1 00:00:06,088 --> 00:00:08,326 (electronic beeping and chiming) 2 00:00:08,393 --> 00:00:11,132 Don't rot your brain on Satan's calculator. 3 00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:13,837 Babies need real toys like these. 4 00:00:16,409 --> 00:00:18,413 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,487 (fanfare plays) 6 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,924 ‐It's Princess Maggie. ‐(courtiers exclaiming) 7 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,028 Princess Maggie's here. 8 00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,899 Princess Maggie, what's wrong? 9 00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:29,435 The girl is bored. 10 00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:32,274 Royal court, entertain my daughter at once. 11 00:00:32,341 --> 00:00:35,615 No princess can frown when her eardrums are pulsing 12 00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:38,554 with the beat of iambic pentameter. 13 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,025 That's quite a frown. 14 00:00:41,092 --> 00:00:42,494 Out of my way! 15 00:00:42,562 --> 00:00:45,901 I've got no shame or regard for my own well‐being. 16 00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:48,539 Hey, hey! 17 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:49,709 (Krusty groans) 18 00:00:49,776 --> 00:00:52,214 You fools have failed the princess. 19 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,853 We have no other option. We must give her... 20 00:00:54,919 --> 00:00:57,491 ‐the special gift. ‐(gasping) 21 00:00:58,661 --> 00:01:01,532 ‐♪ ♪ ‐(onlookers chatter in wonder) 22 00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:08,513 ‐(onlookers gasp) ‐(roars) 23 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:17,899 Goodbye, Princess Maggie. Goodbye. 24 00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:20,705 (roaring) 25 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,911 (screaming) 26 00:01:23,977 --> 00:01:25,180 ¡Ay, caramba! 27 00:01:25,246 --> 00:01:27,484 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:28,954 --> 00:01:29,956 MARGE: Oh, boy. 29 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,192 Homer, 30 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,329 your father's messing up the baby again. 31 00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:35,533 (electronic beeping and chiming) 32 00:01:35,601 --> 00:01:38,439 ♪ ♪ 33 00:01:44,986 --> 00:01:47,023 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:53,937 --> 00:01:55,808 (grunting) 35 00:01:57,110 --> 00:01:58,714 (belches) 36 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:05,561 ♪ ♪ 37 00:02:07,531 --> 00:02:09,401 (groans) 38 00:02:10,236 --> 00:02:12,440 (bell dings) 39 00:02:13,977 --> 00:02:15,513 (whinnies) 40 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,027 Way ahead of you, pal. 41 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,435 (whistles) 42 00:02:30,143 --> 00:02:32,380 (laughing) 43 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,292 My eyes... 44 00:02:49,983 --> 00:02:52,020 (horns honking) 45 00:02:54,893 --> 00:02:57,397 Where did all this traffic come from? 46 00:02:57,464 --> 00:03:00,069 It's like my favorite movie ever, Cars 3. 47 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,073 I hated Cars 1 and 2. 48 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,344 (horns honking) 49 00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:10,056 (chuckles) I'm unsupervised. 50 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,292 Have no fear. 51 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,329 Safety is here. (grunts) 52 00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,868 Traffic, no traffic‐‐ what's the difference? 53 00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:19,107 I got nothing to be late for and no one who cares. 54 00:03:19,174 --> 00:03:21,412 ♪ ♪ 55 00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:29,829 (Homer and Marge giggling) 56 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:36,776 Let's take this from Disney+ to HBO Max. 57 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:39,047 (both giggling) 58 00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:41,586 (horn honking) 59 00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:43,522 HOMER: Oh, Marge, you haven't honked 60 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,226 like this since high school. 61 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,230 It's a traffic jam. 62 00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,534 (horns continue honking) 63 00:03:51,873 --> 00:03:53,209 (humming) 64 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:57,450 My, my, look at all those middle fingers raised to the Lord. 65 00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:01,158 Wait a minute. That car looks familiar. 66 00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:02,962 Hey, that looks like... (gasps) 67 00:04:03,029 --> 00:04:05,834 (intro to "The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand plays) 68 00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:08,039 No, don't go there, Moe. Don't go there. 69 00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:09,809 Erase, erase, erase! 70 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,880 (tires squealing) 71 00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:26,643 (grunts) Oh, come on. 72 00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,547 We put up a sign and everything. 