1
00:00:08,727 --> 00:00:09,663
Ah-ha!
2
00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:22,487
Tonight on Million
Dollar Listing: Springfield.
3
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,924
♪ Fabulous ♪
4
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,393
♪ Fa-fabulous ♪
5
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,230
♪ Fabulous ♪
6
00:00:27,297 --> 00:00:29,736
♪ Fa-fabulous ♪
7
00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:30,805
♪ Fabulous ♪
8
00:00:30,871 --> 00:00:32,207
♪ Fa-fa-fabulous. ♪
9
00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:34,278
We once again have only
10
00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:36,182
one house in this whole town
11
00:00:36,282 --> 00:00:37,585
worth a million dollars.
12
00:00:37,652 --> 00:00:39,488
I keep telling you,
I don't want to sell.
13
00:00:39,589 --> 00:00:41,593
This area has
a great school system
14
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,531
and I'm thinking
of starting a family.
15
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:47,772
My children, fight each other
to the death for my love.
16
00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:51,813
I'm here in
the sculpture garden,
17
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:53,684
and we can't keep
the buyers away.
18
00:00:53,751 --> 00:00:56,623
Maybe it's the fresh-baked
morphine cookies.
19
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,663
Open concept dungeon,
20
00:00:59,729 --> 00:01:01,365
four panic rooms,
21
00:01:01,465 --> 00:01:04,204
hot and cold running oxygen.
22
00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:07,110
Good old reality TV.
23
00:01:07,144 --> 00:01:09,716
Snappy editing, no content.
24
00:01:11,052 --> 00:01:12,689
Homer.
25
00:01:15,327 --> 00:01:17,297
Marge.
26
00:01:24,713 --> 00:01:25,781
What the...?
27
00:01:25,881 --> 00:01:29,455
I'm hosting book club tonight,
and I was thinking,
28
00:01:29,521 --> 00:01:32,127
maybe you'd like to go to Moe's
until we're done.
29
00:01:32,194 --> 00:01:33,697
You want me to go to Moe's?
30
00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:34,733
I do.
31
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,135
How drunk can I get?
32
00:01:36,202 --> 00:01:37,705
Stinking or falling down?
33
00:01:37,772 --> 00:01:39,408
Uh, how about "sociable"?
34
00:01:39,508 --> 00:01:41,713
What I'm hearing
is wedding drunk.
35
00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:43,851
Wedding drunk, cash bar.
36
00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,220
Fine.
37
00:01:45,286 --> 00:01:47,692
So, who liked the book?
38
00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:52,467
Not me. It was a farewell
to my Saturday.
39
00:01:52,568 --> 00:01:53,604
Aw.
40
00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:55,574
Hemingway is so clichéd.
41
00:01:55,675 --> 00:01:58,580
This book about Italian
ambulance drivers was...
42
00:01:58,681 --> 00:02:01,753
...boring, boring, boring.
43
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:05,193
There wasn't enough
smoking in it for me.
44
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,297
May I speak mah piece?
45
00:02:07,364 --> 00:02:09,268
What's your problem, Daisy May?
46
00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:11,707
Couldn't make it through
the audiobook?
47
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,015
Well, ah thinks
it's a classic of style
48
00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:19,455
that's more than a war story
and more than a love story.
49
00:02:19,521 --> 00:02:21,626
With deceptively simple prose
50
00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:24,733
as lean and sturdy
as a half-ton marlin.
51
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:28,272
I-I mean...
52
00:02:28,373 --> 00:02:32,180
my eyes was bewitchefied with
all them squiggels and squirms.
53
00:02:33,851 --> 00:02:35,721
Well... I-I best git.
54
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,493
I left
all my kids with a nanny.
55
00:02:44,606 --> 00:02:46,208
You free Saturday?
56
00:02:47,812 --> 00:02:49,916
Then, the hillbilly woman
made a comment
57
00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:51,953
that was profound
and insightful.
58
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:53,423
She's secretly smart.
59
00:02:53,489 --> 00:02:57,464
Uh, Helen, please do not
gossip in church.
60
00:02:59,869 --> 00:03:02,340
Did you hear about Brandine?
61
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:05,213
Well, it would be nice
to hear something other than
62
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,517
"Let me go, I have a family."
63
00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:09,254
Well, I tried
"you're under arrest,"
64
00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:10,724
but you just laughed.
65
00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:13,029
We got some nice wigglers.
66
00:03:13,096 --> 00:03:15,400
They pair well with a hook.
67
00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:19,241
Mm, I'll take a box
of Napa Valley reds.
68
00:03:19,976 --> 00:03:20,911
Hey, Spuckler.
69
00:03:20,978 --> 00:03:22,648
I just want to warn you.
70
00:03:22,749 --> 00:03:25,755
Your wife isn't the woman
you think she is.
71
00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:27,491
Just what does you mean?
72
00:03:27,592 --> 00:03:30,296
She's smart.
Jeopardy smart.
73
00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:31,933
Celebrity Jeopardy!?
74
00:03:32,033 --> 00:03:33,871
Regular Jeopardy.
75
00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:35,608
Ahh!
76
00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:38,446
You do not tell a man
he don't know his wife.
77
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,684
That's like telling a man
his gun's not loaded.
78
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:44,692
You let him find that out
at the worst possible time.
79
00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,028
Well, you should know.
80
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:49,736
When your wife left
the book club, she dropped this.
81
00:03:51,973 --> 00:03:55,781
Liberry has two R's?
82
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:58,921
- Your bait, sir.
- You just keep your worms.
83
00:03:58,987 --> 00:04:01,560
I gots me bigger fish to fry.
84
00:04:01,693 --> 00:04:03,597
Go on, git.
85
00:04:04,999 --> 00:04:07,839
What a senseless waste of worms.
86
00:04:08,841 --> 00:04:11,378
Men receiving credit
for women's work in science
87
00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:13,684
has been dubbed
"The Matilda Effect,"
88
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:16,322
with such victims as
Lise Meitner,
89
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,996
Rosalind Franklin,
and Jocelyn Bell Burnell.
90
00:04:20,096 --> 00:04:23,169
How many pumpkin stickers
will it take for you to stop?
91
00:04:23,269 --> 00:04:24,873
Here, have the whole sheet.
92
00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:26,375
This is really important.
93
00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:28,312
Each of these heroines
was nonplussed
94
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:30,183
at their lack
of recognition and...
95
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,418
Sorry, Lisa.
96
00:04:31,519 --> 00:04:33,924
I don't think you're using
that word correctly.
97
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,961
Nonplussed? Ha.
98
00:04:36,028 --> 00:04:37,464
I'm pretty sure I am.
99
00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:40,638
It means perplexed.
100
00:04:43,911 --> 00:04:44,712
It does.
101
00:04:44,812 --> 00:04:46,950
As in,
"The teacher was nonplussed
102
00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:48,720
by the impudence of a student."
103
00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:51,593
When I grow up,
I want to be a big word.
104
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:54,364
Lisa, you get in the back
of the class and keep quiet.
105
00:04:54,464 --> 00:04:55,601
Do I get an "A"?
106
00:04:55,668 --> 00:04:57,838
An "A" for "aggravation."
107
00:04:57,905 --> 00:05:00,143
An A's an A!
108
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,127
Cletus, darling,
109
00:05:09,194 --> 00:05:10,496
I-I made your favorite.
110
00:05:10,564 --> 00:05:14,071
Sorry, but I'm in no mood
for porcu-pie right now.
111
00:05:14,137 --> 00:05:16,041
Brandine, tell me true.
112
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:17,879
Are you actually smart?
113
00:05:17,979 --> 00:05:21,953
Have all your yups
just being yeses in disguise?
114
00:05:22,053 --> 00:05:24,224
Aw, don't be silly.
115
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,228
Why? The only three R's I know
116
00:05:26,328 --> 00:05:29,067
are racoons, Red Bull
and the rhythm method.
117
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:34,011
Please, I needs to know.
118
00:05:34,077 --> 00:05:36,883
Brandine, who is you?
119
00:05:39,722 --> 00:05:43,029
Darling, I'm afraid
I'm guilty of concealing
120
00:05:43,129 --> 00:05:45,734
a significant self-improvement.
121
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,103
Guh-wha?
122
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:50,310
It started a few years back
with some books I read
123
00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:52,347
that fell off a passing tornado.
124
00:05:54,151 --> 00:05:58,560
It was like entering a universe
I never knew existed.
