1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,339 {\an8}-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ -(crow caws) 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,466 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,843 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,220 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 5 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,472 (squeaking) 6 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,476 (belches) 7 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,735 {\an8}(electrical crackling) 8 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,238 {\an8}Lewis, my man. Present table's over there. 9 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,656 {\an8}(barks) 10 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,700 {\an8}Make sure you hit the Squishee station. 11 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:37,120 {\an8}They mixed up a custom flavor just for me! 12 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,040 {\an8}(kids chattering playfully, laughing) 13 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,628 {\an8}These kids' birthday parties have gotten out of control. 14 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,756 {\an8}How can a normal family compete? 15 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,340 {\an8}They rented chairs. 16 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,509 {\an8}The kind with puffy seats! 17 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,553 {\an8}And check out this gift bag. 18 00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:55,472 {\an8}Full-size candy bars, 19 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,724 {\an8}hummingbird in a plastic bag, 20 00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,435 {\an8}a CD of The Gay Men's Chorus of Springfield 21 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,854 {\an8}singing "Happy Birthday, Milhouse." 22 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:06,274 {\an8}Dad, I want self-driving mini-cars at my next birthday! 23 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,401 {\an8}To the petting zoo! 24 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,403 {\an8}That would cost a fortune! 25 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,989 {\an8}Who do you think I am, a professional bowler? 26 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,743 {\an8}It's worth it to see my son 27 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:20,497 {\an8}as spoiled and ungrateful as the richest brat in town. 28 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,665 {\an8}Dad, you were supposed to cut this cheese 29 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,918 {\an8}in the shape of Pokémon characters. 30 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,462 You said you wanted Disney's Muppets! 31 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,048 That was the meeting before the last meeting! 32 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,925 -(grunts) -(sighs) 33 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:35,011 This birthday party arms race is unsustainable. 34 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:39,224 Unless... the sanest man in town declared war on these parties 35 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:42,018 in a last best attempt to bring things back to normal. 36 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,105 I will secretly destroy these children's birthdays, 37 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,898 or die trying. 38 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,161 {\an8}Two of... several animals! 39 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,122 {\an8}Looks like it's time to build me an ark. 40 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,000 {\an8}Rice cakes?! 41 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,669 {\an8}I pronounce this party dead. 42 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,170 {\an8}Nurse, note the time. 43 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,630 {\an8}(chuckles) 44 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:13,633 {\an8}(tires squeak) 45 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,469 (hums, sings) 46 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,346 Time to make 50 bucks. 47 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,764 ♪ Yah-dah, dah-dat... ♪ 48 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,307 Ooh! 49 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,476 {\an8}-(children shrieking, gasping) -Look at that. 50 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,562 {\an8}Let's see what else is in the noose. 51 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,188 {\an8}(laughing like Krusty) 52 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:31,025 {\an8}I was the last kid on Earth who liked clowns. 53 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,361 {\an8}-(hums) -Homer Simpson, 54 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,447 {\an8}do you know anything about these epic birthday fails? 55 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,116 {\an8}(high-pitched voice) Just what I read in the papers. 56 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,035 {\an8}You did suck the helium out of all these balloons! 57 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,787 {\an8}(high-pitched voice) All right, Marge, maybe I did cut the strings 58 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,165 {\an8}on a few party hats, but when I was a kid, 59 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,625 {\an8}a birthday party was nothing more than a supermarket cake 60 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,669 {\an8}and sticking pins in a donkey's butt. 61 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:50,712 {\an8}(clears throat) 62 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,755 {\an8}(normal voice) And we looked forward to it 63 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,216 {\an8}for one whole year. 64 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,718 {\an8}And the gift bag was 65 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,469 {\an8}you didn't need a frickin' gift bag, 66 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,431 {\an8}because you just went to a frickin' party! 67 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,682 {\an8}You have a point. 68 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,559 {\an8}But when the bounce house renters 69 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:07,687 {\an8}and the pony ride operators find out what you've done... 70 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:08,980 {\an8}Mm.... 71 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:12,567 {\an8}(scoffs) I'm not afraid of Big Birthday. 72 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,112 (shrieks) Big Birthday! 