73 00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:30,116 This is so unreal. 74 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:33,355 Why did all this traffic suddenly appear on our street? 75 00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:35,493 Wayz told me this was the fastest route. 76 00:04:35,561 --> 00:04:38,132 That's important when you're selling your organs. 77 00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:39,501 Oh, my God, I've heard of this. 78 00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:40,938 That app routes traffic 79 00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,775 through a quiet residential neighborhood, 80 00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:45,379 turning it into a gridlocked nightmare. 81 00:04:45,446 --> 00:04:46,683 ("Traffic Jam" by James Taylor playing) 82 00:04:46,749 --> 00:04:48,887 ♪ Damn this traffic jam ♪ 83 00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:51,593 ♪ How I hate to be late, it hurts my motor... ♪ 84 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,665 Sorry, I met someone in another car. 85 00:04:54,732 --> 00:04:57,504 ‐(laughs) ‐♪ Time I get home, my supper will be cold ♪ 86 00:04:57,571 --> 00:04:59,842 ♪ Damn this traffic jam ♪ 87 00:05:00,911 --> 00:05:03,149 ♪ Well, I left my job about five o'clock ♪ 88 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,587 ♪ It took 15 minutes to go three blocks... ♪ 89 00:05:05,654 --> 00:05:07,357 We need to do something. 90 00:05:07,423 --> 00:05:09,528 This is driving the neighborhood nuts. 91 00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:12,200 Even the guy who's always in his underwear. 92 00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:14,137 This is more than I put on for Zoom. 93 00:05:14,204 --> 00:05:16,175 Enough with the traffic. 94 00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:18,078 I'm calling a neighborhood meeting. 95 00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:19,649 (bell chiming) 96 00:05:19,715 --> 00:05:21,251 TOWN CRIER: Neighborhood Meeting. 97 00:05:21,318 --> 00:05:22,855 Neighborhood meeting. 98 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:26,596 Please rate my app. Please rate my app. 99 00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:29,902 Two stars? My IPO is ruined. 100 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:32,207 Ruined! Ruined! 101 00:05:32,273 --> 00:05:34,579 (horns honking) 102 00:05:34,645 --> 00:05:36,315 We're here to talk about 103 00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:39,454 the terrible problem on our street. 104 00:05:39,521 --> 00:05:41,458 ‐Finally. ‐About time. 105 00:05:41,525 --> 00:05:45,466 We assume you're talking about you, the Simpsons. 106 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,569 BOTH: Wha...? 107 00:05:46,636 --> 00:05:48,239 I've seen the boy's moons more times 108 00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:50,544 than I've seen the real one, and I'm an astronomer. 109 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,146 What's wrong with us? 110 00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:55,319 You haven't stopped by to say hello in 25 years, 111 00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:57,056 and I live next door. 112 00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,329 The only good one's the baby, and she shot a guy. 113 00:06:00,396 --> 00:06:01,699 (neighbors murmuring) 114 00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:03,570 Wait, are we ignoring the elephant in the room? 115 00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:05,707 By which I mean the big, fat husband. 116 00:06:05,774 --> 00:06:07,778 Every time Homer wears corduroys, 117 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:10,951 I just hear those thighs scraping, scraping, scraping. 118 00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:13,690 Oh, my God. I'm starting to get the idea 119 00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:16,161 you think we're not good neighbors. 120 00:06:16,228 --> 00:06:18,465 (pants scraping) 121 00:06:18,532 --> 00:06:19,802 You see? You see? 122 00:06:19,869 --> 00:06:21,538 Now, don't worry, my friends. 123 00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:23,877 I'm stepping forward to fix this traffic. 124 00:06:23,943 --> 00:06:27,216 And by doing so, maybe... just maybe I'll fix 125 00:06:27,283 --> 00:06:29,287 my reputation with you all. 126 00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:34,699 So just say to me what I say to Tinker Bell: "I believe." 127 00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:38,472 And... off I go. 128 00:06:38,539 --> 00:06:40,009 (pants scraping) 129 00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:47,056 Um... no. 130 00:06:47,858 --> 00:06:49,260 "Identify all traffic lights." 131 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:50,363 Done. 132 00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:52,066 "Identify all yield signs." 133 00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:53,235 Done. 134 00:06:53,302 --> 00:06:55,072 "Identify all the crosswalks." 135 00:06:55,139 --> 00:06:58,412 Oh! Lisa, help me. 136 00:06:58,479 --> 00:06:59,782 Done. 137 00:06:59,849 --> 00:07:01,385 "Identify all fire hydrants." 138 00:07:01,451 --> 00:07:02,588 Done. 139 00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:04,057 Jesuits? Done. 140 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,660 20th‐century dictators? 