1
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,128
<i>自驾雪橇</i>

2
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:04,254
呵呵呵

3
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,338
辛普森一家

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,598
噢 好痛

5
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,441
<i>圣诞节前五周</i>

6
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:27,777
现在还有很充分的时间买圣诞礼物

7
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,487
<i>吊带 购买</i>

8
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,781
<i>两天后</i>

9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,577
<i>快递公司</i>

10
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,138
快递公司追踪系统说我的包裹到了

11
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,931
我只要低头看就好

12
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,559
<i>蓝尼·雷诺收</i>

13
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,644
会是谁干的 谁

14
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,105
叮咚欢乐响

15
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,733
天堂的铃声响不停

16
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,151
叮咚巴特会死掉

17
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,277
<i>画画</i>

18
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,280
我勒住他的脖子

19
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,990
<i>巴特死</i>

20
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:18,828
需要金丝来反映巴特眼中的恐惧

21
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,748
<i>金丝 注意</i>

22
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:23,792
有客人

23
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,126
来了

24
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:26,961
你好

25
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,090
这里有寂寞的灯塔管理员吗

26
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,342
你好 卡珊卓

27
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,346
惊喜 我做了松糕给你

28
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:39,641
你想知道一个秘密吗
我用了两条奶油

29
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,185
你有藏在内心深处的黑暗秘密吗

30
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,689
<i>去死 巴特 爱 恨</i>

31
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,323
<i>春田监狱</i>

32
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,908
圣诞快乐 神父

33
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,493
别惹麻烦

34
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,583
我没有秘密

35
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,669
你有想过生小孩吗

36
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,631
没打中…现在你得吻我

37
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,889
失陪了 我的平衡环需要上鲸油

38
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,099
再见

39
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,725
你可能还有些客人

40
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,769
今天我在镇上提起你

41
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:28,314
你跟大家说我的事
你跟他们说了什么 什么

42
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:32,277
说你有善良的眼神
好听的声音 而且没戴婚戒

43
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,238
他在那里

44
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,408
我实在太傻了 怎么会对一个

45
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,994
灯塔女管理员卸下心防

46
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:44,747
我从地狱问候你们

47
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,667
我的天 听听那甜美的男中音

48
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,419
他是那个角色的完美人选

49
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,296
角色…

50
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,381
你们要给我演出工作

51
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,010
对 在小型游乐园扮圣诞老人

52
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,890
管他的 反正是主角 我愿意

53
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,185
上晚餐了

54
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,312
<i>圣诞节前一周</i>

55
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,063
<i>圣诞树 加气站</i>

56
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,773
<i>康斯汀顿</i>

57
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,114
来看看你的狗牌上写了什么

58
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,033
“嗅尸犬”

59
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,577
也是我拿不到的工作

60
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,588
不见了 我的门廊维修组不见了

61
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,767
噢

62
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,148
帮个忙

63
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,319
又一个失败的手工艺吗

64
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,487
是的

65
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,657
如果你明天有空 我请了一天假

66
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:04,494
我在想我们可以一起看限制级电影

67
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,706
东尼罗马猪肋排的性感故事

68
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,960
但我答应孩子们明天要带他们出去玩

69
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,711
明天可以是我们的家庭日

70
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:14,837
好无聊

71
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,339
我们要去圣诞老人村

72
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,467
我恨那里 圣诞节人挤人的

73
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,844
而且超大拐杖糖都是假的

74
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,471
但是有通电

75
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,974
我们要带孩子们去

76
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,310
为什么不能陪我

77
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:32,981
霍默

78
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,067
<i>再32哩就抵达圣诞老人村</i>

79
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:48,162
老天 我真是受够了 一遍又一遍

80
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:52,542
我不想再听到鲨鱼或宝宝了

81
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,628
-玛琦 你这个叛徒
-实在太琅琅上口了

82
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,172
管他呢

83
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,680
在我的葬礼上放这首歌

84
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:07,724
<i>圣诞老人村</i>
<i>兼夏日打包驯鹿狩猎场</i>

