1
00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:10,297
Huh?

2
00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:11,867
So dope.

3
00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:13,704
Slammin' kicks.

4
00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:15,675
Is that kid wearing Slipremes?

5
00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:18,179
He totally is.

6
00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:22,154
These are my first tie-shoes.

7
00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,291
You're wearing
the new Slipreme Caliphates?

8
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,364
How did a chum-wad like you
get a pair?

9
00:00:27,431 --> 00:00:29,301
My daddy took my cat
to the cat doctor,

10
00:00:29,368 --> 00:00:31,005
and when Daddy came home,

11
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,109
my cat had turned
into these shoes.

12
00:00:33,176 --> 00:00:35,581
So Ralph got weird sneakers--
who cares?

13
00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:37,852
Uh, no one...

14
00:00:37,919 --> 00:00:39,756
except everyone.

15
00:00:39,823 --> 00:00:41,660
Those aren't just sneakers.

16
00:00:41,727 --> 00:00:43,096
They're Slipremes.

17
00:00:43,229 --> 00:00:45,735
That's Orion Hughes'
skatewear company.

18
00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:48,306
He's huge on TikTok.

19
00:00:48,406 --> 00:00:50,510
Got to say, today was crazy.

20
00:00:50,611 --> 00:00:52,114
You all know my dad,

21
00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,385
international superstar
Darius Hughes.

22
00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,823
Well, I just laid down the hook
for his new movie,

23
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,562
<i>Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop.</i>

24
00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:02,000
♪ One cop
that you just can't stop ♪

25
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:05,340
♪ 'Cause he's two cops--
one cop and a copy of a cop ♪

26
00:01:05,407 --> 00:01:08,212
♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪

27
00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:10,283
And my skatewear brand, Slipreme,

28
00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:12,220
is about to drop a new shoe,

29
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,525
the sequel to the Caliphate One.

30
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,195
The Caliphate Two.

31
00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:19,001
Limited release--
available only this Friday.

32
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,571
And Saturday,

33
00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:23,142
we explode the pop-up factory
that makes them.

34
00:01:23,242 --> 00:01:26,750
ALL
Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go!

35
00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:28,486
Go! Go! Go, popcorn!

36
00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:30,891
Go! Go! Go, popcorn!

37
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,029
No! No! No kernels!

38
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,901
No! No! No kernels!

39
00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:37,404
Hey, that's my favorite show.

40
00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:39,508
You guys have to buy me
these sneakers.

41
00:01:39,576 --> 00:01:41,412
They're all anyone
cares about at school.

42
00:01:41,479 --> 00:01:43,216
And if I don't have them,
I'm nobody.

43
00:01:43,282 --> 00:01:45,487
Well, you're somebody
in this house.

44
00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:47,725
Come on, don't lie to the boy.

45
00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,528
I've never wanted
a piece of clothing before

46
00:01:49,629 --> 00:01:51,098
in my entire life.

47
00:01:51,165 --> 00:01:52,702
Dad, with this one act,

48
00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:55,941
you can erase ten years
of second-rate parenting.

49
00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,411
I'd think about that, Homie.

50
00:01:57,477 --> 00:01:59,048
It's a pretty good offer.

51
00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:00,350
Mm?

52
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:03,423
You must really want those pants

53
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,060
or videogame.

54
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,332
Son, your father will deliver.

55
00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:14,111
Of course Orion Hughes'
new store would be

56
00:02:14,211 --> 00:02:16,950
in Springfield's
former packing peanuts district.

57
00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:19,021
This street is so cool.

58
00:02:19,088 --> 00:02:21,392
art galleries,
beard-only barbershops,

59
00:02:21,459 --> 00:02:23,396
and a weird store
that only sells

60
00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:25,668
a single action figure.

61
00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:27,471
How do they survive?

62
00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:30,811
Hmm?

63
00:02:30,878 --> 00:02:33,015
Oh, look at this line.

64
00:02:33,116 --> 00:02:34,886
Can't even see those guys.

65
00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:38,092
I'm gonna be stuck here all day
with the nose ring brigade.

66
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:42,434
In that case, I'm gonna check
out this Hasidic surfwear shop.

67
00:02:43,604 --> 00:02:46,142
Okay, Homer, you can do this--
you waited in line overnight

68
00:02:46,242 --> 00:02:48,146
for Krusty's
new fried chicken sandwich.

69
00:02:48,246 --> 00:02:51,419
And it was the best decision
of your life.

70
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,391
I will get Bart those shoes.

71
00:02:56,663 --> 00:02:58,166
Whoa!

72
00:02:58,266 --> 00:03:00,303
Whoa!

73
00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:03,009
Dad, you got 'em.

74
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:05,380
I waited through rain,
through sun,

75
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,384
through the death
of my phone battery

76
00:03:07,484 --> 00:03:10,023
from watching super-cuts
of boating accident videos,

77
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:13,564
all to see the joy on your face.

78
00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:16,903
I love you, Dad.
I finally love you.

79
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,272
And bought love

80
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:21,312
is the best kind of love.

81
00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:22,782
Wow!
I'm so pumped!

82
00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:23,984
I'm also pumped!

83
00:03:24,084 --> 00:03:26,188
Here come the sneakers!

84
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,192
Shh, shh.

85
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,132
Whoa!

86
00:03:32,802 --> 00:03:36,008
Whoa, I got to see
those babies in action.

87
00:03:38,179 --> 00:03:40,416
Hmm?

88
00:03:46,395 --> 00:03:48,299
These shoes are made from...

89
00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:52,207
- used Band-
- Aids and North Korean newspapers?

90
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,077
My dad waited in line
all day for these shoes,

91
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:55,380
and they're crap.

92
00:03:55,447 --> 00:03:58,319
I'm gonna go to that store
and get his money back.

93
00:03:58,419 --> 00:04:00,558
"Dear Leader Announces

94
00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,829
Wheat Quotas Exceeded
Yet Again."

95
00:04:10,076 --> 00:04:11,813
Ooh, a text.

96
00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,927
Returning the shoes?

97
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:20,865
But then he'll find out...

98
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:23,469
what really happened.

99
00:04:23,536 --> 00:04:26,208
So hot, no shade.

100
00:04:26,275 --> 00:04:27,645
Maybe this guy will let me sit

101
00:04:27,778 --> 00:04:30,651
under his flat-brimmed
baseball hat?

102
00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:32,688
Mm... Mm.

103
00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:34,024
Homer J. Simpsons.

104
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,397
The line-standing legend himself.

105
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,468
Hey! Mike Wegman!

106
00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:41,907
How's it clangin'?
Where's your food truck?

107
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,011
Somebody pushed it off a bridge,
but don't worry,

108
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:47,150
I had a good reason, and now
I got an even better business.

109
00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:49,254
Selling those
limited-edition sneakers.

110
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,791
You want a pair?

111
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,494
Oh, my God,
my kid's begging for these.

112
00:04:52,562 --> 00:04:53,997
How much do I owe you?

113
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,701
You owe me?

114
00:04:55,768 --> 00:04:58,372
How much do the pilgrims
owe the Statue of Liberty?

115
00:04:58,439 --> 00:05:00,578
How much does hot dog
owe a mustard?

116
00:05:00,644 --> 00:05:03,149
For you, these are on the house.

117
00:05:03,249 --> 00:05:04,986
Oh, thank you so much.

118
00:05:05,053 --> 00:05:07,992
Don't worry about it, these
aren't real Slipremes anyway.

119
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,596
What? They're fake?

120
00:05:09,662 --> 00:05:12,267
Oh, but I promised
my son the real ones.

121
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,739
Who, Bart, huh?
That bed-wetting nobody?

122
00:05:14,806 --> 00:05:17,177
He won't be able
to tell the difference.

123
00:05:17,244 --> 00:05:19,348
Kids today aren't
like you and me.

124
00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:21,953
They're dumb
because of phones or whatever.

125
00:05:22,053 --> 00:05:26,028
Hmm, and I do like
getting away with things.

126
00:05:26,061 --> 00:05:27,598
That's winner talk there.

127
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:30,370
Hey, which of you freak shows
wants to do business?

128
00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:32,675
I like your dumb hat.

129
00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:39,789
Mm? Mmm!

130
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:42,460
I got to stop Bart from
returning those fake sneakers.

131
00:05:42,527 --> 00:05:44,298
"No no no no no!"

132
00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:46,903
Thanks, Dad, it is on.

133
00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,574
Bart Simpson here,
about to clown some fools

134
00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:50,978
who sold me
some crappy sneakers.

135
00:05:51,078 --> 00:05:53,951
These shoes are trash.
I want my money back.

136
00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:56,790
Uh, real Caliphate Twos
aren't made from garbage.

137
00:05:56,856 --> 00:06:00,096
They're vegan leather made
from upcycled recycling bins.

138
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:01,900
Wait, what?

139
00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:03,436
These are fakes.

140
00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:06,275
You're trying to return
bootleg sneakers.

141
00:06:06,342 --> 00:06:08,914
You can't record me--
I'm recording you.

142
00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:10,551
What up, Shauna Nation?

143
00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,588
As always, I'm Shauna.

144
00:06:12,688 --> 00:06:15,526
Look at this idiot,
trying to return a knock-off.

145
00:06:15,594 --> 00:06:18,934
Link in my bio
to win free edible eyeshadow.

146
00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:20,270
They're not fake.

147
00:06:22,642 --> 00:06:25,848
My Dad waited in line for these
shoes and spent a lot of money.

148
00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:28,419
And Homer Simpson
would never lie to his son

149
00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:31,191
just to get out
of standing in li...

150
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,462
Oh, my God,
he bought me fake shoes.

151
00:06:33,529 --> 00:06:35,233
Bart, don't return the shoes!

152
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,235
This is just a dream.

153
00:06:36,302 --> 00:06:38,172
Wake up, Bart. Wake up.

154
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:39,776
How could you?

155
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,145
I will never be more embarrassed

156
00:06:41,211 --> 00:06:43,516
than I am right now.

157
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,092
We have underpants.

158
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:50,631
You've ruined me!

159
00:06:50,731 --> 00:06:52,500
Please like and subscribe.

160
00:06:56,943 --> 00:06:59,549
Stupid Homer.
Turned me into a GIF.

161
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,555
Oh, man.

162
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,395
You're even a dance.
It's called

163
00:07:06,495 --> 00:07:08,265
the "Pants Kid Shimmy."

164
00:07:08,332 --> 00:07:10,336
It's everywhere!

165
00:07:10,403 --> 00:07:12,507
♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪

166
00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:15,046
♪ Pants Kid
Shimmy ♪

167
00:07:15,113 --> 00:07:17,417
♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪

168
00:07:17,484 --> 00:07:19,187
♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪

169
00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:21,458
So fun!

170
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,697
Son, I got you
this apology card.

171
00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:26,068
The duck, you know,
on the front, he thinks

172
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:29,374
what I did was "quackers,"
and maybe he's right.

173
00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,078
Don't ever talk to me again!

174
00:07:31,178 --> 00:07:33,015
What was I thinking, trusting
you to help me look cool?

175
00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,420
You're the least cool person
who ever lived.

176
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,357
But that includes Urkel.

177
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,461
You're bald.
You own a bowling ball.

178
00:07:39,562 --> 00:07:41,465
You own truck nuts but no truck.

179
00:07:41,566 --> 00:07:44,104
You've seen Tim Allen's standup
multiple times.

180
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:45,674
You still have a CD tower.

181
00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:47,043
And each one your three kids

182
00:07:47,110 --> 00:07:48,647
is embarrassed by you
in a different way.

183
00:07:48,714 --> 00:07:50,516
Mm.

184
00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:52,420
You were born uncool

185
00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:54,391
and every day for four decades,

186
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,663
you've gotten less cool.

187
00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:00,904
I know I'm not exactly
Stefan Urquelle,

188
00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:04,044
but didn't you ever think
your old man was a little cool?

189
00:08:04,111 --> 00:08:06,616
Never. Not one bit.

190
00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:14,131
I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for Bart Simpson.

191
00:08:14,197 --> 00:08:15,466
Orion Hughes!

192
00:08:15,533 --> 00:08:18,038
I found your critically-maligned
book of poetry

193
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:20,276
to be weirdly moving.

194
00:08:20,343 --> 00:08:23,583
Yeah, I thought poetry
would be hard, but it wasn't.

195
00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:25,687
I know you. You're the voice

196
00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:27,558
of the urban squid
from the live-action

197
00:08:27,658 --> 00:08:29,327
<i>Finding Nemo.</i>

198
00:08:30,396 --> 00:08:32,300
Bart, I wanted to apologize

199
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:34,337
for the way
my employees shamed you.

200
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,707
You heard about that?

201
00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:38,279
Ooh, I saw that dance

202
00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,784
on Ellen today.

203
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:43,590
You didn't know
the shoes were fake.

204
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,226
To make up
for your global humiliation,

205
00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:47,932
I brought your family
some free Slipreme skatewear.

206
00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:54,679
Whoa, new skateboards!

207
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,189
Grab a board,
show me what you got.

208
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,127
Uh, I'd love to, of course.

209
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,932
But the thing is,
I have a deal with Slim Jim.

210
00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:08,740
I can't skate unless I'm holding
a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister.

211
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,543
Come on,
just ollie off the curb.

212
00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,615
Ollie?
Oh, yeah, that's the move

213
00:09:12,715 --> 00:09:14,518
where you throw it, right?

214
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:20,396
You own a skatewear company
and you don't know how to skate?

215
00:09:22,568 --> 00:09:24,037
Please don't tell anyone.

216
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:25,741
Hey, dude, no worries.

217
00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:27,912
You know what?
I can teach you to skate.

218
00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:29,916
But what if I'm not
instantly amazing at it?

219
00:09:29,982 --> 00:09:32,220
I've heard that can happen.

220
00:09:33,022 --> 00:09:35,226
Okay, feet on the board,
bend your knees,

221
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,696
find your center...

222
00:09:39,034 --> 00:09:40,871
I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic.

223
00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:43,142
No one's ever been this real.

224
00:09:43,242 --> 00:09:45,179
Don't fall down!

225
00:09:45,246 --> 00:09:46,883
What's "falling down"?

226
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:53,563
That's-that's my blood.

227
00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:55,366
I've never seen it before.

228
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,437
So cool. Let's go again.

229
00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:02,681
Can you pass the guacamole,
#GuacAttack?

230
00:10:02,815 --> 00:10:04,585
♪NewChipsOnTheGuac?

231
00:10:04,652 --> 00:10:06,756
You're hashtagging a lot lately.

232
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,461
So Bart called you uncool,
big deal.

233
00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:11,566
Chasing after coolness
is futile,

234
00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:13,369
because the definition
is both arbitrary

235
00:10:13,435 --> 00:10:15,273
and constantly changing.

236
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,410
Mm, still want to be it.

237
00:10:19,582 --> 00:10:21,886
With hard shell tacos,
you've got to bite them

238
00:10:21,953 --> 00:10:24,191
from the bottom, like this.

239
00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:27,397
Why?!

240
00:10:27,463 --> 00:10:30,403
Why do I keep buying
hard shells?

241
00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:32,473
I hate them!

242
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,477
Uh, I'm going to Moe's.

243
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,816
At least put on a clean shirt.

244
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,321
Hmm. Mm.

245
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,891
Mm. Hmm.

246
00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:45,801
Homer.

247
00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:47,403
Check it out-- I'm selling

248
00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:49,274
premium Wagyu-style steaks.

249
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:51,211
The 72-month subscription plan--

250
00:10:51,278 --> 00:10:53,683
it comes with a genuine
landline phone.

251
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,355
I'm too depressed to figure out
what you're saying.

252
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,359
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

253
00:10:58,459 --> 00:11:00,196
That's a Slipreme hoodie.

254
00:11:00,296 --> 00:11:03,803
And that ain't even a knock-off
like these donkey steaks.

255
00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:05,941
I got to post this.

256
00:11:06,008 --> 00:11:08,713
Whoa, someone posted
a picture of me,

257
00:11:08,813 --> 00:11:11,351
and it it's not
for falling down an escalator

258
00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,322
or yelling at a parking meter.

259
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:14,926
Which means I must be...

260
00:11:15,026 --> 00:11:17,865
Cool. Yes, you are now cool.

261
00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:19,969
I've been liked.

262
00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:21,906
Someone enjoyed looking at me.

263
00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:24,946
Finally, I know
how it feels to be stylish.

264
00:11:25,046 --> 00:11:26,749
To be loved for my appearance

265
00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,787
instead of judged
for my actions.

266
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:31,358
This is why people

267
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,295
own more than one outfit.

268
00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:36,134
Thank you, Mike Wegman!

269
00:11:37,771 --> 00:11:40,543
540 flip straight onto your ear.

270
00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:41,980
Oh.

271
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:43,048
Legendary!

272
00:11:43,148 --> 00:11:44,952
Am I still slurring my's words?

273
00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:47,290
Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable.

274
00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:49,729
Having a movie star dad,
I don't really get

275
00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,298
to hang out with regular kids.

276
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:53,035
With you I can relax,
you know, without having

277
00:11:53,135 --> 00:11:55,439
to redefine our generation's
notion of relaxation.

278
00:11:55,539 --> 00:11:57,043
I guess I envy you.

279
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:59,715
Isn't that something
rich people say to poor people

280
00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:02,320
so that they feel less guilty
about being rich?

281
00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:05,259
Yes, but for the first time,
I mean it.

282
00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:07,765
You helped me bleed.
Maybe I can help you.

283
00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:10,136
What if we design
a new sneaker together?

284
00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:12,206
A sneaker that
all my friends will buy?

285
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:15,079
No, a sneaker that all
your friends will want to buy,

286
00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:18,052
but can't, because we won't
make enough of them.

287
00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:20,323
That's even better.

288
00:12:20,389 --> 00:12:22,193
Huh?

289
00:12:23,395 --> 00:12:24,966
What the hell are you wearing?

290
00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:27,905
I know what it is--
a hobo was murdered at a rave,

291
00:12:27,972 --> 00:12:30,944
and Homer's going undercover
to find the killer.

292
00:12:31,044 --> 00:12:33,282
Nah, nah, nah,
he drove a motorcycle

293
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,589
through the clothesline
of a bi-curious farmer.

294
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,027
I was once like you.

295
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,666
Wearing clothes
I bought at the gas station

296
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,435
or found at the beach.

297
00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:46,375
But I've learned something--
when you wear crazy clothes

298
00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:49,514
you don't understand,
you're not you anymore.

299
00:12:49,582 --> 00:12:51,686
You're someone better.

300
00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:53,590
Oh, my God.

301
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,894
I'm beautiful.

302
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,679
Hey.

303
00:13:04,745 --> 00:13:07,316
Well, look at me--
I'm a real Hep Cat.

304
00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:11,491
And not just because
I got Hep C, A and T.

305
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,429
Which, I-I do got those.

306
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:17,136
We must tell all middle-aged men
that they need not grow old.

307
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,942
Where do the graying masses
gather to worship?

308
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:22,246
♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪

309
00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:25,019
♪ To get a verse from me,
you gotta be initiated ♪

310
00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:28,125
♪ To get a purse from me,
she gotta be sophisticated ♪

311
00:13:28,192 --> 00:13:31,331
♪ Purchase a whip from me and
never miss a single payment ♪

312
00:13:31,398 --> 00:13:34,337
♪ You wanna be the hottest
but that can get complicated. ♪

313
00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:36,241
Bart, together
we'll design a sneaker

314
00:13:36,308 --> 00:13:39,280
that'll change
sneaker culture forever.

315
00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:41,184
Which, in this business,
is one week.

316
00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:07,638
The Bartman One.

317
00:14:07,738 --> 00:14:10,309
My life has mattered.

318
00:14:10,409 --> 00:14:13,215
Yeah, and it comes
with a sticker in the box.

319
00:14:13,315 --> 00:14:15,386
The release party
is Saturday night.

320
00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:17,090
It's gonna be perfect.

321
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,360
The right music,
the right influencers,

322
00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:21,465
and every single person there
will be young,

323
00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:23,402
cool and beautiful.

324
00:14:23,502 --> 00:14:26,208
Excuse me,
do you have this in a large?

325
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,078
You're buying that for yourself?

326
00:14:28,178 --> 00:14:30,382
But old people don't
know about my clothes.

327
00:14:30,516 --> 00:14:32,186
Unless...

328
00:14:32,253 --> 00:14:33,823
Oh, no.

329
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:34,925
They're here.

330
00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,863
The middle-aged.

331
00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:38,566
The uncool!

332
00:14:46,616 --> 00:14:47,918
This is a nightmare.

333
00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:50,757
My brand's been
discovered by dads.

334
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,295
I'm wearing this to da club.

335
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:54,999
Da bridge club.

336
00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:56,836
It's like Ed Hardy
all over again.

337
00:14:56,903 --> 00:14:59,007
Who the heck is Ed Hardy?

338
00:14:59,073 --> 00:15:02,113
Ed Hardy was
a California tattoo artist

339
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,150
<i>whose unique designs
were the epitome of cool.</i>

340
00:15:04,217 --> 00:15:05,887
<i>But then, one terrible day,</i>

341
00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:08,492
<i>a newly-divorced dad
wanted to seem younger</i>

342
00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:09,862
<i>on his dating profile.</i>

343
00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:11,666
<i>He bought
a sleeveless tee in XXL</i>

344
00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:13,402
<i>and then posted the picture.</i>

345
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,539
<i>Young people saw
old people wearing the brand,</i>

346
00:15:15,607 --> 00:15:17,945
<i>and weeks later,
a $700 million empire</i>

347
00:15:18,011 --> 00:15:19,615
<i>was sold for scrap.</i>

348
00:15:20,917 --> 00:15:22,855
Stupid old losers.