125
00:05:58,660 --> 00:05:59,796
I went to the ballet.
126
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,379
And I completed
my self-education
127
00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:10,316
at the Springfield Athenaeum.
128
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,387
- The what?
- Athenaeum.
129
00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:14,157
- The what?
- Museum.
130
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,528
- The what?
- Pica-ture palace.
131
00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:18,700
Got it.
Oh, good lordy.
132
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:21,372
I'm starting to worry
there's more layers to you
133
00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:23,577
than a skunk
and tomater sandwich.
134
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:24,779
Brandine, I'm sorry.
135
00:06:24,879 --> 00:06:27,885
But I-I can't have
a stranger as my woman.
136
00:06:27,985 --> 00:06:29,121
Remember your vow.
137
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:33,529
You promised to love, honor,
and never grow in any way.
138
00:06:33,630 --> 00:06:35,366
Well, you're right about that.
139
00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:37,037
I'll leave now,
140
00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:39,408
but I'll be back
for most of the children.
141
00:06:39,474 --> 00:06:40,778
That's fair enough.
142
00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,215
All right, which ones of y'all
want to stay with me?
143
00:06:43,349 --> 00:06:47,123
And remember, you go with her--
you gots to wash your hands.
144
00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:49,194
Whoa, you mean like every week?
145
00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:50,564
- Sorry, Ma.
- Can't do it.
146
00:06:50,664 --> 00:06:52,334
Say bye-bye to your mama.
147
00:06:52,434 --> 00:06:56,375
Or would you prefer
a "bon voyage"?
148
00:06:56,442 --> 00:06:57,878
Cletus Delroy Spuckler,
149
00:06:57,945 --> 00:07:01,251
you are lower than
a gopher's basement. Goodbye.
150
00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,690
Young'uns, turn away
151
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,095
if you don't want to see
your daddy cry.
152
00:07:06,195 --> 00:07:07,565
We've seen you cry.
153
00:07:07,665 --> 00:07:10,269
But we've never seen you yodel.
154
00:07:10,336 --> 00:07:12,073
All right, then.
155
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,593
Brandine!
156
00:07:21,726 --> 00:07:24,297
Are you here for further
book club discussions?
157
00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:26,803
I'm here because
I got nowhere else to go.
158
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,539
I've been rejected by a man
159
00:07:28,607 --> 00:07:30,978
who thinks it's funny
to light his farts.
160
00:07:31,078 --> 00:07:34,317
- You can light them?
- No, Homer, no!
161
00:07:34,451 --> 00:07:35,754
Hey, whoa!
162
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:36,923
Wasn't me.
163
00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:42,100
Ms. Spuckler? I brought
some books you might like.
164
00:07:43,069 --> 00:07:44,404
You're a smart girl, Lisa.
165
00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:48,379
Which means life will be harder
than a month-old biscuit.
166
00:07:49,481 --> 00:07:50,651
Oh...
167
00:07:52,053 --> 00:07:54,358
So, about Cletus, um...
168
00:07:54,424 --> 00:07:56,996
I just have to ask, sorry.
169
00:07:57,063 --> 00:07:59,969
- what do you see in him?
- What do you mean?
170
00:08:00,036 --> 00:08:03,844
Don't you think maybe
you could've done, um, better?
171
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:07,350
You mean, like you could've
done better than Homer?
172
00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:09,689
What? What?
173
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:10,958
What?
174
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,997
People think I could've done
better than Homer?
175
00:08:14,064 --> 00:08:15,734
ALL
Yes.
176
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,080
I never knew
anyone felt that way.
177
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,884
Reality check in aisle five.
178
00:08:23,984 --> 00:08:26,756
Disco Stu needs
to buy some glue.
179
00:08:26,856 --> 00:08:29,729
Also, Marge, please get a clue.
180
00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:32,635
Enough. Enough.
181
00:08:32,735 --> 00:08:34,739
I'll tell you
how I fell for Cletus.
182
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,776
It was one of those
magical nights
183
00:08:36,910 --> 00:08:40,349
when the world was young
and everything was golden,
184
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:41,820
including his tooth.
185
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,395
We were seated
at the same hay bale
186
00:08:46,495 --> 00:08:49,468
at my sister's shotgun wedding.
187
00:08:49,534 --> 00:08:52,708
- Um, is this bale six?
- It is.
188
00:08:52,775 --> 00:08:55,513
Do you ever look at someone
across a crowded pasture
189
00:08:55,581 --> 00:08:57,250
and your knees went all weak?
190
00:08:57,350 --> 00:09:00,557
Not from rickets or scurvy,
but from sheer infatuation?
191
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:04,464
Oh, I ransacked my brain
for le mot juste,
192
00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:06,135
but all I could find was...
193
00:09:06,268 --> 00:09:07,303
Derr.
194
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:09,441
Derr yourself.
195
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:10,677
In that moment,
196
00:09:10,744 --> 00:09:13,215
twenty years of being
the middle child
197
00:09:13,315 --> 00:09:14,819
in a family of 37
198
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:18,459
fell away like high-heeled shoes
on a wedding night.
199
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,566
Uh, you know,
I'm pretty sure we's cousins.
200
00:09:21,666 --> 00:09:24,304
Second? First?
201
00:09:24,404 --> 00:09:25,808
Kissing.
202
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,076
Aww.
203
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:36,094
You ever driven
a tractor before?
204
00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,565
No, sir.
205
00:09:37,631 --> 00:09:39,635
These blades massage the soil
206
00:09:39,735 --> 00:09:43,175
to make it ready
for what is sure to follow.
207
00:09:43,242 --> 00:09:44,846
Churn that soil.
208
00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:47,450
Churning. Always a-churning.
209
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:52,661
Until you just plant that seed
in there real deep.
210
00:09:52,728 --> 00:09:54,799
You do this with all your dates?
211
00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:58,372
Now, if I did, don't you think
this field would be plowed?
212
00:09:58,439 --> 00:10:01,245
This is just for you, darling.
213
00:10:01,311 --> 00:10:02,648
Mmm.
214
00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:05,086
You're ruining my marijuana!
215
00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:09,227
That night, I knew the next
shotgun wedding I went to
216
00:10:09,327 --> 00:10:11,265
was gonna be mine.
217
00:10:11,331 --> 00:10:13,135
Aww.
218
00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:25,126
Oh, look who it is,
Little Miss Google Noodle.
219
00:10:25,226 --> 00:10:26,028
This isn't fair.
220
00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:28,399
There's four times
as many of you.
221
00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:31,538
She's trying to teach us
to multiply.
222
00:10:31,639 --> 00:10:32,540
Get her!
223
00:10:50,276 --> 00:10:51,345
Yoink.
224
00:10:52,781 --> 00:10:54,552
Hello? What is this?
225
00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:56,521
Fight over
who beats me up first?
226
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,627
Someone's nonplussed.
227
00:10:58,693 --> 00:11:00,731
Correct usage.
228
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:01,866
Are you a real kid
229
00:11:01,933 --> 00:11:04,371
or did the voice
in my head come to life?
230
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,508
Lisa Simpson,
231
00:11:06,576 --> 00:11:08,245
I'd like to modestly ask you
232
00:11:08,312 --> 00:11:11,084
to join our League
of Extraordinary Geniuses.
233
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,273
A club for smart kids?
234
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,814
But I've never noticed any other
names on the online honor roll.
235
00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:27,417
And I refresh it hourly.
236
00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:29,755
We hide in the shadows.
237
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,462
Which is scary, so we bring
little flashlights.
238
00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:35,266
Eh, just you, Myles.
239
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:36,368
Ah!
240
00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:37,938
To avoid suspicion,
241
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:40,744
we figured out
how to be good at sports.
242
00:11:50,697 --> 00:11:52,701
We don't wear our glasses,
243
00:11:52,768 --> 00:11:54,739
even though we really need them.
244
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:59,180
Hold on. That food
is not fit for students.
245
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:04,190
Starve a landfill,
feed a teacher.
246
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,665
So you pretend to be dumb?
247
00:12:07,731 --> 00:12:09,602
Absolutely. To survive.
248
00:12:09,702 --> 00:12:12,975
Like a brightly-colored bug
who is actually poison inside.
249
00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:15,513
The Dasymutilla Occidentalis?
250
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,317
Don't tell anyone you know that.
251
00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:19,956
If you do, the bullies will
pounce on you like an...
252
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,626
Arilus Cristatus?
