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<i>CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

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(groans)

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D'oh!

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-(tires screech)
-(grunts)

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(alarm blaring)

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(Paul Engemann's
"Push It to the Limit" playing)

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{\an8}<i>♪ Push it to the limit ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪</i>

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<i>♪ But don't look down,</i>
<i>just keep your head ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Or you'll be finished ♪</i>

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♪ ♪

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<i>♪ Open up the limit ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Past the point of no return ♪</i>

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<i>♪ You've reached the top</i>
<i>but still you gotta learn ♪</i>

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<i>♪ How to keep it ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ Welcome to the limit ♪</i>

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♪ <i>The limit</i> ♪

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<i>♪ Take it maybe one step more ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The power game's still playing ♪</i>

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<i>♪ So you better push it to the limit... ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The limit, the limit, the limit,</i>
<i>the limit, the limit</i> ♪

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Damn reruns.

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{\an8}-(music stops)
-(squeaking)

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(theme music playing)

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(indistinct shouting)

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"Even then, a wish, I mind its pow'r,

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A wish that to my latest hour

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Shall strongly heave my breast,

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{\an8}That I for poor auld Scotland's sake..."

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{\an8}(shouts)

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{\an8}All right, you little monsters!

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{\an8}You've awakened Scotland's shame!

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{\an8}(playing bagpipes)

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{\an8}(screaming)

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{\an8}(grunting)

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{\an8}Willie, you know you can't play
that torture trumpet to kids.

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{\an8}I'll just use it to vape, then.

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{\an8}(laughs)

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{\an8}Class, I would like you to meet
your new teacher,

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{\an8}retired Air Force Sergeant

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{\an8}-Ms. Berrera.
<i>-BART: Ay, caramba!</i>

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{\an8}-Air Force?
-Sergeant?

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{\an8}A woman?

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{\an8}(Spanish accent)
Good morning, crew.

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{\an8}I am proud to be here
educating my country.

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{\an8}(students gasping)

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{\an8}For you, teacher.

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{\an8}Because if there's one thing
I learned in combat,

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{\an8}it's that the most powerful weapon
is knowledge.

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{\an8}What's the second most powerful weapon?

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{\an8}Shoulder-mounted anti-tank missile. Duh.

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{\an8}Did you ever <i>American Sniper </i>someone?

53
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{\an8}Uh, that's really
not appropriate for me to say.

54
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{\an8}How many hospitals did you help build?

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{\an8}Negative three.

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{\an8}<i>BART: Oh, my God,</i>
<i>I've got a cool teacher.</i>

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{\an8}<i>What am I doing?</i>
<i>I'm sitting up straight,</i>

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{\an8}<i>and my hands are folded like a nerd.</i>

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{\an8}<i>-I've got to fix that.</i>
-Yes?

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{\an8}<i>(gasps) Now one's up in the air.</i>

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{\an8}<i>Okay, let's show</i>
<i>this innocent young veteran</i>

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{\an8}<i>what happens when you call</i>
<i>on Bart Simpson.</i>

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{\an8}Ma'am, my name is Bart,

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{\an8}and I just want to say
how delighted I am that you're here.

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{\an8}<i>What the hell?</i>

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Thank you, Bart.

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(gasps) A neck tat?

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Milhouse, have you ever thought
a teacher was cute?

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Oh, yeah.
I thought Krabappel was smokin'.

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I kept every issue of
the <i>Fourth Gradian</i> she was in.

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Great lady.

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(to tune of "Easy Lover")
<i>♪ Pretty sober ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I've only got one beer inside me ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Pull me over ♪</i>

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<i>♪ My blood alcohol is .03 ♪</i>

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Oh, I like it when the drivers sing
their blood alcohol level.

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<i>♪ Not so sober ♪</i>

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<i>♪ So drunk I'll eat gas station sushi ♪</i>

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<i>Homer, don't forget to pick up milk.</i>

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-Oh.
<i>-And not just any milk--</i>

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<i>healthy milk, without any hormones.</i>

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I won't forget.

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Aw, they sell ads in thought bubbles now?

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(whoops) I'm running a basic errand.

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Homer Simpson buying a healthy product?

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Now I have seen all of the things
that there are to see.

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-(beep)
-That will be $16.

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And can I interest you in any,
uh, milk insurance?

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$16?!

