1 00:00:00,166 --> 00:00:01,709 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:05,709 --> 00:00:08,583 Am I the only one who remembered daylight savings time? 3 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,250 CONVICT: Been here 17 years. 4 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,792 Been on the HBO, the Netflix 5 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:30,959 and one House Hunters International. 6 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:34,875 But now I got two new hotshot lawyers working my case. 7 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,709 No sign of a struggle, no DNA evidence in the cabin 8 00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:42,083 and no attractive young woman declared missing. 9 00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:45,792 I think there's a very real chance no one was murdered. 10 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,208 (upbeat music playing) 11 00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:52,625 I was on the jury that convicted him. 12 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:54,583 Had we known there was no victim, 13 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,959 we might not have voted guilty. I repeat, might not. 14 00:00:59,208 --> 00:01:00,625 Fantastic news. 15 00:01:00,709 --> 00:01:02,750 We got picked up for a second season. 16 00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:03,917 And my appeal? 17 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,083 Mostly to women 25 to 54. 18 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,333 Oh. You mean "appeal" appeal. 19 00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:09,625 Oh, well, that's not happenin. 20 00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:12,709 (babbling) 21 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,417 (all babbling) 22 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,208 What is it, sweetie? Are you gassy? 23 00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,583 Uh, when is she not gassy? 24 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:30,792 Baby burn. 25 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,542 (moans) If only you could talk. 26 00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:37,458 It's the people who can't speak that have so much to share. 27 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:41,750 (babbling) 28 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:43,542 Or maybe not. 29 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:46,500 (gasps) Wait a minute. I think there's a show 30 00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,959 about teaching a baby sign language. 31 00:01:49,291 --> 00:01:51,792 (melodious music playing on TV) 32 00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:54,792 More milk, mommy. 33 00:01:55,834 --> 00:01:59,291 (gasps) I could finally talk to my baby. 34 00:01:59,458 --> 00:02:03,417 Maggie, we have a fun week of repetitive drills ahead. 35 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,834 I wonder what the kid was so upset about. 36 00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,125 (suspenseful music playing) 37 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,041 Don't worry, little baby. 38 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,291 I'll be okay till morning. 39 00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:15,291 (suspenseful music playing) 40 00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:17,125 Now I'm screwed. 41 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:22,750 Congratulations, babies, we've learned some great signs today. 42 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:28,041 I hope you don't want "more," because we're "all done," 43 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:31,834 because our government funding "ran out." 44 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:34,083 Okay, Maggie. 45 00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:37,667 Do you want "more" or are you "all done"? 46 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,792 "More" or "all done"? 47 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,625 "More" or "all done"? 48 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:47,417 "More" or "all done"? 49 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:50,458 "More" or "all done"? 50 00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:53,208 "More" or "all done"? 51 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:55,166 "More" or "all done"? 52 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,375 "More" or "all done"? 53 00:02:57,458 --> 00:02:58,750 "More" or "all done"? 54 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,917 Oh, great, now I'm out of Cheerios. 55 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:01,917 (belches) 56 00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:04,959 Oh, I thought they were doughnuts 57 00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,625 that were really far away. 58 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:08,250 "More"? 59 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:11,625 "More"? Aw, that's 22. 60 00:03:11,709 --> 00:03:12,625 You busted. 61 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:15,375 Always say "all done" on a hard 17. 62 00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:18,000 Can you say that? "Hard 17"? 63 00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,625 Don't teach her gambling. 64 00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:21,542 Let's go, dealer. One more hand. 65 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,875 Aw, sir, I don't want to take your money. 66 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,333 (groans) 67 00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:26,709 (Maggie chomping) 68 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,917 (on PC) Remember to make sure that the warriors you kill 69 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,333 are actually dead. 70 00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:32,917 I recommend stabbing, dissolving in acid, 71 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,834 dynamite in the butt... 72 00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:37,291 GAMER'S MOM: Jason. You're late for dinner! 73 00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,917 Ma, I'm talking to 30 million people! 74 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:43,417 Boil them, let pigs eat them, Kentucky-fry them... 75 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:46,792 Don't play that in front of Maggie. She'll have nightmares. 76 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,417 Eh, suit yourself. 77 00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:50,542 This is more like it. 78 00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:54,041 "Hansel shoved the blood-covered witch into the oven. 79 00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:57,208 'I'm burning alive, ' screamed the witch." 