1 00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:04,713 (今年用一隻火雞赦免總統) 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,590 (歡迎光臨春田核電廠) 3 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,386 (崇高的靈魂讓矮小的人顯得偉大) 4 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:12,721 (胖小子甜甜圈) 5 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,180 (老莫小酒館 代理駕駛可免費喝酒) 6 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:18,685 (我不會再問輔導老師 為何不找好一點的工作) 7 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,568 (距離最近一起意外事故:三天前) 8 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,155 (庫斯提牌糖霜玉米片) 9 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,190 看! 10 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,280 (爸,你看!有個沙發!) 11 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,035 (小姐,注意禮儀,別隨便亂指! 12 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,039 (早上8點了,孩子們快去上班!) 13 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,460 (礦場:孩童入口) 14 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,045 (孩子們!) 15 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,798 (你們忘了你妹妹!) 16 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:38,640 (我們到太深層了) 17 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:44,604 (我要留在這) 18 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,110 (全新的沙發搞笑橋段) 19 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,444 (1917年拍攝) 20 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,494 我是肯恩布洛克曼 21 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,913 我人在春田 身邊是友善的春田市市民 22 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:03,998 (請勿向主播投擲食物) 23 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:04,958 懦夫! 24 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,544 今天,我們共同慶祝美麗的天際花園 25 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,838 這個件數是由荒廢的 春田單軌列車高架軌道 26 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,256 改建的空中花園 27 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,175 -單軌… -單軌… 28 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,553 不,不會再多設新的單軌列車了 29 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:18,555 為什麼?這次一定不會失敗 30 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,223 -不會失敗… -不會失敗… 31 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:24,561 這是大眾運輸的傑作… 32 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,647 (語言漬療師) 33 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,232 再丟我一次! 34 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,610 我們將原本的單軌列車軌道 35 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,487 賦予全新的原創設計 36 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,072 完全抄襲紐約的空中鐵道花園 37 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,491 春田天際花園 38 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,909 (天際花園 爛建築改造的新建設) 39 00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:43,079 我好愛這個地方,有花草樹木和長椅 40 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,915 還有會說話的太陽能智慧垃圾桶 41 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:46,875 (垃圾桶) 42 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:50,003 謝謝你丟了二手色情片 43 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:01,306 這下好了,我們要… 44 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,683 肚子對肚子還是屁股對蛋蛋? 45 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,436 別擔心,我們用過路板來幫你們 46 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,564 -你們兩個胖子,吸氣 -好噁! 47 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,155 我摸走了荷馬的三明治 48 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,823 我摸走了維古姆的槍 49 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,075 今天活動的高潮 50 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,785 就是我們要點亮 51 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,788 這個小小的「禁止吸菸」標誌 52 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,793 (春田天際花園) 53 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,300 (單軌列車) 54 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,886 不知道為啥軌道好像又能用了! 55 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,472 (充電中,21%) 56 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,807 好耶!現在開啟省電模式 57 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,437 單軌列車…重新活過來了! 我警告過你不要… 58 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,411 (春田仙人掌園) 59 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,124 (垃圾桶) 60 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,043 歡迎你,年長市民 61 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,378 (春田市單軌列車車站) 62 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,298 (李奧納德尼莫伊 拯救市民免受單軌列車之苦) 63 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,887 尼莫伊雕像毀了! 64 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:26,808 (單軌慘案詢問處:不回答問題) 65 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,394 往好處想,現在發生這樣的慘劇 66 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:32,188 我們終於超越底特律和喀布爾 67 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,148 成為世界上最不幸的城市 68 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,733 那個… 69 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,654 難道不能把輪子稍微固定住嗎? 70 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,658 抱歉,親愛的 身為市長,我要處理的事情 71 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,077 可比你去做指甲還要複雜得多 72 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:50,164 你漂亮的小腦袋就別管這麼多了 73 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,667 市長先生,這是性別歧視 74 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,129 看來有人氣到馬甲腰封都快炸開了 75 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,674 我都是開玩笑的啦 76 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,968 我是全天下最尊敬女性的人 77 00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,345 麻煩你幫我們遞咖啡和蛋糕 78 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,222 讓我們在場的男人能專心辦正事 79 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,642 這是我最後一次做這種事 80 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,477 所以我要做得非常完美 81 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,479 希伯特醫生,請用 82 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,860 我不敢相信坤比市長 竟然用那種傲慢的語氣跟我說話 83 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,696 再說,現在的女人都不穿馬甲腰封了 84 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,240 我們都穿塑身內衣之類的東西? 