1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,628
(Homer grunts)
2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,257
Bring up the couch.
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,633
(grunting)
4
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,555
(sighs)
5
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,185
(clinking)
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,939
(theme playing)
7
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,696
{\an8}CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
8
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,531
{\an8}I'm a return!
9
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,534
{\an8}(theme music playing)
10
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:37,996
(exclaims)
11
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,502
(school bell ringing)
12
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,256
(Barney belches)
13
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,885
(tires screech)
14
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,344
D'oh!
15
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,098
APP: Turn left.
16
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,183
You're the driver.
17
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,477
(horns honking)
18
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,603
-WOMAN: Idiot!
-MAN: Watch it, ya jerk!
19
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:02,937
{\an8}APP: Turn left.
20
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,606
{\an8}Don't look at me. Look at the road.
21
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,857
{\an8}Yes, dear.
22
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,276
{\an8}-(tires screeching)
-(horns honking)
23
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:12,197
{\an8}APP: In 50 feet ago,
U-turn without signaling.
24
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,364
{\an8}Oh...
25
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,991
{\an8}(tires screech)
26
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,744
{\an8}(horns honking)
27
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,829
{\an8}APP: Turn left, into Garbage Alley.
28
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,831
{\an8}-(engine revving)
-(tires screeching)
29
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,335
{\an8}(tires screech)
30
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,087
{\an8}Mmm.
31
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,092
{\an8}Uh, uh...
32
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,594
{\an8}Huh? What? Huh?
33
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,346
{\an8}What the hell do those mean?
34
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,349
{\an8}HOMER:
Can't stop, I have to hit one of them.
35
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:42,060
{\an8}Man or dog?
Oh, it's a Snoopy's Choice.
36
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,853
{\an8}-(sighs)
-I guess your days
37
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,314
{\an8}of eating out of the garbage
are over, Gil.
38
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,358
{\an8}Hey... (yells)
39
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,902
{\an8}APP: I was never here.
40
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,071
{\an8}I saw nothing.
41
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,908
{\an8}Now I do have to warn you, if Gil sues,
42
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,910
{\an8}he'll end up with everything you've got.
43
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,578
{\an8}But that's everything I got.
44
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,081
{\an8}Okay, kids,
give me your best worried looks.
45
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,625
{\an8}Ooh, that's good worry.
46
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,377
{\an8}And, Maggie, when we visit Gil,
47
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,255
{\an8}you should think about your mom
and me disappearing forever
48
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,423
{\an8}any time we step behind a wall.
49
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,970
{\an8}Where am I? Where am I?
50
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,847
{\an8}(footsteps departing)
51
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,474
{\an8}No, seriously, where did I go?
52
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,809
{\an8}It's so dark in here.
53
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,561
{\an8}(shrieks) Maggie!
54
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,646
{\an8}-(pounding on wall)
-(glass shatters)
55
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:32,777
{\an8}Ol' Gil, there must be something
we can do for you.
56
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,737
{\an8}Hmm? Hmm?
57
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,490
{\an8}Ah, there sure is,
you can let me scratch your husband.
58
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,118
{\an8}-Sure, but why?
-Because you're the lottery ticket
59
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,120
{\an8}I've been waiting for all my life!
60
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,872
{\an8}Bam! Zing!
61
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,456
{\an8}Before this goes any further,
62
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,459
{\an8}can you just take one look
at our darling daughters?
63
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,713
{\an8}Mr. Gunderson?
They don't let saxophones in the I.C.U.,
64
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,299
{\an8}so I'll just tell you the song
I wrote for you.
65
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,092
{\an8}B-flat, C, D-flat...
66
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,760
{\an8}-If memory serves, you have a son.
-...B-flat, C...
67
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,596
{\an8}-Where's he at?
-♪ ...Long G ♪
68
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:03,057
{\an8}(imitates old woman)
I'm here to give Mr. Gunderson his shot.
69
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,351
{\an8}Boy, the "putting him in a coma" idea
70
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,103
{\an8}was just dinner table chatter.
