1
00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:17,946
Riot Rivers!
2
00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:18,747
Aah!
3
00:00:20,116 --> 00:00:21,720
(humming softly)
4
00:00:21,787 --> 00:00:24,091
‐Riot Rivers!
‐(gasps)
5
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,828
HOMER (staticky):
Honey, are you in there?
6
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,030
Yes.
7
00:00:27,097 --> 00:00:29,201
‐Riot Rivers!
‐Aah!
8
00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:32,207
(chanting):
Ri‐ot Riv‐ers! Ri‐ot Riv‐ers!
9
00:00:32,274 --> 00:00:33,944
There it is! Turn!
10
00:00:34,011 --> 00:00:35,513
‐(tires squealing)
‐Calm down!
11
00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:37,117
I'm not gonna miss
your stupid water park.
12
00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:38,721
It's not stupid.
13
00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:41,627
Riot Rivers was the
greatest summer job I ever had.
14
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,833
Getting paid to watch people
of all ages eat it,
15
00:00:44,899 --> 00:00:46,402
again and again.
16
00:00:46,469 --> 00:00:49,074
Just eatin' it so hard!
17
00:00:49,141 --> 00:00:50,611
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
18
00:00:50,678 --> 00:00:51,980
(laughter)
19
00:00:52,047 --> 00:00:54,653
♪ I wanna rock ♪
20
00:00:54,719 --> 00:00:57,090
♪ Rock! ♪
21
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,996
‐♪ I want to rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
22
00:01:00,063 --> 00:01:01,465
Wait a minute.
23
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:04,104
They did a documentary
about this place.
24
00:01:04,171 --> 00:01:06,409
(dramatic music plays)
25
00:01:09,248 --> 00:01:11,352
No, it didn't
happen that way.
26
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,456
There was different music.
27
00:01:14,258 --> 00:01:17,097
(giggling)
28
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,801
Hmm?
29
00:01:18,867 --> 00:01:20,270
Quiet Rivers?!
30
00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:22,842
They changed the "ruh"
to a "qwah."
31
00:01:22,909 --> 00:01:24,411
Did you know about this?
32
00:01:24,478 --> 00:01:26,850
I told you they changed the name
before we left.
33
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,021
I thought you were joking.
34
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,858
That's the problem
with you, Marge.
35
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,829
You're always kidding around.
36
00:01:32,895 --> 00:01:34,431
(laughter and chatter)
37
00:01:34,498 --> 00:01:37,037
HOMER (groaning):
Oh...
38
00:01:37,104 --> 00:01:39,141
Oh!
39
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:40,811
Come on!
40
00:01:40,878 --> 00:01:44,284
See? They turned all the super
cool rides into baby rides.
41
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:45,821
And the teens working here‐‐
42
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:47,725
they're not even laughing
at the kids wiping out.
43
00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,528
They're loading them in
feet first.
44
00:01:49,596 --> 00:01:51,867
Hey! Where are your cutoffs?
45
00:01:51,933 --> 00:01:53,570
Are you even high?
46
00:01:55,106 --> 00:01:56,610
There's nothing worse
in this universe
47
00:01:56,676 --> 00:01:59,014
than a ride steering wheel
that does nothing.
48
00:01:59,081 --> 00:02:00,416
No, it does something.
49
00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:02,822
It makes the frog smile.
50
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,128
‐(Maggie babbles)
‐(Milhouse humming)
51
00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:08,767
Oh, man, swim diapers.
52
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,638
I remember those.
53
00:02:10,704 --> 00:02:12,340
True freedom.
54
00:02:12,407 --> 00:02:15,380
I could tell you some stories.
55
00:02:21,091 --> 00:02:22,327
BOTH:
56
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,031
Can we leave yet?
Can we leave yet?
57
00:02:24,097 --> 00:02:25,366
Aw, you kids don't know,
58
00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,605
but this place
used to be so bitchin'.
59
00:02:27,672 --> 00:02:30,176
And the best slide of all
was right over there.