73 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,869 You have meddled with the primal forces of nurture, 74 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:26,289 Mr. Simpson, and I won't have it! 75 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,917 Do you think you just stopped a few lavish parties? 76 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,001 Oh, no, sir. 77 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:34,047 There is simply one endless birthday celebration 78 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,466 where everyone gets a gift bag 79 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,552 and no parent gets off easy. 80 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,763 Do you think this country makes cars anymore? 81 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,640 Do you think we smelt steel? 82 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,808 No. The only thing we do 83 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,436 is throw elaborate children's cotillions 84 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,355 with enormous inedible cakes 85 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,983 out from whence Yale graduates pop! 86 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:56,653 ALL: Eh. 87 00:03:56,736 --> 00:04:00,823 Mr. Simpson, the very fabric of our existence is birthdays! 88 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,660 The quarks and bosons of your soul? 89 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,119 Birthdays! 90 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,706 You have tried to unwind the world, 91 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,918 and you... will... atone! 92 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,878 -Sorry. -You will be sorry. 93 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:17,131 We are officially blacklisting you, my friend. 94 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:20,677 Your children will never have a balloon animal maker 95 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,888 or customized cake again! 96 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,015 BOTH: (gasp) No! 97 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,892 (crying) No-oh-oh-oh! 98 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,895 I don't want to live. 99 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,147 Not their birthdays! Take Easter! 100 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,066 Easter's nothing. 101 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,026 Geez, kids, 102 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,070 I guess you've had your last birthday. 103 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:42,615 You're gonna stay your current ages for the rest of your lives. 104 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,325 Please. I'll do anything. 105 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,535 All right. 106 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,913 The next birthday that comes up in this town is, uh, 107 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,665 Rod Flanders, 108 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:53,918 and you have to throw him a party. 109 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,044 (groans) Oh. 110 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,463 Um, how bad do you kids want birthdays? 111 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,673 Dad! 112 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,426 How bad do you want to sleep in Saturdays? 113 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,719 (banging loudly) 114 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,470 Hey, hey, hey, I was just kidding around. 115 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,723 You know that. I was just... 116 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,017 -You have a deal. -Let me make this clear. 117 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,769 This event has to be magical. 118 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,814 -You mean, hire a magician? -No, no, no. Magical. 119 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:19,152 Magical events change people's lives forever. 120 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,073 {\an8}(plane sputtering) 121 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,999 Welcome to Rod Flanders' birthday party. 122 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,461 I'm your host Homer Simpson, and I can't take it anymore! 123 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,088 Stupid golden age of flight! 124 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,050 Mmm. I love you, mean neighbor! 125 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,926 MAN (over P.A.): Attention partygoers! 126 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,847 Prepare for the arrival of our guest of honor... Lulu! 127 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:51,434 This majestic B-17 has been lovingly restored 128 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,394 by the same World War II veterans 129 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:57,106 who see her every night in their horrible flashbacks. 130 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,571 Thanks for coming out and... 131 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,740 Abe Simpson?! 132 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:12,246 That's Mach Ridley, my old Air Force buddy! 133 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,873 You said you were in the Army. 134 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,500 You said you were in the Navy. 135 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,502 That's the kind of mix-up that used to happen 136 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,337 when I was in the Marines. 137 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,423 So, what brings you boys to Springfield? 138 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,051 Uh, we just want to make sure kids have a chance 139 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,844 to meet one of the lovely ladies 140 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,846 that brought freedom to the world. 141 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,432 Why are planes and boats always women? 142 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,393 Because they require a lot of upkeep 143 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,645 and a firm hand at the controls. 144 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,688 I knew there'd be a sexist joke behind it. 145 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:38,731 I knew it! 146 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,483 Abe, can you join us for a drink? 147 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,692 I'm sorry, guys. 148 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,320 My dad can't handle that much excitement. 