1
00:00:18,914 --> 00:00:20,651
Listen up, ya pukes.
2
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:23,489
You're only calling us that
'cause we puked in the van.
3
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,327
You've been sentenced
to complete
4
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,665
"The Highland Trek
for Troubled Truants"
5
00:00:27,765 --> 00:00:29,569
by the juvenile court.
6
00:00:29,703 --> 00:00:31,238
So why are you in charge?
7
00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:34,445
Because this is my sentence
from the adult court!
8
00:00:34,579 --> 00:00:36,382
Now watch the video.
9
00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:39,288
Welcome, wayward teens
and aspiring criminals.
10
00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:41,627
The Highlands Trek will
teach you resilience,
11
00:00:41,727 --> 00:00:44,398
team-building,
collective mindfulness--
12
00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:45,768
Stupid buzzwords!
13
00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:47,070
They mean nothing.
14
00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:49,843
Just get your sorry arses
to Ankle Rock
15
00:00:49,943 --> 00:00:51,512
by tomorrow at noon.
16
00:00:51,613 --> 00:00:53,483
Uh, I'm not really
seeing the ankle.
17
00:00:53,550 --> 00:00:56,389
The ankle doesn't care
what ya see!
18
00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:06,442
Oh, man, this is so lame.
19
00:01:06,576 --> 00:01:08,279
They're just picking on us
because we're thugs
20
00:01:08,379 --> 00:01:10,818
and badasses, right, guys?
21
00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:13,489
Nice backpack, Simpson.
22
00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:16,830
What do you got in there,
ladies' underwear?
23
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:21,105
Lovely, you've already
isolated the weak one.
24
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:24,411
But there's
still one more delinquent
25
00:01:24,478 --> 00:01:27,217
to join your scurvy crew.
26
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,129
Hello, fellows.
27
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:36,268
Oh, my!
I seem to have turtled myself.
28
00:01:36,335 --> 00:01:40,443
Now, Martin, don't forget
your nightly tick check.
29
00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:42,815
You know how they love
the little fat folds
30
00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,719
- in your tum-tum.
- Yes, Mother.
31
00:01:44,819 --> 00:01:48,159
My magnifying glass and tweezers
are in my toiletry pouch.
32
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,996
- Huh?
- Uh...
33
00:01:50,063 --> 00:01:51,265
Thank you, God!
34
00:01:51,332 --> 00:01:52,802
You sent me a dork so dweeby
35
00:01:52,869 --> 00:01:54,171
even I can pick on him.
36
00:01:54,271 --> 00:01:56,375
Nice backpack, Martin.
37
00:01:56,475 --> 00:01:58,981
What do you got in there,
ladies' underwear?
38
00:01:59,048 --> 00:02:00,951
Good one.
39
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,793
Come on, Simpson,
let's get this over with.
40
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:08,266
Oh, and as you wander aimlessly,
freezing, hungry
41
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:11,505
and weeping for your mothers,
keep your eyes open.
42
00:02:11,606 --> 00:02:14,144
Along the way,
you might just find
43
00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:17,552
the greatest of all treasures.
44
00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:18,620
Whoa, treasure.
45
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,323
This death march
to stay out of prison
46
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,527
just got interesting.
47
00:02:22,595 --> 00:02:24,599
They're so screwed.
48
00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:27,605
Well, better get off
to me side hustle.
49
00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:32,615
Woof, woof! Birthday Dog
says, "Happy birthday."
50
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,226
So, Simpson,
51
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:41,098
what did you do
to get stuck on this perp hike?
52
00:02:41,198 --> 00:02:42,769
Let's just say I got
a little creative
53
00:02:42,869 --> 00:02:44,939
with some laundry pods.
54
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,561
Not bad.
Juvenile, but delinquent.
55
00:02:55,628 --> 00:02:58,332
Not half as cool
as what I did, though.
56
00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:07,284
What can I say?
I love dining al fresco.
57
00:03:07,384 --> 00:03:10,023
Who doesn't?
