1
00:00:08,393 --> 00:00:11,132
Don't rot your brain
on Satan's calculator.
2
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:13,837
Babies need real toys
like these.
3
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,924
‐It's Princess Maggie.
‐
4
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,028
Princess Maggie's here.
5
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,899
Princess Maggie, what's wrong?
6
00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:29,435
The girl is bored.
7
00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:32,274
Royal court,
entertain my daughter at once.
8
00:00:32,341 --> 00:00:35,615
No princess can frown
when her eardrums are pulsing
9
00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:38,554
with the beat
of iambic pentameter.
10
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,025
That's quite a frown.
11
00:00:41,092 --> 00:00:42,494
Out of my way!
12
00:00:42,562 --> 00:00:45,901
I've got no shame
or regard for my own well‐being.
13
00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:48,539
Hey, hey!
14
00:00:49,776 --> 00:00:52,214
You fools have failed
the princess.
15
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,853
We have no other option.
We must give her...
16
00:00:54,919 --> 00:00:57,491
‐the special gift.
‐
17
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:08,513
‐
18
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:17,899
Goodbye, Princess Maggie.
Goodbye.
19
00:01:23,977 --> 00:01:25,180
¡Ay, caramba!
20
00:01:28,954 --> 00:01:29,956
Oh, boy.
21
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,192
Homer,
22
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,329
your father's
messing up the baby again.
23
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,027
Way ahead of you, pal.
24
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,292
My eyes...
25
00:02:54,893 --> 00:02:57,397
Where did all this traffic
come from?
26
00:02:57,464 --> 00:03:00,069
It's like my favorite
movie ever, Cars 3.
27
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,073
I hated Cars 1 and 2.
28
00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:10,056
I'm unsupervised.
29
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,292
Have no fear.
30
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,329
Safety is here.
31
00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,868
Traffic, no traffic‐‐
what's the difference?
32
00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:19,107
I got nothing to be late for
and no one who cares.
33
00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:36,776
Let's take this from Disney+
to HBO Max.
34
00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:43,522
Oh, Marge,
you haven't honked
35
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,226
like this since high school.
36
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,230
It's a traffic jam.
37
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:57,450
My, my, look at all those middle
fingers raised to the Lord.
38
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:01,158
Wait a minute.
That car looks familiar.
39
00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:02,962
Hey, that looks like...
40
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:08,039
No, don't go there, Moe.
Don't go there.
41
00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:09,809
Erase, erase, erase!
42
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:26,643
Oh, come on.
43
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,547
We put up a sign and everything.
44
00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:30,116
This is so unreal.
45
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:33,355
Why did all this traffic
suddenly appear on our street?
46
00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:35,493
Wayz told me this was
the fastest route.
47
00:04:35,561 --> 00:04:38,132
That's important when
you're selling your organs.
48
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:39,501
Oh, my God, I've heard of this.
49
00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:40,938
That app routes traffic
50
00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,775
through a quiet
residential neighborhood,
51
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:45,379
turning it into
a gridlocked nightmare.
52
00:04:46,749 --> 00:04:48,887
♪ Damn this traffic jam ♪
53
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:51,593
♪ How I hate to be late,
it hurts my motor... ♪
54
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,665
Sorry, I met someone
in another car.
55
00:04:54,732 --> 00:04:57,504
‐
‐♪ Time I get home,
my supper will be cold ♪
56
00:04:57,571 --> 00:04:59,842
♪ Damn this traffic jam ♪
57
00:05:00,911 --> 00:05:03,149
♪ Well, I left my job
about five o'clock ♪
58
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,587
♪ It took 15 minutes
to go three blocks... ♪
59
00:05:05,654 --> 00:05:07,357
We need to do something.
60
00:05:07,423 --> 00:05:09,528
This is driving
the neighborhood nuts.
61
00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:12,200
Even the guy who's always
in his underwear.
62
00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:14,137
This is more
than I put on for Zoom.
63
00:05:14,204 --> 00:05:16,175
Enough with the traffic.
64
00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:18,078
I'm calling
a neighborhood meeting.
65
00:05:19,715 --> 00:05:21,251
Neighborhood Meeting.
66
00:05:21,318 --> 00:05:22,855
Neighborhood meeting.
67
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:26,596
Please rate my app.
Please rate my app.
68
00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:29,902
Two stars? My IPO is ruined.
