1
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辛普森家庭

2
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放開…

3
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,520
（死海鹽水，口含錠）

4
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,031
（錄音室）

5
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這是＂春田換日線＂

6
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,462
（證據）

7
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,632
（霸子辛普森）

8
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,384
（春田換日線）

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00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,387
表面上，辛普森一家是模範家庭

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荷馬和瑪姬是高中青梅竹馬

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她讓我畢業舞會免當壁花男孩

12
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他把我從姊姊手裡拯救出來

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那兩個女人真是禽獸

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畫面切過去，你們就懂了

15
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拍我們做什麼？

16
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,484
（佩蒂和索瑪布威葉）

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（正起訴減重中心）

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瑪姬和荷馬共同撫養三個孩子

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在充斥著愛，歡笑…

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和龐大經濟壓力的環境

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他們需要的只有彼此

22
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我在１９４７年認識辛普森一家

23
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他們當時在賓州蓋住得起的家

24
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小媚姬原會成為下一個被綁架的寶寶

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但約翰福斯特杜勒斯另有想法

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不要訪問爺爺

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他差點讓肯伯恩斯引退

28
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那個自負的老頭比棒球還無趣

29
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,021
辛普森一家怎麼也沒料到

30
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他們的美國夢會因一起犯罪變調

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境內有核電廠和活火山

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春田市看似是全世界最安全的地方

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但一起神祕罪案將會摧毀這片平靜

34
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並將辛普森一家撕裂

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將我們撕裂？

36
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沒有什麼能將我們撕裂

37
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將我們撕裂

38
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媽，別再說＂將我們撕裂＂了

39
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我們快精神分裂了

40
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誰想吃乳酪通心粉？

41
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該起無良事件的重演

42
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始於瑪姬和麗莎從超市返家後

43
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購物剩下的錢

44
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我都存入麗莎的秘密大學基金

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我們藏在家中男丁不可能查看的地方

46
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清潔劑的罐子裡

47
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接下來發生的事

48
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就是永遠發生在水槽下

49
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:39,075
那些改變人生的時刻

50
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共６７０元４２分的大學基金消失了

51
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就這樣

52
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麗莎的不含學餐三週大學夢

53
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就這樣破滅了

54
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對任何有小小孩的父母來說

55
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最害怕的就是遺失一罐錢

56
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這裡是９１１，你有什麼緊急狀況？

57
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發生搶劫，快派人來

58
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,474
這裡是常青街７４２號

59
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你應該說聲＂請＂

60
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這是緊急狀況

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不需要說＂請＂

62
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看來是你的禮貌被偷走了

63
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請幫忙

64
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立刻派人過去，不客氣

65
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＂請＂問大名？

66
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另請教你的上司大名？

67
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電話已斷線

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渾蛋

69
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（警方錄影畫面）

70
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,166
局長，你發現了什麼嗎？

71
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,751
洋芋片罐裡沒有發現證據

72
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,294
那麼…

73
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,964
那麼我們又回到原點

74
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這不是典型的闖空門

75
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門窗沒有被破壞的跡象

76
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連狗都沒有吠一聲

77
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有人很懂得要摸牠的肚子

78
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警方的現場模擬確認了局長的推論

79
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天哪，真舒服

80
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,274
是我也不會吠

81
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,985
老路，你得教教我老婆

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因為沒有強行進入的痕跡

83
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警方懷疑有內賊

84
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這並未通過警方所謂的＂氣味測試＂

85
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,912
我當年也是看過不少警察節目

86
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,748
我自認也算是個業餘警察了

87
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:13,920
立刻停拍這段紀實節目或＂紀錄片＂

88
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,216
我們是好人，我們不會偷竊

89
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:20,927
那只是借用

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借…用

91
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借…用

92
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因此這個核心家庭開始爆炸

93
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懷疑都指向一人