71
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,939
{\an8}-I did not sign off.
-You tapped your nose.
72
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,649
{\an8}I was scratching it.
73
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,651
{\an8}Well, I got to put something in a coma.
74
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,739
{\an8}Why, you little...
75
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,699
{\an8}(moans)
76
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,035
{\an8}Well, I'll see you in court. Zing!
77
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,662
{\an8}-Ah, cha-cha-cha!
-Cha-cha-cha?
78
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,498
{\an8}-That's hopeful.
-Cha-cha-ching!
79
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,167
{\an8}Oh.
80
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,756
Your Honor, my client
had just turned his life around.
81
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,175
His daughter recently bought
a washing machine
82
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,052
and promised him the box to live in.
83
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,054
Do you think they'll send
Dad away forever?
84
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,680
Oh, no, sweetie.
85
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,641
They just want all our money.
86
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,810
(gasps) Will they send us
to live with other families?
87
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,689
(horse neighs)
88
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,026
Miss Simpson,
from now on you shall live with us,
89
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,363
receiving musical instruction
from Mr. Adolphe Sax himself.
90
00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,906
-(whoops)
-Adolphe.
91
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:04,244
A name that will only be associated
with beautiful music.
92
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,913
BART:
We'll be free to do whatever we want.
93
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,165
A thousand bucks a kidney?
94
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,167
-Take them both.
-Hmm.
95
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,294
BART: Ay, caramba!
96
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,129
(both sigh)
97
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,801
Mr. Simpson,
you deliberately ran your car
98
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,637
into my paycheck... I-I mean, my client.
99
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,430
No, "paycheck" is better.
100
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,808
What possible defense could you have?
101
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,644
I had no other choice.
I didn't want to hit a dog.
102
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:30,895
-ALL: Aw...
-A dog?
103
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,563
-He saved a dog?
-He was gonna save a dog.
104
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,899
-Wow.
-People love dogs.
105
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985
This is our key to winning this case.
106
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,237
-You're on my side, right?
-I am.
107
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,446
(whoops)
108
00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,449
Now, go ahead, son.
109
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,827
You tell us how you got your dog.
110
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,412
(in Cockney accent)
It was Christmas, sir.
111
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,248
We saved him and he saved us.
112
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,916
Now we love the dog,
113
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,627
and the dog gives us
all the love we could handle...
114
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,962
love.
115
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,297
ALL: Aw...
116
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,299
Could the stenographer
read that last part back
117
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,842
with sentimental music?
118
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,635
-(sentimental music playing)
-(Cockney accent) "The dog gives us
119
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,013
all the love we could handle...
120
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,222
love."
121
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,767
Does the defendant ask this court
122
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,395
to believe that in order
to avoid hitting a dog,
123
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,689
it is acceptable to hit a human--
124
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,065
my client?
125
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,359
It's looking good, Homie.
According to our consultant,
126
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,987
the toughest nut to crack
is juror number six.
127
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,990
Aw, good doggy.
128
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,410
Ladies and gentlemen,
this man is a human being,
129
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,287
just like you or me.
130
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,539
Surely his life has more value
131
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:35,918
than some creature that scoots
its buttocks along the ground.
132
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,545
ALL: Aw...
133
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,798
Or-- Or gets its head stuck
in an empty pickle jar.
134
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,300
ALL: Aw!
135
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,677
Or walks on a hot sidewalk
136
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,513
in a way that suggests it's dancing!
137
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,766
ALL: Aw!
138
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,185
This is ridiculous.
I'm a human being here,
139
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,895
not some dumb animal.
140
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,313
What? I never.
141
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,148
Who are you calling dumb?
142
00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,942
The dogs who sniff for bombs
at the airport?
143
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:04,655
The St. Bernards who save lives
on the slopes of St. Moritz?
144
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,157
Or this one?
