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00:00:10,263 --> 00:00:13,169
Second grade
is a turbulent time.
2
00:00:13,269 --> 00:00:15,575
In gym, I was given a "C"
3
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:19,248
when I refused to play
with the non-vegan football.
4
00:00:19,315 --> 00:00:22,054
And so, I was searching
for meaning.
5
00:00:22,154 --> 00:00:23,791
And extra credit.
6
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:28,634
I found it in the Future Nature
Documentarian Day Camp.
7
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,537
I knew two things going in.
8
00:00:30,605 --> 00:00:34,011
I would produce
a three-minute documentary
9
00:00:34,111 --> 00:00:37,251
and lunch would not be provided.
10
00:00:37,384 --> 00:00:40,423
What I didn't know
was that I would become friends
11
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with an eight-armed miracle.
12
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,308
At first, she was shy, like me.
13
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,747
Unlike me,
most of her brain cells
14
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are located in her tentacles.
15
00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:57,859
Which can smell, taste
and even think.
16
00:00:58,827 --> 00:01:00,564
I named her Molly.
17
00:01:00,631 --> 00:01:03,971
She was the most
fascinating creature.
18
00:01:04,071 --> 00:01:06,375
A master of camouflage.
19
00:01:08,847 --> 00:01:12,689
Her liquid body could slip
into the tiniest spaces.
20
00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:14,458
A shark!
21
00:01:14,525 --> 00:01:17,464
Mom! I'm recording
my voice-over.
22
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I wasn't expecting
to see a shark.
23
00:01:19,903 --> 00:01:21,172
What if it bit you?
24
00:01:21,238 --> 00:01:23,076
Quick, let me do a finger count.
25
00:01:23,176 --> 00:01:26,082
It's a tiny shark.
It's not dangerous to people.
26
00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:28,386
I don't like you hanging out
with sharks.
27
00:01:28,486 --> 00:01:30,357
You should have land friends.
28
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,593
Noted.
29
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:36,268
Though Molly and I
are both solitary creatures,
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we forged a bond.
31
00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:42,014
- Mom.
- It's so cute.
32
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Your résumé is impressive.
33
00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:45,453
Very impressive.
34
00:01:45,621 --> 00:01:48,159
You won the Tishman Prize
for Classroom Excellence
35
00:01:48,226 --> 00:01:51,198
and the Fallberg Prize
for Cloakroom Excellence.
36
00:01:51,298 --> 00:01:54,038
I invented a new coat hook.
37
00:01:54,071 --> 00:01:56,509
So, what brings you
to Springfield?
38
00:01:56,610 --> 00:02:00,016
Oh, my husband was hired by the
Springfield Symphony Orchestra.
39
00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:03,156
He's an oboist. He's not great.
40
00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:05,093
But that-that was unsupportive.
41
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,330
He's good. Oboe is hard.
42
00:02:07,397 --> 00:02:10,571
See, for two years
I taught in Ghana,
43
00:02:10,638 --> 00:02:14,211
which was so rewarding,
but not so much for him.
44
00:02:14,278 --> 00:02:15,748
Ghana doesn't have an orchestra?
45
00:02:15,881 --> 00:02:18,554
Well, they do, but you have to
be really good to play in it...
46
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:21,225
Ooh, n-not that Springfield
isn't good.
47
00:02:21,292 --> 00:02:26,235
It is a fine regional orchestra,
and-and my husband
48
00:02:26,302 --> 00:02:28,473
fits right in.
49
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,678
Anyway, that's why we're here.
50
00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:33,984
Uh, uh, would you, uh,
excuse us for one moment?
51
00:02:34,051 --> 00:02:36,322
Oh, uh, c-certainly.
52
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,798
Yes. An actual
qualified teacher.
53
00:02:40,898 --> 00:02:44,037
And she's stuck here because
her husband sucks at oboe.
54
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Ha!
Booyah!
55
00:02:45,306 --> 00:02:46,710
Um...
