1
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,591
只有我還記得日光節約時間嗎？

2
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,722
（＂謀殺犯的行銷＂）

3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,516
（殺維爾）

4
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,351
（你有權保持緘默）

5
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,853
（證物，勿動）

6
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,229
（威斯康辛＂判我有罪＂州）

7
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,647
（網飛股價）

8
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,982
（極有可能上大學，極有可能殺人）

9
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,317
我在這裡待了１７年

10
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:30,947
上過ＨＢＯ，網飛，和國際房屋獵人

11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,784
現在有兩個大律師來幫我

12
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,705
沒有掙扎跡象，屋內沒有ＤＮＡ證據

13
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,000
也沒有年輕美女失蹤

14
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,795
我覺得很有可能根本沒有人被殺

15
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,677
我是當初將他定罪的陪審團成員

16
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,554
要是知道沒有人死掉

17
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,056
我們也許就不會投他有罪了

18
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,932
我再說一次，也許不會

19
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,560
天大的好消息

20
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,437
我們續約第二季了

21
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,730
那我能吸引的對象呢？

22
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:06,066
大多是２５到５４歲的女性

23
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,109
你是說＂上訴＂啊

24
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,527
這你就別想了

25
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,128
怎麼了，親愛的，你想打嗝嗎？

26
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,548
她什麼時候不打嗝了，寶寶嘛

27
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,760
要是你會說話就好了

28
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:37,555
說不了話的人最多意見了

29
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,561
當我沒說

30
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:48,942
等等，有個節目在教嬰兒手語

31
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,235
（寶寶手語）

32
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,236
（高爾夫與寶寶頻道）

33
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,362
（還要）

34
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,488
（牛奶）

35
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,697
（媽咪）

36
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,410
我終於能跟我的寶貝溝通了

37
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:03,414
媚姬，我們這禮拜要不斷練習

38
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,875
不知道那孩子到底在氣什麼

39
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,380
別擔心，小寶貝

40
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:13,049
我能活到早上

41
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,303
這下我完了

42
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,056
恭喜寶寶們

43
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,684
我們今天學到很多手勢

44
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,395
希望你不會＂還要＂看更多

45
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,022
因為本節目＂到此為止＂

46
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:32,026
因為政府資金已經＂沒了＂

47
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,864
好了，媚姬，你是＂還要＂？

48
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,699
還是＂到此為止＂？

49
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,578
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

50
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,372
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

51
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,417
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

52
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,170
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

53
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,089
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

54
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,008
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

55
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,343
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

56
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,595
＂還要＂還是＂到此為止＂？

57
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,181
好極了，這下全部吃完了

58
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:06,603
我還以為是放在很遠的地方的甜甜圈

59
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,229
＂還要＂嗎？

60
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:09,814
＂還要＂嗎？

61
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,567
２２點，你爆了

62
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,403
到１７點就要＂到此為止＂

63
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,989
你會說＂１７點＂嗎？

64
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,866
不要教她賭博

65
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,618
來吧，莊家，再來一局

66
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,120
先生，我不想拿你的錢

67
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:30,418
記得要確認你殺的戰士真的死透了

68
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:34,714
我建議你用刀刺，用酸溶解
在屁股上放炸藥…