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Oof, another case of the rich cows
stickin' it to the little guy.

91
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Okay, don't worry.
We're going to get you into a milk today.

92
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Hmm.

93
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I like it's in a plastic bottle
that'll be around for millions of years.

94
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But is it good for my kids?

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I know you have concerns.

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But this video will gloss over
all of your questions.

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It'd better.

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Hmm.

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<i>-How's that milk, Jimmy?</i>
<i>-Boring.</i>

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Now, we could engineer a new Jimmy
who is less of a brat,

101
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but we'll just use science
to jazz things up.

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(jazz playing)

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<i>We used to feed boring old grass to cows.</i>

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<i>That might have been fine</i>
<i>for Farmer Brown.</i>

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<i>But we brought in a next-gen blend</i>
<i>of phenyl ketamine,</i>

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<i>ketyl phenamine, and a healthy</i>
<i>sprinkling of transuranic elements.</i>

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<i>But don't worry, we still get the milk</i>
<i>from good old-fashioned cows.</i>

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That's the best milk I've ever had.

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(chuckles) You said "milk."

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We can't, legally.

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I'm not the kind of guy
advertising works on,

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but I'll take 20,
no questions asked.

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(Marge humming)

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-Hmm?
-(humming)

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-Bart, you're up already?
-Don't want to be late for school.

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Hair combed, face washed?

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-I thought I'd shake things up.
-(humming)

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Morning, Marge. Morning, Bart.

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What the... Ooh, la, la.

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Is it a court day today?
Hmm, let's see.

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(muttering) Nope, today we're off.

122
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The courthouse is closed
because the judge is becoming a citizen.

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-What gives, boy?
-Nothing's going on.

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Some days a boy just wants to look
like he's going to church, okay?

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I'm the last one to breakfast?

126
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(gasps) You guys are planning
my birthday, right?

127
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'Cause last year's was kind of lonely.

128
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Boy, that's when I realized just how big

129
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a bowling alley really is.

130
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Can we please get a move on?
I do not want to miss any school.

131
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Ooh, could this punctual
Bart possibly be connected

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to your cute new teacher?

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Oh, do I have a cute new sexy teacher?

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I hadn't noticed.

135
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<i>♪ Bart likes his teacher,</i>
<i>Bart likes his teacher ♪</i>

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Hey, nothing can turn a boy's life around
like a cute teacher.

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Like what Michelle Pfeiffer
did for Coolio.

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In fact, to be supportive,
I'll drive Bart to school.

139
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Are you just trying to see
how cute the teacher is?

140
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,972
Or how handsome he is, Marge.

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(quietly) Not a he, right, boy?

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-No.
-(whoops softly)

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Hmm?

144
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Even my dad came back for this!

145
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That's right, son.
But, uh, right after this,

146
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I have to go get some cigarettes.

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Last time, you never came back.
(sobs)

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Oh, don't cry, Norman.

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-That's not my name!
-Oh, right.

150
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-That's my other abandoned son.
-I have a brother!

151
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And just what are you doing?

152
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Putting the first new coat of paint
on this school in 30 years.

153
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(chuckles)

154
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It's always good to have a joker
in the platoon.

155
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Bart, according to your folder,

156
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,677
you need some extra help.

157
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Can you meet me after class?

158
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No problemo.
I can move my 3:30 freeze tag.

159
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Ugh, just cancel.

160
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,562
Bart, I'm glad that you're trying,

161
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,647
but I am worried that
you're starting from a place

162
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far behind most students.

163
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It's because I am so troubled, ma'am.

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Vulnerable.
I need a firm but pretty hand.

165
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,620
Oh. Would you like Martin Prince
to tutor you?

166
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,997
No! Last time he was at my house,

167
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,875
he talked about bird-watching all day.

168
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:23,461
Even my mom got bored,
and she loves boredom.

169
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Well, I guess I could see you
Tuesdays after school.

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(sighs)

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<i>♪ Tuesday ♪</i>

172
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<i>♪ Afternoon ♪</i>

173
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<i>♪ I'm just beginning to see ♪</i>

174
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<i>♪ Now I'm on my way ♪</i>

175
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<i>♪ It doesn't matter to me ♪</i>

176
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<i>♪ Chasing the clouds away ♪</i>

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SKINNER: Uh, Ms. Berrera?
(clears throat)

178
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I was, uh, wondering
if you needed any help,

179
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,083
uh, pulling your maps.