80 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,333 More? More? 81 00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,375 (gasps) You want more book? 82 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,250 My baby's communicating with me. 83 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,000 Let me test it out. Do you like peas? 84 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:11,542 -More. -Do you like applesauce? 85 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,291 -More. -Do you like Star Wars movies? 86 00:04:14,417 --> 00:04:15,667 No more. 87 00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:17,750 What about Baby Yoda? 88 00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:19,583 I was America's baby once. 89 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:21,208 Hmm. 90 00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:22,458 (slurping) 91 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:27,208 This is so exciting. Look, look what Maggie can do. 92 00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:28,625 (chewing) 93 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,625 Maggie, do you want "more"? 94 00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:33,041 That's my girl. 95 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,500 Look, everyone. She's doing it. 96 00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,542 Yeah, that's great. 97 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,959 Dad, check this out. 98 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,125 He only sings when we're not looking. 99 00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,083 Classic aggravation humor. 100 00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,417 -(Marge groans) -A dancing frog. 101 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,000 Bet that would cook up nice. 102 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:49,792 You're missing a crucial moment in Maggie's development 103 00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:51,000 because of these. 104 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,417 From now on, we're gonna limit the time 105 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,917 we spend looking at our stupid phones. 106 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:58,959 (laughter) 107 00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,792 Yeah, that's great. 108 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:04,291 And then we'll have a conversation. 109 00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,083 (laughs) 110 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:09,500 Steve Jobs wouldn't let his children use his iPads, 111 00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:12,083 and he was a great parent, I assume. 112 00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:15,834 From now on, everyone gets a half hour of screen time a week. 113 00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:18,041 -And that's it. -Really, Marge? 114 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:21,166 You think you can give up your Pinterest? 115 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,250 My cake fails are important. 116 00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:26,208 If people fail at cake, they need to be told. 117 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,667 Okay. Half an hour a week 118 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:32,959 for everyone, including me. 119 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,250 I believe there's something you're forgetting. 120 00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:37,750 (sighs) 121 00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:41,458 And? And? 122 00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:45,500 (grunts) No more screens. You, too. 123 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:51,250 Here at Messages, we treat your addiction humanely, 124 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:54,375 with hiking and biking and human equivalents of things 125 00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:56,375 that work with rats. 126 00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:57,583 (rats squeaking) 127 00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:01,166 And all we ask for is your brain when you die. 128 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:04,125 Well, let's pray this place won't be necessary. 129 00:06:04,208 --> 00:06:08,000 -(cow bell rings) -All right, let's round 'em up. 130 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:10,000 Okay. It's been one week. 131 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,000 Let me check your screen times. 132 00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:15,792 (suspenseful music) 133 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,834 Wow. They're really low. 134 00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:20,125 I'm so proud of you. 135 00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:23,583 I forgot how great it was to crack the spine of a book. 136 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,709 -(book spine cracking) -(laughs softly) 137 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,667 I'm calmer, I'm happier, 138 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:30,166 I'm seeing things I never saw before. 139 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,458 Did you know our second dog is a cat? 140 00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:34,792 (doorbell rings) 141 00:06:36,291 --> 00:06:37,458 Hmm? 142 00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:38,500 (door creaks open) 143 00:06:38,792 --> 00:06:40,208 Sorry, last time I was here, 144 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,834 I left my screen time reversal wrench. 145 00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:44,667 I could just get that back. 146 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:48,417 You guys have been having this man dial back your screen time? 147 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,542 Oops. Looks like I just lost a contract. 148 00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,250 Well, anybody want to buy a van? 149 00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:56,667 It only has two miles on it. 150 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,041 (chuckles) 151 00:06:58,125 --> 00:06:59,542 -(grumbles) -What the...? 152 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,875 Okay, close your eyes. 153 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,667 I'm putting these someplace you'll never find them. 154 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,166 (footsteps descending staircase) 155 00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:10,834 (car departing) 156 00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:13,166 (drawbridge lowering) 157 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,500 (plane taking off) 158 00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:17,083 (jackhammer grinding) 159 00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,333 (bird squawks) 160 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:24,625 No cell phone. Stuck at work all day with nothing to do. 161 00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,291 Lookin' at my feet. 162 00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:28,250 Hey, big guy. What, are you bored? 