85 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,159 我知道,超麻煩的 86 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:34,083 人們覺得時代已經進步了 但這個世界的性別歧視完全沒變 87 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,585 真是謝了,歐巴馬 88 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,503 那個坤比到底有什麼好? 89 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,465 剪綵我也會啊 我還知道怎麼用大剪刀 90 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,884 把彩帶尾端捲成彎彎的 91 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,011 你肯定會是很棒的市長,媽 92 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,888 你很有條理,又會管理預算 93 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:50,099 而且多虧爸 你對美國法院體系瞭若指掌 94 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,478 冷知識 身為被告就不用當陪審團員了 95 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,022 媽,我們的時代來臨了 96 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,315 看看《神力女超人》的例子 97 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,193 如果你是擁有神力的女神 沒有什麼是你做不到的事情 98 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,861 你可以當市長! 99 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,488 且慢… 100 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,200 女人當行政院長,可以 101 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,160 女版《魔鬼剋星》也就算了 102 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,703 美國聯邦儲備委員會找女人當主席 103 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,955 對我來說也沒差,反正我不知道是啥 104 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,499 但是女人當市長? 105 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,919 如果媽當上市長 以後我們就算做壞事也不會被抓 106 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,049 耶穌,請幫助我! 107 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,231 喂,大家都去哪了? 108 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,649 (捲燙染理容店) 109 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,442 瑪姬,我們這小鎮需要改變 110 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,694 坤比已經當了好久的市長 111 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,446 他也該換人做做看了 112 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,448 我們大家心知肚明,好嗎? 113 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:48,783 好了,聽著 114 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,119 致勝的關鍵是「微定位」 115 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,537 微定位 116 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,580 把選民當成一塊派 117 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,209 對,荷馬,有人說到吃的派 118 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,044 我知道,派真好吃 119 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:02,588 不好意思,請繼續說 120 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,467 我們利用數據分析來切分這塊派 121 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,302 將之分成小片 122 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,931 然後針對每一個微群體的需求 提出不同的方案 123 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:15,101 反正就是說一些選民想聽的話 想辦法到過半數的票就對了 124 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,937 接著你只要翹著二郎腿什麼都不用管 125 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,399 我是瑪姬辛普森 126 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,901 你不投我一票嗎? 127 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,195 無論你有什麼困擾 128 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,614 我都優先替你解決 129 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,535 我跟你們同一陣線,向稅務官員抗議 130 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,996 我超不爽稅務官員! 131 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,915 你就是新一代的約翰高爾特 負責針砭時事,對吧? 132 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:42,211 可以請你跟我們的 艾茵蘭德稻草人拍張照片嗎? 133 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:48,426 關心鰥寡人還有吃不飽的遊民 134 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,720 到國外打仗的退伍軍人 135 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,014 每個選民的問題 136 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,850 我都不會忽略 137 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,102 瑪姬,我們真的很感謝你 138 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,022 你是第一個願意 跟我們這些怪咖見面的政治人物 139 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,358 你們這些養珍奇異獸當寵物的人 最大的困擾是什麼? 140 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,819 防止我們的寵物互咬 141 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,280 對,身為黑斑羚的主人… 142 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,616 -我的寵物呢? -天啊… 143 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:12,575 (辛普森對坤比,33%對67%) 144 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,952 不管是地方媽媽還是幫派分子 145 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,371 我會盡量滿足你們的需求 146 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,999 我是瑪姬辛普森 147 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,793 你不投我一票嗎?當然要! 148 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,794 (路易吉餐廳) 149 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,922 為什麼大家都覺得 150 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,091 我就只會餵食發情的狗吃義大利麵? 151 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,384 那你想做什麼? 152 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,304 用木頭雕一個小男孩 然後賦予他生命 153 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:38,351 (辛普森對坤比,45%對55%) 154 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:42,605 (候選人辯論會:請自帶講台) 155 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,107 好的,我們第三和第四黨的候選人 156 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,611 由於你們的民調結果未達標準 157 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,364 所以你們不能參加辯論,再見 158 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,701 辛普森太太 您的主要目標是小眾的選民 159 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,328 你有沒有什麼政見 160 00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,871 能夠照顧到全春田市的市民? 