1 00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:07,989 [birds chirping] 2 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:12,845 Oh, man, these beauties would diaper up real nice. 3 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,513 [Homer singsongy] Dad! 4 00:00:14,664 --> 00:00:16,515 We've got wonderful news. 5 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:20,352 It's a gift we've been hoping to give you for years. 6 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,596 You're finally off the wait list. 7 00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:24,839 A better room opened up. 8 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,525 [gasps] Hot diggity! 9 00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:28,085 Not diggity. 10 00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:29,528 This room is tiny. 11 00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:30,771 How's it better? 12 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,365 Better for us. It's cheaper. 13 00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,925 Much cheaper. 14 00:00:35,018 --> 00:00:36,976 Wouldn't you rather we spend that money 15 00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,020 on your grandkids' education? 16 00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,189 No! They're dumb as dirt. 17 00:00:41,283 --> 00:00:43,024 Look on the bright side. 18 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,769 You're right next to the ice machine. 19 00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:47,463 [ice dispensing loudly] 20 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:50,107 And the pill machine. 21 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,259 [pills dispensing loudly] 22 00:00:53,962 --> 00:00:55,537 And how about this beautiful view 23 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,390 they painted on the cinder block wall? 24 00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,133 It's too bright! 25 00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:02,469 And what about all my stuff? 26 00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:04,454 You'll just have to get rid of some of it. 27 00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,790 And once you're used to this smaller space, 28 00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:10,569 it'll ease your transition to a cozy pine box. 29 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,238 Pine? You promised me black walnut. 30 00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:15,482 Oh, of course, of course. 31 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,493 Only the best for my dad. 32 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,658 What about this shoe tree? 33 00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,643 Does it bring you joy? 34 00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,403 It makes me furious! 35 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,546 I'm keeping it. 36 00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,092 Whoa, Grampa, what's all this? 37 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,427 Eh, that's just all my old war stuff. 38 00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:36,762 Can I have it? 39 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,507 Oh, it warms my heart to know my precious memories 40 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:44,311 are going to someone who will cherish them. 41 00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:49,333 So how much will you give me for all this crap? 42 00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:52,760 Well, most of these medals are for cowardice. 43 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,364 Does this thing even work? 44 00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,267 Mm, four, three, two... 45 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,527 Nothing. 46 00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,770 I'll give you a hundred dollars store credit. 47 00:02:02,865 --> 00:02:04,865 A hundred dollars? Awesome! 48 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,684 No switchblades or cyanide pills. 49 00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,776 [sputters] Damn it. 50 00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:11,371 Eh, nah. 51 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:12,631 Mm-mm. [scoffs] 52 00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,374 Mm-mm. Nope. 53 00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:15,467 [scoffs] 54 00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:16,784 [groans, scoffs] 55 00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:17,785 Ooh! 56 00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:20,530 Army comic book about "VD"? 57 00:02:20,549 --> 00:02:23,183 Why wouldn't I want to catch Valentine's Day? 58 00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:25,978 Oh, my God, are you there? 59 00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,980 It's me, Margaret. 60 00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,206 [angelic choir sings] 61 00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:31,799 -Is that... -You better believe it. 62 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,468 A human brain. 63 00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:36,713 My life up to now has been merely a prelude. 64 00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,492 Today a prank king becomes a prank god. 65 00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,402 I want to buy your brain! 66 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,706 [heavy metal version of "The Simpsons Theme" playing] 67 00:02:49,244 --> 00:02:51,587 ♪ ♪ 68 00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:59,094 [beeping] 69 00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:10,022 [tires squealing] 70 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:17,696 [cat yowls] 71 00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:21,200 [all exclaim, scream] 72 00:03:21,427 --> 00:03:22,993 [laughing] 73 00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,355 So you see, Comptroller Atkins, 74 00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:29,374 we have put your new funding to use. 75 00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:32,602 We've redone the cafeteria floor and the ceiling, 76 00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:34,955 and we've added exciting new menu options. 