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模仿巴特侠 我们最爱的家庭
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棒啊
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棒啊
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噢
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噢
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快走 别挡我的路
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开去教堂怎么就不会塞车
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霍默 冷静点
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我们不会错过圣卡斯特亚纳塔节的
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我最爱圣卡斯特亚纳塔节了
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有好吃的东西跟很棒的人
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就像去到意大利一样
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除了那里的街道够宽 不会容不下我
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种族特点
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我爱那些危险的设施
因为都是百年老物了
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倾斜扭伤车
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破伤风高塔
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蹒跚小马
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俘虏农民
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坐稳了 孩子们 要开始了
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几乎不旋转木马
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为了获得这份工作
我打败一头骡跟一头牛
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诀窍在于不要要求福利
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圣卡斯特亚纳塔节
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给我披萨 意大利面
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通心粉 披萨
意大利面 奶油卷
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跟爆量奶油卷
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我要喝茴香酒喝到吐
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最后再吃多色冰淇淋
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喝到双腿都在发抖
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廉价红酒与柠檬酒
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需要在庆典上帮你带什么吗 东尼
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不用了 那些都是碳水化合物
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我不想让别人觉得我胖
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但你的名字就叫肥东尼
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这样顺口
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真不敢相信你不去
我还请你叔叔从西西里飞过来
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-笨蛋
-那冰冷的眼神
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就是我离开祖国的原因
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强尼 你真是不懂我的心
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但你是我唯一信任的人
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你们去享受庆典吧
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我跟叔叔叙旧
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你想去庆典吗 叔叔
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意大利
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我是为了火人祭来的
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我想在死前
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看裸女骑自行车
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大家都有点心吃…
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冰淇淋
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红酒
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-欧帕
-那是希腊语 警长
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老路 万事通圣人节是什么时候
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-好像是十月…
-根本就没有
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没人喜欢万事通 笨蛋
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有意式炸面团 意式肉卷
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意式辣火腿 响螺
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我不知道这是啥玩意
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你能把它们都捏成一团一起炸吗
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我就知道
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这地方看起来很有意思
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爸 不 那是真的教堂
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无麸质圣母教派
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欢迎各位参加这个
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不为哥伦布庆祝的庆典
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吃 喝 投票给昆毕
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再说一次 不为哥伦布庆祝的庆典
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当我们站在这个属于尼娜
平塔与圣马里亚号的角落
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让我们欢迎多色冰淇淋庆典主持人
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水行侠本人
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杰森·莫罗洛洛拉
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今天很荣幸踏上陆地
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重述这个伟大圣人的故事
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-水行侠
-在我的左胸上签名吧
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请签在这里
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水行侠不是来签奶子的
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那项活动在万豪饭店C会议室举行
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公元250年
伊格纳修斯·卡斯特亚纳塔弟兄
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拒绝放弃基督教信仰
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于是罗马人砍掉他的头
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他们砍下他的手臂
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他们砍下他的腿和他的脚趾
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他们用冻住的蛇做成的箭射他
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拔出他的眼睛 并把他的眼珠
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换成了巧克力脆皮开心果
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但是伊格纳修斯依然拒绝屈服
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他们用樱桃酒烹煮他的骨头
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这就是为什么我们用
多色冰淇淋纪念这位殉道三次的圣人
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巧克力开心果樱桃冰淇淋
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不好吃
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谢谢你 超级鱼王
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现在我们要展现对耶稣的虔诚信仰
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用一美元纸钞装饰他的雕像
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耶稣
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-在耶稣身上贴美钞 霍默
-他不需要钱
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我听说他爸富得流油
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我的皮夹呢
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我的皮夹也不见了
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-我的皮包
-我的腰带
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我的离合器
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我们是扒手病的受害者
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快做点什么 水中黑豹
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彼得风笛手扒了一堆人的皮夹
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钱包在哪里
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彼得行窃造成多少人变成贫民
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恐怕在这个小偷面前 没人是安全的
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这个棉裤强盗 这个翻裤子的小偷
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但维古姆警长发誓他将解开这个谜团
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我解开谜团了
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是“有礼貌的小偷”…
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我先说的