180
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,210
You have to give 'em a snap.

181
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,880
Otherwise,
they just get longer and longer.

182
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,299
<i>BART: Oh, my God, he loves her, too.</i>

183
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,051
<i>SKINNER: Oh, my God, he loves her, too.</i>

184
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:14,762
<i>HERRERA: (American accent)</i>
<i>Oh, my God, they love me, too!</i>

185
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:17,390
<i>That's right.</i>
<i>In my head, I sound like this.</i>

186
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:25,064
LISA: No! No, no, no, no!

187
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,649
BART:
What happened? Did jazz die?

188
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,401
Look at me!

189
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,238
Acne? But she's only eight.

190
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,449
Somehow I'm becoming
a squeaky-voiced teen!

191
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,743
(voice cracking)
Do you want fries with that?

192
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,287
What am I saying?!

193
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,665
BART: I, too, was visited
by the Ghost of Puberty Present.

194
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,125
I've got a starter 'stache.

195
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,128
Next, I'm a loser,
then I'm a creep, then I'm a perv.

196
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:48,546
I've got to buy a van.

197
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,299
(crying) This isn't fair.

198
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,509
I'm not ready for my awkward years.

199
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,346
This is my happy childhood,
for crying out loud!

200
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,265
Aw. Beep, bop, boop.

201
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,474
Dialing for pizza.

202
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,726
-(grunts)
-Ow!

203
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:07,481
Somewhere, another mustache
is in tremendous pain.

204
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,900
It must be precocious puberty.

205
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,447
It's a thing.
I just read about it in <i>Thing Magazine.</i>

206
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:17,867
Homer, I'll fix Lisa up,
and you teach Bart to shave.

207
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:22,747
You got it. But there will be blood.

208
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:27,084
And there, there, and there.

209
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:31,756
The cream looks delicious,
but don't eat too much.

210
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,799
And there.
See how it's done, boy?

211
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,761
Dad, aren't you supposed to take
the little plastic thing off the blade?

212
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:39,138
Really?
I always wondered about that.

213
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,974
Hmm.

214
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,684
(humming)

215
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:47,396
(gasps) Well, hello, Billy Zane.

216
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,856
(purrs)

217
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,567
Sweetie, every kid goes through this.

218
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,527
That's why proms are dark.

219
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:58,240
Just stick some carrots in there
three times a day.

220
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,914
So we won't see your sweet little face
for ten more years?

221
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:08,918
(crying)
Mom, the inside of this hoodie

222
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,045
is covered in tears.

223
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,923
Let me try some makeup.

224
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,424
(whimpering)

225
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,718
-Cruelty-free?
-Oh, yes.

226
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,845
I'll be very gentle.

227
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,847
Marge? Marge, you got to see this!

228
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,599
Oh, what is it?

229
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,600
D'oh!

230
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,775
I actually have two different PTSDs.

231
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,652
The kind we combat veterans know.

232
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:37,446
And also parent-teacher-student dilemmas.

233
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,449
No!

234
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,785
(squeaking, grunts)

235
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,370
(gasps) Bart!

236
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:45,996
Do not worry.

237
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,499
I am certified as a paramedic.

238
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,423
Oh! Teacher, could you kiss my owie?

239
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,676
Boy owies can only be kissed by Willie.

240
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,052
(panting)

241
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,555
-Where's the owie?
-I'm fine. I'm fine.

242
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,058
Whoa, Lisa, you look great!

243
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,102
Beautiful and mature.

244
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,229
Like a sideline reporter.

245
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,022
Oh. R-Really?

246
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,316
Didn't know you were so cool.

247
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,154
Well, um, uh, well, duh.

248
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:21,323
<i>LISA: Oh, my God, I'm popular!</i>

249
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,576
<i>Hope this doesn't go to my head.</i>

250
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,995
<i>It went right to my head! Aah!</i>

251
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,830
So when you're done with this page,

252
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,249
you will learn how tectonic plates

253
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:34,587
rub against each other
till something gives deep down.

254
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,089
-(laughs)
-You do not have to tutor this boy

255
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,508
under the new One Child Left Behind law.

256
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:43,262
But he needs help, and he's not
going to be a child much longer.

257
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,264
He's got a mustache coming in.