77 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,440 Indeed. 78 00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,534 Today the children are enjoying a panoply of nutrition. 79 00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:43,113 Split pea soup, clam chowder, both varietals. 80 00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,282 Bart, are you really gonna do it? 81 00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:48,118 Guys, it's me, the Bartman. 82 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,135 [chuckles] 83 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,971 This is happening. 84 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,565 Venison chili, beef bourguignon, 85 00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,308 a vibrant Indian curry-- 86 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,570 And best of all, brain under glass! 87 00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:01,365 [students gasping, gagging] 88 00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,410 [Skinner] Bart, you did far more damage today 89 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,247 than just ruined some administrators' suits. 90 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,824 We may be wearing clothes from the lost and found, 91 00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,067 but you are truly lost. 92 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,328 Today you traumatized scores of students, 93 00:04:15,481 --> 00:04:18,257 rendered the cafeteria uninhabitable for weeks. 94 00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:20,742 And worst of all, worst of all, 95 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:23,320 you-you broke Willie. 96 00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:24,654 Chunks. 97 00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:26,506 So many chunks. 98 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,600 What do you have to say for yourself? 99 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:29,768 I regret nothing. 100 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,496 I'll gladly accept whatever book you throw at me, 101 00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:35,923 because there's no way I could ever live with myself 102 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,776 if I hadn't done this today. 103 00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:40,020 So give me all the F's, send me to juvie 104 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:43,598 or even kill me, because I'm already immortal. 105 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,766 And when I do die-- 106 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,009 Oh, shut up. 107 00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:47,769 Four weeks' detention and you're not going 108 00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:50,180 on the trip to Colonial Shelbyville. 109 00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:52,291 You will be confined to the detention trailer 110 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,351 while other students delight in learning 111 00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:56,295 how bricks were once made. 112 00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,538 Um, Principal Skinner, if I may. 113 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,615 I believe we can deal with Bart's behavior 114 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,375 in a more constructive way. 115 00:05:02,528 --> 00:05:05,378 Turn this into a learning opportunity. 116 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,955 [Chalmers] It's not a learning opportunity. 117 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,215 It's a punishing opportunity. 118 00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:10,642 The boy should suffer. 119 00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,719 He brought a human brain to school. 120 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,706 Exactly. And I think he should bring it to school every day. 121 00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,041 Learn to take care of it, 122 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,468 journal his experience, gain a sense of 123 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:24,305 [in slow motion] responsibility. 124 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,049 No, no, please don't do this! 125 00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:27,400 I'm begging you! 126 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,720 Pale skin, sweaty lip, twitchy eye. 127 00:05:30,739 --> 00:05:32,164 Now, that's suffering. 128 00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,458 Ms. Peyton, make it so. 129 00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,461 [Skinner and Chalmers laughing] 130 00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,396 [groans] Oh! 131 00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:43,258 My greatest prank has become homework. 132 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:50,515 For the next two weeks, everyone is responsible 133 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,019 for the care and protection of a fragile and helpless egg. 134 00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:55,912 Or in Bart's case, a brain. 135 00:05:55,914 --> 00:05:57,263 [students] Ew! 136 00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,174 [groans] I don't want to lug this thing everywhere I go. 137 00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,585 I had my fun for five minutes, 138 00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:03,603 and now I want to move on with my life. 139 00:06:03,755 --> 00:06:05,179 And that's parenthood. 140 00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:09,426 Aw, man, how do I even know this thing's mine? 141 00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:13,521 Um, I'm going out for candy cigarettes. 142 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,099 Be right back, slugger. 143 00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:19,436 Be sure to keep your caregiver journal up to date, 144 00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:21,938 because that's what you'll be graded on. 145 00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,124 [groans] Using a human brain for homework? 