1
00:00:06,455 --> 00:00:08,526
(band playing
"Mary Had a Little Lamb")
2
00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:15,240
♪ Mary's rolling in her grave ♪
3
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,779
♪ I'd like to join her now. ♪
4
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,181
(door opens)
5
00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:21,252
I come bearing
an important communiqué.
6
00:00:21,352 --> 00:00:23,857
It's from the marching band
director at Springfield High.
7
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,030
Oh, did he get his swollen head
stuck in a French horn?
8
00:00:27,097 --> 00:00:29,101
Uh, there's no mention of that.
9
00:00:29,201 --> 00:00:31,673
But it seems one of the band's
most important musicians
10
00:00:31,773 --> 00:00:35,013
injured his middle toe doing
a high step in double-time.
11
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,152
- (all gasp)
- That's footwork suicide!
12
00:00:38,219 --> 00:00:39,823
They need
a replacement sax player,
13
00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:42,160
and they've requested...
Lisa Simpson.
14
00:00:42,261 --> 00:00:44,699
Me, in the high school band?
15
00:00:44,766 --> 00:00:47,504
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
16
00:00:47,605 --> 00:00:50,443
One yes would suffice.
Pack your sax, Lisa,
17
00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,414
you're moving up to high school.
18
00:00:52,447 --> 00:00:53,851
Three days a week after school,
19
00:00:53,917 --> 00:00:55,688
otherwise you're still
in second grade.
20
00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,196
I finally get
to play with people
21
00:01:00,263 --> 00:01:03,136
who respect music theory
and tradition.
22
00:01:03,202 --> 00:01:04,873
Teenagers!
23
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:08,413
Class, we have
a new baritone sax player.
24
00:01:08,547 --> 00:01:10,150
Direct from
Springfield Elementary.
25
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,920
(coughing):
Largo's losers.
26
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,757
Hi. Hello.
27
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,160
Now, if you'll turn to page 12
28
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,130
in your marching band songbook.
29
00:01:17,197 --> 00:01:19,869
The theme to Hawaii Five-O?!
Wow!
30
00:01:19,936 --> 00:01:22,407
Yeah, Mr. Orlando is cool.
31
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:25,781
We do 50-year-old songs
instead of 100-year-old songs.
32
00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:29,488
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
33
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:36,435
Shauna Chalmers,
thank you for joining us.
34
00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:38,439
I'm gonna call you James Corden,
35
00:01:38,539 --> 00:01:40,544
because you're
a late, late show.
36
00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:42,280
(laughter)
37
00:01:42,381 --> 00:01:44,518
He totally relates to us
on our level.
38
00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:45,655
Mm.
39
00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:47,592
- Burnout.
- Waste case.
40
00:01:47,659 --> 00:01:49,028
Third-chair slacker.
41
00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:50,965
Shut up, woodwinds.
42
00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:52,367
Okay, from the top.
43
00:01:52,434 --> 00:01:55,306
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
44
00:01:58,681 --> 00:01:59,749
Okay, cut.
45
00:01:59,849 --> 00:02:02,154
Apparently Supertramp
isn't giving us the rights
46
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:04,058
to "Goodbye Stranger."
47
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,895
(students protesting)
48
00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:08,567
No...
49
00:02:09,736 --> 00:02:12,675
Shauna! I didn't know
you played drums.
50
00:02:12,742 --> 00:02:16,349
And I didn't know some tiny band
dork was gonna talk to me.
51
00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:18,587
It's me, Lisa Simpson?
52
00:02:18,654 --> 00:02:20,123
You babysat for us.
53
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,793
Last Saturday night.
54
00:02:21,927 --> 00:02:23,262
TikTok is dumb.
55
00:02:23,329 --> 00:02:26,102
Well, anyway,
your drumming's really good.
56
00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:27,504
Wow.
57
00:02:27,638 --> 00:02:30,377
Dear diary,
today I got a compliment
58
00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:34,017
from a rando about something
I don't care about.
59
00:02:34,084 --> 00:02:36,155
(gasps)
I have a diary, too!
60
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,560
(exhales)
Oh.
61
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:39,729
(moans softly)
62
00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:44,138
People were playing eighth notes
like it was nothing.
63
00:02:44,238 --> 00:02:46,676
Band kids are the coolest kids
in high school.
64
00:02:46,777 --> 00:02:49,649
No fair.
Lisa gets to go to high school?
65
00:02:49,749 --> 00:02:51,385
I was supposed
to be King of the Burnouts
66
00:02:51,452 --> 00:02:52,822
before she even got there.
67
00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:55,360
Well, son, I guess Lisa's
just unusually bright.
68
00:02:55,427 --> 00:02:58,834
She gets it from me.
(shouts)
69
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,303
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
70
00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:02,340
I left all my sheet music
at school.
71
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,712
I have to go get it.
72
00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:08,453
Ah...
73
00:03:13,597 --> 00:03:14,899
Hmm?
74
00:03:14,966 --> 00:03:17,437
(drums playing)
75
00:03:18,841 --> 00:03:20,911
- Shauna!
- I'm Shauna!
76
00:03:20,978 --> 00:03:23,049
Did you stay late to practice?
77
00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,986
No way. As if.
78
00:03:25,053 --> 00:03:27,324
You're practicing. Being stupid.
79
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,963
You don't need to.
You're great at it.
80
00:03:30,029 --> 00:03:32,000
I'm jealous.
81
00:03:33,136 --> 00:03:35,975
Shauna, we share
a passion for music.
82
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,212
(gasps)
Do you want to jam?
83
00:03:38,312 --> 00:03:40,383
Yeah, jam this stick in my eye
84
00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:42,722
if this conversation
goes on another second.
85
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,724
Gah.
86
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,128
Fine! But I'm not afraid
to admit that music
87
00:03:46,195 --> 00:03:48,634
means something to me,
unlike you.
88
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:51,573
(imitating Shauna):
You're Shauna.
89
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:54,946
Hey!
90
00:03:54,979 --> 00:03:56,950
I'm sorry if
I was mean back there...
91
00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:58,419
little weirdo.
92
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:00,056
I really don't know
how to take that.
93
00:04:00,123 --> 00:04:02,562
Well, maybe we can talk about it
tomorrow at my house...
94
00:04:02,628 --> 00:04:04,933
when you come over to jam.
95
00:04:04,966 --> 00:04:06,202
(gasps)
I'd love to!
96
00:04:06,302 --> 00:04:07,805
Where do you live?
97
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,208
Okay, stalker.
98
00:04:09,341 --> 00:04:11,045
(groans)
99
00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:16,556
Oh, hello, Lisa Simpson.
100
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,526
And how are you
this fine evening?
101
00:04:18,594 --> 00:04:22,234
Dad, stop interrogating people,
you fascist!
102
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,570
Hmm.
103
00:04:24,371 --> 00:04:27,477
Wow, you're really rude
to your dad.
104
00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:30,283
Thanks. That's actually
the reason I got into drums.
105
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,622
To drive him crazy.
106
00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:33,824
But then I...
107
00:04:33,891 --> 00:04:36,061
Turns out,
I really like playing music.
108
00:04:36,128 --> 00:04:38,132
It takes the suck out of things.
109
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:40,336
It does take
the suck out of things.
110
00:04:40,436 --> 00:04:42,875
(gasps)
I just said a light swear.
111
00:04:42,975 --> 00:04:45,280
- (both laugh)
- (knocking)
112
00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,384
Well, sounds like you
girls are having fun.
113
00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:48,887
How would you know?!
114
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:50,591
(sighs)
Yes. Well, uh,
115
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,562
dinner's almost ready, dear.
116
00:04:52,662 --> 00:04:54,699
Lisa and I are eating
at the mall.
117
00:04:54,766 --> 00:04:57,437
I've been hand-rolling
gnocchi all day.
118
00:04:57,537 --> 00:04:59,408
Stop touching my food.
119
00:04:59,474 --> 00:05:01,445
Food-toucher.
120
00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:05,554
Look at all this science stuff.
121
00:05:05,621 --> 00:05:07,224
Are you building a Frankenstein?
122
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,861
'Cause if you are,
you have to tell me.
