1 00:00:07,384 --> 00:00:09,619 Hmm? Mm. 2 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,755 - Don't pick it. - D'oh! 3 00:00:14,024 --> 00:00:16,226 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:24,935 --> 00:00:26,770 498... 5 00:00:26,836 --> 00:00:28,338 499... 6 00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:30,440 It's time. 7 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,778 ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:34,844 --> 00:00:37,047 It's time. 9 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:44,254 I'm sorry. We're going to have to pull the plug. 10 00:00:44,387 --> 00:00:46,056 It's time. 11 00:00:46,189 --> 00:00:48,858 See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha! 12 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,060 (groaning) 13 00:00:50,126 --> 00:00:52,329 (rhythmic beats) 14 00:00:54,631 --> 00:00:55,765 All ears on me! 15 00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:57,000 (feedback screeches) 16 00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:59,135 For 37 years, we've played shuffleboard 17 00:00:59,202 --> 00:01:01,238 against our crosstown rivals. 18 00:01:01,304 --> 00:01:04,140 The Golden Exits Retirement Farm. 19 00:01:04,174 --> 00:01:06,009 (others booing) 20 00:01:06,076 --> 00:01:08,111 Those rich snobs think they're better than us, 21 00:01:08,178 --> 00:01:10,714 with their yoga classes, 22 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,749 and their aquacise, 23 00:01:12,816 --> 00:01:15,719 and their name-brand applesauce. 24 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:16,953 (grunts) 25 00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:18,722 (cheering, clamoring) 26 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,590 But today we show them 27 00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:22,192 what we can do! 28 00:01:22,292 --> 00:01:25,028 Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts! 29 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,330 OTHERS: Can't lose! 30 00:01:29,733 --> 00:01:31,935 (alert buzzing) 31 00:01:32,068 --> 00:01:34,404 Aw, they want something. 32 00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:37,707 (Muzak playing) 33 00:01:39,776 --> 00:01:42,779 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:48,251 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,322 (exclaims) 36 00:01:53,123 --> 00:01:55,892 No fair. The other team's got a ringer. 37 00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:57,794 ♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪ 38 00:01:57,861 --> 00:01:59,629 ♪ 200,000 miles ♪ 39 00:01:59,696 --> 00:02:01,264 ♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪ 40 00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:03,300 ♪ Got it for graduation. ♪ 41 00:02:07,203 --> 00:02:09,773 (somber fanfare plays) 42 00:02:17,714 --> 00:02:19,049 (siren wails) 43 00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:20,183 (person coughs) 44 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,318 Mm. 45 00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:23,486 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:31,494 (cheering, clamoring) 47 00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:32,662 We win! 48 00:02:32,729 --> 00:02:35,298 Yet somehow I feel guilty. 49 00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:42,839 That woman won't stop staring at me. 50 00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:44,674 I'm not surprised, Marge. 51 00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:47,577 You are a senior home ten. 52 00:02:47,644 --> 00:02:48,578 (Marge grumbles) 53 00:02:48,612 --> 00:02:51,047 Do I... know you? 54 00:02:51,147 --> 00:02:52,349 Margie the Meanie? 55 00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:54,551 You've caused me enough trouble! 56 00:02:54,618 --> 00:02:56,253 (sobbing): No! Oh... 57 00:02:56,286 --> 00:02:58,755 Mom, what don't we know about you? 58 00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:01,491 Marge Bouvier, 59 00:03:01,558 --> 00:03:03,660 you ruined my life! 60 00:03:04,427 --> 00:03:07,797 I never want to see you again! 61 00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:10,133 - (horn blaring) - (bells clanging) 62 00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:14,537 That is my old principal. 63 00:03:14,604 --> 00:03:17,707 Mom, she's treating you like you were a bad kid in school. 64 00:03:17,807 --> 00:03:20,477 But that's impossible. 65 00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:22,546 Unless... 66 00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:25,348 Well, I... not really. 67 00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:28,952 You were a bad kid in school! 