But check out what I did.
58
00:03:16,368 --> 00:03:19,208
I wonder what Princey Pants
did to get stuck here?
59
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:21,813
Nothing. I chose to be here.
60
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:22,849
Wha...?
61
00:03:22,915 --> 00:03:24,151
This extracurricular activity
62
00:03:24,218 --> 00:03:27,424
will give me an edge with the
most exclusive middle schools.
63
00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:29,461
Carvingsley,
Thistleberry Hall...
64
00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:32,067
Stop being you.
65
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:34,204
Included in the shoving circle.
66
00:03:34,304 --> 00:03:36,242
Could this day get any better?
67
00:03:36,308 --> 00:03:38,246
Wisteria Country Day...
68
00:03:39,549 --> 00:03:41,653
Hey, Marjorie,
without the boy around,
69
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,857
- maybe we can...
- Mm.
70
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,460
And...
71
00:03:45,561 --> 00:03:47,264
- Mm.
- And...
72
00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:51,272
Oh, Homie,
I like two of those things.
73
00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,376
And I'll consider the third.
74
00:03:55,581 --> 00:03:57,217
Non-problem child!
75
00:03:57,284 --> 00:03:59,622
Mom, Dad, with Bart away,
76
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:03,296
I can now fulfill a dream
I never dared speak aloud.
77
00:04:03,396 --> 00:04:06,235
For one fleeting weekend,
I want to live as...
78
00:04:06,302 --> 00:04:08,105
an only child.
79
00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:10,711
"Only child"? What about Maggie?
80
00:04:10,811 --> 00:04:14,418
Um, I kind of made
alternate arrangements for her.
81
00:04:14,485 --> 00:04:17,324
Time for
a Flip This Bathroom marathon.
82
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,764
Ooh, baby, Mama loves
her terra cotta.
83
00:04:22,568 --> 00:04:24,873
As you can see
on this pie chart,
84
00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:28,446
this is the time you spend on
my older and younger siblings.
85
00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:31,018
So, if you'll just humor
a middle child's
86
00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,722
most frivolous whimsy,
87
00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:35,326
I would like you to spend
the entire weekend
88
00:04:35,393 --> 00:04:37,899
focusing only on me.
89
00:04:37,965 --> 00:04:39,201
- No.
- Homer!
90
00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:40,804
Of course we will.
91
00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:42,207
Oh, it's wonderful!
92
00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:43,810
Oh, and for the next two days,
93
00:04:43,877 --> 00:04:46,348
I would like you
to call me Jules.
94
00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,754
I think an only child
would have a name
95
00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:50,824
like Jules.
96
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,364
Okay!
Our first only-child activity
97
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:56,001
is gonna be playing horsey.
98
00:04:56,101 --> 00:04:58,105
Start working on your neighs.
99
00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:11,131
♪ Who still sleeps
in Mommy's bed? ♪
100
00:05:11,198 --> 00:05:13,402
♪ Seymour Skinner ♪
101
00:05:13,502 --> 00:05:15,875
♪ Who wears a toupee
on his head? ♪
102
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,778
♪ Seymour Skinner ♪
103
00:05:17,845 --> 00:05:20,416
♪ Who kisses
Gary Chalmers' butt? ♪
104
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,555
♪ Seymour Skinner ♪
105
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,460
♪ He does his best
with budget cuts ♪
106
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:28,600
♪ Seymour Skinner... ♪
107
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,571
Don't worry, guys.
108
00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:33,342
I got this.
109
00:05:35,146 --> 00:05:36,983
What the hell was that?
110
00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,054
It's a baby goat.
111
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,791
In a cage.
112
00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:44,464
Yeah, okay, okay.
The best thing to do
113
00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:46,435
is just kick it and leave.
114
00:05:46,502 --> 00:05:49,308
Hold on, goat-- G-O-A-T.
115
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:51,646
This has to be
the "greatest of all treasures"
116
00:05:51,746 --> 00:05:54,318
that janitor guy
was talking about.