123
00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:11,566
Ah, yes.
Uh, you're here to pick up Lisa.
124
00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:14,906
She's at the mall with my,
uh, challenging daughter.
125
00:05:14,973 --> 00:05:18,446
Eh, tell me something, Simpson,
do you like beer?
126
00:05:18,512 --> 00:05:21,018
Hmm, I never thought about it.
127
00:05:21,118 --> 00:05:23,122
(glugging)
128
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:27,097
Well, I've been brewing
my own Belgian ale
129
00:05:27,163 --> 00:05:29,268
in the style
of the Trappist monks.
130
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:31,238
It's a,
it's a stupid hobby really.
131
00:05:31,305 --> 00:05:33,009
(laughs)
That is stupid.
132
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,511
I buy my beer in a bar.
133
00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:36,181
I-I'm sure you do.
134
00:05:36,282 --> 00:05:38,085
But, uh, just take a sip.
135
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,664
(choir singing)
136
00:05:45,668 --> 00:05:48,406
This is the most delicious drink
137
00:05:48,506 --> 00:05:51,312
I ever drank
that could get me drunk.
138
00:05:51,378 --> 00:05:52,615
You made this?
139
00:05:52,682 --> 00:05:54,552
Yes, I did. If you'd like,
140
00:05:54,652 --> 00:05:58,059
I could show you how to brew it
using these simple ingredients.
141
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,931
Beer has ingredients?
142
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:02,602
What the hell?
143
00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:05,106
(glugging)
144
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,977
You have so much to teach me.
145
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:08,981
(burps)
146
00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:12,955
Okay, worked there,
got fired there.
147
00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:15,794
Got unfairly accused
of shoplifting there.
148
00:06:15,861 --> 00:06:19,034
Oh, shoplifted
a ton of stuff there.
149
00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:21,138
Wow, you've really lived.
150
00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:22,942
In this end of the mall, sure.
151
00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:24,478
Cool!
152
00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,115
A selfie machine.
153
00:06:26,215 --> 00:06:28,787
(camera clicking)
154
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,662
Ooh, A Prom Before Dying.
155
00:06:32,728 --> 00:06:35,099
I read that book.
It's about two teenagers
156
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:39,174
who fall in love despite
only having 45 minutes to live.
157
00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,744
Sounds stupid.
158
00:06:40,811 --> 00:06:43,449
Let's go see it. It's on me.
159
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:46,355
LISA: Shauna's so great.
She's like a fun, older friend
160
00:06:46,455 --> 00:06:48,827
who's mean to me for no reason.
161
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:51,332
But somehow I really want
to hang out with her.
162
00:06:51,465 --> 00:06:54,071
What do you call that?
163
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:56,275
Um, she seems young for a movie
164
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,446
with adult themes.
165
00:06:58,512 --> 00:07:00,283
You have to let her in.
166
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:01,886
I'm her big sister.
167
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,892
LISA: (gasps)
That's it-- big sister!
168
00:07:05,026 --> 00:07:08,432
Now let's go watch teenage
sickos make out, then croak...
169
00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:11,005
- little sis.
- (giggles)
170
00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:18,987
(smooth jazz music playing)
171
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,261
♪ Shauna, two, three, four ♪
172
00:07:39,361 --> 00:07:41,398
♪ Is my new three, four ♪
173
00:07:41,465 --> 00:07:44,739
♪ Super awesome,
three, four, sister! ♪
174
00:07:48,747 --> 00:07:51,218
You've made a very fussy enemy.
175
00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:53,089
Well... later, losers!
176
00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:56,295
That's what Shauna and I
call people who aren't us.
177
00:07:56,362 --> 00:07:58,532
Isn't that cute?
178
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,769
HOMER:
Hmm.
179
00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:02,742
Hmm, I'm not sure
Shauna's the best influence.
180
00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:05,413
She always seems
like she's so over it.
181
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,818
Even when "it" is
something nice.
182
00:08:07,885 --> 00:08:10,791
Yep, teens are garbage.
(chuckles)
183
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,695
Anyway, I'm off to 'Mers.
184
00:08:12,762 --> 00:08:14,464
Don't you mean Moe's?
