1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,006 (thunder rumbling) 2 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,637 I'm scared, Mom. 3 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,097 What if they take me? 4 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,016 Don't worry, Barterfinger. 5 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,851 You're always the last. 6 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,396 Even boxes of stale raisins go before you, Butterfinger-- 7 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,981 I mean, Barterfinger. 8 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,482 (gasps) 9 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,276 No one ever wants the apple. 10 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,987 They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me. 11 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,406 Yeah. That's the reason. 12 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,992 Maybe you'll be dipped in caramel. 13 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,952 Oh, whoop-dee-doo. 14 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,120 (all gasping) 15 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,788 What the... Where am I going? 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,915 You're going to heaven, Dad. 17 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,501 GRAMPA: Those pearly gates look a lot like teeth! 18 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,253 Change is always hard. 19 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,005 Well, I guess that... 20 00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,215 (Grampa screaming) 21 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,301 Cigarette breath! 22 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,306 Oh, thank God. 23 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,058 We made it through the night. 24 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,271 And now you're on a high shelf, 25 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:07,150 where they'll forget about you forever! 26 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,320 (crying): Why won't the earth take me? 27 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,364 I hear you, my friend. 28 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,867 Mmm, candy. 29 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,619 Homer, no! 30 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:18,953 Don't be silly, honey. 31 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,580 Chocolate doesn't feel anything. 32 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,457 No! God, no! 33 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,084 Dad...! 34 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,419 I can't listen to this horror! 35 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,754 Okay, I'm on it. 36 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:28,963 (screams stops abruptly) 37 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,381 Thank you. 38 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,051 (chewing noisily) 39 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,265 ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,148 (The Exorcist theme music playing) 41 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,909 (thunder crashes) 42 00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,994 ♪ ♪ 43 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,507 It's here! Maggie's first Pazuzu! 44 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,342 Your father ordered this because... 45 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,219 Mm, why did you order this? 46 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,054 I thought it was pizza. 47 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,806 Yeah, I'll send it back tomorrow. 48 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,100 Tonight we have a cocktail party. 49 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,935 And we came early. 50 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:27,188 And I left my face on your hand towel. 51 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,773 (Marge grumbles) 52 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,692 Hmm. 53 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,277 (humming a melody) 54 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072 (groans) 55 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,490 Don't worry, Maggie. 56 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,826 While Mommy and Daddy carouse downstairs, 57 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,078 you'll be here in the dark with Pazuzu! 58 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,206 (to "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling): ♪ When Pazuzu's eyes ♪ 59 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,666 ♪ Are glaring ♪ 60 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:50,420 ♪ It's time to go to bed ♪ 61 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,631 ♪ You'll see demon shadows fighting ♪ 62 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,427 ♪ But it's just inside your head ♪ 63 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,431 ♪ When Pazuzu's eyes are staring ♪ 64 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,726 ♪ The moonlight will turn red ♪ 65 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,853 ♪ 'Cause Pazuzu's ♪ 66 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,106 ♪ In your nightmares ♪ 67 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,109 ♪ Until we all ♪ 68 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,987 ♪ Are dead. ♪ 69 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,405 Sweet dreams, Maggie. 70 00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,490 Don't let the Beelzebubs bite. 71 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,034 (door creaks) 72 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,286 ♪ ♪ 73 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,997 -(piano playing) -(lively chatter) 74 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,957 Nobody's eating my chowder. 75 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,376 Maybe I can take it back home with me. 76 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:38,968 Maggie, sweetie, you should be in bed. 77 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,638 (demonic voice): No one leaves alive. 78 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,932 Ooh, her first words! 79 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,558 Did someone get that on their phone? 80 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,727 LENNY: Aw, she's got red eye. 81 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,687 She's a demon from hell! 82 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,606 Also, generic cola? 83 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,899 Really? (chuckles) 84 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,609 Cocktail fail. 85 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:55,860 (groans) 86 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,028 Thank you. 87 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,238 (all screaming) 88 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,619 (cell door slams) 89 00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,080 Well, at least we still got the liquor. 90 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,041 (whines, grunts) 91 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,627 (gurgles) 92 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,212 Ah, my chowder! 93 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,297 Someone's starting the terrible twos. 94 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,757 (chuckles) 95 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,426 (demonic voice): Someone's having an affair with his nurse. 96 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,847 -Say "ah." -A... dulterer. 