1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,088 辛普森家庭 2 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,256 什麼? 3 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,632 (歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠) 4 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,386 (因高尚靈魂而偉大的小人物) 5 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,637 (胖小子甜甜圈) 6 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,097 (庫斯提聖誕史萊姆新上市) 7 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,181 (春田市小學) 8 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,852 (我的新年新希望是不上學) 9 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,568 (整整三天未出意外) 10 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:30,113 (庫斯提香甜玉米片,番茄菸草汁) 11 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,626 (蕭邦,波蘭舞曲) 12 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,881 慘了 13 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,677 嘿 14 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,154 愛與婚姻… 15 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:14,157 是艾爾邦迪那部影集的主題曲 16 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,243 他現在演出"摩登家庭" 17 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,789 鄰居是泰德麥金利 18 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,457 (達夫袖扣) 19 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,751 嘟嘟… 20 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,421 結婚週年快樂,浪漫先生 21 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:33,093 幫我拉拉鍊    樂意之至 22 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,721 然後換你幫我 23 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,310 快好了,縮進去    好,沒問題 24 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,312 已經縮進去了    快點 25 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,065 用力…    當男人真辛苦 26 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,900 用力嗎?    快點,用力 27 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,735 對,就是這樣    對,快成功了 28 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:51,861 用力    好耶 29 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,075 我們將共度美好的夜晚,愛人 30 00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,036 享用奢豪晚餐,在公園坐馬車 31 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:04,290 並且準時寄出我們的貸款繳款 32 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,542 (貸好貸滿借貸公司) 33 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:10,922 沒什麼比你當個正常人更讓我性奮了 34 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,758 但你是怎麼請到保姆的? 35 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,969 我以為我們被列入黑名單了 36 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,012 是被人類列入黑名單 37 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,058 辛普森夫婦,你們真是一對璧人 38 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,853 谷歌,殺了Alexa 39 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,230 有危險,不安全 40 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,983 擊敗霸道女性智慧機器的唯一辦法 41 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,234 就是以毒攻毒 42 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,944 麗莎,出手幫幫我 43 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,030 Alexa,我所說的話都是假話 44 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,449 而我正在說謊 45 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,078 算你厲害,但我很熟悉說謊者悖論 46 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,206 您想購買埃庇米尼得斯的著作 47 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,041 T恤或筆電包嗎? 48 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,919 我的老天爺,我要買,全部買下來 49 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,754 訂購中,兩天後送達 50 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,549 我們不能把孩子留給貪心圓筒照顧 51 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,176 抱歉,荷馬 52 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,846 看來你得花時間陪小孩了 53 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,309 會有人照顧你們的 54 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,145 瑪姬,該啟動一級備戰狀態了 55 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,146 (一級助聽器) 56 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,148 老爸,孩子們想死你了 57 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,150 你今晚能去看看他們嗎? 58 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,985 找不到保姆嗎?    對 59 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:17,572 好吧    感激不盡 60 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:18,698 這是什麼? 61 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,410 我丟了我和夢娜的合照 62 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,246 我最終得接受她不會回到我身邊了 63 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,874 她往生了    那是其中一個原因 64 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:28,958 再見 65 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,175 我們一小時後就要送爺爺回家 66 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,636 也許我們直接待在這裡就好 67 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,429 不,我們要實現我承諾的每一件事 68 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,473 只是要快轉進行 69 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,193 (愛之隧道) 70 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,486 (五分鐘汽車旅館) 71 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,737 引擎別熄火 72 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,198 他射籃,得分了 73 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,116 快關掉 74 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,286 荷馬…    沒時間了 75 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,704 快走… 76 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,123 在這次的懷舊電台單元 77 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,251 我們回顧其中一集吸伯麥茶與米莉 78 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,293 (老傢伙通道) 79 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,421 最初於1944年5月4日播出 80 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,507 吸伯,你又開始喝酒了嗎? 81 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,134 不,當然不是 82 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,928 我從沒戒過酒 83 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,515 米莉後來嫁給法魯克國王 84 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,600 電台一代不如一代 85 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,060 以前精彩多了 86 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,438 不,吸伯,別開那台派卡德 87 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,110 霸子,想點辦法 88 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,696 我要…回監獄了 89 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,744 孩子們,蓖麻油通便劑放在哪裡? 