258
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,932
Yeah, so beat it, bald lip.

259
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,437
-(cell phone chimes)
-Oh, my God!

260
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,565
I just got invited
to my first third-grade party!

261
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,525
Are the parents gonna be home?

262
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,527
-Yes.
-(scoffs) Lame.

263
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,571
Guys, I need to sharpen my mustaches.

264
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:01,906
Which is better--

265
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,699
A or B?

266
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,576
A... or B?

267
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,077
A or B?

268
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,914
-A... or B?
-B.

269
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,165
-A.
-N.

270
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:15,294
Ugh! I'm tired of my son
having a mustache like a pool boy.

271
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:19,381
Hey, those pool boys
pull in some sweet jingle.

272
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,467
Plus, they get to work in flip-flops.

273
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,803
Homie, it's time we figured this out.

274
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,846
Maybe milk will help us think.

275
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,598
How would milk do that?

276
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,683
It's from cows who are smart enough

277
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,602
not to get turned into hamburger.

278
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,229
Hmm.

279
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,605
Oh.

280
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,107
I never looked closely
at this milk before.

281
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,026
Is it made by a soda company?

282
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,986
They don't just make soda, Marge.

283
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,780
They also make industrial foam.

284
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,116
(belches loudly)

285
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,035
Homer, it's the milk!

286
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,870
-Oh.
-Hey.

287
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,248
I'll call the help hotline on the carton.

288
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,000
(touch tones sounding)

289
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,836
(phone ringing)

290
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,838
Talk to me.

291
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,506
Yes, I need a milk refund.

292
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,133
Right. Um, address, please?

293
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,261
Wait, wait. Hold on.

294
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:09,056
742 Nevergreen...

295
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:11,016
Oh, Evergreen Terrace.

296
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,519
Sorry. Our system's a little slow.

297
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,271
(indistinct chatter)

298
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,189
(whistling)

299
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,818
-Aw!
-(both moaning)

300
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,448
Ew! I mean, cool!

301
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,285
I just turned a big corner, Bart.

302
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,666
(humming)

303
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,626
(laughing) Oh, Simpson,

304
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,712
I called you here to gloat.

305
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,631
(scoffs) Yeah, yeah,
I know about you and Berrera.

306
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,884
You know about me and Carol?

307
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,927
(gasps) You know her name?

308
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,054
Oh, first and middle, and I know more.

309
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,974
Her favorite salad bar item
is little shredded cheese.

310
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,517
(scoffs) Everyone likes that.

311
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,269
Oh, I know a lot more than that.

312
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,479
She's never seen an episode of <i>Friends.</i>

313
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,648
-Not even "The One With..."
-No, not one.

314
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,318
And she has a cat
with different color eyes.

315
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,612
His name is Bowie.

316
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,614
No!

317
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,325
Face it, Simpson,
you can't compete with me.

318
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,035
I can rent a car.

319
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,039
How can I derail his happiness?

320
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,875
I got a delivery of live class pets here.

321
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,919
Interesting. Excuse me.

322
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,795
-I have one question.
-Yes.

323
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:26,133
When you're in the shower,
do you shampoo your mustache?

324
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,344
Of course. It's a must-stache,

325
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,554
not an if-you-feel-like-it-stache.

326
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,057
All right, have a good day.
Dickory doo.

327
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,226
(both moaning)

328
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,103
I brought you some candy, Carol.

329
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,356
Not from CVS, not from Walgreens.

330
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,024
From the airport.

331
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,609
And I wasn't even going anywhere.

332
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,444
-Oh!
-Ah.

333
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,696
Your candy's filled with chupacabras.

334
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,783
We've been pranked or possibly punked.

335
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,826
I know who your prankster is.

336
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,495
The Simpson lad.

337
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,413
Were you watching us make out?

338
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,957
I was watching you try.

339
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,003
Mom, could you please, please,

340
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,173
please stay within the lip liner?

341
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,842
A week ago,
you'd never even worn makeup.

342
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,303
Now you're an expert like Ace Frehley.