145
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,242
(playing "The Maple Leaf Rag")
146
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,498
-(all laughing)
-(Gil moans)
147
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,583
Now, I have a brief instruction
for the jury--
148
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,169
"There's more sanctity in a dog's loyalty
149
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,338
than there is in all your human laws."
150
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,346
-Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how--
-Not guilty. (sighs)
151
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,680
Case dismissed.
152
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,892
We won! It's all because of you, boy.
153
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,394
-Mwah.
-CROWD: Aw...
154
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,354
Aw, I have never been more glad
155
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,189
that I didn't hit you with my car,
156
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,191
secretly bury you,
get another greyhound,
157
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:43,277
paint it your exact coloring,
then realize it's a girl,
158
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,696
stick on a fake wang,
and pretend that she's you
159
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,074
for however long dogs live.
160
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,283
CROWD: Aw...
161
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,663
Take us to the dog park!
162
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,373
(all cheering)
163
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,375
I know I've been through a lot,
164
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,961
but I always believed people
cared about a human being
165
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,796
more than a dog.
166
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,048
HOMER:
Hold it, I forgot my phone charger.
167
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,800
(Gil screams)
168
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,135
(sighs)
169
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,137
(screams)
170
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,638
HOMER: Oh, wait, this isn't mine.
171
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,266
(moans, groans)
172
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,230
{\an8}It's now official--
a Springfield jury has decided
173
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,442
{\an8}that the life of this greyhound
is more valuable
174
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,111
{\an8}than the life of this
Greyhound station inhabitant.
175
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,738
Look at me, I'm a big man.
176
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,073
A big man!
177
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,450
Anybody got a quarter?
178
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,535
Got to be a quarter,
not two dimes and a nickel.
179
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,953
That ain't worth jack.
180
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:36,164
What's your take on all this,
Anger Watkins?
181
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,459
I'm angrier than a beehive
in a paint mixer.
182
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,337
{\an8}This is the craziest legal decision
ever made outside of Arizona.
183
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,423
What's next? Cats get credit cards?
184
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,675
Let a snail race in the Indy 500?
185
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,886
(whispers) Like that stupid movie Turbo?
186
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,555
I tried to inhale nitrous oxide
to get fast.
187
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,516
I ended up naked
behind an appliance store!
188
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,478
Lies! Lies! Lies!
189
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,814
{\an8}Oh, you're gonna get
ten walks a day, boy.
190
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,816
(quietly) You can even bite the mailman.
191
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,234
(whines happily)
192
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,653
There he is.
193
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,156
America's number one doggy daddy.
194
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,617
{\an8}-Would you care to do the honors?
-Would I!
195
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,785
{\an8}Uh, that's what I asked.
196
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,496
{\an8}Would you?
197
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,373
-(shutter clicks)
-You're the greatest man
198
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,958
I know one thing about!
199
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,169
-(cheering)
-(horns honking)
200
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,008
Look at all those voters.
201
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,010
What is our current position on dogs?
202
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,887
We currently have a city employee
203
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,972
who rounds them up
and puts them to sleep.
204
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,974
What? I can't believe such a jerk
205
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,976
would even be elected dog catcher.
206
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,687
From this point forth,
this town will be known
207
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,232
as the dog-loving capital of the world.
208
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,025
That'll put Springfield on the map.
209
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,527
Yeah, why aren't we on the map?
210
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,821
I don't know.
I made, like, 20 calls to Rand McNally.
211
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,782
They don't even know what state we're in.
212
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,327
Thanks to these hastily-passed
untested pandering laws,
213
00:08:56,410 --> 00:09:00,164
Springfield is now
the most dog-friendly city in America.
214
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,624
(crowd cheers)
215
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,376
Er, uh, arf.
216
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,137
♪ ♪
217
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,487
(gasps)
218
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,456
Is there anything here
the dogs haven't gotten into?
219
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,083
Just the dog food.
220
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,168
Why are you shutting me down?
221
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,671
You made a dog wait for a teeth cleaning
222
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,257
while you saved a racehorse's life?
223
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,427
And you call yourself a veterinarian. Ha.
224
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,178
And you know what we found inside?
225
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,555
Dogs in cages.
226
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,724
That's no way to treat man's best friend.
227
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,935
Lock him up. In a cage. Like a dog.
228
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,395
Don't you understand?
229
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,856
Dogs are born to follow and obey.
230
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,733
The moment the pack realizes
231
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,193
that humans are no longer their masters,
232
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:15,114
thousands of years
of domestication will fall away.
233
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:18,034
They'll revert to their wild wolf nature.
234
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:22,038
Well, then I guess you'll be happy
being nice and safe in jail.
235
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,540
Oh, yes, please! Take me there now.
236
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,250
You're all doomed!
237
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,210
Doomed.
238
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,797
Santa's Little Helper
didn't come home last night.
239
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,258
If you were a dog these days,
would you come home?
240
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,886
It's like doggy heaven out there,
only real.
241
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,722
-Doggy heaven isn't real?
-No! No, it's real!
242
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,766
The dogs all have harps and wings.
243
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,851
How do they play harps
if they don't have fingers?
244
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,020
Um... dogs have fingers in heaven.
245
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,980
How do you know so much about dog heaven?
246
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,524
I died for five minutes
and was sent there by mistake.
247
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,152
-Now leave me alone.
-(whining)
248
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,448
Hmm...
249
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,949
Ooh! Come on, girl.
250
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,285
Ow! Ow, ow. Just get him by the collar.
251
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,704
You can do it.
Come on, don't bite me.
252
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,623
Come on. Pull. Come on.
253
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,792
Dad, we don't have time for this.
254
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,752
Quiet. I'm doing something important.
255
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,837
There you go. Yes, that's it!
256
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,090
Well, well, well,
257
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,801
look what the cat dragged in.
258
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,969
-Worth it.
-Totally worth it.
259
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,137
I know.
260
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,639
(dogs barking)
261
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,349
(barking continues)
262
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,230
{\an8}Kirk, Taquito is digging up my dahlias.
263
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,565
{\an8}-Stop him.
-Mm.
264
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,068
{\an8}-Sorry.
-(growling)
265
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,696
{\an8}(gasps) Please don't hurt me.
I'm exposing my belly.
266
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,490
{\an8}See? Exposing. Exposing! (gasping)
267
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,534
(growling)
268
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,244
(dogs snarling)
269
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,082
(growling)
270
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,758
(howls)
271
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,636
(chuckles) See ya later, Moe!
272
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,433
Huh? My car's not starting.
273
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,685
Oh, I see the problem.
274
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:08,978
Out of gas.
275
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,689
Well, probably safer to walk anyway.
276
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,193
Yep, nothing safer than walking.
277
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,154
This is so healthy.
278
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,364
Thanks to this walk,
I'll live a lot longer.
279
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,700
(dramatic music plays)
280
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,622
(dogs growling)
281
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,584
Hey, here come some
of my four-footed friends.
282
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,836
I guess you want to meet the guy
who's responsible
283
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,546
for making all your lives better.
284
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,131
(dogs growling)
285
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,133
Okay, wait a minute. Let me guess.
286
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,427
Collie, dachshund, Tibetan Mastiff,
287
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,554
otterhound, Swedish Vallhund,
288
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,806
Finnish Spitz, Norwegian Lundehund,
289
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,893
Catahoula Leopard Dog, Lagotto Romagnolo,
290
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,311
and three wolves!
291
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,313
(shrieks)
292
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,482
Stand back! Back!
293
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,486
-Ow! Oh!
-(snarling)
294
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,489
You don't scare me.
Your bark is worse than your bite.
295
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,073
(barking)
296
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,992
Oh, those horrible barks!
297
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,703
{\an8}(Homer whimpering)
298
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,954
{\an8}(dogs barking)
299
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,915
{\an8}(yipping)
300
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:14,293
Dr. Budgie warned them.
Dr. Budgie warned all of them.