69
00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:32,207
Ruined! Ruined!
70
00:05:34,645 --> 00:05:36,315
We're here to talk about
71
00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:39,454
the terrible problem
on our street.
72
00:05:39,521 --> 00:05:41,458
‐Finally.
‐About time.
73
00:05:41,525 --> 00:05:45,466
We assume you're talking
about you, the Simpsons.
74
00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,569
Wha...?
75
00:05:46,636 --> 00:05:48,239
I've seen the boy's moons
more times
76
00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:50,544
than I've seen the real one,
and I'm an astronomer.
77
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,146
What's wrong with us?
78
00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:55,319
You haven't stopped by
to say hello in 25 years,
79
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:57,056
and I live next door.
80
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,329
The only good one's the baby,
and she shot a guy.
81
00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:03,570
Wait, are we ignoring
the elephant in the room?
82
00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:05,707
By which I mean
the big, fat husband.
83
00:06:05,774 --> 00:06:07,778
Every time Homer
wears corduroys,
84
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:10,951
I just hear those thighs
scraping, scraping, scraping.
85
00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:13,690
Oh, my God.
I'm starting to get the idea
86
00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:16,161
you think
we're not good neighbors.
87
00:06:18,532 --> 00:06:19,802
You see? You see?
88
00:06:19,869 --> 00:06:21,538
Now, don't worry, my friends.
89
00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:23,877
I'm stepping forward
to fix this traffic.
90
00:06:23,943 --> 00:06:27,216
And by doing so, maybe...
just maybe I'll fix
91
00:06:27,283 --> 00:06:29,287
my reputation with you all.
92
00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:34,699
So just say to me what I say
"I believe."
93
00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:38,472
And... off I go.
94
00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:47,056
Um... no.
95
00:06:47,858 --> 00:06:49,260
"Identify all traffic lights."
96
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:50,363
Done.
97
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:52,066
"Identify all yield signs."
98
00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:53,235
Done.
99
00:06:53,302 --> 00:06:55,072
"Identify all the crosswalks."
100
00:06:55,139 --> 00:06:58,412
Oh! Lisa, help me.
101
00:06:58,479 --> 00:06:59,782
Done.
102
00:06:59,849 --> 00:07:01,385
"Identify all fire hydrants."
103
00:07:01,451 --> 00:07:02,588
Done.
104
00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:04,057
Jesuits? Done.
105
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,660
20th‐century dictators?
106
00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:07,765
Uh, overrated fiction?
107
00:07:07,831 --> 00:07:10,937
Hyperintelligent cartoon characters?
108
00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,674
Vegan nut milks?
109
00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:14,578
Future criminals?
110
00:07:14,645 --> 00:07:16,616
Aah! New England doorways!
111
00:07:16,682 --> 00:07:18,887
Oh, forget this.
I'm calling instead.
112
00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:21,358
You've reached
Wayz customer service.
113
00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:24,932
You have 5,700 callers
ahead of you.
114
00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:28,573
Now, please enjoy the frustrated
noises of other callers on hold.
115
00:07:30,677 --> 00:07:32,714
I'm gonna blow my brains out.
116
00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:34,685
‐
117
00:07:34,752 --> 00:07:37,089
‐
‐You again?
118
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,097
Can it be her,
after all these years?
119
00:07:41,164 --> 00:07:45,206
The woman I thought was the one
stuck behind my car?
120
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,186
♪ Mmm, mmm ♪
121
00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:58,733
♪ Mmm‐mmm‐mmm, mmm‐mmm‐mmm... ♪
122
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,206
Hi, Moe. I missed you.
123
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,743
I never should've left.
124
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:07,149
Maya. The longest,
best relationship of my life.
125
00:08:07,216 --> 00:08:10,155
That was a great six days.
126
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,961
You're a good kisser.
127
00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:15,700
Yeah.
I practice by siphoning gas
128
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,704
out of other people's tanks.
129
00:08:17,771 --> 00:08:21,144
So, is there a knob or an
"open sesame" type deal or what?
130
00:08:21,211 --> 00:08:23,081
My house is over there.
131
00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:24,083
Wha...?
132
00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:31,766
Every day since you left me,
I've written you a letter.
133
00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:34,838
Really wish I had gotten
your address.
134
00:08:42,286 --> 00:08:43,756
So, how you been, Maya?
135
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,328
Well, I finally got my PhD.