253
00:12:21,726 --> 00:12:24,765
Arilus Cristatus?
Who said that?
254
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:26,301
- Ar...
- Shh. Quiet.
255
00:12:26,401 --> 00:12:31,044
Name one more genus and species
and you will be silenced.
256
00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:34,217
Engage the Idiot Shield.
257
00:12:34,317 --> 00:12:37,691
Wheel. Of. Fortune.
258
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,962
Wheel of Fortune's on.
Let's get home.
259
00:12:42,868 --> 00:12:44,304
And that's how I realized
260
00:12:44,337 --> 00:12:47,076
wheelchair ramps
are bitching skateboard jumps.
261
00:12:47,176 --> 00:12:49,381
Thanks, Americans
with Disabilities Act.
262
00:12:50,784 --> 00:12:53,389
I miss
my rotten little apples.
263
00:12:53,455 --> 00:12:57,063
Especially the babies:
Moderna, AstraZeneca,
264
00:12:57,096 --> 00:12:59,802
and the twins,
Johnson & Johnson.
265
00:12:59,902 --> 00:13:01,238
Well, I just wanted to say,
266
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:04,277
this is the best
possum potpie I ever had.
267
00:13:04,377 --> 00:13:05,981
I know what you're
thinking, Lisa.
268
00:13:06,048 --> 00:13:08,018
But if God didn't want us
to eat possums,
269
00:13:08,085 --> 00:13:10,423
he wouldn't have
made them look so delicious.
270
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:13,429
I'm just thinking about a club
I may join at school.
271
00:13:13,495 --> 00:13:15,567
This one recruited me.
272
00:13:15,634 --> 00:13:17,671
Aw, that's wonderful.
273
00:13:17,738 --> 00:13:20,443
And Maggie, how was your day?
274
00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:26,121
I feel so bad for Brandine.
275
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,525
Homie, will you go
talk to Cletus?
276
00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:30,630
For you, baby, anything.
277
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,539
Sorry. I didn't fix the light
switch like you asked me to.
278
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,443
Well, maybe tomorrow?
279
00:13:37,543 --> 00:13:39,514
For sure maybe.
280
00:13:39,582 --> 00:13:43,122
Homer, do you think
people look at us and say,
281
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,927
"Why does she stay with him?"
282
00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:48,098
Why does she stay with him?
283
00:13:48,165 --> 00:13:51,338
Lord, why does
she stay with him?
284
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:52,841
Oh, yeah!
285
00:13:52,908 --> 00:13:54,879
Why does Mommy stay with...
286
00:13:56,181 --> 00:13:58,252
Don't tell her you can talk.
287
00:13:58,318 --> 00:14:00,924
I don't think
I could've done better,
288
00:14:00,991 --> 00:14:03,897
but it seems every other person
in town thinks so.
289
00:14:03,997 --> 00:14:06,334
You're not going to listen
to everybody, are you?
290
00:14:06,401 --> 00:14:07,738
No, I'm not.
291
00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:09,541
Just hang the blanket
over the window
292
00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:10,911
so I can get to sleep.
293
00:14:11,011 --> 00:14:12,581
We don't have to do that anymore
294
00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:14,885
because I fixed the blinds.
295
00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:21,131
Ooh, a shooting star.
296
00:14:21,198 --> 00:14:22,768
That's the water heater.
297
00:14:23,903 --> 00:14:25,539
Cletus,
you and Brandine have
298
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,009
to get back together.
299
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,013
Broken marriages are contagious.
300
00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:32,420
This is not about if'n or not
I love Brandine. I do!
301
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,493
But she refused to tell me
who she was.
302
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,033
Does she now think
hill folk are a-a joke?
303
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:41,104
Well, some of it's funny.
304
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,877
I mean, that long underwear with
the back door for the butt?
305
00:14:43,977 --> 00:14:45,614
When it flaps open...
306
00:14:48,653 --> 00:14:51,057
I mean, come on.
307
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,128
You just follow me.
308
00:14:54,063 --> 00:14:55,499
Aw, sheet.
309
00:15:00,242 --> 00:15:02,213
Brandine didn't just lie to me.
310
00:15:02,313 --> 00:15:04,083
What she done is made a mockery
311
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:08,459
of my forebearers who possibly
did include four bears.
312
00:15:08,525 --> 00:15:11,431
I want you to look at me
not as a hick, or a bumpkin,
313
00:15:11,498 --> 00:15:13,770
but as a human being.
With feelings.
314
00:15:13,837 --> 00:15:15,039
Just like you.
315
00:15:17,109 --> 00:15:19,280
Oh, my God. You're right.
316
00:15:20,416 --> 00:15:22,186
I don't know
how to feel right now.
317
00:15:22,253 --> 00:15:23,690
I'm worried about your marriage.
318
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,594
I'm worried about my marriage.
319
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,263
Homer, no matter how you feel,
320
00:15:27,363 --> 00:15:31,004
there's a country song
that expresses it perfectly.
321
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,979
No, that's not quite it.
322
00:15:36,949 --> 00:15:38,485
Here we go.
323
00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:44,297
It's like they're singing just to me.
324
00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:47,036
♪ Marge could've done better ♪
325
00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:50,276
♪ Yes, she could,
yes, she could ♪
326
00:15:50,342 --> 00:15:53,081
♪ She regrets
the day you met her ♪
327
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:56,288
♪ Yes, she does,
yes, she does ♪
328
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:59,427
♪ She just realized
you're no good ♪
329
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:03,435
♪ Yes, she did,
what took so long? ♪
330
00:16:03,535 --> 00:16:06,508
Oh, why is it so catchy?
331
00:16:08,345 --> 00:16:11,919
♪ She just realized
you're no good ♪
332
00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:15,259
♪ Yes, she did,
what took so long? ♪
333
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,057
Are you leaving?
334
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,694
I'm going home.
335
00:16:32,761 --> 00:16:34,063
Marriages aren't perfect.
336
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:38,205
I've even forgiven him
for blowing a jug in his sleep.
337
00:16:41,979 --> 00:16:44,083
Well, that's great,
because my new friends
338
00:16:44,183 --> 00:16:45,820
have given me the same tip.
339
00:16:45,887 --> 00:16:47,356
"Hide your intelligence."
340
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,462
No, not you. You're too young.
341
00:16:50,529 --> 00:16:52,801
You have everything
ahead of you.
342
00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:54,805
Show 'em how smart you are.
343
00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:56,341
- Really?
- A-yup.
344
00:16:56,408 --> 00:16:59,180
You hear that, brain?
You're free.
345
00:16:59,247 --> 00:17:01,217
Veni, vidi, vici!
346
00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:03,455
Whoa, slow down there, poindexter.
347
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:12,239
♪ You say you need a change ♪
348
00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:18,686
♪ Don't all the dreams ♪
349
00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:22,159
♪ We've seen come true ♪
350
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:25,767
♪ Mean anything? ♪
351
00:17:31,177 --> 00:17:33,081
Attention.
I have some announcements
352
00:17:33,148 --> 00:17:34,417
regarding the cafeteria menu.
353
00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:36,321
Several items are misspelled.
354
00:17:36,354 --> 00:17:38,358
"Gren beans"
should be green beans.
355
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,329
"Tater tats" are tater tots.
356
00:17:40,429 --> 00:17:41,999
"Healthy" should be not healthy.
357
00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:44,304
Also...
358
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,842
You have to listen.
I'm wearing a necktie.
359
00:17:48,111 --> 00:17:50,215
I am not bemused.
360
00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:53,322
Uh, excuse me,
Principal Skinner?
361
00:17:53,388 --> 00:17:55,192
Uh, I just wanted to say
362
00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:57,965
that I think you meant
you are not "amused"?
363
00:17:58,065 --> 00:17:59,868
"Bemused" means bewildered.
364
00:17:59,935 --> 00:18:01,137
What is she doing?
365
00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:03,943
Revealing her intellect.
Oh, the fool.
366
00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:07,551
This isn't a magnet school.
We don't even own a magnet.
367
00:18:07,617 --> 00:18:10,522
That's because I swallowed it.
368
00:18:12,561 --> 00:18:15,633
Never again will I hide
my intelligence.
369
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:18,405
I am smartacus.
370
00:18:19,608 --> 00:18:21,545
I am smartacus.
371
00:18:21,646 --> 00:18:24,517
Unsurprisingly,
I also am smartacus.
372
00:18:24,652 --> 00:18:29,427
I am smartacus.
Well, sort of smartacus.
373
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:32,299
Well, perfect attendacus.
374
00:18:32,366 --> 00:18:34,237
Sitting downacus.
375
00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:37,577
It's time to squelch this wave
376
00:18:37,678 --> 00:18:38,780
of love of learning
377
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,015
and show them who's boss.
378
00:18:40,115 --> 00:18:41,719
They are, loser.
379
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,756
I declare half a day.
380
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,492
Still too much.
381
00:18:45,593 --> 00:18:47,129
Okay, no day.
382
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:51,037
Who wants their lunch
money back?
383
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,210
Not me.
It's fish stick day.
384
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:57,718
This is it, Brandine.
Kill your brain.
385
00:18:57,818 --> 00:18:58,720
Take your medicine.
386
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,590
Mama!
387
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,193
Oh, hi, kids.
388
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:05,232
Look at how
some of you have grown.
389
00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:06,334
Where's your pap?
390
00:19:06,401 --> 00:19:08,372
He's been doing
a lot of thinking.
391
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:12,146
About you and him.
Can't go on like it has.
392
00:19:12,213 --> 00:19:14,283
He said he's going to
a govement building
393
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,223
to get something
so he can start a new life.
394
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,193
No. I got to stop him.
395
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:20,630
- It's too late.
- Wha...?
396
00:19:20,697 --> 00:19:21,866
Signed and sealed.
397
00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:25,607
I got me a liberry card.
398
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,884
Oh, Cletus.
399
00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:33,623
And my first book.
400
00:19:34,658 --> 00:19:37,029
Yeah, man,
this looks like a toughie.
401
00:19:37,163 --> 00:19:39,635
We'll get through it together.
402
00:19:41,672 --> 00:19:44,645
- Homie?
- Marge, never again will I be the guy
403
00:19:44,745 --> 00:19:47,416
about who people say,
"Why is she still with him?"
404
00:19:47,483 --> 00:19:50,222
I fixed the drapes.
And the light switch.
405
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:52,961
Oh, nice.
406
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,330
But you'll have
to do more than that.
407
00:19:54,397 --> 00:19:58,071
I also cleaned
the lint trap in the dryer.
408
00:19:59,608 --> 00:20:00,710
And?
409
00:20:00,777 --> 00:20:01,912
Four things?
410
00:20:01,979 --> 00:20:03,381
Okay, Marge. I admit it.
411
00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:06,221
You could do better,
but I couldn't.
412
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:09,293
Every day you give me
something awesome to shoot for.
413
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,866
Though I may occasionally
fall short,
414
00:20:11,932 --> 00:20:15,940
because you are so great,
I will never stop trying.
415
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,276
I love you, Marge.
416
00:20:17,376 --> 00:20:19,748
I love you, too.
417
00:20:21,752 --> 00:20:23,890
Finally,
just in case I needed it.
418
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,827
I got Elton John back.
419
00:20:25,927 --> 00:20:29,000
And he's here,
ready to play for you again.
420
00:20:30,169 --> 00:20:33,475
Oh, Homie. I never needed that.
421
00:20:34,945 --> 00:20:38,719
You mean I learned
226 songs for nothing?
422
00:20:38,786 --> 00:20:41,725
I don't think they'll be
needing you guys either.
423
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:44,096
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
424
00:20:51,846 --> 00:20:53,248
I want to tell y'all
425
00:20:53,315 --> 00:20:54,852
about an American classic
426
00:20:54,918 --> 00:20:59,595
that details a wealthy lifestyle
far beyond my reckoning.
427
00:20:59,661 --> 00:21:02,466
It's called
The Grapes of Wrath.
428
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:05,607
- It's about a middle-
- American family what drives
429
00:21:05,673 --> 00:21:07,978
to California for a better life.
430
00:21:08,044 --> 00:21:10,583
For a much better treatment
of this subject,
431
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:14,658
I recommend National
Lampoon's Vacation,
432
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:17,931
now available on Hillbilly Plus.
433
00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:20,870
Y'all come back now, you hear?
434
00:21:20,937 --> 00:21:23,074
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
435
00:21:23,141 --> 00:21:24,745
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
436
00:21:24,811 --> 00:21:26,782
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
437
00:21:26,849 --> 00:21:28,853
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
438
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,024
Shh!