343
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,721
(groans)

344
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,438
Sherri. Terri. (laughs)

345
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,317
I usually don't see double
until an hour into the party. (giggles)

346
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,236
(thunder rumbling)

347
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,447
<i>LISA: It's going to rain,</i>
<i>and rain washes off makeup,</i>

348
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,658
<i>and then they will see me as I truly am--</i>

349
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,535
<i>imperfect, blemished,</i>

350
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,745
<i>a social mess in a lampshade dress.</i>

351
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,622
(thunderclaps)

352
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,249
<i>Okay, all right.</i>

353
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,917
<i>Lisa, you were never popular,</i>

354
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,003
<i>so you're playing with</i>
<i>the house's money.</i>

355
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,255
Attention, party!

356
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,924
I'm not like you.

357
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,928
What I'm saying is,
I gave my Christmas money to NPR.

358
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,472
I have a chemistry set... that I've used!

359
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,765
MAN: Is there a point to this?

360
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,600
And beneath all this makeup,

361
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,103
I have... problem skin.

362
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,188
KIDS: Ew!

363
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,695
What are you talking about?
Your skin is fine.

364
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,364
Really? The bad milk wore off.

365
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,533
So, uh, admitting you're not cool

366
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,536
is probably the coolest thing
you can do, right? (laughs)

367
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,121
(kids murmuring)

368
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,498
I will see myself out.

369
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,209
(groans)

370
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,796
You look ba-lonely.

371
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,381
I feel ba-lonely.

372
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,675
-You want to be friends?
-I do.

373
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,719
Um, how clean is that hand?

374
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,512
Mmm... mah!

375
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,972
Cleaner now.

376
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,307
Okay.

377
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,601
A fish says, "Moo!"

378
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,728
(quietly) This isn't gonna last long.

379
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,688
I still take baths in the sink.

380
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,024
Okay, it's over. Sorry, Ralph.

381
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,778
I'll be eating crayons for one.

382
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,868
Oh, the plan is perfect!

383
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,745
I just have to get Skinner to hold still

384
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,789
while I slip a firecracker in his butt.

385
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,332
LISA: Come on, give it up.

386
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,751
Bart, I realized what's been going on.

387
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,670
We've been operating
under the influence of hormones.

388
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,131
Hormones? Sounds far-fetched.

389
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,674
(in deep voice) Very far-fetched.

390
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,344
Well, it's true, so give Skinner a shot.

391
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,387
Everyone deserves happiness.

392
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,473
Even wieners.

393
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,563
Hey, Dad, how much does
the Mustache Fairy pay?

394
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,649
Hmm, three bucks.

395
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,740
When you asked me to go skating,
I really thought you knew how.

396
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:41,453
Uh, I thought I could learn
by watching YouTubes this morning.

397
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,372
All right, Simpson, I'm here.

398
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,916
Do what you do best-- your worst.

399
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,876
Look, Seymour, I'm not gonna do a thing.

400
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,212
Carol, he's all yours.

401
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,548
Wow. The first war I've won.

402
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,758
Uh, Carol, all that's left is for you
to meet my mother,

403
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,136
and, uh, up she skates now.

404
00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,638
My son, I just want to say,

405
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,807
I wish the four of you the best.

406
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,183
Four of us?

407
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,726
You, her,

408
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,479
your model planes and nudie books.

409
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,106
Sorry, Seymour.

410
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:12,109
Now I can't look at you
without picturing it.

411
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:13,944
Oh, my room's not that bad.

412
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,946
I'm talking about your mother.

413
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:19,158
(cackling)

414
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,952
Hey, listen, want to roast marshmallows?

415
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,413
-I'd like that.
-Great, man, great.

416
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,707
You're buying.

417
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,042
(saxophone playing)

418
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,879
Thank you, Simpson.

419
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,547
That does feel better.

420
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,091
Fire looks like it's dying down.

421
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,220
BART: Thanks, man.

422
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,431
Well, I guess a lot of women
leave their men

423
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,183
to go back and serve in Afghanistan.

424
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,768
No one drives 'em away like you, Seymour.

425
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,025
{\an8}(saxophone playing)

426
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,363
Well, no more makeup for me. Ever!

427
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,366
What about when you're blowing
your stupid horn at Carnegie Hall?

428
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,912
(gasps) If you say it out loud,
it won't come true!

429
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,872
Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Hall.
Carnegie Hall.

430
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,082
(both grunting)

431
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,379
Looks like someone's
still drinking the milk.

432
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,632
(both grunting)

433
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,259
{\an8}(saxophone playing)

434
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,556
{\an8}(jazz playing)

435
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,137
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!

436
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,935
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots