1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:16,808 I love a good panel. 3 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,393 Krusty clearly hates being there, 4 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:21,312 but he still gets super mad when anyone but him talks. 5 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,482 Please welcome the legendary stars 6 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,985 of the Krusty the Clown Show. 7 00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:28,361 (cheering) 8 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,571 Hey-hey! 9 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,282 And a non-writing producer. 10 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,992 Ooh, non-writing. 11 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,577 Hey-hey, kids! 12 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,412 ALL: Hey-hey, Krusty! 13 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:40,915 Have we got a great panel planned for you today. 14 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,084 What is it, Howard, the usual crap? 15 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,671 Oh, yeah, that'll kill some time. 16 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,177 (audience screams) 17 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,470 (grunting) 18 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,848 Kids, call the police! This isn't a sketch! 19 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,099 (groans) 20 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,100 Ah. 21 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,351 My legs! 22 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,020 Stick to the script. 23 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,272 (straining): Ladies and gentlemen, 24 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,858 Miami Sound Machine. 25 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,359 ♪ Come on, shake... ♪ 26 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,446 Where do you come up with your ideas? 27 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,364 I'm a genius. Next. 28 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,659 -Are there any plans... -BOTH: For another Krusty movie? 29 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,537 We're waiting for a story that needs to be told. 30 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,874 Once we see that, we'll copy it and call it a parody. 31 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:25,210 Oy. Does anyone have a question 32 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,629 that hasn't been asked a thousand times? 33 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:32,509 I have the worst fans in the world. 34 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,594 Now we've got a big surprise 35 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,430 for the best fans in the world! 36 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,641 We're making some big changes 37 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,851 to your favorite cartoon. 38 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,271 -(audience gasps) -MAN: It's different. 39 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:49,192 It's an all-female reboot of Itchy & Scratchy! 40 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,570 BOTH: Oh, my God! 41 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,907 Pretty enlightened, eh, kids? We here at the Krusty Show 42 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,951 really care about gender diversity. 43 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,704 Ask anyone: our lawyers, our attorneys, anyone. 44 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,289 A girl Itchy & Scratchy? 45 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,375 No, no, no, this can't be. 46 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,502 They've ruined my childhood. 47 00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,754 Your childhood is currently happening. 48 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,172 That's how I know. 49 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,674 It doesn't make any sense. 50 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,385 In real life, Itchy and Scratchy are dudes. 51 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,929 Girl mice don't have the upper body strength 52 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,305 to wield a chain saw. 53 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,432 Is truth dead? 54 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,518 BOYS: Boo! 55 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,646 Ah, you boys are leaving me for video games anyway. 56 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,232 Zap, zap, zap, you'll all die alone. 57 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,109 Girl power is where it's at. 58 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,319 That movie where Superman was a chick 59 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,447 made a megillah of shekels. Am I right, ladies? 60 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,283 (girls cheering) 61 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,368 See? Girls like my pandering. 62 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,954 Remember this if there's ever a gender war. 63 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,165 Oh, this is the worst change 64 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,375 Krusty's ever made to the show, 65 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,295 even worse than Sideshow Leonard Cohen. 66 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,046 When girl Itchy & Scratchy comes on, 67 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,464 we should totally hate-watch it. 68 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,842 No, everybody come over to my house, 69 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,677 and we'll turn off the TV the second 70 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,095 that girl cartoon comes on. 71 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,139 We'll hate-not-watch it. 72 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,474 Yeah! Hate-not-watch! 73 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,019 Yeah, that won't not show 'em. 74 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,023 I never really thought about Itchy and Scratchy 75 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:13,818 as male or female, but it is cool that they're girls now. 76 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,904 I always thought they were a married couple, 77 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,989 and that's why they fought so much. 78 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:20,366 Mom, they're different species. 79 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,453 I don't know what to be liberal about anymore. 80 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,749 I am so pumped to hate-not-watch Itchy & Scratchy. 81 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,627 I've not popped the popcorn, the lights are not turned down. 82 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,003 Perfect. 83 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,839 Listen, son, I'm proud that you're starting to hate things, 84 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,049 but take it slow. 85 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,301 If you use up all your hate when you're young, 86 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:42,055 one day you'll be an old man who likes things that suck. 87 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,890 ANNOUNCER (on TV): Tonight, cabbage. 88 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:46,726 It is a lovely shade of gray, 89 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:49,062 and just look at the wrinkling. 90 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,858 All I'm saying is, if they ever make a female Mr. Magoo, 91 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,694 I will lose it, I will just lose it! 92 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,112 KRUSTY (on TV): Hey-hey, kids! 93 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,198 It's time to tickle your funny bones 94 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,868 and your Equal Employment Opportunity Commission bones 95 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,913 by presenting the all-new, all-female 96 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,915 Itchy & Scratchy! 97 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,584 Now to sit in silence till it's over. 98 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,795 Blindfolds on, gentlemen. 99 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,174 This is Lisa Simpson, 100 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,135 recording my reaction to this historic moment 101 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,638 in cartoon women's history. 102 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,224 SINGERS: ♪ They fight, they bite ♪ 103 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,101 ♪ They bite and fight and bite, bite, bite, bite ♪ 104 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,435 KRUSTY: ♪ Now they're girls ♪ 105 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,020 SINGERS: ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy ♪ 106 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,313 KRUSTY: ♪ Girls! ♪ 107 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,110 May I? 108 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:48,121 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way 'round ♪ 109 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,581 ♪ Two bottle o' whiskey for the way ♪ 110 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,667 (in distance): ♪ And I sure would like ♪ 111 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,335 ♪ Some sweet company ♪ 112 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,337 ♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow ♪ 113 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,423 ♪ What do you say? ♪ 114 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:02,135 -(laughing) -♪ When I'm gone, when I'm gone ♪ 115 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,637 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone ♪ 116 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,557 -(laughing) -♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me... ♪ 117 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,436 Ha-ha! I knew you couldn't resist watching. 118 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:15,148 And guess what, you laughed! It was funny. 119 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,816 I-I wasn't laughing. 120 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:20,611 I-I was crying a-and burping! 121 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,907 And... open. 122 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,200 We did it. 123 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,494 We prejudged something without giving it a chance. 124 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,830 I am so proud of us. 125 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:34,584 Like Bart Simpson would ever watch a girl Itchy & Scratchy. 126 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,211 Never gonna happen. 127 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,421 -(grunting) -Yeah. 128 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,382 That little liar. If only people could know 129 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,302 that Bart laughed even harder than I did... 130 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,762 (gasps) 131 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,473 All right, you soda-squirting hypocrite, 132 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:51,309 I know exactly what to do with this video. 133 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,394 ♪ ♪ 134 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,026 TOSHUA JOSH (on TV): Welcome to Josh.0, 135 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,612 the show for people who want to look at the Internet 136 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,114 but don't have a computer or a phone. 137 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,326 You know what bugs me about old guys at the gym? 138 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,662 They always forget to wipe down the machine. 139 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,499 (laughing): He means the blood. 140 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,336 Now, this boy says he hates all-girl Itchy & Scratchy, 141 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,254 but then this happened... 142 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,673 (laughing) 143 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,884 Bart, you got to see this! 144 00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,387 Some old guy at a gym got hit by a boat! 145 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:31,224 Also, now everyone knows you're the world's biggest hypocrite. 146 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,226 (laughing) 147 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:36,813 (laughing): You said you weren't gonna watch it, 148 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,690 and then you did and you loved it! 149 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:43,861 Then you got busted and I called you in here and laughed at you! 150 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,948 And I'm still doing it! 151 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,033 Look at you. 152 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,035 What a jerk. 153 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,870 (Bart groans) 154 00:06:56,624 --> 00:07:01,045 Well, Bart, how does it feel to be trolled, memed, giffed, 155 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,256 and, dare I say, pwned? 156 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,007 How do you know those words? 157 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,218 I read about them in Parade magazine. 158 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,221 Big deal, I was exposed as a liar on the Internet. 159 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:13,641 I've got so much cred built up, nothing can take me down. 160 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,726 You betrayed us, Bart. 161 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,980 And worse, you betrayed your own wang. 162 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,816 You know what? Yes, I laughed at a cartoon. 163 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,943 Why? Because it was funny. 164 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,653 So what if Itchy and Scratchy are girls? 165 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,489 I laughed, and you can't take back the laugh. 166 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,949 Girls aren't funny. 167 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,826 They're hot or moms. 168 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,035 Or both. 169 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,288 Girls stole Itchy and Scratchy. 170 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,499 What are they gonna take next, our body spray? 171 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,585 Our puka shell necklaces? 172 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,420 -Yeah! -Lame! 173 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:46,007 Girls get everything: bigger, softer baseballs, 174 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,469 chick flicks, two-piece bathing suits, 175 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,387 and on House Hunters International, 176 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,931 they always choose the house that she wants. 177 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,434 He's right. The wife gets the beach view, 178 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,395 but it's always a longer commute for the husband. 179 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,938 -You know, you're right. -Oh, yeah. 180 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,356 You guys see what's happening? 181 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,567 You're listening to Milhouse! 182 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,236 So? Maybe we are. 183 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,614 MILHOUSE: They are listening to me. 184 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:13,451 The next thing I say must be perfectly chosen 185 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,329 to show I am worthy of leadership. 186 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,580 Get him! 187 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,665 (shouting) 188 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,667 (panting) 189 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,753 (groans) 190 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,756 (groans) 191 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,182 -(boys growling) -(Bart gasps) 192 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,351 (hissing) 193 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:42,188 (gasps) Sixth graders. Tweens. 194 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,982 What are you doing in the girl's room, Seat Soaker? 195 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,984 No, no, I didn't mean to come in here. 196 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,486 I need sanctuary. 197 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,864 Hey, you guys have a candy machine? No fair. 198 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,325 Spin him till he barfs. 199 00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,743 Ah! 200 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,912 I'm full of hummus and milk! 201 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,997 (groaning) 202 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,126 Pink spray paint? 203 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,380 Give that back. That's for Skinner's office. 204 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:10,091 You tell anyone about this, you're canceled. 205 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,510 Charlie Rose canceled. 206 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:16,305 No, no, no, you can trust me. I'm not just any fourth grader. 207 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,393 Whoa, this dude's El Barto. 208 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:24,146 Huh, I always thought it was that fifth grader, Eloise Barto. 209 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,856 Yeah, sometimes I get her e-mail. 210 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,526 You know, if you fill up a leaf blower with paint, 211 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,444 you can coat Skinner's whole office. 212 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,780 -Duh. -Double duh. 213 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,408 Where are we gonna get a leaf blower? 214 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,909 Willie's shack. 215 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,452 (sound of bagpipes playing) 216 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,291 Whoa, homemade prank masks. 217 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,001 The knit is on. 218 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,923 This'll teach Skinner to ban sandals. 219 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,634 Oh, he will not silence our toes. 220 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,261 Hurry, Skinner's almost back 221 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,221 from his lunchtime dog-walking job. 222 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,307 (humming) 223 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,392 (door opens) 224 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,521 I will not negotiate with terrorists. 225 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,524 I'll just give in. Sandals unbanned. 226 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:14,155 Ladies, that was smooth, Barbie smooth. 227 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,781 So smooth. 228 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,242 Hey, why are you still here, truck-nuts? 229 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,244 Whoa, is this your hideout? 230 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,121 It's the old Home Ec classroom, 231 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,581 where they would brainwash girls 232 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,374 into being good little housewives, 233 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,876 but now it's our war room. 234 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,378 Also, we cook here, 235 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,047 we do a little bit of sewing. 236 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,673 Stop telling him things! 237 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,967 Cooties be damned, you girls are badass 238 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,594 and your pranks are next-level. 239 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,638 Take a seat and learn something. 240 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,765 We don't do "pranks," 241 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,933 we drop awareness bombs. 242 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:46,520 Our protest crew is called Bossy Riot. 243 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,397 We're pushing back against the pushback, 244 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,399 starting with this school. 245 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,361 Look at this his-tory book. 246 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,945 BART: Cool shades. 247 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,743 That is textbook textbook shredding. 248 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,536 Now do you see what we're doing here? 249 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,538 I think I do. 250 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,583 You're sticking it to the man, but this time, the man is men. 251 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,793 Hmm. 252 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,045 Look, you got to let me join your gang. 253 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,589 You know, if we're really serious about gender equality, 254 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,217 it's only right that a boy be our servant. 255 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:20,638 Okay, No-varies, you're in, if you pass this test... 256 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,557 Steal Skinner's cell phone. 257 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,476 Work or personal? 258 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,436 -CHALMERS: Skinner! -AGNES: Seymour! 259 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,481 Welcome to girlhood. 260 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:33,943 Mm! 261 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,904 Gentlemen, our way of life 262 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,365 -is under attack. -Hear, hear! 263 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,576 Society is trying to erase boys. 264 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,746 They give us drugs that make us do girly things, 265 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,581 like pay attention. 266 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,584 They're putting drugs in our medication? 267 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,128 We need to band together. 268 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,630 Like a sorority, but for dudes. 269 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:58,509 I give you the Boys Rights Association. 270 00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,761 -BOYS: BRA! -B-R-A. 271 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,972 -Right now, we're just training BRAs. -Mm-hmm. 272 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,307 But soon, we'll be the strongest, 273 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,978 most supportive BRAs anyone has ever seen. 274 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:12,982 (chanting): We are BRAs! We are BRAs! 275 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,735 Our son has one, two... (gasps) 276 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,778 ...eight friends. 277 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,240 They're more than just friends, he's-he's the leader. 278 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,700 (exhales) 279 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,035 I'm feeling this wave of relief, 280 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,204 not worrying about my son's social life. 281 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:31,792 I can stop being a mother and start being a... a woman. 282 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,754 (exhales) Say it. Say it again. 283 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,840 Our son has friends. 284 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,679 ♪ Old folks say "You poor little fool" ♪ 285 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,475 ♪ Down the streets, I'm the girl next door ♪ 286 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,478 ♪ I'm the fox you've been waiting for ♪ 287 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,647 ♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪ 288 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:57,485 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 289 00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:00,654 ♪ Hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪ 290 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,575 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 291 00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:07,953 ♪ Stone Age love and strange sounds, too... ♪ 292 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,915 This is why I sit. 293 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:14,585 ♪ Bad nights causing teenage blues ♪ 294 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:18,589 ♪ Get down, ladies, you've got nothing to lose ♪ 295 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:21,550 ♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪ 296 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:26,305 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb... ♪ 297 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,431 BROCKMAN: Springfield, 298 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,099 a town living in fear, 299 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,894 as masked pranksters calling themselves "Bossy Riot," 300 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,563 spread their terrifying message of female empowerment. 301 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,817 The latest victim of this "gal Qaeda," our once-proud symbol 302 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,694 of the portly pastry-purveying patriarchy. 303 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,696 HOMER: "Lard Lady"? 304 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:46,325 But a donut is the ultimate symbol of masculinity. 305 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,245 The only lead police have as to the identity of Bossy Riot 306 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,497 is this security camera footage. 307 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,415 (Homer laughs) 308 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,501 HOMER: Moe and his bats. 309 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,963 Bossy Riot is so cool. 310 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,798 We need fearless female activists 311 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,385 to fight back against misogyny and man-spreading. 312 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:08,180 Well, whoever they are, they are the coolest badasses 313 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,600 this town has ever seen, whoever they are. 314 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,144 Ooh, Bart winked at me. 315 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,647 I must be in on a joke. (chuckles) 316 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,357 -(Bart humming) -Hmm... 317 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:24,488 -(screams) -Bart, are you in Bossy Riot? 318 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,532 -No way. -Ah, good. 319 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,993 Because if you were fighting for women's rights, 320 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:32,621 it would destroy my entire vision of the universe. 321 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,415 Actually, I totally am. 322 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,541 Aah! 323 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,212 You can't be an activist for women's rights. 324 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,090 You don't know anything about the feminist cause. 325 00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:44,842 Sure I do. Chicks get a raw deal. 326 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,553 I'm a little fuzzy on the deets, but take my word for it. 327 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:51,015 (groans) It's all about the deets. You're not a girl. 328 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,893 -You just want to spray-paint the world and watch it drip. -Mm-hmm. 329 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:57,104 You've never been called shrill just because you speak up. 330 00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,816 And-and girls' clothing has no pockets, 331 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,527 while yours are lousy with pockets! 332 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,238 This is good stuff, I got to write it down. 333 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,410 (Bart humming) 334 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,579 This is someone else's war, 335 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:17,082 and you-- y-you're just a mercenary. 336 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,335 Mercenaries are cool, like Boba Fett. 337 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:23,130 Oh, yeah, Boba Fett, great character. 338 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:26,425 Boba Fett's badass. He wears a jetpack and a cape. 339 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,843 Pick a lane, weirdo. 340 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,054 Why does every discussion about feminism 341 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,723 turn into an argument about Star Wars? 342 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,975 If Boba Fett's such a great bounty hunter, 343 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,353 why is his armor all banged up? 344 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:40,773 (sighs) It's a look, like distressed denim. 345 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,983 You shouldn't be part of a protest 346 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,194 if you don't care about the cause. 347 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,780 Well, you care. Why don't you come with? 348 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,531 Maybe I will. 349 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,867 Great. Bring black gloves and no ID. 350 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,452 You've been Tasered before, right? 351 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:54,912 It only hurts until you pass out. 352 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:57,498 I'm excited, I want to, I do, but... 353 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,500 there's a part of me that's scared, 354 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,045 and that part is my body and my head. 355 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,254 It's okay, I get it. 356 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,839 There's nothing wrong with being all talk. 357 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,342 Us feminists need cheerleaders, too. 358 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,468 (groans) 359 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:14,139 So, what's up, my fellow Ruthless Bader Ginsburgs? 360 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,266 What's on the a-gender for the evening? 361 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,687 Your friends in the so-called "Boys Rights Association" 362 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,064 have been protesting The Krusty Show. 363 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,733 I told you not to light the toys yet. 364 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:28,237 I didn't, they just burst into flames. 365 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,864 Krusty caved. He said he'd never show 366 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,909 another all-girl Itchy & Scratchy ever again. 367 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,912 So we're gonna destroy the master tapes 368 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,707 of every Itchy & Scratchy. 369 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,125 Wait, what? No. 370 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,626 I love those cartoons. 371 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,378 I can't let you do it. 372 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,047 Oh, you can't "let" us? 373 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,177 Don't have a lady cow. 374 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,889 All cows are ladies. 375 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,480 That thing you said about me being all talk? 376 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,900 Well, I have prepared two comebacks, 377 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,319 and I will now give you both. 378 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:12,990 Those girls are gonna destroy every Itchy & Scratchy, forever! 379 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,993 (grunting) 380 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,995 Hey, hey, boys and boys! 381 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,663 Well, congratulations, 382 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:23,042 I'm never gonna air the girl Itchy & Scratchy again. 383 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:27,546 You hit me where it hurts the most: right in the sponsors. 384 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,089 Buy 'em all. 385 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,013 (gasps) We're too late. 386 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,144 They're going to destroy the tapes on live TV. 387 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,937 Let's get him out of those bras and go. 388 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:48,317 Uh, no, you can leave me like this. I'm good. 389 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,069 We are Bossy Riot, 390 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,322 and we're gonna drop all the original Itchy & Scratchys 391 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,408 into a pool of nail polish remover. 392 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,659 (all gasping) 393 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,999 That's crazy. We have those backed up a thousand times. 394 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,001 Right, Howard? 395 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,796 What do you do?! 396 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,798 Don't do it. Those shows are funny. 397 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,758 Mice killing cats, guts everywhere. 398 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,761 It doesn't matter if it's boy guts or girl guts. 399 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,262 Guts are guts. 400 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,431 See, the thing about comedy is... 401 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,850 Bart, stop mansplaining! 402 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,602 No, no, no, no, if I keep talking, 403 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,479 they'll get it eventually. 404 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,444 (grunts) 405 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,243 The fumes are burning my eyes. 406 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,786 (all crying) 407 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:47,084 Look, they're crying, on live TV. 408 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,087 Glitterize their tears. 409 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,172 Mama! 410 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,440 Don't worry, sir, your brothers are united 411 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,651 in blaming this on you. 412 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,611 (shouting in agreement) 413 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,697 (groans) 414 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,618 Hey, hey, come back here! 415 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,413 You there, sweet innocent girls, 416 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:28,000 did you see three crazed man-haters run through here? 417 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,711 Gee, Officer, they went that way. 418 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,005 Thanks, princess. Thank you. 419 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,174 Wait a second. 420 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:38,510 Do any of you babysit? 421 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,429 Great. Be at my house Saturday at 7:00. 422 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,806 And if Ralph asks you to give him a bath, 423 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,267 do not give him a bath. 424 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,020 So I guess I'm not in the group anymore. 425 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,189 You were never in the group. 426 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,858 We just kept you around for fingerprints and DNA. 427 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:56,153 But making those boys cry was hardcore. 428 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:59,615 You, uh, ever think about wearing the yarn? 429 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,575 Me? Join you? 430 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,203 Can I do it? Can I push my beliefs further 431 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,538 than they've ever gone? 432 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,624 -Well, let us know. -(clicks tongue) 433 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,836 Mask me. 434 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,634 ("Extreme Ways" by Moby playing) 435 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,631 So spill it, Simpson. You were on the inside. 436 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,466 What's the deal with girls? 437 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:02,052 Well, check this out: they also burp. 438 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,012 No way. From where? 439 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,681 Is that even allowed? 440 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,182 Let's see, what else? 441 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,184 They're always telling each other they're pretty, 442 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,728 their bathroom candy tastes really weird, 443 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,523 but there's one thing that really crushed me. 444 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,692 I almost don't want to say it out loud. 445 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,443 They don't envy us. 446 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,695 -♪ ♪ -Oh... 447 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,321 (gasps) 448 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,406 (sighs) 449 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:24,825 (Milhouse sobs quietly) 450 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,502 Shh! 451 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,008 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH