1 00:00:02,916 --> 00:00:04,719 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:05,855 --> 00:00:08,126 (humming a tune) 3 00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:10,297 - (indistinct chatter) - Huh? 4 00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:11,867 So dope. 5 00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:13,704 Slammin' kicks. 6 00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:15,675 Is that kid wearing Slipremes? 7 00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:18,179 He totally is. 8 00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:22,154 These are my first tie-shoes. 9 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,291 You're wearing the new Slipreme Caliphates? 10 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,364 How did a chum-wad like you get a pair? 11 00:00:27,431 --> 00:00:29,301 My daddy took my cat to the cat doctor, 12 00:00:29,368 --> 00:00:31,005 and when Daddy came home, 13 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,109 my cat had turned into these shoes. 14 00:00:33,176 --> 00:00:35,581 So Ralph got weird sneakers-- who cares? 15 00:00:35,681 --> 00:00:37,852 Uh, no one... 16 00:00:37,919 --> 00:00:39,756 except everyone. 17 00:00:39,823 --> 00:00:41,660 Those aren't just sneakers. 18 00:00:41,727 --> 00:00:43,096 They're Slipremes. 19 00:00:43,229 --> 00:00:45,735 That's Orion Hughes' skatewear company. 20 00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:48,306 He's huge on TikTok. 21 00:00:48,406 --> 00:00:50,510 Got to say, today was crazy. 22 00:00:50,611 --> 00:00:52,114 You all know my dad, 23 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,385 international superstar Darius Hughes. 24 00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,823 Well, I just laid down the hook for his new movie, 25 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,562 Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop. 26 00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:02,000 (laughs) ♪ One cop that you just can't stop ♪ 27 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:05,340 ♪ 'Cause he's two cops-- one cop and a copy of a cop ♪ 28 00:01:05,407 --> 00:01:08,212 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 29 00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:10,283 And my skatewear brand, Slipreme, 30 00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:12,220 is about to drop a new shoe, 31 00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,525 the sequel to the Caliphate One. 32 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,195 The Caliphate Two. 33 00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:19,001 Limited release-- available only this Friday. 34 00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,571 (laughs) And Saturday, 35 00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:23,142 we explode the pop-up factory that makes them. 36 00:01:23,242 --> 00:01:26,750 ALL (chanting): Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go! 37 00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:28,486 Go! Go! Go, popcorn! 38 00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:30,891 - Go! Go! Go, popcorn! - (gasps) 39 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,029 BOTH: No! No! No kernels! 40 00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,901 No! No! No kernels! 41 00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:37,404 Hey, that's my favorite show. 42 00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:39,508 You guys have to buy me these sneakers. 43 00:01:39,576 --> 00:01:41,412 They're all anyone cares about at school. 44 00:01:41,479 --> 00:01:43,216 And if I don't have them, I'm nobody. 45 00:01:43,282 --> 00:01:45,487 Well, you're somebody in this house. 46 00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:47,725 Come on, don't lie to the boy. 47 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,528 I've never wanted a piece of clothing before 48 00:01:49,629 --> 00:01:51,098 in my entire life. 49 00:01:51,165 --> 00:01:52,702 Dad, with this one act, 50 00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:55,941 you can erase ten years of second-rate parenting. 51 00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,411 I'd think about that, Homie. 52 00:01:57,477 --> 00:01:59,048 It's a pretty good offer. 53 00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:00,350 Mm? 54 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:03,423 You must really want those pants 55 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,060 or videogame. 56 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,332 Son, your father will deliver. 57 00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:14,111 Of course Orion Hughes' new store would be 58 00:02:14,211 --> 00:02:16,950 in Springfield's former packing peanuts district. 59 00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:19,021 This street is so cool. 60 00:02:19,088 --> 00:02:21,392 art galleries, beard-only barbershops, 61 00:02:21,459 --> 00:02:23,396 and a weird store that only sells 62 00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:25,668 a single action figure. 63 00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:27,471 How do they survive? 64 00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:30,811 Hmm? 65 00:02:30,878 --> 00:02:33,015 Oh, look at this line. 66 00:02:33,116 --> 00:02:34,886 Can't even see those guys. 67 00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:38,092 I'm gonna be stuck here all day with the nose ring brigade. 