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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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{\an8}Attention, shoppers.
A mother's love is forever
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{\an8}but Mother's Love Rat Poison
is only on sale till the end of the day.
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{\an8}Aw.
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{\an8}Mommy! I was waiting by the window.
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{\an8}Can I carry the bag with the milks?
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{\an8}I'm really strong.
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{\an8}I drew you picture.
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{\an8}Yes, she did.
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{\an8}She drew it in pudding.
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{\an8}Oh. Pretty.
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{\an8}But we should clean that up.
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{\an8}No!
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{\an8}- No, no!
- Fine, fine, fine.
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{\an8}- No kill Pudding Mommy!
- Pudding Mommy can stay.
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{\an8}You should've seen her
when I ate part of Ketchup Daddy.
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{\an8}- No!
- Look what I got.
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{\an8}Ah!
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{\an8}Oh, I love you, love you, love you.
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{\an8}Oh, let's play bubbles now.
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{\an8}This is a perfect moment.
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{\an8}Marge, what's wrong?
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{\an8}It-- It's slipping away.
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{\an8}You need to stop that.
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{\an8}W-W-What did you say?
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{\an8}Bart!
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{\an8}Whee! I'm flying!
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{\an8}Bart! Bart!
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{\an8}What-- What is happening?
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{\an8}No!
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Ooh!
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Oh, no.
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Oh. He popped.
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No, no. Don't sue me, Dracula!
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Did you say something?
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Oh. I was dreaming about those bubble
parties we used to have with the kids.
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- Mmm.
- But I was so sad.
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Why were you sad?
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Because I knew it was gonna end.
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I get it.
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That's why, for me, the last foot
of a six-foot party sub...
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...is bittersweet.
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Honey, you're drenched.
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It's bubble juice.
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Oh, honey, you don't look so good.
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I mean, I think you look great,
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but someone else-- say, a doctor--
might be alarmed
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at your pale skin
that is both hot and cold.
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Why did we eat at Tuesday O'Fridayhans
last night?
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I had three glasses of frosé.
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And a couple Froz-oody Marys.
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We got pretty hammered.
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Ugh. And then we bought hot dogs
from that sketchy street vendor.
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Oh, but they smelled so good.
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- Wrapped in bacon...
- Hmm?
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...sizzling in that hubcap.
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Mmm.
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Homer, don't listen.
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We have to keep the...
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...romance alive.
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I wonder why you didn't get sick.
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The clinical term is "I'm all throwed up."
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Should we call Dr. Hibbert?
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No. Oh, no, no, no, I'm-I'm good now.
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It's all gone.
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I'm all better.
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Ooh, Bounce-A-Thon is tomorrow.
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I don't think you're gonna make it.
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I'll call the school in the morning.
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I have to go.
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I volunteered for three jobs
on PTA-Martyr.com.
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Frickin' PTA-Martyr.com.
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Where is he?
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Peekaboo.
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Oh.
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Where is he?
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Where's my special little guy?
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Bart, where are you?
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Don't let go.
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Hmm?
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It's okay.
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Oh, your coat.
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Bart?
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Can somebody help me?
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I've lost my little boy.
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Bart!
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Oh, no.
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I was just about to beat these
mutant houseflies at tennis.
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What do you want?
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I've lost my-- my-my little boy.
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You know
this is a dream, right?
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Beer.
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Well, that would explain a lot.
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Yeah. In the waking world,
I'm not great at didgeridoo.
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Is this one of those dreams
where you know you're dreaming?
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There's a name for it.
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Somebody once told me.
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{\an8}I'm the one who told you.
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{\an8}That's right.
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I'm your inner Lisa.
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I remember everything
Lisa ever said to you
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exactly the way you heard it.
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Really?
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So you can tell me what Lisa said about
dreaming when you know you're dreaming?
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{\an8}Yep. It's a scientifical concept
called Lucy dreaming.
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{\an8}It was invented by sleep doctors
from a country somewhere.
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Wow. She's as smart as Old Sheldon.
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Since this is your Lucy dream,
you control everything that happens.
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So I'm the one making Homer an otter?
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Yes. He appears
in many forms in your dreams.
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{\an8}Dad's an otter because
yesterday he was lying
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{\an8}in a kiddie pool
eating nachos off his belly.
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It's a table that's always with me.
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Sometimes Dad's a clown,
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sometimes a potato,
sometimes a clown potato.
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And sometimes he's both
of the Property Brothers.
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Why am I these guys?
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Ah-- Never mind. I know why.
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But why am I having nightmares about Bart?
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Did something happen?
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How do I look at recent memories?
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It's your Lucy dream. You decide.
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Oh. So I can decide
that all my thoughts from yesterday
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are stored in, I don't know, the oven?
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Sure. Why not?
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Hmm.
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Hmm?
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{\an8}Hmm. [clicks tongue] Here we go.
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Mom, come quick!
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Whoa!
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{\an8}I'm here. I'm here. Bart, what happened?
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{\an8}- Splinter.
- Oh.
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{\an8}- That's it?
- Well, it's kind of bleeding.
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Maybe not.
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When did your hands get so big?
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They're bigger than mine.
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I don't know.
Maybe I got freaky-big hands.
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Tweeze, please.
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I guess it's been
a while since we held hands.
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- Ew. Did you get it?
- Mmm.
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Thanks.
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So that's why you're having nightmares.
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Bart is super rude and full of splinters.
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Maybe.
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Or maybe I'm just sick
off hubcap hot dogs.
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Why would awake-me eat those?
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That doesn't seem like awake-me.
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After enough booze slushies,
you think you can do anything.
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I challenged the valet to an arm wrestle
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but he turned out to be just a sign.
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Why was I drinking frozen wine in a casual
dining chain restaurant on a school night?
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I don't know.
After our meeting with Bart's teacher,
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you said you needed a drink.
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Hmm.
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{\an8}Hmm.
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Mmm. Whoa!
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Look, whatever Bart did,
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we'll pay to have it cleaned or replaced
or for its therapy or--
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Bart hasn't done anything.
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I'm meeting with all the parents,
even the normal kids.
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Bart is normal.
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I-I mean, we don't say normal anymore.
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I mean, I-I'm talking to all the parents.
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You're not special.
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I-I mean, you are. [chuckles] But--
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What did you wanna talk about?
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As you know, Bounce-A-Thon means
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we're getting close
to the end of the year,
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so it's a good time to talk
about the transition to fifth grade.
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You know, last year of elementary school,
and then it's on to middle school, then--
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Middle school?
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Then everything changes.
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- Girls, acne, drugs, body odor.
- Hmm?
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Listen, I've taught fifth grade.
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Please buy your fifth grader deodorant.
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Like, real deodorant,
not the "natural" stuff.
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They may look like children,
but they smell like nervous cab drivers.
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The point is, don't freak out.
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Okay, about what?
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Well, some parents start thinking,
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"Oh, no, this is the end
of my kid's childhood."
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But fifth grade isn't
the end of Bart's childhood. Right?
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I mean, technically,
it is the last year of it.
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Did you find out what happened to Bart?
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It's what's going to happen.
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He's going to grow up.
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Damn kid.
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It was such a strange dream.
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Bart was four and he was so adorable.
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I'd almost forgotten there was a time
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when Bart was the sweet one
and Lisa was the difficult one.
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Uh, to be fair, I'm only 18 months old,
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so to be going through my terrible twos
now is actually pretty advanced.
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Crap, I'm still dreaming.
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Bounce-A-Thon!
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I'm coming too.
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- Yay!
- Aren't you sick?
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I thought I heard you barfing.
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{\an8}No, that wasn't barfing.
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{\an8}That was loud, sloshy burps--
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I signed up for snacks,
so I have to make marshmallow treat--
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I can do this.
203
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Just have to melt some margar--
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Don't worry. Super-Dad is already making
the marshmallow treats.
205
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Which Krispies did you use?
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Rice or Cocoa?
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I'm making my own.
208
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,179
The rice is "krispying" as we speak.
209
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- Whoa.
- Oh, it smells like you burnt it.
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No problem. I'll moisten it
with the last of the eggnog.
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I'm throwing up stuff I ate years ago.
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I think I saw wedding cake.
213
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You really should stay home.
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Maybe you're right.
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This will be the first Bounce-A-Thon
I've ever missed.
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Oh, missing stuff is the greatest.
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When I do stuff,
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I have a fear
of missing out on missing out.
219
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You know, FO-MOO-MO.
220
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,255
Homer, listen, you have to do this for me.
221
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Take a picture of each kid
giving a thumbs-up at the finish line.
222
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{\an8}It's for my scrapbook.
223
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,556
I've already made
windows for each school year.
224
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Bart, thumbs-up
slowly past Daddy.
225
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,811
Give him time to focus.
226
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:09,859
Mom, there's no easy way to tell you this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
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00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,737
At school, I'm becoming
known for taking cutting-edge,
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00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,739
no-holds-barred comedy photos.
229
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,823
It's true.
230
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I've heard fifth graders say so.
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00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,828
So, w-what are-- what are you saying?
232
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,831
There's no way I can do
a thumbs-up at Bounce-A-Thon.
233
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:24,915
What?