117
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,021
What kind of treasure is a goat?
118
00:05:56,088 --> 00:05:58,727
Trust me, I've done
all the disciplinary courses.
119
00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:02,434
Outward Bound, Inward Pummel,
Empathy Boot Camp.
120
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,572
They always have
stupid word puzzles,
121
00:06:04,639 --> 00:06:06,141
and this is one of them.
122
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,281
We got to take the goat
with us back to Ankle Rock.
123
00:06:09,348 --> 00:06:11,720
Hell no--
I don't trust that thing.
124
00:06:11,786 --> 00:06:13,590
Look at those frog-ass eyes.
125
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:15,661
Which way is he even
supposed to be looking?
126
00:06:17,264 --> 00:06:18,466
Tough nards, goat-scroat.
127
00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,069
It's coming with us.
128
00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:22,708
Welcome to the Troubled Truants.
129
00:06:32,595 --> 00:06:34,565
You know,
this goat's pretty cool.
130
00:06:34,632 --> 00:06:37,638
I think we should call him... Axel.
131
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,544
No way! That name's
reserved for Axl Rose,
132
00:06:40,644 --> 00:06:42,447
the god of heavy metal.
133
00:06:42,514 --> 00:06:44,986
Well, this Axel eats metal.
134
00:06:45,086 --> 00:06:47,625
My hearts of palm!
135
00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:50,463
Whoa! Axel likes nerd grub.
136
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,467
Let's see what other
137
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:53,937
stupid stuff it eats.
138
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:55,273
My smoothie-shaker!
139
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,977
My graphing calculator!
140
00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,747
My night crocs!
141
00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:04,524
Guys, maybe we should let him
keep some of his stuff?
142
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:06,596
You're sticking up
for this dorkus?
143
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:09,434
Maybe you're not the jerk
we thought you were.
144
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,246
Return our sacrificial goat.
145
00:07:15,313 --> 00:07:18,687
Or my scythe shall reap
your souls.
146
00:07:26,068 --> 00:07:30,176
Return our goat or die!
147
00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,333
Haw-haw! Haw-haw!
148
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,004
Haw-haw!
149
00:07:46,141 --> 00:07:48,547
I think those skull-heads
were Satanists.
150
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:51,485
Ah, great,
we finally meet someone cool,
151
00:07:51,586 --> 00:07:53,623
and they want
to chop us in half.
152
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,928
According to the map,
this river goes
153
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,631
right by Ankle Rock.
154
00:07:57,765 --> 00:07:59,534
And, look, Dame Fortune
155
00:07:59,602 --> 00:08:01,840
has gifted us a canoe.
156
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,714
Let's splash this thing.
157
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,954
Come on, Axel, get in the boat.
158
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:11,893
Ugh.
Forget that stupid chomp horse.
159
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:13,295
Just leave him.
160
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,233
Yeah, bros before goats.
161
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,573
But you said he was
the greatest of all treasures.
162
00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:20,243
I'm allowed to change my mind.
163
00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:22,648
I contain multitudes, dingus.
164
00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:25,386
But if the Satanists find Axel,
they'll slaughter
165
00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:27,558
every last hair
on his chinny chin chin!
166
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:30,063
We can just walk--
it'll take a little longer,
167
00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:33,402
but I can always use
more steps on my FatBit.
168
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,939
- Walk?
- No way!
169
00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:37,077
Okay, Simpson,
you got to choose.
170
00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:39,114
Boat or goat?
171
00:08:41,018 --> 00:08:42,320
Mm...
172
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:45,126
I guess I'm with Axel.
173
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:47,230
And... Martin.
174
00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:51,305
Your funeral, nard-bags.
175
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,610
Okay, river, to Ankle Rock.
176
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,848
It's just you and me, chum.
177
00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:58,519
And, good news,
the footbridge across the river
178
00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,791
is only eight kilometers away.
179
00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:03,930
This day
just keeps getting better.
180
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:06,569
This day just keeps
getting better!
181
00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:08,506
Ha! My roll again.