56
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,549
obviously, we're meeting
with other applicants...
57
00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:52,487
Of course, and I'm meeting
with other schools.
58
00:02:52,521 --> 00:02:53,857
No! You're hired, you're hired.
59
00:02:53,957 --> 00:02:56,997
Here's a ninety, uh, three
dollar signing bonus.
60
00:02:57,097 --> 00:02:58,600
And you can have
his parking spot.
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00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:01,706
I'll park at the yogurt place.
They-they know me there.
62
00:03:05,748 --> 00:03:07,484
Are-are you okay?
63
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:11,192
Boys, meet your new teacher,
Ms. Peyton.
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00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,296
This is Nelson, Milhouse and...
65
00:03:13,362 --> 00:03:15,668
w-who is that
behind that locker?
66
00:03:15,801 --> 00:03:17,037
Just me. Bart.
67
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:19,208
Bart. Bart.
68
00:03:19,308 --> 00:03:21,178
You know, like a seal?
69
00:03:21,245 --> 00:03:23,917
You look familiar. Have we met?
70
00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:25,855
No! You are a stranger.
71
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:30,497
Stranger, stranger,
overheating alert, alert, alert.
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00:03:30,598 --> 00:03:32,200
Shutting down. Self-destruct.
73
00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:41,519
Bart had Skittles
with milk for breakfast.
74
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:44,859
I told him he couldn't
handle the rainbow.
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00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,242
I wanted to chase
the shark away,
76
00:03:53,342 --> 00:03:57,250
but the documentarian oath
is "never interfere."
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00:03:57,317 --> 00:03:59,889
It's printed on the T-shirt.
78
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:04,833
Molly tried to armor herself
against the predator.
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00:04:04,899 --> 00:04:06,502
But it wasn't enough.
80
00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:11,312
As a filmmaker, all I could do
was watch in horror
81
00:04:11,378 --> 00:04:13,449
and rack focus on the shark.
82
00:04:13,516 --> 00:04:16,890
I hope I made a difference
in Molly's short life,
83
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,261
because she will forever be
84
00:04:19,361 --> 00:04:23,336
My Cephalopod Soulmate.
85
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:32,053
Oh, Lisa, your movie
was so sad and beautiful.
86
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,358
That poor octomapus.
87
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:35,895
Your movie really makes you
think about
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00:04:35,961 --> 00:04:38,332
the wondrous creature
beneath the batter
89
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:41,305
and the marinara sauce
and the...
90
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:46,182
Mmm, Lisa's friend.
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00:04:46,248 --> 00:04:48,419
I think I need some time alone.
92
00:04:48,486 --> 00:04:51,993
- Of course.
- Oh, sweetie, whatever you need.
93
00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:58,406
I won an award!
94
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:02,447
Well, actually,
we won an award.
95
00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:06,488
You want to watch it again?
96
00:05:16,508 --> 00:05:20,183
I know, I broke the code
and interfered.
97
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:23,891
Maybe I should give back
the trophy.
98
00:05:24,859 --> 00:05:28,432
Or we could do that.
Problem solved.
99
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:30,638
You're so smart.
100
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:33,476
Be patient.
101
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,148
They may test you at first,
but it's only because
102
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:39,187
of their terribly sad
home lives.
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00:05:39,288 --> 00:05:42,662
Hello, teachers.
My name is Rayshelle Peyton.
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00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:44,866
This is my first day,
so you'll have to tell me
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00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:46,870
all the inside jokes.
106
00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:51,646
I have a ruptured disk,
but I can't afford to stay home.
107
00:05:51,746 --> 00:05:56,155
I can't wait to hear
the story behind that.
108
00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,159
- Huh?
- Show of hands,
109
00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,361
who here is familiar
110
00:05:59,461 --> 00:06:01,165
with project-based learning?