141 00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:07,765 Uh, overrated fiction? 142 00:07:07,831 --> 00:07:10,937 (groans) Hyperintelligent cartoon characters? 143 00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,674 Vegan nut milks? 144 00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:14,578 Future criminals? 145 00:07:14,645 --> 00:07:16,616 Aah! New England doorways! 146 00:07:16,682 --> 00:07:18,887 Oh, forget this. I'm calling instead. 147 00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:21,358 AUTOMATED VOICE: You've reached Wayz customer service. 148 00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:24,932 You have 5,700 callers ahead of you. 149 00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:28,573 Now, please enjoy the frustrated noises of other callers on hold. 150 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,610 (people groaning) 151 00:07:30,677 --> 00:07:32,714 WOMAN: I'm gonna blow my brains out. 152 00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:34,685 ‐(birds singing) ‐(engines running) 153 00:07:34,752 --> 00:07:37,089 ‐(horn honks) ‐You again? 154 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,893 (horn honking) 155 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,097 Can it be her, after all these years? 156 00:07:41,164 --> 00:07:45,206 The woman I thought was the one stuck behind my car? 157 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,013 ("The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand playing) 158 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,186 ♪ Mmm, mmm ♪ 159 00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:58,733 ♪ Mmm‐mmm‐mmm, mmm‐mmm‐mmm... ♪ 160 00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,206 Hi, Moe. I missed you. 161 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,743 I never should've left. 162 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:07,149 Maya. The longest, best relationship of my life. 163 00:08:07,216 --> 00:08:10,155 That was a great six days. 164 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,961 You're a good kisser. 165 00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:15,700 (chuckles): Yeah. I practice by siphoning gas 166 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,704 out of other people's tanks. 167 00:08:17,771 --> 00:08:21,144 So, is there a knob or an "open sesame" type deal or what? 168 00:08:21,211 --> 00:08:23,081 My house is over there. 169 00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:24,083 MOE: Wha...? 170 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,154 ♪ ♪ 171 00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:31,766 Every day since you left me, I've written you a letter. 172 00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:34,838 Really wish I had gotten your address. 173 00:08:40,349 --> 00:08:42,219 ♪ ♪ 174 00:08:42,286 --> 00:08:43,756 So, how you been, Maya? 175 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,328 Well, I finally got my PhD. 176 00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:47,898 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 177 00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:49,835 You taking medicine for that or what? 178 00:08:49,902 --> 00:08:51,204 (laughs): Oh, Moe. 179 00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:53,776 It's nice to laugh again. How are you? 180 00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:55,446 Oh, I‐I'm doing great. 181 00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:57,918 Yeah, the factory closed, so there's lots of new drunks. 182 00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,788 And, uh, oh, the bathroom possum 183 00:08:59,855 --> 00:09:02,293 is getting real good at handing out them combs. 184 00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:08,338 (sighs) Who am I kidding? 185 00:09:08,405 --> 00:09:10,009 My life is a wreck, Maya. 186 00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:13,348 The face recognition software on my phone says, "Yuck." 187 00:09:13,415 --> 00:09:15,887 My playlist only has breakup songs. 188 00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,392 (à la Rodney Dangerfield): It's rough, I'm telling you, yeah. 189 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,131 I miss you, Moses Marie Szyslak. 190 00:09:21,197 --> 00:09:23,736 Oh, no, no, no. Please don't give me that look. 191 00:09:23,803 --> 00:09:26,174 I can't go through it again, Maya. I can't. 192 00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:29,480 Ah, just look at you walking toward me, coming closer, 193 00:09:29,548 --> 00:09:31,484 with those big green eyes of yours 194 00:09:31,552 --> 00:09:33,021 and the great‐smelling hair, 195 00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:36,161 skin smoother than American cheese. 196 00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:43,241 But I want a drink now. 197 00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:45,412 ♪ ♪ 198 00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:52,359 Oh, I wish this moment could last forever, like, uh... 199 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,466 uh, I don't know, uh, Henry Winkler's career. 200 00:09:55,532 --> 00:09:57,470 Boy, that guy never jumped the shark. 201 00:09:57,536 --> 00:09:59,207 Not even when he jumped the shark. 202 00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:03,148 Just so I know, have you had another girlfriend since me? 203 00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:04,685 Uh, not really, no. 204 00:10:04,752 --> 00:10:06,187 Uh, no one could match you. 205 00:10:06,254 --> 00:10:09,093 I mean, I have been catfished a few times. 