85
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:12,979
<i>精灵耳 50美分</i>

86
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:17,358
为什么我们去的便宜公园
有这么多白人垃圾

87
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,362
老天 感觉真棒 为什么

88
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,531
我要排队去看圣诞老人了

89
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:29,495
<i>预计等待时间为八小时</i>

90
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,289
<i>永远失去了他的位置</i>

91
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:34,167
看一个喝醉的懒胖子要排八小时

92
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,461
我到公园就是不想看到家里那个胖子

93
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,837
就连光明节都挤满了人

94
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,172
<i>拥抱牛牛 警告 请勿跟牛拥抱</i>

95
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,549
<i>灯油 光明节</i>

96
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,468
去看看犹太陀螺赌场吧

97
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,722
加油 赢…

98
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,474
又输了

99
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:52,894
还以为这是我擅长的犹太活动

100
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,899
看吧

101
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,276
唯一能玩的是小孩玩的愚蠢无聊游戏

102
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,652
<i>圆顶山洞里的地精</i>

103
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,988
至少你可以开心地玩

104
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:18,169
外头的世界好可怕

105
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:21,756
地精在看着你 你最好别哭

106
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,758
别流露恐惧 因为我们都知道

107
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,927
我们都在

108
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,179
盯着你

109
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:32,266
外头的世界好可怕

110
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,853
地精在看着你 你最好别哭

111
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,021
<i>危险</i>

112
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,524
别流露恐惧 我们都知道

113
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,360
我们都在盯着你

114
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,987
<i>圣诞老人村 圆顶山洞里的地精</i>

115
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,866
兄弟 谢谢你帮我占位子

116
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,035
巴特 你插了恶霸的队

117
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:57,250
遇到这种情况 我们会把错归到
插队的人与让他插队的人身上

118
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,336
放他一马吧
我不想让我的圣诞毛衣沾到血

119
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,047
你的毛衣一定会沾到血

120
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,425
我刚说了我不想沾到血

121
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,932
<i>仅限演出人员 精灵</i>

122
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,935
<i>圣诞老人</i>

123
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,813
<i>卷趾机</i>

124
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,114
年轻人 快上来

125
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,241
圣诞老人 我是巴索洛缪·辛普森

126
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,160
-你不认识我 但…
-不 我认识你

127
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,788
你好 巴特

128
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,415
杂耍家鲍勃

129
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,125
圣诞快乐

130
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,631
<i>圣诞老人的城堡</i>

131
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,049
他的心情很好

132
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,094
太棒了 今年我一定能拿到猴子

133
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:54,307
我一直跟你说养猴子是很重大的责任

134
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,185
我都能养小孩了
我想一只猴子我还照顾得来

135
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,781
太轻松了 过了这么多年

136
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,869
我终于能看着生命从你眼中流逝
你的眼睛

137
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,955
我不能杀你

138
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,291
-你想知道原因吗
-不想

139
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,044
我是个训练有素的实力派演员

140
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,795
我入戏太深了

141
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,964
像“霓裳魅影”里的
丹尼尔·戴刘易斯

142
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,133
或是“爱情大师”里的麦克·迈尔斯

143
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,010
我为什么要相信你

144
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:34,222
因为我完全无法脱离角色

145
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,474
我是圣诞老人

146
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,476
快乐老精灵的本尊

147
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,311
呵呵呵

148
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,605
我们能进去看你吗

149
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,150
休息15分钟 圣诞老人要做礼物

150
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:52,114
<i>请等待我们对圣诞老人</i>
<i>进行愉快的背景调查</i>