111
00:06:04,471 --> 00:06:06,576
The reason I ask:
my last school did a project
112
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where each grade built a model
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00:06:08,079 --> 00:06:09,849
of one of the New Seven Wonders
of the World,
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00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:12,153
and for the next month,
all subjects--
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00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,391
math, art, history and science--
116
00:06:14,491 --> 00:06:18,767
were taught by designing
and building the project.
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00:06:19,702 --> 00:06:23,075
If you're undecided, I've got
a much longer presentation.
118
00:06:23,209 --> 00:06:24,879
Let me grab my puppets.
119
00:06:25,013 --> 00:06:27,551
Look, whatever is making
all this happen,
120
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:30,490
either adjust
the dosage or share.
121
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,294
Oh, I get it.
122
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,464
You don't want
to abandon the lessons
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00:06:34,531 --> 00:06:36,936
you've already
carefully prepared
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00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:41,913
to follow these
step-by-step plans.
125
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:44,484
The lessons
are already written out?
126
00:06:44,619 --> 00:06:46,422
This is like the HelloFresh
of teaching.
127
00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:49,227
I can be on cruise control
for a month.
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00:06:49,328 --> 00:06:51,131
I'm second grade.
What are we making?
129
00:06:51,231 --> 00:06:52,902
- Chichen Itza.
- Great.
130
00:06:53,002 --> 00:06:55,607
I'll start by finding out
what that is.
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00:06:56,876 --> 00:06:59,514
These self-portraits are gonna
help me get to know you better.
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00:06:59,582 --> 00:07:03,557
This way, I get to see you
the way you see you.
133
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,596
Wow.
134
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:08,600
Classic compulsive overachiever.
135
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:11,005
Relax, this isn't being graded.
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I mean, A+.
137
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:17,918
Uh, this is me beating up
Santa until he's my dad.
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Ah.
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Okay, violent,
140
00:07:21,091 --> 00:07:23,462
but he cares about
holidays and family.
141
00:07:23,529 --> 00:07:25,166
I can work with this.
142
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,772
That's a lot of glue.
143
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:30,243
How is that part
of your self-portrait?
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00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:32,948
Uh, um, uh--
because, you know, uh...
145
00:07:33,015 --> 00:07:36,856
m-my-my face always has,
u-uh, glue on it.
146
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,161
Oh. Really?
147
00:07:39,261 --> 00:07:40,664
Yeah, see?
148
00:07:40,698 --> 00:07:42,534
I am glue-face.
149
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:45,641
I have slept
for a thousand years.
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00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,878
Ow.
Oh!
151
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:50,383
That did not hurt.
152
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,557
Take me to
your principal, I-- Oh!
153
00:07:53,657 --> 00:07:56,195
Glue-face want door.
154
00:07:56,295 --> 00:07:58,232
Glue-face need restroom.
155
00:07:58,332 --> 00:08:01,105
What the hell
is wrong with this kid?
156
00:08:05,748 --> 00:08:08,119
Dude, what are you
157
00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:09,922
- doing in there?
- I know it's not a sidekick's place
158
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,494
to give notes,
but for the past few weeks,
159
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,131
nothing's landing.
160
00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:17,237
Really? I thought milk-nose
glitter sneeze landed.
161
00:08:17,337 --> 00:08:19,541
No. It did not land.
162
00:08:19,642 --> 00:08:22,882
- Really hard to look at.
- You don't seem in control.
163
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:26,756
We can't laugh at your clowning
if we're concerned about you.
164
00:08:26,856 --> 00:08:30,296
Why are you messing
with Ms. Peyton? She's nice.
165
00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:32,635
I don't know
why I do stuff, okay?
166
00:08:32,735 --> 00:08:35,473
I don't know
why I'm yelling now!
167
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,143
I'm not gonna noogie you,
168
00:08:37,177 --> 00:08:40,349
but when you think
about your actions today,
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I hope you noogie yourself.
170
00:08:46,328 --> 00:08:48,365
How'd you do that?
171
00:08:48,432 --> 00:08:50,169
Wait, no. What are you do--
172
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,806
No. No, no. Don't do that.
173
00:08:51,873 --> 00:08:54,244
No, no, no.
174
00:09:01,191 --> 00:09:06,034
There's supposed to be
a Krazy Krusty Ball in here.
175
00:09:07,103 --> 00:09:08,607
Huh.
176
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,543
That is a crazy ball.
177
00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,280
Uh, can I have it?
178
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:15,286
- Sure. Think fast.
- No, don't.
179
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:18,794
Oh, you inked.
180
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,996
Oh.
181
00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:23,335
Uh, you might not want
to eat that cereal.
182
00:09:23,402 --> 00:09:25,039
Hmm? Why not?
183
00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:26,976
Uh, no reason. No.
184
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:30,784
I'm just gonna go google
some toxicology stuff.
185
00:09:30,851 --> 00:09:33,990
Kids love Google.
186
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,761
Huh, using an X-Acto knife
187
00:09:35,828 --> 00:09:39,034
to make the Styrofoam look
like stone was a cool idea.
188
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:42,207
Wait, did I just use "cool"
to describe homework?
189
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,944
What is happening to me?
190
00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:45,747
Huh?
191
00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:56,636
This Friday, there's an assembly
to present the Seven Wonders.
192
00:09:56,703 --> 00:09:58,005
Your parents will be there,
193
00:09:58,072 --> 00:10:01,278
and they'll judge me
based on what you do.
194
00:10:01,345 --> 00:10:03,015
But no pressure.
195
00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:05,319
Well, a little pressure.
196
00:10:05,353 --> 00:10:06,890
Pressure makes diamonds.
197
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:10,163
Anyway, take your projects out
and get to work, please.
198
00:10:10,229 --> 00:10:13,770
Milhouse, I love how
you carved the Styrofoam
199
00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:16,475
to make it look like stones.
200
00:10:16,609 --> 00:10:19,114
I used an X-Acto knife.
201
00:10:20,817 --> 00:10:23,189
Bart. What's wrong?
202
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,759
I didn't mean to do that.
203
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:26,729
Great work, Milhouse.
204
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,800
I meant to do this.
205
00:10:29,969 --> 00:10:33,743
- Bart.
- I lost my fingerprints gluing that.
206
00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:36,215
We had to go to urgent care.
207
00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:38,753
I saw a drug addict!
208
00:10:43,429 --> 00:10:46,201
Now I've got
an octopus-proof tank
209
00:10:46,268 --> 00:10:49,507
with safety latch,
escape alarm, and...
210
00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:51,913
Where did-- where did you go?
211
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:55,186
♪ I'm a sucker for you, yeah ♪
212
00:10:55,286 --> 00:10:59,427
♪ You say the word
and I'll go anywhere blindly ♪
213
00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:01,799
♪ I'm a sucker for you, yeah ♪
214
00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:05,741
♪ Any road you take,
you know that you'll find me ♪
215
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:09,347
♪ I'm a sucker for all
the subliminal things ♪
216
00:11:09,414 --> 00:11:11,553
♪ No one knows about you ♪
217
00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:12,888
♪ About you, about you ♪
218
00:11:12,955 --> 00:11:16,028
♪ I'm a sucker for you. ♪
219
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:24,110
First of all,
I am enjoying Bart's energy.
220
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:27,083
Uh, uh, you don't have to say
nice stuff about Bart.
221
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,521
- We know the drill.
- Okay, good.
222
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,291
Just tell us
what's wrong with him.
223
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,964
To be honest, I'm not sure.
224
00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:36,201
I have tried
every intervention I know.
225
00:11:36,301 --> 00:11:39,307
Letting him be the teacher,
scaring him straight,
226
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,948
dunce caps, genius pants,
negging, Breakfast Clubbing,
227
00:11:43,048 --> 00:11:46,221
no recess, nothing but recess,
puppy stickers.
228
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,827
Oh. Bart's always
had his problems,
229
00:11:48,927 --> 00:11:51,666
but now it sounds like
they're turning into...