68 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:42,434 In that case, I'm gonna check out this Hasidic surfwear shop. 69 00:02:43,604 --> 00:02:46,142 Okay, Homer, you can do this-- you waited in line overnight 70 00:02:46,242 --> 00:02:48,146 for Krusty's new fried chicken sandwich. 71 00:02:48,246 --> 00:02:51,419 And it was the best decision of your life. 72 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,391 I will get Bart those shoes. 73 00:02:56,663 --> 00:02:58,166 Whoa! 74 00:02:58,266 --> 00:03:00,303 (gasps) Whoa! 75 00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:03,009 Dad, you got 'em. 76 00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:05,380 I waited through rain, through sun, 77 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,384 through the death of my phone battery 78 00:03:07,484 --> 00:03:10,023 from watching super-cuts of boating accident videos, 79 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:13,564 all to see the joy on your face. 80 00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:16,903 I love you, Dad. I finally love you. 81 00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,272 And bought love 82 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:21,312 is the best kind of love. 83 00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:22,782 - JIMBO: Wow! - NELSON: I'm so pumped! 84 00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:23,984 DOLPH: I'm also pumped! 85 00:03:24,084 --> 00:03:26,188 Here come the sneakers! 86 00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,192 KID: Shh, shh. 87 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,132 ALL: Whoa! (hushed clamoring) 88 00:03:31,265 --> 00:03:32,735 (both screaming) 89 00:03:32,802 --> 00:03:36,008 Whoa, I got to see those babies in action. 90 00:03:36,142 --> 00:03:38,112 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:38,179 --> 00:03:40,416 (grunts) Hmm? 92 00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:44,324 (grunts) 93 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,328 (all gasp) 94 00:03:46,395 --> 00:03:48,299 These shoes are made from... 95 00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:52,207 - used Band- - Aids and North Korean newspapers? 96 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,077 My dad waited in line all day for these shoes, 97 00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:55,380 and they're crap. 98 00:03:55,447 --> 00:03:58,319 I'm gonna go to that store and get his money back. 99 00:03:58,419 --> 00:04:00,558 (gasps) "Dear Leader Announces 100 00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,829 Wheat Quotas Exceeded Yet Again." 101 00:04:02,929 --> 00:04:04,933 (all cheering) 102 00:04:06,302 --> 00:04:08,740 (snoring) 103 00:04:08,807 --> 00:04:10,009 (phone chimes) 104 00:04:10,076 --> 00:04:11,813 Ooh, a text. 105 00:04:11,847 --> 00:04:13,851 (imitates powering down) 106 00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:16,422 (Bart reading) 107 00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,927 Returning the shoes? 108 00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:20,865 But then he'll find out... 109 00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:23,469 what really happened. 110 00:04:23,536 --> 00:04:26,208 So hot, no shade. 111 00:04:26,275 --> 00:04:27,645 Maybe this guy will let me sit 112 00:04:27,778 --> 00:04:30,651 under his flat-brimmed baseball hat? 113 00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:32,688 Mm... Mm. 114 00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:34,024 Homer J. Simpsons. 115 00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,397 The line-standing legend himself. 116 00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,468 Hey! Mike Wegman! 117 00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:41,907 How's it clangin'? Where's your food truck? 118 00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,011 Somebody pushed it off a bridge, but don't worry, 119 00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:47,150 I had a good reason, and now I got an even better business. 120 00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:49,254 Selling those limited-edition sneakers. 121 00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,791 You want a pair? 122 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,494 Oh, my God, my kid's begging for these. 123 00:04:52,562 --> 00:04:53,997 How much do I owe you? 124 00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,701 You owe me? 125 00:04:55,768 --> 00:04:58,372 How much do the pilgrims owe the Statue of Liberty? 126 00:04:58,439 --> 00:05:00,578 How much does hot dog owe a mustard? 127 00:05:00,644 --> 00:05:03,149 For you, these are on the house. 128 00:05:03,249 --> 00:05:04,986 Oh, thank you so much. 129 00:05:05,053 --> 00:05:07,992 Don't worry about it, these aren't real Slipremes anyway. 130 00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,596 What? They're fake? 131 00:05:09,662 --> 00:05:12,267 Oh, but I promised my son the real ones. 132 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,739 Who, Bart, huh? That bed-wetting nobody? 133 00:05:14,806 --> 00:05:17,177 He won't be able to tell the difference. 