68 00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:31,621 High five. And now you're trying to lie about it! 69 00:03:31,688 --> 00:03:33,390 - (gasps) We're the same! - (car alarms sounding) 70 00:03:33,456 --> 00:03:35,191 We're the same! We're the same! We're the same! 71 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,694 Oh, I finally have a parent I am proud of. 72 00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:39,229 Aw. 73 00:03:39,296 --> 00:03:41,197 (chuckles) Marge. 74 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,967 You must've run into Principal York. 75 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,870 You made her life a living hell. 76 00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:49,372 (sighs) It started in middle school. 77 00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:50,674 Middle school. 78 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:53,710 That's when we were sopranos in the choir. 79 00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:56,012 (gravelly harmonizing) 80 00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:57,714 (coughing) 81 00:03:57,781 --> 00:04:00,584 Ah! Still got it. 82 00:04:01,751 --> 00:04:04,621 MARGE: In seventh grade, I had to switch schools. 83 00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:06,690 ♪ ♪ 84 00:04:08,191 --> 00:04:10,527 (electric guitar solo plays) 85 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:16,166 We wear top and bottom eyeliner. 86 00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:17,934 Check out this tattoo. 87 00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,269 Is that press-on? 88 00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:20,770 Henna. 89 00:04:20,904 --> 00:04:22,272 (gasps) 90 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,642 They were so nasty to me. 91 00:04:25,775 --> 00:04:27,577 Ah! 92 00:04:27,677 --> 00:04:29,846 (Marge sobbing) 93 00:04:29,913 --> 00:04:30,981 SELMA: And then one day, 94 00:04:31,014 --> 00:04:32,949 against a checked-out principal, 95 00:04:33,016 --> 00:04:34,351 you won them over. 96 00:04:34,451 --> 00:04:36,519 The mean girls are picking on me again. 97 00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,388 Well, what do you expect me to do, 98 00:04:38,455 --> 00:04:41,091 start some kind of anti-bullying policy? 99 00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:43,526 Also no standing during lunch. 100 00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:45,395 (shouts) 101 00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:46,529 (all gasp) 102 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,565 (laughter) 103 00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:51,835 I'll do a lot better with the next person I hire. 104 00:04:51,902 --> 00:04:54,371 He'll be a win-ner! 105 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:57,340 The new girl did that. 106 00:04:57,407 --> 00:04:58,975 It was cool. 107 00:04:59,075 --> 00:05:01,077 ALL: Cool girl! Cool girl! 108 00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:02,913 I am a cool girl. 109 00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,781 Don't check with my old school. 110 00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:06,550 You pranked the principal? 111 00:05:06,616 --> 00:05:09,185 I embarrassed her, but I shouldn't have. 112 00:05:09,286 --> 00:05:12,222 But that didn't stop you from doing it again. 113 00:05:14,324 --> 00:05:15,225 (exclaims) 114 00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:18,595 Oh, my God! We saw the principal's bra. 115 00:05:18,662 --> 00:05:20,230 We've entered... 116 00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:21,531 (deep voice): ...puberty! 117 00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:22,832 PATTY: And again. 118 00:05:22,899 --> 00:05:25,702 (gasps) It's not even grammatical. 119 00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:30,974 Oh, my God, Mom, you're not perfect. 120 00:05:31,074 --> 00:05:32,909 You're so not perfect. 121 00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,344 Bart, I'm not... 122 00:05:34,444 --> 00:05:37,147 This is the first hug where you've ever hugged me back. 123 00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:39,849 Hug you back? I started the damn hug. 124 00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:42,786 Language, but aw... 125 00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:48,992 - (Ralph humming) - (gasps) 126 00:05:49,025 --> 00:05:50,527 Two customers in the shop at once. 127 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,495 Call the fire marshal. 128 00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:54,297 I want to buy a Batman. 129 00:05:54,431 --> 00:05:56,433 Um, not so fast. Which era? 130 00:05:56,499 --> 00:05:58,768 Which artist? Dark Knight or Adam West? 131 00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:02,339 (sighs) Sometimes I regret not finishing medical school. 