230
00:11:51,699 --> 00:11:53,837
...issues.
231
00:11:53,937 --> 00:11:57,277
Don't worry, I am going to get
to the bottom
232
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,247
of why he's acting out.
233
00:11:59,314 --> 00:12:02,120
Could each of you fill out this
child development questionnaire?
234
00:12:02,186 --> 00:12:04,759
You need to know how long
I was in labor?
235
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,631
Oh, does that question
bother you?
236
00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:10,637
No. No, not at all. I love it.
237
00:12:10,704 --> 00:12:14,612
Hey, Buddy, I think
I know why you've been
238
00:12:14,745 --> 00:12:16,649
such an unlikeable jerk lately.
239
00:12:16,716 --> 00:12:19,187
Someone has a little crush
on their teacher.
240
00:12:19,254 --> 00:12:22,460
Someone has a big crush
on being wrong.
241
00:12:22,594 --> 00:12:24,865
Come on, boy, open up to me.
I get it.
242
00:12:24,966 --> 00:12:27,170
I was in love
with my school nurse.
243
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:29,976
I would hurt myself on purpose
just to see her.
244
00:12:30,076 --> 00:12:33,482
I'd fall off the monkey bars,
bash my head into a wall,
245
00:12:33,515 --> 00:12:38,359
and sometimes I'd even
fall off the monkey bars.
246
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,098
Actually, there is something
I'm dealing with right now.
247
00:12:41,164 --> 00:12:43,502
- My dad's an idiot.
- Listen, you little...
248
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:47,176
I had brilliant advice
for how to handle a crush.
249
00:12:47,243 --> 00:12:50,216
But now,
I'm keeping it to myself.
250
00:12:50,316 --> 00:12:51,819
I've met her before.
251
00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:53,757
So? I've met people.
252
00:12:53,823 --> 00:12:57,063
Lisa, Maggie. Uh... you!
253
00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:59,935
No, I've met the teacher before.
254
00:13:00,002 --> 00:13:01,906
I'm opening up to you.
255
00:13:01,973 --> 00:13:05,146
Oh, okay. Well, go on, son.
256
00:13:05,246 --> 00:13:06,849
When Lisa was doing
her fish movie,
257
00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:08,987
Mom and I would
wait on the beach.
258
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:12,393
Some rich kid left a sand pail
from the fancy hotel.
259
00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:19,107
That bucket was my ticket
to the guests-only pool area.
260
00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:21,411
At first, it was pretty sweet.
261
00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:25,052
Then I tried a fancy dive
off the Tarzan swing.
262
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,123
A belly flop will knock
the wind out of you.
263
00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:29,762
Especially a belly
full of hot fudge.
264
00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:32,300
- I panicked, and suddenly,
265
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,574
I couldn't tread water,
no matter how hard I flailed.
266
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,845
And no one was noticing.
267
00:13:39,682 --> 00:13:41,218
But then...
268
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:51,906
Oh, God.
269
00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:53,977
Are-are you okay?
270
00:13:57,551 --> 00:13:59,454
What happened?
271
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:00,824
He can't swim.
272
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,126
That poor boy.
273
00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:05,667
Why did you do that? I was fine.
274
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:07,336
I'm an amazing swimmer.
275
00:14:07,437 --> 00:14:10,610
I-I'm, I'm sorry,
I-I thought that...
276
00:14:10,677 --> 00:14:12,113
I feel awful.
277
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,752
She ruined her dress
and I yelled at her.
278
00:14:14,852 --> 00:14:17,791
And my hand went in her mouth
for a second.
279
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:20,096
She doesn't recognize me, yet.
280
00:14:20,129 --> 00:14:23,469
But when she does,
she's gonna hate me.
281
00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:26,041
Every day I tell myself
to be invisible.
282
00:14:26,108 --> 00:14:28,512
Next thing I know,
I'm standing on my desk,
283
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,218
pretending to poop out
the class hamster.
284
00:14:31,284 --> 00:14:32,286
Hmm.
285
00:14:32,386 --> 00:14:36,128
What if you told her the...
whatchamacallit?
286
00:14:36,261 --> 00:14:38,332
- The truth?
- Yeah, that thing.
287
00:14:38,398 --> 00:14:40,937
You're right.
If it were out in the open,
288
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:43,142
she'd have nothing on me.
289
00:14:43,242 --> 00:14:45,680
Wow, you actually helped.
290
00:14:45,747 --> 00:14:47,116
I did. You know what?
291
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:49,822
I think I'm finally ready
to be a dad.
292
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,026
I'm gonna tell my wife!
293
00:14:56,535 --> 00:14:59,407
That's it. Ugh, you are not
safe in this house.
294
00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:02,480
Whew, you're coming
to school with me.
295
00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:07,891
Oh, this is great.
296
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,895
I'll come clean,
no more weirdness.
297
00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:12,266
I feel better already.
298
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,770
Hello.
299
00:15:16,742 --> 00:15:18,312
Hmm, isn't that interesting?
300
00:15:18,412 --> 00:15:20,216
She's married.
301
00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:32,106
Okay, I might be a teensy bit
in love with her.
302
00:15:49,608 --> 00:15:51,579
Dad, you were right.
303
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:52,881
I do have a crush on her.
304
00:15:52,948 --> 00:15:54,384
I saw Ms. Peyton
kiss her husband
305
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:57,290
and I Hulked out
on the water fountain.
306
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,795
Yeah, jealousy will
make you do crazy things.
307
00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:04,003
Once, a guy opened the door
for Marge, so I keyed his car.
308
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,506
Which was the school bus.
309
00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,611
Turned out he opened
the door for everybody.
310
00:16:07,644 --> 00:16:09,080
Except for me, after that.
311
00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:11,351
Well, jealousy is gonna
make me ruin this assembly.
312
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:13,422
- I can't stop myself.
- Ooh.
313
00:16:13,522 --> 00:16:16,294
You said you had great advice
on crushes. What is it?
314
00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:18,900
Here's what you need to know.
315
00:16:18,967 --> 00:16:20,937
You're a kid, she's a grown-up.
Get over it.
316
00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:23,475
That's your amazing advice?
317
00:16:23,576 --> 00:16:26,448
That's not advice,
that's just...
318
00:16:26,514 --> 00:16:27,718
...the truth.
319
00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:30,624
Look, sometimes there are
awesome things in this world
320
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:33,696
that aren't meant
to be your awesome thing.
321
00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,099
You got to let it go.
322
00:16:35,165 --> 00:16:37,938
Trust me,
there's other fish in the sea.
323
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,777
He's right. And you
should also be in the sea.
324
00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:43,148
Hunting and killing those fish.
325
00:16:45,319 --> 00:16:47,056
After school...
326
00:16:47,189 --> 00:16:50,329
...I'll take you
back to your home.
327
00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:53,903
Dad, what if I snap and totally
mess up the assembly?
328
00:16:54,037 --> 00:16:55,774
Vent on inanimate objects.
329
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,543
Punch a pillow, tear up Kleenex.
330
00:16:57,611 --> 00:17:00,917
I like to scream
into Pringles canisters.
331
00:17:00,984 --> 00:17:02,754
You can do this.
332
00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:05,526
Boom. Parenting is easy.
333
00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:09,835
- Mwah.
- Oh.
334
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:14,110
Okay, Homer said
to punch something soft.
335
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,047
There's nothing soft here.
336
00:17:16,147 --> 00:17:19,622
We are so excited to share
our school-wide project:
337
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:23,462
the New Seven Wonders
Of the World.
338
00:17:24,632 --> 00:17:28,005
I want to thank
my wonderful husband Darryl,
339
00:17:28,071 --> 00:17:30,710
who insisted
on providing the music.
340
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:39,828
Yeah, I get to hear that
all the time.
341
00:17:39,962 --> 00:17:42,166
Oh, man, he's in a band?
342
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:45,139
Oh, I can't compete with that.
343
00:17:45,205 --> 00:17:47,476
I need something to scream in.
344
00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,008
Simpson!
345
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:14,565
Good lord.
The Redeemer's on a rampage!
346
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:18,405
Styrofoam specks.
347
00:18:18,505 --> 00:18:20,643
Brushing just attracts
more of them.
348
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:24,785
Oh... Molly!
349
00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:28,960
My lids.
350
00:18:36,676 --> 00:18:39,147
Ms. Peyton, please don't
give up on this school
351
00:18:39,247 --> 00:18:41,652
because of one apex disrupter.
352
00:18:41,719 --> 00:18:43,690
Look, you can,
you can switch classes.
353
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,392
Ms. Hoover will teach Bart.
354
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,329
No way. I had him two years ago.
355
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,835
My hair fell out in clumps.
356
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:51,538
- I'm not taking him.
- No way.
357
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:53,676
I'd rather go back to prison.
358
00:19:00,189 --> 00:19:02,259
Ms. Peyton?
359
00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:04,765
I'm sorry I ruined everything.
360
00:19:04,898 --> 00:19:06,368
You probably won't believe this,
361
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:10,944
but I had an octopus
stuck to my face.
362
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,649
- I believe you.
- You do?
363
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,187
Yes, because I know,
364
00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:20,162
deep down, you want to be good.
365
00:19:20,229 --> 00:19:22,634
Also, your face is covered
in tentacle hickeys.
366
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:26,341
There's something
I need to tell you.
367
00:19:26,408 --> 00:19:30,550
Really? You didn't get
your fill of destruction today?
368
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:33,723
You're angry drowning boy.
369
00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:36,662
Oh, I-I'm so sorry. That's what
I call you in my head.
370
00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:39,133
I hope I didn't
embarrass you that day.
371
00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:40,837
I thought you needed help.
372
00:19:40,937 --> 00:19:43,175
I did, actually.
373
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:45,446
I had two sundaes
and some curly fries.
374
00:19:45,512 --> 00:19:47,483
It made me forget how to swim.
375
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,222
Anyway, thank you for seeing me.
376
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:51,491
You're welcome.
377
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,629
That's why I've been weird
around you.
378
00:19:53,696 --> 00:19:56,134
Also...
379
00:19:56,234 --> 00:19:57,737
I kind of like you.
380
00:19:57,804 --> 00:19:59,942
I did homework,
and I didn't mind it.
381
00:20:00,008 --> 00:20:01,679
Barf emoji.
382
00:20:01,746 --> 00:20:05,185
You know, a crush
on a teacher just means
383
00:20:05,252 --> 00:20:07,591
you're coming to love
a new part of yourself
384
00:20:07,657 --> 00:20:09,595
that I'm bringing out in you.
385
00:20:09,628 --> 00:20:14,537
So I actually have
a crush on myself?
386
00:20:14,605 --> 00:20:18,512
And now that you told me,
that'll be less weird, too.
387
00:20:18,579 --> 00:20:22,353
So, do you need help packing up?
388
00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:24,023
I'm staying.
389
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,595
A teacher teaches the good kids
and the nightmares.
390
00:20:26,662 --> 00:20:30,970
Not that you're a nightmare,
but I-I-- Y-You know.
391
00:20:31,037 --> 00:20:32,473
I know. My last teacher
392
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,043
had a little trick
that seemed to work.
393
00:20:34,143 --> 00:20:35,914
Oh, really?
394
00:20:36,014 --> 00:20:37,450
Oops.
395
00:20:40,389 --> 00:20:42,226
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
396
00:20:42,293 --> 00:20:44,130
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
397
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:45,834
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
398
00:20:45,934 --> 00:20:47,637
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
399
00:21:16,027 --> 00:21:17,296
Hmph.
400
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:20,202
What? I'm part of nature, too.
401
00:21:32,761 --> 00:21:33,729
Shh!