134 00:05:17,244 --> 00:05:19,348 Kids today aren't like you and me. 135 00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:21,953 They're dumb because of phones or whatever. 136 00:05:22,053 --> 00:05:26,028 Hmm, and I do like getting away with things. 137 00:05:26,061 --> 00:05:27,598 That's winner talk there. 138 00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:30,370 Hey, which of you freak shows wants to do business? 139 00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:32,675 I like your dumb hat. 140 00:05:33,877 --> 00:05:35,848 (humming a tune) 141 00:05:36,783 --> 00:05:37,985 (grunts) 142 00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:39,789 Mm? Mmm! 143 00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:42,460 I got to stop Bart from returning those fake sneakers. 144 00:05:42,527 --> 00:05:44,298 "No no no no no!" 145 00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:46,903 - (phone chimes) - Thanks, Dad, it is on. 146 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,574 Bart Simpson here, about to clown some fools 147 00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:50,978 who sold me some crappy sneakers. 148 00:05:51,078 --> 00:05:53,951 These shoes are trash. I want my money back. 149 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:56,790 Uh, real Caliphate Twos aren't made from garbage. 150 00:05:56,856 --> 00:06:00,096 They're vegan leather made from upcycled recycling bins. 151 00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:01,900 BART: Wait, what? 152 00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:03,436 These are fakes. 153 00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:06,275 You're trying to return bootleg sneakers. 154 00:06:06,342 --> 00:06:08,914 You can't record me-- I'm recording you. 155 00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:10,551 What up, Shauna Nation? 156 00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,588 As always, I'm Shauna. 157 00:06:12,688 --> 00:06:15,526 (scoffs) Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off. 158 00:06:15,594 --> 00:06:18,934 Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow. 159 00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:20,270 They're not fake. 160 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,575 (laughing) 161 00:06:22,642 --> 00:06:25,848 My Dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money. 162 00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:28,419 And Homer Simpson would never lie to his son 163 00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:31,191 just to get out of standing in li... (gasps) 164 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,462 Oh, my God, he bought me fake shoes. 165 00:06:33,529 --> 00:06:35,233 Bart, don't return the shoes! 166 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,235 This is just a dream. 167 00:06:36,302 --> 00:06:38,172 - Wake up, Bart. Wake up. - (grunts) 168 00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:39,776 How could you? 169 00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,145 I will never be more embarrassed 170 00:06:41,211 --> 00:06:43,516 than I am right now. 171 00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:45,420 (all gasp) 172 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,092 We have underpants. 173 00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:50,631 You've ruined me! 174 00:06:50,731 --> 00:06:52,500 ALL: Please like and subscribe. 175 00:06:56,943 --> 00:06:59,549 Stupid Homer. Turned me into a GIF. 176 00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,555 Oh, man. 177 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,395 You're even a dance. It's called 178 00:07:06,495 --> 00:07:08,265 the "Pants Kid Shimmy." 179 00:07:08,332 --> 00:07:10,336 It's everywhere! 180 00:07:10,403 --> 00:07:12,507 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 181 00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:15,046 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 182 00:07:15,113 --> 00:07:17,417 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 183 00:07:17,484 --> 00:07:19,187 ♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪ 184 00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:21,458 So fun! (laughs) 185 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,697 Son, I got you this apology card. 186 00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:26,068 The duck, you know, on the front, he thinks 187 00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:29,374 what I did was "quackers," and maybe he's right. 188 00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,078 Don't ever talk to me again! 189 00:07:31,178 --> 00:07:33,015 What was I thinking, trusting you to help me look cool? 190 00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,420 You're the least cool person who ever lived. 191 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,357 (gasps) But that includes Urkel. 192 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,461 You're bald. You own a bowling ball. 193 00:07:39,562 --> 00:07:41,465 You own truck nuts but no truck. 194 00:07:41,566 --> 00:07:44,104 You've seen Tim Allen's standup multiple times. 195 00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:45,674 You still have a CD tower. 