1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,171
-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-MILHOUSE: Whee!
2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,214
Uh-oh!
3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,928
(exclaiming)
4
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,268
(school bell ringing)
5
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,022
(Barney belches)
6
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,692
-(whistle blows)
-(yells)
7
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,906
(beeping)
8
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,830
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,543
(playing the blues)
10
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,630
D'oh!
11
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,757
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,425
(grunts)
13
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,719
(fanfare plays)
14
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,151
(dramatic music playing)
15
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,577
Hey. How ya doin' there?
16
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,165
{\an8}(both grunting)
17
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,585
{\an8}(murmuring angrily)
18
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,713
{\an8}(grunting furiously)
19
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,592
{\an8}(humming)
20
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:34,427
{\an8}(gasps)
21
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,431
{\an8}(humming)
22
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,933
{\an8}(squawks)
23
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,267
{\an8}Ah.
24
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,520
{\an8}(irritated murmurs)
25
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,647
{\an8}(gibbering)
26
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,983
{\an8}(reluctantly agreeing noise)
27
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,279
{\an8}Ook.
28
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,910
{\an8}(grunting)
29
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,663
{\an8}Ow.
30
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,706
{\an8}I brought fried chicken!
31
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,416
{\an8}-Biscuit!
-First dibs!
32
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,918
{\an8}Homer, you have to do more.
33
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,169
{\an8}Ook?!
34
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,130
{\an8}I'm getting tired of your ooks.
35
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}I can't do this alone.
36
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,591
{\an8}Where's your chore list?
37
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,051
{\an8}Oh, I'm taking care of that!
38
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,178
{\an8}It's laminated.
39
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,596
{\an8}And to make sure I do it...
40
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,722
{\an8}Hmm?
41
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,724
{\an8}(groans)
42
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,812
{\an8}I've never seen this.
43
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,189
{\an8}It must've been left
by some previous owner.
44
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}Holy moly!
45
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,069
{\an8}A valuable antique car!
46
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,071
{\an8}This is the find of a lifetime!
47
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,157
{\an8}Oh, it's a stick.
48
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,785
{\an8}(grunting)
49
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,328
{\an8}(engine starts)
50
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,123
{\an8}Dad, shouldn't we see
who owns the car?
51
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,750
{\an8}Now, sweetie,
according to the ancient law of trover,
52
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}abandoned property passes
to the subsequent landowner.
53
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,590
{\an8}Man, ever since you watched
Medieval Tomb Robbers
54
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,133
{\an8}on the History Channel,
55
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,093
{\an8}everything with you
is trover, trover, trover.
56
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:01,097
{\an8}Boy, either show me a writ of replevin
or pipe down.
57
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,433
{\an8}♪ ♪
58
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,018
{\an8}(tires screech)
59
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:08,271
{\an8}♪ Chubby dude in a tiny car ♪
60
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,899
{\an8}♪ Making friends both near and far ♪
61
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:16,362
{\an8}♪ In this little town
he's a shooting star ♪
62
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,947
{\an8}♪ That's a chubby dude ♪
63
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:22,869
{\an8}♪ In a tiny car ♪
64
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:26,206
{\an8}♪ From Shelbyville to Zanzibar ♪
65
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,375
{\an8}♪ It doesn't matter where you are ♪
66
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,297
{\an8}♪ There's not a thing that can com-par ♪
67
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:41,346
{\an8}♪ To a chubby dude in a tiny car ♪
68
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,558
Aw, the needle's on "E."
69
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,519
Uh, I got something
that works as gasoline.
70
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,564
(bell dinging)
71
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,819
♪ ♪
72
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:57,904
(honks jauntily)
73
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,031
-Daddy's home!
-Daddy's home!
74
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,532
Hello, children.
75
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,993
For you, daughter,
a little ragdoll.
76
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,079
For you, son, a Florida orange.
77
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:09,332
You know, there's something
truly amazing about you, Dad.
78
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,125
Everything's an adventure.
79
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,543
You go to clean the garage,
80
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,337
and you find a classic car.
81
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,965
Yes, fortune favors the bald.
82
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,633
Now for the best part:
83
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,511
sharing my great day with your mom.
84
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,180
(hums, spits)
85
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,642
Well, if it isn't my favorite gal
in my favorite room.