136
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:47,898
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
137
00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:49,835
You taking medicine
for that or what?
138
00:08:49,902 --> 00:08:51,204
Oh, Moe.
139
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:53,776
It's nice to laugh again.
How are you?
140
00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:55,446
Oh, I‐I'm doing great.
141
00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:57,918
Yeah, the factory closed,
so there's lots of new drunks.
142
00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,788
And, uh, oh, the bathroom possum
143
00:08:59,855 --> 00:09:02,293
is getting real good
at handing out them combs.
144
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:08,338
Who am I kidding?
145
00:09:08,405 --> 00:09:10,009
My life is a wreck, Maya.
146
00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:13,348
The face recognition software
on my phone says, "Yuck."
147
00:09:13,415 --> 00:09:15,887
My playlist only has
breakup songs.
148
00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,392
(à
It's rough,
I'm telling you, yeah.
149
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,131
I miss you, Moses Marie Szyslak.
150
00:09:21,197 --> 00:09:23,736
Oh, no, no, no.
Please don't give me that look.
151
00:09:23,803 --> 00:09:26,174
I can't go through it
again, Maya. I can't.
152
00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:29,480
Ah, just look at you walking
toward me, coming closer,
153
00:09:29,548 --> 00:09:31,484
with those big green eyes
of yours
154
00:09:31,552 --> 00:09:33,021
and the great‐smelling hair,
155
00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:36,161
skin smoother
than American cheese.
156
00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:43,241
But I want a drink now.
157
00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:52,359
Oh, I wish this moment could
last forever, like, uh...
158
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,466
uh, I don't know, uh,
Henry Winkler's career.
159
00:09:55,532 --> 00:09:57,470
Boy, that guy
never jumped the shark.
160
00:09:57,536 --> 00:09:59,207
Not even when
he jumped the shark.
161
00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:03,148
Just so I know, have you had
another girlfriend since me?
162
00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:04,685
Uh, not really, no.
163
00:10:04,752 --> 00:10:06,187
Uh, no one could match you.
164
00:10:06,254 --> 00:10:09,093
I mean, I have been
catfished a few times.
165
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,229
Hey, Moe.
166
00:10:10,295 --> 00:10:12,734
It's us, "Online Gloria."
167
00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:15,272
I'll kill you!
Also, I love you.
168
00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:20,349
Oh, Moe, you poor guy.
169
00:10:21,184 --> 00:10:23,121
Oh, everything is perfect.
170
00:10:23,188 --> 00:10:27,229
Which it always is
until I say, "I love you."
171
00:10:29,802 --> 00:10:31,939
I love you.
172
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:40,022
I love you. Will you marry me?
173
00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:47,436
To hell with women.
174
00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:49,842
I love you, New York.
175
00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:53,448
Help me. Spider‐Man!
176
00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,132
Professor, can you get
the traffic off our street?
177
00:11:02,199 --> 00:11:03,903
I'll give you anything
except for money
178
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:05,439
or credit for what you did.
179
00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:09,180
The only way to defeat
a global data behemoth
180
00:11:09,247 --> 00:11:11,517
is to get into the source code.
181
00:11:11,585 --> 00:11:15,058
Just look what I did here
on, uh... on the Wikipedia.
182
00:11:18,131 --> 00:11:20,435
Welcome to Wayz.
183
00:11:20,502 --> 00:11:23,876
We figure out the fastest route
to get you where you want to go.
184
00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:26,514
Our secret?
Always collecting data.
185
00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:28,218
But we would never misuse it.
186
00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:29,988
Who do you think we are, Google?
187
00:11:30,055 --> 00:11:32,026
We're owned by Google.
188
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,128
I've got the answer.
189
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:36,568
What if we made your street...
190
00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:37,938
...not exist?
191
00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,841
Well, where would we live?
192
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,545
Well, that's quite silly.
193
00:11:41,612 --> 00:11:44,818
It would, of course,
still exist in real life,
194
00:11:44,885 --> 00:11:47,624
but I could make it disappear
from the database.
195
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:51,097
‐All right, let us see here.
‐
196
00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:53,268
Uh, keystrokes, keystrokes,
escape key,
197
00:11:53,335 --> 00:11:56,709
both colon and semicolon,
backslash, backslash,
198
00:11:56,775 --> 00:12:00,282
ampersand...
199
00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:03,121
we come to a new day
on "no such street."