196 00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:47,043 And each one your three kids 197 00:07:47,110 --> 00:07:48,647 is embarrassed by you in a different way. 198 00:07:48,714 --> 00:07:50,516 - (Homer whimpers) - Mm. 199 00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:52,420 You were born uncool 200 00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:54,391 and every day for four decades, 201 00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,663 you've gotten less cool. 202 00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:00,904 I know I'm not exactly Stefan Urquelle, 203 00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:04,044 but didn't you ever think your old man was a little cool? 204 00:08:04,111 --> 00:08:06,616 Never. Not one bit. 205 00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:09,121 (whimpers, sniffles) 206 00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:10,924 (doorbell rings) 207 00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:14,131 I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Bart Simpson. 208 00:08:14,197 --> 00:08:15,466 Orion Hughes! 209 00:08:15,533 --> 00:08:18,038 I found your critically-maligned book of poetry 210 00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:20,276 to be weirdly moving. 211 00:08:20,343 --> 00:08:23,583 Yeah, I thought poetry would be hard, but it wasn't. 212 00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:25,687 I know you. You're the voice 213 00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:27,558 of the urban squid from the live-action 214 00:08:27,658 --> 00:08:29,327 Finding Nemo. 215 00:08:29,394 --> 00:08:30,329 (gasps) 216 00:08:30,396 --> 00:08:32,300 Bart, I wanted to apologize 217 00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:34,337 for the way my employees shamed you. 218 00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,707 You heard about that? 219 00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:38,279 - (humming a tune) - Ooh, I saw that dance 220 00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,784 on Ellen today. 221 00:08:40,884 --> 00:08:41,953 (moans) 222 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:43,590 You didn't know the shoes were fake. 223 00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,226 To make up for your global humiliation, 224 00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:47,932 I brought your family some free Slipreme skatewear. 225 00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:54,679 Whoa, new skateboards! 226 00:08:55,446 --> 00:08:57,050 (grunts) 227 00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,189 Grab a board, show me what you got. 228 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,127 Uh, I'd love to, of course. 229 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,932 But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim. 230 00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:08,740 I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister. 231 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,543 Come on, just ollie off the curb. 232 00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,615 Ollie? Oh, yeah, that's the move 233 00:09:12,715 --> 00:09:14,518 where you throw it, right? 234 00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,321 - (grunting): Ollie! - (gasps) 235 00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:20,396 You own a skatewear company and you don't know how to skate? 236 00:09:20,496 --> 00:09:22,500 (whimpers) 237 00:09:22,568 --> 00:09:24,037 Please don't tell anyone. 238 00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:25,741 Hey, dude, no worries. 239 00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:27,912 You know what? I can teach you to skate. 240 00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:29,916 But what if I'm not instantly amazing at it? 241 00:09:29,982 --> 00:09:32,220 I've heard that can happen. 242 00:09:33,022 --> 00:09:35,226 Okay, feet on the board, bend your knees, 243 00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,696 find your center... 244 00:09:36,796 --> 00:09:38,934 - (grunts) See? You're doing it! - (exclaiming) 245 00:09:39,034 --> 00:09:40,871 I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic. 246 00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:43,142 No one's ever been this real. 247 00:09:43,242 --> 00:09:45,179 Don't fall down! 248 00:09:45,246 --> 00:09:46,883 What's "falling down"? 249 00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:48,285 (grunts) 250 00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:53,563 That's-that's my blood. 251 00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:55,366 I've never seen it before. 252 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,437 So cool. Let's go again. 253 00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:59,007 (both exclaim) 254 00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:02,681 Can you pass the guacamole, #GuacAttack? 255 00:10:02,815 --> 00:10:04,585 ♪NewChipsOnTheGuac? 256 00:10:04,652 --> 00:10:06,756 You're hashtagging a lot lately. 257 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,461 So Bart called you uncool, big deal. 258 00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:11,566 Chasing after coolness is futile, 259 00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:13,369 because the definition is both arbitrary 260 00:10:13,435 --> 00:10:15,273 and constantly changing. 