161 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,416 肯特,我是一位母親 162 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,879 站在母親的立場 我希望讓這座小鎮學會多吃蔬菜 163 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,716 蔬菜?瑪姬 164 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,969 身為主持人,我必須站出來說句話 165 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,387 大部分的蔬菜都很噁心 166 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,888 我這是暗喻法 167 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,350 什麼爛暗喻,我只喜歡明喻法 168 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,060 我喜歡暗喻法 169 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,938 就像耳邊滴落在花瓣上的雨滴聲 170 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,356 你還不是用了「就像」… 171 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,400 少得意了,走著瞧 172 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,988 她這下肯定穩死的 173 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,615 不像她聚餐帶來的雞還半生不熟 174 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,200 海倫講話真是酸溜溜 175 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,494 就跟她聚餐帶來的檸檬汁一樣酸 176 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,372 上次的聚餐實在很爛 177 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,041 這不是市民會議嗎? 178 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,836 我想看他們在凳子上練平衡 179 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,675 你們知道,我這一生 180 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,011 看著那愚蠢的輪胎燒個沒完沒了 181 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,804 它毀了我們的小鎮 182 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,307 -是啊…真的是這樣… -真的… 183 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,267 我保證,如果你們選我當市長 184 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:02,226 我絕對會把火給撲滅 185 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,270 -好啊… -太好了 186 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,817 所以輪胎不會再著火了? 就跟蘇黎世一樣 187 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:13,988 (辛普森對坤比,54%對46%) 188 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:17,700 票數夠了嗎? 189 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,827 隨著最後一次提醒年長的市民朋友們 190 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,079 不能在早餐店投票這句話 191 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,581 選舉結果出來了 192 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,626 見證歷史的時刻 瑪姬辛普森當選我們的新任市長 193 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,754 第一位女性市長 也是第二位坐著尿尿的市長 194 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,465 -瑪姬… -瑪姬… 195 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,633 謝謝各位 196 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:34,925 (春田市投票處 我支持髮型超正的瑪姬) 197 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,137 小荷馬,你想跟市長親熱嗎? 198 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,097 什麼?不要!好噁! 199 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,184 天啊,你是在說你呀 200 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,188 好啊 201 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,231 早知道我就去投票了 202 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:55,029 (春田市政府) 203 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,739 (市長辦公室,坤比市長) 204 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,408 耶! 205 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,786 你們看我!我是公務人員! 206 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:02,995 帥啦! 207 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,083 我們的新市長 正在進行以前坤比從來沒做過的事 208 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:08,542 那就是有所作為 209 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,087 推土機出動! 210 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,132 (春田輪胎焚燒院) 211 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:20,763 抱歉 212 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,974 但我不能讓你們害得我沒生意做 213 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,060 (火燒輪胎紀念品店) 214 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:30,773 你就為了賣這些小玩意兒 讓我們整個小鎮充滿空氣污染? 215 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,567 小玩意兒?在你看來或許沒什麼 216 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:37,113 但這些東西可是讓我賺錢 供我兒子讀完醫學院 217 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:40,324 他還以我命名一個口吃症患者 218 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,368 就是… 219 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:43,869 你知道的 220 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:48,791 我失敗了,我連唯一的承諾都做不到 221 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,460 (騙子,騙子,輪胎都著火了) 222 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,629 瑪姬辛普森已經讓大家失望了 223 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,465 自從瑪米艾森豪 在她的丈夫總統艾森豪就職當天 224 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,135 砸爛一間鋼琴店導致其聲勢下滑之後 這是第二次政治人物支持度驟降 225 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,722 (演出畫面,可能不是真實情況) 226 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,598 媽,要不要吃午餐? 227 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,392 我也很想午休一下 228 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:09,311 但我必須先把火燒輪胎的事處理好 229 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,231 你已經開始忽略家人了嗎,市長? 230 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,775 你這小鬼!不要讓你媽難堪! 231 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,698 (春田市) 232 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,752 你們快住手! 