149 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,156 Please, son. I want to gab about the days 150 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,951 when nurses kissed ya instead of beating ya. 151 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,912 Now, Dad, memory lane's not what it used to be. 152 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,539 If you hang out with your old buddies, 153 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:58,126 it'll remind you of when you were a proud stallion 154 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,753 instead of a broken-down nag. 155 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,256 (neighs sadly, sputters) 156 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,925 That's the lack of spirit. 157 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,803 (whimpers) 158 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,389 Look at how he treats his own father. 159 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,474 Like we used to treat P.O.W.s 160 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,518 when the Red Cross wasn't looking. 161 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:16,894 (laughter) 162 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:20,064 Boys, I think we have one last mission. 163 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,899 (mechanical whirring) 164 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,612 Make a wish, Roddy. 165 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,739 I'll never grow up and marry Daddy! 166 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,324 (laughter) 167 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,826 (Dutch accent) Very amusing. 168 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,830 Whoa! 169 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,332 I've seen all I need to see. 170 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,042 But just in case, the face. 171 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,420 -Oh! -May I chuckle in Dutch? 172 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,754 (chuckles) 173 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,841 Bart, meet my cousin from the Netherlands, Annika. 174 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,342 Isn't she gorgeous? 175 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,720 (laughs) 176 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,763 Whoa! You smoke? 177 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,891 It's an e-cigarette. 178 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,310 Care to vape? 179 00:07:57,393 --> 00:08:00,062 Don't you want to be one of the cool kinderen? 180 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,773 (inhaling) 181 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,736 (coughing, gasping) 182 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,991 (snorts) Refreshing. 183 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:14,410 (knocking) 184 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,538 Hey, look at you guys, still not dead. 185 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,664 Good for you. 186 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,625 Mister, we're gonna pound your thick skull 187 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,543 till you treat your father with the kindness 188 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,253 every human being deserves. 189 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,672 (scoffs) Do your worst, you old goats. 190 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,927 This won't be a tropical vacation like Iwo Jima. 191 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,095 It's you and me, Blubber McGee. 192 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,847 -Ha! -(muttering) 193 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,725 (muttering) Oh. 194 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,977 -(grunting) -(laughs) 195 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,648 (panting) 196 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,274 (grunts) 197 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,361 -You done girly punching? -Yes. 198 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,452 (laughs) Once again, I win at Sjoelbak. 199 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,329 Everybody's got one gift. 200 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:02,124 Mine is portable indoor Dutch shuffleboard. 201 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,168 (humming) 202 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,797 Bart, I'm out of cartridges. 203 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,550 Be my little almond cookie and run down to the Kwik-E-Mart. 204 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,927 Hup, hup. You can kiss me. 205 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,762 (squeaking) 206 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,931 Oh, that felt so good. 207 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,684 Now you know what nuzzling me would be like. 208 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,435 Now not so good. 209 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,562 (whistles) 210 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,730 -Five packs of e-cigs, Apu. -E-cigs? 211 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,857 Although legal for children in this state, 212 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,902 you are asking for a nicotine delivery device 213 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,946 that could quite possibly leave you breathing 214 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,281 through a hole in your neck. 215 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,700 Eat your spinach, Bart. 216 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,578 ELECTRONIC VOICE: Ha, ha, ha, ha! 217 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,204 Ay, carumba! 218 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,456 Cool! I was just doing this for a girl, 219 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,458 but give me two more packs for myself. 220 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:48,254 Oh, you have the right, but remember, this is not kid stuff. 221 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,923 Now, would you like bubblegum flavor, strawberry shortcake, 222 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,675 or watermelon dream? 223 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,719 Homer, you're late! 224 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,388 In the Air Force, when we showed up late, people died. 225 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,807 When we showed up on time, other people died. 226 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:00,975 The right people. 227 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:04,020 Homer J. Simpson, if I wasn't wearing my smiling teeth, 228 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,689 I'd look very angry. 