261 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,410 Mm, still want to be it. 262 00:10:19,582 --> 00:10:21,886 With hard shell tacos, you've got to bite them 263 00:10:21,953 --> 00:10:24,191 from the bottom, like this. 264 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,061 (grunts) 265 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:27,397 Why?! 266 00:10:27,463 --> 00:10:30,403 Why do I keep buying hard shells? 267 00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:32,473 I hate them! 268 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,477 Uh, I'm going to Moe's. 269 00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,816 At least put on a clean shirt. 270 00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,321 Hmm. Mm. 271 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,891 Mm. Hmm. 272 00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:45,801 Homer. 273 00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:47,403 Check it out-- I'm selling 274 00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:49,274 premium Wagyu-style steaks. 275 00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:51,211 The 72-month subscription plan-- 276 00:10:51,278 --> 00:10:53,683 it comes with a genuine landline phone. 277 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,355 I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying. 278 00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,359 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 279 00:10:58,459 --> 00:11:00,196 That's a Slipreme hoodie. 280 00:11:00,296 --> 00:11:03,803 And that ain't even a knock-off like these donkey steaks. 281 00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:05,941 I got to post this. 282 00:11:06,008 --> 00:11:08,713 Whoa, someone posted a picture of me, 283 00:11:08,813 --> 00:11:11,351 and it it's not for falling down an escalator 284 00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,322 or yelling at a parking meter. 285 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:14,926 Which means I must be... 286 00:11:15,026 --> 00:11:17,865 Cool. Yes, you are now cool. 287 00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:19,969 HOMER: I've been liked. 288 00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:21,906 Someone enjoyed looking at me. 289 00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:24,946 Finally, I know how it feels to be stylish. 290 00:11:25,046 --> 00:11:26,749 To be loved for my appearance 291 00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,787 instead of judged for my actions. 292 00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:31,358 (gasps) This is why people 293 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,295 own more than one outfit. 294 00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:36,134 Thank you, Mike Wegman! 295 00:11:37,771 --> 00:11:40,543 ORION: 540 flip straight onto your ear. 296 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:41,980 Oh. 297 00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:43,048 Legendary! 298 00:11:43,148 --> 00:11:44,952 (slurring): Am I still slurring my's words? 299 00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:47,290 Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable. 300 00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:49,729 Having a movie star dad, I don't really get 301 00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,298 to hang out with regular kids. 302 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:53,035 With you I can relax, you know, without having 303 00:11:53,135 --> 00:11:55,439 to redefine our generation's notion of relaxation. 304 00:11:55,539 --> 00:11:57,043 I guess I envy you. 305 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:59,715 Isn't that something rich people say to poor people 306 00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:02,320 so that they feel less guilty about being rich? 307 00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:05,259 Yes, but for the first time, I mean it. 308 00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:07,765 You helped me bleed. Maybe I can help you. 309 00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:10,136 What if we design a new sneaker together? 310 00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:12,206 A sneaker that all my friends will buy? 311 00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:15,079 No, a sneaker that all your friends will want to buy, 312 00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:18,052 but can't, because we won't make enough of them. 313 00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:20,323 (gasps) That's even better. 314 00:12:20,389 --> 00:12:22,193 Huh? 315 00:12:23,395 --> 00:12:24,966 What the hell are you wearing? 316 00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:27,905 I know what it is-- a hobo was murdered at a rave, 317 00:12:27,972 --> 00:12:30,944 and Homer's going undercover to find the killer. 318 00:12:31,044 --> 00:12:33,282 Nah, nah, nah, he drove a motorcycle 319 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,589 through the clothesline of a bi-curious farmer. 320 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,027 (laughs) I was once like you. 321 00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,666 Wearing clothes I bought at the gas station 322 00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,435 or found at the beach. 323 00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:46,375 But I've learned something-- when you wear crazy clothes 324 00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:49,514 you don't understand, you're not you anymore. 