185
00:08:14,565 --> 00:08:16,168
No, Chalmers.
186
00:08:16,268 --> 00:08:19,609
Now there's a different
sad, old man getting me drunk.
187
00:08:20,577 --> 00:08:23,349
♪ Before we commence
a new batch ♪
188
00:08:23,449 --> 00:08:25,621
♪ Let us chug deep the last ♪
189
00:08:25,687 --> 00:08:28,994
♪ Of the old. ♪
190
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:34,806
(harmonic burping)
191
00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:40,483
Oh, man.
192
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:42,822
Art thou as hammered as I?
193
00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:45,828
Yes, verily, but, Homer,
Trappist brewing
194
00:08:45,894 --> 00:08:48,800
is about more
than just drinking the beer.
195
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,606
It's about the traditions
of the Belgian monks
196
00:08:51,673 --> 00:08:54,511
who created this divine quaff.
197
00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,150
(festive music playing)
198
00:09:02,561 --> 00:09:03,930
(retching)
199
00:09:03,997 --> 00:09:06,301
See, that's what I like
about home brewing.
200
00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:09,609
You're there when it enters
the world, so full of promise.
201
00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,581
And you know that if you pour
your heart and hard work
202
00:09:12,648 --> 00:09:15,386
into it,
it won't tell you it's pregnant
203
00:09:15,453 --> 00:09:17,123
just to mess with you.
204
00:09:18,259 --> 00:09:20,496
Simpson!
205
00:09:20,597 --> 00:09:22,534
- Hmm?
- I think it's time for you
206
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:25,339
to brew this next batch
on your own.
207
00:09:25,406 --> 00:09:27,010
You think I'm ready?
208
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:30,918
Oh, I sense
great drunkenness in you.
209
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:32,153
♪ ♪
210
00:09:32,253 --> 00:09:36,295
Mm. I didn't think
he'd transform on page one,
211
00:09:36,361 --> 00:09:38,767
but I'm not complaining.
212
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,138
(playing DJ Kool's
"Let Me Clear My Throat")
213
00:09:41,238 --> 00:09:43,242
My horror-romance!
214
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,395
Messing with parents
is the best.
215
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,142
Wow, Shauna, you're so good!
216
00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:03,650
I've been thinking, you should
try out for lead drummer.
217
00:10:03,783 --> 00:10:05,486
They would never give that
to me.
218
00:10:05,554 --> 00:10:08,392
Even if I wanted it,
which I don't.
219
00:10:08,492 --> 00:10:10,429
Why won't you shut up
about this?
220
00:10:10,530 --> 00:10:12,701
Mmm, these Cheetos are cheesy.
221
00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:14,872
Shauna, listen,
the last thing I'd ever do
222
00:10:14,939 --> 00:10:18,312
is imply that you care,
but I think you're a star.
223
00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:20,817
And stars are meant to shine.
224
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:22,788
So if you won't do this
for yourself,
225
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,592
will you do it for me?
226
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,896
Uh...
227
00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:29,234
I think I have
cheese dust in my eyes.
228
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:31,138
Fine, I'll do the audition.
229
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:33,108
But only to shut you up.
230
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,077
Yes!
231
00:10:34,144 --> 00:10:36,515
Mind if I celebrate
with a sax solo?
232
00:10:36,549 --> 00:10:38,687
Oh, that'd be great.
233
00:10:38,753 --> 00:10:41,325
(chuckles)
Sarcasm noted.
234
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,197
♪ ♪
235
00:10:50,744 --> 00:10:52,347
Huzzah, big brother!
236
00:10:52,447 --> 00:10:54,084
Thank you, petit frère.
237
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:55,954
(both giggling)
238
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:59,194
Next audition...
Shauna Chalmers?!
239
00:10:59,294 --> 00:11:00,597
I am so out of here.
240
00:11:00,664 --> 00:11:01,933
Mm.
241
00:11:04,839 --> 00:11:07,377
(inhales, exhales)
242
00:11:21,371 --> 00:11:23,475
(crying)
243
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,187
(crowd cheering)
244
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:30,791
(giggling)
245
00:11:33,462 --> 00:11:34,899
♪ ♪
246
00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:42,380
ALL:
Shauna!
247
00:11:42,513 --> 00:11:44,351
(cheering)
248
00:11:44,451 --> 00:11:46,455
Shauna, that was great!
249
00:11:46,521 --> 00:11:49,562
(whispers): I won't tell anyone
how hard you practiced.
250
00:11:49,662 --> 00:11:50,831
Like I care.
251
00:11:50,897 --> 00:11:52,100
(whispers):
Thanks.
252
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,206
Um, Shauna, I'm sorry
to bother you,
253
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,443
but I'm Trevor McBride,
star quarterback.
254
00:11:57,543 --> 00:11:59,548
Cool bio, Jock Cousteau.
255
00:11:59,582 --> 00:12:00,817
What do you want?
256
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:02,755
Well, um,
I couldn't help but noticing
257
00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:05,359
that you blew my mind tonight
with your drumming.
258
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,698
I'm having a pool party
at my house tomorrow.
259
00:12:07,831 --> 00:12:09,367
- Do you want to come?
- Mm.
260
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,673
Of course, your band friends
are invited, too.
261
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:13,877
Sure. I guess.
262
00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:16,014
"Sure" and "I guess"?
263
00:12:16,114 --> 00:12:17,383
Crushing it!
264
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:18,787
I don't know. I've never been
265
00:12:18,853 --> 00:12:20,691
to a teen party before.
266
00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:22,828
Don't worry, you'll be
with your big sis.
267
00:12:22,895 --> 00:12:25,533
Whatevs, it's all good, NBD.
268
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,573
What am I saying?
It's a huge BD!
269
00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:30,744
- (giggles)
- Oh, I forgot to mention.
270
00:12:30,811 --> 00:12:32,948
Everyone has to bring
a beer to get in.
271
00:12:33,048 --> 00:12:36,221
Huh, I think I have
a hookup for some brews.
272
00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:38,827
Hmm. Warm caramel color,
273
00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:40,797
the foam is
immaculately bubbled.
274
00:12:40,864 --> 00:12:43,335
Beautifully brewed,
Brother Homer.
275
00:12:43,435 --> 00:12:44,504
♪ ♪
276
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,508
Today, you have truly become
277
00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:49,047
my padre from another madre.
278
00:12:49,114 --> 00:12:50,383
(chuckles)
279
00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:54,424
I wish only to be worthy
of our humble labels.
280
00:12:55,493 --> 00:12:57,731
- (both chuckle)
- SHAUNA: Daddy?
281
00:12:57,798 --> 00:12:59,602
I know I've been kind of
a B-word lately.
282
00:12:59,669 --> 00:13:02,641
That stands for Brenda.
She's this total bitch I know.
283
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:04,912
So Lisa and I want
to apologize by, like,
284
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:06,816
putting on a little show
for you.
285
00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:09,521
Shauna, that is
so thoughtful and-and...
286
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,124
Just shut up
and come in the house!
287
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,663
You're so embarrassing!
Both of you!
288
00:13:13,763 --> 00:13:15,934
BOTH:
Sorry, Shauna.
289
00:13:24,785 --> 00:13:25,721
(tires screech)
290
00:13:25,787 --> 00:13:27,558
Awesome! This beer is exactly
291
00:13:27,624 --> 00:13:29,361
where the chick
said it would be.
292
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:30,764
Her name is Shauna!
293
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,467
Learn three things
about her that don't have
294
00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:35,039
to do with her looks,
or you're off the team!
295
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,310
(playing jazz music)
296
00:13:40,349 --> 00:13:43,656
Wonderful. Shauna and I
are finally connecting.
297
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,694
We're just like
the Gilmore Girls.
298
00:13:45,794 --> 00:13:47,998
(chuckles)
And I'm Lorelai.
299
00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:51,138
(whispers):
I'm so happy for you.
300
00:13:52,908 --> 00:13:54,177
(clicks)
301
00:13:57,283 --> 00:13:58,686
♪ ♪
302
00:13:58,753 --> 00:14:00,757
What?
303
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:02,895
- Bravissima! Yes!