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范围 穿蓝色制服的男性
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维古姆 我也不想打断重要警务工作
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是“警察” 原来是“警察的小偷”
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我需要遥控器
才能转台看《前进好莱坞》
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你需要的远远不只遥控器
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我是蕾诺拉·卡特
检察官办公室特别调查员
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我要接管这件案子
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女士 你看起来人很不错
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但是谁也不能跑来我的辖区指挥我
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-给我闭嘴听好
-是 长官
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你是我当着别人下属面前
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侮辱过最烂的警察
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你胖到能同时扮白脸跟黑脸
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你的缉毒犬进了惩戒中心
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好 它是性爱成瘾
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你们给我听好 “警界双雄”
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-不得了啊
-是时候执行真正的警务工作了
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禁止吸烟 甜甜圈
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好 你继续吧
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我去射击场消化我的情绪
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我们没有射击场
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春田警察局
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我们要在超级大屁股的口袋里
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放个装了追踪器的皮夹
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那人的屁股大到罪犯绝不会错过
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-我们得找到屁股最大的镇民
-你们好
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能告诉我公园长椅移除单位在哪吗
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请坐 先生
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谢谢 我自备长椅
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我不要
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让我先生冒生命危险
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我承认我很害怕
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女士 这是影响甚广又紧急的案子
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你丈夫的屁股比我们俩的都大
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愿主保佑众生
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只要取得你孩子的同意
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我们能看你们的爸爸用屁股破案
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“破案”
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霍默 我们在你的皮夹上装了追踪器
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你只要带着诱人的大屁股上街就行了
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我把你的皮夹拉高点
让它露出口袋边缘
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交给我
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选一张卡 随便一张都好
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谢天谢地这家伙站在我们这边
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亲吻镜头 巨型荧幕
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春田交通
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找到目标了
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你来这里做什么
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我承认
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我就是无法不插手 我跟踪你们
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同时开车哄拉尔夫睡觉
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那小子就是不睡觉
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我是乐透球 你又输了 爸爸
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春田警察
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我们要进去了
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你就不用了
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你一辈子就跟两个人共事
还以为自己很了解他们
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老路跟另一个家伙背叛了我
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再说一次那家伙叫什么名字
我猜是葛雷格
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叔叔 客人就像鱼一样
留三天就会开始变得很恶
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我跟你说过几百次了
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在我老婆原谅我以前 我不会走的
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-她死了
-你总替她说话
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警察 你们来这里做什么
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这是圈套 这些是什么
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听说这是一间快闪亚洲融合料理餐厅
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但没看到亚洲人 也没看到融合
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肥东尼
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你涉嫌率领窃盗集团而被捕
181
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,073
但我从没见过这些皮夹
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房间在旋转
183
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:57,703
原来这就是被冤枉的感觉
184
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,374
原来这就是被抛下的感觉
185
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,125
爸爸是大象
186
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,545
不 我不是大象 拉尔夫
187
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,463
请你别忘记
188
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皮夹街之狼
189
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,442
关在牢里 安安分分
190
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出名的黑帮分子肥东尼·达米科
终于被关进牢里了
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太太
192
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情妇
193
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,915
我的茶杯小猪
194
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,878
春田小学 放学接孩子区域
195
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,756
怎么了 警长
196
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,426
玛琦 你可曾觉得生命无谓流逝
197
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,719
一切都没有意义
198
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,929
你只是过得不顺遂
199
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,140
所有男人到了五十岁都会这样
200
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,683
我才38岁 玛琦
201
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,812
警长 你知道我为什么爱我老公吗
202
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:08,024
为了最浪漫的原因 懒惰
203
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,068
我爱他是因为他不怕失败
204
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,113
他毫无来由地自信爆棚
205
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你也该如此
206
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,491
真的吗 你这么想
207
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,994
我突然看到了破云而出的光芒
208
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,288
我不会让你失望的 玛琦
209
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,419
玛琦 能送我去警局吗
210
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,338
拉尔夫会跟警车留在这里
211
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:34,634
春田监狱
212
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耙子
213
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,681
亲爱全知的主 看穿那些傻子跟浑蛋
214
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你知道我是无辜的
215
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,644
请展现仁慈与恩典
216
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:48,189
帮我揪出陷害我的犹大吧
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00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,440