146 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,943 That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 147 00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:29,036 [Bart's brain] You know, Bart, I'm your brain, too, 148 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,556 and I can help you study all your subjects. 149 00:06:31,783 --> 00:06:34,951 Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back to sniffing permanent markers! 150 00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,210 [Bart's brain] I'll be good. 151 00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:38,271 ♪ ♪ 152 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,065 [over TV] ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show. ♪ 153 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,976 Hey, Bart, do you really think 154 00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,903 Itchy and Scratchy is appropriate 155 00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:04,330 for a developing mind? 156 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,907 It's not a baby. 157 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,218 It's a glop of gunk in a jar of goo. 158 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,746 Your baby journal's pretty empty. 159 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,824 Are you sure this isn't your second fake kid? 160 00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:17,018 [laughing] 161 00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:20,997 Oh, this sucks. I need some me time. 162 00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,999 I'm going to Milhouse's to watch reaction videos 163 00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:24,592 to reaction videos. 164 00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:27,112 Your teacher wouldn't like you leaving your baby all alone. 165 00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:28,930 Unless you get a sitter. 166 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,858 Last minute? I'll never find someone on such short notice. 167 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,118 Unless... 168 00:07:33,269 --> 00:07:37,013 Uh, Dad, would you watch your grandson tonight? 169 00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,683 [scoffs] No. I told you to get rid of it, remember? 170 00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,460 Oh, come on, please? 171 00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:43,295 I need some me time. 172 00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,538 Well, I guess I could give it the same love 173 00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:48,208 and attention I gave you when you were a baby. 174 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,117 I'm sorry, Homer. 175 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,637 I'm not accepting organs as payment. 176 00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:53,788 Anymore. 177 00:07:53,882 --> 00:07:55,031 Nah, it's just my kid's brain. 178 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,549 They grow up so fast. 179 00:07:56,702 --> 00:08:01,204 Guys, I just found out I'm next on the list for a new liver! 180 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,872 -[cheering] -Yay! -All right! 181 00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,149 Then let's give the old liver 182 00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,392 one last night he'll never forget. 183 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,635 Set 'em up, Moe. 184 00:08:07,729 --> 00:08:09,321 [chanting] One last night! 185 00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:10,897 -One last night! -[Barney exclaims] 186 00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:13,200 [upbeat video game music playing] 187 00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:16,661 [video game announcer] Atomic wedgie! 188 00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:24,002 Oh, it feels so good to get out of the house 189 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:26,412 and away from that stupid needy brain. 190 00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:27,731 Am I right? 191 00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,341 I'm enjoying being a Dad. 192 00:08:29,568 --> 00:08:32,159 I can fix the mistakes my parents made with me. 193 00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:34,495 [video game announcer] Player two loses. 194 00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:35,347 [frustrated shout] 195 00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:38,091 I'm a failure because of you! 196 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,667 [video game announcer] Bonus humiliation. 197 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,686 Defile him. 198 00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,432 Aw, kind of reminds me of my little guy. 199 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,935 Uh... [stammers] not that I care or anything. 200 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,588 Boys, I made you a healthy snack, 201 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,199 roasted cauliflower. 202 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,518 [Bart] Aw, look at him there. 203 00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:59,871 So cute on that plate. 204 00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:02,207 Maybe I should get home. 205 00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:05,544 Sweet. More roastie-collies for me. 206 00:09:09,608 --> 00:09:12,867 Oh, where is Dad with my brain? They should be home by now. 207 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,943 [car door closes outside] 208 00:09:13,962 --> 00:09:15,945 Ugh, finally. 209 00:09:15,964 --> 00:09:17,872 It's about time, you good-for-nothing! 210 00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:19,999 Relax, Marge. 211 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,135 The baby's fine. 212 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,878 Oh, there you are. 213 00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,546 Oh, my sweet little precious... 