60
00:02:30,243 --> 00:02:31,613
Think of it.
61
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,184
90% of all hospitalizations
62
00:02:34,251 --> 00:02:36,322
off just one ride!
63
00:02:36,388 --> 00:02:38,894
I wonder...
64
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,873
(gasps)
It's still here.
65
00:02:44,939 --> 00:02:48,179
The Devil's Deluge had
the longest lines,
66
00:02:48,246 --> 00:02:51,820
the scariest turns,
even its own ambulance!
67
00:02:53,891 --> 00:02:55,828
Hello, my love.
68
00:02:55,895 --> 00:02:58,232
Did you miss me?
69
00:02:58,299 --> 00:03:00,336
♪ ♪
70
00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:02,642
Wow.
71
00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,311
‐Looks dry.
‐(wind whistling)
72
00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:06,181
And dangerous.
73
00:03:06,248 --> 00:03:08,486
(Homer grunting softly)
74
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,062
Children, behold the deluge.
75
00:03:13,129 --> 00:03:15,333
For today,
we punch fear in the face
76
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,638
and steal death's girlfriend,
77
00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:20,945
as we truly live
for the first time.
78
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,416
(crashes)
79
00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:25,821
Also, this is
now the only way down.
80
00:03:28,326 --> 00:03:30,363
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
81
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:32,400
(Bart and Lisa screaming)
82
00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:34,104
‐Branch!
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
83
00:03:34,171 --> 00:03:35,607
‐♪ Rock! ♪
‐Possums!
84
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,576
O‐possums!
85
00:03:36,643 --> 00:03:37,979
‐♪ I want to rock ♪
‐(hissing)
86
00:03:38,045 --> 00:03:38,947
♪ Rock! ♪
87
00:03:39,014 --> 00:03:41,218
(Bart shouting)
88
00:03:41,285 --> 00:03:43,857
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
89
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,362
(all yelling)
90
00:03:46,428 --> 00:03:49,067
‐♪ I wanna rock ♪
‐♪ Rock! ♪
91
00:03:49,134 --> 00:03:52,540
(laughter)
92
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,279
Oh, man, I saw my life flash
before my eyes.
93
00:03:55,346 --> 00:03:57,384
I've had an awesome life.
94
00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:59,521
(laughter)
95
00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:03,229
Oh, look at those smiles.
96
00:04:03,295 --> 00:04:06,101
I knew
you guys could have fun here.
97
00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:08,272
Yeah, nothing gets
the heart pumping
98
00:04:08,339 --> 00:04:10,944
like a brush with... nothing.
99
00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:12,514
(stomachs gurgling)
100
00:04:12,581 --> 00:04:14,752
Um, I don't feel so good.
101
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:18,827
Aw. The quiet rivers
in my tummy are becoming...
102
00:04:18,894 --> 00:04:21,165
raging waters.
103
00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:22,835
Upstairs or downstairs?
104
00:04:22,902 --> 00:04:23,937
‐Both!
‐Both!
105
00:04:25,239 --> 00:04:27,845
Uh, out of the water!
Out of the water!
106
00:04:27,912 --> 00:04:31,452
(sirens blaring)
107
00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:33,790
Not me this time.
108
00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:37,598
According to these tests,
109
00:04:37,665 --> 00:04:40,436
your kids' insides
and outsides have been exposed
110
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:43,309
to a toxic mix
of 30‐year‐old hairspray,
111
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:45,714
hot dog water, opossum dander,
112
00:04:45,781 --> 00:04:49,054
and a grab bag of intestinal
and skin‐based parasites.
113
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,591
(chuckles)
114
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:53,730
Oh, my poor queasy babies.
115
00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:56,769
Hmm. I wonder
why Homer didn't get sick.
116
00:04:56,836 --> 00:04:58,707
He even went to work today.
117
00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:02,313
‐(sirens blaring)
‐HOMER: Upstairs and downstairs!
118
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:05,687
Bart and Lisa will be fine
after a little TLC.