325 00:12:49,582 --> 00:12:51,686 You're someone better. 326 00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:53,590 Oh, my God. 327 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,894 I'm beautiful. 328 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,679 Hey. 329 00:13:04,745 --> 00:13:07,316 Well, look at me-- I'm a real Hep Cat. 330 00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:11,491 And not just because I got Hep C, A and T. 331 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,429 Which, I-I do got those. 332 00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:17,136 We must tell all middle-aged men that they need not grow old. 333 00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,942 Where do the graying masses gather to worship? 334 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:22,246 ♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪ 335 00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:25,019 ♪ To get a verse from me, you gotta be initiated ♪ 336 00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:28,125 ♪ To get a purse from me, she gotta be sophisticated ♪ 337 00:13:28,192 --> 00:13:31,331 ♪ Purchase a whip from me and never miss a single payment ♪ 338 00:13:31,398 --> 00:13:34,337 ♪ You wanna be the hottest but that can get complicated. ♪ 339 00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:36,241 Bart, together we'll design a sneaker 340 00:13:36,308 --> 00:13:39,280 that'll change sneaker culture forever. 341 00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:41,184 Which, in this business, is one week. 342 00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:43,990 ♪ ♪ 343 00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:07,638 The Bartman One. 344 00:14:07,738 --> 00:14:10,309 My life has mattered. 345 00:14:10,409 --> 00:14:13,215 Yeah, and it comes with a sticker in the box. 346 00:14:13,315 --> 00:14:15,386 The release party is Saturday night. 347 00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:17,090 It's gonna be perfect. 348 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,360 The right music, the right influencers, 349 00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:21,465 and every single person there will be young, 350 00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:23,402 cool and beautiful. 351 00:14:23,502 --> 00:14:26,208 Excuse me, do you have this in a large? 352 00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,078 You're buying that for yourself? 353 00:14:28,178 --> 00:14:30,382 But old people don't know about my clothes. 354 00:14:30,516 --> 00:14:32,186 Unless... 355 00:14:32,253 --> 00:14:33,823 Oh, no. 356 00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:34,925 They're here. 357 00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,863 The middle-aged. 358 00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:38,566 The uncool! 359 00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:40,971 (both screaming) 360 00:14:46,616 --> 00:14:47,918 This is a nightmare. 361 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:50,757 My brand's been discovered by dads. 362 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,295 I'm wearing this to da club. 363 00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:54,999 Da bridge club. 364 00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:56,836 It's like Ed Hardy all over again. 365 00:14:56,903 --> 00:14:59,007 Who the heck is Ed Hardy? 366 00:14:59,073 --> 00:15:02,113 ORION: Ed Hardy was a California tattoo artist 367 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,150 whose unique designs were the epitome of cool. 368 00:15:04,217 --> 00:15:05,887 But then, one terrible day, 369 00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:08,492 a newly-divorced dad wanted to seem younger 370 00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:09,862 on his dating profile. 371 00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:11,666 He bought a sleeveless tee in XXL 372 00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:13,402 and then posted the picture. 373 00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,539 Young people saw old people wearing the brand, 374 00:15:15,607 --> 00:15:17,945 and weeks later, a $700 million empire 375 00:15:18,011 --> 00:15:19,615 was sold for scrap. 376 00:15:20,917 --> 00:15:22,855 Stupid old losers. 377 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,292 Slipreme's gonna die. What do I do?! 378 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,330 I don't know, but we can think of something. 379 00:15:27,396 --> 00:15:30,302 We're two of the coolest kids in the world, right? 380 00:15:30,369 --> 00:15:32,608 So cool. You've even got your own sneaker. 381 00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,177 That's cool, isn't it? 382 00:15:34,277 --> 00:15:36,081 I don't even know anymore. 383 00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:38,252 Hey, Bart, thank your old man 384 00:15:38,352 --> 00:15:41,091 for introducing me to the look of the street. 385 00:15:41,124 --> 00:15:44,965 Wait, Homer's the reason you're all wearing these clothes? 386 00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,702 You know it. 387 00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:48,706 If my dad started this, 388 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,409 maybe he can stop it. 389 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,948 Yes, can I pay for this paisley tracksuit 390 00:15:53,015 --> 00:15:55,252 - with airline miles? - (grunts) 391 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,662 Ooh. Ee. Ooh. 392 00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:01,899 Drop the selfie stick now. 393 00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:03,736 What about my Lookbook? 394 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,609 Stop dressing your zombie friends up 395 00:16:06,676 --> 00:16:07,978 in the clothes of the living. 396 00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:10,482 Never! Before I discovered streetwear, 397 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,988 people-- like my son-- 398 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,526 treated me like a dried-up old husk. 399 00:16:15,594 --> 00:16:18,031 Well, you know what I am now? A wet husk. 400 00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:21,204 Full of juicy corn. Mmm, corn, Bart. 401 00:16:21,304 --> 00:16:24,678 You hear me? Mmm, corn. 402 00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:27,049 Orion and I made something amazing together, 403 00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:28,887 and you're ruining it. 404 00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:30,690 (laughs) Too bad. 405 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,330 'Cause we're all going to your sneaker release party. 406 00:16:35,366 --> 00:16:37,203 Just because they RSVP'd, 407 00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:39,507 doesn't mean they're actually coming. 408 00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:41,612 Wrong. My generation 409 00:16:41,712 --> 00:16:43,783 shows up to things. 410 00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:45,252 (gasps) 411 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,431 This is horrible. My Dad told all his loser friends 412 00:16:51,531 --> 00:16:53,068 about this party. 413 00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:55,974 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 414 00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:57,978 Aah! It's my dad. 415 00:16:58,045 --> 00:16:59,815 Act like everything's fine. 416 00:16:59,915 --> 00:17:01,852 Son, I've never seen your aura 417 00:17:01,919 --> 00:17:03,990 looking less indigo. Are you okay? 418 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,127 Nothing-nothing's wrong. I'm crushing it. 419 00:17:06,227 --> 00:17:09,033 I got this on lock. On lock. 420 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,037 Your words have convinced me. 421 00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,108 The washed-up dads are gonna be here soon. 422 00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,312 I read about it in - The Old- - Timers Gazette: 423 00:17:15,412 --> 00:17:16,916 Facebook. 424 00:17:16,949 --> 00:17:18,218 I can't handle this. 425 00:17:18,318 --> 00:17:20,824 And my therapist is pitching his sitcom today. 426 00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:23,563 Which I'm producing. (whimpering) 427 00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:27,103 You said if I ever needed you, you'd come. 428 00:17:27,236 --> 00:17:29,975 No matter what. This is that call. 429 00:17:30,075 --> 00:17:33,750 Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you some mini carrots and hummus? 430 00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:35,553 Yes. 431 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,662 Listen up, people. 432 00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:42,099 For the first time in your horrible lives, 433 00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:45,039 you are not the lamest losers in the world. 434 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,076 (cheering, clamoring) 435 00:17:47,176 --> 00:17:49,447 So if any young person asks you what you do, 436 00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:53,388 say, "Virtual marketing for a CBD massage oil startup." 437 00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:56,696 Now everyone take two precautionary Advil 438 00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:58,800 and let's live forever! 439 00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:01,304 Homer, stop it! 440 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,243 Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak. 441 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:07,049 Homer, this isn't who you are. 442 00:18:07,149 --> 00:18:10,022 You're right-- it's better than who I am. 443 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,828 This is the man I married. 444 00:18:12,894 --> 00:18:15,065 You call all deli meats baloney. 445 00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:16,869 You carry clippers on your key chain 446 00:18:16,936 --> 00:18:19,875 so you can cut your nails in line at the post office. 447 00:18:19,942 --> 00:18:22,714 You spent your stimulus check on funny bumper stickers 448 00:18:22,781 --> 00:18:25,252 about what you spent your stimulus check on. 449 00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:27,323 And since the day I first saw you 450 00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:29,460 moonwalk out of an Arby's, 451 00:18:29,595 --> 00:18:32,099 you've been comfortable in your own skin. 452 00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,370 Until now. 453 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,145 (gasps) I look... 454 00:18:38,211 --> 00:18:40,115 ridiculous! 455 00:18:40,182 --> 00:18:42,821 I shouldn't be at a sneaker release party. 456 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,090 I should be at home. 457 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,597 Making microwave popcorn. 458 00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:50,269 My favorite show. 459 00:18:50,369 --> 00:18:52,607 We don't belong here. 460 00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,210 Men our age 461 00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:56,716 belong in here. 462 00:18:58,018 --> 00:19:00,456 The Museum of Aviation History. 463 00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:02,493 (excited chatter, laughing) 464 00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:05,232 LENNY: Oh. 465 00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:07,871 The cross section of a real B-52. 466 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:11,779 An IMAX movie about the golden age of ballooning. 467 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,519 Audio tour by Gary Sinise. 468 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:18,458 It worked. They took the dad-bait. 469 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:19,995 (grunting) 470 00:19:20,062 --> 00:19:21,398 Dad. 471 00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:24,872 You did something no old person is remotely capable of. 472 00:19:24,905 --> 00:19:26,976 You changed your mind. 473 00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:29,080 I'm sorry I almost ruined everything 474 00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:31,084 for you and your friend. 475 00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,255 I have no business wearing skatewear. 476 00:19:33,321 --> 00:19:35,526 I don't even like to ice skate. 477 00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:37,496 (grunts) Oh. 478 00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:40,235 I never got a pair of my own shoes, and now they're sold out. 479 00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:43,810 Yo, style freaks. I got counterfeit Bart Ones. 480 00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:45,512 Genuine knockoffs. 481 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,349 Your dumb friends can't tell the difference 482 00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:49,888 unless you wear 'em or you look at 'em close. 483 00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:53,629 (grunts) 484 00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:59,107 Thanks, Dad. Sometimes you are a little bit cool. 485 00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:02,012 Aw. Buy you a chicken sandwich? 486 00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:23,221 Dad, tonight was a close call. 487 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,792 This party was almost not a cultural gamechanger. 488 00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:27,029 I hope you're not disappointed in me. 489 00:20:27,096 --> 00:20:29,033 Oh, you can never let me down, 490 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,171 because I know exactly how you feel. 491 00:20:31,237 --> 00:20:32,908 Because you're me. 492 00:20:33,008 --> 00:20:34,711 No, Dad. I'm not you. 493 00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,247 And I'll never be you. 494 00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:38,653 (chuckles) You're not hearing what I'm saying. 495 00:20:38,753 --> 00:20:40,022 You're me. 496 00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:42,460 A clone of me. Like this 497 00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:46,735 You were created on the set of Duplicate Cop One, 498 00:20:46,802 --> 00:20:49,608 which we filmed in a real cloning lab. 499 00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:53,950 I knew I could never love a child 500 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:57,691 as much as I love myself, so I made another me: 501 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,559 you. 502 00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:01,464 But how... But I... But... What? 503 00:21:01,498 --> 00:21:03,736 Didn't you ever wonder why you don't have a mother? 504 00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:06,876 - Kind of. - Orion, our cosmic connection 505 00:21:06,942 --> 00:21:08,211 is infinitely deeper 506 00:21:08,311 --> 00:21:10,315 than what a "father" feels for a "son." 507 00:21:10,415 --> 00:21:12,419 I love you, me. 508 00:21:12,486 --> 00:21:15,192 I love you, too... me. 509 00:21:15,225 --> 00:21:16,327 Mm. 510 00:21:16,427 --> 00:21:20,035 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 511 00:21:20,102 --> 00:21:23,241 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 512 00:21:23,308 --> 00:21:26,247 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 513 00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:29,053 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 514 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,124 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 515 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:33,563 Shh.