1 00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:03,253 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,673 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,757 (tires screeching) 4 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:11,344 D'oh! (screams) 5 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,595 (tires screeching) 6 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,724 Hmm? 7 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,492 Gentlemen, I'm pleased to report strong holiday sales 8 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,911 from the Christmas/Hanu/Kwanza spend phase, 9 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,622 and things look good for the mom/dad/grad gift corridor. 10 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,459 Uh, then we'll have the usual summer lull, but... 11 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,961 Hey, we're making enough money, right? (chuckles) 12 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,421 (indistinct cough) 13 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,801 Um, hey, hey, hey... 14 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,932 OK, people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the summer. 15 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,311 Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables. 16 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,104 How about something religious? 17 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,149 We had great penetration last spring with "Christmas Two." 18 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,485 Ooh, I know: "Spendover" like passover, 19 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,611 but less talk, more presents. 20 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,570 "Product day"? 21 00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:11,905 "Giftsgiving"? 22 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,741 No, no, no! No, it's got to be warm and fuzzy. 23 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:18,953 Something like, um, "Love Day," but not so lame. 24 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,248 Happy Love Day, everyone! 25 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,833 LISA: Come on, Mom, the stores 26 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,835 just invented this holiday to make money. 27 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,962 Lisa, don't you ruin another Love Day. 28 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,047 For you, Homie. 29 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,173 (exclaims) 30 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:35,095 I'm Sir Loves-A-Lot, the bear who loves to love. 31 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,639 They didn't have Lord Huggington? 32 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,849 It's the same basic bear, Homie. 33 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,184 (sadly) I guess. 34 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,147 What the hell is this? 35 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,691 It's a kisses-make-me- boogie-o'-lantern. 36 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,193 Kiss it and make it boogie. 37 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,444 Kiss it. 38 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,279 Uh, maybe later. 39 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:54,948 (sniffs, slurps) 40 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,157 (dance music playing) 41 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,784 Oh! Oh, yeah! 42 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,953 Well, we better start our Love Day cleanup. 43 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,871 You kids take care of the wrapping paper. 44 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,832 I'll dismantle Love Land. 45 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,334 (romantic music playing) 46 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,299 Oh, what a terrible waste. 47 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,802 Yes, but the memories will last a lifetime. 48 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,930 Darn... crappy... stuff. 49 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,808 It's full, Dad. that means you have to take out the trash. 50 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,059 Yep, that's the rule. 51 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,936 He who tops it off drops it off. 52 00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:27,272 Nuh-uh. It isn't filled until it's spilled. 53 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:30,316 (grunting) 54 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,152 I wuv you... 55 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,361 (grunts) 56 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:34,988 -I wuv... -(grunts) 57 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,489 -...wuv you. -(grunts) 58 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,075 (whistling) 59 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,789 (grunts) 60 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,667 (snickers) 61 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:53,882 Ooh. 62 00:02:58,803 --> 00:02:59,804 Mm. 63 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,892 (chuckles) 64 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,560 D'oh! 65 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:08,146 MARGE: I heard that. You know the rule. 66 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,857 Oh... but I can rebuild. 67 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,109 (groaning) 68 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,485 Ow. Ow. 69 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:18,281 (muttering) Stupid trash, rotten, stinky, hate world, revenge soon, 70 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,532 take out on everyone... 71 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,533 (screams) 72 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,868 Garbage water! 73 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,161 (groans) 74 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,747 You're pushing me, baby! 75 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,795 Hey, wait! Stop! 76 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,672 I have garbage! 77 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:40,887 D'oh! You guys are the lousiest garbagemen ever! 78 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,639 Yeah, I'm talking to you! 79 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,807 You trash-eating stink bags! 80 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,226 (tires screech) 81 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,560 Uh-oh. 82 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,645 (beeping) 83 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,896 What did you call us? 84 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,232 I don't know. A lot of people were yelling stuff. 85 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,193 Yeah, you called us "trash-eating stink bags." 86 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,070 Didn't you learn anything from Love Day? 87 00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,696 That was yesterday, moron. 88 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,490 Good news, everyone. 89 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,408 I got in a fight with the garbagemen 90 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,244 and they're cutting off our service. 91 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,829 Oh, lord! Now what are we going to do? 92 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,539 Just let the trash pile up? 93 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,583 Hey, I'd rather live in a dump 94 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,795 than in a world run by snooty garbagemen. 