182
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,409
Boy, my turn comes
so much quicker
183
00:09:10,476 --> 00:09:12,648
when there's
only the three of us.
184
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,621
This is pretty fun, Lisa.
185
00:09:15,687 --> 00:09:18,159
I mean, Jules, Jules.
186
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,564
I didn't even know
we had Suffragette Monopoly.
187
00:09:20,664 --> 00:09:22,935
And there's the box.
188
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:25,306
Because it's been buried
under the games
189
00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:27,143
Bart always gets to play.
190
00:09:28,212 --> 00:09:29,916
And there are the boxes.
191
00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:30,951
Ha! Yay!
192
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:33,222
You landed on my protest corner.
193
00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:35,092
$250, please.
194
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:36,228
Fine, here's
195
00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:39,301
two Lucretia Motts
and an Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
196
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,305
But I want to wear the hat.
197
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:42,307
- Hmm?
- Mm.
198
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,643
Is that the time?
199
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:44,912
We're way behind on my list
200
00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:46,850
of only-child activities.
201
00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:49,120
Hmm, "stuffed animal high tea,
202
00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:50,757
toenail painting party?"
203
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,661
Do I even have toenails?
204
00:09:52,728 --> 00:09:54,397
Our sourdough should have been
205
00:09:54,498 --> 00:09:56,502
in the proving drawer
20 minutes ago!
206
00:09:56,535 --> 00:09:58,272
Honey, relax.
207
00:09:58,372 --> 00:09:59,809
We have plenty of time.
208
00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:02,013
Bart will be back in 18 hours.
209
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,583
Now, let's get moving, people.
210
00:10:03,650 --> 00:10:04,952
If this bread doesn't rise,
211
00:10:05,019 --> 00:10:07,090
you're gonna see a side of Jules
212
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,994
you never knew existed.
213
00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:11,365
I'm scared of Jules.
214
00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:15,439
- Stupid oars.
- Stupid river.
215
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,659
Huh?
216
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,499
"Welcome to our Airbnb."
217
00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:29,835
What the hell's that?
218
00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:31,673
It's when rich people rent
their extra houses out
219
00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:34,745
- for lots of money.
- Extra houses?
220
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,417
Gah...
221
00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:48,005
Oh!
222
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,775
Al fresco!
223
00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:54,952
My parents won't let me watch
Itchy and Scratchy.
224
00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:58,058
But I do watch Caillou,
a Canadian educational program
225
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,498
about a bald boy fascinated
by the world around him.
226
00:11:01,566 --> 00:11:03,970
Sounds great.
227
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:07,510
Hey, my Code Orange
Nuclear Cheezee Thingz!
228
00:11:07,578 --> 00:11:09,649
That's my breakfast,
lunch and dinner.
229
00:11:11,786 --> 00:11:14,057
You know, Bart, this summer,
my family's going
230
00:11:14,124 --> 00:11:17,196
to visit Grandmother Didi
and her friend Carol
231
00:11:17,297 --> 00:11:18,800
on Sanibel Island.
232
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,804
Mother and Father said
I can bring a chum.
233
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:23,275
What say that chum were you?
234
00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:24,912
Shut up!
235
00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:28,052
Just because we both like this
goat doesn't mean I like you.
236
00:11:28,118 --> 00:11:30,624
I mean, come on,
you're a loser nerd
237
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,427
and I'm King Stink.
238
00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:36,201
We have nothing in common,
and we can never be friends.
239
00:11:41,746 --> 00:11:43,550
Lisa...
240
00:11:43,617 --> 00:11:45,687
Uh, Jules, slow down.
241
00:11:45,754 --> 00:11:47,625
There's plenty of ice cream.
242
00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,194
No way.
243
00:11:49,261 --> 00:11:51,899
Bart always eats
all the Mint Choco Smash.
244
00:11:51,966 --> 00:11:54,204
And I...
245
00:11:54,337 --> 00:11:56,441
don't get any.
246
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,580
Now I'm gonna finish it.