94
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:36,150
那警方忽略的那個重要線索呢？

95
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有人喝飲料沒用杯墊

96
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一定是陌生人

97
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,657
這張餐桌很貴

98
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家人都知道我不希望它被玷污

99
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（餐桌價值２８元）

100
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慘了

101
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春田市警方迫不得已

102
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向大眾求援

103
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他們沒等多久

104
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尼爾森今天到校，剪了個時髦髮型

105
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他家連牛奶都買不起

106
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他都用雨水泡玉米穀片

107
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是提尼先生偷的，牠也竊取我的戲碼

108
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我以我的骨頭發誓

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匿名者敬上

110
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正當你接了兩通電話，準備放棄

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關鍵線索出現

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我要舉報瑪姬辛普森

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偷錢滿足她的賭博惡習

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她告訴我當牧師的老公

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她過去沉迷賭博

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是私下說的，不過你懂的…

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瑪姬辛普森

118
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擁有奧莉薇美貌的郊區媽媽

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已戒除賭博惡習多年

120
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還是並沒有？

121
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我承認，我原本難以抗拒誘惑

122
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但我終究克服了

123
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瑪姬走出賭場，解除了嫌疑

124
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令人驚訝的是，這起謎案

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無法在開場５分鐘內破解

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因瑪姬的嫌疑消除

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警方把目標轉向另一名嫌疑者

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荷馬辛普森

129
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荷馬在酒吧的賒帳金額已經失控

130
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高達五，六百元

131
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那晚老莫拒絕供酒

132
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（現場還原）

133
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我很抱歉

134
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我們推斷荷馬喝醉回家

135
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,965
他搖晃跌倒，發現了水槽下的錢

136
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心想可以用來還酒錢

137
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荷馬就寢前到過廚房

138
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是不爭的事實

139
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我們發現一道宵夜遭受暴力對待

140
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符合濺出的義大利麵醬痕

141
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這個…這並非很酷的情況

142
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但我依舊要說…酷啊

143
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醬料噴滿牆面，天花板

144
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及荷馬的指甲

145
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義大利麵曾奮力掙扎

146
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,869
那個男人對剩菜所做的事…

147
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抱歉，我說不下去了…

148
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,875
但若那晚廚房變成番茄淹沒的屠宰場

149
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,336
為何隔天一早沒人發現？

150
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,840
他把錢塞進口袋後

151
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,675
清理了廚房

152
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,552
所以我們只需要取得他的褲子

153
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,805
幸運的是，一個簡單騙局就成功了

154
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,143
七月的超級盃

155
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（超級盃觀賞會，免費自助餐）

156
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（進入許可，一條長褲）

157
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,606
（警方犯罪實驗室）

158
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,525
褲子裡沒有錢

159
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:26,487
我們只發現花生糖，爆米花和獎品

160
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偵查工作做得很出色

161
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,659
很出色　　　　對

162
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,786
對，但是沒有找到證據

163
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,037
由於荷馬仍被列為頭號嫌犯

164
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:39,041
調查陷入停擺

165
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,919
＂春田換日線＂陷入困境

166
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,256
本節目急需讓人懸著一顆心的廣告

167
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,216
此案背後的真正主腦

168
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,595
會不會是億萬富翁蒙哥馬利伯恩斯？

169
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,389
我有什麼理由要偷六百元？

170
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,891
那對我來說是九牛一毛

171
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,518
老子就是有錢

172
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,395
史密瑟斯，再拿點錢來

173
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,148
還要繼續丟嗎？

174
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,066
不了，稍後馬上回來

175
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,989
警方重新調查最初的猜測

176
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,991
犯人會不會是荷馬辛普森？

177
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:12,992
當然是他

178
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:13,951
（匿名酒保）

179
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,995
你們會幫我變聲，對吧？

180
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,580
因為我不想讓人知道

181
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:18,915
是我，莫司司拉克

182
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,750
也會把名字消音吧？

183
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:24,754
正如莫司司拉克所說，荷馬嫌疑很大