132 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,041 I was one credit away. One. 133 00:06:05,175 --> 00:06:08,011 I want the one where Batman eats lasagna. 134 00:06:08,144 --> 00:06:10,614 That is Garfield, who is not a bat, but a cat. 135 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:14,117 How can someone with such a big head be so stupid? 136 00:06:14,184 --> 00:06:17,153 That is so cruel, picking on that poor Wiggum boy. 137 00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,656 Someone should teach him a lesson. 138 00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,258 Someone who's not afraid 139 00:06:21,324 --> 00:06:23,627 to be a hero to her son. 140 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,896 Do it, Marge. Prank that guy. 141 00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:27,330 Superman? 142 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,934 Uh, for legal reasons, you can call me Uber Hombre. 143 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:33,136 Once again the lack of clear copyright 144 00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:35,205 in my country has screwed me. 145 00:06:35,338 --> 00:06:37,007 My copyright expired. 146 00:06:37,073 --> 00:06:39,009 Would you like to be the Scarlet Pimpernel? 147 00:06:39,075 --> 00:06:40,744 No, thank you. 148 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,546 Maybe something should be done. 149 00:06:42,646 --> 00:06:44,314 Aw. 150 00:06:44,414 --> 00:06:47,083 Why, look, if it isn't Lex Loser. 151 00:06:47,183 --> 00:06:49,886 Ha. Stop working the package to see 152 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,888 what the middle comic is in the three-pack. 153 00:06:52,022 --> 00:06:53,557 Take your chances like a man. 154 00:06:53,657 --> 00:06:56,326 But I want to see if the middle one is valuable. 155 00:06:56,426 --> 00:06:58,361 The middle comic is never valuable. 156 00:06:58,428 --> 00:07:01,131 It's there to take up space like lettuce on a hamburger, 157 00:07:01,197 --> 00:07:03,233 a seat filler at the Emmys, 158 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,401 or you. 159 00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,369 (sobbing) 160 00:07:06,436 --> 00:07:08,104 ♪ ♪ 161 00:07:10,106 --> 00:07:12,342 Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy? 162 00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,344 I have more money than you've ever seen 163 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:16,179 in this store. 164 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:19,816 Yes, sir, and may I offer you a snack? 165 00:07:19,883 --> 00:07:21,218 You serve snacks? 166 00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:22,953 For valued customers, yes. 167 00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:25,055 Have a mint, or if you prefer, 168 00:07:25,188 --> 00:07:27,390 a near mint. Could I interest you 169 00:07:27,457 --> 00:07:30,193 in this very emotional Spider-Man, in which 170 00:07:30,293 --> 00:07:33,563 Peter Parker confronts and forgives the spider who bit him? 171 00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:34,631 (gasps) 172 00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,499 A comic book's arch enemy! 173 00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:37,934 Cola! No! 174 00:07:38,034 --> 00:07:39,636 Oh, God! Oh! 175 00:07:39,703 --> 00:07:42,172 Oh, God! Ah! (grunts) 176 00:07:42,239 --> 00:07:44,574 To quote the immortal Shaggy: 177 00:07:44,641 --> 00:07:46,509 "Zoinks!" 178 00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:56,519 (both laughing) 179 00:07:57,787 --> 00:07:59,823 (laughing) 180 00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:01,591 (all laughing) 181 00:08:02,559 --> 00:08:06,096 (both laughing) 182 00:08:07,464 --> 00:08:08,899 What's so funny? 183 00:08:08,999 --> 00:08:10,500 (giggles) Mom and I... 184 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,202 (shushes, giggles) 185 00:08:12,269 --> 00:08:13,670 ...did a prank together. 186 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,071 Shh! Sweetie. 187 00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:16,273 Whoa, wait a minute. 188 00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:18,241 So Bart gets his wild side 189 00:08:18,308 --> 00:08:20,777 from his mother? That makes no sense. 190 00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,579 Boys get stuff from their dads, 191 00:08:22,679 --> 00:08:25,248 like their favorite baseball team, mental disorders, 192 00:08:25,315 --> 00:08:28,051 and the lame joke they tell every waiter. 193 00:08:28,084 --> 00:08:29,753 Say, Maggie? 194 00:08:29,819 --> 00:08:31,955 Why don't you get this one? 195 00:08:32,022 --> 00:08:33,623 Ha-ha-ha. 196 00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:36,359 Imagine, a baby paying a check. 