214 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,215 -[screams] Pickled eggs! -[glass shatters] 215 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,809 Where's my brain?! 216 00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:31,570 Oh, must've gotten mixed up. 217 00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:32,796 Two jars. 218 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,814 [chuckles] We were making 'em kiss. 219 00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,223 He's too young for kissing. 220 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,368 I got to go find him. 221 00:09:39,654 --> 00:09:41,746 What happened to that brain my dad had? 222 00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,973 Well, years of drinking, 223 00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:45,733 not to mention all that nuclear stuff, 224 00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:48,812 and, uh, I don't think it was all that great to begin with. 225 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:51,164 The one in the jar. 226 00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:52,257 Oh, that. Oh. [chuckles] 227 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,909 I left that in the alley for the raccoons. 228 00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,836 They'll eat tonight. [chuckles] 229 00:09:56,988 --> 00:09:58,638 -[gasps] No! -[raccoons chittering] 230 00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:00,824 [whimpers] 231 00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,508 [sighs] 232 00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:03,827 Huh? 233 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,754 Nicotine beef jerky? 234 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,422 I know who took you. 235 00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,692 [chewing noisily] 236 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,112 I'm so jerked-up. 237 00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,931 I feel like I smoked a whole cow. 238 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,159 Let's mess up this brain. 239 00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:20,935 [Bart] Leave it alone! 240 00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:22,120 That's my brain! 241 00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,270 After we blow it up, 242 00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:24,939 you can have the biggest chunk. 243 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,349 This isn't some frog 244 00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,627 where you can put a firecracker in its butt. 245 00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:30,111 It's a living thing, 246 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,188 and it's my job to take care of it 247 00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,540 and teach it to do cool stuff like, um, 248 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,969 paintball and-and pooping in jack-o'-lanterns. 249 00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,472 So hands off my brain! 250 00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:41,973 Okay, okay. 251 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:44,809 You can have your stupid head cheese. 252 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:47,062 Don't worry. I'm taking you home. 253 00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:51,224 I wonder if anyone will ever love me 254 00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:54,060 the way he loves that brain. 255 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,303 Look, man, I'm gonna take better care of you. 256 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,972 You're the only brain I've got. 257 00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,473 You need a name, bud. 258 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,142 Wait. Buddy. 259 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,403 Perfect! 'Cause you're my buddy. 260 00:11:03,555 --> 00:11:07,165 Also I don't want to think about this any harder. 261 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,411 [Bart] Thursday, May 14th. 262 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,988 Buddy and I had quite the adventure tonight. 263 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,883 I realized he's more than just some dumb prank 264 00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:18,568 or a homework assignment. 265 00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:21,012 He's a badass like me. 266 00:11:24,092 --> 00:11:25,517 -[fingers snap] -Garçon! 267 00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,019 Another high chair for my associate here. 268 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,340 [groans] You brought your jar friend. 269 00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:35,527 Oh, I get it. Buddy's a little different. 270 00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:37,195 But he's my responsibility. 271 00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:39,030 Plus he's pretty cool. 272 00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:42,850 Well, uh, maybe he can be under the table. 273 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,094 Whoa! Buddy's my plus-one. 274 00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:47,205 Would you rather me bring Milhouse? 275 00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:50,266 No, no, no, no, no. No one said Milhouse. 276 00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:51,876 Simpsons, a-welcome. 277 00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,287 Oh, my favorite a-family. 278 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,606 A-Homer, a-Marge, a-Lisa, 279 00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:59,366 a-Maggie, a-Bart, a-brain. 280 00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,701 A-brain?! 281 00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:04,205 [praying in Latin] 282 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,873 It's okay, it's okay. 283 00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,541 It's just a school project. 284 00:12:07,635 --> 00:12:10,211 Good a-news. A table, she just open up 285 00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:12,046 in a-private dining room. 286 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,624 [winded] You can... go into... 287 00:12:14,642 --> 00:12:16,276 [panting] 288 00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:19,571 My pasta's cold. 289 00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:21,448 Everything's cold! 290 00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:27,061 Ugh, this brain business will not be good for Bart 291 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,638 if he keeps it up. 292 00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:31,732 Oh, come on, think of all the worse stuff he could be doing. 293 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,326 Or all the worse stuff he's done. 294 00:12:33,478 --> 00:12:34,568 He named it! 295 00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:37,255 And I think he gave it a bite of tiramisu. 296 00:12:37,406 --> 00:12:39,907 [sighs] This is different for Bart. 297 00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:43,319 What if he becomes the town weirdo? 298 00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,171 Oh, weirdos aren't what they used to be. 299 00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:48,841 They start computer companies or own the Las Vegas Raiders. 300 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,584 Or become serial killers. 301 00:12:50,678 --> 00:12:53,997 But still, his odds are at least two out of three. 302 00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,607 Children label each other. 303 00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:59,593 Bart's in danger of becoming "The Brain Boy." 304 00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:00,928 You worry too much. 305 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,930 Remember when you thought Lisa was going to hell 306 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,841 because she was a vegetarian? 307 00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,342 I still think that. 308 00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,120 Excellent work on your egg projects, class. 309 00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:12,698 And your parenting journals were really inspired. 310 00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,867 An A-plus? I can't believe it. 311 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,352 I've never gotten one of those. 312 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:19,188 I thought those were just for suck-wads like Martin. 313 00:13:19,282 --> 00:13:21,800 Okay, everybody, you did a great job, 314 00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:24,377 so it's time to turn in your eggs. 315 00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:26,971 Whoa, hold on there. I am not giving you Buddy. 316 00:13:27,198 --> 00:13:29,456 Well, one of the hardest parts of parenting 317 00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,717 is watching your child move on. 318 00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,627 To be Willy's breakfast. 319 00:13:33,721 --> 00:13:36,039 [laughing] 320 00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,723 Your brain can have a home 321 00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,892 on a shelf in the school science lab. 322 00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:42,211 [grunts] Buddy hates science. 323 00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,355 He's like me. He's into MeatCanyon videos 324 00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:45,824 and doing wrestling moves on the dog 325 00:13:45,975 --> 00:13:47,717 and pouring Red Bull on pancakes! 326 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,977 Bart, it might be healthy for you 327 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,163 to take a break from Buddy. 328 00:13:52,315 --> 00:13:53,998 And it might be healthy for you to have your own kid 329 00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:55,575 and not live through us! 330 00:13:56,578 --> 00:14:00,913 I never should've told you that we were trying! 331 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,490 Don't you worry. It'll work out. 332 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,969 It's only been three months. Give it time. 333 00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:11,924 Ah, wifeless shopping, 334 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,168 where all the meat is nuggets 335 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,855 and the produce section doesn't exist. 336 00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,189 Ooh, the candy aisle. 337 00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,249 Formerly known as cereal. 338 00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:22,402 [humming happily] 339 00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:26,698 I don't care if he is Milhouse's best friend. 340 00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:28,515 He's just weird. 341 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,018 And not the kind with "a diagnosis" 342 00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:32,537 that we have to like now. 343 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:35,264 My JJ says that he talks to the brain 344 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:36,857 when no one's looking. 345 00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:38,284 My little Seymour says the kids 346 00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:41,604 all call him "Brain Boy" behind his back. 347 00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,941 Hmm. I wonder who they're talking about. 348 00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,033 Moleman? 349 00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,610 Well, whatever they're calling him, 350 00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:50,430 I don't want Bart Simpson around my son. 351 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:58,304 No surprise to me that Bart Simpson has become a weirdo. 352 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,473 [whispering] When I had him in second grade, 353 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,049 he ate a booger. 354 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,068 I hear Bart shares his bed with that brain. 355 00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,904 Puts a little sleep mask on it. 356 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,554 It's my fault, girls. 357 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,075 I should've noogied him more, knuckled some sense into him. 358 00:15:11,302 --> 00:15:15,805 He had potential, but I guess he's just the town freak now. 359 00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:17,490 [sadly] Haw-haw. 360 00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:19,584 [humming a tune] 361 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,072 [panting] Marge, you were right. 362 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,741 Everyone in the store is calling Bart "Brain Boy." 363 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,502 It's already started with the yentas. 364 00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:32,263 It won't be long before it spreads to the slaggards! 365 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,098 That's the whole rest of the town! 366 00:15:34,325 --> 00:15:35,416 Bart is lost. 367 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:38,102 He won't be known by his name but by his thing. 368 00:15:38,329 --> 00:15:40,997 Like Comic Book Guy or Crazy Cat Lady 369 00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:43,499 or Professor Pocket Pool. 370 00:15:43,592 --> 00:15:46,093 Mmm. Mmm. 371 00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:48,171 At least that professor has lifetime tenure. 372 00:15:48,189 --> 00:15:50,264 Bart's gonna be unemployable. 373 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,766 Mom, Dad, I think I have a suggestion. 374 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,510 [screams] Little Miss Know-It-All! 375 00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:56,862 I watched this nature documentary 376 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,605 that may apply to us. 377 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,774 When a chimp starts acting strangely, 378 00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,868 if it doesn't stop the behavior, 379 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,129 the tribe will savagely attack it, 380 00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:08,299 leaving it scarred and isolated forever. 381 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:09,467 I knew it. 382 00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:12,136 We need to protect my special little chimp 383 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,865 from the cruel people in this town who would shun him. 384 00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:21,312 Yes, we must be the loving parents who keep him locked up. 385 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,816 [Marge hushed] Open the door quietly. 386 00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:26,709 [whispering] You know how squeaky it is. 387 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:28,211 I told you to oil it. 388 00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:29,803 I'm not an architect. 389 00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:32,064 Your stage whispers are too loud. 390 00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:33,807 Where are you guys going? 391 00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:35,994 Bart! We, um... 392 00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,737 We're going to church. 393 00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,163 Why didn't you wake me up? 394 00:16:39,315 --> 00:16:40,740 Uh, you hate church. 395 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:44,577 The itchy pants, the big book of stuff that never happened. 396 00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:47,338 We thought maybe you'd like to skip it this week. 397 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:48,655 As a reward. 398 00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,900 Uh, for being so normal. 399 00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:51,901 [Homer chuckles nervously] 400 00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:53,327 This is about Buddy, isn't it? 401 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,329 You're ashamed to be seen with me. 402 00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:57,015 -Of course not. -No! 403 00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:00,685 Why would we be ashamed of our son and his BFF, 404 00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,095 a jar of human remains? 405 00:17:03,248 --> 00:17:05,081 Look, sweetie, why don't you just 406 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,616 make yourself some Red Bull pancakes, 407 00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:08,918 put on cartoons, 408 00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,103 and we'll be back before you know it. 409 00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:12,438 Go. Go, go, go, go. 410 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,573 [door closes] 411 00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:19,370 "...two oxen, five he-goats, 412 00:17:19,522 --> 00:17:22,874 "five lambs of the first year, this..." 413 00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:24,450 [quietly] It's so boring. 414 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,903 But finally some peace away from Brain Boy. 415 00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:30,197 I hate to say this, but you're right. 416 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,776 My jaw is unclenched for the first time in weeks. 417 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:36,870 [sighing heavily] 418 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,464 [Bart] Sorry I'm late, everyone! 419 00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:40,132 -Good to see ya. -[congregation gasps] 420 00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:43,619 Don't mind us. Just gonna sit with my loving family. 421 00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:45,121 That's the Brain Boy. 422 00:17:45,139 --> 00:17:48,140 It's so gross and wrinkled. 423 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,976 Don't look at him, JJ. 424 00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:53,237 Bart is troubled. Mmm. 425 00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,556 So, what episode of Jesus are we on today? 426 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,817 Is he still talking about not judging people? 427 00:17:57,969 --> 00:17:59,243 You know, loving your brother? 428 00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:01,579 -Or your son? -[congregation groaning] 429 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,581 Ugh, Bart, stop it! 430 00:18:03,732 --> 00:18:04,898 This is enough! 431 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,417 Yeah, this isn't just some little quirk 432 00:18:06,527 --> 00:18:09,145 like wearing a fedora or being a Libertarian. 433 00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:11,330 You got a disgusting brain in a greasy jar. 434 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,924 [scoffs] My family. 435 00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:15,909 You're the ones who always said you'd love me no matter what. 436 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,261 Unconditionally! 437 00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:20,306 This was an unforeseen condition! 438 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,586 [gasps] Oh, wait. I didn't mean that. 439 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,829 Too late, Mom. 440 00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:29,107 Yes, I have a brain in a jar. So what? 441 00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:30,942 Sideshow Mel has a human bone in his hair 442 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:32,926 and nobody talks about that. 443 00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:35,855 For your information, weirdo, 444 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:39,342 this is the femur of a kangaroo! 445 00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:43,012 It was given to me by Yahoo Serious! 446 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,864 Go ahead, laugh and point at me. 447 00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:47,350 Call me Brain Boy. I don't care. 448 00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,352 I have a friend who will never judge me, 449 00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:51,203 who's always been there for me: 450 00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:52,446 this brain! 451 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,948 He gets me, 'cause we're one in the same: 452 00:18:55,042 --> 00:18:57,618 badasses who don't play by society's rules. 453 00:18:57,712 --> 00:18:58,970 We're the Bartmen. 454 00:18:59,197 --> 00:19:01,389 Me and my best pal! 455 00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,809 Corbin Everly? 456 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,811 Who's Corbin Everly? 457 00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,295 Hold on. 458 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,723 He was a local tax accountant 459 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,650 who donated his body to science 460 00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:16,154 hoping it could benefit the world after his passing. 461 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,215 So Buddy's nothing like me? 462 00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:21,159 He's not some rude, crude, prankin' dude 463 00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,143 with the freaky fresh 'tude? 464 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,555 He was just some guy named Corbin? 465 00:19:26,574 --> 00:19:30,559 Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been sloshing him all over town. 466 00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,562 Mm. I feel bad for Bart. 467 00:19:33,581 --> 00:19:37,341 No boy wants his brain to turn out to be a nerd. 468 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:40,586 Mom, I don't think I want to be the Brain Boy anymore. 469 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,905 Oh, sweetie. 470 00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:48,019 I'm sorry we weren't more supportive during this phase. 471 00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:50,855 You hear that? It was just a phase! 472 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:54,692 ♪ It's been a long day ♪ 473 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,010 ♪ Without you, my friend ♪ 474 00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:59,922 ♪ And I'll tell you all about it ♪ 475 00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:03,759 ♪ When I see you again ♪ 476 00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:06,946 ♪ We've come a long way ♪ 477 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,356 ♪ From where we began ♪ 478 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,543 ♪ Oh, I'll tell you all about it ♪ 479 00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:15,880 ♪ When I see you again ♪ 480 00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:18,198 ♪ When I see you again... ♪ 481 00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:21,719 Oh, my goodness, it's the brain of Corbin Everly! 482 00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:24,371 Oh, where have you been, old chum? 483 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,040 Oh, oh, let's never fight again. 484 00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,227 [scoffs] What a weirdo. 485 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:33,138 ♪ Oh, I'll tell you all about it ♪ 486 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,734 ♪ When I see you again. ♪ 487 00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:38,069 ♪ ♪ 488 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,886 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 489 00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:41,572 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 490 00:20:41,799 --> 00:20:43,148 and TOYOTA. 491 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,326 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 492 00:20:49,974 --> 00:20:51,749 Mom, this is stupid. I don't want to do this. 493 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,434 No, we're doing this 494 00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:57,463 because I support you unconditionally. 495 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,175 [snake hisses] 496 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,221 Maybe we should just get ice cream. 497 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,996 Shh!