1
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,326
(woman yodeling)
2
00:00:08,393 --> 00:00:10,430
♪ ♪
3
00:00:15,741 --> 00:00:16,810
(yodeling stops)
4
00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:19,181
♪ ♪
5
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,561
(crickets chirping)
6
00:00:25,661 --> 00:00:27,665
♪ ♪
7
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,597
(puppies yipping)
8
00:00:43,697 --> 00:00:46,435
Congratulations, sir‐‐
it's eight puppies.
9
00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:48,506
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,
10
00:00:48,574 --> 00:00:51,045
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.
11
00:00:51,145 --> 00:00:53,182
Excellent,
eight purebred puppies
12
00:00:53,249 --> 00:00:54,552
descended from the
first litter
13
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:57,391
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann
himself.
14
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,395
Smithers, you're in charge
of their training.
15
00:00:59,495 --> 00:01:01,700
Teach them all
the classic commands.
16
00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:03,403
Sit, stay...
17
00:01:03,503 --> 00:01:06,743
and bite striking workers
with your "wittle teefers."
18
00:01:06,877 --> 00:01:07,979
Yes, Mr. Burns.
19
00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:10,116
And you've allowed
the training dummies
20
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,120
to fall into terrible disrepair.
21
00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:13,857
So I've ordered a new one.
22
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:15,460
Here he is now.
23
00:01:15,527 --> 00:01:17,565
Um, I was told
there'd be a taco truck?
24
00:01:17,665 --> 00:01:20,170
Don't worry, their adult teeth
haven't come in yet.
25
00:01:20,236 --> 00:01:22,575
Just look out for
their much sharper baby teeth.
26
00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:24,846
‐(puppies snarling)
‐(Homer shouting)
27
00:01:25,848 --> 00:01:28,754
‐(whimpers)
‐Hmm. Hmm.
28
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,359
(snarls)
29
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,198
Ah, I guess
"Executive Kennel Supervisor"
30
00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:36,302
is all I'll ever be
to Mr. Burns.
31
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:38,306
Nothing‐‐ ow‐‐ worse‐‐ ow‐‐
32
00:01:38,373 --> 00:01:40,410
than not being respected‐‐
ow‐‐
33
00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:41,847
at work! Ow!
34
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,151
♪ ♪
35
00:01:44,218 --> 00:01:46,723
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow. (moans)
36
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,796
Ow. Ow. Ow.
37
00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:52,434
‐Ow.
‐Aw!
38
00:01:53,236 --> 00:01:55,775
‐(snarling)
‐(grunting)
39
00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:57,845
(snarling)
40
00:01:57,912 --> 00:02:00,083
Ah, the puppies are finally
41
00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:01,553
murderous enough
to be doled out
42
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:04,525
to my rich and powerful allies
who need watchdogs.
43
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,697
Now to look through the pile
of bribes
44
00:02:06,763 --> 00:02:09,836
and see who's begging
hard enough to earn a puppy.
45
00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:13,977
Warren Buffett sent this box
of broken wooden pieces.
46
00:02:14,044 --> 00:02:15,313
Sir, that's a puzzle.
47
00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:16,616
(chuckles)
It certainly is a puzzle.
48
00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:19,488
What's his game,
sending me these misshapen bits?
49
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,829
Uh, well, it's an activity
people do for fun.
50
00:02:22,895 --> 00:02:25,166
With their friends.
Perhaps you and I could‐‐
51
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,204
Perhaps you could
stop assuming familiarity
52
00:02:27,270 --> 00:02:28,373
with your betters.
53
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,176
Now de‐gunk the puppies' eyes!
54
00:02:30,243 --> 00:02:31,947
(Smithers groans sadly)
55
00:02:35,019 --> 00:02:37,190
(whimpering nearby)
56
00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:42,434
Oh, if only I'd been born
in a litter of puppies,
57
00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:44,538
then maybe someone
would love me.
58
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,810
(clears his throat)
Simpson!
59
00:02:47,177 --> 00:02:48,714
(sniffles)
60
00:02:48,814 --> 00:02:51,452
Come on, Mr. Smithers,
you don't have to be lonely.
61
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,423
You've totally got it going on.
62
00:02:53,489 --> 00:02:56,095
You've got that bow tie
and those glasses
63
00:02:56,195 --> 00:02:59,034
and that hunky nasal voice.
64
00:02:59,101 --> 00:03:01,573
Oh, sadly, the Springfield
dating pool is
65
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,309
pretty bleak.
66
00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:05,313
It's always guys
who don't want to commit,
67
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:08,152
or straight guys
who are going through a phase.
68
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:10,023
Disco Stu is
69
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,360
hetero‐flexible. Ooh!
70
00:03:12,461 --> 00:03:15,233
(sighs) I just want someone
to be there when I get home.
71
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:18,072
Someone who loves me
unconditionally.
72
00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:20,043
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
73
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,147
It's the conditions
that'll kill ya.
74
00:03:22,214 --> 00:03:24,719
Mr. Smithers, I'm gonna
find you a man‐Marge.
75
00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:27,023
Look at this guy‐‐
he seems perfect!
76
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,727
That's me.
77
00:03:28,827 --> 00:03:30,263
Oh, yeah.
78
00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:32,602
Well, it is
a much younger picture.
79
00:03:33,637 --> 00:03:35,741
Goodbye. Thank you for the oil.
80
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:36,977
I love it.
81
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:38,279
Excellent.
82
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:40,250
Well, that's the last
of the litter.
83
00:03:40,316 --> 00:03:43,156
Oh, except for you.
84
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,293
You're no killer,
with those soft eyes
85
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,963
and kind disposition.
86
00:03:47,063 --> 00:03:49,702
You've brought shame to
the very notion of inbreeding.
87
00:03:49,769 --> 00:03:51,138
Go on, bite him.
88
00:03:51,238 --> 00:03:53,442
Bite his doughy face.
89
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:56,215
(groans)
90
00:03:56,315 --> 00:03:58,386
Who's gonna take you home?
91
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:00,356
I hope they find you a dictator
92
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,993
who's as sweet as you are.
93
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,396
Or...
94
00:04:03,496 --> 00:04:05,233
how about a Fortune 500
fashion designer
95
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,640
who's already made a matching
suit for the puppy?
96
00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:11,546
Good muscle tone, needy,
with a slight drooling problem.
97
00:04:11,613 --> 00:04:14,251
Reminds me of my last boyfriend.
98
00:04:14,318 --> 00:04:18,426
HOMER:
His last girlfriend was a boy?
99
00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:21,867
Your last girlfriend was a boy?
100
00:04:22,869 --> 00:04:26,008
(speaking in Mandarin)
101
00:04:26,075 --> 00:04:27,010
(knocking)
102
00:04:27,077 --> 00:04:28,614
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...
103
00:04:28,714 --> 00:04:30,784
Negotiating the sale
of excess Kilowatt hours
104
00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:32,254
to a Chinese server farm.
105
00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:34,124
And you got a very good deal.
106
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,059
Mm.
107
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,228
I also speak Mandarin.
108
00:04:36,295 --> 00:04:37,464
I'm Michael de Graaf,
109
00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:40,403
and I flew here from my villa
in Milan to claim this puppy.
110
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:43,442
I can offer Burns a priceless
Impressionist painting.
111
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:46,616
Mr. Burns' collection
could use a Manet...
112
00:04:46,716 --> 00:04:50,323
Well, I've got a Monet and a guy
who can change O's to A's.
113
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,695
Mm, Mr. Burns would never know
the difference.
114
00:04:52,762 --> 00:04:55,668
He hates art‐‐ he just wants
to keep it out of museums.
115
00:04:55,734 --> 00:04:57,638
But first I told him
you have some questions
116
00:04:57,705 --> 00:05:00,945
about what the puppy's
looking for in a companion.
117
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,784
Well, uh, this is
an unusual Dobermann.
118
00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:06,823
Uh, are you prepared
for a dog that's sweet,
119
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,328
maybe a little shy,
but just wants to give his heart
120
00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:11,131
to someone who loves him?
121
00:05:11,198 --> 00:05:13,302
He sounds
like a dream come true.
122
00:05:13,369 --> 00:05:15,506
Okay, the puppy's yours,
Mr. de Graaf.
123
00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,377
Please, it's Michael.
124
00:05:17,444 --> 00:05:19,214
This calls for a celebration.
125
00:05:19,314 --> 00:05:20,985
Are you free for dinner tonight?
126
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:22,087
I'm sorry?
127
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:23,757
You're talented,
smart as a whip,
128
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,063
and hot in a 1960s
Cape Canaveral kind of way.
129
00:05:27,163 --> 00:05:29,201
I'd love to take you on a date.
130
00:05:29,301 --> 00:05:31,205
Well, I'd love...
131
00:05:31,305 --> 00:05:33,844
to say yes!
132
00:05:35,346 --> 00:05:36,550
♪ ♪
133
00:05:36,616 --> 00:05:39,421
I love this place!
It's so old school.
134
00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:42,227
It reminds me of my childhood‐‐
laminated menus,
135
00:05:42,327 --> 00:05:45,533
fossilized Parmesan,
problematic murals.
136
00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:48,105
‐(Michael chuckles)
‐Welcome‐a to Luigi's.
137
00:05:48,205 --> 00:05:50,276
Italiana food for everybody.
138
00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:53,617
I put a‐salt and a‐pepper
on the table,
139
00:05:53,717 --> 00:05:55,821
but for you,
such a handsome couple,
140
00:05:55,921 --> 00:05:58,694
if you want‐a pepper
and‐a pepper,
141
00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:01,165
hey, that's a‐wonderful, too!
142
00:06:01,231 --> 00:06:04,404
(both laugh)
143
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,308
Vintage vinyl.
144
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:08,279
Add some spikes to it,
and you've got half
145
00:06:08,346 --> 00:06:10,083
of Vivienne Westwood's career.
146
00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:11,485
(laughs)
147
00:06:11,553 --> 00:06:12,622
Okay, that was a fake laugh.
148
00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:15,526
I was afraid to admit I don't
know anything about fashion.
149
00:06:15,628 --> 00:06:17,965
Oh, that's so refreshing.
150
00:06:18,065 --> 00:06:20,771
People usually want
to date me to get into GQ,
151
00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:23,844
meet Anna Wintour, or co‐parent
Anderson Cooper's baby.
152
00:06:23,944 --> 00:06:26,282
I guess that was
just Anderson Cooper.
153
00:06:26,348 --> 00:06:30,591
Waylon, you are like
no one I've ever met.
154
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,730
(muttering in Italian)
155
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,537
Mamma, no!
God‐a loves everybody!
156
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:39,909
(shouting in Italian)
157
00:06:40,978 --> 00:06:43,817
But what about Uncle Benito
and the roommate
158
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:46,255
he always‐a brings
to Easter supper?
159
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,858
(spits)
160
00:06:47,925 --> 00:06:51,031
Mamma, no! Do not put
a hex on their ziti!
161
00:06:51,131 --> 00:06:53,436
(both laughing)
162
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:56,208
♪ ♪
163
00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:00,718
People like me should spend
more time in flyover country,
164
00:07:00,818 --> 00:07:02,822
see what America's really like.
165
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,594
More like fly‐around country.
Planes won't go near us
166
00:07:05,694 --> 00:07:08,567
because of all the teens
with laser pointers.
167
00:07:11,238 --> 00:07:13,710
(sighs) It's a shame
you have to leave tomorrow.
168
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,313
Oh, I'm canceling my flight.
169
00:07:15,413 --> 00:07:16,549
Why?
170
00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:17,718
Because it would be much harder
171
00:07:17,818 --> 00:07:20,924
to fall in love with you
from Milan.
172
00:07:23,195 --> 00:07:25,066
(shivering)
173
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,736
Homer, what happened?
174
00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:28,674
I can feel it‐‐
my fix‐up is working.
175
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,278
I changed the destiny
of two human beings.
176
00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:34,017
I am a gay matchmaking God!
177
00:07:34,117 --> 00:07:36,756
What about some straight
matchmaking for us?
178
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:39,829
(scoffs)
I'm a God, not a miracle worker.
179
00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:47,545
And he posted you
on his Instagram?
180
00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:50,350
Cute caption? Gay couple emoji?
(gasps)
181
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,588
(singsongy):
I'm excited!
182
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:53,957
What was that?
183
00:07:54,091 --> 00:07:55,460
Oh, just guy stuff.
184
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,598
Smithers was updating me
on his boyfriend.
185
00:07:57,665 --> 00:07:59,635
‐Boyfriend?
‐Yeah, no big deal.
186
00:07:59,769 --> 00:08:02,340
I kind of fixed Smithers up
with a dude I know.
187
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,044
Now they're going steady.
No big deal.
188
00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:06,248
Wait, wait,
I just have one question.
189
00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,252
Can I ask you
a thousand questions?
190
00:08:08,352 --> 00:08:10,724
Sorry, Marge, late for work.
191
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,563
(birds chirping)
192
00:08:13,663 --> 00:08:15,701
‐Tell me everything!
‐(shrieks)
193
00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:18,239
Um, they've been dating
for six weeks or so.
194
00:08:18,305 --> 00:08:19,408
You probably
don't even know him.
195
00:08:19,508 --> 00:08:20,711
He's some fashion designer guy.
196
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,080
Michael de Graaf.
197
00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:23,215
What?
198
00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:25,821
Smithers is dating
Michael de Graaf,
199
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:29,662
the judge on seasons ten through
15 of America's Got Fabric?
200
00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:32,534
He has my favorite catchphrase!
201
00:08:32,635 --> 00:08:34,972
Now, that is avant‐gorgeous.
202
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:37,277
Oh, my God, honey,
you got catchphrased.
203
00:08:37,343 --> 00:08:40,651
And he's even more famous
for his savage zings.
204
00:08:40,784 --> 00:08:42,922
I don't know.
It's a little Sex and the City.
205
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:46,462
If there were no sex
and the city was Milwaukee.
206
00:08:46,528 --> 00:08:47,665
(chuckles)
207
00:08:47,731 --> 00:08:50,804
They dress so bad in Milwaukee.
208
00:08:50,904 --> 00:08:51,873
I assume.
209
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:52,975
Hmm?
210
00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,012
(groans)
211
00:08:55,814 --> 00:08:58,085
I have to meet Michael de Graaf!
212
00:08:58,219 --> 00:09:00,891
Okay, okay. When they come back
from their trip.
213
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,563
Ooh, whisked off
by a billionaire.
214
00:09:03,663 --> 00:09:06,168
How romantic. Where did they go?
215
00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:08,740
Well, Smithers says they're
too young for Provincetown,
216
00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:10,711
too monogamous for Fire Island
217
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:13,449
and you know
how Waylon gets in Palm Springs.
218
00:09:13,516 --> 00:09:14,685
No, I don't!
219
00:09:14,752 --> 00:09:17,190
I don't know anything!
220
00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,369
Yeah, it's pretty sweet
221
00:09:23,435 --> 00:09:26,275
to completely alter
the course of people's lives.
222
00:09:26,308 --> 00:09:28,212
If it goes great, I'm a genius.
223
00:09:28,279 --> 00:09:29,414
If it goes south,
224
00:09:29,514 --> 00:09:31,753
I just turn off my phone.
225
00:09:31,853 --> 00:09:35,092
Ah, a beautiful resort,
226
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:36,495
a turquoise ocean.
227
00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:38,365
The only thing missing
is Christine Baranski
228
00:09:38,466 --> 00:09:39,836
singing "Dancing Queen."
229
00:09:39,936 --> 00:09:42,273
I thought you might say that.
230
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,478
("Dancing Queen" playing)
231
00:09:44,579 --> 00:09:47,785
♪ Friday night
and the lights are low ♪
232
00:09:47,852 --> 00:09:51,659
♪ Looking out
for a place to go ♪
233
00:09:51,726 --> 00:09:53,864
Oh, my God!
How much did that cost?
234
00:09:53,997 --> 00:09:55,266
Less than you might think.
235
00:09:55,299 --> 00:09:57,470
‐Oh, and I got you
something else.
‐Oh.
236
00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:58,974
I call it the Waylon.
237
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,411
Like you,
it's sophisticated yet playful,
238
00:10:01,478 --> 00:10:03,550
as blue and sparkling
as your eyes.
239
00:10:03,617 --> 00:10:05,086
Okay, I've got to go.
240
00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:08,593
I'm helping a 13‐year‐old boy
come out to his parents.
241
00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:10,998
To Jacksonville!
242
00:10:11,064 --> 00:10:16,241
♪ Digging
the dancing queen...! ♪
243
00:10:16,341 --> 00:10:18,179
(song ends)
244
00:10:18,245 --> 00:10:19,582
(bird caws)
245
00:10:19,649 --> 00:10:21,886
(panting)
Sorry I'm late, sir.
246
00:10:21,986 --> 00:10:24,291
A‐And sorry I wasn't available
this weekend.
247
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,961
Or last weekend. I was...
248
00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:27,397
You were gone?