97 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,058 179? I... 98 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,059 (grunts) 99 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,395 (choking laugh) 100 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:33,815 I'm afraid that little devil needs an exorcism. 101 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,068 I'm afraid they didn't teach me those at Pepperdine. 102 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,403 ♪ ♪ 103 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,072 Bible ribbons, that'll hold her. 104 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,324 (grunting) 105 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,784 -(groans) -(toy siren wailing) 106 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,412 Oh, good, the police are here. 107 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,122 (chokes) 108 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,707 (owl hoots) 109 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,335 When is that exorcist gonna get here? 110 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,795 Marge, we'll be fine. 111 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,964 Maggie just learned what a circle is. 112 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,385 HOMER: Okay, whoever she stops at has to change her diaper, 113 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,721 which appears to contain flaming lava. 114 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,390 MARGE: Oh, you just never want to change a diaper. 115 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,891 (Homer whimpers) 116 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,393 I'll handle this. 117 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:15,315 -(gasps) -(shouting gibberish) 118 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,734 (muffled gibberish) 119 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,819 (losing breath) 120 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,615 Oops. Sorry about that. 121 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,367 First thing, we'll see just how powerful 122 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,703 our demon here truly is. 123 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,580 The chicken goes... 124 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,291 (demonic roaring) 125 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,085 Well, there's only one answer here: 126 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,629 -cut her loose! -Are you sure? 127 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,840 If you can't trust a Catholic priest with a child, 128 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,050 who can you trust? 129 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,134 (Marge groans) 130 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,764 ♪ ♪ 131 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,771 By the power of Christ, I say devil be out! 132 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,439 That's all you've got? 133 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,107 Well, I say it three times. 134 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,359 This guy's good. 135 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,943 Devil be out! 136 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,154 I am Pazuzu, 137 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,324 demon of the southwest wind. 138 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:09,702 Wait, wait, so you're not even as powerful as the south wind 139 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,162 or the west wind? 140 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,747 How lame is that? 141 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,248 I used to be very important. 142 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,500 Google it. 143 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,335 -Devil be out! -(thunder crashes) 144 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,879 Google it! 145 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:24,258 ♪ ♪ 146 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,929 Your baby is saved. 147 00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,764 Fantastic. 148 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,183 She's not going to be a religious weirdo, is she? 149 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,060 -No. -Fantastic. 150 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,311 Now hush. 151 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,480 Pazuzu is still among us. 152 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,815 But where? 153 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,151 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 154 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,486 (gasps) Bart? 155 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,279 (demonic voice): Let me out, let me out! 156 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,990 This boy has the darkest soul I've ever seen. 157 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,910 It's worse than working for David Schwimmer! 158 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,163 Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns. 159 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,373 (Homer chuckles) 160 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,376 Those aren't horns, those are nubs. (laughs) 161 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,878 No, no, no! 162 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,840 (nasally): Well, at least it'll get me out of jury duty. 163 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,425 D'oh! 164 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,263 ♪ ♪ 165 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:13,975 ♪ Lisa, Lisa wants a better life ♪ 166 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:17,937 ♪ Lisa, Lisa, go under the knife ♪ 167 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,899 ♪ Homer, Homer got a button wife. ♪ 168 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,111 So, anyone want to pick up litter 169 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,737 at the park today? 170 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,072 How about you, Maggie? 171 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,241 She's still got a touch of Pazuzu. 172 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,826 At least she never threw up. 173 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,911 (demonic retching) 174 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,669 That's just great. 175 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,796 Everywhere but the sink. 176 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,633 (groans) Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong family. 177 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,552 (cat meowing) 178 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,220 Oh? Hey, Mr. Cat. 179 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,222 What are you playing with? 180 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,016 A secret door? 181 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,019 We don't have smoke alarms, but we have this? 182 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,646 HOMER (in distance): Smoke is its own alarm. 183 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,773 No, no, Snowball, come back! 184 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,859 It's too dangerous! 185 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:12,200 Sometimes tiny doors lead to big opportunities. 186 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,244 -(gasps) You could talk? -Indeed. 187 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,039 For centuries, the cat has been the symbol of intelligence, 188 00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,790 the otherworld savoir faire-- 189 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,375 Ooh, shiny! 