86
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,519
I'm glad you had a good day.
87
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,937
You don't sound glad.
88
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,355
I'm not glad.
89
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,940
But you said you were glad.
90
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,067
You need to read between the lines.
91
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,194
Why?
There's just white space there.
92
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,445
(sighs deeply)
93
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,863
(voice breaking)
I'm sorry, Homie.
94
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,157
Your life is full of fun surprises.
95
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,451
My life sucks.
96
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,995
(sobbing)
97
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,454
HOMER: Uh-oh. Tissues?
98
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,039
(sniffs)
99
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,416
Oh...
100
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,876
Well, would it help
if I rubbed your back?
101
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,212
Huh? Eh? Uh?
102
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,548
Your hands smell like steering wheel.
103
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,924
(sniffs)
Hmm.
104
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,386
Poor Marge.
What do I do?
105
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,762
Help me, universe!
106
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,014
(doorbell rings)
107
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,350
-Jay Leno?
-Hiya!
108
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,770
I was just passing
in my 1973 Citroen DS Pallas
109
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,772
when I saw that classic Morgan
110
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,607
with the original wood dash interior.
111
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,276
Man, I-I'd like to buy it.
112
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,695
You'll have to pay cash
with no questions asked.
113
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:21,988
How much you want?
114
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,406
I said no questions!
115
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,829
Don't worry,
this car is a piece of art,
116
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,331
going where it will be admired.
117
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,417
To my secret underground
car depository!
118
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,880
(groaning)
119
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,715
(sighs)
120
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,759
It's time for me to do
what I do best:
121
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,344
prolong this marriage.
122
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,220
You wanted a good surprise,
Marge?
123
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,555
You've got it.
124
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,766
We are going on the trip
of our lives.
125
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,184
Really? Where?
126
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,477
(doorbell rings)
127
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,853
I'll be right back.
128
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,898
Let your imagination run wild.
129
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,191
Hey, Homer.
130
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,068
-And you are...?
-Jay Leno.
131
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,070
Hey, do you still have that money
I gave you for the car?
132
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,154
Sure do.
133
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,989
Well, uh,
I'm gonna need it back.
134
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,824
But I just promised my wife...
135
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,118
Homer,
I've collected hundreds of antique cars
136
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,287
on the theory that they don't
make 'em like they used to.
137
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,705
Well, I just bought this new Toyota.
138
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,374
Turns out it's much better.
139
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,542
I can go to the store
and make it all the way back.
140
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,877
It doesn't break down once.
141
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,797
-Imagine that? Geez.
-Yeah.
142
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,881
Here's your money back.
143
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,466
Can I have my car?
144
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,967
Unfortunately, when I went to register it,
145
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,302
it wasn't your car.
146
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553
So the-the police took it.
147
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,973
♪ Chubby cop in a tiny car ♪
148
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,102
♪ Going to the nearest cop bar... ♪
149
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,062
-Well, see ya.
-(car lock beeps)
150
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,980
Unbelievable! It opens from here.
151
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,191
(laughs)
The age we live in!
152
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,610
I've decided where I want to go.
153
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,862
Um, ooh, the trolley at the mall?
154
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,989
No, Paris!
155
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,368
The most romantic city in the world.
156
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,453
(groans)
157
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,704
Paris?
158
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,331
What am I gonna do?
159
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,707
(beeps)
160
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,337
A travel agent!
161
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,673
Oh, thank God you're not obsolete yet.
162
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,591
And a good morning to you, sir.
163
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,009
Here's the problem.
164
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,761
I've disappointed my wife
so many times,
165
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,929
I can't do it once more.
166
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,389
I see.
167
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:14,392
So I have to take her
and our three kids to Paris.
168
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,854
But here's the challenge:
I have no money.
169
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,939
Uh, let me see what I can do.
170
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,484
Anything coming up?
171
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,819
No, it's not plugged in.
172
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,821
The noise helps me think.
173
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,156
All right.
174
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,701
There is a way...
but it is a tad risky.
175
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,620
Would you consider
being a casual courier?
176
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,957
You mean not like the fancy guys
that ride the bicycles...
177
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,417
Let me explain.
178
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,043
The mob--
I mean, the courier company--
179
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,920
will pay airfare and hotel,
180
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,715
and all you have to do
is deliver a package.