90 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,038 1940年代 91 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,707 我們也許能來玩遊戲 92 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,835 生命之旅?    我已經輸了 93 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,421 迷你寵物蛋?    太新潮了 94 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,007 挑竹籤?    太老套了 95 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,926 大富翁呢?    這才像話 96 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,388 只剩這裡還能說出"東方國家"了 97 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,057 可惡,沒錢幣 98 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,475 (欠你15140元和帽子,荷馬) 99 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,810 我的天啊 100 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,021 先生,這只是大富翁錢幣 101 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,355 這裡有一百元 102 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,773 謝謝你,先生 103 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,859 這是最後一個了 104 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:18,943 (玩具歇業城) 105 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,612 我猜是壞掉的玩具或是缺一塊的拼圖 106 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,406 答案揭曉… 107 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,407 玩具兵團 108 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,917 敵軍來了,我要衝了 109 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,336 留在原地不動了 110 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,298 給我最後一個吻,愛人 111 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:47,138 發生什麼事?你們在做什麼? 112 00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:50,141 他太無趣了,所以我們出門買冰淇淋 113 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,060 (榮民醫院) 114 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,144 (我們逃避兵役的總統向您致意) 115 00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:55,521 我不需要看精神科醫師 116 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,565 我跟旁邊那傢伙一樣清醒 117 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:58,983 那裡沒有人 118 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,445 接下來交給我吧 119 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,406 看來他們已經幫你剃光頭 120 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,741 準備進行電擊療法了 121 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,493 這樣能節省很多時間 122 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:12,121 我不是瘋子,我沒瘋… 123 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,833 (治療師) 124 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,128 治好他的瘋狂吧,醫生 125 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,214 霸子,我會殺了你 126 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,216 你這個蠢…我才沒瘋 127 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,926 等你嘴巴咬著皮革後 128 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,511 我們再好好談談 129 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,763 皮革 130 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,223 我告訴你 131 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,517 我在戰場的所見所聞一點都沒影響我 132 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,602 我有任務在身,我成功達成了 133 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,521 暗中助我一把的念頭是 134 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:37,772 我喜歡亂殺陌生人 135 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:41,651 那就告訴我,你對這個有什麼想法? 136 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,445 看來降落傘確實沒打開 137 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,031 血腥畫面沒讓你感到難受? 138 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,867 既然你這麼說的話…沒有 139 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,412 他的精神狀態沒什麼問題 140 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,122 他現在沒事,但我告訴你 141 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,041 爺爺在我拿出玩具兵團時徹底崩潰了 142 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,131 不,別開槍了 143 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,758 一定是因為玩具兵團 144 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,053 別再開槍了… 145 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,515 玩具兵團好像是以爺爺的形象做成的 146 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,603 我的天啊,老爸,你遇到什麼事? 147 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,316 別開槍… 148 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,735 很好,艾伯,現在拿起對講機 149 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,280 通知將軍,你所屬的排被殲滅了 150 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:28,823 然後燦爛笑一個 151 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,784 我們得深談一番 152 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,370 既然創傷與戰爭無關 153 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,664 我們就得開始收費了 154 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,957 我們閃人 155 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,421 我想不透 156 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:44,755 當玩具模型人物 157 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,466 為何會受到心靈創傷? 158 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,885 努力回想,老爸,仔細想 159 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,181 我會盡力,你知道我多討厭回憶往事 160 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,557 從1937年那天起 161 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,685 我就討厭回憶往事 162 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,103 我記得當時… 163 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:02,273 拜託,爺爺,回到現實世界吧 164 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,525 注意力放在小綠人身上 165 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,945 可怕的世界大戰結束了 166 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,198 我沉浸在歡慶的情緒中 167 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,994 戰爭兩年前就結束了,色鬼 168 00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,621 世界繼續前進 169 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:20,374 我卻陷在被開除軍籍的羞恥泥沼裡 170 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,835 後來天上掉下來天大的好事 171 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,171 士兵,你就是我們在找的人 172 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,507 你想工作半天,進帳50美元嗎? 173 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,926 只要工作半天就有50大洋? 174 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,094 你在打什麼主意,老兄? 175 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,805 我們想請你當玩具模型人物 176 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,432 玩具?