95 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,922 Dad, is this another one of those situations 96 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,299 that could be solved by a simple apology? 97 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,635 I never apologize, Lisa. 98 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,804 I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am. 99 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:23,930 (all chomping) 100 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,432 Sit down, honey. 101 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,434 The men will clear the table. 102 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,811 (grunts) 103 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,604 So long, chicken bone. 104 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,648 See you in hell, brussels sprouts. 105 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,650 No room for you, Jell-O. 106 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,610 Good-bye, fine china. 107 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,861 -(plate shatters) -Bart! 108 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,701 Easy, Ned. 109 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,786 Don't breathe in. 110 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,288 (groans) 111 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,291 Sorry, Ned. I didn't see you down there. 112 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,667 Got him. 113 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,294 Uh, listen, Homer, 114 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,170 uh, hate to be a fussy Freddy and all 115 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,922 but Maude's folks are here 116 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,717 and, uh, they're a tad touchy about odors. 117 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,427 Then you might want to close your windows 118 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,720 before the sun hits diaper hill. 119 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:08,057 Look, Daddy! I'm king of the mountain. 120 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,600 NED: Rod, get off of there! 121 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,646 Three, two, one. 122 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:17,984 Go, go, go! 123 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,612 Ah. The rats seem happy. 124 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:28,453 Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again. 125 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:29,996 That's not how she tells it. 126 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,749 And the school nurse says Bart has the plague. 127 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:33,875 It's like the measles. 128 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,001 Good to get it out of the way. 129 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,712 Homer, this has gone far enough. 130 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:41,049 Will you please just apologize to the garbagemen? 131 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,218 Yeah, Dad, you're always telling me and Bart to apologize. 132 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,846 Yeah. But I'm always secretly disappointed when you do. 133 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:50,141 Anyway, I think those garbagemen are starting to crack. 134 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,976 I think you're starting to crack. 135 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,978 -Apologize for that remark! -No way. 136 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,188 Attaboy. 137 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,399 (yawning) 138 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,443 Good morning, trash pile. 139 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:01,694 How's my...? Hey. 140 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,864 (whoops) I won! 141 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:08,743 This is a very, very proud day for us, especially me. 142 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,412 Your father, me, beat city hall. 143 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,289 It's just like David and Goliath, 144 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,208 only this time David won. 145 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,417 (sighs) 146 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,211 LISA: I know. I heard it, too. 147 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:19,629 Here's some music. 148 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,964 (classical music playing) 149 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,551 And to think you wanted me to crawl, Marge. 150 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,553 Well, this man doesn't crawl. 151 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,888 He stands tall. 152 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,891 That rhymes, Marge, and you know it rhymes. admit it. 153 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,060 Oh, Homer, you didn't beat city hall. 154 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,186 They picked up our trash 155 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:36,896 because I wrote a letter of apology 156 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,564 to the sanitation commissioner 157 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,566 and signed your name, period. 158 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,028 Wha...? You signed my name? 159 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,696 I feel so violated. 160 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,657 You've signed my name lots of times. 161 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,910 But this isn't like a loan application or a will. 162 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,912 You signed away my dignity. 163 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,373 And I'm going to get it back. 164 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,834 Lisa, do I have my pants on? 165 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,001 -Yes. -Perfect. 166 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,506 Here's your apology back, Mr. Simpson, 167 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,591 And I'm sorry we couldn't work this out. 168 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,677 Don't come off all high-and-mighty with me, Patterson. 169 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,512 You can't scare me with your office 170 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,847 and your desk and your lamp. 171 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,557 I'm not trying to scare you. 172 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,142 I'm trying to get my work done. 173 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,768 Oh, oh, oh, I get it. 174 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,228 Put on a big show for the cameras. 175 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,522 What cameras? Why are you still here? 176 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,482 I came to fight city hall. 177 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,234 I want to shake things up, Patterson. 178 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,987 Stir up some controversy, rattle a few cages. 