181
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:49,302
But... you cannot look
inside the package.
182
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,722
Sure. For Marge, I will make
the supreme sacrifice
183
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,391
of not doing something.
184
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,520
(humming)
185
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,230
That's the "package."
186
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,482
What package?
187
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,733
The package you're delivering.
188
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,026
Ooh.
189
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,986
And the clients
have asked me once more
190
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,780
to remind you not to look inside.
191
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,159
Hey, buddy,
I didn't start doing this yesterday!
192
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,328
I started doing it right now.
193
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,080
Uh... the package?
194
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792
Hmm.
195
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,963
Paris! I can't believe it!
196
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,131
Homer Simpson,
197
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,467
just when I think you have
nothing left to offer,
198
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:33,513
you whisk me to the birthplace
of existentialism.
199
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,389
Now, if you'll excuse me,
200
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,058
it's an 11-hour flight,
201
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,101
and I have to visit the "Louvre."
202
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,811
(chuckles)
203
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,064
(Marge humming)
204
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,900
(annoyed chatter)
205
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,235
MAN:
Can't see the movie now.
206
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,903
HOMER:
Everything's great.
207
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,696
Absolutely great.
208
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,240
Yet, there's something
in that briefcase,
209
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,699
and it could get us in trouble.
210
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,992
My mind's running wild.
211
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,078
And you're not supposed
to run on an airplane.
212
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,539
Oh, that's it,
I have to open the briefcase.
213
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,878
(shrieks)
214
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,879
(hiss)
215
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,757
Oh, what a cute, blue sna...
216
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,342
(muffled grunts)
217
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,057
(hyperventilating)
218
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,225
Okay.
219
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,395
(thinking) First thing, I gotta figure out
if it can breathe in there.
220
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,482
D'oh!
221
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,359
Hmm. Better try the other eye.
222
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,569
D'oh!
223
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,362
Okay, maybe the first eye again.
224
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,655
What the...?
225
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,948
I found it.
226
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,908
It's an Amazon Blue Constrictor.
227
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:39,579
Ooh, it's a very rare
and endangered species.
228
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,582
Oh, the trip of a lifetime.
229
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,375
(sighs)
230
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,502
(whispering)
I can't break her heart.
231
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,546
(whispering)
Well, you can't let anything bad
232
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,172
happen to that snake.
233
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,507
I promise.
234
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,467
And you have to promise
to preserve
235
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,596
another endangered species...
my marriage.
236
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,306
I promise.
237
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,892
Oh, for the first time,
a snake has ruined paradise.
238
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,527
I'll get the luggage.
239
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,279
Marge, you and the kids grab a cab.
240
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,364
A Parisian cab.
241
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,366
(French accent)
Taxi. Taxi.
242
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,452
(giggles)
Taxi.
243
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,039
Are you casual courier
Homer Simpson?
244
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,123
I am.
245
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,708
Here is your money.
246
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,501
Finally. I've been
here for two minutes.
247
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:31,297
Listen, what's gonna happen
to, uh, the package?
248
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,132
Oh, it will have a fine home.
249
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,925
A wonderful home.
250
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,803
As the belt around the waist
of a well-dressed woman.
251
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,389
I am not gonna let you
hurt that snake!
252
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:47,021
You have to say "Lisa, catch"
before you throw it.
253
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,731
-Come on.
-(grunts)
254
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,069
Where did they go?
255
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,988
Maybe we shouldn't have stopped
for that seven-course meal.
256
00:10:56,072 --> 00:11:00,451
Oh, maybe we should just
have six, like peasants!
257
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,414
So, back home we call this
the tire fire.
258
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,378
♪ ♪
259
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,053
Man, look at those gargoyles.
260
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,389
That's from back when religions still knew
261
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,599
how to scare the crap out of you.
262
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,101
Homie, I have to ask.
263
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,395
Why are you carrying
that briefcase?
264
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,772
I just brought a little work.
265
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,273
You don't even bring
your work to work.
266
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,400
(grunts)
267
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,610
I'm sorry.
I just want this family
268
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,196
to have one trip that's great.
269
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,032
Not like Australia or Brazil,
270
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,992
Japan, London,
271
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,705
China,
that World's Fair Bart drove to,
272
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,998
that place with
the underground jockeys...