阿门
218
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,113
万能的上帝 我不常祷告
219
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,533
要我跪下来 我就不会站起来了
220
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我知道我跟魔鬼做交易才能当警长
221
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,748
但拜托你忽视这点 帮帮我吧
222
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,839
亲爱的上帝 请让塑料吸管回来吧
223
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,634
纸吸管一下就软趴趴了
224
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,760
春田监狱
225
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,471
我照你的吩咐立刻带了黑帮律师来
226
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,431
他们甚至不让我穿上裤子
227
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,517
我只来得及拿收费定时器
228
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,852
去你的收费定时器 把我弄出去
229
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,855
-而且要快
-要有耐心
230
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,565
他们指控你什么
231
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733
计费器
232
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,236
一级谋杀罪
233
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,322
二级谋杀罪
234
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,490
扒窃
235
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:40,700
说话说快一点
236
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,868
好
237
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,954
其实我是无辜的
238
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,039
无辜的…
239
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,209
法官是不可能相信你的
240
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,753
我根本没办法帮你
241
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:56,215
你要怎么开脱 这回真的是你干的
242
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,717
不是我干的
243
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,513
-你要我打他吗 老大
-不 把他带走就好
244
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:05,349
我会“把他带走”
245
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,226
我是说带他出去
246
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,979
好 我会“带他出去”
247
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,065
无论你以为我要你做什么都反过来做
248
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,414
忘了他吧 肥东尼被判20年
249
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:29,749
春田警局
250
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:31,250
肥东尼证据箱
251
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:35,129
圣卡斯特兰纳塔节录像
252
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,341
我绝不会犯的罪就是扒窃
253
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,926
东尼·达米科23岁时的罕见访谈
254
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,345
他看起来很诚恳
255
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,306
我是很诚恳
256
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,934
小时候 我爸爸肥佬安东尼奥
257
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,895
需要动心脏移植手术
258
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:54,690
那颗心脏在送往医院的途中被扒了
259
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:59,195
我父亲死于自然死因
260
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,947
没有一个正式成员该这样死去
261
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,160
我的天 我找到破案线索了
262
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,996
我找到电动牙刷了
263
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,083
他今晚会睡得很熟的
264
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,002
我看得出来他是无辜的
265
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,087
这种笃定来自
266
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,882
把上百个无辜者关进牢里的经验
267
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,467
维古姆关错的人
268
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,386
我向来跟DNA鉴定不合
269
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,597
熄灯
270
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,681
厕所牌意大利面
271
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,808
嘶…
272
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,560
干嘛要偷偷叫我 我哪也去不了
273
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,978
我觉得你是无辜的
274
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:37,483
但你得说服我忽视你所有的犯罪史
275
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,906
我出生时家里并不富有
276
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,535
成长期间 要生存只能靠拳头
277
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:51,997
或那些提供给意裔美国学生的奖学金
278
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,166
但表格需要填个人资料
279
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,085
我不泄密的
280
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,796
我开始没信心了 是你做的吧
281
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,508
我用这位前神父的命发誓不是我
282
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,552
他无罪
283
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,429
-我知道有罪是什么样子
-我能证明
284
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,349
-那证明呀
-我说了我能证明
285
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,518
没说我会证明
286
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,353
你为什么不证明
287
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:17,523
因为案发当时我在做的事
288
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:21,151
是身为老大不能让其他人知道的事
289
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:25,114
要是你帮我
我发誓我们会找到陷害你的家伙
290
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,283
好 我告诉你扒窃发生时
291
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,909
我在做什么
292
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,997
这实在太难为情了 一定是真的
293
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,748
把你的手机给我
294
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,710
合法生意人俱乐部
监视画面密码 不是我
295
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,297
每天这时候我都会做这件事
296
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,882
也就是案发当时
297
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,176
如你所见 我走进私人空间
298
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,345
漱口
299
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,933
然后 上帝帮帮我吧
300
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,059
《富丽秀》
301
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,936
无论日子好坏
302
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:59,023
我都见识过了 亲爱的
303
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:00,941
我还在这里
304
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,944
有时是奢华的天鹅绒
305
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,780
有时是椒盐脆饼跟啤酒
306
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,241
但我在这里
307
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,744
呜歌网
308
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:15,998
现在你知道了 我独处时爱唱音乐剧
309
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,168
那些皮夹不是你偷的
你偷的是我的心
310
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,794
继续放吧
311
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:24,506
十年来 一个黑帮老大拳打脚踢
312
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:28,636
买通法官跟市长 从来不交税…
313
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,262
好 够了
314
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,681
真的够了
315
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,394
马桶通心粉
316
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,313
我们今天就会把你弄出去
317
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,484
谢谢你 警长 但监狱改变了我
318
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:47,321
我认为我该放弃 服完刑期
319
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:50,616
然后坐在肉铺门口晒太阳
320
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,076
你不是一直都这么做吗
321
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,202
对
322
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,620
但每隔几小时
323
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:57,039
就会有人在我耳边低语
324
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,250
然后我就得决定要点头还是耸肩
325
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,754
压力很大 焦虑
326
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,590
我以为你想逮到陷害你坐牢的人
327
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:07,841
没错
328
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,844
我们会逮到他的 只要你戴窃听器
329
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,598
抱歉 但原则上我不能做那种事
330
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,058
我再说一次
331
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,894
我不能做哪些事
332
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,020
可以啦
333
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,740
路易吉餐厅
334
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,204
正式成员
335
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,456
为钱开杀
336
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,041
睡女人
337
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,131
-记住求救暗语
-什么暗语
338
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,424
“记住暗语”
339
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,259
我会的 什么暗语
340
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,428
“记住暗语”
341
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,681
只要你告诉我是什么 我就会记住
342
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,808
暗语就是“记住暗语”
343
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,436
这真是我听过最蠢的暗语了
344
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,771
记住 你的性命掌握在我们手上
345
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,523
还有请你别说脏话
346
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:08,277
我跟老婆培养气氛时会放这些录音听
347
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,868
敬肥东尼 像波提切利裸体画的人
348
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,078
又肥又老 而且超好“诓” 对吧
349
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,999
大家好
350
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,419
肥东尼 我刚刚还在说
我们好想你 对吧 各位
351
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,337
-当然了
-我们这么说过
352
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,464
安静
353
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,592
我不想听任何人说话
除了法兰基·史奎勒
354
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,344
你想听我说什么
355
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,642
陷害你的人的名字吗 我绝不会说
356
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,269
我没说三缄其口强尼
357
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,021
我绝对不会说是三缄其口强尼
358
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,565
各位 这是新老大三缄其口强尼
359
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,651
原来是你 强尼
360
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,071
-什么
-你
361
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,907
你每次回答都心不甘情不愿
362
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:58,243
还一脸阴沉 我可真想不到
363
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,330
你错把我的沉默寡言当忠诚了
364
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,664
但那纯粹只是
365
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,542
我在社交场合不自在
366
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,169
后来我看到一则广告
367
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,631
一朵悲伤的云跟太阳约会
368
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,217
于是我跟我的医生提起
369
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,386
这让我有了背叛你的自信
370
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,935
现在这是我的家族了对吧
狠角色吉米
371
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,978
你向来都是我的最爱
372
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,022
你呢 墙头草桑尼
373
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,024
其他人都说好的话就好
374
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,235
-随你便威利呢
-随便
375
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,695
你呢 不看场合乔伊
376
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,240
你疯了 我们才不会同意
377
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,534
看到没有 这就是你不会…
378
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,881
玛吉竟然不在
379
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,183
意大利面好好吃
380
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,227
我要去问问是什么酱汁
381
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,979
记住暗语
382
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,856
记住什么暗语
383
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,440
对啊
384
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,363
酱汁
385
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,034
我中枪了
386
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,455
正中你屁股的红心
387
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,041
得有人把子弹吸出来
388
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:32,004
维古姆 该死 你生来就是做这个的
389
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,344
他醒了
390
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,139
我们还以为要失去你了
391
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,184
你要好好感谢警长
392
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,603
可能是他迅速的吸功救了你一命
393
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,688
谢谢你
394
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,772
春田警局
395
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,361
维古姆 我得说我初次见到你时
396
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,697
我还以为你一点办事能力也没有
397
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,700
然后呢
398
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,620
然后呢
399
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,707
然后呢…
400
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,792
我相信你 警长
401
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,086
是的 没错 这就够了
402
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,757
朱塞佩家肉市场
提供意大利熟食
403
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,092
我们三个并没有那么不同
404
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:22,429
这家伙在说什么
405
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,473
我们是胖子
406
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:28,393
喜欢坐在阳光底下享受美味的生火腿
407
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,646
胖子 生火腿
408
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,148
垃圾话用意大利语说起来都变得好美
409
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,401
意大利语的“垃圾”
叫“史巴萨图拉”
410
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,364
垃圾
411
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,699
垃圾
412
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,794
字幕翻译：侯敏生