1 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,629 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 2 00:00:15,173 --> 00:00:17,579 (all three grunt) 3 00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:18,814 (grunting) 4 00:00:18,914 --> 00:00:20,651 Listen up, ya pukes. 5 00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:23,489 You're only calling us that 'cause we puked in the van. 6 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,327 You've been sentenced to complete 7 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,665 "The Highland Trek for Troubled Truants" 8 00:00:27,765 --> 00:00:29,569 by the juvenile court. 9 00:00:29,703 --> 00:00:31,238 So why are you in charge? 10 00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:34,445 Because this is my sentence from the adult court! 11 00:00:34,579 --> 00:00:36,382 Now watch the video. 12 00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:39,288 Welcome, wayward teens and aspiring criminals. 13 00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:41,627 The Highlands Trek will teach you resilience, 14 00:00:41,727 --> 00:00:44,398 team-building, collective mindfulness-- 15 00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:45,768 WILLIE: Stupid buzzwords! 16 00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:47,070 They mean nothing. 17 00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:49,843 Just get your sorry arses to Ankle Rock 18 00:00:49,943 --> 00:00:51,512 by tomorrow at noon. 19 00:00:51,613 --> 00:00:53,483 Uh, I'm not really seeing the ankle. 20 00:00:53,550 --> 00:00:56,389 The ankle doesn't care what ya see! 21 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,562 (munching loudly) 22 00:01:03,737 --> 00:01:04,639 (chuckles) 23 00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:06,442 Oh, man, this is so lame. 24 00:01:06,576 --> 00:01:08,279 They're just picking on us because we're thugs 25 00:01:08,379 --> 00:01:10,818 and badasses, right, guys? 26 00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:13,489 (chuckles) Nice backpack, Simpson. 27 00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:16,830 What do you got in there, ladies' underwear? 28 00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:18,567 (both laughing) 29 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:21,105 Lovely, you've already isolated the weak one. 30 00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:24,411 (laughs) But there's still one more delinquent 31 00:01:24,478 --> 00:01:27,217 to join your scurvy crew. 32 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,129 Hello, fellows. (grunts) 33 00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:36,268 Oh, my! I seem to have turtled myself. 34 00:01:36,335 --> 00:01:40,443 Now, Martin, don't forget your nightly tick check. 35 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:42,815 You know how they love the little fat folds 36 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,719 - in your tum-tum. - Yes, Mother. 37 00:01:44,819 --> 00:01:48,159 My magnifying glass and tweezers are in my toiletry pouch. 38 00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,996 - Huh? - Uh... 39 00:01:50,063 --> 00:01:51,265 BART: Thank you, God! 40 00:01:51,332 --> 00:01:52,802 You sent me a dork so dweeby 41 00:01:52,869 --> 00:01:54,171 even I can pick on him. 42 00:01:54,271 --> 00:01:56,375 Nice backpack, Martin. 43 00:01:56,475 --> 00:01:58,981 What do you got in there, ladies' underwear? 44 00:01:59,048 --> 00:02:00,951 - (both laugh) - Good one. 45 00:02:01,052 --> 00:02:02,454 (laughs) 46 00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,793 Come on, Simpson, let's get this over with. 47 00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:08,266 Oh, and as you wander aimlessly, freezing, hungry 48 00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:11,505 and weeping for your mothers, keep your eyes open. 49 00:02:11,606 --> 00:02:14,144 Along the way, you might just find 50 00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:17,552 the greatest of all treasures. 51 00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:18,620 Whoa, treasure. 52 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,323 This death march to stay out of prison 53 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,527 just got interesting. 54 00:02:22,595 --> 00:02:24,599 (chuckles) They're so screwed. 55 00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:27,605 Well, better get off to me side hustle. 56 00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:32,615 Woof, woof! Birthday Dog says, "Happy birthday." 57 00:02:32,682 --> 00:02:34,753 ♪ ♪ 58 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,226 So, Simpson, 59 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:41,098 what did you do to get stuck on this perp hike? 60 00:02:41,198 --> 00:02:42,769 Let's just say I got a little creative 61 00:02:42,869 --> 00:02:44,939 with some laundry pods. 62 00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:47,511 (air horn blows) 63 00:02:47,578 --> 00:02:48,881 (explosion) 64 00:02:48,947 --> 00:02:50,651 (cats meowing) 65 00:02:50,718 --> 00:02:51,887 (siren wailing) 66 00:02:51,953 --> 00:02:53,189 (buzzer sounds) 67 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,561 Not bad. Juvenile, but delinquent. 