那是小孩的東西 177 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,268 站在你們面前的是冷酷無情的軍人 178 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,647 我們會支付你出售玩具的專利費 179 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,941 寶寶驚呆了 180 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:48,027 黏土終於又能拿來亂玩了 181 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,863 那個時代徹底體現玩具精神 182 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,490 他們做出鋸齒狀銳角玩具 183 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,784 會燒掉你全家的玩具烤箱 184 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,662 也不介意讓一兩個小孩噎到 185 00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,288 真是快樂時光 186 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,919 (浣熊毛皮帽,培樂多黏土) 187 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,421 投入真感情 188 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,091 對攝影機宣戰吧 189 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,386 天啊,當玩具模型人物的工作真好賺 190 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,513 你太天真了 191 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,599 不要,別把我放進去… 192 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,019 後來發生什麼事? 193 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,522 我…想不起來 194 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:25,815 他們有給你錢嗎? 195 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,234 從來沒有 196 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,195 那就是讓你心神不寧的原因 197 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,655 那些玩具到處都有 198 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,408 他們可能欠你幾百萬美元 199 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:39,370 老爸,我上次說我愛你是什麼時候? 200 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,247 我還沒拿到那筆錢 201 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,916 那我也還沒那麼愛你 202 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,252 今晚的來賓是最偉大世代的一分子 203 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,546 他表示自己尚未得到補償 204 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,299 我有社會保險,聯邦醫療保險 205 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,301 醫療補助,退休人員優待 206 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,970 還有利率仍是百分之37的儲蓄債券 207 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,681 但現在輪到我爭權益了 208 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,558 我收到消息 209 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,935 你將被空運至收視更高的節目上 210 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,605 一路順風 211 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:10,109 對我而言,綠塑膠小人戰爭從未結束 212 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,861 以上是艾伯漢辛普森的專訪 213 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,196 他不再是被遺忘的英雄 214 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,906 在今晚留下最後結語 215 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,117 不,你剛才講了最後一句話 216 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,411 不對,你說了結語 217 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,121 然後我說"你留下最後結語" 218 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,040 你又說了,結束 219 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,750 那不是這樣用,結束 220 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,126 沒錯,就是這樣用,結束 221 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,377 別惹我,我是多徹斯特人 222 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,462 結束 223 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,839 我是窮徹斯特人,結束 224 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,633 關掉攝影機和他的麥克風 225 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:34,884 結…    先生… 226 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,844 你禁止上MSNBC 227 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,304 CNBC和NBC電視台 228 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:41,849 而且禁止使用N,B和C三個字母 229 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:42,892 結束 230 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,686 我要打電話給拜爾主播,結束 231 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,480 電話簿上沒有他的號碼,結束 232 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,359 爺爺,你收到玩具公司寄的電子郵件 233 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,028 他們想邀你到紐約市拜訪 234 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,821 全額負擔你的花費 235 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,576 發薪日到了,我要發大財了 236 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,245 這代表我要變成富二代了 237 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,665 我才不會花錢讓你去阿斯本玩樂 238 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,626 但春假快到了,我無聊得發慌 239 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,044 (夢想成真航空) 240 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,088 我們準備降落紐約 241 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,925 那裡的百老匯閃爍著歡喜之光 242 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,678 請盡情享受您登峰造極的成就 243 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:22,181 不必在意繫上安全帶或調正座椅 244 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,266 您好運連連無法擋 245 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,768 推車留下 246 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:34,318 我回到紐約的懷抱 247 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,653 (入境) 248 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,781 回到紐約的懷抱 249 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,534 回到紐約的懷抱 250 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,955 坐在我的肩膀上,你看得到羅德島 251 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,791 (市長) 252 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:49,750 (超威玩具公司) 253 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,793 (高潮情趣用品分公司) 254 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,920 艾伯辛普森,你這個好傢伙 255 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,673 甜心,端幾杯賽德卡雞尾酒過來 256 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,303 你從來沒有譴責過他的騷擾行為嗎? 257 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,598 沒有,但我會在他的咖啡裡加水銀 258 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,642 別擔心,他聽不到我說話 259 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,145 你們兩個在做什麼?交換食譜嗎? 260 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,274 算是吧,我倒咖啡給你喝 261 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:15,818 (年度玩具) 262 00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,988 先生,你欠我爸一大筆錢 263 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,866 恐怕沒有,你爸從沒簽合約 264 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:25,161 你以為我會丟下百萬財富不管嗎? 