233 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,963 我是市長,你們所做的一切 都會影響到我的形象 234 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,465 當然啦,親愛的 235 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,425 只是當我們凌駕於法律之上的時候 236 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:40,926 實在很難規範自己守規矩 237 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,803 我們並沒有凌駕於法律之上 238 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,722 好啦…我知道了 239 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,307 (我們凌駕於法律之上) 240 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,266 (但是辦公室被人監聽了) 241 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,684 我要你答應我 242 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:52,104 你們兩個能不能跟麗莎學一下? 稍微像她一點就好? 243 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,649 -人家是麗莎… -人家是麗莎… 244 00:12:55,733 --> 00:13:00,279 -我喜歡聽音樂 -我男朋友是花椰菜 245 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,573 喂! 246 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,034 我們要買下你的攤子 247 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,369 我不賣 248 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,289 我只想幫春田市做點事 249 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,792 現在卻因為這傻蛋而束手無策 250 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,630 你怎麼能這樣侮辱我? 我當年可是參戰過! 251 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,216 怎樣?什麼東西? 252 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,717 克萊德是越戰的退伍軍人 253 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,303 他是「傻蛋之戰」的生還者 254 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,223 -謝謝你 -「謝你」是他當年最好的朋友 255 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,017 他在「雙關語戰役」時誤觸地雷身亡 256 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,269 你這樣實在很不好,瑪姬 真的很不好 257 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,813 不… 258 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,731 瑪姬積極地到處作為 259 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,691 反而製造了一連串的麻煩 260 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,736 此外,我們的新聞節目 現在只能說兩句話 261 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,862 晚安 262 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,698 現在只有一個辦法 你必須現場直播 263 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,284 完全不按照腳本唸稿 真正對你的選民掏心掏肺喊話 264 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,537 -這是你的腳本 -我不想要腳本 265 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,538 你瘋了嗎? 266 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,374 晚安 267 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,793 我在這裡要跟你們一對一聊聊 268 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,838 以一個普通母親的身分 坐在廚房裡跟你們說些話 269 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,548 (焦點小組) 270 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,882 這下完蛋了 271 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,134 我以前見過情勢逆轉的情況 272 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,344 但這麼多人反感還是頭一遭 273 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,390 瑪姬,晚餐什麼時候做好? 274 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,183 我正發表演說到一半 275 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,395 -那就6點吃飯囉? -該吃飯的時候就會叫你吃飯 276 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,856 等等,他們開始產生好感了 277 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,484 瑪姬,用烘乾機可以微波食物嗎? 278 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,361 荷馬辛普森 279 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,364 你就只有嘴巴裡有東西吃的時候 才肯閉嘴 280 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,824 什麼? 281 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,746 就這樣,她把她老公這個矮胖子 282 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,583 變成逗大家笑的開心果 這樣真的可行嗎? 283 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,877 目前的數據還不賴 284 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,962 根據民調結果顯示,成效卓著 285 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,381 我簡直媲美民意測驗專家 凱莉安康威 286 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,591 凱利安康威? 287 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,135 我喜歡她 她看起來永遠像剛起床的樣子 288 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,055 女人也可以成為「宣傳天才」 約瑟夫戈培爾,太勵志了! 289 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,141 -是啊… -是啊… 290 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,812 -瑪姬,我們有麵包嗎? -你吃你胸口的麵包渣吧 291 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,648 (焦點小組) 292 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:00,691 好耶! 293 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:02,651 我的天啊! 294 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,069 這是我見過現任市長 295 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,654 最高的支持度 296 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,281 竟然有53%! 297 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,745 (春田市政府) 298 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,582 瑪姬,你的支持度實在太高了 299 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,627 你只需要把你老公推下水就行了 300 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,714 別跟我說你覺得 把你老公推下水很過分 301 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,966 如果我還推得動他,我就偷笑了 302 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,386 -讚啦! -是啊,讚啦! 303 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,639 (塞到滿三明治店) 304 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:35,017 辛普森先生 我們決定以你來為三明治命名 305 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,937 我人生最大的夢想實現了 306 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,396 這些都在我的計畫之中 307 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,149 以魯賓三明治為基底,全部料都要加 308 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,901 然後再加上總匯三明治 309 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,153 最下面的部分,乍看之下 310 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,030 是炸牛排 311 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,074 但是仔細一看… 312 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,326 先生…我們已經做好了 313 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,996 「大口火雞飯桶三明治」? 314 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,248 這一點都不像我 315 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,250 但我要六份 316 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,045 我們很榮幸邀請到市長… 317 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,675 以及她的蠢蛋先生,荷馬辛普森 318 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:13,681 荷馬讓瑪姬開心了三次! 