- Yeah! (whooping)
304
00:14:02,961 --> 00:14:05,199
- Wonderful, wonderful!
- Yeah! All right!
305
00:14:11,712 --> 00:14:14,084
Welcome to the pool party, ladies.
306
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,620
We've got pizza, burgers--
307
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:17,290
possible and Impossible--
308
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,895
and hella soda,
courtesy of my parents.
309
00:14:19,962 --> 00:14:21,866
BOTH:
Love you, T-Man!
310
00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:23,970
(lively chatter)
311
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:26,074
Oh, my God!
312
00:14:26,141 --> 00:14:27,945
It's a little girl
with a saxophone.
313
00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:29,548
So cute.
314
00:14:29,615 --> 00:14:31,552
Play us a song, Saxophone Girl.
315
00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,288
Okay, sure.
316
00:14:33,388 --> 00:14:35,059
♪ ♪
317
00:14:35,126 --> 00:14:36,929
I don't care what people say.
318
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:39,935
I just think music is one
of the coolest sounds out there.
319
00:14:40,035 --> 00:14:41,639
Want to kiss about it?
320
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,509
Duh.
321
00:14:44,879 --> 00:14:46,381
Trev,
322
00:14:46,414 --> 00:14:48,620
Mom and I are going to one
of those fun escape rooms
323
00:14:48,686 --> 00:14:49,955
in another city.
324
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,525
Is it okay with you
that we won't
325
00:14:51,592 --> 00:14:52,995
be back for seven hours?
326
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,132
Oh, don't worry
about them, Brian.
327
00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:56,501
It's almost nightfall.
328
00:14:56,569 --> 00:14:59,240
That's when teen pizza parties
generally break up.
329
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:00,777
Bye.
330
00:15:00,877 --> 00:15:02,046
(engine starts)
331
00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:03,750
Well, party's over.
332
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:06,455
Now let's make
two separate recycling piles.
333
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:08,325
JOHNNY JOE:
The beer...
334
00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:09,995
is here!
335
00:15:10,095 --> 00:15:12,300
(all cheering, clamoring)
336
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:16,007
(electronic dance music playing)
337
00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,524
Uh, this is like
one of those TV shows
338
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,662
I'm not supposed to watch.
339
00:15:30,035 --> 00:15:32,039
- Our beer, someone stole it!
- (Homer gasps)
340
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,945
But I brewed that
with the malt of my loins.
341
00:15:35,045 --> 00:15:36,749
(crying)
342
00:15:36,883 --> 00:15:38,686
Oh, God,
please don't let Shauna have
343
00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:40,022
anything to do with this.
344
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,659
I'm gonna check
her social media.
345
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:43,495
She lets you follow her?
346
00:15:43,596 --> 00:15:44,632
Of course not.
347
00:15:44,765 --> 00:15:46,501
I follow her as "Rodrigo,"
348
00:15:46,602 --> 00:15:49,207
a goth teen from Argentina.
349
00:15:49,274 --> 00:15:50,176
Mm.
350
00:15:50,276 --> 00:15:52,614
Oh, dear God,
that so-called pool party
351
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:55,219
is a bona fide rager!
352
00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:56,388
(gasps)
353
00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:59,929
Our homebrewed beer is
inebriating these minors.
354
00:16:00,029 --> 00:16:01,566
We have to go save them.
355
00:16:01,599 --> 00:16:04,204
The beers I mean,
from those awful teens!
356
00:16:04,304 --> 00:16:07,443
Excuse me, have you seen Shauna?
357
00:16:07,543 --> 00:16:09,047
Big sister?
358
00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:11,418
Cool, it's a metal beer bong.
359
00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:13,690
Thanks.
360
00:16:13,756 --> 00:16:15,125
(gasps)
361
00:16:15,927 --> 00:16:17,496
(glugging)
362
00:16:17,598 --> 00:16:19,467
(wails)
363
00:16:19,534 --> 00:16:21,071
Hello, emergency?
364
00:16:21,171 --> 00:16:23,542
I'd like to report
the abandonment of a minor.
365
00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:25,446
The minor is me!