190 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,377 Oh, there it is. Where'd it go? 191 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,129 There it is. Where'd it go? 192 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,881 There it is. Where'd it go? 193 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,216 (clears throat) Enough. 194 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,384 Let's go meet your other family. 195 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,720 (gasps) Other family? 196 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:36,641 Already the talking cat isn't the most interesting thing. 197 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,726 -(door creaks) -(Lisa gasps) 198 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:46,609 Whoa! For a Halloween show middle segment, this is amazing. 199 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,694 -(Homer humming a melody) -(Bart chewing noisily) 200 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:54,408 Every girl's dream, a perfect family. 201 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,578 (screams) 202 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,664 Good morning, sleepyhead. 203 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,124 For breakfast, tofu or kale? 204 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,960 Oh, that's nice. 205 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,836 But what's with the button eyes? 206 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,339 We don't all have button eyes, silly. 207 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,049 Some have button mouths. 208 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,842 (muffled): What's up?! 209 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,179 Lisa, would you like to jam with us? 210 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,722 You like jazz? 211 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,522 (lively jazz music playing) 212 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,613 You're all good, but not better than me. 213 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,865 I wish I could stay forever. 214 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,742 Oh, but you can. 215 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,161 All right. Let me guess. 216 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,290 Do you have to sew buttons over my eyes? 217 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,958 Don't worry, sugar plum, 218 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,793 we'll give you a button to bite on 219 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,378 while we sew 'em on. 220 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,755 -Aah! -Hold steady. 221 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,050 (panting) 222 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,052 Oh, sweetie, you're just in time. 223 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,846 I killed a snake with your saxophone and... 224 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,180 Can you blow its head out? 225 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,683 Here, let me just wipe the blood off the mouthpiece. 226 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,560 Buttons, please. 227 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,065 Hmm, something's missing. 228 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,444 Didn't we have a kid between Bart and the baby? 229 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,405 Little smarty pants, plays the flute, I think. 230 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,741 Lisa. She's been gone for days. 231 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,701 And the police have been no help. 232 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,746 That's not true. I helped you reassemble that high chair. 233 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,749 Damn it! 234 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,834 (Wiggum grunting) 235 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,756 Well, we got two kids now, so no favoritism. 236 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,634 Maggie will get Lisa's room, Maggie will get Lisa's clothes, 237 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,218 Bart will get Lisa's homework. 238 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,096 Cowabunga! 239 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,264 (Marge humming) 240 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,433 (gasps) Bart! How'd you find me? 241 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,893 I had an informant. 242 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,062 I know, he can talk. 243 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,147 He can? I just followed him in. 244 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,233 Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him. 245 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,445 Uh, I don't think he's coming back. 246 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,280 How can you be so calm? 247 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,324 I bore both those children. 248 00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,118 Hey, your stories aren't great, but I wouldn't call them boring. 249 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,453 (groans): Oh. 250 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,538 I'm going in there now. 251 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,752 You really did it this time, Homer. 252 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,629 You lost your family. 253 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,923 Wait, you can speak on this side? 254 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,633 Yes, I just don't like to. 255 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,343 Makes the dog feel inferior. 256 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,594 (whining bark) 257 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,595 All right. 258 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,305 (grunting) 259 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,932 Oh! So tight. 260 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,768 Why did I eat that second lunch at lunch? 261 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,645 Someone kick me in the ass! 262 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,313 (grunts) Thank you! 263 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,318 What is it about this world that's so great? 264 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,154 The Homer in this world doesn't pass gas. 265 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,740 That was a three-button job. 266 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,951 Would you like to have two eyes? 267 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,620 We can talk to each other while you watch TV. 268 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,915 Just what Homer needs, an excuse to get lazier. 269 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,375 Why, you little... 270 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:53,587 I'll lazy you, you otherworldly... 271 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,715 -What the... -That was my Bart! 272 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,968 Boy, sure is hard to see with buttons on your eyes. 273 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,970 D'oh! 274 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,055 (gasps) You killed my husband! 275 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:08,477 HOMER: Spider wife, dead son, two girls with button eyes? 276 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,564 I think this marriage has finally gotten out of its rut. 277 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,233 (vacuum whirring) 278 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,194 Yep, I got everything just the way I want it, 279 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:20,322 including an extra me to go to parent-teacher conferences. 280 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,534 Oh! Bart drew this picture of his family. 