119
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:08,693
By TLC, I mean
"taking Lorexo‐Cortisone."
120
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,733
And by little, I mean
a four‐week intensive regimen.
121
00:05:11,799 --> 00:05:15,306
Oh, steroids?
Are there any side effects?
122
00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:16,743
Nothing serious.
123
00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:18,947
Maybe a little
temporary weight gain.
124
00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:22,855
Hurry up, kids!
125
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:25,761
You don't want to be late
for your first day of school.
126
00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:28,800
Ah, a new school year.
127
00:05:28,867 --> 00:05:31,405
Uncracked books, pink erasers,
128
00:05:31,471 --> 00:05:33,743
a binder where
the rings still meet.
129
00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,747
And I get
to find out what happened
130
00:05:35,814 --> 00:05:38,853
to those praying mantis eggs
I left in Skinner's office.
131
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:43,162
If, uh, we all agree to respect
each other's workspace,
132
00:05:43,229 --> 00:05:45,166
this, uh, year will go
just fine.
133
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:46,903
(hissing)
134
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:52,280
Oh, look at that belly. Mwah.
135
00:05:52,347 --> 00:05:55,386
(singsongy):
Someone's getting chunky!
136
00:05:55,453 --> 00:05:57,390
(in slow motion):
Chunky.
137
00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:00,029
(distorted growling)
138
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:02,968
♪ ♪
139
00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:04,872
(humming)
140
00:06:07,544 --> 00:06:11,218
(screaming)
141
00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:13,222
Off you go.
142
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,560
Don't want to be late
for school.
143
00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:18,032
Oh.
144
00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,945
LISA: Okay,
forget about what Mom said.
145
00:06:25,012 --> 00:06:26,481
Don't let it ruin
the first day of school.
146
00:06:26,549 --> 00:06:27,985
That's the best day of the year!
147
00:06:28,052 --> 00:06:29,889
Welcome, class.
148
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:32,594
This year, we'll be learning
lessons that will stay with you
149
00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,965
for the rest of your lives.
150
00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:36,335
(shrieks)
151
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:38,105
(Lisa sighs)
152
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:40,443
(breathing deeply)
153
00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,681
Calm down. It's okay.
154
00:06:42,748 --> 00:06:44,351
SKINNER:
Attention, students.
155
00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:46,088
Due to budget cuts,
the following
156
00:06:46,154 --> 00:06:49,595
after‐school programs have
been cancelled: dance chunk,
157
00:06:49,662 --> 00:06:52,533
intramural chunk‐ing,
and chunky chunk chunk.
158
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,504
LISA:
What is going on with me?
159
00:06:54,572 --> 00:06:57,544
I'm going chunky.
Aah! I mean, crazy!
160
00:06:57,611 --> 00:06:59,882
(whimpering quietly)
161
00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:02,353
Get a grip.
162
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:05,493
‐(rhythmic pulsating)
‐(gasping)
163
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,996
♪ Chunk‐chunky, chunk ♪
164
00:07:07,063 --> 00:07:09,000
♪ Chunk, chunk! ♪
165
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,071
Chunk‐chunk!
166
00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:12,407
Chunky!
167
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,409
(whimpers)
168
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,446
Lisa is soft now.
169
00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:17,283
(screaming)
170
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,622
‐(sleeves rip)
‐Hmm?
171
00:07:19,688 --> 00:07:21,692
Dang, Simpson.
172
00:07:21,759 --> 00:07:23,630
Have you been to Costco?
173
00:07:23,696 --> 00:07:25,767
'Cause you're carrying bulk.
174
00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:29,340
Oh, that's because
of the steroids I was taking.
175
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,378
‐You see, my mom...
‐Steroids!
176
00:07:31,445 --> 00:07:34,484
‐Nice!
‐Yeah, badass!
177
00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:36,622
Like I was saying,
178
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,626
I've been juicing pretty hard
all summer.
179
00:07:38,693 --> 00:07:41,298
Had to stop
because I beat up my dad.
180
00:07:41,364 --> 00:07:42,868
ALL:
Roid rage!
181
00:07:42,935 --> 00:07:46,776
No more hanging out with
those babies for you, Simpson.
182
00:07:46,843 --> 00:07:49,514
Today, you become a man.
183
00:07:49,582 --> 00:07:51,284
What is this place?
184
00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:55,392
It used to be a padded cell
for left‐handed kids.
185
00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:57,998
Welcome to the Meat Castle.
186
00:07:58,065 --> 00:08:00,069
♪ ♪
187
00:08:01,371 --> 00:08:03,308
Say goodbye to your victim bod.
188
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:06,749
Your shred‐ucation begins today.
189
00:08:06,816 --> 00:08:08,586
‐(heavy metal music plays)
‐Yeah. Swole!
190
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,055
‐So swole!
‐(others grunting)
191
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:14,965
‐(vocalizing)
‐Swole! Swole. Swole. Swole!
192
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:17,671
(all grunting)
193
00:08:17,738 --> 00:08:19,675
I'm living every kid's dream‐‐
194
00:08:19,742 --> 00:08:22,915
to be accepted
by his tormentors.
195
00:08:26,254 --> 00:08:29,394
MARGE (singsongy):
Someone's getting chunky!
196
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:31,031
(Lisa groans)
197
00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:36,943
Oh, honey,
you seem down in the dumps.
198
00:08:37,009 --> 00:08:38,512
And I know why.
199
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:40,650
You do? (sighs)
200
00:08:40,717 --> 00:08:43,021
Because it's really hard
to talk about when...
201
00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:46,328
Of course. I don't know
what I was thinking...
202
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:49,602
by not taking you shopping
for back‐to‐school clothes.
203
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:51,204
Wait, wha...?
204
00:08:52,473 --> 00:08:55,580
Oh. Nothing upside downs
my frowns
205
00:08:55,647 --> 00:08:57,584
like a girls' trip to the mall.
206
00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,454
I don't know, Mom.
207
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,224
I'm just not feeling it.
208
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,526
Mm.
209
00:09:02,594 --> 00:09:05,900
(gasps)
Can I get it? Can I get it?
210
00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:09,040
(squeals excitedly)
211
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:14,484
Hmm. I'm not sure that's a fit.
212
00:09:15,285 --> 00:09:18,158
Are you positive
that's the eight‐year‐old size?
213
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,962
Oh, super pos.
214
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:22,099
Let's upsize her to a ten short.
215
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:23,836
‐(static)
‐Get me some tens
out here, Derek.
216
00:09:23,903 --> 00:09:26,374
The eights are a freaking
disaster on this kid!
217
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,013
Forget it, Mom. Let's just go.
218
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,282
Nuh‐uh.
219
00:09:30,349 --> 00:09:31,719
We're not leaving this mall
220
00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:35,159
until we find you
a really fun ensemble.
221
00:09:35,225 --> 00:09:37,129
(Lisa groans)
222
00:09:37,196 --> 00:09:38,866
That is so the look.
223
00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:41,237
Yes, I think that is the look.
224
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:43,609
Mom, it's too big!
225
00:09:43,676 --> 00:09:45,179
No, it's not.
226
00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:47,851
It's very flattering.
227
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:56,201
It's not your job
228
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:59,708
to constantly comment
on my appearance!
229
00:09:59,775 --> 00:10:02,480
But, honey, I could never
pull that off.
230
00:10:02,547 --> 00:10:05,018
On you, it's so eye‐catching.
231
00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:07,591
Oh, you are slaying those tens.
232
00:10:07,657 --> 00:10:10,362
Do you really think I want
to call attention to myself?!
233
00:10:10,429 --> 00:10:12,366
Ugh! Get this thing off of me!
234
00:10:12,433 --> 00:10:13,903
(Lisa muttering)
235
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:16,942
Okay, why don't you give these
a try?
236
00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:18,813
LISA:
No!
237
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,884
(Lisa grunting)
238
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:24,223
Um, let's take
a little fro‐yo break.
239
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,962
You can't fix everything
with fro‐yo!
240
00:10:27,029 --> 00:10:30,469
(laughs)
That's what you acted like
before the medicine.
241
00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:33,943
Young lady, in this family, we
put clothing back on the hanger
242
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,381
so the salesperson will think
we're classy!
243
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:38,619
Why are you acting
like such a cranky pants?
244
00:10:38,686 --> 00:10:40,924
Stop talking
to me about clothes!
245
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:43,629
How's everything going in here?
I brought twelves.
246
00:10:43,696 --> 00:10:45,700
Do we need more twelves in here?
247
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:49,942
This mall is an assault
on human dignity!
248
00:10:50,008 --> 00:10:53,181
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
I hate it! I hate it!
249
00:10:53,248 --> 00:10:56,487
‐(shouting gibberish)
‐(Marge groaning)
250
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,995
If they ask
who helped you today,
251
00:11:00,062 --> 00:11:02,968
remember, I'm Shauna.
252
00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:05,607
They don't respect you
253
00:11:05,673 --> 00:11:08,445
unless you insult them
just a little bit.
254
00:11:08,511 --> 00:11:10,617
‐Girls?
‐Cops.
255
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:12,319
‐For real.
‐Yeah. Def. Yeah.
256
00:11:12,386 --> 00:11:16,027
Oh, look who got a visit
from the pube fairy.
257
00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:18,031
Dude, those aren't pubes.
258
00:11:18,098 --> 00:11:21,304
Yeah‐huh.
Everything new is a pube.
259
00:11:21,371 --> 00:11:24,510
So, Simpson, you got your eyes
on any ladies?
260
00:11:24,578 --> 00:11:27,717
Uh, yeah, I'm talking to
a couple dozen honeys right now.
261
00:11:27,784 --> 00:11:29,287
I'm in love with most of 'em,
262
00:11:29,353 --> 00:11:32,326
but right now, I want
to keep my focus on the gym.
263
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:35,399
‐(timer dings)
‐Pizza rolls are hot!
264
00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:37,102
Uh, what about our reps?
265
00:11:37,169 --> 00:11:38,806
There's plenty of time
for that...
266
00:11:38,873 --> 00:11:40,576
after a weight fight!
267
00:11:40,643 --> 00:11:43,048
(grunting, laughing)
268
00:11:44,483 --> 00:11:45,787
(grunting continues)
269
00:11:45,853 --> 00:11:48,525
Working out is awesome!
270
00:11:50,863 --> 00:11:54,972
We don't slam doors
in this house! (groans)
271
00:11:55,038 --> 00:11:57,242
(rhythmic grunting)
272
00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:58,813
(Homer whimpers)
273
00:11:58,879 --> 00:12:01,618
So, uh, how was the mall?
274
00:12:01,685 --> 00:12:05,960
Apparently, I'm the worst mother
in the world for being nice.
275
00:12:06,027 --> 00:12:09,868
Lisa had a huge tantrum in
front of the cell phone jewelry.
276
00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:12,339
I've asked her a hundred times
what the problem is,
277
00:12:12,406 --> 00:12:13,943
and she won't tell me.
278
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,713
Can you talk to her?
279
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:17,049
Of course, honey.
280
00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:20,389
Time for me to earn
my "World's Greatest Dad" mug.
281
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:23,128
You bought that for yourself
in the hospital gift shop
282
00:12:23,194 --> 00:12:24,831
while I was giving birth.
283
00:12:24,898 --> 00:12:28,538
We both left with something
special that day.
284
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:30,542
(Homer moans softly)
285
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:31,678
Honey,
286
00:12:31,745 --> 00:12:32,881
if something's bothering you,
287
00:12:32,947 --> 00:12:33,883
you got to let it out.
288
00:12:33,949 --> 00:12:35,553
Like swallowed burps,
289
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:38,525
buried feelings can burst out
at the worst possible...
290
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,995
(burps)
291
00:12:40,062 --> 00:12:41,999
Mom called me "chunky."
292
00:12:43,569 --> 00:12:45,305
HOMER:
Oh, my God.
293
00:12:45,372 --> 00:12:48,846
Marge did the one thing no
parent is ever supposed to do‐‐
294
00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:51,284
acknowledge what their children look like!
295
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,488
Oh, what do I say
to make it better?
296
00:12:53,556 --> 00:12:56,227
I know. I'll tell her
Marge isn't her real mother,
297
00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,398
and Lisa and I should pack up
and leave forever.
298
00:12:58,465 --> 00:13:01,237
No, something
about that feels wrong.
299
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:04,176
Hmm, I must use
an entire lifetime
300
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,882
of fatherly knowledge
to help my daughter.
301
00:13:06,949 --> 00:13:08,853
(clears throat)
302
00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:12,192
Buying versus leasing‐‐
pros and cons.
303
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:15,031
How many miles do you think
you'll be driving a year?
304
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,400
Thanks for trying, Dad.
305
00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:18,739
That is what
you were doing, right?
306
00:13:18,806 --> 00:13:20,108
Yes.
307
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,379
I can't expect you
to understand my problem.
308
00:13:22,446 --> 00:13:26,420
I just wish I didn't care
what people think.
309
00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:29,260
Honey, if you didn't care,
you wouldn't be human.
310
00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:33,702
(gasps)
Not human, I say.
311
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,505
Here we are.
312
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:38,211
When you called for help,
I was hoping you needed someone
313
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:40,883
to spell‐check
your suicide note.
314
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,121
And just so we're clear,
you dented cue ball,
315
00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:44,925
we're not doing this for you.
316
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,162
We're here for Lisa.
317
00:13:47,229 --> 00:13:50,168
Hey, look who stopped by!
318
00:13:50,235 --> 00:13:53,776
How would you like to go on
a completely spontaneous outing
319
00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:55,412
with your aunts?
320
00:13:55,478 --> 00:13:58,852
‐Uh...
‐In our world, that's a "yes."
321
00:13:58,919 --> 00:14:01,390
We heard what your mother said.
Not cool.
322
00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:05,365
We only use "chunky"
to describe jewelry and stew.
323
00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:09,340
And since we've had stew
for breakfast...
324
00:14:09,406 --> 00:14:10,610
(gasps)
325
00:14:10,676 --> 00:14:13,882
Kid, your Aunt Selma and I have
been called every mean name
326
00:14:13,949 --> 00:14:15,285
in the book.
327
00:14:15,352 --> 00:14:18,324
You just got
to let it roll off your back.
328
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,761
But how?
329
00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:21,632
♪ When the world ♪
330
00:14:21,698 --> 00:14:24,571
♪ Hurts your feelings ♪
331
00:14:24,638 --> 00:14:29,346
♪ And on certain words
you tend to dwell ♪
332
00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:34,323
♪ Then live life
like your aunties ♪
333
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:37,697
♪ And tell the jerks
to go to hell ♪
334
00:14:37,764 --> 00:14:42,306
♪ This is the dawning of
the age of who gives a crap ♪
335
00:14:42,372 --> 00:14:45,412
♪ The age of who gives a crap ♪
336
00:14:45,478 --> 00:14:47,082
(all groaning)
337
00:14:47,149 --> 00:14:51,958
‐♪ Who gives a crap ♪
‐(neighs)
338
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:56,534
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
339
00:14:56,601 --> 00:14:59,340
♪ Muffin tops,
jowls and crow's feet ♪
340
00:14:59,406 --> 00:15:02,045
♪ Droopy boobs
and no thigh gap ♪
341
00:15:02,112 --> 00:15:04,016
♪ Chicken skin and body odor ♪
342
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:06,420
♪ Chin hairs
that need some trimmin' ♪
343
00:15:06,487 --> 00:15:08,559
♪ All these things
that's wrong with women ♪
344
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,898
♪ It's all good,
just go on livin' ♪
345
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:16,775
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
346
00:15:16,842 --> 00:15:21,752
♪ Who gives a crap? ♪
347
00:15:21,818 --> 00:15:24,022
(people groaning)
348
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,193
(humming "Let the Sunshine In")
349
00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:32,239
Lisa, your dad told me
why you've been upset.
350
00:15:32,305 --> 00:15:35,378
I'm so sorry for what I said.
351
00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:38,852
It was a mistake,
and I feel terrible.
352
00:15:38,919 --> 00:15:40,656
Thanks, Mom,
but spending the afternoon
353
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:43,595
with Aunt Patty and Selma
made me feel a lot better
354
00:15:43,662 --> 00:15:45,098
about myself.
355
00:15:45,165 --> 00:15:48,070
And also, a lot worse
about everyone else.
356
00:15:48,137 --> 00:15:51,177
Mm. Why couldn't I just
keep my mouth shut?
357
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:54,116
After all, now
that you're off the steroids,
358
00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:56,187
soon you'll be back to normal.
359
00:15:56,253 --> 00:15:58,959
And you'll be my perfect
little girl again.
360
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,297
So, we all better now?
361
00:16:08,979 --> 00:16:12,620
(screaming)
362
00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:18,932
Ooh, how about this one?
363
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,603
It has a lot of notes.
364
00:16:20,669 --> 00:16:22,172
I know you like those.
365
00:16:22,239 --> 00:16:24,276
Don't pretend
you know what I like.
366
00:16:24,343 --> 00:16:27,617
Oh, can you just tell me
why we're back to glowering?!
367
00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:29,520
‐Huh?
‐Marge,
368
00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:32,459
I know all about the rough patch
you're having with Lisa.
369
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:35,799
I went through the exact same
thing with Milhouse. (laughs)
370
00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:37,770
We're so similar, you and I.
371
00:16:37,837 --> 00:16:39,106
Are we, though?
372
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:42,012
Look, I don't just give
this name to everybody.
373
00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:44,984
Just my best girlfriends.
374
00:16:45,051 --> 00:16:46,621
MARGE:
Hmm.
375
00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:48,124
Hypnotherapy?
376
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:50,663
Isn't that a little... woo‐woo?
377
00:16:50,729 --> 00:16:52,633
Dr. Sage is amazing.
378
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,973
We went in not speaking,
and after one session,
379
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,046
‐we're back in the tub together!
‐Mm.
380
00:16:59,112 --> 00:17:01,283
‐(Lisa blowing notes)
‐(gasps)
381
00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:04,657
(sighs):
Oh.
382
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:07,262
What's up, workout bros?
383
00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:10,903
Who wants toaster strudel?
Extra glaze packets!
384
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:13,174
‐Hmm?
‐(giggling)
385
00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:16,581
(gasps)
Guys, look out!
There's girls in here.
386
00:17:16,648 --> 00:17:19,219
They're called girlfriends,
baby dork.
387
00:17:19,286 --> 00:17:21,891
Well, Jimbo and Flor
haven't made it official,
388
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,762
but we're all hopeful.
389
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:25,264
BOTH:
We don't do labels!
390
00:17:25,331 --> 00:17:27,335
But‐but I thought
we came here to work out
391
00:17:27,402 --> 00:17:30,241
and‐and microwave golf balls
and talk about girls,
392
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:31,578
but not real ones!
393
00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:35,151
(crying)
I thought we were big boys!
394
00:17:35,218 --> 00:17:37,857
(all moaning, laughing)
395
00:17:40,495 --> 00:17:42,800
♪ ♪
396
00:17:45,639 --> 00:17:48,945
BART:
So dawn bros down to day.
397
00:17:49,012 --> 00:17:52,419
Nothing swole can stay.