200
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,941
Never again
will we be afraid of cars.
201
00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:15,747
Get thee out of my way, English!
202
00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:19,253
It's time to play
in the streets!
203
00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:21,491
Haw‐haw!
204
00:12:27,937 --> 00:12:31,177
Climate change is real.
205
00:12:35,653 --> 00:12:37,156
They know I did this.
206
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:39,761
They're making eye contact
with me. Eye contact.
207
00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:42,266
Even the guy
with the boat in his driveway.
208
00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:45,005
Hey, hey, Homer, want to come
on my boat with me?
209
00:12:45,072 --> 00:12:46,007
In the water?
210
00:12:46,074 --> 00:12:47,042
Eh, we'll see.
211
00:12:47,109 --> 00:12:48,278
Uh, one step at a time.
212
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:50,415
I will never get tired of this.
213
00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:52,654
Never. Never, ever.
214
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,893
So, what do you feel like doing?
215
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,231
I don't know, I...
I feel like singing.
216
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,803
♪ You're bringing me sunshine ♪
217
00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:02,473
♪ Moe ♪
218
00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:05,345
♪ It's like vodka
with fresh lime ♪
219
00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:07,082
♪ Let it flow ♪
220
00:13:07,149 --> 00:13:09,654
♪ I'm having a fun time ♪
221
00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:11,692
♪ Whoa ♪
222
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,762
♪ Serving up red wine ♪
223
00:13:13,829 --> 00:13:15,733
♪ Pinot ♪
224
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,469
♪ I drink more than I should ♪
225
00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,875
♪ Don't it, don't it,
don't it, don't it ♪
226
00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:21,845
♪ Don't it,
don't it feel good. ♪
227
00:13:23,248 --> 00:13:25,318
Hey, are you guys an item again?
228
00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:27,924
Well, maybe, maybe.
229
00:13:27,991 --> 00:13:29,628
We definitely are.
230
00:13:29,694 --> 00:13:31,632
He has a toothbrush at my place.
231
00:13:31,698 --> 00:13:33,201
Yeah, but, yeah, it's a rental.
232
00:13:33,268 --> 00:13:36,107
Moe's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
233
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:38,746
And this time, it's gonna last.
234
00:13:38,812 --> 00:13:40,783
Way to go, Moe. Three cheers.
235
00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,286
Hip, hip, hooray!
236
00:13:42,352 --> 00:13:44,758
Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip...
237
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,795
Homer, come in
the alley with me.
238
00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:49,901
My doctor warned me not
to cut off a "hip, hip, hooray."
239
00:13:51,972 --> 00:13:53,842
Look, Maya left me once.
240
00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:55,746
I just know she's gonna
leave me again.
241
00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:57,449
This‐this is a disaster.
242
00:13:57,516 --> 00:14:00,388
You're the only guy here who
knows how to hold on to a woman.
243
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:02,860
What is your secret?
How do you keep Midge?
244
00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:05,298
Well, it's, uh... it's, um...
245
00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:06,367
Hmm.
246
00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:08,071
It helps
if you get them pregnant.
247
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:10,943
Please, I need some actual,
real advice here.
248
00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:13,147
Yeah, I better call Midge.
249
00:14:13,214 --> 00:14:14,083
Hello.
250
00:14:14,149 --> 00:14:15,620
Honey, I'm here in the alley
with Moe.
251
00:14:15,686 --> 00:14:17,422
The only woman
who ever loved him came back,
252
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,426
and he's afraid
she's gonna leave him again.
253
00:14:19,493 --> 00:14:20,630
What should he do?
254
00:14:20,696 --> 00:14:22,499
Hand him the phone.
255
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,704
Moe, trust love.
256
00:14:24,771 --> 00:14:25,940
Gotcha.
257
00:14:26,007 --> 00:14:27,209
Your wife's an idiot.
258
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:28,879
Another tray of doughnuts.
259
00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:30,816
This time from
that family over there.
260
00:14:30,883 --> 00:14:33,087
Geez, I can't take
all this adulation.
261
00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:35,258
This must be what drove
Randy Quaid crazy.
262
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:36,962
Mr. Simpson, will you throw out
263
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,666
the first pitch
at my Little League game?
264
00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:41,070
Want to have coffee
on my boat in the parking lot?
265
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,807
Do you ever take it
in the water?
266
00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:43,976
Not yet.
267
00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:45,946
Please, I'm just here to eat.