179 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,321 (mutters angrily) 180 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,281 Hey, stop that! 181 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,657 You'll never silence me. 182 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:33,578 I'm the last angry man, Patterson, a crusader for the little guy! 183 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,704 (twittering) 184 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,080 Leave the bird alone! 185 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,248 Never! 186 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:40,042 Look, Simpson, I've been elected by the voters of this city 187 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:45,047 16 years in a row, so they must think I'm doing a damn good job. 188 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,215 You want to know what I think? 189 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,344 No. Nobody wants to hear the nonsensical ravings of a loudmouth malcontent. 190 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,679 (gasps) 191 00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:52,972 Well, we'll see about that. 192 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,515 (muttering) 193 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,516 Hey! 194 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,144 No cutting. 195 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,189 I want to register to run for sanitation commissioner. 196 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,316 And tell the fat cats upstairs 197 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,526 things are going to change in this town! 198 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:09,572 OK, but this is where you register as a sex offender. 199 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,992 Ah, geez, there's always a line. 200 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,501 Hey, everybody,vote for my dad, 201 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,960 Homer Simpson. 202 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,462 If you don't, he'll beat us. 203 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,964 Why, you little-- Uh... 204 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,008 No one's goingto beat you, son. 205 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,801 You're going to get such a beating. 206 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,262 Hey, vote Simpson. 207 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,264 Hi. Nice to see you. 208 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,016 Thanks for coming out. 209 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,100 Keep putting on weight, huh? 210 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,227 Lenny, my man. 211 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,522 So, Homer, if we vote for you, what are you going to do different? 212 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,565 What am I, the answer man? Just vote for me. 213 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:49,445 Hm. you know, I don't know Ray Patterson but... he's no Ray Patterson. 214 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,322 Homer's a great nuclear safety inspector, 215 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,824 but I don't know if I'd trust him with my garbage. 216 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,035 LENNY: That's a peace-of-mind issue, you know? 217 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,496 These old geezers just don't get it. 218 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,248 it's time to rock the vote! 219 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,083 (U2's "Pride" playing) 220 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,295 ♪ One man come ♪ 221 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,048 ♪ In the name of love ♪ 222 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,300 ♪ One man come and go... ♪ 223 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,137 Sit down! Sit down! 224 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,722 You're ruining it for everyone! 225 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,559 ♪ One man to overthrow ♪ 226 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,685 (Homer whistling) 227 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,436 ♪ In the name of love... ♪ 228 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,230 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, can I help you? 229 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,439 (in Irish accent) Potato man. 230 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,899 Where the hell have you been? 231 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,193 ♪ In the name of love... ♪ 232 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,319 (chuckling) 233 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,779 ♪ In the name of love... ♪ 234 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,447 OK, camera two... 235 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,116 Uh, excuse me. 236 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,909 This is a restricted area. 237 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,327 Take a hike, Kojak. 238 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,704 -(grunts) -(screams) 239 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,871 (crashing and clattering) 240 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:46,335 ♪ One man he resist... ♪ 241 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,671 Hello, Springfield. 242 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,964 It's me, Homer. 243 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,632 What the bloody hell? 244 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,092 Quiet, you! 245 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:56,053 I know you youngsters want to see these rocking rockers, 246 00:09:56,137 --> 00:10:00,474 but I also know you careabout the race for sanitation commissioner. 247 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,436 So let me give you the 9-1-1. 248 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,314 (crowd booing) 249 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,815 -Boo! -Get off the stage! 250 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,984 Hold on, people! 251 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,528 The man's talking about waste management. 252 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,364 That affects the whole damn planet. 253 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,366 Oh, here we go. 254 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,535 What do we say we slip out to Moe's for a pint? 255 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,953 Can I come? 256 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,623 No. 257 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,915 Wankers. 258 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,208 (whistling) 259 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:31,213 Now, Homer, I hear Ray Patterson is a fine public servant. 260 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,965 Why should the people of Springfield-- 261 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:36,719 (cheering and whistling) 262 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,887 (annoyed sigh) 263 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,388 Why should they vote for you? 264 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,057 That's a good question, Bono. 265 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,851 'Cause I'd be the most wack 266 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,480 tripped-out sanitation commissioner ever! 267 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,731 Can you dig it? 268 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,566 -(silence) -(crickets chirping) 269 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,276 Hmm. hmm. 270 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,236 (audience booing) 271 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,864 Wow, look at him go. 272 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,116 You're the real lord of the dance, Homer. 273 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,580 (muttering) Ow! Oh! 274 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,374 Bono, help me! 275 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,084 Don't worry, folks. 276 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,669 He'll get the help he needs. 277 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,340 ♪ In the name of love ♪ 278 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:18,386 ♪ One more in the name of love ♪ 279 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,971 HOMER: My campaign is a disaster, Moe. 280 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,974 I hate the public so much. 281 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,768 If only they'd elect me... 282 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,603 I'd make them pay! 283 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,064 Ah, Moe, how do I make them like me? 284 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:33,109 Uh, gee, you're kind of all over the place, there, Homer. 285 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,360 You need to focus here. 286 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,238 You gotta think hard and come up with a slogan 287 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,532 that appeals to all the lazy slobs out there. 288 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,325 (whining) Oh, no... 289 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,827 Can't someone else do it? 290 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:45,663 "Can't someone else do it?" That's perfect. 291 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:46,789 It is? 292 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,126 Yeah. Now get out there and spread that message to the people. 293 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,460 Woo-hoo! 294 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,337 Oh, hey, you didn't pay for the beer. 295 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,589 Can't someone else do it? 296 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,800 (laughing) 297 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,884 Very good. 298 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,052 (rifle cocking) 299 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,053 (clearing throat) 300 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,388 Seriously, give me the money. 301 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,432 Fellow citizens... 302 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,184 How would you rate the trash service in this town? 303 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,437 I would deem it excellent. 304 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,564 Uh... OK, it's excellent... 305 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,442 But aren't you tired of waking up early 306 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,236 and dragging the garbage to the curb? 307 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,320 -Oh, man, you got that right. -Yeah. 308 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,030 That's so annoying in the morning. 309 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,950 Aren't you tired of having to peel 310 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,161 that last snotty Kleenex 311 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,455 from the bottom of your wastebasket? 312 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:28,456 (nasally) I'll say. 313 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,832 Well, then... 314 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,042 "Can't someone else do it?" 315 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,336 -Yeah. -Yeah. 316 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,965 And can't someone else scoop out that nasty kitty litter? 317 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,091 Yeah! someone else! 318 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,426 Someone else! yeah! 319 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:43,304 Well, Ray Patterson thinks you should do it. 320 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,183 Animals are crapping in our houses and we're picking it up. 321 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,059 Did we lose a war? 322 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,770 That's not America. 323 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,564 That's not even Mexico. 324 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:54,899 (crowd cheering) 325 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,567 Don't you deserve better than the best? 326 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:57,651 CROWD: yeah! 327 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,737 Who should handle all your dirty jobs? 328 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,948 Someone else, someone else, someone else! 329 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,492 HOMER: I'm sorry my opponent 330 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,787 didn't think enough of you to show up for this debate. 331 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,956 I'm sure he had more important things to do. 332 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,251 (crowd laughing) 333 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,086 (panting) 334 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,090 Sorry I'm late, everyone. 335 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,885 Somebody tampered with my brakes. 336 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,178 (gasping) 337 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,846 Well, then, you should have been early. 338 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,389 (laughing) 339 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,391 Hey, he got you there, Ray. 340 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,393 Oh, come on, people. 341 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,313 This man has promised round-the-clock trash pickup. 342 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,397 That's impossible. 343 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,525 Not if we hire more men, 344 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,319 and my men will do all your messy jobs. 345 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,072 They'll wash your car, scrub your shower, 346 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,907 air out your stinkables. 347 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,033 (cheering) 348 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,868 Good point! 349 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,870 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 350 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,331 Then you better turn up your hearing aid, pops. 351 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,209 Pops? I'm only two years older than you. 352 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:59,463 Do we want old man Patterson here with his finger on the button? 353 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,006 What button? 354 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,758 What the hell are you talking about? 355 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,343 What-what-what-what button? 356 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:05,427 Where am I? 357 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,554 Who took my false teeth? 358 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,973 (laughing) 359 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,892 (calmly) All right, fine. 360 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:16,105 If you want an experienced public servant, vote for me. 361 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,608 But if you want to believe a bunch of crazy promises 362 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,652 about garbagemen cleaning your gutters 363 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,112 and waxing your car, 364 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:27,825 then, by all means, vote for this sleazy lunatic. 365 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,912 (indistinct chattering) 366 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,000 Woo-hoo! 367 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,585 Aren't you going to buy it, Dad? 368 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,587 Fifty cents? Not likely. 369 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,174 (whistling) 370 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,011 Hey, Ray, cleaning out the old office, eh? 371 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,305 If I hadn't already packed my letter opener, 372 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,848 I'd give you such a stabbing. 373 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:53,350 Whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa, Ray. 374 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,061 Are we going to let politics get in the way of our friendship? 375 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,146 Friendship? 376 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:01,275 You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house! 377 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,694 Yeah. That was just a lie. 378 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,363 Simpson, the American people 379 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,241 have never tolerated incompetence in their public officials. 380 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:16,165 You are going to crash and burn, my fat-headed friend. 381 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,625 See? We're still friends. 382 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,001 Come on, give us a cuddle. 383 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,255 Jean-Paul, how are the new uniforms? 384 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,798 Do they match the suede boots? 385 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,050 Beautiful. 386 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,801 Did you get the new trucks? 387 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,053 Are they amphibious? 388 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,180 Well, there's only one way to find out. 389 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,515 We can always buy more. 390 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,893 Wow, Dad, you're really working hard. 391 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,478 Yes, I got to work hard, honey. 392 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:40,105 Daddy made a lot of crazy promises. 393 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,274 I'm really proud of you, Homie. 394 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,527 But can the garbage man really do all the things you said? 395 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,572 Oh, the garbage man can, Marge. 396 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,492 The garbage man can. 397 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,537 (bouncy musical introduction) 398 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,961 ♪ Who can take your trash out ♪ 399 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,297 ♪ Stomp it down for you ♪ 400 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,133 ♪ Shake the plastic bag ♪ 401 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,843 ♪ And do the twisty-thingy, too? ♪ 402 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:13,347 ♪ The garbage man ♪ 403 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:16,183 ♪ Oh, the garbage man can ♪ 404 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,936 ♪ The garbage man can ♪ 405 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,562 ♪ And he does itwith a smile ♪ 406 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,523 ♪ And never judges you ♪ 407 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:24,024 (chuckles in embarrassment) 408 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,152 ♪ Who can take this diaper? ♪ 409 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,698 ♪ I don't mind at all ♪ 410 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,452 ♪ Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball? ♪ 411 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,539 ♪ The garbage man ♪ 412 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,709 ♪ Yes, the garbage man can ♪ 413 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,380 ♪ The sanitation folks are jolly, friendly blokes ♪ 414 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,967 ♪ Courteous and easygoing ♪ 415 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,220 ♪ They mop up when you're overflowing ♪ 416 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,765 ♪ And tell youwhen your arse is showing ♪ 417 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,434 ♪ Who can? ♪ 418 00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,351 ♪ Who can? ♪ 419 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,394 ♪ Who can? ♪ 420 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,478 ♪ Who can? ♪ 421 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,359 ♪ The garbage man can ♪ 422 00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,154 BART AND LISA: ♪ 'Cause he's Homer Simpson,man ♪ 423 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:17,536 ♪ He cleans the world for you ♪ 424 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,081 (cheering) 425 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,125 (humming) 426 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,377 Simpson, you idiot! 427 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,130 You spent your entire year's budget in a month! 428 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,506 Your department's broke! 429 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,258 Ooh! Oh, no! 430 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,678 Wait. I think I've got the perfect solution. 431 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:38,515 You'd better, because those garbage men won't work for free. 432 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,516 D'oh! 433 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,268 Oh, Patterson was right! 434 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,938 I'm crashing and burning! Crashing and burning! 435 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,983 How could you spend $4.6 million in a month? 436 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,861 They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge. 437 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,237 A stamp! 438 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,531 You know, Dad, there's a lesson in all this. 439 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,326 Many cities have problems with garbage disposal 440 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,161 and it's time we realized you can't just-- 441 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,412 Wait! Shut up! 442 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,414 I just thought of something. 443 00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,335 (tires screeching) 444 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,964 (whistling) 445 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,425 Morning, boys. 446 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,594 Where's our paychecks, you bum? 447 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,889 My men ain't working another minute till we get paid. 448 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,350 Will cash be OK? 449 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,476 Will it? 450 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,686 Did I hear a, uh, briefcase opening? 451 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,023 OK, before I show you 452 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,567 who wants to guess how I got the money? 453 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,902 -Dealing drugs? -Drugs? 454 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,487 I'll have to say drugs, too. 455 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,447 Close, but you're way off. 456 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,836 HOMER: Look at that beautiful garbage. 457 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,045 Other cities don't want it 458 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,340 so they pay me to dump it in this old abandoned mine. 459 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,716 That's awful! 460 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,468 I almost wish it were drugs. 461 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,594 Some of it is. 462 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,388 (clattering) 463 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,015 Good God, Homer! 464 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:05,686 You're turning our wonderful little town into America's trash hole. 465 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,606 Marge! Ixnay on the ash-hole-tray. 466 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,693 But, Dad, you can't cram garbage under Springfield forever. 467 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,444 Sure, I can, honey-kitten. 468 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,703 I don't know how you did it, Homer, 469 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,330 but you certainly solved that budget crisis. 470 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,624 (moist spurt) 471 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,210 What the hell is that? 472 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,504 Uh... Nothing. 473 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,882 Now, uh, you were saying how great I was? 474 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,008 (moist spurt) 475 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,177 (grunting) 476 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:44,433 What's this? Melon rinds, panty hose, a term paper from Texas Tech? 477 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,810 Simpson, do you know anything about-- 478 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,148 Dear Lord, 479 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:53,775 please take Mr. Bunny up to heaven. 480 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,528 -(rumbling) -(all screaming) 481 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,449 Hey, Brandine, 482 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,493 I think I done busted my stink bone. 483 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,578 (rumbling continues) 484 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,205 (exclaims) 485 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:13,587 CROWD: Aye. 486 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,341 And all those opposed to horsewhipping Homer Simpson? 487 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:19,843 Nay? 488 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:23,347 And now, all in favor of reinstating Ray Patterson? 489 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:24,932 (cheering) 490 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,143 (playing Sanford and Son theme) 491 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,647 Oh! 492 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,690 Oh... (chuckling) 493 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:34,858 Oh, gosh! 494 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,194 You know, I'm not much on speeches 495 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:41,198 but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. 496 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:42,491 You're screwed. Thank you. Bye. 497 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,953 (reprise of Sanford and Son theme) 498 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,873 He's right. He ain't much on speeches. 499 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,918 No, people, we are far from screwed. 500 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,211 (rumbling) 501 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,545 (gagging) 502 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,090 (people exclaiming in disgust) 503 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,384 The time for panic has come. 504 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:04,054 We must move forward and turn to the town's all-purpose contingency plan. 505 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,639 You mean plan B? 506 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,891 Yes. B. 507 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,396 (munching) 508 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,815 I can't believe it's come to this. 509 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:16,566 Come to what? 510 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,736 Moving the whole town five miles down the road. 511 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,071 It's crazy. 512 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,991 Yeah, it's something, all right. 513 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,742 So we transplant the town. 514 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,245 We're just going to trash the new Springfield, too. 515 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:29,788 Yeah, but what are you going to do? 516 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,581 If you need me, I'll be at Moe's. 517 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,582 (grunts) 518 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,251 -Hi, Moe. -MOE: Hey, Homer. 519 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:44,344 Do yourself a favor. 520 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,430 Don't turn around. 521 00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:48,015 (flies buzzing) 522 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:51,393 (anguished wailing) 523 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,147 MAN: I told you not to turn around. 524 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,195 (theme music playing) 525 00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:23,300 Look, guys, I got a Springfield spoon 526 00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:24,468 for my spoon collection. 527 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,054 Oh, here we go. 528 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,098 How many spoons have you got now, Adam? 529 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,310 Nine. if I didn't have my spoons, I'd go insane. 530 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:34,478 Can I see it? 531 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,272 My spoon. 532 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,607 -Oh! -(spoon clangs) 533 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:40,275 Wankers. 534 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,402 -(murmuring) -Shh! 535 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,200 Captioned by Visual Data Media Services