesty,
393
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,043
father to father?
394
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,254
A woman has allowed you
to sire her children?
395
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,798
There was beer involved.
I have two daughters.
396
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,093
And I've learned you have
to let them go their own way.
397
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,887
Even the one-year-old.
398
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,182
Majesty.
399
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:41,351
And the older one,
I can't tell her what to do.
400
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,353
-And she's only 12.
-Eight.
401
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,272
See what I mean?
Always an argument.
402
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,775
Hmm.
403
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,651
But the thing you
have to remember is
404
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,820
that you have to let
them be who they are
405
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,822
because you love them.
406
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,199
I am not convinced.
407
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:58,619
Uh, because you
want them to grow.
408
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,162
Still not convinced.
409
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:03,123
Then because you can't
strangle a girl.
410
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,792
That makes sense.
411
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,960
-Oh...
-Come here, Daughter.
412
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,629
Oh, Father.
413
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,714
Little girl, let me
give you some advice.
414
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,592
Never dream big, because
it will blow up in your face.
415
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:14,885
You're talking to the girl
416
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,720
who wants a career in jazz.
417
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,056
Oh, poor thing.
418
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,058
So the good king's
cheap uranium will
419
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,185
allow me to sell you
expensive nuclear power.
420
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,895
Everyone wins.
421
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,230
Yes, yes. Princess.
422
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,982
Can you tell us about
the man you kissed?
423
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,360
Uh, yeah, I'll field that.
424
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,153
Uh, yesterday,
a local man
425
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,531
"may or may not"
have given a tour
426
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,826
to a certain princess,
who, uh, one assumes,
427
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,536
turned all his thoughts
of revenge
428
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,996
to love and then
love to respect.
429
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,998
And yesterday,
a certain princess
430
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,835
may or may not have seen
much of your world
431
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,253
with a certain man,
432
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,339
and she certainly
might be eternally grateful.
433
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,843
Oh, this is vague stuff.
Vague stuff!
434
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,848
I did not think this through.
435
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,892
Moe, before I left,
436
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,894
I just wanted to give you
these examples
437
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:09,982
of our most beloved,
albeit depressing, literature.
438
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,192
Ah, some nice bedtime readin'.
439
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,652
Fun premise.
440
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,280
I'm laughing already.
441
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,323
Really not
cheerin' me up here,
442
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,409
but, uh, let me offer you
the only literature
443
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,036
in this bar--
sure works for me, though.
444
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,788
This coaster.
445
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,957
I will treasure it.
446
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,590
Well, I guess you'll pine forever
447
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,216
for a man who doesn't care,
448
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,886
while I just grow old
here in this bar.
449
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,430
Yeah.
Here's to suffering in silence.
450
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,686
Oh.
451
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,816
Mm. Can't wait to see those numbers
hanging from my rafters.
452
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,487
(sighs)
I can't believe it's been
453
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,323
three years since Smithers left.
454
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,325
Man, have I been aging badly.
455
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:04,786
But I guess I can finally
wash this forehead.
456
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,247
Oh, divine.
457
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,712
(doorbell ringing)
458
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,548
Oh, God, what do you want?
459
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,550
Well, neighbor, now that
your streak of rum luck
460
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,220
is at its end,
I have a favor to ask.
461
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,638
It involves charity.
462
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,892
I've set up
the Virgin Earth Challenge,
463
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,560
a $25 million prize
464
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,229
to eliminate
greenhouse gases,
465
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,814
that I was hoping
you would add to.
466
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,775
Where are the hounds
when I need them?
467
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:38,362
They're on a free Virgin Galactic flight
around the world.
468
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:41,657
Can you go five blasted minutes
without saying the word "virgin"?
469
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,077
That's another Virgin Challenge
that I will not be Virgin taking.
470
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,662
Virgin.
471
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
472
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by B. Everdene