398
00:18:00,301 --> 00:18:03,842
Marge, Lisa, today,
we'll be using hypnotherapy
399
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:05,746
as a tool that builds empathy
400
00:18:05,813 --> 00:18:09,721
by exploring the landscapes
of each other's minds.
401
00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:12,358
I'm sorry. I just find it
a little hard to believe
402
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,496
that everything's going
to be solved just because
403
00:18:14,564 --> 00:18:17,335
you swing a gold pocket watch
in front of my face.
404
00:18:17,402 --> 00:18:20,041
(laughs) Oh, hypnotism
has come a long way
405
00:18:20,108 --> 00:18:21,578
since pocket watches.
406
00:18:21,644 --> 00:18:25,919
Now, look into Dr. Mysterio's
Mesmerific Hypnowheel.
407
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,961
♪ ♪
408
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:32,700
BOTH:
Spinny thing.
409
00:18:35,271 --> 00:18:37,008
Where are we?
410
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,779
We're in my mind,
411
00:18:38,845 --> 00:18:42,418
and I thought this woman was
a total quack. (laughs)
412
00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,857
DR. SAGE:
I can hear everything
you're saying.
413
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,160
Sorry.
414
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,830
It's so nice here.
415
00:18:47,897 --> 00:18:50,468
I feel like
I should take my shoes off.
416
00:18:50,535 --> 00:18:54,009
There's a Zen garden,
a waterfall.
417
00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:55,612
(screams)
418
00:18:55,679 --> 00:18:57,015
Chunky!
419
00:18:57,081 --> 00:18:59,587
And it's taking up
so much space!
420
00:18:59,654 --> 00:19:02,560
Look what it's done
to the Powerpuff Girls.
421
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,597
(whimpering)
422
00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:07,268
What if I never get "Chunky"
out of my head?
423
00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:09,841
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
424
00:19:09,907 --> 00:19:13,047
If I put it there,
then I'm going to get it out.
425
00:19:13,113 --> 00:19:16,353
(grunting)
426
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:18,792
(moans)
Oh.
427
00:19:18,859 --> 00:19:22,766
I never realized
how much power my words have.
428
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:25,706
Now that you've explored
Lisa's subconscious,
429
00:19:25,772 --> 00:19:28,778
perhaps we should travel
to Marge's.
430
00:19:28,845 --> 00:19:30,883
I have one of those?
431
00:19:30,949 --> 00:19:32,887
My old bedroom.
432
00:19:32,953 --> 00:19:35,391
This must be one of my memories.
433
00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:39,165
Mom, what do you think
of my new haircut?
434
00:19:39,232 --> 00:19:40,736
It's nice, but I do think
435
00:19:40,802 --> 00:19:44,577
longer hair complements
your plain features.
436
00:19:47,282 --> 00:19:49,720
"Plain." Oh, my God.
437
00:19:49,787 --> 00:19:53,327
I don't remember her saying
that, but now I know why
438
00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:56,333
it's been in my head
every waking minute.
439
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,903
(cries, sniffles)
440
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:04,684
Oh, Lisa, now I know
exactly how I made you feel.
441
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:07,890
Now I know exactly how you felt.
442
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,994
BOTH:
I love you!
443
00:20:14,402 --> 00:20:17,108
I love both of you!
444
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,545
I guess the hurtful things
445
00:20:18,611 --> 00:20:21,918
your mother says to you
never totally disappear.
446
00:20:21,985 --> 00:20:24,657
Maybe they don't,
but I really believe
447
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,594
that if you're aware of them,
448
00:20:26,661 --> 00:20:30,167
those words will lose
their power over you...
449
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:35,411
very, very, very slowly.
450
00:20:35,478 --> 00:20:36,914
If at all.
451
00:20:36,981 --> 00:20:39,119
But probably not.
452
00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:52,679
I wonder if everyone has words
453
00:20:52,746 --> 00:20:54,984
from their childhood stuck
inside their heads.
454
00:21:09,479 --> 00:21:12,853
(snoring)
Ah, lazy.
455
00:21:29,987 --> 00:21:31,624
Shh!