(chuckles)
249
00:10:27,463 --> 00:10:29,201
Who cares? I figured it out.
250
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:31,171
These pieces are designed
to interlock.
251
00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:33,108
But to what purpose?
252
00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:34,477
Sir, it is a puzzle.
253
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:35,781
Not for long, man.
254
00:10:35,881 --> 00:10:37,785
Monty Burns is on the case.
255
00:10:37,918 --> 00:10:42,393
The obvious first step is
to sort every piece by weight.
256
00:10:46,368 --> 00:10:47,337
‐Waylon!
‐(gasps)
257
00:10:47,437 --> 00:10:50,476
Marge? Why are you
in the executive parking lot?
258
00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:51,613
Who cares?
259
00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:53,984
Tell me
all about Michael de Graaf!
260
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:57,156
(chuckles)
Well, Michael's kind of perfect.
261
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,894
Attentive,
treats me like an equal,
262
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,831
has never trap‐doored
an entire Girl Scout troop
263
00:11:00,898 --> 00:11:02,200
because they were out
of Thin Mints.
264
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:05,106
I mean, it's nice to finally be
in love with someone...
265
00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:05,908
good.
266
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:07,745
I'm dying to meet him.
267
00:11:07,811 --> 00:11:10,651
What if we threw you two
a party?
268
00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:12,453
A party. That's what people do
269
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,559
when they finally have
something worth celebrating.
270
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,696
‐Let's do it!
‐Yes!
271
00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:19,534
This makes me part
of your couple origin story.
272
00:11:19,602 --> 00:11:20,536
I'm in!
273
00:11:20,604 --> 00:11:22,373
(low, upbeat music plays)
274
00:11:24,511 --> 00:11:26,415
Just what I always wanted
for him,
275
00:11:26,515 --> 00:11:28,553
a handsome
billionaire boyfriend.
276
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:29,956
So happy.
277
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:30,924
(grunts)
278
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,561
Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf,
279
00:11:32,695 --> 00:11:35,132
we love your wicked zingers
on the show.
280
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:36,201
Could you?
281
00:11:36,268 --> 00:11:37,136
My pleasure.
282
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:39,174
Wow, it was so kind
of Estelle Getty
283
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,046
to donate her wardrobe for
your production of The Crucible.
284
00:11:42,113 --> 00:11:43,015
(laughs)
285
00:11:43,082 --> 00:11:45,587
Hello and welcome
to Grey Gardens.
286
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:47,523
At least
those ladies had a look.
287
00:11:47,591 --> 00:11:49,461
You have a "don't look."
288
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:51,265
(laughing)
289
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:52,467
Do you like my top?
290
00:11:52,568 --> 00:11:53,737
Yes, I love the shoulder pads.
291
00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:56,876
Is something I would have said
in the '90s but not about that.
292
00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,512
Do you like my top?
293
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,951
Yes. He seems very nice.
294
00:12:01,753 --> 00:12:03,990
Is it wrong
to enjoy being envied?
295
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,228
Because I am savoring it.
296
00:12:06,295 --> 00:12:08,767
When did you first realize
that Homer was the one,
297
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,771
the great love of your life?
298
00:12:10,871 --> 00:12:13,075
Well, after he got me pregnant,
299
00:12:13,142 --> 00:12:16,348
I just knew he was someone
I was gonna have kids with.
300
00:12:16,448 --> 00:12:17,985
Aw. Mwah.
301
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,557
Young lady, I like
your quirky fashion sense.
302
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:22,928
That zigzag dress hem
is everything.
303
00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:25,867
Thanks, but I don't
really pay attention to fashion.
304
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:28,773
It doesn't seem...
super important.
305
00:12:28,807 --> 00:12:31,311
I'd like to suggest
some alterations. May I?
306
00:12:31,378 --> 00:12:34,451
I mean, it's a waste
of your time, but fine.
307
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,488
Wearing the same thing
every day is a choice,
308
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,628
so I can free up my mind
to think about important things,
309
00:12:39,695 --> 00:12:41,699
rather than "Am I on trend?"
310
00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:43,803
Ha, whatever that means.
311
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,674
You know who didn't care
about fashion?
312
00:12:45,774 --> 00:12:47,110
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
313
00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:49,247
She slapped on a doily
and that was enough.
314
00:12:49,314 --> 00:12:52,487
This obsession with appearance
in our culture...
315
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:53,957
Did you make me taller?
316
00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:55,159
I feel so confident.
317
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:59,067
I don't even have a job, but
I'm going to ask for a raise.
318
00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:00,136
(grunts)
319
00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:03,308
A toast to our hosts.
320
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,845
And to Marge's hair,
321
00:13:04,912 --> 00:13:07,250
which is avant‐gorgeous.
322
00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:08,687
(chuckles):
Oh!
323
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,289
And I want you to be
the first to hear‐‐
324
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,795
I've decided to manufacture
my new retail line
325
00:13:12,861 --> 00:13:14,230
right here in Springfield,
326
00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:17,638
in the factory that used
to make fidget spinners.
327
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,240
Spin‐ners!
328
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,813
And if anyone needs a job,
there are applications
329
00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:25,519
right next to the best coleslaw
I've ever had.
330
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,156
MARGE:
Ooh‐hoo!
331
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,660
(cheering)
332
00:13:28,727 --> 00:13:29,695
(grumbles)
333
00:13:29,795 --> 00:13:31,899
Mamma, everyone is‐a happy.
334
00:13:31,966 --> 00:13:35,172
Why are you so against
this‐a love? Why?
335
00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:36,676
I hate...
336
00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:39,314
because I hate‐a myself!
337
00:13:39,414 --> 00:13:41,986
I... I love‐a the women.
338
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:44,391
No, Mamma, you are beautiful.
339
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,230
You love‐a the women,
and I love‐a the you.
340
00:13:47,296 --> 00:13:49,200
(both crying)
341
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:53,610
I had a pillow
of‐a Gina Lollobrigida
342
00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:54,979
that I used to, oh...
343
00:13:55,079 --> 00:13:57,150
(speaking Italian)
344
00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:00,056
Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma!
345
00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:03,730
(gasps) Look,
it's Michael's new factory!
346
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,366
So modern.
347
00:14:05,466 --> 00:14:06,468
Can we look inside?
348
00:14:06,535 --> 00:14:08,539
Yeah, do you know anybody
that works there?
349
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,244
Ha, well, they hired
most of the desperate saps
350
00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:12,714
who've been unemployed forever.
351
00:14:12,848 --> 00:14:14,184
So, yeah,
I'm friends with all of 'em.
352
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,457
This week's trend
is glitter on sunglasses.
353
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,327
So we got right on it.
354
00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:27,778
(coughs)
355
00:14:27,878 --> 00:14:30,182
What happens
to all the toxic stuff?
356
00:14:30,249 --> 00:14:32,554
It gets off‐glittered
through the chimney.
357
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,925
(geese honking)
358
00:14:34,992 --> 00:14:38,365
(distressed honking)
359
00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:42,106
Hey, look at me,
I'm a working stiff!
360
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,745
Very stiff. These chemicals
are giving me a condition
361
00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:48,085
my doctor calls
"living rigor mortis."
362
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,055
(yells)
363
00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:54,297
No wonder fast fashion
is so inexpensive.
364
00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:56,602
This place is terrible
for the environment.
365
00:14:56,669 --> 00:14:58,405
And it's a sweatshop!
366
00:14:58,472 --> 00:15:01,546
No, sweetie,
it's a sweatpants shop.
367
00:15:01,612 --> 00:15:04,752
Which are made with Lycra,
which leaches into the sea.
368
00:15:04,819 --> 00:15:07,858
Our oceans
are now ten percent spandex.
369
00:15:07,925 --> 00:15:10,029
Well, then they'll fit the Earth
more snugly.
370
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:11,699
Dad, how can Michael allow this?
371
00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:14,605
I thought gay people were
supposed to be better than us.
372
00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:15,807
You mean our boss?
373
00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:16,876
He knows.
374
00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:19,147
♪ ♪
375
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:23,590
No. Michael's the perfect guy
for Smithers.
376
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,493
I picked him out!
377
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,163
I fixed them up!
378
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:31,104
My gay matchmaking reputation
is ruined!
379
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:33,710
The human suffering is bad, too.
380
00:15:39,087 --> 00:15:41,659
(sighs) How do I tell Smithers
that the love of his life
381
00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:43,195
is running a sweatshop?
382
00:15:43,262 --> 00:15:44,965
Hey, look,
you tried to play God,
383
00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,201
and now, like God,
384
00:15:46,334 --> 00:15:50,276
you get to stand back and laugh
at all the losers' suffering.
385
00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:51,913
Ha‐ha.
386
00:15:51,946 --> 00:15:53,415
Ah, losers.
387
00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:57,490
Oh, who knew gay relationships
could be complicated?
388
00:15:57,591 --> 00:16:00,262
(men moaning)
389
00:16:00,362 --> 00:16:02,568
Man, tough day on the line.
390
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:06,909
Another guy lost an arm
to the spaghetti strap slicer.
391
00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:09,113
Oh, I don't feel so good.
392
00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:12,621
I think I spent too much time
in the tie‐dye chamber.
393
00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:14,023
(coughs)
394
00:16:14,825 --> 00:16:15,927
You think that's bad?
395
00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:18,733
I got to go break a guy's heart.
396
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,006
There he is!
397
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,610
The man who showed me
that love is real
398
00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:26,248
and there is a man
at the end of the rainbow.
399
00:16:26,314 --> 00:16:30,022
Oof. Speaking of showing you
things you didn't know,
400
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,761
look what his factory's done
to Lake Springfield.
401
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:35,700
Wha...? (gasps)
402
00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:37,905
HOMER:
It's gone plaid.
403
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:40,142
(groans) M‐Michael
must have an explanation.
404
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:41,177
He‐He's a good man.
405
00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:42,681
Uh, I just need advice
406
00:16:42,748 --> 00:16:44,752
from someone who understands
the ethical challenges
407
00:16:44,852 --> 00:16:46,521
faced by business leaders.
408
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,995
Smithers,
I've made amazing progress.
409
00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:52,066
By giving this enigma
my undivided attention,
410
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,972
I've proven conclusively
these pieces form...
411
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:56,876
a secret image.
412
00:16:57,009 --> 00:16:58,312
I can't believe
I'm asking you this,
413
00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:01,418
but I‐I have a question about,
uh...
414
00:17:01,484 --> 00:17:02,486
my love life.
415
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,792
Indeed.
Tell me about the lucky lady.
416
00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:06,161
‐Man.
‐Oh. What's her...
417
00:17:06,261 --> 00:17:07,330
‐His.
‐...name?
418
00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:09,902
‐Michael.
‐Michelle. Such a lovely name.
419
00:17:09,969 --> 00:17:11,071
And, uh, what does she...
420
00:17:11,171 --> 00:17:12,239
‐He.
‐...do?
421
00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:13,442
Well, that's just it, sir.
422
00:17:13,508 --> 00:17:15,212
He's the CEO of a major company.
423
00:17:15,312 --> 00:17:17,183
He's wonderful to me,
but I‐I'm worried
424
00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:20,089
he might ruthlessly care
about nothing but profit.
425
00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:21,659
Ooh, don't tell me,
426
00:17:21,759 --> 00:17:22,961
is it Sheryl Sandberg?
427
00:17:23,028 --> 00:17:24,632
No, it's Michael de Graaf.
428
00:17:24,698 --> 00:17:26,902
Michael de Graaf?
Smithers, you fool.
429
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:28,405
Marry that man right now.
430
00:17:28,472 --> 00:17:31,779
‐What?
‐So you have to pretend
to be gay‐‐ who cares?
431
00:17:31,846 --> 00:17:33,215
He's a billionaire.
432
00:17:33,282 --> 00:17:35,252
Come, you must see.
433
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,758
SMITHERS:
A denim fire?
434
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:40,529
De Graaf's discovered
the secret.
435
00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:43,803
Fast fashion is far more toxic
than nuclear power.
436
00:17:43,903 --> 00:17:47,143
‐It's worse?
‐Nuclear energy gives people
warmth and light.
437
00:17:47,209 --> 00:17:49,982
This guy is profiting
off a product nobody needs:
438
00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:52,754
a constant stream
of brand‐new skinnied jeans
439
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,192
and be‐cropped tops.
440
00:17:56,394 --> 00:17:58,833
Look what they've done
to Blinky.
441
00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:03,843
Our toxins may have created
the three‐eyed fish,
442
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,512
but we never managed to kill it.
443
00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:07,751
You've got yourself
one hell of a guy.
444
00:18:07,818 --> 00:18:10,456
Don't let him slip away.
445
00:18:13,495 --> 00:18:15,567
(explosion)
446
00:18:16,769 --> 00:18:19,307
(gasps) I always thought
a Chernobyl in Springfield
447
00:18:19,374 --> 00:18:21,311
would be caused
by my horrible boss,
448
00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:23,549
not my perfect boyfriend.
449
00:18:25,553 --> 00:18:28,860
♪ ♪
450
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,420
Something's clogging the engine!
451
00:18:42,486 --> 00:18:44,792
My God, it's loungewear.
452
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:47,329
Loungewear!
453
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:52,674
Michael, your factory
is literally a toxic workplace.
454
00:18:52,741 --> 00:18:54,077
Don't worry, sweetie.
455
00:18:54,177 --> 00:18:56,414
I've got an amazing
crisis management company.
456
00:18:56,481 --> 00:18:58,285
They're the ones
who squelched the story
457
00:18:58,385 --> 00:19:01,391
that Peloton seats
are made from dolphin faces.
458
00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:05,532
‐(explosion)
‐(yells)
‐If I'm making clothes
459
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:07,604
for Tommy Target
and Wendy Walmart,
460
00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:08,873
they have to be cheap.
461
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,042
Because in fast fashion,
462
00:19:10,142 --> 00:19:12,279
whoever cuts
the most corners wins.
463
00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:15,887
(cries) I can't believe
I fell in love with a monster.
464
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:19,494
Really? It seems to me that you
have a pretty consistent type.
465
00:19:19,561 --> 00:19:20,462
Ah.
466
00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:22,968
‐(explosion)
‐Exquisite.
467
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,170
Is that acid?
468
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:25,974
No, molten sports bra.
469
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,478
Waylon, you deserve
Milan, Paris,
470
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:31,084
at the very least,
a town with a Chipotle.
471
00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,021
I love that you care
about what's right,
472
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:35,392
but, for once,
do what's right for you.
473
00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:38,131
Come away with me and be adored.
474
00:19:38,198 --> 00:19:41,438
(sighs)
Adored would be a nice change.
475
00:19:45,446 --> 00:19:47,984
To seeing the best in each other
476
00:19:48,085 --> 00:19:50,022
and ignoring everything else.
477
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,326
I'll drink to that.
478
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:53,930
‐(yaps)
‐Ooh! Idiot!
479
00:19:53,996 --> 00:19:57,737
These pants are made of cashmere
and shredded Picassos.
480
00:19:57,838 --> 00:19:59,474
(whimpers)
481
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,946
(whimpers)
482
00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:06,822
♪ ♪
483
00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:09,661
Buck up, pal.
484
00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:11,866
Beautiful jet‐setting
gay billionaires
485
00:20:11,932 --> 00:20:13,803
are a dime a dozen in this town.
486
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:16,241
(sighs) It's gonna take
some time to get over Michael.
487
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,946
But I did get one thing out
of the relationship.
488
00:20:19,748 --> 00:20:22,052
Someone to be there
when I come home,
489
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,725
who will love me
unconditionally.
490
00:20:24,825 --> 00:20:26,127
(chuckles softly)
491
00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:30,335
You're the one hound
I'll never release.
492
00:20:38,786 --> 00:20:41,124
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
493
00:20:41,224 --> 00:20:43,361
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
494
00:20:43,495 --> 00:20:45,967
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
495
00:20:50,643 --> 00:20:54,651
The last piece. You will reveal
your secrets to me.
496
00:20:54,751 --> 00:20:57,624
Good Lord! All this time,
it was a hot‐air balloon!
497
00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,661
Yes, sir, just like the picture
on the box.
498
00:20:59,761 --> 00:21:02,466
There was a picture? Well, that
could have saved me months!
499
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,504
Oh, well. Now I can get back
to crushing unions,
500
00:21:04,605 --> 00:21:06,642
fouling the air
and garbaging the Pacific.
501
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,445
(stammers)
Sir, before you do that,
502
00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:10,249
maybe you'd like to try
another puzzle?
503
00:21:10,315 --> 00:21:11,384
This one's a little harder.
504
00:21:11,484 --> 00:21:13,388
It's a hundred pieces, and, uh,
505
00:21:13,488 --> 00:21:15,325
two of the unicorns
look pretty similar.
506
00:21:15,392 --> 00:21:17,463
Clear my calendar!
Lock the door!
507
00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:19,133
Turn up the Wagner.
508
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:21,972
("Ride of the Valkyries"
playing)
509
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:25,479
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
510
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,459
Shh!