234
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,918
It will ruin the brand
I've been building since picture day.
235
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My fans expect me to top
inside-out eyelids and Scotch Tape nose.
236
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,175
You don't understand
the pressure I'm under.
237
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{\an8}But this is for the Bounce-A-Thon album.
So you'll always remember Bounce-A-Thon.
238
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,350
But... [sighs] ...I don't
even like Bounce-A-Thon.
239
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,269
I'm making fun of Bounce-A-Thon.
240
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,687
{\an8}What?
241
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None of us kids like Bounce-A-Thon.
It's not very cool.
242
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,194
Well, you thought it was cool last year.
243
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Bart, just one thumbs-up, please.
244
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I'm sorry, but no.
Crazy pictures is my thing now.
245
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You should respect
that this is just how I am this year.
246
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,670
Bart, you sound so mature and grown-up.
247
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I hate that.
248
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Run! Something's coming!
249
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This is silly. I don't need symbolism.
250
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,692
I know what I'm afraid of
and it's not a bear.
251
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,984
Sorry.
252
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,156
It's not a nightmare.
253
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,951
It's reality. Bart's growing up.
254
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,663
I should have treasured
every time he held my hand,
255
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,833
because I don't remember when he stopped.
256
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,961
The poet Khalil LeBron once said,
257
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,383
"Parents are bows--
like bow-and-arrow bows"...
258
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,467
Hmm.
259
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,304
..."from which children are shot forth
as an arrow thingy."
260
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,935
The bow doesn't feel sad when it sees
how far and true the arrow flies.
261
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,980
Well, the bow feels a little sad.
262
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,023
The bow doesn't wanna lose touch,
263
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:16,360
and the arrow has never been great
about answering texts.
264
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,615
But even after Bart grows up,
you'll still have Lisa and Maggie.
265
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:27,413
Oh, my God. Lisa and Maggie. It's going
to happen with all of them.
266
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,497
Oops.
267
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,042
Bart is just the beginning.
268
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,756
One by one...
269
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,177
all my babies will leave the nest.
270
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,140
I'm gonna lose all of them.
271
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,652
Honey, we mustn't break awake-you's brain.
272
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:02,656
Remember those commercials where they
show you what depression is like?
273
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:07,036
A rain cloud follows you everywhere.
You get sucked into sofas.
274
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,831
And when it gets really bad,
your windup monkey stops clapping.
275
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,710
Look. Look, Bart's at a playground.
276
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,380
Bart. Bart, they have your favorite
back-and-forth riding thingy.
277
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,883
The duck, Bart. Ride the duck!
278
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,676
Bart!
279
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,681
No!
280
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:33,187
Okay. Maybe I am
being a teensy bit negative.
281
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,528
Okay.
A little brain hurricane.
282
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,782
My time as a mom
will eventually come to an end.
283
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:48,536
I'll have to fill my days
with a bunch of stupid hobbies.
284
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,539
I don't want an Etsy storefront!
285
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:56,085
It's not happening now
so it's silly to be sad about it now.
286
00:13:56,085 --> 00:14:00,673
It's like going to work on time.
There's no point.
287
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,967
I wanna show you something.
288
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,806
Whoa!
289
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,934
I'm coming too.
290
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,310
- Yay!
- Aren't you sick?
291
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,562
I thought I heard you barfing.
292
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,188
Freeze it right there.
293
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:21,110
Now, watch it again.
But this time, look over here.
294
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,030
I'm coming too.
295
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,115
Yay!
296
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:31,954
Mommy's coming. Yes, she is.
Do-do-do-do-do. My mom. Uh-huh!
297
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,748
She's rehearsing her thumbs-up.
298
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,000
Oh.
299
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,295
Oh, I was so sad that Bart
had outgrown the Bounce-A-Thon
300
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,840
I couldn't see
that my sweet Lisa still loves it.
301
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,302
For now.
Next year she'll probably turn on it too.
302
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,138
Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you
to get out of the dark place, please.
303
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:53,893
You're right.
Bounce-A-Thon still means a lot to Lisa.
304
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,187
So, what are you?
Like, my feelings police?
305
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,272
No,
306
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,609
I'm pretty sure I'm here 'cause,
deep down, you're attracted to me.
307
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:06,739
The uniform, the low center of gravity,
my thick syrupy voice. Heh.
308
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,490
I don't think so.
309
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,075
If anything, I'm into Eddie.
310
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,578
Yeah, he's a beautiful man.
311
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,957
I love that Lisa was so happy
I was gonna be there.
312
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,168
I should be there for her.
313
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,714
I've got to get to the Bounce-A-Thon
before Lisa's childhood slips away.
314
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,341
How could I wake myself up?