229 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,859 Hangar those choppers, airman. 230 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,819 Now, the best way to get to know each other is 231 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,863 to share a rugged outdoor activity. 232 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,573 -Suggestions? -BOTH: Movie. 233 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,950 -Well, we could walk to the theater. -BOTH: Drive. 234 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,827 Well, at least we can walk to a seat at the top. 235 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,203 Handicap seat. 236 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,997 -Companion chair. -(groans) 237 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,836 HOMER: Ooh, previews! 238 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:30,880 ♪ ♪ 239 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,549 TRAILER ANNOUNCER: In a dystopian future... 240 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,594 Finally! A movie about a dystopian future, 241 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,513 unlike The Hunger Games, Edge of Tomorrow, 242 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,558 Oblivion, Elysium, Snow Piercer, 243 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,560 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, 244 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,605 X-Men: Days of Future Past, Enders Game... 245 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,107 The Road, World War Z, Children of Men, 246 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,901 After Earth, I Am Legend, 247 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,320 Mad Max: Fury Road, The Maze Runner, 248 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:57,740 District Nine, The Purge, Looper, Cloud Atlas, 249 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,076 Divergent, Insurgent, The Island, 250 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,621 Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play, and Chappie. 251 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,830 (both shudder) 252 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,999 Sir, the movie's been over for 20 minutes. 253 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,584 You'll have to clear out of the theater 254 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,087 -and come back for the next show. -D'oh! 255 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:15,341 So, you are the best America could send 256 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,760 to stop Sheik Abu Nadal Abdul 257 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,554 Nabal Nabu Dubal Nabadul Kashik? 258 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,808 I'd like to request a hip replacement-- yours. 259 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,894 I was a fool to fight America. 260 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,481 (screams) 261 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,066 Homer, take me to the bathroom. 262 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,567 What? Are you crazy? 263 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,570 If you love your father, you'll make sure he doesn't get disoriented 264 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,406 trying to work the knob-less faucet. 265 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,450 I'm too cold to trigger the infrared. 266 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,660 (groans) 267 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,079 (explosions, gunshots over speakers) 268 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,087 (whistling tune) 269 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,589 You were in there for 25 minutes! 270 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,717 I thought the mirror was another movie. 271 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,136 You made me miss the denouement! 272 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,972 Homer, I think it's time I showed you something. 273 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:06,475 I get it. 274 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,144 You brought me here to show me 275 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:11,147 how much Grampa went through for people like me. 276 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,190 No, we brought you here 277 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,402 'cause we're gonna set you straight once and for all. 278 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,698 I think I just went W.W. Two. 279 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,784 All right, all right. I love my father. 280 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,537 And if that makes me less of a man, so be it. 281 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,622 (awkward noises) 282 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,124 (affectionate noises) 283 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,667 Dad, I apologize. 284 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,336 I only say this at gunpoint, but it's true-- 285 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,589 -I love you. -Oh. 286 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:39,091 But it's been a long night... 287 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,010 I did not say "at ease." 288 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,553 (whimpers) 289 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:45,139 Fear-- that's how we, The Greatest Generation, 290 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,558 raised you, the worst generation. 291 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,645 My turn! 292 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,731 (laughs) 293 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,274 God, I love spijkerpoepen. 294 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,026 Annika, you've introduced me 295 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,111 to a whole new world of butt games. 296 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:02,698 And you've introduced me to a world of un-milled wind, 297 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,784 a game called "baseball" 298 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,577 that is neither fun nor fittening, 299 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,579 and private-use bicycles. 300 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:12,958 Still, you are small and cute like Lichtenstein. 301 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,627 Now vape up. 302 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,297 MARGE: (gasps) Bart Simpson! 303 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,258 (coughs) It's still legal in this state! 304 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,635 The bill's stuck in committee. 