268
00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:47,784
Geez, you were mad
they didn't like you,
269
00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,386
and now you're mad
they like you.
270
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,492
I just want to be left alone
with my to‐do list.
271
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,796
Excuse me.
272
00:14:53,862 --> 00:14:55,766
Will you be godfather
to my baby?
273
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:57,402
Let me see it.
274
00:14:57,469 --> 00:14:59,039
Ugh. Pass.
275
00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,941
Okay, Moe.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
276
00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:03,549
I'm just getting
some stuff for dinner.
277
00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:05,485
‐Love you.
‐Mwah.
278
00:15:05,553 --> 00:15:07,222
Love you, too.
279
00:15:07,289 --> 00:15:10,161
Moe. Oh, Moe.
280
00:15:10,228 --> 00:15:12,032
Huh?
281
00:15:12,099 --> 00:15:14,303
Look at you. Look at us.
282
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,407
She's not gonna come back.
283
00:15:16,474 --> 00:15:18,645
‐They never come back.
‐Oh, yeah?
284
00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:21,384
Well, this time,
I'm not gonna listen to mirrors
285
00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:22,519
or mud puddles
286
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,991
or my upside‐down face
in a spoon.
287
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,496
This time, I'm gonna believe.
288
00:15:27,563 --> 00:15:29,433
Oh, no, you're not.
289
00:15:30,201 --> 00:15:32,038
No one could love you.
290
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:33,441
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
291
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,613
What does it take
to get a beer around here?
292
00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,815
Shut up!
293
00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:38,819
Shut up?
I would stop coming here
294
00:15:38,886 --> 00:15:41,056
if you weren't the only place
in stumbling distance.
295
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:42,426
You are not real.
296
00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:44,798
You're just that nagging
voice of self‐doubt
297
00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,167
that lives in my head.
298
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,304
That's right.
Easy in, easy out.
299
00:15:48,371 --> 00:15:50,074
Well, this time,
I'm gonna stop you
300
00:15:50,141 --> 00:15:52,512
before you wreck my life.
301
00:15:54,516 --> 00:15:57,723
Now you're a loser
with seven years bad luck.
302
00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,900
♪ No one likes you ♪
303
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,536
♪ You're the worst ♪
304
00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:08,044
♪ We'd all be happy
if your head just burst ♪
305
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:11,217
♪ The world could not
hate you more ♪
306
00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:16,260
♪ You lousy,
oozing canker sore ♪
307
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,732
I guess what
we're trying to say is...
308
00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:22,072
♪ You'll die alone. ♪
309
00:16:22,138 --> 00:16:23,207
You're right.
310
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,078
You beautiful bastards
are right.
311
00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:31,090
‐
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐Ah, yeah.
312
00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:35,900
Huh? What the...?
313
00:16:35,966 --> 00:16:38,070
Moe? You're hiding here?
314
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,809
Yeah. Bart's treehouse
is the one place
315
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,379
no one will look for me.
316
00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,283
Plus, there are
no girls allowed,
317
00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:46,287
which, uh, helps.
318
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,257
Moe's going through
a tough time, son.
319
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:49,627
Just play around him.
320
00:16:49,694 --> 00:16:51,698
We'll just pretend
he's a dead, rotting alien.
321
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:52,733
Thank you, son.
322
00:16:57,677 --> 00:16:59,313
The alien's alive!
323
00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,317
‐And it has feelings.
‐Kill him!
324
00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,974
I'm sorry, no breakfast
325
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,211
until you get Moe out
of the treehouse.
326
00:17:16,347 --> 00:17:19,219
And I'll keep your bacon safe
while you're gone.
327
00:17:20,488 --> 00:17:23,260
Thank God I have
my pocket bacon.
328
00:17:24,262 --> 00:17:27,302
Moe, you can't stay here
anymore.
329
00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:29,506
Sure, I can. Uh, you want
some eggs with that?
330
00:17:29,574 --> 00:17:31,778
I got 'em out of that nest
over there.
331
00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,114
Just one.
332
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,018
I don't want to be rude.
333
00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:36,955
Listen, Moe,
every once in a while,
334
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:40,395
a beautiful woman falls in love
with a homely guy like us.
335
00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:42,265
You got to make the most of it.
336
00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:45,471
If Kevin James can find
happiness, why can't you?
337
00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:47,710
And he was always
wearing shorts.