206 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,229 Hey, Moe. 207 00:10:10,295 --> 00:10:12,734 (chuckling): It's us, "Online Gloria." 208 00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:15,272 I'll kill you! Also, I love you. 209 00:10:15,339 --> 00:10:17,677 (both laughing) 210 00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:20,349 Oh, Moe, you poor guy. 211 00:10:21,184 --> 00:10:23,121 MOE: Oh, everything is perfect. 212 00:10:23,188 --> 00:10:27,229 Which it always is until I say, "I love you." 213 00:10:29,802 --> 00:10:31,939 I love you. 214 00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:40,022 (chuckles): I love you. Will you marry me? 215 00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:46,267 (buzzer blares) 216 00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:47,436 To hell with women. 217 00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:49,842 I love you, New York. 218 00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:53,448 Help me. Spider‐Man! 219 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,060 (sighs) 220 00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,132 Professor, can you get the traffic off our street? 221 00:11:02,199 --> 00:11:03,903 I'll give you anything except for money 222 00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:05,439 or credit for what you did. 223 00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:09,180 The only way to defeat a global data behemoth 224 00:11:09,247 --> 00:11:11,517 is to get into the source code. 225 00:11:11,585 --> 00:11:15,058 Just look what I did here on, uh... on the Wikipedia. 226 00:11:16,829 --> 00:11:18,064 (impressed murmuring) 227 00:11:18,131 --> 00:11:20,435 ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Wayz. 228 00:11:20,502 --> 00:11:23,876 We figure out the fastest route to get you where you want to go. 229 00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:26,514 Our secret? Always collecting data. 230 00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:28,218 But we would never misuse it. 231 00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:29,988 (chuckling): Who do you think we are, Google? 232 00:11:30,055 --> 00:11:32,026 Disclaimer: We're owned by Google. 233 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,128 I've got the answer. 234 00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:36,568 What if we made your street... (mutters gibberish) 235 00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:37,938 ...not exist? 236 00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,841 Well, where would we live? 237 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,545 (chuckles): Well, that's quite silly. 238 00:11:41,612 --> 00:11:44,818 It would, of course, still exist in real life, 239 00:11:44,885 --> 00:11:47,624 but I could make it disappear from the database. 240 00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:49,393 (mutters gibberish) 241 00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:51,097 ‐All right, let us see here. ‐(typing) 242 00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:53,268 Uh, keystrokes, keystrokes, escape key, 243 00:11:53,335 --> 00:11:56,709 both colon and semicolon, backslash, backslash, 244 00:11:56,775 --> 00:12:00,282 ampersand... 245 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:03,121 we come to a new day on "no such street." 246 00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:04,791 (chuckles, mutters gibberish) 247 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,363 (Simpsons gasping) 248 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,941 Never again will we be afraid of cars. 249 00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:15,747 MAN: Get thee out of my way, English! 250 00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:19,253 It's time to play in the streets! 251 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:21,491 Haw‐haw! 252 00:12:27,937 --> 00:12:31,177 (whimpers) Climate change is real. 253 00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:33,883 (applause) 254 00:12:35,653 --> 00:12:37,156 They know I did this. 255 00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:39,761 They're making eye contact with me. Eye contact. 256 00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:42,266 Even the guy with the boat in his driveway. 257 00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:45,005 Hey, hey, Homer, want to come on my boat with me? 258 00:12:45,072 --> 00:12:46,007 In the water? 259 00:12:46,074 --> 00:12:47,042 Eh, we'll see. 260 00:12:47,109 --> 00:12:48,278 Uh, one step at a time. 261 00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:50,415 I will never get tired of this. 262 00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:52,654 Never. Never, ever. 263 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,893 So, what do you feel like doing? 264 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,231 I don't know, I... I feel like singing. 