349
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,292
Slipreme's gonna die.
What do I do?!

350
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,330
I don't know,
but we can think of something.

351
00:15:27,396 --> 00:15:30,302
We're two of the coolest kids
in the world, right?

352
00:15:30,369 --> 00:15:32,608
So cool. You've even
got your own sneaker.

353
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,177
That's cool, isn't it?

354
00:15:34,277 --> 00:15:36,081
I don't even know anymore.

355
00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:38,252
Hey, Bart, thank your old man

356
00:15:38,352 --> 00:15:41,091
for introducing me
to the look of the street.

357
00:15:41,124 --> 00:15:44,965
Wait, Homer's the reason you're
all wearing these clothes?

358
00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,702
You know it.

359
00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:48,706
If my dad started this,

360
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,409
maybe he can stop it.

361
00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,948
Yes, can I pay
for this paisley tracksuit

362
00:15:53,015 --> 00:15:55,252
with airline miles?

363
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,662
Ooh. Ee. Ooh.

364
00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:01,899
Drop the selfie stick now.

365
00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:03,736
What about my Lookbook?

366
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,609
Stop dressing
your zombie friends up

367
00:16:06,676 --> 00:16:07,978
in the clothes of the living.

368
00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:10,482
Never!
Before I discovered streetwear,

369
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,988
people-- like my son--

370
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,526
treated me
like a dried-up old husk.

371
00:16:15,594 --> 00:16:18,031
Well, you know what I am now?
A wet husk.

372
00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:21,204
Full of juicy corn.
Mmm, corn, Bart.

373
00:16:21,304 --> 00:16:24,678
You hear me? Mmm, corn.

374
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:27,049
Orion and I made
something amazing together,

375
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:28,887
and you're ruining it.

376
00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:30,690
Too bad.

377
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,330
'Cause we're all going
to your sneaker release party.

378
00:16:35,366 --> 00:16:37,203
Just because they RSVP'd,

379
00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:39,507
doesn't mean
they're actually coming.

380
00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:41,612
Wrong. My generation

381
00:16:41,712 --> 00:16:43,783
shows up to things.

382
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,431
This is horrible. My Dad
told all his loser friends

383
00:16:51,531 --> 00:16:53,068
about this party.

384
00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:55,974
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

385
00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:57,978
Aah! It's my dad.

386
00:16:58,045 --> 00:16:59,815
Act like everything's fine.

387
00:16:59,915 --> 00:17:01,852
Son, I've never seen your aura

388
00:17:01,919 --> 00:17:03,990
looking less indigo.
Are you okay?

389
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,127
Nothing-nothing's wrong.
I'm crushing it.

390
00:17:06,227 --> 00:17:09,033
I got this on lock. On lock.

391
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,037
Your words have convinced me.

392
00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,108
The washed-up dads
are gonna be here soon.

393
00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,312
I read about it in
- <i>The Old-
- Timers Gazette:</i>

394
00:17:15,412 --> 00:17:16,916
Facebook.

395
00:17:16,949 --> 00:17:18,218
I can't handle this.

396
00:17:18,318 --> 00:17:20,824
And my therapist
is pitching his sitcom today.

397
00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:23,563
Which I'm producing.

398
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:27,103
You said if I ever needed you,
you'd come.

399
00:17:27,236 --> 00:17:29,975
No matter what.
This is that call.

400
00:17:30,075 --> 00:17:33,750
Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you
some mini carrots and hummus?

401
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:35,553
Yes.

402
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,662
Listen up, people.

403
00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:42,099
For the first time
in your horrible lives,

404
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:45,039
you are not the lamest losers
in the world.

405
00:17:47,176 --> 00:17:49,447
So if any young person
asks you what you do,

406
00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:53,388
say, "Virtual marketing
for a CBD massage oil startup."

407
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:56,696
Now everyone take
two precautionary Advil

408
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:58,800
and let's live forever!

409
00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:01,304
Homer, stop it!

410
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,243
Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak.

411
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:07,049
Homer, this isn't who you are.

412
00:18:07,149 --> 00:18:10,022
You're right--
it's better than who I am.

413
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,828
This is the man I married.

414
00:18:12,894 --> 00:18:15,065
You call all deli meats baloney.

415
00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:16,869
You carry clippers
on your key chain

416
00:18:16,936 --> 00:18:19,875
so you can cut your nails
in line at the post office.

417
00:18:19,942 --> 00:18:22,714
You spent your stimulus check
on funny bumper stickers

418
00:18:22,781 --> 00:18:25,252
about what you spent your
stimulus check on.

419
00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:27,323
And since the day
I first saw you

420
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:29,460
moonwalk out of an Arby's,

421
00:18:29,595 --> 00:18:32,099
you've been comfortable
in your own skin.

422
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,370
Until now.

423
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,145
I look...

424
00:18:38,211 --> 00:18:40,115
ridiculous!

425
00:18:40,182 --> 00:18:42,821
I shouldn't be
at a sneaker release party.

426
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,090
I should be at home.

427
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,597
Making microwave popcorn.

428
00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:50,269
My favorite show.

429
00:18:50,369 --> 00:18:52,607
We don't belong here.

430
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,210
Men our age

431
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:56,716
belong in here.

432
00:18:58,018 --> 00:19:00,456
The Museum of Aviation History.

433
00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:05,232
Oh.

434
00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:07,871
The cross section
of a real B-52.

435
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:11,779
An IMAX movie about
the golden age of ballooning.

436
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,519
Audio tour by Gary Sinise.

437
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:18,458
It worked.
They took the dad-bait.

438
00:19:20,062 --> 00:19:21,398
Dad.

439
00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:24,872
You did something no old person
is remotely capable of.

440
00:19:24,905 --> 00:19:26,976
You changed your mind.

441
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:29,080
I'm sorry
I almost ruined everything

442
00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:31,084
for you and your friend.

443
00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,255
I have no business
wearing skatewear.

444
00:19:33,321 --> 00:19:35,526
I don't even like to ice skate.

445
00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:37,496
Oh.

446
00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:40,235
I never got a pair of my own
shoes, and now they're sold out.

447
00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:43,810
Yo, style freaks.
I got counterfeit Bart Ones.

448
00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:45,512
Genuine knockoffs.

449
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,349
Your dumb friends
can't tell the difference

450
00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:49,888
unless you wear 'em
or you look at 'em close.

451
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:59,107
Thanks, Dad. Sometimes
you are a little bit cool.

452
00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:02,012
Aw.
Buy you a chicken sandwich?

453
00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:23,221
Dad, tonight was a close call.

454
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,792
This party was almost not
a cultural gamechanger.

455
00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:27,029
I hope you're not
disappointed in me.

456
00:20:27,096 --> 00:20:29,033
Oh, you can never let me down,

457
00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,171
because I know
exactly how you feel.

458
00:20:31,237 --> 00:20:32,908
Because you're me.

459
00:20:33,008 --> 00:20:34,711
No, Dad. I'm not you.

460
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,247
And I'll never be you.

461
00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:38,653
You're not
hearing what I'm saying.

462
00:20:38,753 --> 00:20:40,022
You're me.

463
00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:42,460
A clone of me.
Like this

464
00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:46,735
You were created on the set
of Duplicate Cop One,

465
00:20:46,802 --> 00:20:49,608
<i>which we filmed
in a real cloning lab.</i>

466
00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:53,950
<i>I knew I could never
love a child</i>

467
00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:57,691
<i>as much as I love myself,
so I made another me:</i>

468
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,559
<i>you.</i>

469
00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:01,464
But how... But I... But...
What?

470
00:21:01,498 --> 00:21:03,736
Didn't you ever wonder
why you don't have a mother?

471
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:06,876
- Kind of.
- Orion, our cosmic connection

472
00:21:06,942 --> 00:21:08,211
is infinitely deeper

473
00:21:08,311 --> 00:21:10,315
than what a "father"
feels for a "son."

474
00:21:10,415 --> 00:21:12,419
I love you, me.

475
00:21:12,486 --> 00:21:15,192
I love you, too... me.

476
00:21:15,225 --> 00:21:16,327
Mm.

477
00:21:16,427 --> 00:21:20,035
♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪

478
00:21:20,102 --> 00:21:23,241
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

479
00:21:23,308 --> 00:21:26,247
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

480
00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:29,053
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.

481
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,124
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

482
00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:33,563
Shh.