151
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,534
我说他是杂耍家鲍勃

152
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,993
-他想杀我
-结果呢

153
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,370
<i>保安</i>

154
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,997
我是有证件的季节圣诞老人

155
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,833
圣诞老人联盟 地区编号5732

156
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,919
我也当过购物中心的圣诞老人

157
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,046
我还系着那条皮带

158
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,423
若你们要跟我们的圣诞老人聊这么久

159
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:10,967
就要跟他拍照

160
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,802
跟圣诞老人拍照要收40美元

161
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,804
玛琦 用你的手机拍一张

162
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,389
-拍好了
-快跑

163
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,685
这能阻止那些偷我包裹的混蛋

164
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,686
<i>火药</i>

165
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,854
包裹里有爆炸染色标记诱饵

166
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,357
你不觉得你放了太多火药吗

167
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,110
放轻松 我跟我的两指叔叔学的

168
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,614
老天 你就是包裹小偷

169
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,704
蓝尼 是谁干的 你能说话吗

170
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:41,497
你能小小声说吗

171
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,083
好 你能用血写下来吗

172
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,966
<i>宝宝圣诞节倒数</i>

173
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,386
我有点担心
我们的圣诞包裹还没送到

174
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,222
玛琦 放轻松 还有很多时间

175
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:01,058
都已经晚上八点了 今晚可是圣诞夜

176
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:05,646
坐好 看看福克斯新闻的圣诞节报道

177
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,772
<i>人权宣言</i>

178
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,816
<i>希拉里·克林顿的“同村协力”</i>
<i>物种起源</i>

179
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,818
<i>爱米莉·波斯特的“礼仪之书”</i>
<i>寂静的春天</i>

180
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:11,944
<i>我们人民</i>

181
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,946
插播一则特别报道

182
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,072
<i>圣诞节礼物盗窃幽灵</i>

183
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,907
春田镇的包裹窃盗案持续发生

184
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,160
本地居民蓝尼·雷诺

185
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:22,788
与他的圣诞包裹一起被炸个稀巴烂了

186
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,250
唯一的线索就是尸体旁的姓名缩写

187
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,377
他不是尸体 他还在呼吸

188
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,046
我说他是尸体

189
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,340
我说我不是

190
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,966
你没有说话的权利

191
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,677
“SB”是杂耍家鲍勃

192
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:40,014
原来他在搞这个
他想偷走大家的圣诞节

193
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:43,225
圣诞老人是不会偷走圣诞节的

194
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:47,104
我知道这个神秘的“SB”是谁

195
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,651
欢迎入狱 塞尔玛·布维尔

196
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,655
跟史考特·巴库拉 史蒂夫·鲍默尔
和桑德拉·布拉克说他们没嫌疑了

197
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,366
我两小时前就该去拍

198
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,076
《重返犯罪现场新奥尔良》的

199
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,203
你怎么不“时空跳跃”过去呢

200
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,789
你怎么不学着做个警察 胖子

201
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,041
我爱死了 搞错身份

202
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:11,837
我卖了十张季票给我牢房里的人

203
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,966
我们做的一切都很成功 太赞了

204
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,564
<i>欧登维 圣诞老人村</i>

205
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:31,816
麻烦到圣诞老人村

206
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,150
你为什么要去那里

207
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,152
我要拯救圣诞节

208
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,988
每个小孩到每年的这个时候
都自以为在拯救圣诞节

209
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,741
告诉你 圣诞老人村已经关闭了

210
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,119
如果我想听你的人生故事
我会叫优步

211
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,453
那我闭嘴了

212
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,832
在查明鲍勃想干嘛以前我不会走的

213
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,042
如果一小时后还没有我的消息就报警

214
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,378
我有自己的问题要处理 巴特

215
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,880
我妈把我爸关在外面吹冷风

216
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,216
他还一直敲我的窗户

217
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,635
妈说要是我开窗就没有礼物

218
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,762
-你太没用了
-不要挂

219
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,351
<i>我的计划</i>

220
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,688
经典的反派失误

221
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:12,857
<i>工作到67岁 退休后拿退休金</i>

222
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:13,899
<i>和适龄女性约会 学中文</i>
<i>寻生父</i>

223
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,568
-人生目标
-别偷看

224
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:20,072
老天 我要怎么说你才相信
我不会杀你

225
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,617
找出偷走那些圣诞礼物的人

226
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:28,247
很好 那我就要洗清我的嫌疑

227
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:32,084
逮到真正的“SB”
然后为大家拯救圣诞节

228
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,962
我先开车送你回家吧

229
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:39,175
你想要我上你的车
好吧 我要坐副驾

230
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,595
上路吧

231
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,388
坐副驾要付过路费哦

232
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,686
我是来拯救圣诞节的 计划如下

233
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,939
首先 我躲在这个箱子里

234
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,776
<i>霍默 巴特 莉萨</i>
<i>玛琦 爷爷 玛吉</i>

235
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,488
这招是从哪学来的

236
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,574
搭小丑车横跨全国能学到很多东西

237
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:08,871
谁想得到呢

238
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,414
-太棒了
-谁能猜到

239
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:11,457
谢谢

240
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,626
霍默 现在请把我放到门廊上

241
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,378
当小偷把我偷走时就跟踪对方

242
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,546
没问题

243
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,473
然后…

244
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,433
祝你好运

245
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,394
他们随时会来

246
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:54,250
<i>达夫啤酒</i>

247
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,675
无法呼吸了

248
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,219
<i>氧气</i>

249
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,393
<i>圣诞夜的深夜</i>

250
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:33,414
我的天 SB是斯密瑟斯跟伯恩斯

251
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,374
什么时候要先说斯密瑟斯了

252
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,750
你们的伎俩被拆穿了

253
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,711
还有 我的腿抽筋了

254
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,132
警方在赶来的路上了

255
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,550
警察会相信谁呢

256
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,888
相信你们还是送了他们
蒙哥玛利百货奶酪条的亿万富翁

257
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,891
伯恩斯先生 你为什么要这么做

258
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,934
一般的守财奴都会这样

259
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,062
不 问题绝对不只如此

260
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,065
我认为伯恩斯先生很沮丧

261
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,902
你真是个观察力敏锐的女孩

262
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,113
镜头别再靠近了

263
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,157
我只是想让大家体验

264
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,076
我曾体验过的心碎圣诞节

265
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,120
<i>无线电城音乐厅</i>
<i>大萧条还要五年才结束</i>

266
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,205
<i>金贝尔斯百货公司</i>

267
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,833
好国王温塞斯拉斯看着史帝芬的宴席

268
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,627
爸爸 我能去坐圣诞老人的大腿吗

269
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,128
<i>圣诞老人 北极</i>

270
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,838
我不知道

271
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,799
圣诞老人总是发放免费玩具

272
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,219
害我的朋友比尔·迈特
跟弗瑞德·哈斯布罗没生意做

273
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,429
拜托你了

274
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,271
你有什么愿望 小男孩

275
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,149
洛克福的袜子猴 史蒂倍克的自行车

276
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:45,152
还是今年最受欢迎的礼物一个橘子

277
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:49,531
我只想要妈咪给我抱抱
还有爸爸对我微笑

278
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,534
我相信你一定会

279
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,745
获得抱抱跟微笑的

280
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,122
下一位

281
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,416
你想要什么圣诞礼物

282
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,336
我想要你像你说过的那样娶我妈妈

283
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,337
下一位

284
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,797
<i>12月</i>

285
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,682
然后圣诞节到了

286
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,066
我是来送你去寄宿学校的

287
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,777
-在圣诞节当天
-今天才不会塞车

288
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,867
我下次见到我爸妈时
他们可没心情微笑

289
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,580
太迟了

290
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,626
你们俩除了一亿美元外
什么也没给过我

291
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:43,961
圣诞老人撒谎

292
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,422
蒙蒂 你误会我了

293
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,881
呵呵呵

294
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,175
圣诞老人 不可能吧

295
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:55,139
蒙蒂 现在是一九三五年
这里是金贝尔斯百货公司

296
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:59,476
橱窗里有玩具火车
还有电梯服务员麦克西

297
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,146
你正在看女性内衣部门

298
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,106
你尽管看 没有关系

299
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,649
<i>女性内衣部门 试衣间</i>

300
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,944
对…我又是个孩子了

301
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,946
事实是你爸妈确实爱过你

302
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,782
虽然没有抱抱你或亲亲你
但是他们给你更好的东西

303
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,284
他们让你变得坚强

304
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,786
当年的企业巨子跑哪去了

305
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:21,582
破产 死亡 很多被指控性侵

306
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:25,419
但你是镇上最富有 最残酷的人

307
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,755
多亏了你爸妈给你的爱

308
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,010
这倒是

309
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,428
斯密瑟斯 我们过的可是圣诞节

310
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,764
所以你今天要工作 帮帮我

311
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,015
今天也是我生日

312
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,100
别指望我会给你两份礼物

313
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,569
我的葡萄干来了

314
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,281
至少他愿意吃东西了

315
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,287
伯恩斯先生万岁

316
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,830
天佑大家

317
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,123
<i>圣诞节</i>

318
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,792
说真的 这真的很棒

319
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,502
<i>圣诞节 清晨六点</i>

320
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,673
我们办到了 礼物都放到树下了

321
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,511
我好幸运 因为没人能偷走我的礼物

322
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:20,641
我只想要享受平静的一刻
好好抱着我的老婆

323
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,061
圣诞节到了

324
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,772
这么早就醒了

325
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,151
-滑笛
-卡祖笛

326
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,491
到地下室跟我会合

327
00:18:37,574 --> 00:18:38,992
好的

328
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,327
合照时间

329
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,206
<i>辛普森一家祝各位圣诞快乐</i>

330
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,547
珍妮 你还没学会这首蠢曲子吗

331
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,133
都弹这么多遍了 给我停下来…

332
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,260
那女孩真的弹得很差

333
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,055
你好 卡珊卓

334
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,224
我带了一份圣诞礼物给你

335
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,188
我知道你是谁 做过什么事

336
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,232
我想要你吻我

337
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:14,027
-你真的该走了
-外头零下20度

338
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:17,823
-你不能进来
-给我一瓶啤酒吧

339
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,201
-我想当个绅士
-我想要你吻我

340
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:24,079
你是很吸引人

341
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,456
那就签字吧

342
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,500
<i>依偎合同 卡珊卓·帕特森</i>
<i>和罗伯特·特维勒格订立</i>

343
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:32,337
宝贝 外头很冷

344
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,971
谁快开灯吧

345
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,974
也太晚开了吧 你不觉得吗

346
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,476
<i>春田机场</i>

347
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,936
<i>库斯提汉堡店</i>

348
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,939
史蒂夫…等一下

349
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:55,110
抱歉 我正要离开这个美妙小镇

350
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,405
很棒的地方 太棒了

351
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,200
是我去过最棒的春田镇

352
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,412
你能教教我吗

353
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,331
<i>救命 我老板有毒且有辐射</i>

354
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,541
教你什么 我天生就这个样子
好棒的咖啡

355
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,627
运一卡车到西雅图去

356
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,338
你怎么能这么快乐

357
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,549
-内心深处的你也是快乐的
-我真的不这么认为

358
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,593
蒙蒂 看着我的眼睛

359
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,470
我不知道我办不办得到

360
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:29,478
你活得好好的 你有钱到不合理

361
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:33,815
你是查尔斯·蒙哥马利·伯恩斯

362
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,073
落地时伤到自己了吗

363
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,699
不 是跳起来的时候

364
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:52,376
<i>用巴特的肠子装饰大厅</i>

365
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:56,380
<i>火烤现金</i>

366
00:20:56,463 --> 00:21:00,884
<i>圣诞快乐 老天 又输了</i>

367
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:04,721
<i>欧坦能鲍伯</i>

368
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:08,558
<i>想念鼓手男孩的圣诞节</i>

369
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,396
<i>三位智者祝你圣诞快乐</i>

370
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:16,149
<i>你喝的啤酒跟我喝的一样吗</i>

371
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:19,820
<i>老天猫</i>

372
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:23,490
<i>佳节期间的霍默</i>

373
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:28,078
<i>2020新年快乐</i>
<i>啤酒喝不停 达夫</i>

374
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,961
字幕翻译：侯敏生