247
00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:03,355
Oh, my gosh, it's time
for my only-child beat poetry.
248
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,526
Okay, Mom, you're on bongos.
249
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,831
Dad, you snap.
250
00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:11,038
A room to myself.
251
00:12:11,138 --> 00:12:13,810
becomes a womb to my self.
252
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:17,785
A solitary tree
in this only-child family.
253
00:12:17,885 --> 00:12:20,222
Not lonely, but singular.
254
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,659
Ya dig?
255
00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:24,130
Okay, okay, okay, next activity!
256
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:26,869
Hey, we didn't get
to do my poem.
257
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,109
There's no time!
258
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:33,148
We still have
Daddy-daughter piggyback ride.
259
00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:34,685
Giddyap!
260
00:12:34,752 --> 00:12:36,589
Oh, this is great!
It's so great!
261
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,294
I'm finally an only child.
262
00:12:39,394 --> 00:12:41,331
Faster, faster!
263
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,479
Jules doesn't feel so good.
264
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:50,249
I'm sorry.
265
00:12:50,316 --> 00:12:51,418
That's okay, sweetie.
266
00:12:51,485 --> 00:12:54,659
All my best nights end
with throwing up, too.
267
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,677
Where be our goat?
268
00:13:05,547 --> 00:13:07,050
But we don't have the goat.
269
00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:09,087
The other losers have it.
270
00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:11,693
Banish them to the dungeon.
271
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,938
Let us out!
272
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:21,078
There's old lawn chairs
down here!
273
00:13:22,046 --> 00:13:24,050
So... what time tomorrow
274
00:13:24,117 --> 00:13:25,987
do you think we'll make it
to the rock, buddy?
275
00:13:26,088 --> 00:13:27,457
I'm not your buddy.
276
00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:28,827
I don't have any buddies.
277
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,931
Well, you could.
278
00:13:30,997 --> 00:13:33,603
Just pretend to like stuff
regular kids like.
279
00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:36,108
Dial down the dork a little bit.
280
00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:37,644
You think it's that easy?
281
00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:39,147
You don't know the hell
I'm living in!
282
00:13:39,214 --> 00:13:41,084
My parents have me
in a pressure cooker!
283
00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:43,021
Classical Greek club,
waltzing lessons.
284
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,859
I'm going to explode.
285
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,731
And I have problems, Bart--
scary problems!
286
00:13:47,798 --> 00:13:49,668
I see two therapists!
287
00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:51,471
They email each other about me.
288
00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:54,578
And I'm on drugs--
Focusyn to help me focus,
289
00:13:54,645 --> 00:13:56,716
Somnicrank to help me sleep!
290
00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:58,385
I hope you take those with food.
291
00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:01,491
And don't forget Intriginol
to lift my spirts.
292
00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:03,596
Because they're low, Bart.
293
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,734
Ever so low.
294
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,138
Dude, you're freaking us out!
295
00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:10,777
And I didn't volunteer
for this juvie-jaunt.
296
00:14:10,877 --> 00:14:13,115
Like you, I was sentenced to it.
297
00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:16,221
Because of what I did.
298
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,127
- I broke into that pharmacy
299
00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:21,164
to steal more drugs,
300
00:14:21,264 --> 00:14:23,937
because I still wasn't focused
enough to please my parents.
301
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:26,909
Never enough focus
for Gareth and Gloria.
302
00:14:26,976 --> 00:14:29,481
Whoa, you may not be cool,
303
00:14:29,548 --> 00:14:32,453
but you're psycho, and that
makes you kind of awesome.
304
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,992
Your words of praise
are but honey drizzled
305
00:14:35,092 --> 00:14:37,330
- on bitter greens!
- Huh?
306
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,802
You're only nice to me
when no one's around.
307
00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,806
Which makes you worse
than a bully.
308
00:14:41,873 --> 00:14:44,645
It makes you a coward
and a conformist.
309
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,216
You're not a rebel or a bad boy.
310
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,957
You're nothing but a follower.
311
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,362
Come on, Axel, let's go.
312
00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:56,434
Axel, no, you can't
choose him over me.
313
00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:01,846
Mm...
314
00:15:09,461 --> 00:15:11,666
Axel!
315
00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:13,035
I knew
you'd come back for me.
316
00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,740
Oh, I love you too, goat,
317
00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:18,512
with your wet slimy kisses.
318
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:20,049
Ew, slugs!
319
00:15:20,182 --> 00:15:22,453
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
320
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,792
Hmm. Oh, right.
321
00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:26,829
I've been ditched, I'm lost,
322
00:15:26,929 --> 00:15:29,735
and the only people
looking for me are...
323
00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:31,572
Satanists.
324
00:15:31,672 --> 00:15:33,877
Let us out!
325
00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:36,214
We'll do Satan stuff for you!
326
00:15:36,314 --> 00:15:39,420
Like grow pointy beards
or draw them on with eyeliner!
327
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,926
I ask you a final time.
328
00:15:41,993 --> 00:15:44,632
Where is our sacrifice?
329
00:15:44,698 --> 00:15:47,537
We told you, we don't know
where the goat is.
330
00:15:47,638 --> 00:15:50,276
Then prepare to die!
331
00:15:51,779 --> 00:15:53,415
How?
332
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:01,398
What time is it? What happened?
333
00:16:01,498 --> 00:16:04,204
Oh, sweetie,
you got a little overexcited
334
00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:06,776
and barfed yourself to sleep.
335
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:09,080
Wait, I spent all night
sleeping in bed
336
00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:12,320
between Mom and Dad,
center spoon?
337
00:16:12,386 --> 00:16:15,727
It doesn't get more
"only child" than that.
338
00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:18,967
Wait, there's still time for us
to do "a gender-blind production
339
00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,873
of The Crucible,"
whatever those words mean.
340
00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:23,910
Meh, that's
kind of a Jules thing.
341
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:26,348
Right now, I'd kind of rather
just stay in bed
342
00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:28,018
and be a Lisa.
343
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,955
Mm.
344
00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:44,484
I don't need that stupid Martin.
345
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,354
I can make it
to Ankle Rock on my own.
346
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:48,660
Compass, which way do I go?
347
00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:50,362
Compass?
348
00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:52,500
Must not be getting a signal.
349
00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:56,007
Ew, it's poop.
350
00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:58,245
Nuclear orange poop...
351
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,750
Just like those Cheezee Thingz
Axel ate.
352
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,590
This is goat poop.
353
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,949
Martin. Martin! Oh, my God.
354
00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:18,820
He's dead!
355
00:17:18,886 --> 00:17:21,157
Oh, you're alive!
356
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,030
Man, you're a heavy sleeper.
357
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,602
That would be the Somnicrank.
358
00:17:26,702 --> 00:17:30,342
Listen man, that stuff
you said to me, you were right.
359
00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:32,346
I shouldn't care
what those bullies think of me.
360
00:17:32,413 --> 00:17:34,818
Well, I'm glad you've learned
that their approval
361
00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:37,691
is meaningless.
Help!
362
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,630
Satanists are gonna kill us!
363
00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:43,235
Oh, my God,
I've got to save those bullies.
364
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,039
Then they'll think I'm awesome.
365
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,543
No, then they'll think
we're awesome.
366
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,731
Cut!
367
00:17:57,798 --> 00:18:01,706
You can turn off
the voice-changing app, Madison.
368
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,743
Huh? Huh?
369
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:06,281
Those little kids ruined
the shot.
370
00:18:06,381 --> 00:18:09,253
Wait? This is just a movie?
371
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,157
They're not Satanists,
they're...
372
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,730
...film students.
373
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:16,034
The only thing worse
374
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:18,238
than nerds are film nerds.
375
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,209
My cousin went to film school.
376
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:22,581
And now he walks dogs
for a living.
377
00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:24,317
Stupid kids!
378
00:18:24,384 --> 00:18:26,187
Now we'll never get
into Splatter Fest.
379
00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:28,158
Let alone win the Palme D'gore!
380
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,406
You knocked
the blade off its track!
381
00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:38,680
Those little dudes are
gonna get sacrificed for real.
382
00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,619
Now we're getting
the performance.
383
00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:43,321
That's the fear.
384
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,027
Oh, that crazy blade's
going everywhere.
385
00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:48,065
What do we do?
386
00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:50,002
Hmm.
387
00:18:50,102 --> 00:18:52,708
The movements of the pendulum
may seem random,
388
00:18:52,808 --> 00:18:55,279
but it actually swings
in the exact pattern
389
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:57,216
of Strauss' "Blue Danube."
390
00:18:57,283 --> 00:18:59,520
Bart, waltz with me.
391
00:19:13,583 --> 00:19:16,221
It's okay, it's okay,
we can make this work.
392
00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,659
We can just add
the kid corpses in post.
393
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,164
Oh, God, no!
394
00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:23,468
Our entire film was on that!
395
00:19:23,569 --> 00:19:27,076
My footage, my beautiful
faked found footage!
396
00:19:29,313 --> 00:19:32,854
I can't go back to selling
essential oils on Facebook.
397
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,660
No one knows what they are.
398
00:19:35,727 --> 00:19:37,664
Haw-haw!
399
00:19:37,764 --> 00:19:39,768
Baa-baa!
400
00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:43,275
So then the po-po showed up
401
00:19:43,341 --> 00:19:45,212
and hauled me away.
402
00:19:45,312 --> 00:19:46,782
I hate the po-po!
403
00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:48,351
Prince, you're a certified
404
00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:50,657
pre-owned bad-ass.
405
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,493
Hmm.
406
00:19:56,434 --> 00:19:58,706
I was sure you'd get lost
407
00:19:58,773 --> 00:20:01,344
and eat the wee fat one,
but you made it.
408
00:20:01,478 --> 00:20:04,150
And that earns you
the greatest of all treasures.
409
00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,187
And it's right behind you.
410
00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:09,293
It's the land you traversed,
411
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,464
the journey you made,
412
00:20:11,531 --> 00:20:14,137
and the character you built.
413
00:20:14,237 --> 00:20:16,474
Are you freaking kidding me?
414
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:19,147
That's not treasure,
that's garbage.
415
00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:21,184
Nature is garbage.
416
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,530
Step away from those bad kids, Martin.
417
00:20:27,631 --> 00:20:29,534
You'll be late
for your violin lesson.
418
00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:31,872
By the way, you play that now.
419
00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:35,078
Yeah, they are bad kids.
420
00:20:35,145 --> 00:20:36,347
Just like me.
421
00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:39,053
And bad kids ride in the van.
422
00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:41,792
If it makes you nervous,
take a pill.
423
00:21:04,136 --> 00:21:06,441
Maggie, honey,
play nice with the kitty.
424
00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:08,646
I just have to...
425
00:21:08,713 --> 00:21:10,917
Oh, aah, the cat!
426
00:21:10,984 --> 00:21:13,021
- Oh, my God, aah!
- Bart, Bart, you come back here.
427
00:21:13,121 --> 00:21:15,793
- Ow!
- Bart!
428
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,263
Almost gotcha.
429
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,498
Oh, come back here!
430
00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:20,102
Oh! Let go! Ow!
Yum.
431
00:21:20,169 --> 00:21:21,672
I'm gonna send you back
432
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:22,641
to Willie
if you don't stop this.
433
00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,678
You stop right now.
434
00:21:24,778 --> 00:21:26,414
Why is no one helping me?!
Give me that
435
00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:27,516
tub of ice cream.
436
00:21:27,584 --> 00:21:28,953
Does anybody even see this?!
437
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,625
Ah...!
438
00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:35,733
Ow! Oh, let go!
439
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,405
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
440
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:41,879
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
441
00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:43,248
Shh!
442
00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:46,221
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
443
00:21:46,287 --> 00:21:48,793
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org