184
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:25,922
很明顯，對於此案

185
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,924
局長傾向荷馬辛普森

186
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,634
拜託，老路

187
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,594
我才沒有傾向他

188
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,720
我只是…怎麼？

189
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,639
他有說我什麼嗎？

190
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,849
你認為他是有關係的疑犯

191
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,059
別說了

192
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,228
我可以覺得某人有意思

193
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,313
卻不必跟他有關係

194
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,773
別說了

195
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,651
是的，但有新事證為荷馬洗刷清白

196
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,111
案發當晚，根據通聯紀錄

197
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,114
荷馬與第三方通話了六小時

198
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,909
ＤＮＡ檢驗顯示那通是屁股誤觸

199
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,370
對，而且並非誤觸速播鍵造成

200
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,790
十個號碼全都是他靈活的臀部撥出的

201
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,128
史都迪斯可舞廳現在無法接聽

202
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,548
請在嗶聲後留言

203
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,175
當警方播放荷馬的留言時

204
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,803
發現了可怕的真相

205
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,846
荷馬並不是用清潔劑

206
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,515
把廚房刷洗乾淨的

207
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,268
那個病態傢伙是用舔的

208
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,770
（語音留言，荷馬辛普森來電）

209
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,772
（現場還原）

210
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,732
而且有幫凶

211
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,867
我第一個念頭當然是刪除留言

212
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,746
但後來忍不住跟著呼嚕聲搖擺

213
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,750
我很久沒有聽到迪斯可以外的音樂

214
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,128
有時候表面形象…

215
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,338
會變成一種束縛

216
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,007
我就知道不可能是荷馬

217
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,301
辛普森家的人是無辜的

218
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,969
這是無罪推定　　　　不是

219
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,679
就是無辜的

220
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,765
你在幹嘛？別拍我的家人

221
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,017
不是他們幹的

222
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,477
終於，我等你好久了

223
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,691
就像所有正常健康的男孩

224
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,153
霸子是警方無數案件的調查焦點

225
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,697
但一個母親知道孩子是無辜的

226
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,365
她知道自己何時自欺欺人

227
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,534
或睜一隻眼閉一隻眼

228
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,537
這次他是無辜的，問他的朋友就知道

229
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,414
請告知你的名字

230
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,166
錢是霸子辛普森偷的

231
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,543
我承認我知道錢放在水槽下

232
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,296
但我有借必有還

233
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,423
況且六百元？

234
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,509
一個十歲孩子要這麼多錢做什麼？

235
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,970
史萊姆，霸子拿去買史萊姆

236
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,348
我從沒遇過這麼配合的證人

237
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,184
我也幫你的錄影機準備了備用電池

238
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,268
史萊姆

239
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,479
這種軟黏無害的玩具

240
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,273
在今日的孩子間廣受歡迎

241
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,194
我看過各種流行，溜溜球

242
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,446
打紙牌，寶可夢，曠課風

243
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,948
約翰契佛短篇小說

244
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,909
但是都比不上這個

245
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:00,993
（實驗室）

246
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,161
在晴朗的日子

247
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:07,500
起身看看周圍

248
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:17,468
你會看清自己

249
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,721
（物料室）

250
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:29,814
（春田小學）

251
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:36,195
我的計畫是壟斷史萊姆，定價出售

252
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,406
但沒想到會崩盤

253
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,949
（史萊姆股價）

254
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:40,991
（史萊姆銀行）

255
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,037
（史萊姆）

256
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,123
幸好有個天真的蠢蛋

257
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,166
還不知道風潮已過

258
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,918
我就把所有庫存都賣給他

259
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,755
我沒有同意你們拍攝

260
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,715
請你們離開

261
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:56,757
（史萊姆，我恨你們）

262
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,260
所以我把借的錢還回去了

263
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,303
我有錄影存證

264
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:03,347
因為我知道不會有人相信我

265
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,683
所以辛普森一家都查過了

266
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,226
當然，除了麗莎以外

267
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,936
不可能是她，對吧？怎麼可能

268
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,355
我們來看看…　　　　拜託

269
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,065
我問麗莎竊案發生時，她在哪裡

270