265 00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,803 ♪ You're bringing me sunshine ♪ 266 00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:02,473 ♪ Moe ♪ 267 00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:05,345 ♪ It's like vodka with fresh lime ♪ 268 00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:07,082 ♪ Let it flow ♪ 269 00:13:07,149 --> 00:13:09,654 ♪ I'm having a fun time ♪ 270 00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:11,692 ♪ Whoa ♪ 271 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,762 ♪ Serving up red wine ♪ 272 00:13:13,829 --> 00:13:15,733 ♪ Pinot ♪ 273 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,469 ♪ I drink more than I should ♪ 274 00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,875 ♪ Don't it, don't it, don't it, don't it ♪ 275 00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:21,845 ♪ Don't it, don't it feel good. ♪ 276 00:13:21,912 --> 00:13:23,181 (belches) 277 00:13:23,248 --> 00:13:25,318 Hey, are you guys an item again? 278 00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:27,924 (chuckles) Well, maybe, maybe. 279 00:13:27,991 --> 00:13:29,628 We definitely are. 280 00:13:29,694 --> 00:13:31,632 He has a toothbrush at my place. 281 00:13:31,698 --> 00:13:33,201 Yeah, but, yeah, it's a rental. 282 00:13:33,268 --> 00:13:36,107 Moe's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 283 00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:38,746 And this time, it's gonna last. 284 00:13:38,812 --> 00:13:40,783 Way to go, Moe. Three cheers. 285 00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,286 ALL: Hip, hip, hooray! 286 00:13:42,352 --> 00:13:44,758 Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip... 287 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,795 Homer, come in the alley with me. 288 00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:49,901 (gasps) My doctor warned me not to cut off a "hip, hip, hooray." 289 00:13:49,968 --> 00:13:51,905 (taking deep, gasping breaths) 290 00:13:51,972 --> 00:13:53,842 Look, Maya left me once. 291 00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:55,746 I just know she's gonna leave me again. 292 00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:57,449 This‐this is a disaster. 293 00:13:57,516 --> 00:14:00,388 You're the only guy here who knows how to hold on to a woman. 294 00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:02,860 What is your secret? How do you keep Midge? 295 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:05,298 Well, it's, uh... it's, um... 296 00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:06,367 Hmm. 297 00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:08,071 It helps if you get them pregnant. 298 00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:10,943 Please, I need some actual, real advice here. 299 00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:13,147 Yeah, I better call Midge. 300 00:14:13,214 --> 00:14:14,083 Hello. 301 00:14:14,149 --> 00:14:15,620 Honey, I'm here in the alley with Moe. 302 00:14:15,686 --> 00:14:17,422 The only woman who ever loved him came back, 303 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,426 and he's afraid she's gonna leave him again. 304 00:14:19,493 --> 00:14:20,630 What should he do? 305 00:14:20,696 --> 00:14:22,499 Hand him the phone. 306 00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,704 Moe, trust love. 307 00:14:24,771 --> 00:14:25,940 Gotcha. 308 00:14:26,007 --> 00:14:27,209 Your wife's an idiot. 309 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:28,879 Another tray of doughnuts. 310 00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:30,816 This time from that family over there. 311 00:14:30,883 --> 00:14:33,087 Geez, I can't take all this adulation. 312 00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:35,258 This must be what drove Randy Quaid crazy. 313 00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:36,962 Mr. Simpson, will you throw out 314 00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,666 the first pitch at my Little League game? 315 00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:41,070 Want to have coffee on my boat in the parking lot? 316 00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,807 Do you ever take it in the water? 317 00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:43,976 Not yet. 318 00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:45,946 Please, I'm just here to eat. 319 00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:47,784 Geez, you were mad they didn't like you, 320 00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,386 and now you're mad they like you. 321 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,492 I just want to be left alone with my to‐do list. 322 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,796 Excuse me. 323 00:14:53,862 --> 00:14:55,766 Will you be godfather to my baby? 324 00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:57,402 Let me see it. 325 00:14:57,469 --> 00:14:59,039 Ugh. Pass. 326 00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,941 Okay, Moe. I'll be back in 20 minutes. 327 00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:03,549 I'm just getting some stuff for dinner. 328 00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:05,485 ‐Love you. ‐Mwah. 329 00:15:05,553 --> 00:15:07,222 Love you, too. 330 00:15:07,289 --> 00:15:10,161 MOE: Moe. Oh, Moe. 331 00:15:10,228 --> 00:15:12,032 Huh? 332 00:15:12,099 --> 00:15:14,303 Look at you. Look at us. 333 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,407 She's not gonna come back. 334 00:15:16,474 --> 00:15:18,645 ‐They never come back. ‐Oh, yeah? 335 00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:21,384 Well, this time, I'm not gonna listen to mirrors 336 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:22,519 or mud puddles 337 00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,991 or my upside‐down face in a spoon. 338 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,496 This time, I'm gonna believe. 339 00:15:27,563 --> 00:15:29,433 Oh, no, you're not. 340 00:15:30,201 --> 00:15:32,038 No one could love you. 341 00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:33,441 Stop it, stop it, stop it! 342 00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,613 What does it take to get a beer around here? 343 00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,815 BOTH MOES: Shut up! 344 00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:38,819 Shut up? I would stop coming here 345 00:15:38,886 --> 00:15:41,056 if you weren't the only place in stumbling distance. 346 00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:42,426 You are not real. 347 00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:44,798 You're just that nagging voice of self‐doubt 348 00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,167 that lives in my head. 349 00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,304 That's right. Easy in, easy out. 350 00:15:48,371 --> 00:15:50,074 Well, this time, I'm gonna stop you 351 00:15:50,141 --> 00:15:52,512 before you wreck my life. 352 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,450 (grunting) 353 00:15:54,516 --> 00:15:57,723 Now you're a loser with seven years bad luck. 354 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,561 (laughing) 355 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,896 ♪ ♪ 356 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,900 ♪ No one likes you ♪ 357 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,536 ♪ You're the worst ♪ 358 00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:08,044 ♪ We'd all be happy if your head just burst ♪ 359 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:11,217 ♪ The world could not hate you more ♪ 360 00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:16,260 ♪ You lousy, oozing canker sore ♪ 361 00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,732 (laughing): I guess what we're trying to say is... 362 00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:22,072 ♪ You'll die alone. ♪ 363 00:16:22,138 --> 00:16:23,207 You're right. 364 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,078 You beautiful bastards are right. 365 00:16:25,144 --> 00:16:27,215 (groans) 366 00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:31,090 ‐(whistles) ‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Ah, yeah. 367 00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:35,900 Huh? What the...? 368 00:16:35,966 --> 00:16:38,070 Moe? You're hiding here? 369 00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,809 Yeah. Bart's treehouse is the one place 370 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,379 no one will look for me. 371 00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,283 Plus, there are no girls allowed, 372 00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:46,287 which, uh, helps. 373 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,257 Moe's going through a tough time, son. 374 00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:49,627 Just play around him. 375 00:16:49,694 --> 00:16:51,698 We'll just pretend he's a dead, rotting alien. 376 00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:52,733 Thank you, son. 377 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,471 (Milhouse and Bart imitating weapons blasting) 378 00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:57,610 (sobbing) 379 00:16:57,677 --> 00:16:59,313 The alien's alive! 380 00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,317 ‐And it has feelings. ‐Kill him! 381 00:17:01,383 --> 00:17:02,954 (both resume imitating weapons blasting) 382 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,224 (groaning, sobbing) 383 00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,974 I'm sorry, no breakfast 384 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,211 until you get Moe out of the treehouse. 385 00:17:16,347 --> 00:17:19,219 And I'll keep your bacon safe while you're gone. 386 00:17:20,488 --> 00:17:23,260 Thank God I have my pocket bacon. 387 00:17:24,262 --> 00:17:27,302 Moe, you can't stay here anymore. 388 00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:29,506 Sure, I can. Uh, you want some eggs with that? 389 00:17:29,574 --> 00:17:31,778 I got 'em out of that nest over there. 390 00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,114 Just one. 391 00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,018 I don't want to be rude. 392 00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:36,955 Listen, Moe, every once in a while, 393 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:40,395 a beautiful woman falls in love with a homely guy like us. 394 00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:42,265 You got to make the most of it. 395 00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:45,471 If Kevin James can find happiness, why can't you? 396 00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:47,710 (laughs): And he was always wearing shorts. 397 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:50,683 You know, after all these years, I dated all these women, 398 00:17:50,749 --> 00:17:53,622 and it always just goes back to square one. 399 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:55,224 Lonely old Moe. 400 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,162 Well, there is a way around that. 401 00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,865 You could propose. 