1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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{\an8}Oh, man.
3
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,804
{\an8}These beauties would diaper up real nice.
4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,222
{\an8}[Homer] Dad.
5
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,558
{\an8}We've got wonderful news.
6
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:20,395
{\an8}It's a gift we've been hoping
to give you for years.
7
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,480
{\an8}You're finally off the wait list.
8
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,315
{\an8}A better room opened up.
9
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{\an8}Hot diggity!
10
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{\an8}Not diggity.
11
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{\an8}This room is tiny.
12
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{\an8}How's it better?
13
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{\an8}Better for us.
14
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{\an8}It's cheaper.
15
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{\an8}Much cheaper.
16
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{\an8}Wouldn't you rather we spend that money
on your grandkids' education?
17
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,915
{\an8}No. They're dumb as dirt.
18
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{\an8}Look on the bright side.
19
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{\an8}You're right next to the ice machine...
20
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{\an8}[ice crashes]
21
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{\an8}...and the pill machine.
22
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{\an8}[pills clattering]
23
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{\an8}And how about this beautiful view
they painted on the cinder block wall?
24
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{\an8}It's too bright.
25
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{\an8}And what about all my stuff?
26
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{\an8}You'll just have to get rid of some of it.
27
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{\an8}And once you're used to
this smaller space,
28
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{\an8}it'll ease your transition
to a cozy pine box.
29
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{\an8}Pine? You promised me black walnut.
30
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{\an8}Of course, of course.
31
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{\an8}Only the best for my dad.
32
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{\an8}What about this shoe tree?
33
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{\an8}Does it bring you joy?
34
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{\an8}It makes me furious.
35
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I'm keeping it.
36
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{\an8}Whoa, Grampa, what's all this?
37
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Yeah, that's just all my old war stuff.
38
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{\an8}Can I have it?
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Oh, it warms my heart to know
my precious memories
40
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are going to someone
who will cherish them.
41
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,567
So, how much will you give me
for all this crap?
42
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Well, most of these medals
are for cowardice.
43
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Does this thing even work?
44
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Four, three, two...
45
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Nothin'.
46
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{\an8}I'll give you
a hundred dollars store credit.
47
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A hundred dollars? Awesome.
48
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No switchblades or cyanide pills.
49
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Pfft. Damn it.
50
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Eh. Nah. Mm-mmm. Pfft. Mm-mmm. Nope.
51
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Pfft. Yeah.
52
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{\an8}Ooh. Army comic book about VD?
53
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{\an8}Why wouldn't I wanna
catch Valentine's Day?
54
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Oh, my God. Are you there?
It's me, Margaret.
55
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Is that...
56
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You better believe it.
57
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A human brain.
58
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My life up to now
has been merely a prelude.
59
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Today, a prank king becomes a prank god.
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I wanna buy your brain.
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[rock music playing]
62
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So you see, Comptroller Atkins,
we have put your new funding to use.
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We've redone the cafeteria floor
and the ceiling,
64
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and we've added exciting new menu options.
65
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Indeed. Today, the children are enjoying
a panoply of nutrition.
66
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Split pea soup, clam chowder,
both varietals.
67
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Bart, are you really gonna do it?
68
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:49,187
Guys, it's me, the Bartman. [chuckles]
69
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This is happening.
70
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Venison chili, beef bourguignon,
a vibrant Indian curry.
71
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And best of all, brain under glass.
72
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[children gasp, gag]
73
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[Principal Skinner] Bart,
you did far more damage today
74
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:08,331
than just ruin some administrators' suits.
75
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We may be wearing clothes
from the lost and found,
76
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,002
but you are truly lost.
77
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,421
Today you traumatized scores of students,
78
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rendered the cafeteria uninhabitable
for weeks.
79
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:23,304
And worst of all-- worst of all--
you broke Willie.
80
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Chunks.
81
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,599
So many chunks.
82
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,851
What do you have to say for yourself?
83
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,103
I regret nothing.
84
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,605
I'll gladly accept
whatever book you throw at me
85
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,942
because there's no way
I could ever live with myself
86
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,694
if I hadn't done this today.
87
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,447
So give me all the Fs, send me to juvie,
or even kill me
88
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,616
because I'm already immortal.
89
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,701
And when I do die--
90
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,868
Oh, shut up.
91
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:50,206
Four weeks detention and you're not going
on the trip to Colonial Shelbyville.
92
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,542
You will be confined
to the detention trailer
93
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while other students delight in learning
how bricks were once made.
94
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,715
Um, Principal Skinner, if I may.
95
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:02,635
I believe we can deal with Bart's behavior
in a more constructive way,
96
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,555
turn this into a learning opportunity.
97
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,724
[Chalmers] It's not
a learning opportunity.
98
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,309
It's a punishing opportunity.
99
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,643
The boy should suffer.
100
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,645
He brought a human brain to school.
101
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,813
Exactly.
102
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,566
And I think he should bring it to school
every day.
103
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,485
Learn to take care of it,
journal his experience,
104
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:24,198
gain a sense of responsibility.
105
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,117
No, no, please don't do this.
106
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,535
I'm begging you.
107
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,621
Pale skin, sweaty lip, twitchy eye.
108
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,290
Now, that's suffering.
109
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Ms. Peyton, make it so.
110
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{\an8}My greatest prank has become homework.
111
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For the next two weeks,
112
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everyone is responsible for the care
and protection
113
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,895
of a fragile and helpless egg.
114
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Or, in Bart's case, a brain.
115
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[children] Ew!
116
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,485
I don't wanna lug this thing
everywhere I go.
117
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,571
I had my fun for five minutes,
and now I wanna move on with my life.
118
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,323
And that's parenthood.
119
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:09,160
Oh, man,
how do I even know this thing's mine?
120
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:13,581
Um, I'm going out for candy cigarettes.
121
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,167
Be right back, slugger.
122
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,921
Be sure to keep
your caregiver journal up-to-date
123
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because that's what you'll be graded on.
124
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:24,342
Oh. Using a human brain for homework.
125
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,011
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
126
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,930
You know, Bart, I'm your brain too,
127
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,516
and I can help you study
all your subjects.
128
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:35,103
Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back
to sniffing permanent markers.
129
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,187
I'll be good.
130
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♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪
131
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Hey, Bart.
132
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Do you really think Itchy and Scratchy
is appropriate for a developing mind?
133
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That's not a baby.
134
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,094
It's a glob of gunk in a jar of goo.
135
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,931
{\an8}Your baby journal's pretty empty.
136
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,017
Are you sure
this isn't your second fake kid?
137
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,190
Oh, this sucks. I need some me time.
138
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:24,610
I'm going to Milhouse's to watch
reaction videos to reaction videos.
139
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,447
Your teacher wouldn't like you
leaving your baby all alone.
140
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,031
Unless you get a sitter.
141
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Last minute?
142
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,285
I'll never find someone
on such short notice.
143
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,369
Unless...
144
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:37,123
Uh, Dad, would you watch
your grandson tonight?
145
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,792
No. I told you to get rid of it, remember?
146
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,878
Come on. Please.
147
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,629
I need some me time.
148
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,466
Well, I guess I could give it
the same love and attention
149
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,384
I gave you when you were a baby.
150
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,470
I'm sorry, Homer.
151
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,890
I'm not accepting organs
as payment anymore.
152
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,725
Nah, it's just my kid's brain.
153
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,059
They grow up so fast.
154
00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:01,481
Guys, I just found out
I'm next on the list for a new liver.
155
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,441
- [Lenny, Carl] Yay!
- [Homer] Hey, all right!
156
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,736
Then let's give the old liver
one last night he'll never forget.
157
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,820
Set 'em up, Moe.
158
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[all] One last night!
159
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,828
[video game voice] Atomic wedgie.
160
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,295
Oh, It feels so good to get out
of the house
161
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,715
and away from that stupid needy brain.
Am I right?
162
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,926
I'm enjoying being a dad.
163
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,595
I can fix the mistakes
my parents made with me.
164
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,514
[video game voice] Player two loses.
165
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,184
I'm a failure because of you!
166
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,771
[video game voice]
Bonus humiliation. Defile him.
167
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:49,362
Aw, kinda reminds me of my little guy.
Um, not that I care or anything.
168
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,114
Boys, I made you a healthy snack.
169
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,200
Roasted cauliflower.
170
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,622
Aw, look at him there.
So cute on that plate.
171
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,624
Maybe I should get home.
172
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,626
Sweet.
173
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,711
More roasty caulies for me.
174
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,592
Oh, where is Dad with my brain?
175
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,177
They should be home by now.
176
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:15,763
Finally!
177
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,182
It's about time, you good-for-nothing!
178
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,434
Relax, Marge.
179
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,478
The baby's fine.
180
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,188
Oh, there you are.
181
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,023
Oh, my sweet little precious--
182
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,942
Pickled eggs!
183
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:28,859
[jar smashes]
184
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,944
Where's my brain?
185
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,862
Oh, must've gotten mixed up.
186
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:32,947
Two jars.
187
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,032
We were making 'em kiss.
188
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,617
He's too young for kissing.
189
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,952
I gotta go find him.
190
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,914
What happened to that brain my dad had?
191
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,333
Well, years of drinking.
192
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,252
Not to mention all that nuclear stuff.
193
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,046
And, uh, I don't think
it was all that great to begin with.
194
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:51,465
The one in the jar.
195
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:55,219
Oh, that, oh,
I left that in the alley for the raccoons.
196
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,554
They'll eat tonight.
197
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,806
- [raccoons chittering]
- No!
198
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,103
{\an8}Hmm?
199
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,064
{\an8}Nicotine beef jerky?
200
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,608
I know who took you.
201
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,447
I'm so jerked up.
202
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,366
I feel like I smoked a whole cow.
203
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,201
Let's mess up this brain.
204
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,287
[Bart] Leave it alone.
205
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,622
That's my brain.
206
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,207
After we blow it up,
you can have the biggest chunk.
207
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,961
This isn't some frog where you can
put a firecracker in its butt.
208
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,463
It's a living thing.
209
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:34,300
And it's my job to take care of it,
and teach it to do cool stuff
210
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,387
like, um, paintball and-and pooping
in jack-o'-lanterns.
211
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,806
So hands off my brain!
212
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,391
Okay, okay.
213
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,810
You can have your stupid headcheese.
214
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,895
Don't worry.
215
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,313
I'm taking you home.
216
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:54,070
I wonder if anyone will ever love me
the way he loves that brain.
217
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,822
Look, man,
I'm gonna take better care of you.
218
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,407
You're the only brain I've got.
219
00:10:58,407 --> 00:10:59,742
You need a name, bud.
220
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,327
Wait. Buddy.
221
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,913
Perfect, 'cause you're my buddy.
222
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,249
Also, I don't wanna think about this
any harder.
223
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,088
Thursday, May 14th.
224
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,340
Buddy and I
had quite the adventure tonight.
225
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,928
I realized he's more than just some
dumb prank or a homework assignment.
226
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,013
He's a badass like me.
227
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,354
Garçon, another high chair
for my associate here.
228
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,776
Oh, you brought your jar friend.
229
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:37,697
Oh, I get it. Buddy's a little different,
but he's my responsibility.
230
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,532
Plus, he's pretty cool.
231
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:43,202
Well, maybe he could be under the table.
232
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,579
Whoa! Buddy's my plus one.
233
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,873
Would you rather me bring Milhouse?
234
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,333
No, no, no, no, no.
235
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,668
No one said "Milhouse."
236
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,461
Simpsons, welcome!
237
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,714
Oh, my favorite family.
238
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:59,719
Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie, Bart, a brain.
239
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,053
A brain?
240
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,682
[speaking Italian]
241
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,434
It's okay, it's okay.
242
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,269
It's just a school project.
243
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:12,773
Good news! A table, she just opened up
in a private dining room.
244
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,276
You can go into...
245
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,156
My pasta's cold.
246
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,741
Everything's cold.
247
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:29,165
This brain business will not be good
for Bart if he keeps it up.
248
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,168
Oh, come on. Think of all the worse stuff
he could be doing.
249
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,753
Or all the worse stuff he's done.
250
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,254
He named it!
251
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,840
And I think he gave it a bite of tiramisu.
252
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,426
This is different for Bart.
253
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,763
What if he becomes the town weirdo?
254
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,681
Oh, weirdos aren't what they used to be.
255
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:49,435
They start computer companies,
or own the Las Vegas Raiders,
256
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,353
or become serial killers.
257
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,440
But still,
his odds are at least two out of three.
258
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,275
Children label each other.
259
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,945
Bart's in danger
of becoming the Brain Boy.
260
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,363
You worry too much.
261
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:05,284
Remember when you thought Lisa was going
to hell because she was a vegetarian?
262
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,869
I still think that!
263
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,789
"Eggcellent" work
on your egg projects, class.
264
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:13,375
{\an8}And your parenting journals
were really inspired.
265
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,710
{\an8}An A-plus?
266
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,046
I can't believe it.
I've never gotten one of those.
267
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,715
I thought those
were just for suckwads like Martin.
268
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,468
Okay, everybody, you did a great job.
269
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,887
So, it's time to turn in your eggs.
270
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,556
Whoa, hold on there.
I am not giving you Buddy.
271
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,142
Well, one of the hardest parts
of parenting
272
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,228
is watching your child move on.
273
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,313
To be Willie's breakfast.
274
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:40,986
Your brain can have a home
on a shelf in the school science lab.
275
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,489
Buddy hates science. He's like me.
276
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,824
He's into MeatCanyon videos
277
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,160
and doing wrestling moves on the dog
and pouring Red Bull on pancakes.
278
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:52,832
Bart, it might be healthy for you
to take a break from Buddy.
279
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,834
And it might be healthy for you
to have your own kid
280
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,168
and not live through us.
281
00:13:57,002 --> 00:14:01,507
I never should have told you
that we were trying.
282
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,092
Don't you worry.
283
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,176
It'll work out.
284
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,761
It's only been three months.
285
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,846
Give it time.
286
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,351
Ah, wifeless shopping,
287
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:17,439
where all the meat is nuggets
and the produce section doesn't exist.
288
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:20,776
Ooh, the candy aisle,
formerly known as cereal.
289
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,366
I don't care
if he is Milhouse's best friend.
290
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,118
He's just weird.
291
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:33,205
And not the kind with a "diagnosis"
that we have to like now.
292
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:37,293
My JJ says that he talks to the brain
when no one's looking.
293
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:42,298
My little Seymour says the kids
all call him "Brain Boy" behind his back.
294
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,551
Mmm. I wonder who they're talking about.
295
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,635
Moleman?
296
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:51,223
Well, whatever they're calling him,
I don't want Bart Simpson around my son.
297
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:59,064
No surprise to me that Bart Simpson
has become a weirdo.
298
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,651
When I had him in second grade,
he ate a booger.
299
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,987
I hear Bart shares his bed
with that brain,
300
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,822
puts a little sleep mask on it.
301
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,407
It's my fault, girls.
302
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,994
I should have noogied him more,
knuckled some sense into him.
303
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:16,332
He had potential,
but I guess he's just the town freak now.
304
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,000
Ha-ha.
305
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,674
Marge, you were right.
306
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:28,260
{\an8}Everyone in the store
is calling Bart Brain Boy.
307
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,262
{\an8}It's already started with the yentas.
308
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,015
{\an8}It won't be long before it spreads
to the sluggards.
309
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,100
That's the whole rest of the town.
310
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,185
Bart is lost.
311
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,771
He won't be known by his name
but by his thing.
312
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:43,859
Like Comic Book Guy, or Crazy Cat Lady,
or Professor Pocket Paul.
313
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,948
At least that professor
has life-time tenure.
314
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,866
Bart's gonna be unemployable.
315
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:53,452
Mom, Dad, I think I have a suggestion.
316
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,120
Little Miss know-it-all.
317
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:59,208
I watched this nature documentary
that may apply to us.
318
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,629
When a chimp starts acting strangely,
if it doesn't stop the behavior,
319
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:09,009
the tribe will savagely attack it,
leaving it scarred and isolated forever.
320
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,344
I knew it.
321
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,930
We need to protect my special little chimp
322
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,684
from the cruel people in this town
who would shun him.
323
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:21,772
Yes, we must be the loving parents
who keep him locked up.
324
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,526
[Marge] Open the door quietly.
325
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,361
You know how squeaky it is.
326
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,946
- I told you to oil it.
- [door squeaks]
327
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,531
I'm not an architect.
328
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,866
Your stage whispers are too loud.
329
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,451
Where are you guys going?
330
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:35,536
Bart!
331
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,372
We-- We're going to church.
332
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,873
Why didn't you wake me up?
333
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,709
Uh, you hate church.
334
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:45,546
The itchy pants,
the big book of stuff that never happened.
335
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,132
We thought maybe
you'd like to skip it this week
336
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:51,885
as a reward, uh, for being so normal.
337
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,138
This is about Buddy, isn't it?
338
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,056
You're ashamed to be seen with me.
339
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,975
- Of course not!
- No!
340
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:03,897
Why would we be ashamed of our son
and his BFF, a jar of human remains?
341
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:04,982
Look, sweetie,
342
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,068
why don't you just make yourself
some Red Bull pancakes,
343
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,905
put on cartoons,
and we'll be back before you know it.
344
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,574
Go. Go, go, go.
345
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:23,000
"Two oxen, five he-goats,
five lambs of the first year.
346
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,169
- This was the offering"...
- It's so boring.
347
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,756
But finally some peace away
from Brain Boy.
348
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,008
I hate to say this, but you're right.
349
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:34,094
My jaw is unclenched
for the first time in weeks.
350
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,391
[Bart] Sorry I'm late, everyone.
351
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,934
- Good to see ya.
- [all gasp]
352
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:44,271
Don't mind us,
just gonna sit with my loving family.
353
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,856
That's the Brain Boy.
354
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,942
It's so gross and wrinkled.
355
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,527
Don't look at him, JJ.
356
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,363
Bart is troubled.
357
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,533
So, what episode of Jesus are we on today?
358
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,702
Is he still talking about
not judging people?
359
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,663
You know, loving your brother or your son?
360
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,040
[all gasp]
361
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,374
Bart, stop it.
362
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,626
This is enough.
363
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,545
Yeah. This isn't just some little quirk
like wearing a fedora
364
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,880
or being a libertarian.
365
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,382
You got a disgusting brain
in a greasy jar.
366
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,801
Pfft. My family.
367
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,720
You're the ones who always said
you'd love me no matter what.
368
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,138
Unconditionally.
369
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,891
This was an unforeseen condition.
370
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,230
Oh, wait. I didn't mean that.
371
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,564
Too late, Mom.
372
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,983
Yes, I have a brain in a jar. So what?
373
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:33,737
Sideshow Mel has a human bone in his hair
and nobody talks about that.
374
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:40,327
For your information, weirdo,
this is the femur of a kangaroo.
375
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,831
It was given to me by Yahoo Serious.
376
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,749
Go ahead. Laugh and point at me.
377
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:46,917
Call me Brain Boy.
378
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,168
I don't care.
379
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:52,005
I have a friend who will never judge me,
who's always been there for me:
380
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,423
this brain.
381
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,759
He gets me 'cause we're one and the same,
382
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,512
badasses who don't play
by society's rules.
383
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,930
We're the Bartmen.
384
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,015
Me and my best pal.
385
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,686
[Bart] "Corbin Everly"?
386
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,688
{\an8}Who's Corbin Everly?
387
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:08,772
Hold on.
388
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:13,861
He was a local tax accountant
who donated his body to science
389
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,780
hoping it could benefit the world
after his passing.
390
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:20,033
{\an8}So, Buddy's nothing like me?
391
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:23,871
He's not some rude, crude pranking dude
with a freaky fresh 'tude.
392
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:27,583
He was just some guy named Corbin?
393
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:31,295
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been
sloshing him all over town.
394
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,548
I feel bad for Bart.
395
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,385
No boy wants his brain
to turn out to be a nerd.
396
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:41,597
Mom, I don't think I wanna be
the Brain Boy anymore.
397
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,557
Oh, sweetie.
398
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:48,312
I'm sorry we weren't more supportive
during this phase.
399
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:49,980
You hear that?
400
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,815
It was just a phase!
401
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,510
{\an8}Oh, my goodness.
402
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,596
{\an8}It's the brain of Corbin Everly.
403
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,307
{\an8}Oh, where have you been, old chum?
404
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,018
{\an8}Oh, let's never fight again.
405
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:29,853
What a weirdo.
406
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,416
{\an8}Mom, this is stupid.
407
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,751
{\an8}I don't wanna do this.
408
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:58,257
{\an8}No, we're doing this
because I support you unconditionally.
409
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,847
{\an8}Maybe we should just get ice cream.