281 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,745 Now we're getting visits from a social worker 282 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,288 and an exterminator. 283 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,831 I'll be ready. 284 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,835 And I've learned no matter how bad things are, 285 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,796 they can get much, much worse. 286 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,007 (muffled): Huh, you're telling me. 287 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,842 Haw... haw. 288 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,305 (instruments warming up) 289 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,765 -(clears throat) -(instruments stop) 290 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,559 No one will be seated during the third act 291 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,060 of this Halloween show. 292 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,605 What you're about to see is so disgusting 293 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,733 you'll watch Game of Thrones to calm down. 294 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,735 You have been warned. 295 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,820 ♪ ♪ 296 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,542 Man, am I jealous of you guys. 297 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,587 Two weeks in Lima, Ohio, with Patty and Selma 298 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,672 while I'm stuck here working. 299 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,550 It's gonna be lonely. So lonely. 300 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,677 Well, if you really want us to stay... 301 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,846 We've already kissed good-bye and the car heard it! 302 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,809 (tires screeching) 303 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,436 They're gone. Not a second to waste. 304 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,522 (laughing) 305 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,610 (to "On the Road Again"): ♪ Left alone again ♪ 306 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:42,613 ♪ Yes, I'm eating provolone again ♪ 307 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:46,575 ♪ Food just tastes better in the bathroom now and then ♪ 308 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,788 ♪ I just love being left alone again ♪ 309 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,457 ♪ Left alone for days ♪ 310 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:57,086 ♪ I ate two dozen bags of Frito-Lays ♪ 311 00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,506 ♪ I'm gonna brush my teeth with mayonnaise ♪ 312 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:04,134 ♪ Now my sweat tastes just like doughnut glaze. ♪ 313 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,804 (shrieks) 314 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,641 (shrieking) 315 00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,854 Not a single morsel in the house! 316 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,856 (gasps) 317 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,190 A forgotten hot dog. 318 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,985 Oh, you're shivering. 319 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,778 I'll take care of that. 320 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,074 (to "Happy Birthday"): ♪ Happy birthday to meat ♪ 321 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,159 ♪ I can't wait to eat. ♪ 322 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:32,079 -Now to slit it down the middle. -(dog barks) 323 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,873 I'm not splitting it with you. 324 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,833 I'm just teaching you how it's done. 325 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:36,834 (barks) 326 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,711 (groans) 327 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,421 Still frozen. 328 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,425 (screams) My finger! 329 00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,010 My hot dog! 330 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,723 (sizzling) 331 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,391 My finger! My poor... 332 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,726 (moaning) 333 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,519 ...delicious finger. 334 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,396 (sniffs) Wait a minute. 335 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,607 I can't eat my own finger. It's unholy. 336 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,150 Also, it's not quite done. 337 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,278 But sometimes a man has to do the unthinkable, 338 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:07,656 like eat something medium-rare. 339 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,657 Oh! 340 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,284 (fireworks whistling, popping) 341 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,411 -(to "Hallelujah Chorus") -♪ Hey, you ate you ♪ 342 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,204 ♪ You tasted great, you ♪ 343 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,415 ♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪ 344 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,834 ♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪ 345 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,044 -(phone chimes) -Hmm? 346 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,337 Hmm. 347 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,422 (hums softly) 348 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,636 Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. 349 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,679 It makes complete sense. 350 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,475 I eat more and exercise less than the most succulent pig. 351 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,018 Of course I'm delicious! 352 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:39,772 But I must never eat me again. Never! 353 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,273 On the other hand 354 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,150 is my other finger. 355 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,694 And one thing I love is consistency. 356 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,780 (humming "Hallelujah Chorus") 357 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:50,908 Hey, there, Homer Aloner. 358 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:54,078 In the absence of the missus, you want something delicious? 359 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,455 (sighs) 360 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,208 Don't worry, I'll be back. 361 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,714 (wheels squeaking) 362 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,967 Oh. Ooh, yuck. 363 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,677 Oh, disgusting. 364 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,304 Homer Simpson, you don't like steak anymore? 365 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,599 Actually, I've become a bit of a me-gan. 366 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,394 Do you have any spaghetti with my-balls? Uh, meatballs? 367 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,354 "Me-gan? My-balls?" 368 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,856 Are you eating forbidden fruit? 369 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,984 Fruit? Ugh. 370 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,822 Sorry, Flanders, 371 00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:33,325 but I've got more delicious meat in my little finger 372 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,661 than you have on this whole picnic table. 