197 00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:38,895 Well, maybe Bart's pranking allele 198 00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:40,897 is on the maternal chromosome. 199 00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:43,567 (sighs) The only part of that I understood 200 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:44,868 was "allele." 201 00:08:44,935 --> 00:08:46,503 I'm talking Mendelian genetics. 202 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,539 Young lady, we do not discuss that at the dinner table. 203 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:51,408 Now pass the peas. 204 00:08:52,909 --> 00:08:55,512 Hmm. How come one quarter are yellow? 205 00:08:55,612 --> 00:08:56,813 - (sighs) - (both laugh) 206 00:08:56,913 --> 00:08:58,615 So Bart's not like me, 207 00:08:58,682 --> 00:09:00,183 Lisa's not like me. 208 00:09:00,217 --> 00:09:02,986 There will be no evidence I was ever on this earth. 209 00:09:03,053 --> 00:09:05,355 Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie. 210 00:09:06,122 --> 00:09:07,557 (Marge humming) 211 00:09:08,725 --> 00:09:10,293 (sighs) 212 00:09:12,395 --> 00:09:14,664 How many times I got to tell you, Homer? 213 00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:16,800 No outside peas. 214 00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:21,371 It's just that I realized the kids totally take after Marge. 215 00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:23,707 - Nothing from me. - Come on, Homer. 216 00:09:23,807 --> 00:09:26,309 There's got to be something you passed on to your kids. 217 00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:28,612 That adorable way you pout? 218 00:09:28,678 --> 00:09:29,779 (grumbles) 219 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,081 Uh, the way you can burp-sing 220 00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:32,349 the national anthem? 221 00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:34,351 Great chiming in today, guys. 222 00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:37,187 - Oh, thanks for noticing. - Appreciate it. 223 00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:40,991 There is something we have in common, Dad. 224 00:09:41,057 --> 00:09:42,726 That we're both made out of beer? 225 00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:45,428 No, something deeper. Profound. 226 00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:46,963 Dark beer? 227 00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,932 You'll have to figure it out yourself. 228 00:09:48,999 --> 00:09:51,668 Oh, I hate when foam makes me think. 229 00:09:52,469 --> 00:09:55,472 Hey, you guys have forgotten one thing. 230 00:09:55,572 --> 00:09:57,207 Lisa Simpson. 231 00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,809 She is 100% scientific proof 232 00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:01,177 that I exist. 233 00:10:01,278 --> 00:10:03,914 To Lisa "What's Her Middle Name" Simpson. 234 00:10:04,014 --> 00:10:06,950 Daddy's little girl. 235 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:09,119 No clinking? What's wrong? 236 00:10:09,185 --> 00:10:10,654 Yeah, well, truth be told, 237 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,090 uh, none of us was positive Lisa was really your kid. 238 00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:16,059 She's smart as a whip. 239 00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:17,928 - Wha...? - She can control her temper. 240 00:10:18,028 --> 00:10:19,596 Why, you...! 241 00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:21,197 You look exactly like her 242 00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:24,434 if she was a big, fat, bald guy, which she's not. 243 00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:25,769 In the least. 244 00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,237 For your information, 245 00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,139 I'm gonna find a wonderful bond 246 00:10:29,205 --> 00:10:31,174 between myself and my little girl. 247 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:35,345 And you childless loners are gonna be so jealous. 248 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,915 You losers will never have this! 249 00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:40,050 Losers! 250 00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,918 Oh, right, Maggie's in the car. 251 00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,221 Shut the damn door! 252 00:10:46,923 --> 00:10:48,959 Marge, I see you're buying 253 00:10:49,059 --> 00:10:51,061 Slaughterhouse Sweepins brand hot dogs. 254 00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,662 It must be so easy to shop 255 00:10:52,729 --> 00:10:55,966 when anything's good enough for your family. (chuckles) 256 00:10:56,066 --> 00:10:57,500 Eh? Eh? 257 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,302 No. No more pranking. 258 00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:02,672 Now we've got to buy food before the prices go up. 259 00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:05,075 (Marge groaning nervously) 260 00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:07,844 Timothy and I prefer Opera House Franks. 261 00:11:07,911 --> 00:11:09,746 Maybe you've seen their commercials? 262 00:11:09,813 --> 00:11:11,314 Oh, wait, they're only advertised 263 00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:14,351 on premium cable channels. (chuckles) 264 00:11:14,451 --> 00:11:16,353 (grunts) 265 00:11:16,453 --> 00:11:18,521 ♪ ♪ 266 00:11:26,162 --> 00:11:28,398 (scanner beeps, stops) 267 00:11:29,432 --> 00:11:31,334 I need a price check on a pack 268 00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:33,637 - of Gassy Granny Underwear. - (gasps) 269 00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:35,071 That's not mine. 270 00:11:35,171 --> 00:11:37,107 How did it get in my cart? 271 00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:39,476 I also need a price check 272 00:11:39,576 --> 00:11:42,646 on a gallon of Sober by Six Day Drinker's Gin, 273 00:11:42,779 --> 00:11:45,181 Lady Stinkfoot Insoles, 274 00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:48,051 The Marvelous Mrs. Miser's Week-Old Bread, 275 00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:50,353 Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment, 276 00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:53,557 FEMA Brand Emergency Toilet Paper... 277 00:11:53,623 --> 00:11:56,993 and Garbage Mouth Bad Breath Neutralizing Suppositories. 278 00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,728 (gasps) 279 00:11:58,795 --> 00:12:00,764 (both laughing) 280 00:12:00,797 --> 00:12:02,566 ♪ ♪ 281 00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:06,836 (grunting) 282 00:12:06,903 --> 00:12:09,906 HOMER: (gasps) Vegetarians like food? 283 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,842 Is that pulled pork dripping with cheese? 284 00:12:12,909 --> 00:12:15,478 Uh, yes, except instead of cheese, 285 00:12:15,545 --> 00:12:18,348 I'm using cashew paste with nutritional yeast 286 00:12:18,415 --> 00:12:20,951 and for pork, I'm substituting jackfruit. 287 00:12:21,051 --> 00:12:22,619 No pork? 288 00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:25,055 Jackfruit is vegan, abundant, 289 00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:26,990 and no plucking, so it's cruelty-free. 290 00:12:27,057 --> 00:12:28,592 Try some. 291 00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:32,028 Hmm, not bad, not bad. 292 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:34,731 This is it-- food is our thing. 293 00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:36,266 Well, if you like jackfruit, 294 00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:38,835 I know a place you will love. 295 00:12:38,902 --> 00:12:40,503 Mmm. 296 00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:42,505 It's probably not what you're thinking. 297 00:12:42,572 --> 00:12:43,740 D'oh! 298 00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:47,544 Please give me the best kombucha you have on tap, 299 00:12:47,611 --> 00:12:50,814 and a bottle of your finest liquid aminos. 300 00:12:50,881 --> 00:12:53,617 You got it. Namaste. 301 00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:59,422 Mmm. Jicama sticks. 302 00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:01,024 (crunching) 303 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,159 Dad, do you like this food? 304 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,862 Oh, sweetie, I love this meal. 305 00:13:05,929 --> 00:13:08,098 I hated that meal. 306 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:10,700 Oh, thank God I keep an emergency sausage 307 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,535 beside the bed. 308 00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:14,170 Ew, what is this? 309 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,906 It's a ground-up kickball. 310 00:13:15,939 --> 00:13:18,074 I pranked you. (laughing) 311 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:20,110 (Bart laughing in distance) 312 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,512 Why, you little...! (grunts) 313 00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:23,680 Ow! 314 00:13:23,747 --> 00:13:24,881 (Homer laughing) 315 00:13:24,981 --> 00:13:26,449 Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge? 316 00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:28,552 That's why we shouldn't have books in the house. 317 00:13:28,652 --> 00:13:31,421 Do you think I like doing this pranking? 318 00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,090 When I'm done laughing, I hate myself. 319 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,959 I'm behaving like a little brat 320 00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:38,061 and it's made me a better mother. 321 00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:40,430 But pranking isn't like you, it's like me. 322 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,432 We can't have two of me in this marriage. 323 00:13:42,499 --> 00:13:44,367 One of me is enough for three of us. 324 00:13:44,434 --> 00:13:47,504 But I can't stop, 'cause I've never been closer to Bart. 325 00:13:47,604 --> 00:13:51,441 I've waited for a connection like this for so long. 326 00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,810 Longer than the new Avatar movie. 327 00:13:53,877 --> 00:13:55,178 It's coming, Marge. 328 00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:56,813 You've got to have faith. 329 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,982 You sound like James Cameron, Homer. 330 00:13:59,049 --> 00:14:01,751 What if we never see Pandora again? 331 00:14:01,818 --> 00:14:04,688 The real unobtanium is the sequel. 332 00:14:04,754 --> 00:14:07,757 Have faith, have faith. 333 00:14:08,892 --> 00:14:10,927 Oh, sorry. No one's allowed in the store 334 00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,996 while Mr. Burns shops for the right chewing gum. 335 00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:14,764 Are you for real? 336 00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:16,800 I am. He doesn't want to, quote, 337 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:18,201 "Catch your poverty." 338 00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:19,469 Double mint? (scoffs) 339 00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:21,638 A little too strong for my liking. 340 00:14:22,639 --> 00:14:23,974 My baby has a rash! 341 00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:26,176 And it makes her a wiggle monster. 342 00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:30,113 Babies. When will you learn that old people are our future? 343 00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:32,816 Please! 344 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:34,718 Sorry, I have a medical condition 345 00:14:34,784 --> 00:14:36,386 where I don't give a damn. 346 00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:37,520 (dial tone) 347 00:14:37,621 --> 00:14:39,222 ♪ ♪ 348 00:14:43,627 --> 00:14:45,829 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 349 00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,664 (laughs) He'll just fall 350 00:14:47,764 --> 00:14:49,966 into that soft grass over there. 351 00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:51,368 (grunting) 352 00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:58,408 Ah! Ow! Oh! 353 00:14:58,475 --> 00:15:01,311 (Burns thumping) 354 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,512 (grunting) 355 00:15:03,513 --> 00:15:05,415 (zapping) 356 00:15:05,549 --> 00:15:08,351 Oh, my God, Bart. We went too far. 357 00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:10,987 You mean you went too far. 358 00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:12,255 We've never been closer! 359 00:15:16,693 --> 00:15:19,029 Marge, you're incredibly lucky Mr. Burns is okay. 360 00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:20,997 It taught me a lesson, Smithers. 361 00:15:21,064 --> 00:15:23,033 - Life could end at any moment. - Mm-hmm. 362 00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,068 So we have to jam as much evil 363 00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:27,704 as possible into each remaining day. 364 00:15:27,771 --> 00:15:29,806 (squawking) 365 00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:30,974 (gulps) 366 00:15:31,074 --> 00:15:33,410 - (giggling) - (squawking) 367 00:15:38,715 --> 00:15:40,850 What are you looking at? 368 00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,485 Marge, I don't understand. 369 00:15:42,586 --> 00:15:44,754 What made you attack that hateful, 370 00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,990 nasty, hateful old man? 371 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,192 Um, I was taught that a lady 372 00:15:49,292 --> 00:15:52,128 should never express or experience emotions. 373 00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:54,864 And I don't, except every couple of decades 374 00:15:54,898 --> 00:15:57,867 I snap. Otherwise I'm just simmering, 375 00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,636 simmering, simmering, simmering, 376 00:15:59,703 --> 00:16:02,272 - simmering, simmering... - You must have been such a good little girl. 377 00:16:02,339 --> 00:16:04,774 I don't want to talk anymore today. 378 00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:08,178 Well, it's up to you. We can do this over 20 costly years, 379 00:16:08,245 --> 00:16:10,113 or you can have your breakthrough now. 380 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,649 Oh, people can have instant breakthroughs? 381 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,684 Not people with good insurance, 382 00:16:14,751 --> 00:16:16,386 but yours is lousy. 383 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,888 (sobbing) 384 00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:19,990 Oh, my God! 385 00:16:20,056 --> 00:16:22,659 It's okay. It's okay. 386 00:16:22,726 --> 00:16:24,661 Therapists almost never give useful advice, 387 00:16:24,728 --> 00:16:27,230 but here's what you do: just find your old principal, 388 00:16:27,297 --> 00:16:29,399 make your peace, and you'll feel better. 389 00:16:29,499 --> 00:16:30,667 Are you sure? 390 00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:34,371 As sure as I am I really don't want to see you again. 391 00:16:36,139 --> 00:16:38,742 Bart, I-I'm sorry. 392 00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:40,477 Pranking is selfish and unkind. 393 00:16:40,577 --> 00:16:43,580 Even if it's hilarious. I'm done. 394 00:16:43,647 --> 00:16:44,781 Mom, no! 395 00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:46,816 I don't know who I am without pranking. 396 00:16:46,883 --> 00:16:48,351 It's in our blood. 397 00:16:48,418 --> 00:16:51,421 Like when you had me, that was a total prank on Dad. 398 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:55,325 If you give it up, you're giving me up! 399 00:16:55,392 --> 00:16:57,694 (sobbing) 400 00:16:57,761 --> 00:16:59,763 ♪ ♪ 401 00:17:01,364 --> 00:17:03,199 Okay, fine. 402 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:06,136 I think I have one more prank left in me. 403 00:17:06,202 --> 00:17:09,306 And it's gonna be a real doozy. 404 00:17:09,372 --> 00:17:12,976 I love the way you say cool things in lame ways. 405 00:17:13,043 --> 00:17:14,311 - Mm. - (Bart grunts) 406 00:17:15,979 --> 00:17:18,348 This is great. So great. 407 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:20,884 I would kill the Easter Bunny for one meatball. 408 00:17:20,984 --> 00:17:23,453 - Now, we shred in some kale. - Oh, no. 409 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,389 - And Brussels sprouts, tofu, - You're killing me. 410 00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:28,925 - bell peppers, mushrooms, - I'm gagging! Oh! 411 00:17:29,059 --> 00:17:31,261 - broccolini, artichokes. - Don't say-- oh! 412 00:17:31,328 --> 00:17:33,230 - Want some blueberries? - Ew! Yuck! 413 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:34,664 Ooh, sunflower seeds. 414 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,399 You know, if a bag of pig knuckles fell in there, 415 00:17:36,466 --> 00:17:38,134 it wouldn't be the end of the world. 416 00:17:38,201 --> 00:17:40,737 Dad, I love you, but I don't want to do this 417 00:17:40,837 --> 00:17:42,505 if you're gonna... Homer it up. 418 00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:45,075 My name is a verb, meaning "to ruin"? 419 00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:47,043 - That is pretty Homer-ed up. - I'm sorry. 420 00:17:47,077 --> 00:17:49,112 - Just try a sip. - (slurps) 421 00:17:49,179 --> 00:17:50,347 What do you think? 422 00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:51,948 (lisping): Soggy and underseasoned. 423 00:17:52,015 --> 00:17:54,517 I'm sorry. I hate this. 424 00:17:54,584 --> 00:17:58,288 I have no similarities with any of my offspring. 425 00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,423 (lisping): My tongue is swelling, too! 426 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:03,894 Hey! Look at us! Our throats are closing as one. 427 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,796 Aw. Want to share an ambulance? 428 00:18:06,897 --> 00:18:08,899 Yes. 429 00:18:08,999 --> 00:18:10,367 It turns out you two have 430 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,769 many common allergies, including 431 00:18:12,869 --> 00:18:14,671 allspice, dust, feathers, fur, 432 00:18:14,771 --> 00:18:16,973 the stuff in peanut butter that isn't peanuts, 433 00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:20,076 also peanuts, animal dander, Irish Spring-- 434 00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:21,545 the season and the soap-- 435 00:18:21,645 --> 00:18:24,781 and the smell of honeysuckle on a dark Georgia night. 436 00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:27,050 - (moans) - What's wrong, Dad? 437 00:18:27,117 --> 00:18:29,052 You're such a great kid. 438 00:18:29,152 --> 00:18:31,655 Sorry I passed down all those bad parts. 439 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:34,925 Dad, you passed down the most important part of yourself. 440 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:36,593 Your kind heart. 441 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:40,263 (coughs) I'm afraid I'm allergic to treacle. 442 00:18:40,363 --> 00:18:43,199 (hacking) 443 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,503 I'm here to apologize. 444 00:18:46,570 --> 00:18:49,706 Let me guess, there's bees inside. 445 00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:52,909 Please, I just want you to know I'm a good person. 446 00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:54,544 I really am. 447 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,347 Just sniff the flowers, you'll see. 448 00:18:58,114 --> 00:18:59,649 (sniffs, screams) 449 00:18:59,749 --> 00:19:01,451 Oh! Meanie! 450 00:19:01,518 --> 00:19:03,119 (both laughing) 451 00:19:03,153 --> 00:19:04,921 We got you! 452 00:19:04,988 --> 00:19:08,024 I've always hated children. 453 00:19:08,058 --> 00:19:10,794 (gasps) ¡Ay, caramba! 454 00:19:16,032 --> 00:19:17,467 You're going to juvie 455 00:19:17,534 --> 00:19:19,135 and you're going to women's prison. 456 00:19:19,202 --> 00:19:20,704 And the victim is gonna be buried 457 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:23,173 with deceased members of the Blue Man Group, 458 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,942 which there are way more than you'd think. 459 00:19:26,042 --> 00:19:29,145 (laughing): All died in hilarious ways. 460 00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:32,015 Oh, my God, oh, my God! Please be alive. 461 00:19:32,082 --> 00:19:34,584 I'll never prank again. Never! 462 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,653 - (screams) - We got ya! 463 00:19:36,753 --> 00:19:38,755 (both laughing) 464 00:19:39,556 --> 00:19:42,492 Uh-oh, Lou. We have got a zombie situation here. 465 00:19:42,592 --> 00:19:45,095 Aim for the brain. It's the only way. 466 00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:47,063 Just teaching a lesson to my son. 467 00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,165 She was never dead. 468 00:19:49,266 --> 00:19:50,533 She's a zombie lover, Lou! 469 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,969 Aim for both their heads. It's the only way. 470 00:19:53,036 --> 00:19:54,638 They're not zombies, Chief. 471 00:19:54,704 --> 00:19:56,706 And neither were the Wilsons. 472 00:19:56,806 --> 00:19:58,975 Uh, don't mention the Wilsons. 473 00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:00,810 So, Mom, you taught me the dangers of pranking 474 00:20:00,911 --> 00:20:02,612 while pulling an awesome prank. 475 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:03,813 Lesson learned. 476 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,048 Have some peanut brittle. 477 00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:07,117 Mm-hmm, no snakes? 478 00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:09,686 I took out the snakes and actually put in peanut brittle. 479 00:20:09,753 --> 00:20:12,188 That's how much I respect you. 480 00:20:14,624 --> 00:20:15,525 Hmm. 481 00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:19,029 Well, you know I love you and I always will. 482 00:20:19,095 --> 00:20:21,097 But enough with the pranking. 483 00:20:21,197 --> 00:20:23,366 Enough with the pranking. 484 00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:26,336 (both grunt) 485 00:20:29,339 --> 00:20:30,440 (chuckles) 486 00:20:33,476 --> 00:20:35,512 (laughs) 487 00:20:48,258 --> 00:20:49,526 "Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry 488 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:50,961 "I put laxatives in your dog's food. 489 00:20:51,061 --> 00:20:52,729 "Then secretly filmed it. 490 00:20:52,862 --> 00:20:56,233 "Then sent it to America's Worst Carpet Disasters. 491 00:20:56,299 --> 00:21:00,003 "Then I won. And used the prize money to buy more laxatives. 492 00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:02,739 Sincerely, Marge." 493 00:21:02,839 --> 00:21:05,909 (groans) Another one done. 494 00:21:05,976 --> 00:21:08,578 (exhales) Well, that's the A's. 495 00:21:08,678 --> 00:21:10,313 "Dear Bernice..." 496 00:21:10,447 --> 00:21:12,983 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 497 00:21:13,049 --> 00:21:16,019 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 498 00:21:16,086 --> 00:21:19,256 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 499 00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:22,759 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 500 00:21:31,601 --> 00:21:33,303 Shh!