68 00:02:55,628 --> 00:02:58,332 Not half as cool as what I did, though. 69 00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:01,138 (bell dings) 70 00:03:01,238 --> 00:03:02,274 (siren wailing) 71 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,311 (buzzer sounds) 72 00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:07,284 What can I say? I love dining al fresco. 73 00:03:07,384 --> 00:03:10,023 Who doesn't? But check out what I did. 74 00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:13,630 - (glass shattering) - (coins jingling) 75 00:03:13,697 --> 00:03:16,268 - (siren wailing) - (buzzer sounds) 76 00:03:16,368 --> 00:03:19,208 I wonder what Princey Pants did to get stuck here? 77 00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:21,813 Nothing. I chose to be here. 78 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:22,849 ALL THREE: Wha...? 79 00:03:22,915 --> 00:03:24,151 This extracurricular activity 80 00:03:24,218 --> 00:03:27,424 will give me an edge with the most exclusive middle schools. 81 00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:29,461 Carvingsley, Thistleberry Hall... 82 00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:32,067 - Stop being you. - (grunting) 83 00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:34,204 BART: Included in the shoving circle. 84 00:03:34,304 --> 00:03:36,242 Could this day get any better? 85 00:03:36,308 --> 00:03:38,246 Wisteria Country Day... 86 00:03:38,312 --> 00:03:39,448 (humming) 87 00:03:39,549 --> 00:03:41,653 Hey, Marjorie, without the boy around, 88 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,857 - maybe we can... (whispering) - Mm. 89 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,460 And... (whispering) 90 00:03:45,561 --> 00:03:47,264 - Mm. - And... (giggles) 91 00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,168 (whispering) 92 00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:51,272 Oh, Homie, I like two of those things. 93 00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,376 And I'll consider the third. 94 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,447 (both giggling) 95 00:03:55,581 --> 00:03:57,217 - (both gasp) - Non-problem child! 96 00:03:57,284 --> 00:03:59,622 Mom, Dad, with Bart away, 97 00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:03,296 I can now fulfill a dream I never dared speak aloud. 98 00:04:03,396 --> 00:04:06,235 For one fleeting weekend, I want to live as... 99 00:04:06,302 --> 00:04:08,105 an only child. 100 00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:10,711 "Only child"? What about Maggie? 101 00:04:10,811 --> 00:04:14,418 Um, I kind of made alternate arrangements for her. 102 00:04:14,485 --> 00:04:17,324 Time for a Flip This Bathroom marathon. 103 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,764 Ooh, baby, Mama loves her terra cotta. 104 00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:22,467 (sighs) 105 00:04:22,568 --> 00:04:24,873 As you can see on this pie chart, 106 00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:28,446 this is the time you spend on my older and younger siblings. 107 00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:31,018 So, if you'll just humor a middle child's 108 00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,722 most frivolous whimsy, 109 00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:35,326 I would like you to spend the entire weekend 110 00:04:35,393 --> 00:04:37,899 focusing only on me. 111 00:04:37,965 --> 00:04:39,201 - No. - Homer! 112 00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:40,804 Of course we will. 113 00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:42,207 Oh, it's wonderful! 114 00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:43,810 Oh, and for the next two days, 115 00:04:43,877 --> 00:04:46,348 I would like you to call me Jules. 116 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,754 I think an only child would have a name 117 00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:50,824 like Jules. 118 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,364 Okay! Our first only-child activity 119 00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:56,001 is gonna be playing horsey. 120 00:04:56,101 --> 00:04:58,105 Start working on your neighs. 121 00:04:58,239 --> 00:05:00,143 (both neighing) 122 00:05:00,243 --> 00:05:02,414 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 123 00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:11,131 ♪ Who still sleeps in Mommy's bed? ♪ 124 00:05:11,198 --> 00:05:13,402 ♪ Seymour Skinner ♪ 125 00:05:13,502 --> 00:05:15,875 ♪ Who wears a toupee on his head? ♪ 126 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,778 ♪ Seymour Skinner ♪ 127 00:05:17,845 --> 00:05:20,416 ♪ Who kisses Gary Chalmers' butt? ♪ 128 00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,555 ♪ Seymour Skinner ♪ 129 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,460 ♪ He does his best with budget cuts ♪ 130 00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:28,600 ♪ Seymour Skinner... ♪ 131 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,571 (sighs) Don't worry, guys. 132 00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:33,342 I got this. (grunts) 133 00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:35,079 (bleating nearby) 134 00:05:35,146 --> 00:05:36,983 What the hell was that? 135 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,054 It's a baby goat. 136 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,791 In a cage. 137 00:05:40,858 --> 00:05:42,662 (bleating) 138 00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:44,464 Yeah, okay, okay. The best thing to do 139 00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:46,435 is just kick it and leave. 140 00:05:46,502 --> 00:05:49,308 Hold on, goat-- G-O-A-T. 141 00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:51,646 This has to be the "greatest of all treasures" 142 00:05:51,746 --> 00:05:54,318 that janitor guy was talking about. 143 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,021 What kind of treasure is a goat? 144 00:05:56,088 --> 00:05:58,727 Trust me, I've done all the disciplinary courses. 145 00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:02,434 Outward Bound, Inward Pummel, Empathy Boot Camp. 146 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,572 They always have stupid word puzzles, 147 00:06:04,639 --> 00:06:06,141 and this is one of them. 148 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,281 We got to take the goat with us back to Ankle Rock. 149 00:06:09,348 --> 00:06:11,720 Hell no-- I don't trust that thing. 150 00:06:11,786 --> 00:06:13,590 Look at those frog-ass eyes. 151 00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:15,661 Which way is he even supposed to be looking? 152 00:06:15,761 --> 00:06:17,163 (bleats) 153 00:06:17,264 --> 00:06:18,466 Tough nards, goat-scroat. 154 00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,069 It's coming with us. 155 00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:22,708 Welcome to the Troubled Truants. 156 00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:24,478 (bleats) 157 00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:26,716 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 158 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,494 (bleating) 159 00:06:32,595 --> 00:06:34,565 BART: You know, this goat's pretty cool. 160 00:06:34,632 --> 00:06:37,638 I think we should call him... Axel. 161 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,544 No way! That name's reserved for Axl Rose, 162 00:06:40,644 --> 00:06:42,447 the god of heavy metal. 163 00:06:42,514 --> 00:06:44,986 Well, this Axel eats metal. 164 00:06:45,086 --> 00:06:47,625 (gasps) My hearts of palm! 165 00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:50,463 Whoa! Axel likes nerd grub. 166 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,467 (chuckles) Let's see what other 167 00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:53,937 - stupid stuff it eats. - (gasps) 168 00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:55,273 My smoothie-shaker! 169 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,977 My graphing calculator! 170 00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,747 (gasps) My night crocs! 171 00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,450 (sobbing) 172 00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:04,524 Guys, maybe we should let him keep some of his stuff? 173 00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:06,596 You're sticking up for this dorkus? 174 00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:09,434 Maybe you're not the jerk we thought you were. 175 00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:11,840 (moaning nearby) 176 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,246 (monstrous voice): Return our sacrificial goat. 177 00:07:15,313 --> 00:07:18,687 Or my scythe shall reap your souls. 178 00:07:19,488 --> 00:07:22,227 - (all scream) - (Axel bleating) 179 00:07:26,068 --> 00:07:30,176 (monstrous voice): Return our goat or die! 180 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,478 (all scream) 181 00:07:31,546 --> 00:07:33,315 (Axel bleating) 182 00:07:33,382 --> 00:07:35,621 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 183 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,333 (panting): Haw-haw! Haw-haw! 184 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,004 Haw-haw! 185 00:07:46,141 --> 00:07:48,547 I think those skull-heads were Satanists. 186 00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:51,485 Ah, great, we finally meet someone cool, 187 00:07:51,586 --> 00:07:53,623 and they want to chop us in half. 188 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,928 According to the map, this river goes 189 00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,631 right by Ankle Rock. 190 00:07:57,765 --> 00:07:59,534 And, look, Dame Fortune 191 00:07:59,602 --> 00:08:01,840 has gifted us a canoe. 192 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,714 Let's splash this thing. 193 00:08:05,848 --> 00:08:06,883 (bleating) 194 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,954 Come on, Axel, get in the boat. 195 00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:11,893 Ugh. Forget that stupid chomp horse. 196 00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:13,295 Just leave him. 197 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,233 Yeah, bros before goats. 198 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,573 But you said he was the greatest of all treasures. 199 00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:20,243 I'm allowed to change my mind. 200 00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:22,648 I contain multitudes, dingus. 201 00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:25,386 But if the Satanists find Axel, they'll slaughter 202 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:27,558 every last hair on his chinny chin chin! 203 00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:30,063 We can just walk-- it'll take a little longer, 204 00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:33,402 but I can always use more steps on my FatBit. 205 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,939 - Walk? - No way! 206 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:37,077 Okay, Simpson, you got to choose. 207 00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:39,114 Boat or goat? 208 00:08:39,715 --> 00:08:40,951 (soft, sad bleat) 209 00:08:41,018 --> 00:08:42,320 Mm... 210 00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:45,126 I guess I'm with Axel. 211 00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:47,230 And... Martin. 212 00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:48,733 (Martin whooping) 213 00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:51,305 Your funeral, nard-bags. 214 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,610 Okay, river, to Ankle Rock. 215 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,848 It's just you and me, chum. 216 00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:58,519 And, good news, the footbridge across the river 217 00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,791 is only eight kilometers away. 218 00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:03,930 (sighs) This day just keeps getting better. 219 00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:06,569 This day just keeps getting better! 220 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:08,506 Ha! My roll again. 221 00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,409 Boy, my turn comes so much quicker 222 00:09:10,476 --> 00:09:12,648 when there's only the three of us. 223 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,621 This is pretty fun, Lisa. 224 00:09:15,687 --> 00:09:18,159 - (clears throat) - I mean, Jules, Jules. 225 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,564 I didn't even know we had Suffragette Monopoly. 226 00:09:20,664 --> 00:09:22,935 And there's the box. 227 00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:25,306 Because it's been buried under the games 228 00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:27,143 Bart always gets to play. 229 00:09:28,212 --> 00:09:29,916 And there are the boxes. 230 00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:30,951 Ha! Yay! 231 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:33,222 You landed on my protest corner. 232 00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:35,092 $250, please. 233 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:36,228 Fine, here's 234 00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:39,301 two Lucretia Motts and an Elizabeth Cady Stanton. 235 00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,305 But I want to wear the hat. 236 00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:42,307 - Hmm? - Mm. 237 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,643 Is that the time? 238 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:44,912 We're way behind on my list 239 00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:46,850 of only-child activities. 240 00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:49,120 Hmm, "stuffed animal high tea, 241 00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:50,757 toenail painting party?" 242 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,661 Do I even have toenails? 243 00:09:52,728 --> 00:09:54,397 Our sourdough should have been 244 00:09:54,498 --> 00:09:56,502 in the proving drawer 20 minutes ago! 245 00:09:56,535 --> 00:09:58,272 Honey, relax. 246 00:09:58,372 --> 00:09:59,809 We have plenty of time. 247 00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:02,013 Bart will be back in 18 hours. 248 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,583 Now, let's get moving, people. 249 00:10:03,650 --> 00:10:04,952 If this bread doesn't rise, 250 00:10:05,019 --> 00:10:07,090 you're gonna see a side of Jules 251 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,994 you never knew existed. 252 00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:11,365 (whispering loudly): I'm scared of Jules. 253 00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:15,439 - Stupid oars. - Stupid river. 254 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,778 (grunting) 255 00:10:20,082 --> 00:10:21,920 (shivering) 256 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,659 - (thunder rolling) - Huh? 257 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,395 (both shivering) 258 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,499 "Welcome to our Airbnb." 259 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:29,835 What the hell's that? 260 00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:31,673 It's when rich people rent their extra houses out 261 00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:34,745 - for lots of money. - Extra houses? 262 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,417 Gah... 263 00:10:38,753 --> 00:10:42,093 ("Everybody's Jumping" by Dave Brubeck Quartet playing) 264 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:48,005 BOTH: Oh! 265 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,775 Al fresco! 266 00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:51,980 (thunder crashes) 267 00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:54,952 My parents won't let me watch Itchy and Scratchy. 268 00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:58,058 But I do watch Caillou, a Canadian educational program 269 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,498 about a bald boy fascinated by the world around him. 270 00:11:01,566 --> 00:11:03,970 (groans) Sounds great. 271 00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:07,510 Hey, my Code Orange Nuclear Cheezee Thingz! 272 00:11:07,578 --> 00:11:09,649 That's my breakfast, lunch and dinner. 273 00:11:09,682 --> 00:11:11,686 (bleats, burps) 274 00:11:11,786 --> 00:11:14,057 You know, Bart, this summer, my family's going 275 00:11:14,124 --> 00:11:17,196 to visit Grandmother Didi and her friend Carol 276 00:11:17,297 --> 00:11:18,800 on Sanibel Island. 277 00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,804 Mother and Father said I can bring a chum. 278 00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:23,275 What say that chum were you? 279 00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:24,912 (groans) Shut up! 280 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:28,052 Just because we both like this goat doesn't mean I like you. 281 00:11:28,118 --> 00:11:30,624 I mean, come on, you're a loser nerd 282 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,427 and I'm King Stink. 283 00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:36,201 We have nothing in common, and we can never be friends. 284 00:11:36,234 --> 00:11:37,503 (gasps) 285 00:11:41,746 --> 00:11:43,550 - (munching) - Lisa... 286 00:11:43,617 --> 00:11:45,687 Uh, Jules, slow down. 287 00:11:45,754 --> 00:11:47,625 There's plenty of ice cream. 288 00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,194 No way. 289 00:11:49,261 --> 00:11:51,899 Bart always eats all the Mint Choco Smash. 290 00:11:51,966 --> 00:11:54,204 (munching): And I... 291 00:11:54,337 --> 00:11:56,441 don't get any. 292 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,580 Now I'm gonna finish it. 293 00:11:58,613 --> 00:12:00,316 (munching) 294 00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:03,355 Oh, my gosh, it's time for my only-child beat poetry. 295 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,526 Okay, Mom, you're on bongos. 296 00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,831 Dad, you snap. 297 00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:11,038 A room to myself. 298 00:12:11,138 --> 00:12:13,810 becomes a womb to my self. 299 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:17,785 A solitary tree in this only-child family. 300 00:12:17,885 --> 00:12:20,222 Not lonely, but singular. 301 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,659 Ya dig? 302 00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:24,130 (laughs) Okay, okay, okay, next activity! 303 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:26,869 Hey, we didn't get to do my poem. 304 00:12:26,936 --> 00:12:28,072 (Marge sighs) 305 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,109 There's no time! (munching) 306 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:33,148 We still have Daddy-daughter piggyback ride. 307 00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:34,685 Giddyap! 308 00:12:34,752 --> 00:12:36,589 Oh, this is great! It's so great! 309 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,294 I'm finally an only child. 310 00:12:39,394 --> 00:12:41,331 Faster, faster! 311 00:12:41,398 --> 00:12:43,435 (retching) 312 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,479 Jules doesn't feel so good. 313 00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:50,249 I'm sorry. 314 00:12:50,316 --> 00:12:51,418 That's okay, sweetie. 315 00:12:51,485 --> 00:12:54,659 All my best nights end with throwing up, too. 316 00:12:54,792 --> 00:12:56,996 (both snoring) 317 00:13:00,302 --> 00:13:01,171 (both screaming) 318 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,677 (monstrous voice): Where be our goat? 319 00:13:03,743 --> 00:13:05,413 (both scream) 320 00:13:05,547 --> 00:13:07,050 But we don't have the goat. 321 00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:09,087 The other losers have it. 322 00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:11,693 Banish them to the dungeon. 323 00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:13,429 (both thud) 324 00:13:13,495 --> 00:13:15,066 (door creaks closed) 325 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,938 - (pounding on door) - NELSON: Let us out! 326 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:21,078 DOLPH: There's old lawn chairs down here! 327 00:13:22,046 --> 00:13:24,050 So... what time tomorrow 328 00:13:24,117 --> 00:13:25,987 do you think we'll make it to the rock, buddy? 329 00:13:26,088 --> 00:13:27,457 I'm not your buddy. 330 00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:28,827 I don't have any buddies. 331 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,931 (sighs) Well, you could. 332 00:13:30,997 --> 00:13:33,603 Just pretend to like stuff regular kids like. 333 00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:36,108 Dial down the dork a little bit. 334 00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:37,644 You think it's that easy? 335 00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:39,147 You don't know the hell I'm living in! 336 00:13:39,214 --> 00:13:41,084 My parents have me in a pressure cooker! 337 00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:43,021 Classical Greek club, waltzing lessons. 338 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,859 I'm going to explode. 339 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,731 And I have problems, Bart-- scary problems! 340 00:13:47,798 --> 00:13:49,668 I see two therapists! 341 00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:51,471 They email each other about me. 342 00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:54,578 And I'm on drugs-- Focusyn to help me focus, 343 00:13:54,645 --> 00:13:56,716 Somnicrank to help me sleep! 344 00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:58,385 I hope you take those with food. 345 00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:01,491 And don't forget Intriginol to lift my spirts. 346 00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:03,596 Because they're low, Bart. 347 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,734 Ever so low. 348 00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,138 Dude, you're freaking us out! 349 00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:10,777 And I didn't volunteer for this juvie-jaunt. 350 00:14:10,877 --> 00:14:13,115 Like you, I was sentenced to it. 351 00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:16,221 Because of what I did. 352 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,127 - (siren wailing) - I broke into that pharmacy 353 00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:21,164 to steal more drugs, 354 00:14:21,264 --> 00:14:23,937 because I still wasn't focused enough to please my parents. 355 00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:26,909 Never enough focus for Gareth and Gloria. 356 00:14:26,976 --> 00:14:29,481 Whoa, you may not be cool, 357 00:14:29,548 --> 00:14:32,453 but you're psycho, and that makes you kind of awesome. 358 00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,992 Your words of praise are but honey drizzled 359 00:14:35,092 --> 00:14:37,330 - on bitter greens! - Huh? 360 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,802 You're only nice to me when no one's around. 361 00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,806 Which makes you worse than a bully. 362 00:14:41,873 --> 00:14:44,645 It makes you a coward and a conformist. 363 00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,216 You're not a rebel or a bad boy. 364 00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:48,553 (laughs) 365 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,957 You're nothing but a follower. 366 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,362 Come on, Axel, let's go. 367 00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:56,434 Axel, no, you can't choose him over me. 368 00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:00,577 (bleats) 369 00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:01,846 Mm... 370 00:15:01,946 --> 00:15:04,117 (groans) 371 00:15:09,461 --> 00:15:11,666 - (bleats) - Axel! 372 00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:13,035 I knew you'd come back for me. 373 00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,740 Oh, I love you too, goat, 374 00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:18,512 with your wet slimy kisses. 375 00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:20,049 (screams) Ew, slugs! 376 00:15:20,182 --> 00:15:22,453 Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! 377 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,792 Hmm. Oh, right. 378 00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:26,829 I've been ditched, I'm lost, 379 00:15:26,929 --> 00:15:29,735 and the only people looking for me are... 380 00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:31,572 Satanists. 381 00:15:31,672 --> 00:15:33,877 (grunting) Let us out! 382 00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:36,214 We'll do Satan stuff for you! 383 00:15:36,314 --> 00:15:39,420 Like grow pointy beards or draw them on with eyeliner! 384 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,926 I ask you a final time. 385 00:15:41,993 --> 00:15:44,632 Where is our sacrifice? 386 00:15:44,698 --> 00:15:47,537 We told you, we don't know where the goat is. 387 00:15:47,638 --> 00:15:50,276 Then prepare to die! 388 00:15:51,779 --> 00:15:53,415 How? 389 00:15:53,482 --> 00:15:55,654 (both grunt) 390 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,793 (yawns) 391 00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:01,398 What time is it? What happened? 392 00:16:01,498 --> 00:16:04,204 Oh, sweetie, you got a little overexcited 393 00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:06,776 and barfed yourself to sleep. 394 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:09,080 Wait, I spent all night sleeping in bed 395 00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:12,320 between Mom and Dad, center spoon? 396 00:16:12,386 --> 00:16:15,727 It doesn't get more "only child" than that. 397 00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:18,967 Wait, there's still time for us to do "a gender-blind production 398 00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,873 of The Crucible," whatever those words mean. 399 00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:23,910 Meh, that's kind of a Jules thing. 400 00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:26,348 Right now, I'd kind of rather just stay in bed 401 00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:28,018 and be a Lisa. 402 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,955 ALL THREE: Mm. 403 00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:32,226 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 404 00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:44,484 I don't need that stupid Martin. 405 00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,354 I can make it to Ankle Rock on my own. 406 00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:48,660 Compass, which way do I go? 407 00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:50,362 Compass? (groans) 408 00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:52,500 Must not be getting a signal. 409 00:16:52,568 --> 00:16:53,570 (glass shatters) 410 00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:56,007 Ew, it's poop. 411 00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:58,245 Nuclear orange poop... (gasps) 412 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,750 Just like those Cheezee Thingz Axel ate. 413 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,590 This is goat poop. 414 00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:07,463 (Celtic heavy metal music playing) 415 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,375 (gasps) 416 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,949 Martin. Martin! Oh, my God. 417 00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:18,820 - He's dead! - (Martin moaning) 418 00:17:18,886 --> 00:17:21,157 Oh, you're alive! 419 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,030 - Man, you're a heavy sleeper. - (yawns) 420 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,602 That would be the Somnicrank. 421 00:17:26,702 --> 00:17:30,342 Listen man, that stuff you said to me, you were right. 422 00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:32,346 I shouldn't care what those bullies think of me. 423 00:17:32,413 --> 00:17:34,818 Well, I'm glad you've learned that their approval 424 00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:37,691 - is meaningless. - NELSON: Help! 425 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,630 Satanists are gonna kill us! 426 00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:43,235 Oh, my God, I've got to save those bullies. 427 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,039 Then they'll think I'm awesome. 428 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,543 No, then they'll think we're awesome. 429 00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,457 (shouting) 430 00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,731 Cut! 431 00:17:57,798 --> 00:18:01,706 You can turn off the voice-changing app, Madison. 432 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,743 Huh? Huh? 433 00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:06,281 (normal voice): Those little kids ruined the shot. 434 00:18:06,381 --> 00:18:09,253 Wait? This is just a movie? 435 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,157 They're not Satanists, they're... 436 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,730 (shudders) ...film students. 437 00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:16,034 (laughs) The only thing worse 438 00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:18,238 than nerds are film nerds. 439 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,209 My cousin went to film school. 440 00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:22,581 And now he walks dogs for a living. 441 00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:24,317 (groans) Stupid kids! 442 00:18:24,384 --> 00:18:26,187 Now we'll never get into Splatter Fest. 443 00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:28,158 Let alone win the Palme D'gore! 444 00:18:28,225 --> 00:18:30,195 (grunting) 445 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,003 (both shouting) 446 00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,406 You knocked the blade off its track! 447 00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:38,680 Those little dudes are gonna get sacrificed for real. 448 00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,619 Now we're getting the performance. 449 00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:43,321 That's the fear. 450 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,027 Oh, that crazy blade's going everywhere. 451 00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:48,065 What do we do? 452 00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:50,002 Hmm. (gasps) 453 00:18:50,102 --> 00:18:52,708 MARTIN: The movements of the pendulum may seem random, 454 00:18:52,808 --> 00:18:55,279 but it actually swings in the exact pattern 455 00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:57,216 of Strauss' "Blue Danube." 456 00:18:57,283 --> 00:18:59,520 Bart, waltz with me. 457 00:19:02,159 --> 00:19:04,364 (humming Strauss' "Blue Danube") 458 00:19:13,583 --> 00:19:16,221 It's okay, it's okay, we can make this work. 459 00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,659 We can just add the kid corpses in post. 460 00:19:18,726 --> 00:19:19,995 (grunting) 461 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,164 - MADISON: Oh, God, no! - (burps) 462 00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:23,468 Our entire film was on that! 463 00:19:23,569 --> 00:19:27,076 My footage, my beautiful faked found footage! 464 00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:29,247 (sobbing) 465 00:19:29,313 --> 00:19:32,854 I can't go back to selling essential oils on Facebook. 466 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,660 No one knows what they are. 467 00:19:35,727 --> 00:19:37,664 ALL FOUR: Haw-haw! 468 00:19:37,764 --> 00:19:39,768 Baa-baa! 469 00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:43,275 So then the po-po showed up 470 00:19:43,341 --> 00:19:45,212 and hauled me away. 471 00:19:45,312 --> 00:19:46,782 I hate the po-po! 472 00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:48,351 Prince, you're a certified 473 00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:50,657 pre-owned bad-ass. 474 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,493 Hmm. 475 00:19:56,434 --> 00:19:58,706 I was sure you'd get lost 476 00:19:58,773 --> 00:20:01,344 and eat the wee fat one, but you made it. 477 00:20:01,478 --> 00:20:04,150 And that earns you the greatest of all treasures. 478 00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,187 And it's right behind you. 479 00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:09,293 It's the land you traversed, 480 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,464 the journey you made, 481 00:20:11,531 --> 00:20:14,137 and the character you built. 482 00:20:14,237 --> 00:20:16,474 Are you freaking kidding me? 483 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:19,147 That's not treasure, that's garbage. 484 00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:21,184 Nature is garbage. 485 00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,488 (grunting) 486 00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,530 Step away from those bad kids, Martin. 487 00:20:27,631 --> 00:20:29,534 You'll be late for your violin lesson. 488 00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:31,872 By the way, you play that now. 489 00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:35,078 Yeah, they are bad kids. 490 00:20:35,145 --> 00:20:36,347 Just like me. 491 00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:39,053 And bad kids ride in the van. 492 00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:41,792 If it makes you nervous, take a pill. 493 00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:43,896 (boys laughing) 494 00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:46,234 (Martin grunts) 495 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:48,472 (bleating) 496 00:20:48,606 --> 00:20:50,610 ♪ ♪ 497 00:21:04,136 --> 00:21:06,441 Maggie, honey, play nice with the kitty. 498 00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:08,646 I just have to... (shouting) 499 00:21:08,713 --> 00:21:10,917 Oh, aah, the cat! (screaming) 500 00:21:10,984 --> 00:21:13,021 - Oh, my God, aah! - Bart, Bart, you come back here. 501 00:21:13,121 --> 00:21:15,793 - (yowling) - (sobbing): Ow! - Bart! 502 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,263 - MARGE: Almost gotcha. - (chuckles) 503 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,498 - (Snowball II yowling) - HOMER: Oh, come back here! 504 00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:20,102 - Oh! Let go! Ow! - BART: Yum. 505 00:21:20,169 --> 00:21:21,672 MARGE: I'm gonna send you back 506 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:22,641 to Willie if you don't stop this. 507 00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,678 - (Bart chuckles) - MARGE: You stop right now. 508 00:21:24,778 --> 00:21:26,414 - HOMER: Why is no one helping me?! - MARGE: Give me that 509 00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:27,516 tub of ice cream. 510 00:21:27,584 --> 00:21:28,953 HOMER: Does anybody even see this?! 511 00:21:28,986 --> 00:21:30,122 (yelling) 512 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,625 Ah...! 513 00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:34,063 (Homer sobbing) 514 00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:35,733 Ow! Oh, let go! 515 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,405 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 516 00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:41,879 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 517 00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:43,248 Shh! 518 00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:46,221 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 519 00:21:46,287 --> 00:21:48,793 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org