(sobbing)
366
00:16:25,547 --> 00:16:28,418
Hurry, this party is
out of control!
367
00:16:28,518 --> 00:16:29,688
What are you doing?
368
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:32,861
Did you just narc out the party,
you party narc?
369
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:34,163
Where were you?!
370
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:36,334
I was with Trevor, getting some.
371
00:16:36,401 --> 00:16:38,840
- Some what?
- Some smooches.
372
00:16:38,907 --> 00:16:40,644
- Duh!
- Your turn.
373
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:42,548
You give me that!
374
00:16:42,614 --> 00:16:44,484
Oh, no, this is terrible.
375
00:16:44,552 --> 00:16:47,123
Homer, we need to get
every one of those bottles,
376
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,628
or my superintending days
are over.
377
00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:51,666
(Homer whimpering)
378
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,876
You abandoned me.
379
00:16:56,976 --> 00:16:58,512
And I was really scared.
380
00:16:58,613 --> 00:17:02,053
I thought big sisters were
supposed to take care of you.
381
00:17:02,119 --> 00:17:04,257
And I thought little sisters
weren't supposed
382
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,696
to be stupid, snitchy babies.
383
00:17:06,796 --> 00:17:09,434
I am not a stupid, snitchy baby!
384
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,872
(crying)
385
00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:13,241
- (lively chatter)
- ♪ ♪
386
00:17:13,308 --> 00:17:14,979
It's worse than we thought, Chief.
387
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:16,649
This party's not just epic.
388
00:17:16,716 --> 00:17:18,218
It's legendary.
389
00:17:18,352 --> 00:17:21,524
Now, who could have given
these teens so much beer?
390
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:23,796
Uh, good evening,
Your Eminences.
391
00:17:23,863 --> 00:17:25,199
May God be with you.
392
00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:27,203
Chief, those are no monks!
393
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:29,842
- (Wiggum gasps)
- (both clamoring)
394
00:17:29,908 --> 00:17:31,746
You two are under arrest
395
00:17:31,846 --> 00:17:33,448
for subjecting these kids
396
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:35,887
to the best night
of their lives.
397
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:38,125
Well, there goes my career
and my pension.
398
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,797
Oh, and also
I'm going to prison.
399
00:17:40,897 --> 00:17:43,135
(laughing)
400
00:17:44,337 --> 00:17:46,341
- (Homer whimpers)
- LOU: Chief?
401
00:17:46,408 --> 00:17:48,312
I just breathalyzed
all these teens.
402
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,650
They're all blowing 0.0.
403
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,988
Dear God, they're already dead!
404
00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:55,827
This beer contains no alcohol.
405
00:17:57,196 --> 00:17:59,167
Simpson, you-you glorious idiot.
406
00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:01,004
You forgot to add the yeast.
407
00:18:01,071 --> 00:18:02,239
What forgot the who?
408
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,845
No fermentation means
no intoxication.
409
00:18:04,912 --> 00:18:06,916
Mwah!
Your incompetence
410
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:09,020
just saved our cowls.
411
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,692
Attention teens,
you are not drunk.
412
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,395
Repeat-- not drunk.
413
00:18:13,462 --> 00:18:16,067
Please examine
your outrageous behavior
414
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:18,773
through a lens
of newfound self-awareness.
415
00:18:18,873 --> 00:18:21,511
Please use this experience
416
00:18:21,579 --> 00:18:24,250
to better understand
the pressures you're all under,
417
00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:27,089
and have more compassion
for your friends,
418
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,795
teachers, parents,
and most of all,
419
00:18:29,895 --> 00:18:32,099
yourselves. Over.
420
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,938
You bungling brewmasters
are free to go.
421
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,341
My career.
422
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:38,813
It's saved.
(laughing)
423
00:18:38,913 --> 00:18:40,049
Yes.
424
00:18:40,149 --> 00:18:43,422
Whoa, Rodrigo
from Instagram is crying
425
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,325
at our party!
426
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,631
Let's comfort him.
427
00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:49,033
(crying)
428
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,937
All right, yeah...
(chuckles)
429
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,408
Yes, all right.
430
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,549
Sweetie, what are you doing
at a teenager party?
431
00:18:56,615 --> 00:18:58,085
Shauna brought me!
432
00:18:58,151 --> 00:19:00,757
But I never want
to see her stupid face again!
433
00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:02,193
(crying)
434
00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,730
- Dad...
- Mm.
435
00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:05,332
MARGE:
Oh, Lisa.
436
00:19:05,432 --> 00:19:07,236
It's been a week now.
437
00:19:07,269 --> 00:19:09,273
Are you still upset
about Shauna?
438
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:12,113
I really did think of her
like a sister.
439
00:19:12,146 --> 00:19:15,185
Well, you still have
your real sister.
440
00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,525
- Hmm?
- (Maggie giggling)
441
00:19:21,164 --> 00:19:23,101
Well, your father and I
are headed out.
442
00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,172
We're gonna spend
some Mommy-Daddy time.
443
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:27,410
Marge, did you get
the hotel room?
444
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,750
Because I got the chants
and the incense.
445
00:19:30,817 --> 00:19:32,754
Ave Maria.
446
00:19:32,821 --> 00:19:34,090
(doorbell rings)
447
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:36,127
That must be the babysitter.
448
00:19:36,194 --> 00:19:37,697
Hmm?
449
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,402
Oh, hello.
450
00:19:40,436 --> 00:19:42,373
You look... well.
451
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,210
Thanks.
I thought I might see you here
452
00:19:44,277 --> 00:19:46,849
at the house you live in.
453
00:19:48,318 --> 00:19:49,788
What's going on here?
454
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,126
Well, whatever it is,
the awkwardness is...
455
00:19:52,193 --> 00:19:53,696
(smooches)
...delicious.
456
00:19:53,796 --> 00:19:55,934
(laughs)
457
00:19:56,034 --> 00:19:58,305
So, how's the marching band?
458
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,242
I can't believe
they made me quit
459
00:20:00,309 --> 00:20:01,946
when that kid's toe healed.
460
00:20:02,012 --> 00:20:03,883
I hate Western medicine.
461
00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:05,419
Oh, I quit, too.
462
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:08,325
I started a punk band, where I'm
the drummer and the singer.
463
00:20:08,425 --> 00:20:10,262
Just like Phil Collins!
464
00:20:10,329 --> 00:20:11,732
Okay, got to go.
465
00:20:11,799 --> 00:20:14,103
We're called
Brenda and the B-words.
466
00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:15,940
I never would have done it
without all that
467
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,011
stupid confidence you gave me.
468
00:20:18,145 --> 00:20:20,449
Wow, that's actually
really nice to hear.
469
00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:22,554
Shut up, it wasn't meant to be.
470
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,323
Anyway, I brought my drums.
471
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:25,827
You want to jam?
472
00:20:25,894 --> 00:20:27,196
I'd like that.
473
00:20:27,263 --> 00:20:29,167
Oh, dear God, no.
474
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,937
♪ ♪
475
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,816
Aah!
(grunts)
476
00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:52,346
("You Can Count on Me"
by Sammy Davis playing)
477
00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:56,856
♪ If you get in trouble ♪
478
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,327
♪ Bring it home to me ♪
479
00:20:59,393 --> 00:21:02,466
♪ Whether I am near you ♪
480
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:06,274
♪ Or across the sea ♪
481
00:21:06,374 --> 00:21:09,648
♪ I will think
of something to do ♪
482
00:21:09,748 --> 00:21:12,319
♪ I'll be on the lookout
for you ♪
483
00:21:12,419 --> 00:21:14,090
♪ And I'll find you ♪
484
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,896
♪ You can count on me ♪
485
00:21:16,962 --> 00:21:20,803
♪ You can count on,
you can count on ♪
486
00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:23,074
♪ You can count on ♪
487
00:21:23,141 --> 00:21:24,510
♪ Count on me. ♪
488
00:21:24,578 --> 00:21:26,080
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
489
00:21:26,181 --> 00:21:27,416
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
490
00:21:27,516 --> 00:21:28,953
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
491
00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:31,659
Shh!
492
00:21:33,729 --> 00:21:35,967
Captioned by
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