402 00:17:58,932 --> 00:18:00,468 Wha...? 403 00:18:00,535 --> 00:18:03,675 What are you proposing I propose? 404 00:18:03,742 --> 00:18:06,046 I mean the big "M." 405 00:18:06,113 --> 00:18:08,050 ‐Murder‐suicide? ‐No. 406 00:18:08,117 --> 00:18:10,421 ‐Marriage. ‐(chuckles): Marriage? Whoa. 407 00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:12,292 You mean I could have the thing you're always 408 00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,731 coming into my bar and moaning about? 409 00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:18,337 You know what? She's worth it. 410 00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:20,441 I'll give it a shot. 411 00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:24,884 Okay. This is as far as we go. 412 00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:26,386 Yeah, yeah, okay. 413 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,457 Let me just straighten myself up. 414 00:18:34,136 --> 00:18:36,306 ♪ ♪ 415 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,097 You'd better speak fast, or for the second time, 416 00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:50,034 you're gonna lose the first good thing 417 00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:51,470 that's ever happened to you. 418 00:18:51,537 --> 00:18:53,374 I'm so sorry. You're great, so great, 419 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,011 and all I've been is afraid. 420 00:18:56,748 --> 00:18:57,750 (gasps) 421 00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:00,354 But all I got to do is look in your eyes. 422 00:19:00,421 --> 00:19:02,158 Baby, I love you so much. 423 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:05,097 You stick with me, you'll get everything you ever wanted. 424 00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:07,001 I will never doubt you again. 425 00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:08,504 You can control the remote. 426 00:19:08,572 --> 00:19:10,742 You can pick all our vacations. 427 00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:13,447 And because I know the ladies like it this way, 428 00:19:13,514 --> 00:19:16,086 I will leave the toilet seat on. 429 00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:19,025 Maya, will you marry me? 430 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,330 ♪ ♪ 431 00:19:23,802 --> 00:19:25,071 Forget it, loser. 432 00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:27,008 Gorillas like us don't get the girl. 433 00:19:27,075 --> 00:19:30,716 We're lucky if our cage gets hosed down once a week. 434 00:19:30,782 --> 00:19:32,051 Yes. 435 00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:33,989 I knew it! That's it. 436 00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:35,592 I'm never getting up again. 437 00:19:35,659 --> 00:19:38,264 Staying here, on the ground. 438 00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,268 Wait, you‐you said yes. 439 00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:42,907 Yes, Moe. Yes. 440 00:19:46,013 --> 00:19:47,716 ("The Way We Were" playing) 441 00:19:47,783 --> 00:19:51,523 ♪ Memories ♪ 442 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:56,868 ♪ Light the corners of my mind ♪ 443 00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:02,846 ♪ Misty, watercolored ♪ 444 00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:07,155 ♪ Memories ♪ 445 00:20:07,221 --> 00:20:12,432 ♪ Of the way we were. ♪ 446 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,739 Good song, but, uh, the movie is crap. 447 00:20:20,448 --> 00:20:21,918 (crying, sniffling) 448 00:20:21,985 --> 00:20:23,087 What is it, Mosie? 449 00:20:23,153 --> 00:20:24,456 Oh, it's just, uh... 450 00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,226 I ain't never been able to use this... 451 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:27,830 until now. 452 00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,436 ‐(sobs) ‐Aw. 453 00:20:31,503 --> 00:20:34,342 Here you go, my good man. 454 00:20:34,409 --> 00:20:37,115 Eh, this expired‐a ten years ago. 455 00:20:37,181 --> 00:20:38,317 Ah, damn it! 456 00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:39,486 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 457 00:20:39,553 --> 00:20:40,789 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 458 00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,525 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 459 00:20:42,593 --> 00:20:43,828 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 460 00:20:43,895 --> 00:20:46,701 LISA: "Identify all the existentialists." 461 00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:49,539 Celebrity chefs. 462 00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:52,980 Very soft minerals. 463 00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:55,552 Bebop jazz musicians. Yes! 464 00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,858 Tropical birds. 465 00:21:00,194 --> 00:21:01,998 Chess grand masters? 466 00:21:03,233 --> 00:21:04,904 Stone fruits? 467 00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,711 American Revolutionary battles? 468 00:21:09,914 --> 00:21:11,884 Nail shank diameters? 469 00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:15,024 Aah! And I'm in. Ha. 470 00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:16,426 MARGE: Lisa, time for bed. 471 00:21:16,493 --> 00:21:18,631 LISA: Oh, man. 472 00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,747 Shh!