273
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,793
So, Dad, what are you
gonna do with the snake?
274
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,503
...Itchy and Scratchy Land,
275
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,046
outer space...
276
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,840
Lisa, I've come to understand
277
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,634
a snake's natural habitat
is not a briefcase.
278
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,636
So I'm going to set him free.
279
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,264
Oh, may I suggest
the gardens of the Louvre?
280
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,558
-They're filled with delicious rats.
-(man screams)
281
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,229
Whoo-hoo!
282
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,109
It's a shame Lisa and your father
had that errand
283
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,318
and couldn't join us.
284
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,820
But on the upside...
285
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,488
more pâté please!
286
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,283
Vraiment?
You want more pâté?
287
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:25,286
Yes, before my cruelty-free daughter
shows up.
288
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,371
Perhaps madam would like
to order from our
289
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,331
extra cruelty menu.
290
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,334
We have coq au vin made
from an old rooster
291
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,254
who was kicked to death
in front of his wife and children.
292
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,505
Very nice.
293
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,508
On second thought,
I'll just have a salad.
294
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,885
Ah, très bien.
295
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,554
Gilles, gouge the eyes out
of some new potatoes!
296
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:47,057
Ugh, I can't stand to look
at this anymore.
297
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,435
Bart, can you ditch this
in the alley for me?
298
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,280
(glass clattering)
299
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,866
(clamoring)
300
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,201
Hmm.
301
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,994
Starving models.
302
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,704
Well, Bart Simpson never met
303
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,956
a beautiful woman
he couldn't prank.
304
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,126
Dad, I love being on a caper
in France with you.
305
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,045
Well, this is gonna be a snap.
306
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,047
All we need is to get our tickets
307
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,883
from this automatic
French ticket dispenser.
308
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,219
{\an8}(grunting)
309
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:28,474
(female voice speaking French)
310
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,434
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!
311
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,814
FEMALE VOICE:
Votre billet.
312
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,858
Dad, you just bought
a ticket to Argenteuil.
313
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,860
Prochain client, s'il vous plaît.
314
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,863
Stop speaking French,
damn you!
315
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,865
MALE VOICE (speaking German):
Die Maschine nicht zu schlagen!
316
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:45,825
Yes, sir.
317
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,993
(upbeat runway music plays)
318
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,380
Here, skinny, skinny.
319
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,339
Here, skinny,
skinny.
320
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,508
(models grunting)
321
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,515
BART:
I've never been happier.
322
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,643
Okay, you're free.
323
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,020
Now, remember to respect
this ecosystem.
324
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,440
Come on, go.
325
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,442
You'll be a snake that lives in Paris.
326
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,987
It's a children's book that writes itself.
327
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,405
UGOLIN:
Not so fast!
328
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,782
(gasps)
How did you find us?
329
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
All tourists come to the Louvre.
330
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,578
Hey, it's got great paintings.
331
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,079
Oh, yeah? Name two.
332
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:35,499
Uh... uh...
333
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,835
Uh...
334
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,461
Don't patronize us!
335
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,630
You make belts from snakes.
336
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,465
We treat our high-fashion animals
337
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,217
in the most humane manner.
338
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,810
(gasps)
You're monsters.
339
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,271
True, but that is just
a part of who we are.
340
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,814
We are also poets.
341
00:14:58,898 --> 00:14:59,815
Communists.
342
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,941
Experts on mustard.
343
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,484
They're gone!
344
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,986
If we want to be criminals,
345
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,529
we should keep
a better eye on people.
346
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,531
-It's really not that hard.
-Do not worry.
347
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,326
There is one surefire way
to find the Americans.
348
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,577
Marco!
349
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,953
HOMER (far off):
Polo!
350
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,956
I say, "Marco!"
351
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,249
HOMER (closer):
Polo!
352
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,834
LISA:
Dad, control yourself.
353
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:19,919
HOMER:
I got it.
354
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,045
Marco!
355
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,088
HOMER:
Polo! Oh, he tricked me.
356
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,884
(fading)
Marco! Marco! Marco! Marco!
357
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,302
Polo!
358
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,929
Now what are we gonna do
with the snake?
359
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,931
We'll just have
to keep him with us.
360
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:32,932
(gasps)
361
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,141
What is it, Lisa?