315
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,301
Oh, well, this will do it.
316
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,351
Okay. Looking good. Feeling good.
317
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,482
Even better now.
318
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:44,902
I'll be there, Lisa.
I won't miss it.
319
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,904
...or a pickle-and-egg sandwich
320
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,615
from Joey Mayonnaise's Sandwich Creamery.
321
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,910
Where the hospitality
is as warm as the mayonnai--
322
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:02,586
Okay, I ruined the car.
But Mommy's s-still coming, Lisa.
323
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,422
Okay, here we go.
324
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,469
Oh, I gotta sign up. Okay. Username?
325
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,721
Uh, uh. Bounce-Mom.
326
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,264
Taken. Fine.
327
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,392
Uh, Barf-Mom.
328
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,060
Taken, really?
329
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,104
Borf-Mom.
330
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189
What? Oh, come on.
331
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:25,693
Marge. Oh, that worked.
332
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:41,792
I'm here, Lisa.
333
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:49,383
I promised to wear this humorous wig for
Bounce-A-Thon if we had 30 lice-free days
334
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:54,013
and, uh, well, we had 29 but I'm just
gonna assume that today is gonna go well.
335
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:58,058
"And on the bounce track right now,
the second grade."
336
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,727
That's Lisa's class.
337
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,982
Excuse me.
Excuse me, let me through.
338
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,192
I'm here to support my child.
339
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:12,406
Yeah. Well, guess what, Princess Blue?
We're all here to support our kids.
340
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,117
So stick that in your G-string
and make change.
341
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,203
I'm sorry.
I'm very, very sick, and I just--
342
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,539
Sick? W-W-What kind of sick?
343
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:25,711
I don't know. Some kind of, um,
I don't know, pox or plague.
344
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,421
Oh, boy.
345
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:35,888
Oh, no. Food smells.
It's okay. I'll just hold my breath.
346
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,474
- Mmm.
- Churro.
347
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,561
- Seafood.
- What are you gonna get?
348
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,146
Or should I have sushi?
349
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,565
Must get picture.
350
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,157
Mrs. Simpson?
351
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,241
Huh?
352
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,410
Did-- Did I get the picture?
353
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,830
No. Huh?
354
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:04,500
I took a photo after I passed out?
355
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,170
Yeah. We had to pry the phone
from your hand.
356
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,090
I've been kind of a wreck
since our meeting.
357
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,259
You know,
when you said Bart's childhood is over.
358
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,013
I did not say that.
I would never say that.
359
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,682
Bart's childhood isn't over.
360
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:25,771
I did notice that you got very quiet
after I mentioned middle school.
361
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,648
You didn't say anything else.
362
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,859
Except to ask about happy hour
at Tuesday O'Fridayhans.
363
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:36,198
Wait, you didn't say he was
heading toward girls and drugs and acne?
364
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,867
No, of course not.
365
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,869
Oh, my gosh. That was a dream.
366
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:44,248
I should have noticed
that you were 17' tall.
367
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,126
I ate bad things last night.
368
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,629
And you didn't say we needed
to buy Bart deodorant next year.
369
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,049
Oh, no, no, no. I did say that.
That part is very important.
370
00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,760
Strong deodorant.
371
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,347
Hey. Bart's got a lot of childhood left.
372
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:05,310
I mean, he scores in the 50th percentile
for knowing his right and left which is--
373
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:10,232
oh, not a test score I should have said
out loud at a school function.
374
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,859
Are you going to be okay?
375
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:17,865
Yes. I'm just gonna lie here
until the school stops spinning.
376
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,369
Feeling better?
377
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,745
Mm-hmm.
378
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:28,542
I missed the picture,
but Lisa was so happy to see me today.
379
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,711
So for now, I'm happy.
380
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,713
And who knows what the future holds?
381
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,756
Bart could knock up
his high school girlfriend.
382
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,968
You could have grandchildren
before Maggie starts kindergarten.
383
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,679
Wouldn't that be nice? Mmm.
384
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,518
Time to wake up.
385
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,858
Here he comes.
386
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,862
Mmm. My funny little guy.
387
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,996
- Th-- Th--
- Huh?
388
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:10,000
Th-That's really good.
389
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,337
Did you get the picture?
Was my crack centered?
390
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,089
Oh, Bart. It was perfect.
391
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,674
You liked it?
392
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,676
I loved it!
393
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:20,969
Thanks.
394
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:24,097
Wanna go to the dunk tank?
The gym teacher I hate is on the chair.
395
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,182
Sure.
396
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600
Oh.
397
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,813
Let's dunk that sucker.
398
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,987
And on the way home,
let's go deodorant shopping.