305 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,888 God, you just can't protect your kids enough. 306 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,473 (worried groan) 307 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,145 -Mmm. -Mmm. 308 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,522 Sharing a beer. 309 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,525 Just like we did after your first merit badge. 310 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,319 Ah, yes, basketry. 311 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,987 BOTH: Aw... 312 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,740 I still have what I made. 313 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,700 -D'oh! -Bart's smoking! 314 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,953 -(gasps) -E-cigarettes! 315 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,412 Oh, those are totally legal. 316 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,748 Tell me, does he like bubblegum or strawberry? 317 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,416 He doesn't even want to. 318 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,502 He's doing it to impress a girl. 319 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,587 They're sending Annika back to Holland! 320 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,257 She was just about to teach me to Dutch kiss. 321 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,883 Stuck on a girl, eh? 322 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,594 I know a story that'll fix you right up. 323 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,847 It was the 1950s... 324 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,306 suitcases were hard, 325 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,768 mid-century architecture had indoor-outdoor flow, 326 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,521 and the world was our garbage basket. 327 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,359 (glass shatters) 328 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,364 Nature will take it. 329 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,032 (hums) 330 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:31,120 GRAMPA: Mach was a test pilot, and I had a crucial job, too-- 331 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,789 {\an8}keeping desert turtles off the runway. 332 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,082 {\an8}Shoo! Shoo, now! 333 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,877 -Just pick them up! -Uh... they feel weird. 334 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,963 GRAMPA: At night, we cooled off at the local watering hole, 335 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,673 where they gave you a free steak dinner 336 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:45,050 if'n you set a new speed record and lived. 337 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,806 If you died, your widow got surf and turf. 338 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,350 Meanwhile, I was trying to make time 339 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:57,605 with the only cocktail waitress on a base full of heroes. 340 00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,191 We called her "Sunny" 'cause she was bright and yellow. 341 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,444 And if you got too close, you got burned? 342 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,613 Who's telling this story, you or me?! 343 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,031 I hope it's you. 344 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,991 Okay, well, I would imagine 345 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,827 as you were flirting with Sunny, Mach came up. 346 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,496 -Uh-huh, go on. -And asked her to dance? 347 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,707 Ooh, I did not see that coming! 348 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,251 ♪ ♪ 349 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,755 GRAMPA: Mach was scheduled to test-fly a new fighter plane. 350 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,299 {\an8}And then I heard something I shouldn't have. 351 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,427 Colonel, with all due respect, that new jet is a deathtrap. 352 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,265 It's the 1950s. Everything's a deathtrap. 353 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,602 Now have three martinis, a pack of smokes, and get in that plane. 354 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,313 GRAMPA: I'm not quite sure why I did what I did next. 355 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,732 Did I want Sunny to see me in a different light? 356 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,485 Or had they tested a little too much LSD on me 357 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,779 the night before without me knowing it? 358 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,284 Abraham Simpson, you damn fool! 359 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,702 When did you learn how to fly? 360 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,704 When you're in the Air Force for ten years, 361 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,206 you learn a few things. 362 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,124 Ah! What the hell just happened? 363 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,630 (laughing) 364 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,886 GRAMPA: It was if I could see the face of God. 365 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,430 (engine sputtering) 366 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,932 Oh, boy. 367 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,688 -(beeping) -At 50,000 feet, amazing things happen. 368 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,648 The frigid air forms 369 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:26,902 a beautiful rainbow of ice crystals in your lungs. 370 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,237 D'oh! 371 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,489 Luckily, my frozen hand on the stick 372 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,908 was exactly what that plane needed. 373 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:37,079 That day, I broke the sound barrier and then some. 374 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,918 Oh! My highball glasses. 375 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,837 GRAMPA: I headed back to tell the base 376 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,007 there wasn't one damn thing wrong with that plane. 377 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,219 This is gonna take some fancy flyin'. 378 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,762 (grunting) 379 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,355 I hitched a ride back to the base 380 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,108 with a young feller who was hoping to be a writer. 