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,860
她說＂在休息＂

271
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:20,322
＂就是發懶和放鬆＂

272
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,159
這是酷妹會說的話

273
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,703
但是麗莎辛普森一點都不酷

274
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:26,704
所以…

275
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,582
不可能

276
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,083
沒有人，我要重複

277
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,002
沒有人會相信是麗莎做的

278
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,297
但她一直很想要一支新薩克斯風

279
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,506
我只是說說

280
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,925
（圖特王音樂商店）

281
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,596
麗莎光顧好幾年了

282
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,890
簧片，琴布，活塞油

283
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,225
她會為一支新薩克斯風犯罪嗎？

284
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,353
戴夫布魯貝克以９分之８拍創作嗎？

285
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,355
他有，一起數數看

286
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,705
來吧，試吹看看

287
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,477
那是市面上最好的上低音薩克斯風

288
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,647
吹奏著爵士妙音的黑鎳黃鶯

289
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,858
但我不會為了它偷錢

290
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,069
稍後回來，揭曉麗莎做案真相

291
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,278
不是我做的

292
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,239
麗莎，該上床了　　　　我得走了

293
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,450
我媽要唸＂哈利波特＂第四集給我聽

294
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,577
西追迪哥里死掉那集？

295
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,287
你這爛人　　　　是你做的

296
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,664
不對，是你幹的

297
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,790
渾球

298
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,461
好了…時間到了

299
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:01,882
簧片是我的

300
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,511
簧片與貪婪只有一字之差，請看

301
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:06,887
（貪婪）

302
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,056
（簧片）

303
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,934
我們幹嘛同意拍這個紀錄片？

304
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,019
因為現今的大明星

305
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,980
都出身自真實犯罪紀錄片

306
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,231
＂黑色豪門疑案＂

307
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,357
＂謀殺犯的形成＂

308
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,526
還有＂今日＂的麥特勞爾

309
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:24,029
結果麗莎並未買下新薩克斯風

310
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,322
而是別人買走了

311
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,117
我一直想吹上低音薩克斯風

312
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,078
我老爸卻堅持次中音薩克斯風

313
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,664
（老爸禁止的事）

314
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:34,790
進去吧

315
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,753
你覺得這個如何？

316
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,463
你依舊令人失望

317
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,175
但如果麗莎是無辜的

318
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,679
她為何無法提出事發當時的…

319
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,139
不在場證明？

320
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,057
別再汙衊我的麗莎

321
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,018
我告訴你當時她在哪裡，她…

322
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,854
媽…不能說

323
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,523
學校有些女同學…

324
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,191
就當成是我偷的吧

325
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,401
紀錄片拍攝結束

326
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,486
祝你們入圍獨立精神獎

327
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,947
我帶她去找跳房子家教

328
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,366
我原本抱著一絲希望

329
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,327
現在我會被全世界恥笑

330
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:16,582
我是唯一需要跳房子家教的人

331
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,667
麗莎，跟著我做

332
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,044
單腳，雙腳，單腳…

333
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,504
雙腳，單腳，雙腳，單腳

334
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:23,964
有夠蠢

335
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,966
是誰發明這個遊戲的？

336
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,762
蘇格蘭人發明了跳房子和思高膠帶

337
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,096
那蘇格蘭威士忌呢？

338
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,431
從來沒聽過

339
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,016
你看，我就說吧

340
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,559
我們都是無辜的

341
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,312
你們這群好事者可以放過我們了吧

342
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,356
我們已占用府上太多時間

343
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,899
我們走吧

344
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,614
你們在幹嘛？

345
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,324
我們一家是清白的

346
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,452
我要你們對我老婆道歉

347
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:54,870
道歉？

348
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:56,622
我們？　　　　你會的

349
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,374
知道為什麼嗎？

350
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:02,878
我是最後一個看你們電視台的人

351
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,423
包括廣告都看

352
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,468
我很抱歉

353
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,554
給我保證這一幕不會被剪掉

354
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,889
我無法保證這點

355
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,224
這是剪接師的事　　　　我抓到他了

356
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:19,687
我要向美國電影電視剪接師協會投訴

357
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,147
那只是個名譽協會

358
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,149
收回那句話

359
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,027
（春田換日線）

360
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,696
真是鬆了口氣

361
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,532
到底是誰幹的？　　　　顯然是霸子

362
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:32,908
每次都是霸子

363
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,786
這不是我的錯，我是老爸教出來的

364
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,246
那不是我的錯

365
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,081
因為我是我爸教出來的

366
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,833
別怪到我身上

367
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,961
我們比誰先衝出門，你媽贏了

368
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,504
你…　　　　是霸子

369
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:48,966
顯示你多麼不負責任

370
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,968
別吵了，大家都是無辜的

371
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,803
我希望永遠不必為你負責

372
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,596
別吵了…

373
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,890
你們在撕裂這個家

374
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,643
別再稱沙發為愛之座

375
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,186
我根本不喜歡

376
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,398
轟動的辛普森搶案成為懸案

377
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,692
正義或許永難伸張

378
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,361
但到頭來，重點是我們喜歡觀看

379
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:13,449
發生在別人身上的不幸

380
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,367
媽媽，救我

381
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:16,702
（乾洗店）

382
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,169
別為了數不清的失敗懊惱

383
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:27,212
還是看看海吧

384
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,715
裝作在沉思的樣子

385
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:33,052
就像這樣，真好

386
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,679
都拍到了嗎？

387
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,389
因為我想抓癢

388
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,102
（春田換日線）

389
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,687
我們來慶祝吧

390
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,064
我們熬過了這部紀錄片

391
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,982
現況比開拍前要好

392
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,693
這是自安德烈巨人後首見

393
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,697
荷馬辛普森，你會留下印子

394
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,992
杯墊扣

395
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,202
很有巧思吧？

396
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,162
什麼？你從哪裡弄來的？

397
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:01,497
我發明的

398
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:05,292
你做了多少這玩意？

399
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,128
一千個，我想投資這門生意

400
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,005
一千個？

401
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,257
一定花了很多錢

402
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,759
我原本也這麼以為

403
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,178
但是一個只要６５分錢

404
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,681
所以總共６５０元？

405
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,809
你的乘法哪時變這麼好？

406
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,936
是你

407
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,729
但是你一直否認

408
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,523
一直都是你

409
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,734
我可以解釋

410
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,736
不需要，不用解釋

411
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,279
孩子們，快來

412
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,533
我們結婚以來第一次，你做錯了

413
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,326
我要好好看你被指責

414
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,830
直到我做錯事為止，然後…

415
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,541
好吧，我們扯平了

416
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,043
讓我解釋原因

417
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,921
你每天都出去找朋友，去酒吧

418
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,173
人生對你來說是冒險

419
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,550
這讓我想到一個點子

420
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:58,262
一個或許能讓我成功的點子

421
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,558
但我承認這是賭博，對自己下注

422
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,144
我瞭解，老婆

423
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,396
我完全瞭解

424
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,234
怎麼回事？

425
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,194
麗莎，我得告訴你…

426
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,488
麗莎，你媽要跟你說

427
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:20,409
那筆錢被老鼠吃掉了

428
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,453
但…　　　　老鼠怎麼鑽進罐子的？

429
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,581
是爺爺沒蓋好

430
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,709
他們為什麼把所有事都推給我？

431
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,878
很好，貓咪熱好了

432
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,215
瑪姬，我想跟最偉大的女人去散步

433
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:40,512
從那一刻起，荷馬和我變得更親密

434
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,848
我們共享一個黑暗秘密

435
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,892
太性感了

436
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,979
瑪姬，我也有個秘密

437
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,607
我一直在掉髮

438
00:19:56,236 --> 00:20:00,616
轟動的辛普森搶案成為懸案，等一下

439
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,367
為什麼是懸案？

440
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,827
這算什麼？

441
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,830
觀眾期待我破案，包柏

442
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,625
我們不能任意改變節目形式

443
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,585
你只負責唸稿

444
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,837
觀眾只有一個要求，很簡單

445
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,715
解決罪案，找出犯人

446
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:20,385
我的聲音讓人感到療癒，安心…

447
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,304
你聽到了嗎？天哪

448
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,889
我的右聲帶斷了

449
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,057
那邊比較柔和動聽

450
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,476
快點，準備幫他做聲帶移植

451
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:30,979
我們沒有人類捐贈者

452
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,731
我們只有綿羊的聲帶

453
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,404
我回來了

454
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,616
他真是有職業道德的旁白

455
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,994
謝謝觀賞

456
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,954
翻譯：ＳＤＩ　Ｍｅｄｉａ

457
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,296
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