69
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,342
傑森，晚餐要涼了

70
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,928
媽，我在三千萬人面前直播耶

71
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,431
把他們煮了，拿他們餵豬
把他們炸了

72
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:47,018
不要在媚姬面前看，她會做惡夢的

73
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:48,645
隨便

74
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,563
這比較像話

75
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,108
韓賽爾將渾身是血的巫婆推進烤箱

76
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:57,237
巫婆大喊＂好燙啊＂

77
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,657
還要嗎？還要？

78
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,200
你還想聽故事？

79
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:06,246
我的寶貝在跟我說話

80
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,413
我來測試一下

81
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,706
你喜歡豌豆嗎？

82
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:09,791
（還要）

83
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,376
你喜歡蘋果醬嗎？

84
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,252
（還要）

85
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,420
你喜歡＂星際大戰＂系列電影嗎？

86
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,047
（不要了）

87
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,674
那尤達寶寶呢？

88
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,134
（我曾經是美國人最愛的寶寶）

89
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,306
真是太棒了

90
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,225
你們看媚姬多厲害

91
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,980
媚姬，你＂還要＂嗎？

92
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,314
乖寶寶

93
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,525
大家快看，她會了

94
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,402
太棒了

95
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,903
爸，你看

96
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,989
我們沒在看的時候他才會唱歌

97
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,991
經典的誇張式幽默

98
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,285
跳舞的青蛙

99
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,911
煮了一定很好吃

100
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:51,165
你們為了這些錯過了媚姬重要的時刻

101
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,962
從現在起，我們要限制看手機的時間

102
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,967
太好了

103
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:04,262
然後我們就會好好聊天

104
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:09,434
史蒂夫賈伯斯就不讓小孩用平板電腦