381 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,195 Thanks for the ride, Jack Kerouac. 382 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,531 Could you please mail this polished final draft 383 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,116 of my novel to my publisher? 384 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,077 And here's my rambling, repetitive first draft. 385 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,412 Promise me you'll destroy it, 386 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:21,415 so no one will ever read this total gibberish. 387 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:28,213 GRAMPA: (laughs) Boy, was he mad when he read that book. 388 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,257 Started drinking like a fish. 389 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,010 I was about to reel one in. 390 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,015 So, you want to marry a glamorous flyboy? 391 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,517 Or a dummy who tried to save him? 392 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,728 I'm a sucker for reckless nitwits. 393 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,897 Aw, Mona. 394 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,273 Shut up and kiss me. 395 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,650 Seriously, I'm already tired of your voice. 396 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,487 Mona? Sunny is Mona Simpson? 397 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,738 Homer's mother? 398 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,698 Gee, she wasn't too sunny when I knew her. 399 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,326 Although she really cheered up after she left you forever. 400 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,786 That's the point! 401 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:02,081 If you make a grand gesture, you can get any girl you want, 402 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,333 even if she's completely wrong for you. 403 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,460 But it won't last if you're pretending 404 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,670 to be someone you're not. 405 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,755 I see. 406 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,423 I've got to make a grand gesture. 407 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,509 And her flight boards in 38 minutes. 408 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,761 And KLM is never late! 409 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,015 (frustrated grunt) He didn't get a single word. 410 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,101 You got the point, didn't you, son? 411 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,812 Um, you used to work with turtles? 412 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,897 Yeah, that's pretty much it. 413 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,525 I used to work with turtles. 414 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,610 ♪ ♪ 415 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,047 (buzzes) 416 00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,805 Annika! Wait! 417 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,849 Before you leave-- I couldn't live with myself 418 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,101 if I didn't at least try to tell you how I feel. 419 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,562 A grand gesture. How American. 420 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,564 I don't actually like you. 421 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,440 You're only pleasant when you want something. 422 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,985 You've been in this country three weeks, and you hated everything. 423 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,111 That's not true. 424 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,446 I liked that there were new things here to complain about. 425 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,699 Well, I'm really relieved you're leaving. 426 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,577 {\an8}And take these poison pen lights with you! 427 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,246 (shrieking, clamoring) 428 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,039 Oh, thank God! 429 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,667 I'm so tired of breathing clean air! 430 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:34,256 (speaks Dutch) Rejected by a friend of Milhouse. 431 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,342 I will change into the striped leggings of shame. 432 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,094 (speaking Dutch) 433 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,435 If it's the blue hair and the schnozz you're digging, 434 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,520 I've got plenty more cousins. 435 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,771 Thanks, Milhouse. 436 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,691 I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for a while. 437 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:53,942 More for me. 438 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,778 Marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents. 439 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,615 Storm's a-comin'. 440 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,286 Homer, it's time for us to go. 441 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,289 We've got an air show in Reno, where the silver-haired foxes 442 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,791 are as common as Frisbees on the Jersey shore. 443 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,586 Come on, Dad. In honor of that record you broke, 444 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,923 I'm gonna cook you the thickest steak of your life. 445 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,257 Thank you, son. 446 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,719 But the days when I can eat a steak are long gone. 447 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:23,305 I wouldn't be so sure. (laughs) 448 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,982 No. Still too tough. 449 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,157 Aw, that's the best steak I ever breathed. 450 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,534 I'm full. 451 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,620 {\an8}(Annika speaking Dutch) 452 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,040 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 453 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:37,838 Subtitled by A. Vandelay