301
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,337
But did they listen to Dr. Budgie?
302
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,881
All right, that's it. I'm comin' in there!
303
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,758
Oh, for cryin' out... (sighs)
304
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,426
Maybe if I turn sideways.
305
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,012
(grunts) Lou, get the bar butter!
306
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,891
This is what happens
when you buy European prison cells.
307
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,435
-(gasps)
-(growling)
308
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,438
Kids, lower the Purge armor!
309
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,107
-We don't have any Purge armor.
-Oh, right.
310
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,819
I always mean to buy it the day after
the Purge, when it's cheaper.
311
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,154
-What happened?
-The dogs have gone savage!
312
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,781
They've taken over the town!
313
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:44,990
-(howling in distance)
-(whines)
314
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,618
(gasps) No, boy.
Resist the call of the wild.
315
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:50,120
Like I did when they assigned
that book for summer reading.
316
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,039
Somebody help! Stop him!
317
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,000
(laughing)
318
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,169
(grunts) D'oh!
319
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,256
Oh, we've lost him to the pack.
320
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,425
No, he's a good dog.
He'd never turn against us.
321
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,554
Hmm, he's ripping the stuffing
out of your car seats.
322
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,889
Oh, yeah?! You think you're so smart?!
323
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,976
Okay! I'm eating your dog food!
324
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,936
This is on you!
325
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,855
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
326
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,694
(howling)
327
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,740
Hmm. Not one student showed up to school
328
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,826
just because a pack of ferocious,
329
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,495
masterless dogs
are roaming the playground.
330
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,622
-(gunfire)
-GIL: Ow! Damn it!
331
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,458
I thought we sent Willie
out there to deal with them.
332
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,670
Oh, I did. But he, uh, hasn't returned.
333
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,756
I've finally been accepted
for who I truly am.
334
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,009
(howls)
335
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,595
(grunting, snarling)
336
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,682
(dogs snarling)
337
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,684
How come I don't get a dog-proof suit?
338
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,686
Because I smell like lamb, Lou.
339
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,480
Very well.
You were right and we were wrong.
340
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,859
Yes. Um, can you remove the shackles?
341
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,360
Don't push your luck.
342
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,280
These dogs,
they walk around all high and mighty,
343
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,574
no regard for anyone else on the planet.
344
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,534
I mean, that's humans' job!
345
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,203
Repeal the stupid new laws!
346
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,164
Yes. Repeal the dog--
347
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,291
(quietly) and child labor-- laws!
348
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,044
-(crowd murmuring)
-Fine, just the dog ones.
349
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,630
-I say "status," you say...
-CROWD: Quo!
350
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,256
So passed!
351
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,468
Well, everything's back to normal again.
352
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:29,803
It's a pity no one told the dogs that.
353
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,639
-CROWD: Huh?
-Wha?!
354
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,558
You fools have surrendered
your position as alpha dogs.
355
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,102
Until you reassert human dominance,
356
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:41,106
it is you who will be calling
these savage canines master.
357
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,027
Who among you is brave enough
to tame this slobbering horde?
358
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,695
(panicked chatter)
359
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,280
(chatter dies away)
360
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,116
Well, I guess it's up to Ol' Gil.
361
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,411
Gil? Why are you helping these people
who think so little of you?
362
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,080
That's why I'm doin' it!
363
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:59,166
To show everyone
I'm not the town failure.
364
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,627
I thought I was the town failure!
365
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,546
-(chuckles) You're not even that.
-Aw!
366
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,716
-So who will come with me?!
-CROWD: None of us!
367
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,302
-One more time!
-CROWD: Nobody!
368
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,639
-I can't hear you!
-CROWD: Yes, you can!
369
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,517
Standing next to me
370
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,479
is the man whose life we all agreed
was worth less than a dog.
371
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,733
I say we stand behind him
as he redeems himself!
372
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235
Even though he did nothing wrong.
373
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,654
CROWD: Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
374
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,240
Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
375
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,658
Gil, Gil!
