1
00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:13,403
(Bart and Lisa noisily chewing)
Come on, come on, come on.
Pick up the pace.
2
00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:14,639
Here you go.
3
00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:20,585
- (grunts) Mm...
- (gulps)
4
00:00:20,651 --> 00:00:21,620
Mmm.
5
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:24,325
Hurry up! It's almost here.
6
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:25,595
- (doorbell rings)
- (exclaims)
7
00:00:25,661 --> 00:00:26,830
- (panting)
- Mm?
8
00:00:27,832 --> 00:00:28,934
Yippee!
9
00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:31,707
My industrial-grade
steam vacuum.
10
00:00:31,807 --> 00:00:33,309
The same model
they use to clean
11
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:36,783
grisly crime scenes
and sticky champagne rooms.
12
00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:39,923
Okay, ma'am, I have you down
for a three-hour rental
13
00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,996
starting... now.
14
00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:44,699
Everybody, out, out,
out, out, out!
15
00:00:44,766 --> 00:00:47,605
Me and the floors deserve
to savor every minute
16
00:00:47,705 --> 00:00:49,709
of our special spa day.
17
00:00:49,743 --> 00:00:50,978
And take the dog.
18
00:00:51,112 --> 00:00:52,147
(barks)
19
00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:54,418
Now it's my time
20
00:00:54,485 --> 00:00:57,491
to make these stains "herstory."
21
00:00:57,592 --> 00:01:00,865
Ugh, are you quoting
their actual slogan?
22
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:04,505
I'm quoting my wildest dreams.
23
00:01:09,315 --> 00:01:11,419
BOTH:
Dog park, dog park, dog park!
24
00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:12,220
KIDS: Whee!
25
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:13,991
- Whee! Whee!
- (boinging)
26
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:15,895
BOTH: Trampoline park,
trampoline park,
27
00:01:15,995 --> 00:01:16,964
trampoline park!
28
00:01:17,097 --> 00:01:19,736
Aw, don't leave me alone
in that giant dirt toilet
29
00:01:19,803 --> 00:01:22,742
with all those lonely
dog-obsessed weirdos.
30
00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:24,813
BOTH: Please.
31
00:01:24,846 --> 00:01:26,917
- (kids moaning)
- (boinging)
32
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:30,457
Well, what could go wrong
with all those doctors around?
33
00:01:33,964 --> 00:01:36,302
- Hey, Homer.
- What are you doing here?
34
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:38,774
(short chuckle) Once it became
clear that human companionship
35
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:40,176
was a non-starter,
36
00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:43,082
I adopted this handsome
little mister, Devin.
37
00:01:43,149 --> 00:01:44,251
He loves it here.
38
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:45,688
The training books say
it's important
39
00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:47,090
to keep your dog socialized.
40
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:49,094
HOMER: It's not a book park.
41
00:01:49,161 --> 00:01:50,798
And now that you're here,
I have somebody
42
00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:52,234
I can talk dogs with.
43
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,973
So, where'd you get your dog?
44
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,877
Uh, I think he came
with the house?
45
00:01:56,943 --> 00:01:58,580
Look at us, dog-talking.
46
00:01:58,681 --> 00:02:01,185
We'll meet here every morning
at 7:00 and have our own club.
47
00:02:01,285 --> 00:02:02,588
The Dog Dad Boyz.
48
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,391
I'll reach out
to logo designers.
49
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,797
HOMER:
Oh, God, somebody
get me out of this.
50
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:09,468
(growls)
51
00:02:09,535 --> 00:02:11,038
(yelps)
52
00:02:11,138 --> 00:02:12,742
Aah! Dev-Dev!
53
00:02:12,809 --> 00:02:14,679
Control your psycho, maniac.
54
00:02:14,746 --> 00:02:15,648
Bad dog dad.
55
00:02:15,715 --> 00:02:18,386
Membership
in the Dog Dad Boyz revoked.
56
00:02:18,453 --> 00:02:21,560
Oh, you saved me from
the worst kind of human--
57
00:02:21,626 --> 00:02:22,662
a dog lover.
58
00:02:22,762 --> 00:02:24,365
I love you, dog.
59
00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:26,636
Let's go get you a reward.
60
00:02:30,544 --> 00:02:33,449
Okay, wait here for two minutes
while I get your treat.
61
00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:35,153
I'm gonna open
the windows halfway
62
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:37,057
and leave the AC running.
63
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,694
(smacks)
64
00:02:39,829 --> 00:02:40,798
Hmm.
65
00:02:40,865 --> 00:02:42,969
What ice cream flavor
will make my dog feel
66
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:46,676
like the most cherished creature
in the entire universe?
67
00:02:51,686 --> 00:02:53,322
(keys jingling)
68
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,393
Hey, check it out.
69
00:02:55,493 --> 00:02:57,364
Some jerk left their
dog in the car.
70
00:02:57,431 --> 00:02:59,869
With the windows
rolled up, no less.
71
00:02:59,936 --> 00:03:02,040
- Who does that?
- Monster.
72
00:03:02,107 --> 00:03:05,581
Obviously, no chocolate,
but he does love peanut butter.
73
00:03:05,648 --> 00:03:08,152
Rum raisin is a no,
for any species.
74
00:03:08,252 --> 00:03:09,488
(indistinct chatter)
75
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:12,194
What kind of lunatic
thinks this is okay?
76
00:03:12,227 --> 00:03:15,133
Some people are
just born broken.
77
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,605
(honking horn)
78
00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:18,974
(whistling a tune)
79
00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:20,811
Puppy spoiler, coming through.
80
00:03:20,878 --> 00:03:21,813
Hey, what am I missing?
81
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,751
A churlish individual saw fit
82
00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:26,656
to desert their dog
in a hideous sedan.
83
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,128
Wait, it's not
what it looks like.
84
00:03:29,228 --> 00:03:32,000
I just left my dog
in my car on purpose.
85
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:33,536
(indistinct grumbling)
86
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:37,444
Whoa, how could you, man?
87
00:03:37,511 --> 00:03:39,916
And on a scorcher like today?
88
00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:41,485
What? It's not a...
89
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,093
Aah!
Come on boy, help me out.
90
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,164
Get the keys. Get the keys.
91
00:03:47,264 --> 00:03:50,103
You expect him to work
under these conditions?
92
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,405
No, wait.
I think Marge
93
00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:53,209
hid a key
under the car somewhere.
94
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,815
The dog-cooking wuss
is trying to hide.
95
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:58,019
MAN:
Grab his legs!
96
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:01,793
Leave me alone.
I'm good with dogs.
97
00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:06,268
He locked the Dalmatian
in the firetruck. Oh!
98
00:04:06,402 --> 00:04:09,174
- (clamoring)
- WOMAN: Gotta be kidding me!
99
00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:10,911
(cheering)
100
00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:12,648
Okay, everyone. The dog's fine.
101
00:04:12,715 --> 00:04:14,586
Why don't you all
just get a life.
102
00:04:14,652 --> 00:04:17,357
No wonder his dog
is such a psycho.
103
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,729
(huffs)
He's probably a bad parent, too.
104
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,265
How dare you?
105
00:04:21,332 --> 00:04:23,837
Dad, you forgot to pick us up.
106
00:04:23,904 --> 00:04:25,273
(all gasp)
107
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,912
(sighs) Glad that's over,
aren't we, boy?
108
00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:30,918
Uh, I'm not so sure.
109
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:33,055
♪ ♪
110
00:04:40,771 --> 00:04:43,242
MARGE:
Oh... yes.
111
00:04:43,309 --> 00:04:45,079
(sighs)
This must be
112
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:47,685
how Catholics feel
after confession.
113
00:04:47,752 --> 00:04:50,423
Now, to post some
before-and-after shots
114
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,830
so the neighbors can eat their
dirty carpet hearts out.
115
00:04:54,866 --> 00:04:55,935
Hmm?
116
00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:57,070
No. (gasps)
117
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,245
No. No...
118
00:05:01,312 --> 00:05:03,984
No!
119
00:05:05,286 --> 00:05:08,226
Okay, so far, the neighborhood
rage is contained
120
00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,528
to just dog lovers.
121
00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:12,133
Oh, no. It's spread
to the cat people.
122
00:05:12,234 --> 00:05:14,371
Oh, now it's
the horse crazies.
123
00:05:14,471 --> 00:05:17,377
Those horse crazies
don't mess around.
124
00:05:17,477 --> 00:05:21,018
Homer, you have
to apologize for yesterday.
125
00:05:21,118 --> 00:05:23,256
What? Why?
The dog and I are cool.
126
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,696
Look, we know you didn't
mean to do anything wrong.
127
00:05:26,796 --> 00:05:29,602
But sometimes you just
need to accept responsibility
128
00:05:29,669 --> 00:05:30,905
so people will move on.
129
00:05:30,971 --> 00:05:34,411
So, I drafted you
a heartfelt apology.
130
00:05:34,478 --> 00:05:35,981
That's so sweet, honey.
131
00:05:36,081 --> 00:05:38,519
But trust me, it'll blow over.
132
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,664
When God gave man dominion over
133
00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:46,335
all the beasts of the Earth,
134
00:05:46,402 --> 00:05:48,774
that was not
permission for one man
135
00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:51,312
to abandon a dog
in a hot Plymouth.
136
00:05:51,378 --> 00:05:53,149
(murmuring)
137
00:05:53,951 --> 00:05:57,725
Mm. Okay, I get it.
Everybody's mad at me.
138
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,328
(softly):
Dad, nip this in the bud
139
00:05:59,394 --> 00:06:01,600
and use my apology.
140
00:06:04,171 --> 00:06:05,306
I'm Homer Simpson,
141
00:06:05,373 --> 00:06:07,277
and I'm truly sorry.
142
00:06:07,377 --> 00:06:10,383
(chanting): Tsk, tsk, tsk!
143
00:06:11,185 --> 00:06:14,424
Sorry if you pee-pee babies
were offended by something
144
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,528
that was no big deal
and everything's fine.
145
00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:17,932
So what's the issue?
146
00:06:18,065 --> 00:06:20,804
Amazing job, you really
got his voice down.
147
00:06:20,904 --> 00:06:23,777
Okay, Homer, I think
you've made your point.
148
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:26,583
I'm sorry that you don't have
enough things to get mad at.
149
00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:28,452
I'm sorry that you all have skin
150
00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:30,490
thinner than gas station
toilet paper.
151
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,928
And I'm sorry that your
lives are so boring
152
00:06:32,995 --> 00:06:35,668
that you take a man
who left his rescue dog
153
00:06:35,768 --> 00:06:38,472
for two minutes to buy him
organic ice cream
154
00:06:38,539 --> 00:06:41,145
from a woman-owned
local business,
155
00:06:41,211 --> 00:06:43,015
and you crucify him!
156
00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:43,917
- (glass shatters)
- Ahh!
157
00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:46,856
- (Devin yelps)
- LENNY: Ow, my dog's eye!
158
00:06:47,257 --> 00:06:48,727
Mm-mm.
159
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:53,770
♪ ♪
160
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:10,771
My fellow Springfielders,
here at Burns Industries,
161
00:07:10,871 --> 00:07:13,944
we release the hounds
on all forms of disrespect,
162
00:07:14,011 --> 00:07:17,283
and to tolerance
we say, "excellent."
163
00:07:17,384 --> 00:07:19,388
As such, we have
terminated association
164
00:07:19,454 --> 00:07:21,425
with Homer J. Simpson,
as his actions
165
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,930
do not represent
the values of Evil Corps.
166
00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:26,435
Moving forward,
we plan to sit back,
167
00:07:26,569 --> 00:07:28,874
tent our fingers, and listen.
168
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:31,846
Well, Homer, on the plus side,
this has made people forget
169
00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:33,950
- you almost killed the dog.
- Oh...
170
00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:41,700
of the guy who pushed a pastor
out of a church window.
171
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:44,806
Uh-huh. And would you
classify that as a death threat
172
00:07:44,872 --> 00:07:47,545
or merely an
act of extreme violence?
173
00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:49,047
Thank you for your rage.
174
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:51,452
Hm.
175
00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:52,555
Oh, Lovejoy's fine.
176
00:07:52,688 --> 00:07:55,426
But I lost my job and now
that trolls put my photos
177
00:07:55,493 --> 00:07:56,830
and phone number
on the Internet,
178
00:07:56,896 --> 00:08:00,370
I also lost
my anonon-nim-ninim-ninity.
179
00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:02,040
There's also a bunch of TikToks
180
00:08:02,073 --> 00:08:04,244
of people lip-syncing
to what you said,
181
00:08:04,344 --> 00:08:06,014
because that's
what comedy is now.
182
00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:07,885
HOMER'S VOICE:
I'm sorry that you all have skin
183
00:08:07,952 --> 00:08:10,423
thinner than gas station
toilet paper.
184
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,797
Oh, I've never been
so viciously lampooned.
185
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:16,101
I hate this horrible new world.
186
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:19,040
What I need now
is the comfort of fast food
187
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,011
and slow friends.
188
00:08:22,347 --> 00:08:24,919
(gasping)
189
00:08:28,225 --> 00:08:30,063
(exclaims)
190
00:08:31,498 --> 00:08:33,536
Three weeks later.
191
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:36,141
ANNOUNCER:
Shrimp? Who you calling shrimp?
192
00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:37,177
It's prawn time, baby,
193
00:08:37,243 --> 00:08:39,682
at Dead Lobster's
Annual Prawn-a-thon!
194
00:08:39,816 --> 00:08:42,220
Grab your bib
for crispy popcorn prawn,
195
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,526
wood-grilled prawn skewers
sizzling prawn scampi,
196
00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:47,497
and parmesan-breaded
prawns casino
197
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:49,735
served over ice cold lump prawn.
198
00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:53,577
All washed down with a tropical
Tiki Passion Prawn-tini.
199
00:08:53,643 --> 00:08:54,846
(gasps) Guys!
200
00:08:54,879 --> 00:08:57,818
It's Prawn-a-thon time. Guys!
201
00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:00,423
They wouldn't go without me,
would they?
202
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:01,993
(whimpers, gasps)
203
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:06,335
(indistinct conversations)
204
00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:07,605
Oh my God, everybody, shut up.
205
00:09:07,671 --> 00:09:09,040
It's the pastor-pusher.
206
00:09:09,141 --> 00:09:11,078
(all gasp)
207
00:09:13,082 --> 00:09:15,453
Well, I never.
208
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,994
Why am I always meeting
people who never? Mm.
209
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:22,635
Hey, "strangers," enjoying
your entrées of embarrassment
210
00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:24,371
about being related to me?
211
00:09:26,175 --> 00:09:27,812
Don't take it personally.
212
00:09:27,878 --> 00:09:30,516
We need to be able to do
some normal family things
213
00:09:30,617 --> 00:09:32,253
without being publicly shamed.
214
00:09:32,387 --> 00:09:36,495
We just want a little
anon-mini-nanom-nini-ninity.
215
00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:38,199
But Prawn-a-thon?
216
00:09:38,299 --> 00:09:40,002
That's our special thon.
217
00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:42,474
I'm so upset
I might not ever be able
218
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,244
to get my prawn on again.
219
00:09:44,311 --> 00:09:47,685
Yikes. That has got to be
the saddest thing
220
00:09:47,751 --> 00:09:49,822
ever said in a chain
seafood restaurant.
221
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,525
It's not too late, Homer.
222
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:52,728
I'm here to help you.
223
00:09:52,795 --> 00:09:54,064
Help me?
Is this
224
00:09:54,164 --> 00:09:56,603
some kind of prank,
like when those YouTubers
225
00:09:56,669 --> 00:09:58,506
chased me with real machetes?
226
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:00,644
Wow. And no.
227
00:10:00,744 --> 00:10:02,180
I have created a refuge
228
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,752
where people like you
can find redemption.
229
00:10:04,852 --> 00:10:08,025
I run an institute.
We call it The Institute.
230
00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:09,127
(gasps)
231
00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:11,866
And it might just be
your last chance
232
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:14,004
at rehabilitating
your reputation.
233
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:17,210
Wait, wait, are you saying
you can steam clean,
234
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:18,245
if you will,
235
00:10:18,345 --> 00:10:21,385
my husband's reputational
carpet, if you will?
236
00:10:21,518 --> 00:10:24,759
I am, and I will. And I will.
237
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:26,896
The Institute is his only hope.
238
00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:30,837
Well, my reputation
is everything to me.
239
00:10:30,904 --> 00:10:33,643
That doesn't jibe
with your past behavior.
240
00:10:33,743 --> 00:10:36,616
I'm tired of reputations
being about past behavior.
241
00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:39,989
I'll do it.
Keep it safe.
242
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:50,243
Here at the Institute,
we break our rehabilitants up
243
00:10:50,309 --> 00:10:52,848
according to the severity
of their mistakes.
244
00:10:52,948 --> 00:10:55,453
HOMER:
Uh-huh. Yep.
245
00:10:55,519 --> 00:10:57,156
That makes sense.
246
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,325
Interesting.
247
00:10:58,392 --> 00:10:59,629
(chuckles)
248
00:11:00,396 --> 00:11:02,735
We don't take any Halloween
mishaps more recent than that
249
00:11:02,835 --> 00:11:05,707
because, at a certain point,
you should know better.
250
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:06,943
Totally.
251
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,445
Homer, meet your team.
252
00:11:08,512 --> 00:11:11,819
Just like you, they all went
stupid viral in a bad way.
253
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,561
First up, Helen Lovejoy,
aka "Lemonade Karen."
254
00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:16,863
Let me see your permit.
255
00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,967
Where did you steal
these lemons from?
256
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,204
I don't think you're even
from this neighborhood.
257
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:22,875
Siri, call 911.
258
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:25,881
THEO: Councilman Jed Hawk,
aka "The Toilet Rocker,"
259
00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:28,987
who always forgets to turn off
his camera and hit mute.
260
00:11:29,054 --> 00:11:31,091
♪ She was a fast machine ♪
261
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,493
♪ She kept her motor clean ♪
262
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:33,763
(scat singing)
263
00:11:33,863 --> 00:11:36,769
♪ American thighs ♪
264
00:11:36,869 --> 00:11:38,005
- Oh, no.
- (all gasp)
265
00:11:38,105 --> 00:11:41,378
THEO: Larry Doogan,
aka "Pissed-O-Shorty."
266
00:11:41,445 --> 00:11:43,182
He throws tantrums in public.
267
00:11:43,282 --> 00:11:43,984
A lot.
268
00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:46,021
Oh sure, the club's at capacity
269
00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:47,791
as soon as the short guy
shows up.
270
00:11:47,858 --> 00:11:49,829
I get it, and I'm pissed-O!
271
00:11:49,895 --> 00:11:51,966
Oh, so you don't have any
blueberry muffins left
272
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:55,139
for the short man? I'm pissed-O!
273
00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:57,277
I do... realize you only agreed
274
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,014
to spend the rest
of your life with me
275
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,020
- because I'm short, and it's pissing-me-o!
- (gasps)
276
00:12:02,086 --> 00:12:05,393
THEO: Kirk Van Houten,
aka "Juice Box Dad."
277
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:08,399
Come on, Coach Loser,
don't you want to win?
278
00:12:08,465 --> 00:12:12,240
Take... my son...
out... of the game!
279
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:14,044
(sighs)
280
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:18,085
(laughs)
Oh, yeah, I shared that.
281
00:12:18,185 --> 00:12:19,254
Juice Box Dad.
282
00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:22,527
Wait, how am I supposed
to revive my reputation
283
00:12:22,628 --> 00:12:24,097
associating with these scum?
284
00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:25,867
Watch who you're calling short.
285
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:28,606
Whoa, somebody's pissed-O.
286
00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:29,976
Siri, call 911.
287
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,480
Look, everyone,
let's just calm down.
288
00:12:32,548 --> 00:12:35,486
Or what? You'll push us
out a stained glass window?
289
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:39,260
Hey! That was just a careless
accident born out of rage.
290
00:12:39,361 --> 00:12:42,333
(all clamoring)
291
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:45,072
Are we sure we have the right
people for this team?
292
00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:47,878
They're awful.
293
00:12:47,945 --> 00:12:51,518
Which is why they're perfect
for this mission.
294
00:13:01,538 --> 00:13:03,108
Here at the Institute,
we believe
good works overcome bad days.
295
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:04,912
So, to fix your reputations,
296
00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:07,483
your team will be doing
public acts of charity.
297
00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:08,653
When we post them online,
298
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:11,425
they will make your
transgressions a distant memory.
299
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:12,527
Work together?
300
00:13:12,561 --> 00:13:15,734
Sorry, I don't exactly
play well with others.
301
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:16,769
Okay, then we'll spend the day
302
00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:19,374
doing a bunch of team-building
improv exercises.
303
00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:21,144
Good deeds! Good deeds!
304
00:13:21,979 --> 00:13:25,353
♪ I'm a fool
to do your dirty work ♪
305
00:13:25,453 --> 00:13:28,325
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
306
00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:29,862
♪ I don't wanna do ♪
307
00:13:29,929 --> 00:13:31,331
♪ Your dirty work ♪
308
00:13:31,398 --> 00:13:35,139
♪ No more ♪
309
00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:37,978
♪ I'm a fool
to do your dirty work ♪
310
00:13:38,045 --> 00:13:40,449
♪ Oh, yeah. ♪
311
00:13:40,516 --> 00:13:42,253
- (grunts)
- (laughs)
312
00:13:42,353 --> 00:13:44,859
I can feel my reputation
being restored
313
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,530
with each carefully-staged
good deed.
314
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,668
(people cackling)
315
00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:53,142
Look, it's the people
the Internet told us to hate.
316
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,446
(laughing)
317
00:13:55,513 --> 00:13:57,951
They still hate us.
The plan isn't working.
318
00:13:58,018 --> 00:14:00,189
What do we do now?
Call 911?
319
00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,160
Unfortunately,
that was the only way
320
00:14:02,226 --> 00:14:04,030
to get you your lives back.
321
00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:07,303
Well, there is one other way.
No, we can't.
322
00:14:07,336 --> 00:14:10,042
- What?
- No, it's too radical.
323
00:14:10,109 --> 00:14:13,917
Ah, but it's the only thing
that's 100% guaranteed to work.
324
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,154
Hmm, yeah, it does sound
pretty radical.
325
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,925
Thanks for being honest
about that.
326
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,829
Well, sometimes
the only way to get results
327
00:14:19,929 --> 00:14:21,298
is through radical action.
328
00:14:21,364 --> 00:14:23,502
Sorry, we took a vote.
It's too radical.
329
00:14:23,603 --> 00:14:25,306
Wh... I didn't even
tell you what it is yet.
330
00:14:25,372 --> 00:14:26,976
When you said "radical,"
you said enough.
331
00:14:27,043 --> 00:14:28,178
Bye forever.
332
00:14:28,245 --> 00:14:30,416
Look, I thought that
by calling it radical,
333
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:32,053
you'd be more likely
to want to do it.
334
00:14:32,153 --> 00:14:33,923
Like you'd be intrigued
or something.
335
00:14:34,023 --> 00:14:36,696
(gasps) Intrigued, eh?
336
00:14:36,763 --> 00:14:38,933
You are all here
at The Institute...
337
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:41,806
...because of
the humiliation you faced
338
00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:44,344
after the world
saw you on your worst day.
339
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,412
(all shudder)
340
00:14:45,446 --> 00:14:47,383
But, what if you could
delete all that
341
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,924
from every computer,
every phone, every meme,
342
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,963
and even every personal
hard drive on Earth?
343
00:14:54,063 --> 00:14:54,999
But that's impossible.
344
00:14:55,032 --> 00:14:58,272
You'd have to invent
something to do that.
345
00:14:58,338 --> 00:14:59,608
Funny you say that.
I did
346
00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:01,579
invent something to do that.
347
00:15:01,646 --> 00:15:04,217
A universal eradication code
that can completely scrub
348
00:15:04,317 --> 00:15:07,256
any image or video
from the entire Internet.
349
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,194
Scrub us.
You scrub us right now!
350
00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:11,933
Oh, I would, but first
I need to upload the code
351
00:15:11,999 --> 00:15:13,502
into the one server
powerful enough
352
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:16,374
to reach every corner
of the World Wide Web.
353
00:15:17,578 --> 00:15:18,813
ChumNet.
354
00:15:19,615 --> 00:15:21,719
You mean the company
that puts those annoying
355
00:15:21,786 --> 00:15:25,125
clickbait-y headlines
on the bottom of every website?
356
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,163
Yes, they're everywhere.
357
00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:30,236
No platform has greater reach.
358
00:15:30,302 --> 00:15:32,240
But to upload the scrub code
into their servers,
359
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:36,047
I need you to break in
to the ChumNet headquarters.
360
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:38,385
Break in?
That sounds dangerous.
361
00:15:38,418 --> 00:15:39,354
It is, Helen.
362
00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,258
That was the radical part
I mentioned earlier,
363
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,362
that didn't seem
to land with any of you.
364
00:15:43,428 --> 00:15:45,366
Radical, eh?
365
00:15:45,432 --> 00:15:47,303
Yeah, we don't have
anything to lose.
366
00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:50,309
So, we're kind of like
a suicide squad.
367
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,348
You're exactly kind of like
a suicide squad.
368
00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:54,552
What do you say?
369
00:15:54,618 --> 00:15:56,789
I think we can pull this-O.
370
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,158
I say we do it.
371
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:01,498
We need to fight for each other,
because we're a family.
372
00:16:01,566 --> 00:16:02,634
ALL: Aw.
373
00:16:02,734 --> 00:16:05,206
A family I don't want or need.
374
00:16:05,306 --> 00:16:07,878
I miss my actual family,
so let's do this.
375
00:16:07,978 --> 00:16:09,080
(all agree)
376
00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:11,351
But if we're going
on a commando mission,
377
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:13,155
don't we need
some sort of training?
378
00:16:13,255 --> 00:16:14,592
(laughs) Don't you see?
379
00:16:14,658 --> 00:16:17,263
You've already had
some sort of training.
380
00:16:17,363 --> 00:16:21,606
♪ I'm a fool
to do your dirty work ♪
381
00:16:21,706 --> 00:16:24,277
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
382
00:16:24,344 --> 00:16:28,518
♪ I don't wanna do
your dirty work ♪
383
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,590
♪ No more ♪
384
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:35,099
♪ I'm a fool
to do your dirty work. ♪
385
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:38,238
We're in.
386
00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:40,042
Okay, just stay focused
387
00:16:40,142 --> 00:16:42,046
until you find
the ChumNet server room.
388
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:43,816
What about
all the people in there?
389
00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:46,521
There are no people.
Just clickbait.
390
00:16:48,693 --> 00:16:51,599
So whatever you do,
don't stop to click on anything.
391
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,664
(snorts) Who falls
for this garbage anyway?
392
00:17:07,764 --> 00:17:10,102
- Wait, what does she look like now?
- (click)
393
00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:13,843
"80 NFL players
who live in bad houses.
394
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:15,547
Number six will shock you."
(scoffs)
395
00:17:15,647 --> 00:17:17,818
- Well, we'll see about that.
- (click)
396
00:17:17,884 --> 00:17:19,187
"One simple trick to add
397
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:20,924
- years to your height."
- (click)
398
00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:23,428
Whoa, these headlines
are so tempting.
399
00:17:27,236 --> 00:17:28,940
No!
We have to remember our goal.
400
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,282
Erasing our shame and returning
to our pre-pariah lives. (gasps)
401
00:17:33,348 --> 00:17:34,384
Oh, no.
402
00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:37,691
They're all trapped in endless
slow-loading slideshows.
403
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,127
These houses suck.
404
00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:41,666
Sucks, sucks, sucks.
405
00:17:41,732 --> 00:17:44,203
(gasps)
Number six.
406
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,174
Homer, get them out now!
407
00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:49,314
- (alarm blaring)
- (whimpering)
408
00:17:52,053 --> 00:17:53,990
I just wanted to know
which vegetable
409
00:17:54,023 --> 00:17:55,894
gut doctors are begging me
to throw out.
410
00:17:55,961 --> 00:17:59,534
It's radishes. I could have
told you it was radishes!
411
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:01,973
Find the server room, Homer,
you'll be safe there.
412
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,545
This is prawn-demonium!
413
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,450
Ooh.
414
00:18:08,686 --> 00:18:11,424
THEO:
Okay, straight ahead
is the access port.
415
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,161
Mm...
416
00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:14,598
Insert the flash drive.
417
00:18:14,665 --> 00:18:16,301
Once the scrub code
is fully uploaded,
418
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:17,904
everything will be erased,
419
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:21,044
and you will return
to a life of anon-min-mity.
420
00:18:21,111 --> 00:18:23,315
Anon-min, Amoni-mity.
421
00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:24,952
COMPUTER:
It's "anonymity."
422
00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:29,193
Preparing global Internet scrub
for the following individuals.
423
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:31,599
HOMER:
There we are.
424
00:18:32,868 --> 00:18:36,007
Wait, who are they?
I recognize these people.
425
00:18:36,107 --> 00:18:37,276
They're really terrible.
426
00:18:37,376 --> 00:18:39,915
That guy raised the price
of insulin for fun.
427
00:18:39,982 --> 00:18:41,852
I think that guy
was just president,
428
00:18:41,919 --> 00:18:43,790
and those are his kids.
429
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,225
And, oh, my God,
430
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,331
that's the football coach
that does all the cheating!
431
00:18:48,432 --> 00:18:50,570
Yes, Homer.
All evidence of their misdeeds
432
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:51,772
will be erased too.
433
00:18:51,872 --> 00:18:52,641
But that's different.
434
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,978
Those people did
actual bad stuff.
435
00:18:55,045 --> 00:18:57,116
Wow, lot of Russian generals.
436
00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,487
COMPUTER:
Upload at 60%.
437
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,757
Jeebus crackers.
438
00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:02,259
So the only way
to save myself
439
00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:04,932
is to erase the crimes
of history's current monsters?
440
00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:06,334
Oh, wise up, Homer.
441
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:08,873
Who do you think funded
this entire operation?
442
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,710
(gasps)
Scrubbing these villains
443
00:19:10,777 --> 00:19:13,115
is what The Institute
was always really about.
444
00:19:13,181 --> 00:19:14,217
What do I do?
445
00:19:14,317 --> 00:19:16,254
Wait, I never
had a handkerchief.
446
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,928
(gasps) Oh, this is the apology
Lisa wrote for me.
447
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:21,932
The upload's nearly complete.
448
00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:24,103
I can think of almost nothing
at the last minute
449
00:19:24,203 --> 00:19:25,205
that will stop us now.
450
00:19:25,339 --> 00:19:26,575
"It is with my family's support
451
00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:28,445
that I will strive
to do the right thing."
452
00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:31,117
I will strive
to do the right thing!
453
00:19:31,217 --> 00:19:33,321
Homer, listen, you don't know
what my investors
454
00:19:33,388 --> 00:19:35,827
are capable of doing to people
who don't help them cover up
455
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,363
what they're capable of doing.
456
00:19:37,463 --> 00:19:40,169
You don't know
what I'm capable of doing.
457
00:19:40,235 --> 00:19:44,277
Yoinking this doodad
out of the computer hole.
458
00:19:44,945 --> 00:19:46,181
(grunts)
459
00:19:46,247 --> 00:19:47,984
COMPUTER:
Internet scrub cancelled.
460
00:19:48,085 --> 00:19:49,755
Idiot! You ruined it!
461
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,625
No, my daughter ruined it
462
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:55,365
by writing the most genuine
and inspirational apology ever.
463
00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:57,303
You should hear it.
464
00:19:58,338 --> 00:20:00,844
I'm Homer Simpson,
and I'm truly sorry.
465
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,547
Sorry, yet also grateful
466
00:20:02,614 --> 00:20:03,816
for this opportunity...
467
00:20:03,883 --> 00:20:05,452
MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE:
In the annals of time,
468
00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:06,989
there have only been five
469
00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:08,960
truly great public apologies.
470
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:11,264
But on that day,
471
00:20:11,364 --> 00:20:13,903
the words Lisa wrote,
and Homer somehow read
472
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:15,405
to everyone in the world,
473
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,510
put those others to shame.
474
00:20:17,577 --> 00:20:19,313
It was deeply soul-searching
475
00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:21,451
and 100% effective.
476
00:20:21,518 --> 00:20:24,457
Homer was forgiven by all
477
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,096
and beloved forever.
478
00:20:27,163 --> 00:20:28,866
WOMAN:
You failed us.
479
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:32,039
We're gonna do to you
what we did to democracy:
480
00:20:32,139 --> 00:20:34,277
irreparable damage.
481
00:20:34,377 --> 00:20:36,147
The plan was too radical.
482
00:20:36,247 --> 00:20:39,320
Too radical!
No, no, no!
483
00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:40,790
Radical...
484
00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,495
Radical!
485
00:20:43,629 --> 00:20:45,633
♪ ♪
486
00:20:54,283 --> 00:20:56,555
And because of all of you,
from here forward,
I will be the best
Homer Simpson I can be.
487
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,093
There you have it--
a reminder that we could all be
488
00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:01,999
a little more understanding
of one another's humanity.
489
00:21:02,099 --> 00:21:03,268
Up next,
490
00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:06,307
dumb idiot
has heart attack on treadmill.
491
00:21:06,374 --> 00:21:09,180
Another plate of shrimp.
J. K.
492
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,215
It's prawns.
493
00:21:10,282 --> 00:21:12,687
(laughing)
494
00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:14,925
I should have listened
to you all along.
495
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,494
Yeah. Well, mostly, you just
496
00:21:16,595 --> 00:21:18,265
shouldn't have left
the dog in the car.
497
00:21:18,331 --> 00:21:20,770
Yeah, agree to disagree.
498
00:21:20,837 --> 00:21:22,874
But he and I
have an arrangement.
499
00:21:22,941 --> 00:21:25,145
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
500
00:21:25,212 --> 00:21:27,449
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
501
00:21:27,551 --> 00:21:30,222
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
502
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,825
Shh!
503
00:21:35,098 --> 00:21:37,503
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org