338
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:50,683
You know, after all these years,
I dated all these women,
339
00:17:50,749 --> 00:17:53,622
and it always just goes back
to square one.
340
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:55,224
Lonely old Moe.
341
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,162
Well, there is
a way around that.
342
00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,865
You could propose.
343
00:17:58,932 --> 00:18:00,468
Wha...?
344
00:18:00,535 --> 00:18:03,675
What are you proposing
I propose?
345
00:18:03,742 --> 00:18:06,046
I mean the big "M."
346
00:18:06,113 --> 00:18:08,050
‐Murder‐suicide?
‐No.
347
00:18:08,117 --> 00:18:10,421
‐Marriage.
‐ Marriage? Whoa.
348
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:12,292
You mean I could have
the thing you're always
349
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,731
coming into my bar
and moaning about?
350
00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:18,337
You know what? She's worth it.
351
00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:20,441
I'll give it a shot.
352
00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:24,884
Okay. This is as far as we go.
353
00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:26,386
Yeah, yeah, okay.
354
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,457
Let me just
straighten myself up.
355
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,097
You'd better speak fast,
or for the second time,
356
00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:50,034
you're gonna lose
the first good thing
357
00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:51,470
that's ever happened to you.
358
00:18:51,537 --> 00:18:53,374
I'm so sorry.
You're great, so great,
359
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,011
and all I've been is afraid.
360
00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:00,354
But all I got to do
is look in your eyes.
361
00:19:00,421 --> 00:19:02,158
Baby, I love you so much.
362
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:05,097
You stick with me, you'll get
everything you ever wanted.
363
00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:07,001
I will never doubt you again.
364
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:08,504
You can control the remote.
365
00:19:08,572 --> 00:19:10,742
You can pick all our vacations.
366
00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:13,447
And because I know
the ladies like it this way,
367
00:19:13,514 --> 00:19:16,086
I will leave the toilet seat on.
368
00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:19,025
Maya, will you marry me?
369
00:19:23,802 --> 00:19:25,071
Forget it, loser.
370
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:27,008
Gorillas like us
don't get the girl.
371
00:19:27,075 --> 00:19:30,716
We're lucky if our cage
gets hosed down once a week.
372
00:19:30,782 --> 00:19:32,051
Yes.
373
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:33,989
I knew it! That's it.
374
00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:35,592
I'm never getting up again.
375
00:19:35,659 --> 00:19:38,264
Staying here, on the ground.
376
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,268
Wait, you‐you said yes.
377
00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:42,907
Yes, Moe. Yes.
378
00:19:47,783 --> 00:19:51,523
♪ Memories ♪
379
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:56,868
♪ Light the corners of my mind ♪
380
00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:02,846
♪ Misty, watercolored ♪
381
00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:07,155
♪ Memories ♪
382
00:20:07,221 --> 00:20:12,432
♪ Of the way we were. ♪
383
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,739
Good song, but, uh,
the movie is crap.
384
00:20:21,985 --> 00:20:23,087
What is it, Mosie?
385
00:20:23,153 --> 00:20:24,456
Oh, it's just, uh...
386
00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,226
I ain't never been able
to use this...
387
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:27,830
until now.
388
00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,436
‐
‐Aw.
389
00:20:31,503 --> 00:20:34,342
Here you go, my good man.
390
00:20:34,409 --> 00:20:37,115
Eh, this expired‐a
ten years ago.
391
00:20:37,181 --> 00:20:38,317
Ah, damn it!
392
00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:39,486
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
393
00:20:39,553 --> 00:20:40,789
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
394
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,525
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
395
00:20:42,593 --> 00:20:43,828
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
396
00:20:43,895 --> 00:20:46,701
"Identify all
the existentialists."
397
00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:49,539
Celebrity chefs.
398
00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:52,980
Very soft minerals.
399
00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:55,552
Bebop jazz musicians. Yes!
400
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,858
Tropical birds.
401
00:21:00,194 --> 00:21:01,998
Chess grand masters?
402
00:21:03,233 --> 00:21:04,904
Stone fruits?
403
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,711
American Revolutionary battles?
404
00:21:09,914 --> 00:21:11,884
Nail shank diameters?
405
00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:15,024
Aah! And I'm in. Ha.
406
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:16,426
Lisa, time for bed.
407
00:21:16,493 --> 00:21:18,631
Oh, man.
408
00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,747
Shh!