362
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,935
Do you see a Burger King?
363
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,978
We're at rue des Lombards,
364
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,981
home of the three most famous
jazz clubs in Paris.
365
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,274
What do you think, Dad?
366
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,777
Just pull the rope, please.
367
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,111
(playing jazz)
368
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,574
How old are you?
369
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,575
Eight.
370
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,327
Très bien.
371
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,004
(crowd gasps)
372
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,506
We need a doctor!
373
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,509
And someone who can
play saxophone!
374
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,427
Oh, which is which?!
375
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,096
I'll show you.
376
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,188
LISA:
I've never been happier.
377
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,273
♪ ♪
378
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,110
(sighs)
379
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,195
(sighs)
380
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,948
(sighs)
381
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,122
(sighs)
382
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,835
Plastered in Paris.
383
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,004
There is no better feeling.
384
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,048
(sighing)
385
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,009
(moaning)
386
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,512
Marge, there's something
I need to tell you.
387
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,850
That briefcase.
388
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,268
I knew it was trouble.
389
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,104
Yes, this is my Battle of Essling.
390
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,524
Unless Napoleon had a more
famous defeat I'm not aware of.
391
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,444
(gasps)
392
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,447
I've been smuggling this snake
this whole trip.
393
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,449
But it was the only way
I could pay for it,
394
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,451
and you wanted to go so badly.
395
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,620
And besides, those French crooks
couldn't catch anybody.
396
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,457
-There they are!
-No, no bridge!
397
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,208
We'll have to board
a Bateau Mouche.
398
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:27,212
A little champagne,
some dancing, and then...
399
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,797
(groans)
They're gone again!
400
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,216
This joie de vivre is killing us.
401
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,385
{\an8}HOMER:
Man, I never thought I'd be so glad
402
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,388
{\an8}to get back to our own
arrondissement.
403
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,141
(French accent)
Ooh-la-la-la-la.
404
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,602
You have despoiled
our supermodels,
405
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:45,397
let an American perform
with a French combo,
406
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,234
and stolen
these poor gentlemen's snake.
407
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,780
Well, I guess this is the point
that comes in every vacation
408
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,698
where I say... run! Run!
409
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,158
(sighs)
410
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,701
Okay, don't run.
411
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,453
Better cuff this one.
412
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,171
No snake!
413
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,798
What's on the desk?
414
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,343
Just a few dozen urgent messages
from someone called "Grampa."
415
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,762
This one says the cat
is eating his toast.
416
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,014
I have no time
for cats and toast.
417
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,432
Search the room.
418
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,604
(French accent) We have searched
their room from armoire to bidet, huh?
419
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,106
No snake.
420
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,816
Maybe we were wrong about you.
421
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,235
Let's see if the police
dogs can do anything.
422
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,320
(yipping)
423
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,034
I keep telling you
they are worthless.
424
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,994
But they're so damn cute.
425
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,621
(yipping)
426
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,833
All right, Simpsons,
I apologize.
427
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,001
As for you,
set the dogs on them.
428
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,003
(yipping)
429
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,506
Prepare to have
your ankles nipped!
430
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,508
(yipping)
431
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,844
I just want to say
that before we came,
432
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,347
our family was falling apart
like your European Union.
433
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:03,225
But just a few days
in your wonderful country,
434
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,227
and now we're better than ever.
435
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,229
All is forgiven, my friends.
436
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,439
Enjoy la douce France.
437
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,901
And now something we should have done
the moment we met you.
438
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,865
Come on,
you guys kiss like grandmas.
439
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949
Get in there.
440
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,416
I don't know how we did it,
441
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,544
but we finally
lucked into a great vacation.
442
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,880
In Paris,
a lady makes her own luck.
443
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,965
♪ ♪
444
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,230
Now my favorite part of each trip.
445
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,274
The gifts I brought back
for my friends.
446
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,401
For Carl,
a French Coca-Cola.
447
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,944
Ah, très chic.
448
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,031
For Lenny, a miniature
Empire State Building.
449
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,491
-We had a layover in New York.
-Wow.
450
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:05,037
And for Moe, a belt made
out of a blue snake.
451
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,496
Artificial, I think.
452
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,998
Thank you.
453
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,632
Ook.
454
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,137
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
455
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,935
Subtitled by B. Everdene