163 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,291 Why don't you do the Daily Jumble in the paper? 164 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:32,500 Unscramble the words to solve a funny riddle. 165 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,208 Oh, that's what it is. 166 00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:36,291 I thought the proofreader had a stroke. 167 00:07:36,417 --> 00:07:38,500 Let's see. Hmm. 168 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,792 "D-D-A." 169 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:44,500 Hmm. "D-D-A." 170 00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:45,583 Hmm. 171 00:07:45,709 --> 00:07:48,083 "D-D-A." Hmm. 172 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,333 (gasps) "Dad." 173 00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,542 "Dad." I got something! 174 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:54,834 For the first time ever, I solved a puzzle. 175 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,959 (peppy music playing) 176 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:19,000 (gasps) "Dad ate all the pie." 177 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:21,834 Call the newspaper. Tell them someone has solved it. 178 00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:23,250 And get me some pie. 179 00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,125 I love not using a phone. 180 00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:28,625 It's made me much more in tune with the world. 181 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,500 (louder) It's like my senses are heightened. 182 00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:36,375 (thudding echoing loudly) 183 00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:37,792 (whooshes) 184 00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:40,166 Okay, Maggie, time to go. 185 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:41,542 Say goodbye to your aunts. 186 00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:45,291 Fire, monstser, garbage smell. 187 00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,125 So cute. (laughs softly) 188 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:48,166 What's she saying? 189 00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:50,834 (coughing) 190 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:55,083 She always sleeps so good when she's here. 191 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,041 (tapping) 192 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:01,917 Huh? 193 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,208 (imitates rocket noises) 194 00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,417 Careful. If we enter the Martian atmosphere 195 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,375 at too steep an angle, we'll burn up. 196 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,709 (gasps, screams) 197 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,542 Tell my family I love them. 198 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,208 (deep voice) They know that, Steve. 199 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,375 They know. 200 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,125 (imitates static) 201 00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:24,291 (snickers) Bart has to use his imagination. 202 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:26,625 This is Jupiter One. Do you copy? 203 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:28,125 I copy. 204 00:09:28,583 --> 00:09:29,959 What are you doing? 205 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:31,709 I'm talking to Jupiter One. 206 00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,834 Oh, I'll show you Jupiter One. 207 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,041 Jupiter One to mission control. 208 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,500 Firing photon torpedoes. 209 00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,417 (laughter) 210 00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:44,333 (suspenseful music playing) 211 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:48,041 Um, I'm doing a very important two-page paper. 212 00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:51,667 Do you have any way to find a book without using a computer? 213 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,208 Well, the old card catalogue is in the basement. 214 00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:56,875 Bang on this pot to scare the possums away. 215 00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:57,792 Okay. 216 00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,417 (metal clanking) 217 00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:00,667 -(hissing) -Uh... 218 00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:05,125 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 219 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,583 (inhales sharply) Mm, old card stock. 220 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,250 So tactile. 221 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:18,000 (gasps) Look, this one has an old handwritten note. 222 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:21,083 "Dear Reader..." Ooh, that's me. (chuckles) 223 00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:24,166 "See also: Lost Wax Technique." 224 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,625 I will see also. 225 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:27,750 (squeals) 226 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:32,792 "N-J-X-I." Jinx. 227 00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:35,417 "P-I-U-Q." Quip. 228 00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,208 I'm solving words I don't even know. 229 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,625 ♪ Jumble boogie, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 230 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:42,834 ♪ Get down, get down ♪ 231 00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:45,208 ♪ With the goobie, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 232 00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:47,291 ♪ Unjumbled that is boogie ♪ 233 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:49,667 ♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, solve a jumble ♪ 234 00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:52,041 ♪ In your face, world, I'm so humble ♪ 235 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:53,709 ♪ Now, watch me twirl. ♪ 236 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:56,792 -(screams) -(door closes) 237 00:10:57,417 --> 00:11:00,417 Okay, okay. I need the recipe for puttanesca sauce. 