105
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,270
我猜他是個很棒的家長

106
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,815
從現在起，大家每週只能用半小時

107
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:16,774
就這樣

108
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,026
真的嗎，瑪姬？

109
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,112
你放得下你的釘趣網？

110
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,364
我的失敗蛋糕很重要

111
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,367
如果有人蛋糕做失敗，得讓他們知道

112
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:33,041
好吧，每週半小時，包括我在內

113
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,210
你好像忘了某樣東西

114
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:38,963
還有呢？

115
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,007
還有呢？

116
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,260
不准再看螢幕

117
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,470
你也是

118
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,098
（一週後）在訊息勒戒中心

119
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,267
我們會以人道方式幫你戒癮

120
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,311
像是健行，騎單車

121
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,647
以及有效矯正老鼠的人道方式

122
00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:01,277
代價是死去之後必須留下大腦

123
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,530
希望我們沒必要去這種地方

124
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,117
好，大家集合

125
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,994
好，一個禮拜過去了

126
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,080
我來檢查你們的螢幕時間

127
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:13,289
（本週螢幕時間，２２分鐘）

128
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,499
（本週螢幕時間，１７分鐘）

129
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:15,833
（未使用螢幕）

130
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,877
時間好少呢

131
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,129
我真是以你們為榮

132
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:23,549
我都忘了折書脊有多好玩了

133
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:24,884
（＂通往權力的通道＂）

134
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,762
我變得更冷靜，更開心

135
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:30,098
還看到以前從沒看過的事

136
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,643
你知道我們的第二隻狗是貓嗎？

137
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,522
（阿喬里程數與螢幕時間修改服務）

138
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:41,651
抱歉，我上次把螢幕時間修改扳手

139
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,735
忘在這裡了

140
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,654
我拿了就走

141
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,616
你們找這個人來竄改螢幕時間？

142
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,369
看來我搞砸這筆生意了

143
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,413
有人想買廂型車嗎？

144
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,624
只開過兩哩喔

145
00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,419
搞什麼…

146
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,963
好了，閉上眼睛

147
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,590
我要把這些藏在你們找不到的地方

148
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,146
（１００１種音效）

149
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,939
（春田核電廠）

150
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:21,274
沒有手機

151
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:24,444
害我一整天上班沒事做

152
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,779
（新版安全守則）只能盯著我的腳

153
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,197
兄弟，你很無聊是嗎？

154
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,324
不如玩玩報紙上的解字遊戲吧

155
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,618
把字拼好，解開有趣的謎題

156
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,245
原來是這樣

157
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,330
我以為是報社校對員中風了

158
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,707
（冷卻液過熱）我來瞧瞧

159
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,626
ＤＤＡ

160
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,505
ＤＤＡ

161
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:46,966
ＤＤＡ

162
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,512
是＂爸爸＂，我想到了

163
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,765
這是我生平第一次解字謎

164
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,322
（哈佛字謎學校）

165
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,449
（你比我聰明）

166
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,123
＂爸爸把派吃完了＂

167
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,208
快打給報社

168
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,709
告訴他們有人解開字謎了

169
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,085
再給我拿點派過來

170
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,922
我很享受不用手機

171
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,424
那讓我更能察覺世界的變化

172
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,552
感覺我的感官都變得更敏銳

173
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,061
好了，媚姬，我們走吧

174
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,562
跟阿姨說再見

175
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,274
（著火怪物，臭死人）

176
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,651
真可愛

177
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,152
她說什麼？

178
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,951
她在這裡總是睡得特別好

179
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,132
小心，要是進入火星大氣層角度太大

180
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,259
我們會燒起來的

181
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,639
告訴我的家人我愛他們

182
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,433
史提夫，他們都知道

183
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,480
霸子只能靠想像力玩耍呢

184
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,774
這裡是木星一號，聽見了嗎？

185
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,234
我聽見了

186
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,860
你在做什麼？

187
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,571
跟木星一號通話

188
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,657
我來讓你見識真正的木星一號

189
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,159
木星一號呼叫任務中心

190
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,412
發射光子魚雷

191
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,747
（任務中心，木星一號）

192
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,541
（老春田圖書館）

193
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,004
我要做一份很重要的兩頁報告

194
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:51,591
你知道要怎麼不用電腦找書嗎？

195
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,427
老式的卡片目錄放在地下室

196
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:57,805
敲敲鍋子把負鼠嚇走　　　　好

197
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:10,026
老式卡片，觸感好棒

198
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,485
（我們可以吃掉她嗎？）

199
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,778
（不行，繼續裝負鼠）

200
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,992
這個上面有手寫註記呢

201
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:18,993
＂親愛的讀者…＂

202
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,620
就是我

203
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:24,248
＂請參閱脫蠟技術＂

204
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,667
我會參閱的

205
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:32,089
＂ＮＪＸＩ＂，觸霉頭

206
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,134
＂ＰＩＵＱ＂，妙語

207
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,304
連我不會的字都拼得出來

208
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,640
拼字之舞

209
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,933
來吧，來吧

210
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,227
有這個傻子在

211
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,229
解出所有字謎

212
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,024
解開字謎

213
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,193
在你眼中我是多麼渺小

214
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,653
看我轉圈圈

215
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,739
（核子反應爐核心）

216
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,618
好，我需要煙花女醬汁的食譜

217
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,119
不能上網查

218
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,789
沒問題，我有食譜書

219
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,333
＂帕德瑪拉克希米熱辣好滋味＂

220
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,336
＂蒂芬妮哈蒂許蘿蔔趣＂

221
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,297
我做了１４道，一點也不有趣

222
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,882
我知道要找誰了

223
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,510
喂？

224
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,179
煙花女醬汁要怎麼做？

225
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,597
你想要食譜？

226
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,349
當然，沒問題，去拿枝筆

227
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,434
第一步，到店裡來

228
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,395
第二步，付錢

229
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,689
第三步，我把醬汁淋在麵上

230
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,524
就這麼做

231
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,694
（春田市小學）

232
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,618
真是美好的一天

233
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,786
真的

234
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,747
我今天花了五分鐘盯著太陽看

235
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:53,045
媽媽呢？

236
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,673
為什麼櫃子裡有敲鍵盤的聲音？

237
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,301
（五歌搜尋，煙花女醬汁）

238
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,762
等等，先等等

239
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:05,182
是誰說不准看螢幕的？

240
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,308
是誰？

241
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,352
是你

242
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,731
我知道，我有問題

243
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,149
所以我替大家報名

244
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,068
去螢幕上癮症勒戒中心住一個月

245
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:19,155
但是有癮的人不是我們，是你

246
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,323
上癮的人就是會這麼說

247
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,117
或是正常人

248
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,119
上癮的人也會這麼說

249
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,663
那上癮的人不會說什麼？

250
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,790
肯定不是這句話

251
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,084
我們明天就去

252
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,502
我來照顧寵物

253
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,254
我帶了好幾隻回來

254
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,091
我是狼老二

255
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,471
（保證，第五次破戒免費）

256
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,639
（治賭癮，失敗退兩倍錢）到了嗎…

257
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,391
（名人死亡螺旋）到了嗎…

258
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:51,187
到了嗎…

259
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,563
夠了

260
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,440
（到了嗎？）

261
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,941
我說夠了

262
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,153
（訊息勒戒中心）

263
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,238
有問題的是媽

264
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,073
怎麼會是我們被關在…

265
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,283
這座天堂？

266
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,703
禪意花園，無邊際泳池

267
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,663
還有德魯博士駐院？

268
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,957
我來這裡是因為我戒不了水果忍者

269
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,876
去死吧，芒果

270
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,632
如果這裡是勒戒中心，那我肯定上癮

271
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,509
歡迎來到訊息勒戒中心

272
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,385
我是倫德醫生

273
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,346
醫生，這座監獄太讚了

274
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,598
非常適合我們一家

275
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,225
我只有一個問題

276
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,561
這裡要多少錢？

277
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:36,899
你們的費用完全由科技業富翁資助

278
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:40,653
他們為了自己的科技害你們來到這裡

279
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:41,946
感到愧疚不已

280
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,906
所以免費？

281
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,076
孩子們，我們找到避暑的地方了

282
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,995
成年人將重新進行更健康…

283
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,331
經得起時間考驗的替代活動

284
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,000
譬如說吃喝，偷情

285
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,961
無盡的捉迷藏

286
00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:01,340
編辮子，聽唐納高德的播客

287
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:05,010
有四個人因穿上＂黑湖妖潭＂的服裝

288
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,512
窒息而死

289
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,305
至少我猜測是如此

290
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:10,850
這位年輕人

291
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,602
你不必再玩第一人稱射擊遊戲

292
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:17,189
我們會給你真正的步槍

293
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,360
接招吧，憲法第二修正案

294
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,907
該開始治療了，瑪姬

295
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,742
我喜歡你的口音

296
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,369
我都不知道我有口音

297
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,329
這是我們唯一的電腦

298
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:36,959
你可以用它告別過去的網路生活

299
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:40,880
再會了，ＩＧ，臉書和＂近鄰＂

300
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,674
你們都曾讓我開心，也讓我害怕

301
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,050
是的，瑪姬

302
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:50,180
剪斷那些讓你像木偶一樣跳舞的線

303
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:52,516
臉書帳號無法刪除

304
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,185
請勿嘗試…

305
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,938
怎麼了，荷馬？

306
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,732
為什麼一臉愁容？

307
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,611
我不知道沒有線上接龍要怎麼過活

308
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,279
我有辦法

309
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,405
包裝還沒拆

310
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,741
我來拆

311
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,117
盒子沒開

312
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,702
我來開

313
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,703
你能不能…

314
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,080
我來發牌

315
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,291
還有…　　　　玩接龍

316
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,588
我需要１１…

317
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,924
我拿手機來做所有事

318
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,217
就是不打電話給送我手機的爸媽

319
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,594
你現在就可以打給他們

320
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:31,931
爸爸？

321
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,682
不會吧

322
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,434
不會吧

323
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,311
不會吧

324
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,354
他說什麼？

325
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,563
他討厭我

326
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,607
好吧，我們來談談

327
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,984
什麼話題都好，就是不能聊電動

328
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,905
我不禁流下眼淚

329
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:51,158
看著我的角色在屍體上跳了一段舞

330
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,911
太棒了　　　　這個遊戲超讚

331
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,455
我快要控制不住了，不過沒關係

332
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,999
現代的治療師有許多有效的方法

333
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,966
放毒氣不是個好兆頭

334
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,720
大家不斷勸說不要用電子產品

335
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,806
讓我更想念我的手機

336
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,767
對，我今天跟人聊起天氣

337
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:21,230
才發現我根本不知道庫帕提諾的氣溫

338
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,065
我需要手機　　　　我也是

339
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,609
如果庫斯提發了推文，我得轉發

340
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,112
我得轉發…　　　　我需要手機

341
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,655
我得轉發…　　　　我需要手機

342
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,532
我得轉發…　　　　我需要手機

343
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,993
我得轉發　　　　我需要手機

344
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,578
我們不能走

345
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,707
研究顯示科技產品比海洛因更難戒

346
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,334
谷歌和抖音都說那是騙人的

347
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,128
我們必須戒掉

348
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,589
你大錯特錯，瑪姬

349
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,092
錯得離譜

350
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,219
自從我國立國以來

351
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:54,888
所有家庭都面臨住在一起

352
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,141
又不能把對方逼瘋的問題

353
00:16:57,224 --> 00:17:01,061
前兩百年都靠小提琴，直到戰爭爆發

354
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,438
當時這個制度相當好

355
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,982
後來他們發明了無線電廣播

356
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,277
但是沒有螢幕，大家還是得看著彼此

357
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,904
於是就發生了第二次世界大戰

358
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,614
戰後出現了電視

359
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,992
讓矽谷有時間發明…

360
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,911
能讓我們完全孤立的裝置

361
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:23,375
最後，美國家庭終於不再有爭端

362
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,878
這有半句話是真的嗎？

363
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,755
等我在Ｒｅｄｄｉｔ上發文後

364
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:28,756
就是真的了

365
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:33,302
好，我們說聲再見，然後去收拾行李

366
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,846
這是怎麼回事？

367
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,599
我以為這裡沒有電子產品

368
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,517
對病患來說是的

369
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,687
但是我們還有非法副業要經營

370
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:48,901
＂在家就能每天賺四百，想瞭解嗎＂

371
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:52,279
你用我的郵件帳號寄出垃圾信件？

372
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,324
你趁她辦理入住的時候偷取密碼

373
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,534
這裡跟其他勒戒中心不一樣

374
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,286
根本就是詐騙

375
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:02,164
我們要向世人揭發你

376
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,791
恐怕沒辦法

377
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,417
你們簽了合約

378
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:09,546
而且每個出口都有雷射偵測系統

379
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,882
勒戒中心還有雷射？

380
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:16,053
容我提醒各位，這裡是詐騙勒戒中心

381
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,443
（＂噤界＂）

382
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,402
（好痛）

383
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,700
（花園）

384
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:46,083
（危險）

385
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,753
（注意，隱形雷射監測中）

386
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,797
（用爽身粉）

387
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,632
（屁股癢嗎？）

388
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,681
（出口）

389
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:04,643
（搞定）

390
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,395
（乖寶寶）

391
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,856
（真聰明）

392
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:10,315
（魚）

393
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,400
（香蕉）

394
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,484
（郵局罷工）

395
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:13,861
（巴布席格）

396
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,780
（爽身粉很便宜）

397
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,287
有人叫木星一號嗎？

398
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,956
我要搭太空船

399
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:32,171
把這騙子關進我們最黑最濕的牢房

400
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,423
遠離無線網路

401
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,216
收訊只有一格，王八蛋

402
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,429
我只需要一格就能破壞你的推薦歌單

403
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,598
希望你喜歡小河樂團

404
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:02,117
不，拜託你還是開警笛吧

405
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,205
這樣好多了

406
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,417
３個警察分１２個甜甜圈

407
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:14,046
根本除不盡，不如我就全吃了吧

408
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,298
維古姆隊長

409
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,092
我可以幫你戒掉食物成癮症

410
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,552
什麼意思？

411
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,931
就心理學來看，你是個配槍的寶寶

412
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,641
不斷把食物往嘴裡塞

413
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,394
整天吃個不停，像豬一樣

414
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,271
你真是個優秀的性格剖析師

415
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,982
有你在，我們就不需要ＤＮＡ證據了

416
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,984
我實在不想再取…

417
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,653
罪犯＂那裡的＂樣本了

418
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,281
警官，其實只要一撮頭髮就行了

419
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,574
什麼？

420
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:53,377
（癮頭復發，下週見）

421
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:58,298
（德魯醫生，勒戒，或是受我一掌）

422
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:03,470
（很重要所以說兩次，保證成功）

423
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:08,558
（茫然，讓你改進）

424
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:13,355
（壓力網，過度放鬆專用）

425
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:18,318
（唐頓勒戒莊園）

426
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,571
（紀念詹姆斯利普敦）

427
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,825
謝謝觀賞

428
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,995
翻譯：ＳＤＩ　Ｍｅｄｉａ