376
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,330
We've got to get
Santa's Little Helper back.
377
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,000
(stammers) It's too dangerous!
378
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,752
-You kids ain't goin' nowhere!
-I got this.
379
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,548
(snoring)
380
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,717
Fine. But we can't go out alone.
381
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,053
We need someone who knows
how to fend off angry dogs.
382
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,389
(raving indistinctly)
383
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,307
Here, boy! Come on, boy!
384
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,143
Oh, where can he be?
385
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,978
(Cat Lady moans)
386
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,230
(creaking)
387
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,693
{\an8}(jabbering)
388
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,203
Grampa, I called to make sure
the kids are okay.
389
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,580
They're not okay!
390
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:20,998
The boy's got sass,
391
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,167
and the girl thinks
she's Queen of the May.
392
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,711
You leave 'em with me
and I'll straighten 'em out!
393
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,379
I did leave them with you.
394
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,298
Why the hell would you do that?!
395
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,717
-Here, boy.
-Here, boy. Here, boy.
396
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,218
(squeaking)
397
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,804
(both whimpering)
398
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,558
(gasps) It's the alpha.
399
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,394
(growling)
400
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,730
I know that dog.
401
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:48,400
It's the one Milhouse got
when he didn't wet the bed for a week.
402
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,614
(growling)
403
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,993
We're about to die at the hands of a dog!
404
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,745
Paws. Dogs have paws.
405
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,206
Just remember the last thing
you did in life was correct me.
406
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,166
Oh, that actually makes me feel better.
407
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,668
(snarling)
408
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,842
No! This has gone on long enough!
409
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,594
(yipping)
410
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,638
-You sit!
-(growling)
411
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,932
-(Marge growling)
-(growling)
412
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,976
(yipping)
413
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,686
I'm sorry!
414
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,316
Mom, you've become the alpha dog!
415
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,902
Dogs are nice. I love dogs.
416
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,071
Because, in dogs,
we see the things we wish
417
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:36,198
we saw more of in people--
418
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,576
lifelong friendship, unwavering loyalty,
419
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,704
and a willingness
to eat anything you cook.
420
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,248
You rang?
421
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,416
Ol' Gil's here to save the day!
422
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,293
Where are those out of control pooches?
423
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,796
Sorry, Ol' Gil, you're too late.
424
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,423
But-- But I was supposed to redeem myself
425
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,467
and finally earn the town's respect.
426
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,177
Uh, good job, Gil.
427
00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,806
You had to stop at the Automat
for an egg salad sandwich.
428
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,016
Well, at least
you still have the sandwich.
429
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,893
-(growls)
-Uh... aw...
430
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:09,148
-Baz, you belong with the Flanders'.
-Okily-dokily.
431
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,983
Dalmatian, fire department.
432
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,026
-(barks)
-(siren wails)
433
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,196
-Mr. Burns, the hounds.
-Excellent.
434
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,283
Uh, since you were gone,
all I had to release were the June bugs.
435
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,368
(buzzing)
436
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,578
Ah!
437
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,079
Willie, Skinner.
438
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,081
Aw, good boy.
439
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,084
(howls)
440
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:33,422
♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪
441
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,132
♪ ♪
442
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:39,011
♪ Ooh, you make me live now, honey ♪
443
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,429
-♪ Ooh, you make me live... ♪
-(meows)
444
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,014
You'll have your day.
445
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,016
(meows sadly)
446
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:50,397
It's gonna be hard to cheer myself up
after this day.
447
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,108
-(whimpering)
-Hey, little fella!
448
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,943
You had a bad night, too, huh?
449
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,070
Come on out. I won't hurt ya.
450
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:02,367
(chuckles)
You just licked away a very bad day.
451
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,994
{\an8}(barking)
452
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:05,621
{\an8}Attaboy!
453
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,789
(ominous music playing)
454
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,127
-(dog howling)
-Shh!
455
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,925
Subtitled by B. Ives