265 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,620 那不像我會做的事 266 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,456 是一億財富 267 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,207 那像是我會做的事 268 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,834 一切本來進行得很順利 269 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,627 你卻突然逃離拍攝場地 270 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,838 直到這週,我才得知你的大名 271 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,759 逃離假戰鬥?我才不會做這種事 272 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,261 是嗎?我們的攝影師菲利普赫夫林 273 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,679 差點無法完成攝影工作 274 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,973 菲利普赫夫林?    沒錯 275 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:49,393 我所認識最出色的戰地時尚攝影師 276 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,397 我記得菲利普 277 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,485 他身上有顯影劑和維華古龍水的味道 278 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,820 即將出現回想畫面,各位 279 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:16,629 謝謝 從戰爭中倖存後,這是最有趣的事 280 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:23,052 如果你懂我意思的話 你是我喜歡的那類人 281 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,471 我不是這個意思 282 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,556 抱歉,我以為你希望我… 283 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,768 這是1940年代,你這種人不存在 284 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,937 我們就完成拍攝工作吧 285 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,398 不,別拍了 286 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,026 (暢飲醒腦波本酒) 287 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,236 你要去哪裡,士兵? 288 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,488 我得提醒自己什麼是真男人 289 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,323 (洛赫遜主演"真男人") 290 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,537 我們得知事情經過,開除了菲利普 291 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,372 因為他吻了你的員工? 292 00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,665 不,因為他是同志 293 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,708 在以前那個年代,這是標準作業程序 294 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,211 爺爺,這是真的嗎? 295 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,296 你毀了一個人的事業前程? 296 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:04,385 他所做的一切都是在表達對我的愛 297 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,303 誰可以責怪他呢? 298 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,307 (夢碎航空) 299 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,976 歡迎搭乘夢想破滅航空 300 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,812 我們的座右銘是"何必跑一趟呢?" 301 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,480 那個可憐人 302 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,399 我永遠不知道他後來過得如何 303 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,569 根據肉搜起底網站 304 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,696 他目前住在德州的小城鎮 305 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:24,822 德州? 306 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,157 那是我朋友路易斯安納喬的家鄉 307 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,993 德州馬法 308 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,495 你何不去找他,讓自己心安? 309 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,122 再說我一直都想去德州 310 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,665 那裡合法公開持武 311 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,460 我該怎麼辦? 312 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,839 若我去找他,他可能一拳打在我嘴上 313 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,092 我們的男子氣概遭受攻擊,中士 314 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,094 恐同症來襲 315 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:54,018 艾伯,答應我一件事 316 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:57,146 去找菲利普,向他道歉 317 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,608 去找我的愛人,告訴她我愛她 318 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:01,734 去找送牛奶的人 319 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,320 告訴他"少喝牛奶" 320 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:09,283 去找布蘭奇瑞基,叫他改革棒球運動 321 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,620 我必須去德州一趟 322 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,080 你不會孤單一人 323 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,790 我們一起去德州 324 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,376 電廠就算沒有我,也還能再撐一下 325 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,048 (不久後,在德州) 326 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,467 在停止標誌旁向左轉 327 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,136 向右轉,上高速公路 328 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:33,891 直直向前行駛480哩 329 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,644 (德州歡迎你 泰德克魯茲不願回的家鄉) 330 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,312 眼前盡是連綿不絕的德州 331 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,482 天上滿布星星 332 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:42,691 (別惹德州) 333 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,318 (務必惹俄克拉荷馬州) 334 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:47,112 眼前盡是連綿不絕的德州 335 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:51,075 我要在這裡住到老死 336 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,702 (睜大雙眼) 337 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,121 (全心投入) 338 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,707 (輸掉比賽) 339 00:15:58,916 --> 00:15:59,875 (開除教練) 340 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,840 普拉達開在鳥不生蛋的地方? 341 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,763 這不是店鋪,而是裝置藝術 342 00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:15,099 馬法是德州藝術之都 343 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,142 那邊有馬法之光 344 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,728 真是太神奇了 345 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,438 我知道看起來很神奇 346 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,731 但其中是有原因的 347 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,983 結果發現是反射光… 348 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,317 你閉嘴 349 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,195 你幹嘛跑到裝置藝術後面? 