比往常都還要更開心! 319 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,102 我們今天齊聚一堂 是為了非常嚴肅的慈善事業 320 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:21,105 -拯救鯨魚 -好了,夠了! 321 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:23,732 不,這真的是我們今天來的原因 322 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,859 (拯救鯨魚,上帝創造的溫柔巨獸) 323 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,236 我不是鯨魚! 324 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,447 我只是跟鯨魚一樣肥厚的人! 325 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:39,289 (拯救鯨魚,上帝創造的溫柔巨獸) 326 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,920 今天對我們小鎮來說是重要的日子 327 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,756 我們跟圖書館員工會達成協議 328 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:48,716 小聲點 329 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,009 本來荷馬也要出席的 330 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,844 但他聽說圖書館沒有立體書 331 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,554 就決定不來了 332 00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:01,937 (圖書館) 333 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,772 (市長) 334 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,274 好消息,瑪姬 335 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,985 你終於找到男人女人 都能達成共識的切入點了 336 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,778 那就是丈夫全都是白癡 337 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,238 我猜是吧 338 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,323 你繼續猜吧 我要繼續要這個方法造勢 339 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,868 你看看我們 為了感恩節大遊行製作的氣球 340 00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,371 我不管別人怎麼說 341 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,458 我的小荷馬是最性感的氣球 342 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,837 我必須找人聊一聊 343 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,884 (坤比家族濱海莊園) 344 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:38,348 -坤比市長? -不,我只是一介平民阿喬 345 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:39,767 我知道你的表情想說什麼 346 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,686 要不是你市長做不下去了 就是你想離婚 347 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,065 這兩件事我都有經驗,確實 348 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,693 阿喬,到底有沒有可能兼顧家庭生活 349 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,945 同時又成為優秀的政治領袖? 350 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,031 瑪姬,我已經不想談政治的事了 351 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:57,117 但我告訴你,我的退休生活過得很好 352 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,744 我離開辦公室的第一晚 353 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,246 我發現有個美麗女子躺在我旁邊 354 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,333 我心想「天啊,她竟然是我老婆」 355 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,834 去吧,孩子們 356 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,468 瑪姬,婚姻裡沒有「市長」這個角色 357 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,637 彷彿有,就差一點點 358 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,013 但事實上沒有 359 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,849 晚點在船屋見? 360 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:23,477 瑪姬,我想要謝謝你 361 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,063 把我的喬瑟夫還給我 你要不要留下來坐一下? 362 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:28,607 我剛做了一大壺的琴蕾雞尾酒 363 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,984 如果你要留下來,我就多做一點 364 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:32,736 不了,我得趕回去 365 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,697 我們要在第四街舉行人孔蓋揭幕儀式 366 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,660 -真可惜 -你不能待一會兒嗎? 367 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,704 我們需要有人幫忙遞咖啡和蛋糕 368 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,124 我發誓以後再也不會幫這種忙 369 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,417 吃完還有喔! 370 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,254 (第四街人孔蓋揭幕儀式) 371 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,256 謝謝,如果沒有我的丈夫 372 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,507 我今天不可能站在這裡 373 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,887 他給我很大的支持,非常大… 374 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:03,517 (他去吃一道菜一千美金的晚餐) 375 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,185 (結果總共吃了兩萬美金) 376 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,524 (我支持髮型超正的瑪姬) 377 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,568 他對我來說很重要 378 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:15,237 我希望你們都能知道他內心的愛 379 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,699 各位,看看內心深處的自己 380 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,993 找到你們心中的荷馬辛普森 381 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,790 (第四街人孔蓋揭幕儀式) 382 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,881 真是太美了 383 00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,802 我們真是一對神仙伴侶,寶貝 384 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,227 (八年後 瑪姬辛普森市立圖書館) 385 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:48,854 (我支持髮型超正的瑪姬 瑪姬當道) 386 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,772 (第一次與外星人接觸) 387 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,110 (讓瑪姬搞定一切) 388 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,654 (2022年糖蜜大洪水) 389 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,698 (彈劾與恥辱) 390 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,408 可以跳過這裡嗎? 391 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,285 我也想啊,但我們要去餐廳 392 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,745 還是得經過才行 393 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,455 好吧 394 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,208 (春田市顧客報,市長換人做)