238 00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:02,041 Can't go online. 239 00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:03,250 No problem. 240 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,834 I've got cookbooks. 241 00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:07,375 Padma Lakshmi's Hot and Zesty. 242 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,333 Tiffany Haddish's Fun with Radishes. 243 00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:13,041 I made 14 of those-- they weren't that fun. 244 00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:14,834 (gasps) I know who to call. 245 00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:16,083 (beeping) 246 00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:17,500 Hello? 247 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:20,250 What's the recipe for puttanesca sauce? 248 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:21,625 Oh, you want-a the recipe? 249 00:11:21,709 --> 00:11:23,333 Sure, sure, get a pencil. 250 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,333 Step-a one, you come here. 251 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,500 Step-a two, you pay for it. 252 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,667 Step-a three, I put it on-a some pasta. 253 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,500 And that's-a the recipe! 254 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,041 (moans) 255 00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:36,208 (tires screeching) 256 00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:38,291 (pleasant music playing) 257 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,208 (inhales deeply) 258 00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:42,375 Oh, what a great day. 259 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:43,959 Oh, you said it. 260 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,583 I spent five minutes today just looking at the sun. 261 00:11:46,959 --> 00:11:51,166 (grunts, groans) 262 00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:53,125 Hey, where's Mom? 263 00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:55,583 And why do I hear clicking from this closet? 264 00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:59,291 (suspenseful music playing) 265 00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:01,959 Hold on a beat. Just... hold on. 266 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:05,041 Who was the one who said no screen time? 267 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,208 Who? 268 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:08,291 It was you. 269 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:10,375 (sighs) I know. 270 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:11,875 I have a problem. 271 00:12:11,959 --> 00:12:14,000 So, I'm signing us all up for a month 272 00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,250 at that screen addiction rehab center. 273 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:19,125 But we're not addicted, you are! 274 00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:21,500 That's exactly what an addict would say. 275 00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,166 Or a normal person. 276 00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:25,125 That's also what an addict would say. 277 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:27,709 Well, what wouldn't an addict say?! 278 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,709 Not that, that's for sure. 279 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,875 We'll all go there starting tomorrow. 280 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,417 And I'll watch the pets. 281 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,208 I brought a bunch of them inside. 282 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,208 (howling) 283 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,125 I'm the beta. 284 00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,458 (engine revving) 285 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:44,667 BART AND LISA: Are we there yet? 286 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:46,625 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 287 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,125 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 288 00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:50,333 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 289 00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:52,500 -Are we there yet? -Knock off that racket! 290 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,208 Are we there yet? 291 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,917 I said knock it off! 292 00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,166 (engine revving) 293 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,250 Mom's got the problem. 294 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:02,458 How come we're stuck in... 295 00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:04,625 paradise? 296 00:13:04,709 --> 00:13:07,667 Oh, Zen gardens, infinity pool? 297 00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:09,500 Dr. Drew on call? 298 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,834 I'm just here because I can't stop Fruit Ninja. 299 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,917 Die, mangoes, die! 300 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,250 (grunting) 301 00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:19,542 If this is an addiction center, I'm hooked. 302 00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:21,333 Welcome to Messages. 303 00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,500 I am Dr. Lund. 304 00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:25,166 Doc, this prison is great. 305 00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:27,542 Nothing but the best for my family. 306 00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:29,291 I just have one question. 307 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:32,458 How much does this place cost? 308 00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:35,542 Your stay is entirely funded by donations 309 00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:38,000 from tech billionaires, who feel guilty 310 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:42,041 that their sleek, disruptive technology put you here. 311 00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:43,875 (gasps) It's free? 312 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:47,041 Kids, we've found our summer home. 313 00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:50,333 The adults will reconnect with healthier, 314 00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:52,375 time-tested alternatives 315 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:55,250 like eating, drinking, fornicating, 316 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:58,166 relentless hide-and-seek, the braiding of hair, 317 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:01,041 listening to Dana Gould's podcast. 318 00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:05,000 Four people suffocated in the Creature from the Black Lagoon's 319 00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,333 suit until they got it right. 320 00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:09,333 -At least, I'm guessing that's true. -(sighs) 321 00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:13,792 And you, young man, instead of playing first-person shooters, 322 00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:17,208 we are going to put a real rifle in your hands. 323 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,583 (gunshots) 324 00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,291 Take that, Second Amendment! 325 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,542 (grunting softly) 326 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,750 It's time to start healing, Marge. 327 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,583 I love your accent. 328 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,583 I didn't know I had one. 329 00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:33,375 This is our one computer, on which you can say 330 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,917 auf wiedersehen forever to your old online life. 331 00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:40,792 Farewell, Instagram, Facebook and NextDoor. 332 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,667 You all entertained me and scared me. 333 00:14:43,792 --> 00:14:45,208 Yes, Marge, yes. 334 00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:47,458 Cut forever the puppet strings that have made you 335 00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:50,208 dance like a psychotic Pinocchio. 336 00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:52,583 AUTOMATED VOICE: Facebook accounts cannot be deleted. 337 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,291 Do not try. Do not try. 338 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,166 What is wrong, Homer? 339 00:14:58,250 --> 00:14:59,709 Why the pickle puss? 340 00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:03,542 I don't know if I can live in a world without online solitaire. 341 00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:05,250 I have an answer for you. 342 00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,583 It's sealed. 343 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,959 I will open the plastic. 344 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,250 The box is shut. 345 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:11,834 I will open the box. 346 00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:13,208 -Could you...? -(grunts) 347 00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,041 I-I will deal the cards. 348 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:17,458 -And also... -I will play the solitaire! 349 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,041 -(cards shuffling) -(whistling) 350 00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,458 I need a jack, I need a jack. 351 00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:24,834 I used my phone for everything. 352 00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:27,208 Except to call the parents who gave it to me. 353 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,834 You can call them now. 354 00:15:29,083 --> 00:15:30,417 (tapping) 355 00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:32,208 Hello, Dad? 356 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,291 You don't say. You don't say. 357 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,250 You don't say. 358 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:38,291 What did he say? 359 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:39,500 He hates me. 360 00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,625 Okay, okay. Let's just talk. 361 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,917 Any subject... except video games. 362 00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:46,250 (suspenseful music) 363 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,125 A tear rolled down my face, 364 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,834 as my avatar did the electric shuffle on her corpse. 365 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:51,792 (cheering) 366 00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:53,959 Yes! That game is awesome! 367 00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,583 I'm losing control, but that's all right. 368 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,917 Today's therapist has many effective options. 369 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,667 (squeaking noise) 370 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,000 (gas hissing) 371 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:04,208 (thudding) 372 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:07,125 The gas is never a good sign. 373 00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:11,750 I have to say, all this talk about no devices 374 00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,834 has really made me want my phone. 375 00:16:13,959 --> 00:16:16,625 I know, I was talking with some guys about the weather, 376 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,834 and I realized I have no idea 377 00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,166 what the temperature is in Cupertino. 378 00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:23,166 -I need my phone. -Me, too. 379 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,667 What if Krusty posted a tweet? I must retweet! 380 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:28,250 -I must retweet! I must retweet! -I need my phone! 381 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,333 -I need my phone! -Must retweet, must retweet! 382 00:16:30,417 --> 00:16:32,000 -Must retweet, must retweet! -I need my phone! 383 00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:34,000 -Must retweet! -(growling) I need my phone! 384 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,583 -(laughs) -We can't leave! 385 00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:39,709 Studies show tech is more addictive than heroin. 386 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,291 Google and TikTok say that's a lie. 387 00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:44,125 We have to be cured. 388 00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,625 You couldn't be more wrong, Marge. 389 00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:50,083 You couldn't be more wrong. 390 00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:53,875 Since this nation was founded, families have faced the problem 391 00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:57,041 of staying together without driving each other crazy. 392 00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:59,667 For the first 200 years, they played fiddle music 393 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,208 until they had a war. 394 00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:02,208 It was a good system. 395 00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:04,834 Then, they came up with sitting around a radio. 396 00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:08,125 But without a screen, they still had time to look at each other. 397 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:10,959 So... World War II. 398 00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:14,792 With peace came TV, which bought Silicon Valley the time 399 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,959 to invent the devices that isolate us completely. 400 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:21,458 Finally, the American family was safe... 401 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,750 from itself. 402 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,041 Is any of that true? 403 00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:27,917 Once I post it on Reddit, 404 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:28,875 it will be. 405 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,417 Okay, we'll just say goodbye and then we'll get our things. 406 00:17:33,917 --> 00:17:35,792 What's going on here? 407 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,625 I thought this was a screen-free environment. 408 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,542 It is, for the patients. 409 00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:43,750 But the rest of us have side hustles to perpetrate. 410 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:47,583 "I'm making $400 a day from home. 411 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,917 Want to know how?" 412 00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:52,041 You're sending that spam through my e-mail account? 413 00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:55,250 (gasps) You stole her password when she checked in! 414 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:59,166 Unlike every other rehab, this one is a scam! 415 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:02,208 And we're gonna expose you to the world! 416 00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:04,000 I'm afraid not. 417 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,375 You signed a contract. 418 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:09,542 And every exit is guarded by a laser-detection system. 419 00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,875 You have lasers at a rehab center? 420 00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:16,041 Let me remind you, this is an evil rehab center. 421 00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:17,625 (keyboard tapping) 422 00:18:17,709 --> 00:18:19,709 ♪ ♪ 423 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,208 (disc cracks) 424 00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:32,458 D'oh! 425 00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:36,625 (suspenseful music playing) 426 00:18:49,834 --> 00:18:51,750 Use baby powder. 427 00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:53,208 Is your bottom itchy? 428 00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:03,417 (suspenseful music continues) 429 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:04,625 All done. 430 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:06,417 Good baby. 431 00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:08,083 Smart baby. 432 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:14,166 Fish, banana, postal strike, Bob Seeger. 433 00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:17,000 Talc is cheap. 434 00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:23,333 Anyone order a ride from Jupiter One? 435 00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:26,458 Ooh, I'm riding in a spaceship. 436 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,917 Stick that spammer in the darkest, 437 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,333 dankest cell we've got, Lou. 438 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:34,125 The one furthest from the Wi-Fi. 439 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,083 One bar, scumbag. 440 00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:38,125 One bar is all I need 441 00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:40,208 to scramble your Spotify suggestions. 442 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:42,667 Hope you like Little River Band. 443 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,917 ("Reminiscing" by Little River Band playing) 444 00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:47,041 (Wiggum humming) 445 00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:48,542 (Lund grumbles) 446 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:50,291 (Wiggum continues humming) 447 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:51,667 (Lund clears throat) 448 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:56,083 (groaning) 449 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,959 -(straining) -(continues humming) 450 00:19:58,125 --> 00:19:59,208 No, no! 451 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,166 Please, turn the siren on. 452 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,000 (siren wailing) 453 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:05,917 (Lund) Ah! Much better. 454 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,375 Only 12 doughnuts for three cops-- well, there's no way 455 00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:14,083 to divide them evenly, so, uh, I'll just eat them all. 456 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:16,375 Captain Wiggum, 457 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:18,959 I could help you with your food addiction. 458 00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,625 Huh? Uh, what do you mean? 459 00:20:20,834 --> 00:20:23,959 Psychologically, you are a baby with a gun, 460 00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:25,583 sticking food in his mouth. 461 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:29,291 Eat, eat, eat, all the day, like a schwein. 462 00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:31,417 Wow, you are such a great profiler. 463 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,083 With you, we wouldn't even need DNA evidence. 464 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:36,250 Boy, so sick of getting criminals 465 00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:37,875 to give semen samples. 466 00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:39,834 Uh, Chief, you don't need semen. 467 00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,291 A lock of hair will do. 468 00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,709 It what? 469 00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:44,500 (theme music playing) 470 00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:30,125 -(murmuring) -Shh!