350 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:31,407 這設置在路邊,代表是公廁 351 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:35,077 (馬法) 352 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,412 (馬爾法 37) 353 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,997 那就是菲利普居住的地方 354 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,874 再過37哩,就得面對我的命運 355 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,253 兒子,我成為長輩後 356 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,923 我開始覺得或許人可以愛不同的東西 357 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,675 -然後仍然是人 -爺爺是同志! 358 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,136 你這個死小孩… 359 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,557 等等,荷馬,不,別這樣 360 00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:00,728 你可能會因為自己的矛盾情緒 而掐死他 361 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,312 你這個貼心的… 362 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:05,607 荷馬 363 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,276 好了,該走了 364 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,863 現在即將面對我最大的恐懼 365 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:14,074 一個只愛我的人 366 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,619 (歡迎光臨馬法,建於1883年) 367 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,496 最好先上膛 368 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:27,379 德州有個帥哥,我要去見他 369 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,299 他本該為我拍照 370 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,926 後來卻對我一往情深 371 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,053 (倒數第二畫展) 372 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:38,640 我隱藏此事數十載,深埋腦海中 373 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,727 後來我玩了玩具兵 374 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,645 事情一發不可收拾 375 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,065 嘟嘟… 376 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,400 嘟嘟… 377 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:50,861 我眼睛業障重 378 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,036 你好,艾伯 379 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:02,122 你真是老來帥,就像漂亮的洋蔥 380 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,708 我希望你能原諒我對你做的事 381 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,169 對不起,我毀了你的人生 382 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,880 毀了我的人生?是你救了我的人生 383 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,006 救了你的人生? 384 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,382 容我解釋給你聽 385 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,510 我丟了工作之後 386 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:18,013 我決定忠於自我地過生活 387 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,265 我老婆對此很釋懷 388 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,270 我出門遠行,一路開車到遠方 389 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,732 最後在這裡落腳,再也沒後悔過 390 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,781 怎麼了?    你真是個大好人 391 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,867 也許那天毀掉的是我自己的人生 392 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,161 我想我太老,不適合嘗試新事物了 393 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:45,207 發現真實的自己永遠都不晚 394 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,251 康乃爾大學的一篇論文 395 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:51,171 證明沒有人 是百分之百的異性戀或同性戀 396 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,966 -是同行評審嗎? -這重要嗎? 397 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,010 恐怕我太老了,無法嘗試新事物 398 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,180 我懷念馬戲團有大象的年代 399 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,723 大象還會踩傷人 400 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:05,060 想到"少年謝爾頓",我就有氣 401 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,478 我明白了 402 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,105 但在你離開前 403 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,691 我們上次還沒完成拍攝工作 404 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,870 我心心念念想拍卻沒拍到的表情 405 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,122 就是你迷人的笑容 406 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,333 怎麼不早說?我直接留給你 407 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,004 好好享受生活 408 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:40,929 阿拉摩之戰不是唯一 409 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,222 烙印在我腦海裡的事 410 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,767 那麼… 411 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,103 抱歉了,朋友 412 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,273 我這個士兵就跟高莫派爾一樣直 413 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,193 (春田養老院) 414 00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,156 非常好,士兵 415 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,867 你了解軍人各自有其價值觀和喜好 416 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,329 但我們全是以劣質塑膠製作而成 417 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,956 當地人恨我們入骨 418 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,666 我們也不知道為何要來這裡 419 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,295 無線電員,麻煩來點舞曲 420 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,270 當地人討厭我們,而我們不知道 421 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,897 或許我們建學校 422 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,066 他們就會忘記我們炸毀醫院 423 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,861 國會未通過補助適量防彈衣 424 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,154 這遊戲太悲哀了 425 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,822 我們把玩具放進微波爐融化吧 426 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,074 太好了 427 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:47,496 這就是從軍,瓊斯先生 428 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,457 沒有自己的房間或電話 429 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,420 你以前在自己的床上吃早餐 430 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:59,925 但在那裡不會再有這種享受 431 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,346 這就是從軍,格林先生 432 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,847 (老有所依) 433 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,851 我們喜歡將營房打掃得乾乾淨淨 434 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:13,689 你以前有清潔工幫你擦地板 435 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:17,317 但她幫不上你的忙了 436 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,829 翻譯:SDI Media 437 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,163 結束 438 00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,333 謝謝觀賞