373 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:36,996 Speaking of which... 374 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,499 ("Bustin' Loose" by ReBirth Brass Band playing) 375 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,377 ♪ Whoo ♪ 376 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,087 ♪ ♪ 377 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,770 ♪ Whoo. ♪ 378 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,439 ♪ ♪ 379 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,778 I have really gone to a lot of trouble 380 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,572 not to leave the house. 381 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,323 MARGE (in distance): Homie, we're home! 382 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,324 (shrieks) 383 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,785 What's with the gloves? 384 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,080 Uh, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, 385 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,332 and I thought I could be more elegant. 386 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,668 Elegant? With your waistline? 387 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,545 I don't think so. 388 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,466 Actually, Homer, you look like you've lost 20 pounds. 389 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,509 Well, I have been cutting back. 390 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,511 That means something different to me than you. 391 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,846 What's wrong with your leg? 392 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,140 Nothing. It was perfect. 393 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,725 (Marge grumbles) 394 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,853 (whirring in distance) 395 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:46,065 (groaning) 396 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,943 Homie, you shouldn't be snacking in the middle of the night. 397 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,070 It can't be good for your... 398 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,030 (Marge screams) 399 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,952 This is, without question, 400 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,206 the worst moment of our entire marriage. 401 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,624 -What about... -This is worse. 402 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,209 Opa! 403 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,795 HOMER: Marge, I admit it, this is a rough patch. 404 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,338 But I know when to stop. 405 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,882 And when would that be? When you're just a mouth? 406 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,259 You see how she is, Doc? Always negative. 407 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,719 She makes me feel like nothing. 408 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,055 You are almost nothing! 409 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,640 Almost nothing. 410 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,392 Homer, have you considered your wife's feelings? 411 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,561 Perhaps she takes this new diet of yours 412 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,271 as a comment on her cooking. 413 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,564 Marge? 414 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,817 I won't deny that's a part of it. 415 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,151 See? Progress. 416 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,319 Now, excuse me. 417 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,364 I need to go get famous talking about you. 418 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,950 Homie, I'm afraid this is it. 419 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,745 Your self-destructive behavior has gone too far. 420 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,539 (muffled): But, Marge... 421 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,833 Good-bye, my love. 422 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,127 (sobbing) 423 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,796 Maybe, deep down, that's why I ate myself-- 424 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,090 because I hate myself. 425 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,968 MAN: Sounds like someone had a breakthrough. 426 00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,428 Hi. I'm famous cooker-upper Mario Batali. 427 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,973 -You mean "chef"? -I don't care for that term. 428 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,976 Well, I know I don't belong in therapy, but why are you? 429 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,061 I got depressed because I ran out 430 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,729 of exciting new ingredients. 431 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,399 Homer, we need to talk. 432 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,276 Could we wok and talk? 433 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,777 Well, sure. 434 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,613 (sighs) 435 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,831 HOMER: My dearest family, I love you so much. 436 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:29,001 And I think I've found a way to earn your forgiveness. 437 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,627 Please come home. 438 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,671 Come home to flavor. 439 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,473 He wanted me to pass on these final words. 440 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,933 "I've failed as a man, 441 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,019 but I have succeeded as an ingredient." 442 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,187 I call the brain! 443 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,523 (sighs): Ah. 444 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,483 He's gone. 445 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:57,988 Well, I guess I can be proud that he succeeded at something. 446 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,032 Oh, it's a lot more than something. 447 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,659 Homer's the biggest thing in food since free refills. 448 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,077 (slurping) 449 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,038 (to "Hallelujah Chorus"): ♪ Hey, you ate you ♪ 450 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,207 ♪ You tasted great, you ♪ 451 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,250 ♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪ 452 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,252 ♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪ 453 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,421 How did they get so much meat out of Homer? 454 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,633 Well, they mixed in some Barney, Comic Book Guy and horse. 455 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,134 Horse?! 456 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,180 Do you know what it's like to have everyone 457 00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:24,556 eat of your body? 458 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,141 Yeah, like, every Sunday, pal. 459 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,601 (munching) 460 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,646 Uh, you know, you don't get more of those. 461 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,111 (woman screams) 462 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,990 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH